you’re breaking up with the user above you, why?

GASP! I was right! You wanted me to be a cat all along! I must be with someone who loves me for ME!
 
Suddenly I understand why the "bath salt" you gifted me smelled a lot more like SOUP SEASONING
 
You stole all the food in the fridge it wasn’t enough for you, no, you took the whole refrigerator and bolted!
 

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