You are in court, and suing the user above you. Give me the stupidest reason why.

By partaking in Christmas attire, You've aided in the defrosting of Mariah Carey, Bio-Chemical Superweapon and formerly classified U.S intelligence.
 
The sight of the defendant's banana muffins caused me emotional distress as it reminded me of the time I saw Sylvester tragically slip on a banana peel when I was 6.
 
Your honor, the defendant laced my donuts with 14 metric tonnes of cyanide in a failed attempt on my life. It still tasted pretty good, admittedly, but the point stands!
 
The defendant said they didn’t like my hat, which resulted in me running into a brick wall 2 miles away.
 
the defendant's strangely colored santa hat caused me so much distress i spontaneously combusted.
 
The defendant grew prized tomatoes in front of my eyes and in full view of the public and, knowingly and with malice aforethought, let them grow upwind, sending the smell of veggies in the direction of my home and preventing me from venturing outside without the smell of tomatoes in the air!
 
The defendant above me slandered the fruit of Florida
 
wHat dO yOu HaVe aGaInSt AnGeLs? Clearly I'mm too good for you 😝
 

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