Experiences 𝕎𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕣? 𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕠𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕪 𝕟𝕠𝕥? /Question/

[AstroBunny]

hello! Im sage/Hero if you don't know me, and if you do you'd know I'm 17! I struggle to find roleplay partners due to my age, and sometimes it frustrates me because im just so close to fitting the requirement of 18! But, I do understand why adults won't roleplay with someone under 18, and I will never be upset or take offense for that!

But I do wonder why exactly. Maybe it's comfort levels, maybe it's experience, or maybe something way off! I would like to ask you guys why you would or wouldn't roleplay with me/a minor! I want to educate myself on reasons why, because I must admit I do get upset sometimes. For a lot of you I think we'd be a good match! But I'm not 18 so I would HATE to make anyone uncomfortable! So I refrain from messaging people obviously if I don't fit their requirements, even if it's just cause of my age! I'm just saying sometimes it sucks cause I love roleplaying so I need more role-plays, yet can't find anyone like me!

Anyways, thanks for reading! ​

 

[Syntra]

To put it simply, I'm 28 and I don't feel comfortable interacting with minors one on one. Like, that's an entire world apart! And I like to become friends with my partners and talk about things casually, which is... impossible to do when you're constantly watching yourself. Not that I speak about nsfw-related stuff, lol, but it's just weird when you're that age. I wouldn't interact with a minor like that irl and I don't wanna do it on here.

 

[Beckoncall]

I think one of the major concerns is that there are legal ramifications and social scrutiny that come with interacting with minors that you just don't have to worry about with people of the age of Majority. I've known folks in their forties to act really immature and some minors that are positively amateur statesmen in terms of maturity. It's mainly the legal thing.

That said, If I was doing a GROUP RP, and the CONTENT OF THAT RP was not going to be questionable on a issues of content, I would just take the most talented mature sounding people for it.

 

[arato.]

I'll bite.

I don't feel comfortable writing with minors simply because of my age. I'm twenty-four. I haven't been in high school for five years and I haven't been a minor for six. It feels weird to interact heavily with folks outside of my age range, especially when they're younger. I don't even like writing with people younger than twenty if I can help it, even twenty-one, but I try not to discriminate too much based on age. If someone is eighteen or nineteen and a really good writer, then I'm flexible in that regard. I draw the line at that though. It's simply a matter of comfort and it borders into legality after a while too. Even though I don't include NSFW material in my writing (obviously), I still don't feel comfortable exposing younger audiences to other "mature" topics such as violence, addiction, etc, which I tend to usually explore in my Roleplays often.

It's nothing personal to you and I hope it doesn't discourage you from writing.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So I am in my thirties and I actually do roleplay with minors.

But then I spent most of my childhood hanging out with adults and have always written with people older then myself. So it’s not as strange to me to chat with people younger then me.

I also don’t focus on shipping or mature content. So like nothing I’m going to be writing is something I wouldn’t be comfortable talking to a kid about anyway.

 

[Inno]

It's nothing against anyone under 18 but I prefer to write in my own age group. I wrote with minors when I was a minor myself. Been there, done that. As I've gotten older, I'm just more comfortable with those my age. For me, if I have a story that involves possible romance, it would feel just weird to write that out with someone younger. And it has nothing to do with writing mature content either. That seems to be a misconception with adults not writing with minors having to do with something like that.

 

[Jannah]

Personally I do not, but it's a personal boundary thing. Nothing to do with thinking minors can't write as well or something. I'm 31, so well into adulthood, thus would feel like a creep RPing a lot of the stuff I do with minors. I have an interest in some pretty deep and mature topics. Not sexual stuff necessarily (I don't even like writing smut), but definitely other mature themes that should be trod on carefully. Plus minors may not have all the necessarily life experience to fully understand certain subjects.

 

[Zodia195]

I currently have a middle schooler in my RPG, yeah let that sink in. It did shock me initially because I am old enough to be the player's mother. But what also shocked me a bit was they joined an RPG that starts on Earth on a college campus. Lucky for them I did go and graduate from college so I am giving them a crash course on how college works. The play is 14 I think, but I did make it clear my RPG is rated PG-13. I never make adult content on sites that prohibit it, but this rpg will get dark at times. So while I have no issues roleplaying with minors, I just make sure they're aware of what kind of RPG they're getting themselves into. But it is jarring when I find out someone is old enough to be my kid lol. FYI, I am 40, been roleplaying since I was 18. I am now curious if anyone here is close to my age lol.

 

[Idea]

For me, the criteria is simple. If
A) The player meets my requirements
B) I have the availability
C) We have a shared desired plot/topic for the RP

Then I don't particularly care who the person I'm playing with is, minor, adult, whoever else. Now granted, my requirements themselves tend to be found more in more experienced players, which naturally implies that it's more frequent that they are older players as well, but I do not have any categorical care for whether the age group of the player I am roleplaying with.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I currently have a middle schooler in my RPG, yeah let that sink in. It did shock me initially because I am old enough to be the player's mother. But what also shocked me a bit was they joined an RPG that starts on Earth on a college campus. Lucky for them I did go and graduate from college so I am giving them a crash course on how college works. The play is 14 I think, but I did make it clear my RPG is rated PG-13. I never make adult content on sites that prohibit it, but this rpg will get dark at times. So while I have no issues roleplaying with minors, I just make sure they're aware of what kind of RPG they're getting themselves into. But it is jarring when I find out someone is old enough to be my kid lol. FYI, I am 40, been roleplaying since I was 18. I am now curious if anyone here is close to my age lol.

Getting closer every day my friend

I also think it must perhaps be a generational parenting thing. Cuz I keep seeing people being like “it’s illegal for adults to talk to minors” and I’m like “lol no it’s not.”

I mean sure as a small child in the 90s I was given the same scare mongering about the internet as anyone else. I am also the oldest of six siblings and spent a lot of time hanging out with adults as a kid.

Mostly cuz I was a quiet introvert with no interest in socializing with my peers.

So to me mentoring younger people is just what you do once you reach a certain age. I absolutely have talked to kids about stuff like college or divorce or whatever.

I mean I do edit to their level of comfort but I do that when talking to adults.

And no one has come to arrest me, no angry parents have screamed at me over the internet, and the child hasn’t been traumatized for life.

I think people underestimate how much children can understand about experiences outside their own life, especially if you have the patience to teach them.

Yeah sometimes the characters or writing aren’t great but listen I would rather deal with a teenager making a good faith effort then a grown adults one-dimensional Mary Sue monstrosity any day. At least the teen usually takes constructive criticism.

 

[counterfeitcowboy]

I don't write 1x1 with folks under 21, and I much prefer 25+. Even if the premise of the story was purely platonic, I simply have no interest in having a writing partner that much younger than I am. It is nothing personal! I started RPing in 1999, when I was very, very young. Everyone's gotta start somewhere, sometime.

The thing is, I like to be friends to some extent with RP partners. I don't have friends under 21 IRL, even if I get along with young people just fine. It's just that we're at completely different points in life. The same goes for writing friends; we tend to want different stories. We write different characters. I have a far more enjoyable time writing with people at a similar level of maturity -- and no matter how mature someone is, there is a difference between an 18 year old and a 25 year old. Hell, there's a difference between a 21 and a 25 year old.

It's also a comfort thing. I like to write heavy, gritty stuff, and I feel a lot better doing so with someone closer to my own age.

Please try not to feel upset when you're ruled out because of your age. It's almost never that older adults are discounting your skill and ability; they just want to write against people they can relate to, and with whom they can feel comfortable expressing themselves through fiction.

 

[Sylph]

Personally, I don't ask for IRL age of roleplay partners and I would probably feel weird being asked for mine, but I do primarily group roleplays where the focus isn't on any one person. Being in the fantasy genre also helps, since the typical challenges aren't tied to modern day struggles as much as other scenarios might be.

I might feel slightly different about age in a 1x1 roleplay, but for me that's one of the least stressful factors in finding a partner. I'd be unlikely to put myself in such a situation to begin with. As far as I'm concerned, if someone can write well or is willing to work on themselves to improve, I'm more than happy to give writing with them a chance in a group scenario.

 

[makima]

To put it simply, I'm 28 and I don't feel comfortable interacting with minors one on one. Like, that's an entire world apart! And I like to become friends with my partners and talk about things casually, which is... impossible to do when you're constantly watching yourself. Not that I speak about nsfw-related stuff, lol, but it's just weird when you're that age. I wouldn't interact with a minor like that irl and I don't wanna do it on here.

I agree with this exactly! I’m also 28, I just find it a bit uncomfortable. I prefer 21+ at the least. When I talk to people younger than me sometimes I’ll make a joke or reference an old meme and I feel like I age 100000 years, LOL.

 

[Spoiled Bread]

I personally don't mind RPing with minor as long as whatever they write isn't too jarring to read. Also, I'm not an english-native so sometimes I write like a teenager too. One of my friend did have an experience encountering a helicopter parent who suddenly took over their conversation though.

 

[mountainpost]

As a disclaimer, I'm a young adult who's college-aged. I've always hung out with older people, so I don't view it as too strange to interact with minors, especially since I'm not that far removed from them myself. But I prefer to not write with minors after bad experiences with them. Don't get me wrong - plenty minors are capable of producing beautiful writing. But most of what I write is LGBT+ centered, and so it's mostly LGBT+ roleplay partners that I end up with. Queer youth is a difficult thing, especially in this time and age; kids are figuring themselves out, often in a hostile environment, and unfortunately, that often leads to exclusionary and abusive behavior as a means of validating themselves. I've had several roleplay partners, all queer teenagers, who have deleted our rps and chewed me out for identifying as a gay multigender person, because they insisted that all nonbinary people are agender, and that multigender people can't be nonbinary or gay. After this happening several times, and seeing the sheer prevalence of this behavior in minors within the community, I just stopped trying. I'm not going to suss out which queer minors are okay to be myself around - I do that enough with homophobic people irl, so I certainly don't have the energy to do it online. In my experience, queer adults are astronomically less likely to be exclusionists, and certainly don't demand that I change my identity for their comfort. So for me, it's more like risk assessment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[BackSet]

As a newly minted adult (just turned 18 in may) I have no problems roleplaying with minors and probably never will. As long as you can write competently I have zero problems with age. Besides, I don't ask the age of people I RP with anyways unless it happens to come up in conversation. If you ask me, that's creepier than just being an adult roleplaying with a not-adult.

So, yeah.

 

[Jannah]

As a newly minted adult (just turned 18 in may) I have no problems roleplaying with minors and probably never will. As long as you can write competently I have zero problems with age. Besides, I don't ask the age of people I RP with anyways unless it happens to come up in conversation. If you ask me, that's creepier than just being an adult roleplaying with a not-adult.

So, yeah.

You say that now, but your opinion on the matter may change as you get older. I mean, when I was 18 I was still RPing with like 16 and 17 year olds. Even 15 year olds occasionally. I had more in common with people that age than I did people in their mid to late 20's. Now that I'm in my early 30's I prefer my partners to be 25+, although I am willing to go as low as 18. I just have more in common with people in that age bracket, thus it's easier to relate to the type of life experiences that may inspire themes in their writing.

 

[Onmyoji]

It is OK to disagree but please don't get into personal arguments.

 

[Chordling]

I think connection with a roleplaying partner is important and I find myself connecting with adults in a different way than I do with younger people. I prefer that connection with adults if I’m roleplaying in a one on one setting but it doesn’t seem to impact me as much if I’m in a larger group. I do try to offer a courtesy to younger people to roleplay with me since that is what many adults had done for me in the past. What matters most in the end is that everyone is enjoying the story and having fun.

 

[GojiBean]

Hoyo peeps.

I'm almost 33. And to me, these are the only things that genuinely matter with respect to role-playing with other people online:

If you're...

* Excited to RP
* Can make a good CS
* Can communicate well with others
* Are creative and enjoy exploring the possibilities within the worldbuilding I've set for the RP

Then that's good enough for me.

I couldn't care less how old someone is so long as they meet the above four criteria.


I had practically written a Master's Thesis over the last hour and a half addressing the comments made above, but I've elected to forego posting it as I believe it would only bring further discourse rather than help resolve anything.

Instead, I would implore everyone in this thread to stop fretting about age and focus on why we're all here: Role-playing.

Don't ask someone else's age when you meet them. Just role-play.

Don't deny yourself the opportunity to learn and grow from someone else because of an arbitrary number. Just role-play.

Don't deny others the opportunity to potentially learn and grow from you because of an arbitrary number. Just role-play.

Age is an arbitrary number, and it doesn't determine or in any way reflect a person's worth, or what they can bring to the table if you give them half a chance.

Focus on role-playing.

Thank you.

 

[nerdy tangents]

GojiBean see I disagree with the “age is just a number” because age does indeed affect peoples writing.

I don’t mean that in an elitist manner but the fact is that a seventeen year old is going to view the world through a different lens then a thirty year old.

Now some people can overcome the gap and roleplay comfortably and some people can’t. But either way the gap is still there and it can affect roleplaying.

It’s the same way one partner writing in first person and one partner writing in third person can be jarring. Some people can accept the differences and have fun writing together. For other people the difference ruins their enjoyment.

 

[Natasha4E]

Zodia195 I am three years older than you. I am not terribly active in role playing anymore, but I am open to new 1X1 if I come across a matching partner.
I have no interest in role playing with minors. I don't feel we'd have enough interests in common.
We all have a right to set the rules we feel comfortable with, and choosing how we spend our time.

 

[Syalens]

I started RP online in 2000 or so at 14, I was fortunate to find people my age but also many older ones. I rarely stated my age, and this was the rampant age of "A/S/L?" On yahoo chat/MSN groups.

I would lie about my age to new people because there were quiet a lot of creeps who wanted to take advantage of my lack of world exposure, through our RPs. But, many were awesome and mentored me into being a better roleplayer, they helped me with my writing, helped me learn character development, continuity and moving beyond one sentence replies...and also far away from Mary Sue characters. It was great .
I don't have an issue with RPing with minors but I would never do anything beyond their maturity level and I would keep OOC interactions casual, not ask too many personal questions. Roleplaying can be very intimate, not in a sexual manner but internally/emotionally connecting with the other writer through your characters, you wanna make sure the person you're writing with is able to discern the difference between themselves and the characters, and I would never do romance between our characters for that reason regardless of their maturity level.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Syalens to be fair there are a lot of adults who also can’t distinquish between themselves and their characters. And I have met a few that I would swear were either lying about their age or grew up in a cult. Because they lacked the understanding of basic life skills (like paying the bills or work shifts).

So the maturity thing isn’t really about age and the self inserting into characters Definitely isn’t. I remember thinking it was and being kinda disappointed that I never hit a point where I didn’t get at least one person who very clearly was just trying to do some unpaid therapy through their writing.

Which I mean more power to you if it’s a conscious choice. Therapy is expensive. It’s a little more frustrating when it’s subconscious if only because people tend to get super defensive of whatever it is they are working through.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

I will write romance only if the other writer is of legal age. I'm capable of separating characters from players, and I approach romantic roleplay with the desire to tell a story, not so much to fulfill a fantasy (beyond wanting the images to be attractive), but I kind of agree with Syalens that roleplay involves a certain intimacy compared to other story mediums. It can be severely misconstrued especially by people who don't participate in the hobby.

For anything else, at the end of the day, I'm just here to indulge in a hobby. Age is an afterthought.