Experiences 𝕎𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕣? 𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕠𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕪 𝕟𝕠𝕥? /Question/

[redshiftcasualty]

hey! i'm 22 years old and no i wouldn't rp with a minor -- i'm not comfortable with it on a personal or moral level.

it comes down to my rp style and the unpredictable nature of the storyline. as an adult, i don't have much i can relate to kids about, so it's not natural that i would become friends with someone under 18. i'd feel very strange by befriending a minor through rp when we otherwise would have nothing in common. just a common commitment to a project with emotional stakes. it feels manipulative from my side.

secondly i like to work with my rp partner(s) to drive emotional plots, and sometimes we will create those emotions using adult themes such as violence or romance. i know those things aren't necessary to a good plot, but i find it interesting to explore those things in some contexts, and it's not something i would discuss with a minor. as someone who interacted with those topics at a young age myself, i was not old enough or mentally prepared to process those things let alone develop a healthy relationship with them.

and lastly, sometimes my characters fall in love, and show affection, and enter relationships with one another, or with my rp partner's character. even if a romantic relationship does not exist between rpers IRL, the emotional connection made between rp partners relies on romantic feelings, which i refuse to participate in with younger people. (this is all my opinion btw, i know that other people might understand the issue differently, but this is what i believe in.)

 

[WhiskeyMarten]

I'm 19, so I haven't been an adult for long, but I am willing to roleplay with minors. Really depends on the content of the roleplay and the exact age of the person (14 and 17-year-olds both fall under the "minor" category, but generally the 17-year-old would be more mature).
A light-hearted Sonic the Hedgehog RP? Yeah, sure.
A gritty, bleak zombie apocalypse RP? Probably not.

 

[GreenBeret]

My thoughts: one-on-one RP, especially in DMs, I could see being weird for someone over 18, especially with someone more like 14. However, in group RPs, I think it kind of doesn't matter (assuming things aren't NSFW, in which case it's definitely not cool). The majority of RPers on Discord are minors/very young adults, so maybe since I mainly RP there I'm more used to it?

 

[Inferno111]

Its mainly the big legal thing. Plus, Im not comfortable with it and Im not a big fan of minors, like I hate kids and such.

 

[Tenmei]

I think that I would under the right circumstances.

In a group setting or in virtual D&D? Sure, absolutely! Maybe I'd be less likely when it came to 1x1 Roleplays though. A lot of the fandoms I Roleplay are considered to be "childish" by some though, such as Pokemon, which I think is wholesome enough by itself to write with someone younger than me. Once I start to breach darker topics, though, that's the cut off for me. I want to 100% stress that I do not think someone's age impacts their writing or experiences, but there are definitely different perspectives for different people at different points in their lives.

Hope that answers your question.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Tenmei I kinda love Pokémon in themselves I have never quite gotten into their world.

But yeah there are certain fandoms where I would be more weirded out by some adult trying to do a dark gritty reboot then a kid vibing along with me in the campiness.

My Little Pony or Sailor Moon are my big examples. I don’t want a dark traumatic take on pastel ponies with sugary names nor do I need the grounded realistic version of pretty guardians. In both case the saccharine power of friendship is the whole point.

It’s meant to be silly empowerment for kids. So why not have fun in the world with an actual kid?

(( mind no one that’s a minor now would be familiar with Sailor Moon but they might have watched My Little Pony as a youngster. ))

 

[lndigo]

Age is not really a deterrent when it comes to RP for me, but I respect people’s preferences.

I’m 22 and so I can relate to teenager’s experiences a lot more than people who maybe older than me - like a person who’s mid-twenties and older might want an older partner whom they can relate to better and I can understand that. I also have the advantage of younger cousins who are minors so I know what to expect conversationally and developmentally (in life experiences).

But I tend to be careful when I RP with minors. The plot lines usually tend to be more light-hearted, fun, and fantasy based. I’d never put story and character elements that are inappropriate or “too mature”. It just comes with the territory. Darker topics, suggestive themes, and intense situations/violence are a no-go when it comes down to writing with minors. I can hold myself accountable enough not to let those slip pass. But I can also understand how it would be restrictive to people who want to write those themes, hence, wanting more mature partners.

I started off RPing at a young age (14) - at least, I consider it to be. And I wouldn’t want to turn down the opportunity to help younger minds develop their own creativity and foster that curiosity. In a way, I kind of see myself more of a friendly mentor.

 

[Jannah]

Age is not really a deterrent when it comes to RP for me, but I respect people’s preferences.

I’m 22 and so I can relate to teenager’s experiences a lot more than people who maybe older than me - like a person who’s mid-twenties and older might want an older partner whom they can relate to better and I can understand that. I also have the advantage of younger cousins who are minors so I know what to expect conversationally and developmentally (in life experiences).

But I tend to be careful when I RP with minors. The plot lines usually tend to be more light-hearted, fun, and fantasy based. I’d never put story and character elements that are inappropriate or “too mature”. It just comes with the territory. Darker topics, suggestive themes, and intense situations/violence are a no-go when it comes down to writing with minors. I can hold myself accountable enough not to let those slip pass. But I can also understand how it would be restrictive to people who want to write those themes, hence, wanting more mature partners.

I started off RPing at a young age (14) - at least, I consider it to be. And I wouldn’t want to turn down the opportunity to help younger minds develop their own creativity and foster that curiosity. In a way, I kind of see myself more of a friendly mentor.

Yea, writing preference definitely seems to be factor. A common trend I have noticed is that those who prefer more fun and light-hearted stories tend to care less about their partner's ages. It tends to be those of us wanting to explore darker and deeper (and often mature) themes that are a bit more strict about ages.

 

[lndigo]

Yea, writing preference definitely seems to be factor. A common trend I have noticed is that those who prefer more fun and light-hearted stories tend to care less about their partner's ages. It tends to be those of us wanting to explore darker and deeper (and often mature) themes that are a bit more strict about ages.

Definitely! I observed that the older crowd really wants a deeper and more grounded story - something close to slice of life with fantasy, sci-fi, horror, mystery, etc. elements to it. Exploring things about existence and what it means and developing deeper insights to relationships and how a character’s psychology would be affected by their past and how it shapes their future. Older partners tend to just want to delve a level more than the surface and they tend to want things to play out more logically. It just mirrors their developmental life stage.

My younger partners tend to be more involved in the creative realms - exploring the “what ifs” and just are more open to things that don’t have to be grounded by facts, like talking cars and giant chickens. They let themselves be and express creatively without restriction. In a way, it really lends itself to fantasy and the idea of make believe. The RP just tends to be more light-hearted. But that isn’t to say that all minors think superficially. It’s just the ideas flow without restriction to them. It’s really fun to see! Just think about the way you saw the world when you were younger vs. How you see the world now, sort of thing.

Each person is different though. I’ve had partners older than me who’s approach is more child-like and younger partners who are more mature. At the end of the day, it was really up to me to get to know them. I’ve had a great and pleasant time with both age groups so I try not to judge people by age.

 

[draconicheart]

As an adult, probably not personally. I just don't want to become "that weird adult who hangs out with minors", you know? Also, I work at a daycare as a job, so I have enough interactions with younguns on the clock. I don't want to have to be responsible for someone's wellbeing when I get home, too.

 

[Jannah]

Definitely! I observed that the older crowd really wants a deeper and more grounded story - something close to slice of life with fantasy, sci-fi, horror, mystery, etc. elements to it. Exploring things about existence and what it means and developing deeper insights to relationships and how a character’s psychology would be affected by their past and how it shapes their future. Older partners tend to just want to delve a level more than the surface and they tend to want things to play out more logically. It just mirrors their developmental life stage.

My younger partners tend to be more involved in the creative realms - exploring the “what ifs” and just are more open to things that don’t have to be grounded by facts, like talking cars and giant chickens. They let themselves be and express creatively without restriction. In a way, it really lends itself to fantasy and the idea of make believe. The RP just tends to be more light-hearted. But that isn’t to say that all minors think superficially. It’s just the ideas flow without restriction to them. It’s really fun to see! Just think about the way you saw the world when you were younger vs. How you see the world now, sort of thing.

Each person is different though. I’ve had partners older than me who’s approach is more child-like and younger partners who are more mature. At the end of the day, it was really up to me to get to know them. I’ve had a great and pleasant time with both age groups so I try not to judge people by age.

I'd say this is pretty accurate. I've been roleplaying since I was eleven years old and I'm in my early 30's now. When I started out I was definitely into the surface level fun epic adventure type stories. Now I favour the heavier and more philosophical themes. Nothing against those who enjoy the lighter stories of course, but it's just no longer my preference. I suppose you could say I outgrew it.

 

[lndigo]

I'd say this is pretty accurate. I've been roleplaying since I was eleven years old and I'm in my early 30's now. When I started out I was definitely into the surface level fun epic adventure type stories. Now I favour the heavier and more philosophical themes. Nothing against those who enjoy the lighter stories of course, but it's just no longer my preference. I suppose you could say I outgrew it.

Definitely! I think it’s really to each their own when it comes to writing genres and RP topics. Also nothing wrong with changing your interests - writing and otherwise. It’s all a part of growing as a person - we change. Outgrowing fantasy, over the top action happens faster in others and some may never tire of it at all. I think it’s what makes the RP community really cool and diverse. There’s always people to share your interest with.

 

[VeilofRain]

I don’t share my age, nor do I ask my partner’s age. Usually you can get a feel for it. That being said, I can let a minor into a group RP, so long as their skills meet the criteria.

Short answers:
Groups > Sure
1x1 > NOPE

1x1s is a hard no. I remember being that young. Sometimes, all I wanted was to try and simulate being an adult and trying things I didn’t know with others. Thankfully, at the time, I had Gaia and had plenty of people my age. We chat a lot OOC, and I won’t pretend that we didn’t discuss or see things we shouldn’t have. But we were all that age(I assume, or was told.)

I went to Iwaku because a friend invited me. Iwaku has a section you can only access if you are under 18. And sections you can only access if you are over 18. Iwaku requires a specification of birthday because the site is catered a lot towards adult RP without the limited most other RP sites have, but is heavily monitored and honestly a good place.

I’m here because sometimes, the “adult,” stuff got to be too much and ruined stories. So, I joined RPnation looking for a place to have RP without the expectation of such things. Still, regardless of my purpose for being here, I still would not be comfortable with a 1x1 partner being below 18.

 

[nerdy tangents]

VeilofRain thats interesting cuz in my experience Gaia was notorious for gross people trying to shove their fetishes down your throat. I distinctly remember a partner coming to me cuz they got porn sent to them.

And god knows how many full on fetish requests I saw or received.

Admittedly I was in my mid twenties at thr time but it’s not like I told people that. And I certainly didn’t ask for my partners age.

It’s why I left. That and the mean girl attitude among groups

 

[VeilofRain]

VeilofRain thats interesting cuz in my experience Gaia was notorious for gross people trying to shove their fetishes down your throat. I distinctly remember a partner coming to me cuz they got porn sent to them.

And god knows how many full on fetish requests I saw or received.

Admittedly I was in my mid twenties at thr time but it’s not like I told people that. And I certainly didn’t ask for my partners age.

It’s why I left. That and the mean girl attitude among groups

I was on Gaia when I was 10. Still played in my 20s but by then I knew who I was playing with because I had online friends or just didn't so much OOC.

In my teens we did some NSFW, because we were trying to explore. Fetish stuff was asked for and done, and that's why I wouldn't play with 1x1 anymore because back then that was mature and something I wanted to learn about.

It's because of how I and others were that I wouldn't 1x1 with someone underage. Even though I have my boundaries, a lot of us wanted to try at the adult world through RP which had a lot of misconceptions and hurt feelings for some.

 

[Celestial Water]

As someone that started RPing at 11/12 I understand minor’s frustrations in this department and will RP with a minor. I joined sites that were geared toward adults all the time because I didn’t know where else to go. Also, writing was a therapeutic outlet for me. I was troubled and writing dark themes and exploring the mind of playing villains gave me a different perspective on things.

But now that I’m in a better place in life I don’t RP dark themes as much as I used to. I like fluff and don’t mind just simple slice of life RPs. Where when I was younger I thought that type of writing was extremely boring. Haha

I’m 32 now and because I started so young I don’t think I could ever really give RP up. I’ve tried quite a few times and there’s always a small void when I leave it for too long…

 

[nerdy tangents]

VeilofRain maybe I’m just sleepy but couldn’t you just say no?

I mean like I said I was 20 years old at the time and whenever anyone asked me for fetish stuff I just said no. It had nothing to do with age and everything to do with “I don’t roleplay fetishes.”

so it’s not like you couldn’t just tell a teenager “hey I don’t do fetish stuff sorry”

Not all teenagers are after fetish stuff, heck most of them aren’t I would wager. At least none of the teens that ask me for roleplays now are like “I want to write fetishes” it’s more like “omg I wanna roleplay a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts.”

 

[VeilofRain]

nerdy tangents Back then I did fetish because some were my friends, and to me it was something new to explore. I had the mind set of "to get better, I need to try everything." This created some unhealthy behaviors back then while me learning some things and then needing to educate myself on others.

Now in this age, yes, I can say no. If someone now of any age wanted to break ToS, or just do something I don't do, I would tell them.

I also only recently returned to RP after having the same partners for the past few years and then much of it falling off.
Realistically, as I don't ask for age and don't share it, I could end up RPing with someone under 18 at any point as all I ask for is writing to standards that I work with. I don't really do OOC if I don't need to, though I'm not against it.

Iwaku being my last site before this, maybe I'm just still a bit paranoid about it. Even in RP where it wasn't "mature centric", Iwaku's 18+ section let me write out dark scenarios, and practice scenes that were unsuitable for some. You don't need to be 18 to be uncomfortable, only 18 to be technically allowed to view it.

I suppose by the end of this, I'm not on Iwaku. So, I might RP with someone under 18 either knowingly or unknowingly so long as they write acceptably.

 

[simulationanomaly]

In group RPs, definitely. In 1x1s, I'd honestly prefer if they were at least over 16. If there's gonna be romance involved between our characters in either setting, no dice. It's a personal boundary, for sure. I'm not sure if there's anything necessarily wrong with it morally, but I just feel strange  about writing kissing scenes with someone who still goes to high school.

 

[nerdy tangents]

VeilofRain yeah I think it sounds like more of a comfort level thing and less of an age thing.

I’m too much of a contrarian to ever do something that makes me uncomfortable. It might have taken me years to actively stand up for myself but at the very least I was always able to say “no” or at least block the other person.

It’s why my partners always came to me when they were being bullied or propositioned by others. They knew I would be like “absolutely not that’s gross block them (and give screenshot examples of how to do that).”

Heck anytime someone crosses the line I would immediately tell my group of friends “this person is a creep block them immediately.”

So I think what your talking about is less of an age issue and more of an issue with (for lack of a better word) passive partners.

Cuz yeah some people will just go along because they don’t know how to say no. And trust me having gotten into some pretty exasperating fights with exactly that personality type it is by no means regulated to the under 18 crowd.

Their are grown ass people that still have the mentality that they have to just do whatever anyone asks them to do.

As a contrarian cannot relate but I try to keep an eye out for the signs and check in accordingly

 

[Yunalescaa]

At this point for me it just comes down to a maturity and age gap sometimes. I know some incredibly mature minors and that's great. But in my late 20s not, there are many things I won't be able to relate to my partner on.

I get it. We all start roleplaying at some age. I just have a hard boundary that I would rather deal with someone closer to my age if I can. In groups it's avoidable and I'll write with them. One on one? Pass.

 

[Edric Blight]

As a non-minor now but kind of somewhat recently so, yes and no.

It really depends on the age. The lowest I’ll go is like 15-16 but I do prefer 17 and up as partners. Not that I do ERP shit but just for my own comfort.

But as a non-minor, I don’t mind too much role playing with minors as long as they’re literate, and I know some are very literate. My day job is literally working with kids and younger people so I have no hesitations or discomfort dealing with people on the younger side.

As long as it’s nothing sexual or disgusting that’s breaking the law, I really don’t mind RPing with minors. It also helps that I’m not 30+.

But if you’re some barely literate 8 year old then I’m sorry but no- I’m shutting it down. There’s 14 year olds who can write and are mature, but then there’s those who clearly aren’t at that maturity level yet.

Sexual stuff tho, although I don’t RP it, is a huge no go with me. As someone who works with kids it’d make me sick to ever see someone or hell, take part in a sexual NSFW RP with a minor. Like imagine being the parent and knowing you send your kids to me and that I hypothetically engage in NSFW RPs on the side. So yea, no.

To add as well, tbh I haven’t been an adult for that long so I can find it easier to relate with minors.

 

[bastion]

I am comfortable rping with minors desire being 30 since I'm confident in my ability to interact appropriately with teens and I feel it's important for teens to have healthy friendships with adults.

I used to have a no minors as partners in private rps for a bit, because at the time I started feeling I was too old to interact with teens. I also just wanted to write with people my own age.

Obviously everyone's reason is different, but I think a lot of it is just that we've been trained to see friendships between adults and minors as inappropriate, so after a certain point, us older folk start feeling uncomfortable with it. Which is a shame, because as I said earlier, having healthy friendships with adults is good for teens. It gives them someone outside their parental and authority figures they can talk to about things, whether that be interests or drug about themselves they're not ready to share with those who have control over their lives.

Sometimes though, it's just a matter of assumptions, with adults feeling teens won't have refined their writing skills. There's also the difficulty with relating to reach other depending on the age gap sure to the difference in life circumstances and familiarity with media. And it could just be people looking to make friends closer to there own age, and by putting a restriction they help make that more likely.

 

[vada]

I wouldn’t say no to someone based solely upon age. When I first started rping online, one of my closest partners was in their early 40’s while I had just turned 18. We wrote a lot of amazing stories together, and the age difference was never a problem.

I think maturity level comes into play, but that could be said about any age group. And now that I’m closer to 40 than 18, why shouldn’t I give someone the same chance I was given? If we get along well, have similar interests/ideas, and our writing styles vibe, I think it’s perfectly okay to rp with a minor.

 

[nerdy tangents]

vada and bastion I feel like that’s kinda of the core crux of the issue. People assuming you have to have the same life experience with someone to be their friends is actually kinda strange.

Like I adore hanging out with people who have different life experiences cuz it lets me learn new things. And the only thing I love more then learning new things is teaching other people new things.

So unless your doing overtly sexual roleplays (in which case you got worse problems then the age of your partner on this site) I think it’s kinda nice to make friends with younger kids.

It’s a good way to check in with your own assumptions and also to help kids learn about experiences outside their own.