World gone mad (with Primal Things)

[pistolmouth]

Having arrived safely back at camp, Ilya parts from his sister's side and uses the shirt she'd tossed onto the fire pit to start up the fire. Sometime between depositing the body and walking back, he'd begun to shake, hard, for relatively no reason. It isn't cold out, yet his limps twitch and jump as though he's been submerged in freezing water. Distantly, or at least on some very vague level, he knows that this is probably from shock, his body finally going into panic over the excess adrenaline now pent up in his veins and when his breath starts to hitch, Alina's hand lands very cautiously on the center of his back.


Even that makes him flinch, trying to remove himself from some sort of threat. Ali merely rubs his back, strangely composed for someone who, until she was thirteen, would burst into tears as though beaten every time she spilled a drink or broke a glass. But she is clearly coping in her own way, he tells himself, and turns his head to kiss the side of hers, his arms securing themselves around her tightly.


The sheer gratitude of having her there, of being allowed some moment of weakness, however brief, is almost enough to make him weep. Ali's arms are around him, Ilya's face pressed tightly into her hair, arms shaking as they surround her body which somehow feels sharper, as though she's lost weight, even after only a few days.


"I love you, Il." She says quietly and squeezes him briefly. Ilya doesn't respond vocally, but tightens his arms around her and plants a kiss on the top of her head.


When Jared's footsteps approach, they both part and Ilya kneels down to actually get the fire started while Alina makes quick work of getting as much of the mess from the fight cleared away. It isn't going to make it completely safe, she knows that, but she tries to return it to something as close to what it had been before Peter had ever been a person in their lives.


Glancing up, she catches Jared's eyes and swallows hard, a stabbing pain in her chest at realizing that he is crying paired with the relief that the girls are safe is enough to send her body and mind into a total state of confusion. Part of her wants to join Jared and the girls in their tears, part wants to lock her arms around Ilya and press her face into his side much the way Leigh has with Jared and another part wants to just give up completely.


The last few days have left her feeling tired, and way too old to have been the girl who went to school and had just registered for her driver's permit test two weeks prior. The thought of the test almost makes her laugh. It seems so normal, so completely far away compared to the way things are now. Not even a week ago, she was a high school student who couldn't even drive, and now...


Well, now she lives in the woods with other teenagers, where not only has she begun to develop feelings for the oldest person in the world that she can trust, but has also, just from pure bad luck, become a murderer. Like Ilya, who's killed Sonja, maybe like Jared... like the rest of her family and the rest of her town and, conceivably, the rest of the world.

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Although they are within sight of Alina and Ilya now, Jared pays little attention to them. He assumes that they see them and know they are okay, in a manner of speaking, and this is all that is necessary for the moment. For their part, Leigh and Angelina are ignoring them as well, and perhaps don't see them at all. Leigh seems unable to stop crying, while Angelina is so white-lipped and silent, only faint occasional whimpers emerging from her. Jared is concerned about both their reactions, opposite as they are, and knows even as he tries to reassure them that the fact that he himself is crying, for the first time since everything, that he can hardly be helping them.


It feels like his cheeks are being scalded from the tears against his skin, like his throat is being rubbed raw just from his effort to stop himself from crying. There is a heaviness pressing against his chest that makes it hard to breathe, and in the end Jared stops trying to make himself crying, trying to remain standing with both girls so heavy against him, weighing him down.


He sits heavily, pulling Leigh down with him, and holds Angelina on his leg, wraps his free arm more securely around Leigh, and stops trying to talk to them or trying to stop himself from crying further in front of them, just sitting, holding onto them, and letting it all be. Gradually he feels his muscles loosen with weariness more than relaxation, just before he knows for sure his crying has stopped. Angelina has become dead weight on his leg, her head heavy against his shoulder, and Leigh's nails are still biting into his other arm, her forehead pressed into its side. He can feel her hot breath against his skin and finally tries to listen to her when she whispers to him.


"I want to go home. I want to go home, Jared. I want to go home."


He knows that she knows that this isn't possible, that home doesn't exist for them anymore. He knows that she knows that if she went home, she would be just as frightened, if not more so, memories of Lydia's murder everywhere around them. He knows that she knows that regardless of what happened, the woods are the safest place for them now, the only place he can think of to be. But he doesn't try to argue logic with her then; it isn't what either of them needs. He lets her stay close to him until her whispered words stop, and then finally, he hauls himself and her to his feet, then Angelina as well, and goes with them to join the others. Both girls clinging to his hands, he looks over to where Ilya and Alina sit, finally speaking.


"We need...we need new plans."

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina glances up when she hears Jared, Leigh and Angie approaching and sucks in a deep breath, rubbing her palms against her pant legs, suddenly aware of how clammy they've gotten. Ilya hasn't stopped shaking, though his tremors have calmed down some and she places her hand on his back again, rubbing it slowly, unsure how else to take care of him or reassure him of her presence. Once they get closer, though, his posture improves and he runs his fingers through his hair, sucking back a deep breath.


Her eyes lift up to them, tongue darting out to wet her lips and comes back with the taste of blood. Is her lip bleeding? She lifts her hand and touches gingerly at her top lip, where a small cut smarts and stings at the contact. Alina isn't sure when exactly it happened, whether from the initial blow of Peter's fist, or one of the other smaller ones after he'd fallen on her knife, but the numbness in her body is wearing off enough that she's becoming aware of it.


Quickly, she glances over the girls to make sure that they are, at least physically, unharmed, and her shoulders finally relax a little when she sees that that's the case, though she is not ready to address the emotional or psychological trauma that's resulted from the attack. She is vaguely aware that she herself is in some state of shock, that she is looking at this in a way that is far too analytical for it to be anything other than that, and her fingers tighten on the back of Ilya's shirt as though it will do something to cement it in place.


Let them all have their turns.


But she can't meet Jared's eyes, his tear-stricken face piercing way too closely to the foundation her mind has managed to build up around the fight. It is way too raw just then, and she settles for training her eyes just over his shoulder looking at nothing in particular.


New plans? How? They can't leave the forest, and with everyone still in various stages of turmoil over the fact that it's just happened, wouldn't any plans they make be even shakier? Shouldn't they wait until they can look at it a little more objectively, until they're all at least a little calmer about it.


Alina can't find the words to say this, though. Instead, she pulls in a deep breath and blinks, licking her lips again. "I vote we don't take anyone else in unless we know they're not adults." Her voice is quiet, but carries a hard edge to it that surprises her a little bit. "If they die, they die. It's not on us."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared nods slowly in response to Alina’s proposal, letting out a slow exhalation as he takes this in as a silent accusation towards him and Ilya. It was they who had agreed to take Peter back with them, they who had believed him and put them all in danger. If they had let Alina come with them, or agreed to wait until they could consult her about whether to bring Peter back, maybe it never would have happened.


“That’s fair,” he says, his voice raspy enough that he barely recognizes it as his own, almost looks towards Ilya to see if it had come from him before he checks himself. “No one. No one…and…even those who aren’t adults…they could be a trap, still. Working for an adult, somehow…you…we can’t do this again.”


He paused, the words difficult to form, before he can manage, “I’m sorry.”


Angelina doesn’t respond, twisting a section of his shirt hard in her hands, almost entirely hiding herself behind him. Her eyes slowly move upward to regard Ilya’s injury, then the blood on Alina’s lip, and she stares at it until Leigh finally lifts her head, noticing the direction of her gaze, with a wet sniffle. Her own eyes widening, she points in their general direction, her fingers shaking noticeably as she chokes out, “You’re hurt. They hurt you…they hurt Jared too. Did you…is he…”


“It’s okay,” Jared tried to tell her, though this was no answer at all, but Leigh pulled away then from the hand that moved to rest on her head, her voice rising.


“I want to know if he’s dead…is he dead?”


When Jared looked to Alina and Ilya for their response, unsure of what to tell her, asked again shrilly, “Is he dead? Did you kill him?”


“Yeah…yeah, Leigh, he’s dead,” Jared told her finally, not meeting her eyes, and he was surprised when her face crumpled, and she appeared to be fighting back still another wave of weeping even as her eyes sparked with a ferocity that seemed close to rage.


“Good…good, I’m glad he’s dead, good!” she managed, even as tears shone in her eyes. “GOOD.”


And Jared couldn’t say he didn’t understand her reaction; his own was nearly the same, though not as blatantly displayed.

 

[pistolmouth]

When Jared apologizes, Ilya feels Alina hold her breath beside him. He wants to do the same, blames himself for going along with the plan to let Peter stay with them but the words are all caught in his throat. He vaguely hears Leigh pointing out that they were hurt, followed by Alina's soft reply that it isn't as bad as it looks, so he says nothing about the fact that one of his teeth has been knocked loose.


It wouldn't do any good anyway. He can always just go and yank it out himself when he's doing watch after it's loosened up a little. But then the question of whether or not Peter was dead hangs in the air and he spares a glance to Alina, still at his side, refusing to move. Her eyes close, knees creeping upward slightly, not quite to her chest, but high enough that she is able to wrap her hands around the fronts of her knees and heaves a deep breath.


Finally, several minutes after Leigh has informed them all that she is glad that Peter's dead, Ilya finds his voice. "I think we should wait until we settle down more to make any sort of plans. Right now... I mean, nobody makes good decisions when they're like this."


Ali's eyes open and she looks over at him, her features fairly calm, but the way the fire caught her eyes - the half-dazed look in them - betrayed that look of calm as well as her next words. "I'm fine."


He doesn't have the energy to argue with her, and the way he sees it, if that's what's going to help her get through this, or at least keep it together, then he can't really blame or try to stop her for it. "I think it's best to just... get it out of our system tonight, and then regroup tomorrow."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

"Get it out of our system, how?" Jared asks, his voice still strange to his own ears, hoarse and oddly distant, as he turns his eyes towards Ilya.


He is still standing, and when he becomes aware of his own legs twitching, as though threatening to give way beneath him, he slowly, somewhat stiffly eases himself to the ground, sitting cross-legged. Angelina is still standing, and he tugs her wrist gently for her to sit too beside him. Leigh doesn't go with him, however; instead she walks forward with slow, faltering steps to Alina, her eyes on her lip. She reaches out to touch it gently, her own lips quivering, and then suddenly hugs her with ferocity, pressing her face into her shoulder. She holds onto her for almost a full minute before breaking apart from her and going to Ilya, repeating the gesture.


Only with Ilya she doesn't let go. She keeps her face buried in his chest, her arms locked around his torso, and doesn't step back from him, even as Jared lifts his head, tensing, and then calls to her tersely.


"He could have killed you," she whispered, her nails almost cutting through Ilya's shirt with her hold of him. "You could have died. You could have DIED..."


If this was what Ilya mean by "get it out of their system," then it was time to get going with that, immediately, and as Jared started to struggle to his feet again, having to loose Angelina from his side to do so, he felt just slightly closer to normal at having to interfere.

 

[pistolmouth]

Ilya, feeling awkward and unsure as to how to get Leigh off of him without outright shoving her, knowing well enough that she needs the comfort too, he lets her hang on for a while. He'd noticed how long she'd hugged Ali, and hugged her back for something close to that length, rubbing her back absently. When she doesn't let go, however, and Jared starts to get up and walk over to them, he gives her pack an awkward pat, the kind he would to one of his friends after a typical one armed guy hug.


"We're okay, Leigh." He tells her quietly. "It's not as bad as it looks, you know?" Sucking in a deep breath, he tries to step back, but is unsure how to pull her off of him without prying her arms from around him forcibly.


Alina raises her hand when she sees Jared approaching and shakes her head. Right now, there isn't much harm in what Leigh is doing, and Ilya isn't going to let it get out of hand at all. The way she sees it, he may as well just let it be for now.

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Leigh didn't notice Ilya's discomfort, nor his effort to extract himself from her, and she certainly didn't notice Jared's starting forward or connect it with him wanting to "rescue" Ilya. She continues to cling to him, shaking her head against him as she disputes him in a choked tone.


"It is too. It looks like you got hurt and that guy hurt you, and it looks like you killed him and he tried to kill us, and that's bad, it can't get much worse than that!"


Jared waves Alina off when she indicated for him to leave Leigh alone. Upset or not, he wasn't about to let her hang on Ilya all day; there were two females she could hang on plus himself, if she needed to, and so he came behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, gently but rather firmly pulling her apart from Ilya. When she turned towards him, confused and somewhat reluctant to let go, he wrapped his arms around her again, keeping her pinned against him partly to keep her from fighting to go back to Ilya, partly as an embrace as he turns towards the others, seeing that Angelina is slowly inching towards Alina.


"It's okay," he told her, trying to believe it, and then with a slow exhalation, says aloud, "I guess...sleeping is out...maybe we should...tell stories or something?"


He knows it's a lame, ridiculous suggestion as soon as he says it, but they can't just stand around staring at each other, can they?

 

[pistolmouth]

When she notices Angie creeping closer to where she is sitting, Alina forces her legs down and crosses them beneath her. She catches her eye and nods, trying to smile and give her the go ahead to come over if she needs to, deciding that she may as well put herself to some sort of use since Jared has his hands full and her own brother is hopeless with kids.


... Stories? Alina runs her hand through her hair and lets out a small shudder when her fingers catch on some drying blood near the ends that's causing the strands to stick together. She swallows thickly and extracts her hand, allowing it to drop into her lap. The idea seems ludicrous. Not because she thinks that stories are childish, but more because she can't possibly think of any right now. It seems almost impossible to sort through her thoughts, which barely slog through her brain at a snail's pace, and then speed up and turn racy whenever they seem to feel like it.


"What kind? I mean... personal stories... children's stories?"


Alina glanced over at Ilya who was now sitting down close enough to the fire that she can see the shadows growing under his eyes. Personal... she hadn't thought of that. "I have one, I guess. It's kind of stupid, so if someone else has one they can go first."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

As Alina sits, Angelina continues to slowly move closer to her, stopping and standing right in front of her for a minute, then sits beside her without touching. After a few more minute she lays a hand on her arm, then her leg, resting it on her thigh. Within several more minutes, as the others are beginning to sit, to talk somewhat more frequently, she finally makes the bolder movement of getting up and slipping into her lap, as she had earlier when the girls were alone, both her grimy hands closing around Alina's wrist and hanging onto her as if she is the lap bar of an amusement park ride.


Jared nods weakly when Ilya questions what sort of stories, glad that they at least are trying to go along with the suggestion as if it makes some sort of sense, though it obviously doesn't. Alina offers to go, and he nods again in her direction, tries to smile, though he is sure his face failed to match the effort. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."


When he tries to sit, settling close beside Alina and Angelina, Leigh makes a startled noise in her throat and quickly sits in front of him. But this seems unsatisfying to her somehow, and after looking several times over to Angelina, seated in Alina's lap, then to Ilya, as though trying to make a decision, she finally with abrupt movements lifted herself slightly to sit in Jared's lap, lowering her head so her hair concealed probably pink-tinged cheeks. Jared was more than a little surprised by this; they had never had the sort of relationship where they were very physically affectionate before all of this, and she would have imagined that she thought herself entirely too old for this sort of thing. Actually, he would have been inclined to agree with her. Still, it was also obvious how badly she needed this closeness to someone, and if Ilya's lap was not an option he'd allow, then he guessed his would have to do, as strange as it would seem to him in normal circumstances.


He didn't comment, instead loosely closing his arm around her as he looked to Alina, waiting for her story.

 

[pistolmouth]

When Angelina moves into her lap, it's almost like Alina had been expecting it. She positions the arm her hands are holding around the girl and takes a deep breath before putting her hand over both of Angie's and rubbing the back of her left one with her thumb. The weight in her lap is almost comforting, something that keeps her grounded to reality enough to maintain her composure for at least a little while. She tries to return the miserable excuse of a smile to Jared and waits for everyone to get situated.


Leigh now in Jared's lap, and Ilya getting close enough to the group that Alina's shoulder brushes against his triceps, she can almost fool herself into thinking that things are at least a little normal. Not 'back home' normal, but the normalcy they have developed around the campsite. While the air is still ripe with their fear, for a while, it's almost comfortable again.


"Okay, so when I was little... maybe five? Or was it four?" She looked over at Ilya, eyebrows furrowed, "When dedushka and babushka came over?"


Ilya nodded, "You were four."


"I was four. Anyway, it was the first time Ilya and me were meeting our grandparents who were coming over from Russia. I don't remember why. Maybe for Christmas or something? Whatever. So our mom sprung for some fish eggs... uh... roe, I think it's called? Something like that. Anyway, she did it so she could make this appetizer that's really popular in Russia, usually for people who have money. It's just bread and butter with the fish eggs on top, right? And I've always really loved bread and butter, it was like a normal snack for me when I was a kid."


"We used to call her 'Maslo', which is Russian for 'butter'." Ilya chimes in, the corners of his lips twitching briefly.


Alina elbows him just hard enough to get across her "stop, that's really embarrassing" message, but not enough to hurt him. "Our parents left to go pick them up at the air port, and mom had left the appetizer on the table, just barely where I could see it. I didn't really know any better, so I climbed up onto the chair to get the plate and sat down on the floor, and the fish eggs... they looked kind of like tapioca pearls, but orange. I don't know if you've seen tapioca pearls, but - it doesn't matter. I thought they were marbles, so I started flicking them off of the bread, because... why ruin perfectly good bread and butter with marbles, right?"


She can't help smiling a little bit and absently tightens her arms around Angie. "So my parents come home, dadushka and babushka not far behind them, and our mom takes them into the kitchen, and there's me. I'm just sitting on the kitchen floor with a half-eaten plate of bread and butter, fish eggs scattered all over the floor because I eventually just sort of started playing marbles with myself. So the first thing my grandparents ever saw of me outside of pictures, was just... me on the floor with one hand full of bread and butter, and the other hand flicking fish eggs around our kitchen."


"Misha and Sasha thought mom was going to have a stroke." Ilya muttered, "Roe is so expensive."


Alina manages a shrug and tries to smile at them, "I told you, it's stupid. Best I got, though."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Angelina remains tensed in Alina's lap for some time, not relaxing back against her as she had before. She is sitting strangely upright as well, not allowing her back to make much contact against Alina's chest until the older girl draws her back against her. As Alina's story progresses, Angelina maintains her serious, almost blank expression, but she gradually leans back against her, letting her head settle beneath her chin, and her grip on Alina's wrists loosens. Seeing this, Jared absently pats her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before settling his arms back around Leigh again.


Leigh loses her self-consciousness to be in Jared's lap quickly as Alina begins to talk, her head turned towards her, and she listens to her, her eyes still wide and wet, but she is clearly paying attention.


"That sounds really nasty," she interrupts when Alina describes the food, but when Jared lightly squeezes her arm, she quietens, letting her finish. Jared feels his own heartbeat finally beginning to slow as Alina talks, and he finds himself able to give a real smile, a small one, but real all the same. Looking down at Leigh, he can see that she is smiling faintly too, and he squeezes her arm again, this time with some affection, before speaking up.


"That's funny....well, I've got plenty of stories about these two," he said, nodding towards them both. "There was...well, there was the time with Leigh's science project...."


"Jared! You can't tell them that!" Leigh sputtered, sitting up straighter on his lap and flicking her eyes to Ilya in consternation, but this was exactly the reaction he had hoped for, and exactly what he thought she needed to shake her out of her current mindset. Jared forced a smile down at her, giving her hair a gentle tug.


"I forgave you for it and I was the victim there, so it's my story to tell, right?"


"Don't you dare," Leigh muttered, and Jared tugged at her hair again, giving a weak chuckle.


"She was supposed to make some representation of a cell or something for her science class, and it had to be edible because when you're in sixth grade they still let you have fun once in a while in school, apparently. So Lyd- our sis- we got the cheapest supreme pizza we could get at the dollar store," he found it easiest to leave Lydia out of it entirely, lest any further pain jolt them out of what humor they could eek from the moment. "And Leigh grouped it up like a cell, the nucleus made of pepperoni and mitochondria out of peppers or whatever-"


"The meatballs was the nucleus," Leigh muttered, a faint scowl coming over her face, and Jared tapped her shoulder with his knuckle lightly as he continued.


"Yeah, that, whatever. But I didn't know this, see, because I was working all day. I come home and Lyd- the girls are getting ready for bed and everything, and I'm tired, I'm hungry, I go to get something to eat and there's this brand spanking new pizza in the bridge that by some miracle, no one else has touched. So I eat about half of it and put up the rest..."


He actually is smiling just a little now as Leigh continues to scowl, again asking him not to tell. "And I go to sleep and everything, and what do I wake up to like fifteen minutes later? A broom handle hitting me in the face! Little Miss Sammy Sosa here is slugging me all over with this broom screaming at me because I ate her project, which tasted awful, by the way."


"I was failing that class and it was my extra credit!" Leigh mumbled, her face bright red, but her glare towards him didn't look all that venemous. "He totally deserved that."


(that actually happened when I was twelve)

 

[pistolmouth]

Believe it or not, Alina actually laughs out loud at the story, her arms tightening ever so slightly around Angie. She rests her chin on top of her head after a while, her shoulders rolling forward slightly as her upper body began to relax.


"Our mom had to call the cops to find Ilya once." She says, having decided that she may as well get revenge for him telling everyone that her nickname was 'Butter'.


Ilya groaned, "Ali, that wasn't even serious."


Alina raised her eyebrows, rocking her legs back and forth slowly and glanced around to see if she had the interest of the others. She smirks at him, "Either you tell it or I do?"


Ilya makes a face and leans back on his hands, clearly not amused with where this conversation has gone in terms of topic. But he realizes that there's probably no way he's going to get out of the group hearing this story, so he just opts to give as much of an abridged version as he can. He's able to move away from Alina, after reaching over and carefully ruffling Angie's hair, now that she's started to relax a little bit.


"We were playing hide and seek around the yard with some kids around the neighborhood. I hid under our porch, way back against the house and I fell asleep. I was like, ten maybe? I don't know. Anyway, I fell asleep, and I slept so hard and for so long that our mom got worried and called the police because she was afraid someone snatched me or something."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Leigh giggles a little at this story, and Jared smiles too, more easily now, feeling Leigh relax back against him. He opens his mouth to talk, and is more than a little startled when Angelina speaks up.


"Did the police get you in trouble?"


He turns to her and forces a smile, trying to cover up that he's surprised she said something. "Probably not, but I bet their parents were mad, right, Ali?"


Wanting to encourage her to continue to engage with them, he asks her, "Do you mind if I tell you a story about when you were a baby, Angie? You and Leigh?"


After a long pause, she just barely shook her head, and he smiled at her again, relieved at this interaction from her. This idea had seemed stupid at first, but maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all...it was distracting, at any rate.


"Angie was smart as a baby," he reached over and lightly ruffled her hair. "She talked early, she never shut up, actually. So when she'd be bad I'd put her in her crib, like as a time out, and walk out of the room, and she would do the weirdest thing...she would scream at the top of her lungs, then stop, start talking to herself like she was comforting herself and complaining, and then scream again, then stop and start talking to herself again...it was so weird, it was like she was a six year old in the body of a baby. And when Leigh was a baby, she was a violent little thing, guess you'd never guess since she still likes to wake people up with brooms to the face," he said wryly, provoking, as he'd hoped, Leigh's indignant gasp.


"I do NOT, that was ONE TIME!"


"Anyway, when we'd go grocery shopping she'd scream if we left her in the buggy, so I'd have to put her down and let her walk and she'd try to run off. So then I'd have to chase after her and hold her over my shoulder backwards and upside down and she'd be gnashing her teeth at me the whole time trying to bite me...she used to hit me on the head with spoons too, or cups, anything she got her hands on, really. No one else, just me," he finished, as Leigh fisted him in the arm.


"Fine, well I'm gonna tell stuff about YOU then! What about the time Angie came out and showed me and Lydia the Victoria's Secret magazine she found under your bed and wanted to know if we lost it there or else how come you wanted to look at panties when you weren't a girl!" she shot back, as Jared's face reddened and he averted his eyes from Alina, laughing uncomfortably.


"That, that's not all that funny of a story..."


(those are both true about me as a baby, lol)

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina almost jumps when Angie speaks up, having not expected her to say anything for quite a while as per her usual behavior. But when she does say something, asking about if Ilya got in trouble with the police, she smiled and shook her head, going off of Jared. She rubs her arm as though trying to encourage her to chime in whenever she wants to or is comfortable.


"They were more relieved than mad. He used to fall asleep in really weird places, so on some level I think they knew he was probably just sleeping somewhere, but... I mean, we lived right next to a busy street, so it could have been either. That and who climbs under the porch, anyway?"


"It was hide and seek!"


She's able to settle down now that Jared is talking about Angie and Leigh, listening with a faint smile on her face. Her hand squeezes Angie's arm briefly and smiles at Leigh, "I was a biter when I was little too."


At the mention of Victoria's Secret magazines under Jared's bed, Alina bites her tongue to keep from laughing, more out of nerves than the fact that she found it humorous, and Ilya glances over at him to give a small, sympathetic nod. Her mind races, trying to think of some other story to tell to divert the conversation in whatever way she can, but she's completely overcome with church giggles and the need to hold them back so she doesn't hurt Jared's feelings. Desperately, she frees one of her arms from around Angie and pinches the side of her thigh. The slight pain is enough to distract her for a moment.


"Okay, okay." Ilya says finally. "Uh, what about injury stories? Any crazy broken bones or anything?"

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared notices Alina looking down, her face twitching slightly as though to suppress a laugh or perhaps a look of disgust, and he reddens further, missing Ilya's sympathetic look. He knows that what Leigh has just reported is hardly uncommon among guys his age, and doesn't make him a pervert, exactly, but that doesn't mean it's any easier for his little sister to talk about it, let alone in front of a girl near his own age- in front of ALINA.


"Yeah, well, I could tell about the time I caught you dancing around in Lydia's clothes standing on top of her dresser like it was a stage, or something," he shot back at her, and Leigh flushed again, pinching his arm.


"Shut up!"


"Broken bones," he turned towards Ilya as he asked, his arms loose and relaxed around Leigh now, noticing that she was definitely more relaxed as well. "Yeah, we've had those-"


"Me," Angelina said softly from Jared's lap, and Jared looks over at her again, his smile at her easier this time. God, it was good to hear her talking on her own.


"Yep, that's right, she did. She broke a few bones in her foot when she accidentally slammed it in the car door a couple of years ago. Me, let's see, I broke my nose as a kid getting hit by a baseball, broke a knuckle punching brick wall...not the brightest move. Nothing exciting. Leigh never broke anything though, except a fingernail, probably," he teased her, and Leigh pinched him again.


"That hurts too!"

 

[pistolmouth]

Ilya smiles weakly, just relieved that they are able to carry on like things are normal for a while. He glances over at Alina occasionally and notes how her face will, from time to time, go serious or blank before she apparently remembers that things are supposed to be upbeat and is attentive to what's going on again. This concerns him, but he's just too tired to worry about it too much.


"I've broken knuckles before too." Ilya says, nodding toward Jared. "Wasn't a wall though."


Alina grimaces, "Yeah, it was on this guy Joey's face. He called our sister, Sonja, Mail Order Bride... that was ugly. Our parents were afraid his family was going to press charges or something. I broke my collarbone and arm when I fell off our roof when I was thirteen."


Ilya laughs and shakes his head, "God you were so miserable when that happened. The entire left side of her torso was just like this massive sling. She had to completely change how she did everything, 'cause she's left-handed. It was sad to watch, but in a way that you can't really help but feel really amused by it." Her elbow digs into his side again lightly, "It's true! We had to wrap her entire arm and shoulder up in seran wrap just so she could shower-"


"We get it, Il." Ali says, voice harsh but she has a weak smile on her face to show that she isn't too terribly annoyed by it. "It did suck a lot though."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Hearing the words "seran wrap" and "shower" in connection with Alina automatically makes Jared's thoughts go to a place that are much more awkward and uncomfortable than he wants them to be, and he quickly looks down, hoping that his face isn't red or that no one is looking at him as he shifts uncomfortably beneath Leigh. Another all too unsettling possibility strikes him then as well of how she may in fact notice something else to indicate the direction of his thoughts, and he immediately begins to work to correct the situation, plastering into his thoughts every vision of every dead body he's encountered over the past several days.


This does the trick pretty quickly to sober him again, and his arm around Leigh relaxes as he can finally look up. Angelina's fingers are in her mouth again, he sees, her other hand still loosely gripping Alina's wrist, and as Jared struggles to come up with another topic to distract them with, Leigh gets straight to the point.


"I'm glad we're all still alive," she says simply but sincerely, looking back at Jared, then over to the other three to include them all. "I'm tired of seeing everyone dead...even the ones who want us to die too. I just...I just wish it would stop."

 

[pistolmouth]

"I just wish it would stop."


Alina sucks in a breath once Leigh is finished and scours her brain for anything that she can possibly say. Of course she agrees with the girl, of course she thinks that it needs to stop and she's glad that everyone's okay. How can she not? On the other hand, if this hadn't happened, she never would have met Jared, Leigh and Angelina.


Objectively, she knows that if they'd never met than it would have never made a difference, anyway. Life would just go on for her, for all of them. She would go on her set path into college, where she would probably study genetics and eventually spend all of her days in labs doing research that her family never really cared about. Ilya would probably go to a trade school and work on cars or whatever, Misha and Sasha would still be in grad school and Sonja would continue to tell her about all of her antics in college. It's a nice thought, but one that also upsets her.


Sonja is dead.


Misha and Sasha? Well, she doesn't know where they are, and the thought of them finding her is terrifying, as badly as she wants to know that they're okay.


"Me too, Leigh." Ilya says, his voice soft. From the corner of her eye, she notices the hesitant glance he aims her way, though she isn't sure why he's looking at her.


She doesn't know how to organize her thoughts enough to respond, or even express how grateful she is that it isn't just her and Ilya out here. Instead, she just gives her a wan smile and manages a small "Yeah." It falls silent again, and Alina's arm once again wraps itself around Angie, her chin coming to rest on top of her head. There has to be some way to keep things moving, to keep everything from going silent and giving her mind time to start cycling through all of the horrible things that have happened over the last few days. "Anybody know any games?"

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared too falls into silence at his sister's words, not trusting himself to respond to her. If he did, then she might hear an unsteadiness to his voice that he doesn't want to reveal to any of the others, or he might stumble over words that would not make a logical sentence. He closed his eyes briefly, lowering his face just enough so he hoped that Alina and Ilya would not see, and gave Leigh a brief squeeze meant to be comforting as he tried to think of how to reply.


But Ilya and Alina are doing so for him, and even Angelina nods very faintly, from beneath Alina's chin. She seems to be bonding well with the older girl, seeking out her comfort as though she considers her family now too, and Jared supposes this is good. If anything were to happen to him, then she would be okay with Alina and Ilya. They would both be-


No. No use thinking of that now, or ever.


He tries to think of a game, but Leigh beats him to it, tentative. "We could play truth or dare again...that was sort of fun."

 

[pistolmouth]

At the mention of truth or dare, Alina shifts uncomfortably and feels her cheeks heat up. Her only real saving grace is that it is dark, and hopefully the others can't see her blush if she's blushing at all. This, to Alina, is treading dangerously close to a territory that she's not sure she's ready to step into yet, especially considering that Leigh had threatened her with the dare of kissing Jared, which would infuriate Ilya should she decide to go for it again.


It's then that she notices just how closely Ilya is watching her and her stomach clenches ever so slightly. Does he know? How could he possibly know?


"I'm not sure if I'm up for that, just yet." She says finally, drawing in a quiet breath. "What about... god, I don't know." Her eyes flit between Ilya and Jared and Leigh, "I'm bad at this."


Ilya takes a deep breath and rubs his palms against his knees. Standing up, he walks over to the small pile of wood they'd collected for the fire and piles a few pieces onto it to keep it alive. "The only games I can think of need more people... like Red Rover and stuff. I guess tag, maybe, but that would mean we'd have to leave the campsite."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared has to agree with Leigh, though he doesn't voice it aloud. Truth or dare sounds like a terrible idea, a definite way to make things much more uncomfortable for them all...especially himself. He can only imagine what might happen if Leigh were to start in on him and Alina. She couldn't know what he thought about Alina, but she did know and see that they were the only two in the area who could conceivably have any sort of romantic activity with each other, and he had a feeling she'd take that and run with it.


Leigh sighs, disappointed by Alina turning down her suggestion, but only slightly. She is beginning to grow somewhat tired now, and as she leans back into Jared, she stifles a yawn. "Maybe...um...just truth? So we don't have to move?"


"No!" Angelina blurts with surprising firmness, and when both Jared and Leigh turn to look at her, she is shaking her head, her fingers now removed from her mouth as she sits up straighter in Alina's lap. "NO."


"You don't gotta talk if you don't want to, Angie," Leigh told her, but when Angelina shook her head again, eyes wide, Jared guessed the real reason for her refusal.


"We won't leave, Angie, no one's hiding," he told her. "You don't have to worry about that. No one's going anywhere."


(time skip? we need new plot direction, i think)

 

[pistolmouth]

The rain started two days after Peter's death. At first, it hadn't been that bad, really. A light sprinkle that eventually turned into a soft rain that, after about eight hours by Ilya's estimate, became borderline torrential downpour. Now, three days later, it seems like it's never going to stop. They've managed to keep themselves somewhat protected from the rain for a while, but after the first few hours of heavy rainfall, pretty much everything was soaked.


After the first day and a half, most of their supplies were ruined, and Ilya has started to get a little more worried about Alina, and whether her inhalers would hold up in the weather. He doesn't know if there's some sort of constant state they need to be kept in, never bothered to learn since he wasn't the one using them and Ali is the worst about picking off the stickers on them. She's done it since she was little, and they've always had to call into the doctor to have them fax the prescription to the pharmacy. They seem to be working fine, though, guessing by the way at which she uses them when she's awake.


He worries about the others, too. What if one of them gets sick? Can't you get pneumonia from being out in the rain, or is that just an old wives' tale? Either way, hypothermia is a very really concern, especially since they haven't been able to get a fire started and all of their clothes and blankets are soaked.


Alina's cough scares him out of his train of thought. It's the wheezy, croupy asthma cough that used to make Ilya nervous when they were little. Now, with the weather, it's bringing back the old anxiety all over again. When she stops, she's able to take in a deep breath and somehow stifle the wheezing enough to keep anyone from hearing it. In her sleep, though...


"We should... I think we need to cut our losses." Ilya says finally, looking around the group to ensure that they're all listening. "We can't stay here anymore."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared had been expecting this day to come. Actually, he was surprised they hadn't come to this conclusion sooner.


He had thought, for the first few hours of the rain, that surely it would die down soon enough. There wasn't typically a lot of rain in their area, and it wasn't as if they would be flooded out. In fact, as annoying as it would be to deal with, he was sort of glad. It would make it easier to be clean, he figured, would replenish their river with fresh water as well.


He had been dead wrong over that. The river overflowed and rushed so furiously that it would be dangerous for them to go in it for too long, as they might fall and hit their head, and as for being clean, the rain only created mud and muck that made this impossible. Their clothes and blankets were soaked through, and it would be impossible to sleep, even when Jared tried to make tents out of sheets to keep out some of the water and then simply to encourage his sisters to wrap up in them like a cocoon. No one was warm or dry enough, no one could be hungry in those conditions, and their food was ruined even if they were. Morale was very low, and most of the day not spent trying to salvage their supplies and maximize dryness was spent huddled together, shivering.


They could not last the night like this. They would wake up sick because of it; already Jared was worried about the girls, especially Alina. She was coughing and wheezing in a way that sounded very concerning, and none of them had any energy. Angelina was so small; how could she sit out in the rain for hours on end?


He had already been thinking of a way to approach the group with his worries when Ilya spoke up. Relieved, Jared looked up, giving a slow nod. He had Angelina huddled in his lap, his arm around her as he tried to surround her with his body, protecting her from as much dampness as possible, and his other arm circled around Leigh's shoulders, keeping her close as well even with the blanket wrapped around them. He could feel them both shivering continuously, and wondered if any of them would be able to walk at a fast enough pace, to run if needed, if they were to move on.


One look at Alina told him they at least better find out.


"I agree," he said finally. "We need to move on. We can't stay out here like this...and we can't bring most of this stuff either. So we need a new place to stay, new options...is it possible that Peter was lying about them burning down preschools and stuff? We ought to at least think of something to check out, and this time we can't split up. Not like this."

 

[pistolmouth]

The fact that they're talking now, after there being such a long stretch of quiet, was enough to push the chattering of Alina's teeth and the raw ache in her chest onto the back burner if only for a moment. Was it possible that there were places for them to stay? Was it possible that those places would even be safe? Another shiver rode hard up her back and she fought to suck in a breath through her nose, lungs cramping from the sudden expansion.


Anything had to be better than this.


Her arms tighten around her knees, which are pulled up to her chest as though that alone would keep her warm. Ilya's arm is around her, though his own body is so cold that it isn't doing much, and she feels bad that he's taking so much care of her that he's not doing much for himself.


Clenching her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering, from stuttering out her reply, Alina finds her voice and manages out a small, hoarse: "What if we went at night? It'd be safer in the dark, right? At least they might not see us then."


"It's possible." Ilya says, drawing in a breath of his own. "I don't know if we should go back to that high school though, since they might have known that he was there... we might be able to hit up Munroe? It's a little farther, but... I mean, it's better than what we've got now."