Viewpoint What's the scariest part about finding roleplay partners?

[Frownist]

I wouldn't say "scary" but something that is definitely hard is coming up with a plot, characters and all that stuff and then having that person ghost you. And then going through all of that again with a new person in hopes it won't end the same way.

Yeah, I’ve just started using this site and it’s already happened once. It’s very disheartening to say the least.

 

[houseplant]

For me it’s not making a connection. I alway want to have a connection with my partners, we don’t have to be friends but I love to chat OOC with them and get familiar. I feel like it’s just easier to bounce off them too when writing.

 

[-Random_Person-]

Post length expectation. I always see others put out multi-paragraph posts like it’s nothing, when I can only do about 1-2 paragraphs. Very intimidating, and makes me feel like I’m not putting in as much effort as I could, even though I am.

Second, similar to Goji, is when I finally put in the courage to make an intrest check, I alway worry if my idea is just dumb, or half-baked, or if it will just die before it even starts.

 

[FrostyDragon]

Everything!

I only really stop being scared of an RP when I've been writing with a partner for months.

It took me months to find the courage to post an interest check. I have issues accepting that I enjoy dark RPs, and was scared that I wouldn't find anyone who enjoyed the same type of dark as I do.

Then, when I did finally post an interest check and started getting messages from interested partners, there was the fear about whether they'd ghost me, or, even scarier, whether I'd feel we weren't a good match and have to drop out. This might be the scariest part for me - communicating with a partner when I'm just not enjoying it. I don't want to be the kinda partner that ghosts others. Knowing that I'm going to have to communicate my desire to leave makes me feel so anxious . I usually feel awful about it weeks after I've left an RP.

When I'm lucky enough to find a partner that I enjoy writing with, then the insecurity hits. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm scared I let them down. I'm scared they think my ideas are stupid or boring. Since I love dark RPs, I'm inevitably going to write dark things, and I get very, very scared that even though I've discussed triggers with my partner beforehand, I'm going to trigger them or make them uncomfortable.

Sometimes I wonder how on earth I manage to stick with this hobby. But I do, because the rewards are worth it. When I'm not terrified for one reason or another, I feel nothing but joy and gratitude for my partner and the RP we've made together.

 

[DragonSlayer57]

Group role plays getting toxic. I was still a fledgling role player when it happened, and i didnt know what to do. I thought it was their way of messing around, and while everyone was hating each other and taking sides, i realized it a tad bit too late. I was really sad to see our little friend group get destroyed by one person.

 

[Fauxtectual]

+ 1 to the drama. Had two situations that escalated into stalker-like behavior with past partners, and just cut off one of my partners of 16 years because I just got fed up with being treated like gum on the bottom of her shoe when I was going through the worst period of my life.

This is my first time coming back to look for an RP partner since probably 2018 or so, maybe ... Not really sure where to even start anymore; I tried hopping in a few Discord servers, but as soon as someone starts talking to me, I just feel so disconnected because I keep getting hit up by 19 year olds barely cutting their teeth on adulthood and I'm over here, an ancient old turtle, at 33 ... like. Man, I've been RPing for almost longer than you've been alive ... sobs.

 

[mogumogu]

Honestly, you never know if they'll stay with the rp and or have time

 

[boohooboone]

THE POTENTIAL JUDGING. I usually never judge roleplay partners- unless they’re a major creep but then i’ll end up telling them off and turning down or stopping the roleplay, but that hasn’t happened a lot. If i see a spelling mistake or an incorrect thing, maybe I’ll correct them, but I don’t want to feel like an arse so i’ll ignore it and just keep roleplaying. But most of the time, i am scared of how they are judging my paragraphs, my writing and my characters. usually that does happen to me a lot, either that or i can possibly get ghosted or something.

or when there’s a possibility that they’re just going to end up turning you down or ghosting you, i know it’s normal it just scares me

 

[saturnaliia]

gonna say something a bit controversial here but… when roleplayers have an aversion towards female ocs specifically… it rubs me off the wrong way
i get having preferences and all but man the prejudice is really evident sometimes ://

 

[Natasha4E]

gonna say something a bit controversial here but… when roleplayers have an aversion towards female ocs specifically… it rubs me off the wrong way
i get having preferences and all but man the prejudice is really evident sometimes ://

... Like female characters with a personality.

 

[saturnaliia]

... Like female characters with a personality.

hm?

 

[Sagey]

I used to be scared about all of it. I like really dark RP along with my comedy and at times SoL and whatnot, but it's not really easy to express what you like without being judged, especially if your RP is mainly focused in games such as WoW or FFXIV.

These days I'm not really scared about it. As I've gotten older I've learned to not care as much when it came to people's opinions or judgement. However, I have found the best way to know if someone works with you is OOC chatter. At this point, the only way I start RP with others is just chatting and eventually characters and rp get brought up. I want to know the person I potentially write with is communicative, responsive and overall has a good personality that meshes with my own.

 

[Megatron2024]

Personally, something I worry about when finding new roleplay partners is running into somebody I already know! I don't use the same username as my other social media etc, and I expect neither do a lot of the friends I know. Hopefully it never happens to me! Or, if it does, that it is a good experience.
What scares you the most??

well most experienced roleplayers only care about themselves often leading to unwanted drama in ooc forums over little thing.
also, maybe, if this counts: being ghosted......

 

[Megatron2024]

THE POTENTIAL JUDGING. I usually never judge roleplay partners- unless they’re a major creep but then i’ll end up telling them off and turning down or stopping the roleplay, but that hasn’t happened a lot. If i see a spelling mistake or an incorrect thing, maybe I’ll correct them, but I don’t want to feel like an arse so i’ll ignore it and just keep roleplaying. But most of the time, i am scared of how they are judging my paragraphs, my writing and my characters. usually that does happen to me a lot, either that or i can possibly get ghosted or something.

or when there’s a possibility that they’re just going to end up turning you down or ghosting you, i know it’s normal it just scares me

thats the way most roleplayers are on this site. so I am not the only one who notices and called it out?

 

[Megatron2024]

posting an interest check and no one replying D: my absolute biggest nightmare… which has unfortunately become true in the past

That happens here..... sometimes people are not interested in what you want to roleplay: more-so in 1x1.....

 

[boohooboone]

thats the way most roleplayers are on this site. so I am not the only one who notices and called it out?

I’m new to this site so to be honest i wouldn’t really know lmao

 

[cherrycosmosx]

My biggest fear has to be that I don’t understand how to do coding! I see some amazing posts i’m really interested in but since I cannot code to save my life I end up not answering to them. It makes me feel like i’ve not got enough experience for it.

 

[nerdy tangents]

thats the way most roleplayers are on this site. so I am not the only one who notices and called it out?

Not sure which part your agreeing with but yes a majority of people on this site are very insecure and judgemental of their own writing.

If your worried about other people judging your writing your way less likely to run into that. I have been on this site for eight years and I can probably name at most 5 people who are genuinely judgmental of other people’s writing. Of those five I think off the top of my head only two of them are still active.

Now I do 1x1s exclusively so the number may be different in groups.

The majority of the time it’s people who are bad at boundaries or real life getting in the way that kills roleplays.

The latter is my downfall a lot. I am in my later thirties and work full time, so I get a lot of real life things popping up that force me to leave a roleplay early. The washer stops working, I strain my shoulder, my mom decides she randomly wants to go on holiday so I have to babysit the dogs.

I’m lucky that I have found some pretty patient partners when understand that life happens and you can’t always predict it. But it still sucks to get excited by an idea and then real life crashes around you.

So yeah the thing I’m always most afraid of personally isn’t being judged or even lack of boundaries (I’m on the older end of the site demographic so I’m not afraid of getting firm with you young whippersnappers)

It’s just “oh dang the internet crapped out, quick gotta send an update to all my partners.”