Viewpoint What's the scariest part about finding roleplay partners?

[Idea]

I

I think you will be fine, I know its not impossible but sounds extremely unlikely I would let it get you down

I wouldn’t go as far as to say “extremely” unlikely, though definitely unlikely.

Either way, I don’t let it get me down. I’m talking about what frightens me. This is a possibility that frightens me. But it’s not as though it stops me searching for partners or anything, and I usually consider my present drama-avoiding policies to be generally enough caution.

 

[LostHero]

We all have our fears. That is just normal human behavior.

 

[nerdy tangents]

oh no! I think I understand the scenario. Personally I struggle sometimes with this as I have medical issues that sometimes mean I am unable to tell anybody that I can't talk for a while. Its a real struggle, but I always do my best!

My suggestion is to actually allow for random disappearances up front.

If your not comfortable talking about your medical issues just tell your partner “my schedule is really random so there might be two week stretches when I am not on. I haven’t dropped the roleplay I’m just busy.”

Because a lot of times all your partner needs is realistic expectations. Most folks are fine with adjusting for real life as long as they know it’s an issue.

And anyone who throws a fit and expects you to clock in like this is a job is a shitty partner anyway.

 

[LostHero]

My suggestion is to actually allow for random disappearances up front.

If your not comfortable talking about your medical issues just tell your partner “my schedule is really random so there might be two week stretches when I am not on. I haven’t dropped the roleplay I’m just busy.”

Because a lot of times all your partner needs is realistic expectations. Most folks are fine with adjusting for real life as long as they know it’s an issue.

And anyone who throws a fit and expects you to clock in like this is a job is a shitty partner anyway.

realistic expectations is correct. Not enough people have that. *Cough cough*

 

[nerdy tangents]

realistic expectations is correct. Not enough people have that. *Cough cough*

I was actually talking about more of setting yourself up for success by just allowing for some breathing room between replies.

Like no one is ever going to have access to this site every single day. We all have a life and sometimes things pop up that mean you might not be online as much.

So just telling your partners up front “hey if I haven’t replied for two weeks don’t panic I’m probably just busy.” is really helpful.

Because it doesn’t put pressure on you to always be available all the time but it also lets your partner know that if you randomly disappear it’s not personal

 

[LostHero]

I know you don't know me but i am MORE then fair and gentleman like. Never do I pressure my RP friends to do ANYTHING. PERIOD. lol. If I had to guess.. My alerts are constantly blowing up with hearts for a reason lol

 

[Daisie]

I know you don't know me but i am MORE then fair and gentleman like. Never do I pressure my RP friends to do ANYTHING. PERIOD. lol. If I had to guess.. My alerts are constantly blowing up with hearts for a reason lol

I don't think they were criticizing you, lol, just speaking generally

 

[nerdy tangents]

I don't think they were criticizing you, lol, just speaking generally

Yeah I meant the general you lol.

It’s mostly just a thing I have started trying to do with more regularity and it really lowers the stress in roleplays.

 

[Daisie]

Yeah I meant the general you lol.

It’s mostly just a thing I have started trying to do with more regularity and it really lowers the stress in roleplays.

Oh yeah definitely. It's pretty relieving to take the pressure off of yourself to reply every time you have a free moment. Even if you're not busy in real life, or you don't have any serious medical issue, I feel like that buffer is really helpful.

"I don't want to right now" is a totally valid reason to put off replying for a little while. I am well acquainted with the whole self-guilt-trip dance lolol. It's not worth it.

 

[LostHero]

I appreciate the feedback. I have taken into consideration these factors, I can tell you know what our talking about. But I guess I'm fine with my current path.
Unless someone comes at me multiple times is a rude way I'm always nice. And am happy I joined this site. Like my profile says. I can be a kitten or a tiger.

 

[Daisie]

I appreciate the feedback. I have taken into consideration these factors, I can tell you know what our talking about. But I guess I'm fine with my current path.
Unless someone comes at me multiple times is a rude way I'm always nice. And am happy I joined this site. Like my profile says. I can be a kitten or a tiger.

I'm afraid you've lost me, lol. But I'm glad you're enjoying yourself here on Rpn, anyways.

 

[LostHero]

lmao I don't even remember saying any of this so I'm just as confused lmao XD

Wow what kind of conversation is this I'm dying laughing right now

 

[WolfSol]

In my opinion, the scariest part can be the downfall and the aftermath. I have no problem with being rejected or RPers ghosting me; however, sometimes RPs don't end so easily or nicely when they need to. I once acquired a follower of sorts that, when their account got banned, that continued to try and reach me through various fake and "friend" accounts. Also had an individual get mad at me when I politely said I could not continue because their posting did not make sense and made me uncomfortable (they later blamed me and other RP partners for their problems). It was probably one of the most uncomfortable RPs I'd ever been in. Lastly, had a partner that would watch my activity status like a hawk, and if I did not reply or react a few minutes after their reply, I'd get pinged.

It can be scary, but I've learned from my experiences. There are certainly measures that can be applied to help it be less scary. Most of it boils down to communication, being able to say "no, but thanks", open-mindedness, and ensuring that what you want private stays private as far as activity or whatever else goes.

 

[StrawberryAvalanche]

I am always afraid of getting involved in drama with people because of a small disagreement. I had one ex-roleplay partner really do this for me. She wanted something very graphic and actually against Amino's terms of service and that individual amino's rules. (I know, it's that bad if it's against the cesspit of amino). When I told her no, she threw a hissy-fit and threatened to harm herself if I didn't. As someone who has loved ones that struggle with self harm, it was completely disgusting and very offensive. I blocked her (and she was banned!) but since then I get nervous when reaching out to new role-play partners. But I have been blessed by coming back to here full time and people are actually really chill, so when it comes to here, it's reaching out to people and seeing whether I get a response, LOL.

 

[Sorin]

I am always afraid of getting involved in drama with people because of a small disagreement. I had one ex-roleplay partner really do this for me. She wanted something very graphic and actually against Amino's terms of service and that individual amino's rules. (I know, it's that bad if it's against the cesspit of amino). When I told her no, she threw a hissy-fit and threatened to harm herself if I didn't. As someone who has loved ones that struggle with self harm, it was completely disgusting and very offensive. I blocked her (and she was banned!) but since then I get nervous when reaching out to new role-play partners. But I have been blessed by coming back to here full time and people are actually really chill, so when it comes to here, it's reaching out to people and seeing whether I get a response, LOL.

Was this a common experience on Amino or something? I had the exact same experience, though with a male identifying user, who threatened me for reporting them. The Staff of that particular Amino just didn't care either, so I just noped out after like a week or two.

 

[StrawberryAvalanche]

Was this a common experience on Amino or something? I had the exact same experience, though with a male identifying user, who threatened me for reporting them. The Staff of that particular Amino just didn't care either, so I just noped out after like a week or two.

Oh my god. Yeah I think it was. I was on there for about 6 and a half years. I'm not on Amino anymore to roleplay, just goof with my friends that are left on there and maybe reference an old character sheet of mine. Why are scary experiences like this so common on there???

 

[Sorin]

An actual answer to the question: myself.

I'm a very picky writer, I'm aware, and I usually either want to immediately write with someone or not. It all depends on whether or not we vibe. You get a good sense of that early into the writing process, but I also always have a hard time telling someone that I'm just not feeling it. I'm a very difficult person to write with, I feel like, because of my ADHD and anxiety often working against me, so I really need writing buddies who are buddies first and writers next. That way, if I'm feeling my focus slip, we can talk about an alternative plot in the meantime. Without finding people who are patient with me, I often get overwhelmed with interest checks I put out there and I struggle to fall through. I really hate that I keep doing this and I'm trying to hold myself accountable here. I just want another good friend who is also a good Roleplaying friend, but I'm just having a hard time clicking with folks. I've really considered quitting the hobby, but I'm trying my best to soldier through anyway!

Oh my god. Yeah I think it was. I was on there for about 6 and a half years. I'm not on Amino anymore to roleplay, just goof with my friends that are left on there and maybe reference an old character sheet of mine. Why are scary experiences like this so common on there???

I always got the impression that the Staff of individual Aminos were pretty young (I was too when I used it), so that may have been a contributing factor.

 

[waterskine]

Having to actually message people and worry about what sort of impression I'm giving off. Brrr! @__@

 

[Yunalescaa]

For me, it's finding people who understand I'm chronically ill and I can't really dedicate all my time to roleplay. I have so many spoons for the day and sometimes I gotta put them all into surviving work or getting my chores done, like laundry, dishes, making dinner, etc. I always worry people will see me dedicating some time to doing things like just dumping something in a one off forum and think I'm ignoring them or I'm not interested. I can't always sit down after work and dedicate the time I want to for writing for our RP, especially if we're writing well into 750-1000 words. Some nights I wanna browse the advice thread and then go to sleep. I've had way too many people take my personal health personally. They end up disengaging all together or blocking me. Even with people who said they didn't mind but decided later that wasn't really the case.

 

[Kveykva]

as someone who leans more towards 1x1 roleplay rather than groups (i lack the time to keep up with a group roleplay), the first dm to a potential partner.

i don't know if there's like some secret formula for messaging somebody about their rp search, but i swear every time i do it, i do it wrong. i write too much info, i give too little, i have too much enthusiasm, i have the wrong ideas, it's always something. i usually trying to start off with a brief introduction and then lead into what i saw in the search that interested me, just to test the waters to see if the person i messaged is still open to said thing. 90% of the time i don't hear anything back and 8% of the time we exchange a few messages before silence. i've tried giving a more detailed introduction, i've tried making it very short or taking it out altogether. i've tried offering writing samples or even including them in the initial dm. i've tried including more or less information about plots or potential ideas i've come up with to go along with what i'm looking for, but i don't know the right way to do it. maybe i just come off too strongly to most people, who knows.

 

[Yunalescaa]

as someone who leans more towards 1x1 roleplay rather than groups (i lack the time to keep up with a group roleplay), the first dm to a potential partner.

I swear its different on every website too. Some places I've roleplayed, people want these long introductions and every idea you've ever had. Some just want you to get right to the point. It's different everywhere you go I feel.

 

[PhoenixMire]

For me, it's finding people who understand I'm chronically ill and I can't really dedicate all my time to roleplay. I have so many spoons for the day and sometimes I gotta put them all into surviving work or getting my chores done, like laundry, dishes, making dinner, etc. I always worry people will see me dedicating some time to doing things like just dumping something in a one off forum and think I'm ignoring them or I'm not interested. I can't always sit down after work and dedicate the time I want to for writing for our RP, especially if we're writing well into 750-1000 words. Some nights I wanna browse the advice thread and then go to sleep. I've had way too many people take my personal health personally. They end up disengaging all together or blocking me. Even with people who said they didn't mind but decided later that wasn't really the case.

Heyyyy fellow chronically ill person. I know exactly what you mean. At this point in my life I’m physically unable to work, so I have a tonnnn of spare time to RP lol, but sometimes I use my spoons on eating meals through the day, taking a shower, taking my needed supplements and electrolytes, trying to help my parents around the house, etc. Then I’ll get hit with brain fog and suddenly it’s very very hard to reply to anything. My spoons are so random too - lately I’ve had good energy for RP and am replying to stuff super consistently, but then other times I get exhausted and need a week or more to recharge, and then my RP partners feel frustrated I’m not replying and it’s like… I WANT to, I just can’t

As for me though - I think my biggest fear for RP is getting involved in some kind of drama. I am not the kind of person who wants drama, so I don’t often find it, but sometimes it comes to me anyway. I just wanna vibe and RP, not have someone attack me for this reason or that.

 

[GrumpySwallow]

I don't find the search for RP partners to be particularly scary, but it is a pain in the ass when the folks I'm RPing with take things way too seriously and fail to understand that we're playing Virtual Barbie, and go out of their way to hurt people because the other person didn't play Virtual Barbie the way they wanted them too.

 

[Abyss]

Starting up a conversation is the hardest part for me, especially when it comes to 1x1 requests. I've been thinking about putting up a request thread or responding to the ones that catch my attention, but overall I find it really hard to put my ideas out there when it comes down to it. I'm usually pretty ok when it comes to expressing interest in group RPs, but sometimes that is really hard too. I've got pretty bad social anxiety, and sometimes it's hard to work up the courage to start a conversation, even online. That said I do love talking to people OOC.

 

[Vance_Meridian]

Putting my heart and soul into a story with someone, spending hours and days thinking of how I'll reply or what my characters would do or how they would react, listening to inspiring music while thinking of scenarios, writing paragraphs together and getting invested in these characters to one day be met with silence and nothing. It makes it difficult to get emotionally invested in stories when ghosting happens often and it's so disappointing to think about.