Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[iMeisaki]

View attachment 626648

I wish I could dislike a comment lmao. I mean they were trying to help you to show you that it's not your fault and not be discouraged lmao -- I understand this gif is supposed to be comical I guess but it's coming across as rude. This is the stuff I hate to see on forums, it sucks it's happening on mine.

 

[Qwebs]

I wish I could dislike a comment lmao. I mean they were trying to help you to show you that it's not your fault and not be discouraged lmao -- I understand this gif is supposed to be comical I guess but it's coming across as rude. This is the stuff I hate to see on forums, it sucks it's happening on mine.

I didn't see anything wrong with their reply, but maybe that's just me. Like you said, it was supposed to be comical and it was, it just seems that people get offended by the slightest things nowadays that aren't meant to offend them at all.

 

[Daisie]

Let's all let things go here, folks. c: Just a simple miscommunication. No one's trying to hurt anyone here, and it shall stay that way so long as we remain cordial. Let's keep RpN a kind and caring community.

 

[iMeisaki]

Look I’m sorry if I’ve offended you or them with my bad humor. Honestly to me it felt more like they were calling me out for being unable to understand other people have lives outside of the Rp. I was not trying to be rude- but I guess I will delete my comments before I get attacked for ‘starting something’. I’m sorry again for coming off as ‘rude’ - I guess they were right, I take things too personally.

Oh god I didnt want this to seem as an attack, I apologize if it seemed that way!

However, rae2nerdy is very nice (at least from my own personal experience) and from reading their comments to help you, it didnt seem like they were calling you out. It was a generalization of the whole situation as why as trying to relate themselves to know they were in your shoes at one point.

You dont need to delete the comment I never said to, I was rather surprised that you took it the wrong way. Again, I'm not attacking you and I dont want you to think of it that way.

I didn't see anything wrong with their reply, but maybe that's just me. Like you said, it was supposed to be comical and it was, it just seems that people get offended by the slightest things nowadays that aren't meant to offend them at all.

It's not that I got harshly offended though, I just think it wasnt very appropriate to insert a gif (yes it was funny but not really fit for the situation). Its like biting the hand that feeds you, it just -- Ugh it was overall dumb and I know rae2nerdy could fend and talk for themselves but I wanted to address it because it's my forum.

 

[iMeisaki]

Let's all let things go here, folks. c: Just a simple miscommunication. No one's trying to hurt anyone here, and it shall stay that way so long as we remain cordial. Let's keep RpN a kind and caring community.

Yes, I understand that! It is staying cordial.. I'm not entirely sure why that's being brought up for this situation when someone called me a dick pages back. It was a simple miscommunication and I'm trying to explain that--

 

[Daisie]

Yes, I understand that! It is staying cordial.. I'm not entirely sure why that's being brought up for this situation when someone called me a dick pages back. It was a simple miscommunication and I'm trying to explain that--

I know. Thank you for remaining kind. I'm helping to keep the peace alongside you to thus prevent another unpleasant situation.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Certainly I wasn't trying to start anything. If anything I was just bringing up a rather common issue we all face during our roleplay experience. We all start out in a place of insecurity and just eventually reach a point where we grow out of it. If anything I hoped that illustrating my journey would show how no one is alone in feeling frustrated or like they aren't good enough. Literally everyone feels that way. And since we can't ALL be horrible roleplayers who know one likes than more often the situation is just insecurity.

I mean certainly your allowed to be angry that someone ditched you. But I was just saying you don't have to feel like it's your fault.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I guess a pet peeve of mine would be players who create practically invincible characters. I tend to role-play action/adventure. I think people are afraid of making their characters fail, but failure is important for growth. People who don't allow their characters to get hurt both physically and emotionally make me scream.

I actually don't like role plays with real face claims, but that seems to be popular here, so I have no choice. For one there's rarely any diversity just the same recycled k-pop celebrities and blondes.

Another thing that bugs me is when people overly exaggerate their characters look, like we get it they are good looking.

There are a few sites that can give you diverse characters. The first three are public domain sites that have decent key word searches.
www.unsplash.com
www.pexels.com
www.pixabay.com
This Person Does Not Exist (this one just randomly generated pictures of people)

That said yeah I hate it when people try to make their character attractive but all they really do is just show you what they find hot. I'm like maybe make your character some acne covered fat teen. I promise my character won't hang them for being ugly and will still date them. Cuz they mostly aren't super shallow assholes.

 

[iMeisaki]

There are a few sites that can give you diverse characters. The first three are public domain sites that have decent key word searches.
www.unsplash.com
www.pexels.com
www.pixabay.com
This Person Does Not Exist (this one just randomly generated pictures of people)

That said yeah I hate it when people try to make their character attractive but all they really do is just show you what they find hot. I'm like maybe make your character some acne covered fat teen. I promise my character won't hang them for being ugly and will still date them. Cuz they mostly aren't super shallow assholes.

I'm bookmarking these sites RIGHT now because I'll take like 2-6 hours finding perfect pictures for my characters. I dont really use REAL pictures for my characters but definitely not anime-- I'll use hyper realistic pictures.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I'm bookmarking these sites RIGHT now because I'll take like 2-6 hours finding perfect pictures for my characters. I dont really use REAL pictures for my characters but definitely not anime-- I'll use hyper realistic pictures.

There is this for a more realistic anime maker Live Portrait Maker by Angela He. There is a male version but it's an app.

 

[norway]

There’s a few things but here’s the recent one.

Being judged because I don’t write anything outside of M x F. I have politely explained that I have no experience with anything else and am already bad enough at writing romance in general, but if we have it I’d prefer it to be Hetero because that’s my comfort level. And I’ve been responded to very curtly, someone actually told me it “wasn’t ancient Chinese history” which led me to believe they were more offended by my own inability to write something than they were understanding that I didn’t want to do something I didn’t understand an injustice. I dislike it when anyone has to apologize for their pairing preferences be it gay bi or straight — it’s your right, your talent or lack of, and I don’t think you should ever be made to feel bad for anything. I’d rather someone politely decline the offer based off a lack of interest instead of being made to feel bad cause I’d rather write one thing than the other.

I respect everyone’s preferences entirely. I just know when my dumb ass can’t pull something off I’m not about to promise it to another human being and ruin their pairing >.> what if I came in writing about the struggles of a particular minority when I did not come from a place of understanding for that? I think that would be offensive to some and I’d rather not open that can. I am a minority myself, but I still don’t know someone’s lifestyle compared to my own and I’m not about to write about attractions and certain sacrifices like I know exactly what it’s like. Further more I’m demisexual and have only met one person that introduced me to those emotions so, again I’m bad at romance in general lol.

 

[Tove]

Something that bugs me when I'm doing an opener or the first few posts for a roleplay is if I've gone through introducing my character, set up the world, place, etc, and leave the end open for a partner to come in without any trouble they will have their character somewhere entirely different and in some impossible situation where meeting(because the plot does involve them meeting)becomes a chore in itself.
Not only that, the next posts they write still involve their character being so out of reach I have to spend my time figuring out ways for my character to get to them because they sure as heck aren't trying to get the ball rolling.

It's especially annoying if a conversation has to take place between the two characters and the one in question is trapped in another dimension only accessible by finding the four keys of light.

 

[rae2nerdy]

There’s a few things but here’s the recent one.

Being judged because I don’t write anything outside of M x F. I have politely explained that I have no experience with anything else and am already bad enough at writing romance in general, but if we have it I’d prefer it to be Hetero because that’s my comfort level. And I’ve been responded to very curtly, someone actually told me it “wasn’t ancient Chinese history” which led me to believe they were more offended by my own inability to write something than they were understanding that I didn’t want to do something I didn’t understand an injustice. I dislike it when anyone has to apologize for their pairing preferences be it gay bi or straight — it’s your right, your talent or lack of, and I don’t think you should ever be made to feel bad for anything. I’d rather someone politely decline the offer based off a lack of interest instead of being made to feel bad cause I’d rather write one thing than the other.

I respect everyone’s preferences entirely. I just know when my dumb ass can’t pull something off I’m not about to promise it to another human being and ruin their pairing >.> what if I came in writing about the struggles of a particular minority when I did not come from a place of understanding for that? I think that would be offensive to some and I’d rather not open that can. I am a minority myself, but I still don’t know someone’s lifestyle compared to my own and I’m not about to write about attractions and certain sacrifices like I know exactly what it’s like. Further more I’m demisexual and have only met one person that introduced me to those emotions so, again I’m bad at romance in general lol.

I think it's in how it's presented. A lot of time when people talk about "I can't play a character whose life experiences I haven't lived." It makes it seem like they are asking their partners to do something they aren't willing to do themselves. Because those exact same people are going to want their partner to do the exact thing they aren't willing to do.

They are going to want their partner to play a gender/sexuality/ethnicity/etc. that might not line up with their partners lived experience. But it's totally fine that the partner has to do that because that means that the requester doesn't have to go out of their comfort zone.

I personally am not heterosexual nor am I a man. But I have to play heterosexual males (and occasionally homosexual males) in pairings all the time. And while I certainly don't mind expanding my writing skills to characters with different experiences. I also find it frustrating when the reason I have to do this is because my partner won't try to expand their own horizons.

So I think a lot of times it's not about being made at people for their preferences. I don't think most people honestly care if you only play one gender or you only like one type of sexuality. I think what makes people angry is the feeling that they're being taken advantage of.

(Not saying your intentionally trying to take advantage of people or anything like that. Just trying to give the opposite perspective. I know that's kind of how I feel sometimes when I see people who are very firm about playing one gender/pairing because of "lived experiences.")

 

[Qwebs]

It's especially annoying if a conversation has to take place between the two characters and the one in question is trapped in another dimension only accessible by finding the four keys of light.

lmao

 

[ashwynne]

Carrying the plot.
A common one to vent about but this one is just bugging me today for whatever reason.
I absolutely DESPISE not being given anything to work with. Like...a roleplay is pretty easy ultimately, pretty formulaic.

- I write a post with my character doing something and then end it with something pertaining to their character (be it dialogue, action, or something situational that their character needs to respond to).
- They then respond to whatever it was I set up and forward the action by giving me and my character something I need to respond to.
- Repeat

HOWEVER, I've had it where people don't do that last part in step 2. They reply to whatever it is I've written as far as it pertains to their character and that's it. It just rubs me the wrong way... like I'm putting in all this effort to collaborate and they just use what I put out there without reciprocating. If I want to do all the work myself I'll work on my own book lol, that's not what I RP for. It just feels selfish and frustrating, saps all the joy out of it for me. Occasionally, it can be sort of necessary, especially if you're further into an RP where the characters kind of need to go their own way for a post or two, but when it's constantly like that it just kills me.

 

[norway]

I think it's in how it's presented. A lot of time when people talk about "I can't play a character whose life experiences I haven't lived." It makes it seem like they are asking their partners to do something they aren't willing to do themselves. Because those exact same people are going to want their partner to do the exact thing they aren't willing to do.

They are going to want their partner to play a gender/sexuality/ethnicity/etc. that might not line up with their partners lived experience. But it's totally fine that the partner has to do that because that means that the requester doesn't have to go out of their comfort zone.

I personally am not heterosexual nor am I a man. But I have to play heterosexual males (and occasionally homosexual males) in pairings all the time. And while I certainly don't mind expanding my writing skills to characters with different experiences. I also find it frustrating when the reason I have to do this is because my partner won't try to expand their own horizons.

So I think a lot of times it's not about being made at people for their preferences. I don't think most people honestly care if you only play one gender or you only like one type of sexuality. I think what makes people angry is the feeling that they're being taken advantage of.

(Not saying your intentionally trying to take advantage of people or anything like that. Just trying to give the opposite perspective. I know that's kind of how I feel sometimes when I see people who are very firm about playing one gender/pairing because of "lived experiences.")

Yeah and I totally get that too, my point is for me personally I’m never like So can you just play a MALE FOR MY FEMALE I’m just like hey dude if you’re not liking the idea you are not obligated to stay. Totally cool. But please tell me instead of belittling me for being true to myself just like you’re true to yourself by not wanting to write my pairing. I’ve never asked someone wanting otherwise to do my pairing anyways, ever. I just decide we want different things and there’s so so so many people on here who prefer LGBTQ I always figure everyone’s taken care of in that way. My other pet peeve would be the female only writers looking for males, cause that’s not so much writing imo as it is wanting fulfillment for an actual personal issue but. Ya know. That’s a biased viewpoint from years of exposure so I can’t say that as fact. Just from annoyance. Lol.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Yeah and I totally get that too, my point is for me personally I’m never like So can you just play a MALE FOR MY FEMALE I’m just like hey dude if you’re not liking the idea you are not obligated to stay. Totally cool. But please tell me instead of belittling me for being true to myself just like you’re true to yourself by not wanting to write my pairing. I’ve never asked someone wanting otherwise to do my pairing anyways, ever. I just decide we want different things and there’s so so so many people on here who prefer LGBTQ I always figure everyone’s taken care of in that way. My other pet peeve would be the female only writers looking for males, cause that’s not so much writing imo as it is wanting fulfillment for an actual personal issue but. Ya know. That’s a biased viewpoint from years of exposure so I can’t say that as fact. Just from annoyance. Lol.

As I said I was just pointing out the different perspective. As a non-straight woman who frankly doesn't like romance to begin with. It can be frustrating when I'm always asked to bend over backwards to fulfill my partners romantic needs and no one takes any time to ask me what MY needs are.

 

[ashwynne]

With regards to the above conversation... I don't see why this is a problem in the first place.

If someone states in their search thread that they're looking for a specific style of pairing and it's not my cup of tea I don't contact them. If I do contact them but don't like the pairing they're looking for then that is my problem, not theirs. No one is obligated to reply to someone's search thread. If, in the course of discussion, the topic of pairings come up and your preferences don't align, well, it sucks but at least you're sorting that out now rather than getting to it in the RP and finding yourselves at an impasse 15 pages in.

Frankly, I think anyone who tries to belittle or criticize someone for their pairing preference is not someone anyone should waste their time on. Regardless of what the orientation is. No one should be 'scared' or 'nervous' to say they only play M x F pairings and they certainly shouldn't have to justify it. I'm hetero and if I'm going to have romance in my RP I want it to be a kind that aligns with my own preferences. Partially because I'm better at writing it, but mostly because it's what I connect to best. Same goes for people who prefer M x M or F x F or whatever else. The thought of people being critical about that just infuriates me lol. We're all here to write stories that we enjoy with other people who enjoy the same things. You don't see people railing on anyone for preferring to RP in a fantasy universe vs. a realistic depiction of the Wild West, but at its base level it's the exact same concept--a preference for a story you're looking to write with someone else.

A partner who always makes you compromise to fit what they want is probably not a good partner imo. I won't stick around and write with people who don't do things 50/50, it's not fair to either one of us. I'd much rather wait and look for a partner who matches up well with me, those are the ones that are going to last.

edit; if I seem overly aggressive it's just because I'm cranky today lol. No offense intended to anyone in case this came across overly abrasive.

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

This is brief and very, very dumb. It is here for you to point and laugh and call me a dingaling (which... duh! Bells!).

Today I am angrypants because I was separating eggs and I got yolk in the goddamn egg whites. So I ended up with a huge omelet as well as cheddar cheese soufflé. Dammit, one can only eat so many eggs in a sitting!! I am going to be fartin' for a month! I need an egg separator.

 

[iMeisaki]

This is brief and very, very dumb. It is here for you to point and laugh and call me a dingaling (which... duh! Bells!).

Today I am angrypants because I was separating eggs and I got yolk in the goddamn egg whites. So I ended up with a huge omelet as well as cheddar cheese soufflé. Dammit, one can only eat so many eggs in a sitting!! I am going to be fartin' for a month! I need an egg separator.

Haha, I enjoyed reading this -- Thank you for sharing even though it doesn't relate to rp problems!

 

[Bells of Nevermore]

Haha, I enjoyed reading this -- Thank you for sharing even though it doesn't relate to rp problems!

Gonna tell you a seeeekrit in PMs!!

 

[Tove]

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it somewhere around here but in order to get to my point of annoyance, I'll mention it again. So, I had this thing back when I actively roleplayed where if someone chose a plot or idea from my RT, we brainstormed on it, I would be happy to get the opener written up no problem because 99 percent of the time I have a character of mine set and some of the world as well as the plot. Now if we went the route of choosing a plot or idea of my partner's, I would want them to do the opener because it is their plot/idea they have something established and I want to see the world they were trying to create.

With that said, what grinds my gears, and before I get into it I don't mind waiting for a partner to write up their opener. You can't rush. I would rather wait for something worthwhile instead of a post that's clearly rushed for the sake of getting out rapid fire posts. My thing is you give people time because they say they need it and yet they have a lot of time to post to other things. I'm not calling this ghosting or having a lack of patience. In other places, I had one partner that was supposed to do an opener but told me she needed time which was more than fine I didn't ask her anything beyond that. It took her two months to get the opener up meanwhile she posted to various other roleplays, sought out new roleplays, and even sent me messages to say she was working on the opener. Of course I didn't respond to her or the eventual opener having lost interest but my thing to wrap this up is if you know you have a starting post to do for someone actually do it otherwise don't waste anyone's time especially if you are going to write to other things. I personally don't like having several roleplays where I know some of them I have to do starters for and I'm not doing them for the sake of replying elsewhere.

 

[rae2nerdy]

ashwynne I think there is a difference between being critical and harassing others. I absolutely thing you don't have the right to harass someone or be an asshole to them just because they like XYZ. It's not your business and no one is forcing you to roleplay with them.

That said I think that people being upset by certain themes and critical of their use is also totally fine. For instance I hate when people romanticize abuse/pedophilia/mental illness in their pairing based roleplays. It's something I am strongly critical of because I know people who have experienced those things IRL and their stories aren't something that should be sanitized for the sake of drama.

And absolutely I will say that I think people shouldn't be able to romanticize those themes in roleplays because I feel like it makes light of real people's life experiences. If you want to roleplay something like that you should treat it respectfully and actually explore the consequences of mental illness/abuse/pedophilia on a person's psyche and interpersonal relationships. It shouldn't be something that is resolved in a handful of posts through the magical power of love or whatever. And I will stay fighting on this hill because it matters to me.

That said if someone asks me to do those themes in a roleplay I don't go off a twenty minute rant about how they're a garbage human who should never roleplay again. I will very calmly and respectfully explain why I find that particular theme uncomfortable and won't roleplay it. The other person is always very respectful in return and will either quietly exit the roleplay OR will work together with me to come up with a version of the plot that we can both be comfortable with.

No one sets out to make a preference that makes other people uncomfortable. But I think at the same time it's important that you understand there are people who have a different lived experience with something that might have a legitimate reason for being angry about it. That it's not all just people being assholes or mean for the sake of it.

 

[ashwynne]

rae2nerdy
We were specifically talking about orientation preferences when it came to pairings so that’s what I was replying to, not to controversial preferences. That’s a different ballgame.

Obviously, in cases where the subject matter is sensitive/taboo/questionable in general there is a right to be critical... though I still don’t think this gives anyone a right to PM someone explicitly to complain about the content of their search thread. And if you read the search thread, see that stuff, contact the person anyways and end up criticizing them about it... well, I think that’s reflective of you.
Far better to contact someone on staff to mention it if the content is questionable. I feel it’s incredibly unlikely that a berating PM, even if kindly worded, is going to change any minds/opinions about things like RPing mental illness etc. It ends up being more for self-congratulating on fighting for some moral high ground rather than actually shutting down an inappropriate topic. Not always, but often.

Now... if they mention this in PM during discussion about an RP you’ve already been planning on setting up then that’s a different story. I still don’t think being critical is going to have a positive impact, but it’s justified in that case at least since the topic comes up in a natural conversation.

People are free to be angry about whatever they’d like, I’m not the thought police lol, but the reverse is true for people with their story preferences. My one and only point here is that actively going after someone for what’s in their search thread (or setting them up by sending a PM as if you’re interested only to berate them) is completely awful and unacceptable. If they’re asking for something really questionable (let’s say pedophilia) then staff should be contacted, it shouldn’t turn into a personal mission to convince them they’re wrong.

And again... this is within the scope of search threads. Someone bringing it up in a PM conversation is a different ballgame.
Also don’t think it needs to be said but obviously this is all a general usage of ‘you,’ not personal.

 

[rae2nerdy]

rae2nerdy

And my point is that you do not have to berate someone to give them constructive criticism. A lot of times that distinction ends up getting missed when people start talking about stuff like this. They act like any and all criticism has to be of the "Your a garbage person for doing X" variety.

But you can absolutely bring up a concern you have to someone in a way that is respectful to that person and also makes your own viewpoint heard. Which is what I did previously with the whole gender/sexuality thing.

There is a big difference between saying :

1. People who only write characters who share their life experience are lazy and unimaginative.

2. I find it frustrating to be constantly asked to write outside of my own comfort zone when my partner won't try to do the same.

Both cases your giving criticism of a specific topic (writing what you know) but in one way your being respectful and in another your berating other people. That is the point I'm making. That you can bring up issues that upset you without having to actively make other people feel bad.

For that matter just because you find something questionable doesn't mean you should go to the Staff unless the topic is actively against the rules. I've absolutely had people sic the Staff on me for making them angry and it's not a pleasant experience. It makes the whole site seem less welcoming.