Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Wandering Fae]

Wandering Fae to be clear is the player doing this too? Like they are also being snotty about how the powers work and are just using the character as a mouth piece?

Or is it more like the player also thinks their character is an asshole and is just dialing up the douchebaggery to an eleven?

Cuz I feel like if the character is meant to an asshole that’s just good writing. If the character is meant to be sympathetic then the player themselves is being obnoxious not so much the character.

Typically I see this with people who make characters that are meant to be sympathetic, be they're meant to be helpful but they talk to people with this in condescending tone to where you know it's the player trying to be a know it and their character is trying not come off as the "helpful wise mentor" all and tell you how to play your character because they think they know better but really they just weren't paying attention to how your character worked in the first place.

 

[DualDragons]

My pet peeves for rp'ing are mostly based on the few previous threads I was in, but they are:

- Players who don't read other's messages/posts and then go to assume stuff about their characters.

- People who bring loner characters into the rp that actively stay away from other characters and then the owner sulks/complains ooc that nobody is interacting with their characters.

- People who complain about you taking too long to host and then once it is their turn to host they take twice as long and never finish (if you switch hosts/worlds in a rp).

This happened to me, where I got a pressuring dm after not moving the rp much in a week due to being busy with a internship. With the rp'er then doing nothing for a month once they got to hosting.

- Characters that are unnecessarily rude to others/hurt them for no reason. This also happened to me and the guy rp'ing was in a bad mood which bled into the actions of his characters.

These are a couple things I encountered in the past when rp'ing

 

[Inno]

People that are adamant about playing a princess character. Swear up and down their princess will not be some helpless damsel in distress. Five posts in, they create a whole helping of drama where my character gets injured saving what else the damsel character who not only CAN'T fight can't even bother to know some basic injury assessment.

I can't even.

 

[Melpomene]

People that are adamant about playing a princess character. Swear up and down their princess will not be some helpless damsel in distress. Five posts in, they create a whole helping of drama where my character gets injured saving what else the damsel character who not only CAN'T fight can't even bother to know some basic injury assessment.

I can't even.

You know things would be easier if people would just be honest about what they want to play

There is no shame in playing the damsel in distress princess, but if you are with someone who specifically says they do not want to play against that then... honey you just need to get a different partner. Don't swear to play something that you don't want to play and then ruin the experience for everyone.

 

[GojiBean]

( quick note: i will be using “you” largely as a general term, not specifically referring to gojibean or anyone else )

sure, what does that have to do with me though? i do write to improve, as well as to have fun. they aren’t mutually exclusive. i make it clear in my rules that i also prefer writing with people who also intend to improve— and if not that, then people who are at least open to communication. when someone messages me after supposedly reading my interest check, then it is my assumption that they are okay with this sort of thing. i assume this because i state very clearly how much i appreciate communication and constructive criticism, which goes both ways for me, and how i prefer to write with people who both accept and give open communication, including if they have an issue with characters or plot points of mine, at which point i am willing to take their ideas into consideration if it makes them more comfortable, or makes the roleplay more long lasting.

constructive criticism doesn’t mean “i hate this thing about your character, your writing sucks, change it or we’re not roleplaying” … that seems to be what people are getting from this. constructive criticism means “i feel that this trait of your character may inhibit the progression of the roleplay in the long run, perhaps you could try this or this instead, or we can discuss some other options.”

here’s a quick example— not based on any one experience, just something that comes to mind: let’s say i had a detective themed roleplay. someone had a character who was like… super intuitive, world’s best detective material, didn’t work with others, super genius over here. it’d make that character hard to interact with because it’s specifically written into their character that they don’t work with others, they have no need or want for it! so, should i have my character chase after theirs, being desperate to work with them even though that goes against character a’s traits? mm… depends on the nature of character b, but generally no. instead, shouldn’t i bring this up as admins? communicating like adults, no? one could say something like this:

“hey, i think the isolated tendencies of your character could make it hard for this roleplay to work long term! i think it can be beneficial to even out their skillset, do you want to discuss some potential inhibitions to your character that would make it easier for them to interact with another character?” just as a general example of how i might go about providing this kind of constructive criticism, or suggestions.

is that so complicated? if not, this roleplay would flop very quickly because there’s very few ways to realistically insert a character.

yes, not everyone cares about realism… a lot of people are just “so quirky and random xD” when it comes to roleplay, doing things willy nilly with no real aim or reason. they can do whatever they want, but i’m not like that— which, again, i feel that i make pretty clear, so when people approach me then i inherently expect them to understand this. not that i expect them to obey my every word, only to make considerations and be willing to collaborate, which is literally the whole point of roleplay regardless of what you do it for. if you do it just for fun or to improve, whether you plan out the whole thing together or just go with the flow, isn’t the whole point supposed to be collaboration? working as a team to tell a story?

i like consistent characters. i like having reasons for things. of course, that’s not always going to be grounded in real life logic, but do you get what i mean?

of course, the other option is to just drop it entirely, but why do that right off the bat? it’s ridiculous to me that people will drop roleplays at the first sign of disagreement, and then complain that they always get ghosted or that none of their roleplays work out. that’s a lack of communication, it’s literally in your face. more often than not, my method works out well for me, so i really don’t have much to be concerned about.

“if you don’t like what someone is doing, drop the roleplay” or “if you don’t like what someone is doing, just deal with it because it’s not your character anyway”

how about “if you don’t like what someone is doing, try discussing it with them, and if it doesn’t work after that, then you can either end it or work with it in another way” ?

like i said, my method works fine with me so i’ll continue the way i am. i’m not harming anyone in the process: i don’t know how many times i have to say this, but i don’t pressure anyone into anything. i don’t see how it’s not clicking.

I understand where you're coming from. And I can sympathize, believe me. I'm just like you in that I actively seek those who are willing to constructively criticize my characters and my writing because I'm always excited to learn something new as a writer. I live for it. And I consider criticism is the backbone of progress and improvement, and something that can only be a positive when it's provided the right way by someone who knows better than I do about the subject matter. Or who has an insight that I might simply have missed.

However, you used one very specific word in your response to my earlier statement which kinda says it all as to why you're constantly met with disappointment from those who break or defy your expectations.

You used the word: assume.

i make it clear in my rules that i also prefer writing with people who also intend to improve— and if not that, then people who are at least open to communication. when someone messages me after supposedly reading my interest check, then it is my assumption that they are okay with this sort of thing. i assume this because i state very clearly how much i appreciate communication and constructive criticism.

Like I said earlier, I'm right there with you since I'm also someone who prefers writing with the intent of improving and communicating with my RP partners. However, this assumption that people will adhere to and respect your preference simply because you happened to state it openly for them is exactly the problem. You made the mistake of making an assumption, rather than remaining cautiously optimistic and holding onto the thought that this person might simply be telling you what you want to hear so the RP starts and then they can focus on it instead of you, and whatever you have to say.

There are very few things more debilitating or depressing to role-players than making assumptions about other people and what they can or will do just because we made our own preferences clear.

And, sad to say it, but this...

if you do it just for fun or to improve, whether you plan out the whole thing together or just go with the flow, isn’t the whole point supposed to be collaboration? working as a team to tell a story?

... This is also slightly off base.

You're correct about the fact that role-playing, either 1x1 or in a large group, is about collaboration. But I don't think you fully grasp what the limits of the word "collaborate/collaboration" are.

Collaboration, by definition, simply means doing something together.

That's it.

Adding anything onto that changes it from the actual hard definition of "collaboration" into an opinion on what you think the word should mean.

For example, "isn't collaboration all about communication and doing things together in a way that's interactive both IC and OOC?"

No, it's not. That's an assumption, and an opinion about what the word means to you. But doing something together, and doing so in an interactive way both IC and OOC, are not the same thing. Nor do they ever have to be. Because you can role-play alongside someone without ever talking to or interacting with them off the page. And you can interact with someone off the page on an RP site without ever actually role-playing with them. One does not require the other to be true.

When someone joins an RP, they can RP on the page IC without ever once talking to anyone OOC. So long as they're actively posting IC, their actions are fulfilling the definition of "collaboration" because their character's behavior, actions, and dialogue are all contributing to the telling of a story.

Is it right for them to be this way?

Well, actually yes. It is.

We may not prefer it. And we may not see it as being helpful, or as behavior we would expect of someone who's role-playing. But they're not actually wrong to be this way. I've met people like this before who refused to communicate OOC, and I used to kick them from the RP because I felt it was disrespectful of them to behave that way.

But was I right to do that? No.

They were role-playing how they wanted to role-play. They stepped into the mind of their character and lived vicariously through them on the page. They posted regularly, and they stayed in character without any issues. That's still role-playing. That's still collaborating. And I, despite being the GM and someone who also prefers communication and constructive criticism so we can all improve together, have no right to force them to conform to my way of doing things.

So, while I can agree with you 100% that writing with the intent of improving and wanting to communicate openly with others is preferable, it's just our preference. And as you know, we can't force people to communicate with us if they don't want to. And we can't force them to be open to criticism just because we say that we're open to it.

I'm pretty sure you won't like this, but my best advice to avoid the disappointment and frustration this brings is simply to keep your expectations and assumptions about people in check. I hate assumptions to begin with, and do my best to avoid ever using the word or having any assumptions of my own. However, I would argue that it's wiser to assume everyone you meet online is not open to criticism or communication than it is to assume they are. Reason being is because you'll hold no expectations of them going in. And when someone finally proves to be within your preference group of being open to criticism and wanting to communicate, it will be a welcome surprise. And you'll go from zero to 100, instead of from 100 to 0 as you would if it were the other way around.

It's why I never assume anyone is willing to communicate beyond a few courtesy messages to at least coordinate how to start an RP, and then get to posting. If my partner writes me a PM, I will respond and be happy about doing so. But I will not expect a message. Nor will I expect them to positively react to me if I criticize their character in any way. Especially with the example you gave where we're saying, "Hey, this aspect of your character may prove problematic in the long term. Can we adjust it a bit?"

Nobody wants to hear that their choice of character traits might "prove problematic." They want to make their character and go for it. And no matter how nicely you say it, unless you've already confirmed that the recipient of the information is someone who also actively seeks criticism and is willing and eager to grow and learn because of it, it's safe to assume (god, I hate that word) that this kind of information will always be perceived as an attack on their creative choices and their understanding of how creating a character works.

And this is not your fault. It's theirs. I know that it might sound mean to throw blame at them for their reaction. But it's a fact that they are indeed in control of whether or not they understand the nuances of how a character's traits can and will affect the course of an RP. All of the information is out there if they care to look for it or hear it from someone who knows better. And if they don't realize that being the ultra-genius loner detective right off the bat is going to cause stagnation and make it hard for other characters to interact with them which may result in the RP stalling or outright dying, then that's on them.

And sadly, we can't really do much about that for those who don't want to hear our criticism of their work and creative choices.

So yeah. In very short summar: Don't presume anyone's going to want communication or criticism even though you stated your preference for it. And always assume a negative reaction is coming if you choose to be constructively critical of someone else's work unless you've already confirmed they want to hear it from you to begin with.

My two cents.

 

[sevyn]

My two cents.

i shouldn't make assumptions but also i should absolutely assume that people are going to lash out / assume that people didn't properly read my interest check? hm. real weird take there, buddy boy.

i hate to say this, i'm sure you put quite a bit of effort into your little message, but i really don't care what you think. i feel like a lot of people on here are way too set on debating me about my opinions, on a thread made for venting at that. you're welcome to conduct yourself and your rps however you please, i'll do the same. my methods work fine for me more often than not. if i'm going to be interacting with someone longterm, i prefer to communicate like a normal person, and not walk on eggshells! but that's just me, i guess.

if someone doesn't fully read my interest check before messaging me, or if they lie to try and rush into the plot, that's on them. their mistake, not mine. if they read my interest check, they'll know full well what they're walking into, they can make their stance on ConCrit clear to me and i'll respect that. it's really that simple. i'm not holding a gun to their head and forcing them to roleplay with me and abide by my views. how is it any different from "i won't rp with anyone who writes less than 150 words" or "third person is required" ?? lmaoo.

also... "your best advice"??? i didn't ask you for advice. see, if you and i were writing partners, i'd probably take it into consideration a little more than that, but that's the thing... who are you to me? i don't know you or intend to interact with you, except maybe in passing, so that expectation is not between you and i. maybe you could argue, "well, you posted this to a public forum, of course people are going to reply" which would make more sense if it wasn't a venting thread, but alas. i'm getting kind of tired of it, y'know? cause when i get annoyed by people constantly trying to tell me my opinion or my methods are wrong, when it has nothing to do with them to begin with, suddenly i'm being disrespectful, suddenly i'm the mean and combative one, blah blah blah. it's getting pretty old. if you want to hand out advice, there are threads for that, sweetheart.
aaanyway, like i said. you can do whatever you want, but i'm not going to jump the gun and cancel an rp over an easy fix, or sit through an rp that i hardly even like because the person i'm writing with is too narrow minded.

 

[nerdy tangents]

People that are adamant about playing a princess character. Swear up and down their princess will not be some helpless damsel in distress. Five posts in, they create a whole helping of drama where my character gets injured saving what else the damsel character who not only CAN'T fight can't even bother to know some basic injury assessment.

I can't even.

Or at least give your princess character a field of competency. Cuz that's the frustrating thing about the whole "stupid pea-brained princess" trope. She is still set to rule a kingdom. It's not just "she wears pretty dresses and poops out kids". She would at bare minimum know things like etiquette, different languages, some kind of artistic talent. Sure it might not be super useful in a sword fight. But that's just gross in the other direction. A man's sole purpose shouldn't be jabbing things with a pointy object either.

Like maybe they have to sneak into a place or they overhear the bad guys talking in a language only the princess knows. Like at least give her a brain if you don't want to make her some kind of bad ass lady warrior.

 

[Melpomene]

Or at least give your princess character a field of competency. Cuz that's the frustrating thing about the whole "stupid pea-brained princess" trope. She is still set to rule a kingdom. It's not just "she wears pretty dresses and poops out kids". She would at bare minimum know things like etiquette, different languages, some kind of artistic talent. Sure it might not be super useful in a sword fight. But that's just gross in the other direction. A man's sole purpose shouldn't be jabbing things with a pointy object either.

Like maybe they have to sneak into a place or they overhear the bad guys talking in a language only the princess knows. Like at least give her a brain if you don't want to make her some kind of bad ass lady warrior.

That's actually what I find so funny when people try to make the princess a total damsel in distress who can't fend for herself at all.

Like... she is expected to one day run a kingdom, or at the very least be married to someone of great enough respect to run a household. She is, at the very least, expected to be competent enough to decide how the inner workings of the castle she will be living will be run. Multiple languages, probably great at holding a conversation, a diplomat, probably can sew, has an idea about the economy and how it functions, a distinct understanding of court and how it functions... the list goes on and on. Even if her skills can't be applied to an action scene they, at the very least, should be able to be applied

 

[Inno]

Or at least give your princess character a field of competency. Cuz that's the frustrating thing about the whole "stupid pea-brained princess" trope. She is still set to rule a kingdom. It's not just "she wears pretty dresses and poops out kids". She would at bare minimum know things like etiquette, different languages, some kind of artistic talent. Sure it might not be super useful in a sword fight. But that's just gross in the other direction. A man's sole purpose shouldn't be jabbing things with a pointy object either.

Like maybe they have to sneak into a place or they overhear the bad guys talking in a language only the princess knows. Like at least give her a brain if you don't want to make her some kind of bad ass lady warrior.

That's part of the reason I feel hesitant to play alongside that type of character because nine times out of ten it's just having my character doing everything. Like the person won't have their character contribute anything but manages to have them completely helpless and in trouble every three posts.

 

[Kaiju Cat]

That's part of the reason I feel hesitant to play alongside that type of character because nine times out of ten it's just having my character doing everything. Like the person won't have their character contribute anything but manages to have them completely helpless and in trouble every three posts.

Been there and witnessed it myself though she was supposed to be a soldier.

 

[Inno]

Been there and witnessed it myself though she was supposed to be a soldier.

The stuff we go through.

 

[Idea]

Or at least give your princess character a field of competency. Cuz that's the frustrating thing about the whole "stupid pea-brained princess" trope. She is still set to rule a kingdom. It's not just "she wears pretty dresses and poops out kids". She would at bare minimum know things like etiquette, different languages, some kind of artistic talent. Sure it might not be super useful in a sword fight. But that's just gross in the other direction. A man's sole purpose shouldn't be jabbing things with a pointy object either.

Like maybe they have to sneak into a place or they overhear the bad guys talking in a language only the princess knows. Like at least give her a brain if you don't want to make her some kind of bad ass lady warrior.

To be perfectly fair, I think you can make a totally useless princess character. I imagine that would be the point in fact, if one were to make such a character. Picture a character for instance being intentionally more assertive and imposing or on the contrary, playing on people’s pity towards her, both motivated by her own insecurities about her place among royalty due to evidently lacking the qualifications.

 

[Inno]

To be perfectly fair, I think you can make a totally useless princess character. I imagine that would be the point in fact, if one were to make such a character. Picture a character for instance being intentionally more assertive and imposing or on the contrary, playing on people’s pity towards her, both motivated by her own insecurities about her place among royalty due to evidently lacking the qualifications.

It's one thing to start off useless but to stay completely useless throughout is something completely else. Like no kind of character development at all.

 

[Idea]

It's one thing to start off useless but to stay completely useless throughout is something completely else. Like no kind of character development at all.

Agreed.

 

[nerdy tangents]

To be perfectly fair, I think you can make a totally useless princess character. I imagine that would be the point in fact, if one were to make such a character. Picture a character for instance being intentionally more assertive and imposing or on the contrary, playing on people’s pity towards her, both motivated by her own insecurities about her place among royalty due to evidently lacking the qualifications.

I mean my point is often times "useless" is translated as "is super girly" but like all the super girly things a princess should know are actually really difficult to learn. Like was mentioned earlier things like etiquette, sewing, being able to hold a pleasant conversation, knowing fashion, knowing different languages. All that kind of stuff means she has a brain. It might be frilly girly nonsense from a "practical" point of view but it doesn't make the character a useless idiot lacking in qualifications.

It's like people think princesses are cats. Like literally all they do is lie around wearing pretty dresses being spoiled brats. Like no literally no woman in the history of the world got to just sit around doing absolutely nothing. Even the most spoiled pampered princesses did have to learn a handful of talents. Cuz they are at least human beings and no human being can truly do nothing and have no thoughts ever in their head. That's not how real people work.

You can make a character useless in a specific scene (say hero get stabbed and she faints at the sight of blood) without making her a pretty lamp incapable of a single thought or without a single skill to her name.

 

[Murdergurl]

People who phrase things in a way that you/your character has to do all the work.

Like

"She sat there waiting to see what they would do"

Thanks for the contribution

Ah, yes. This can also come in the form of what I like to call, the "reiteration post". In this case, the other person basically rephrases all the stuff you just finished posting, but from their character's perspective. So while it looks like they wrote a lot, all they did was repeat your post. And then they add a couple of sentences at the end to make what is actually their contribution.

It's like, bruh... how dumb do you think I am? You think that's being sneaky or something? I know what you're doing. If you can't actually contribute your own ideas, then what are you even doing writing with other people?

 

[saniachan]

When your partner somehow forgets their own sign-up form and have their character act as if they're someone entirely different (e.g. a first year student acting as if they're already a member of a certain club in the previous year). And bonus point if said partner is the GM and they somehow forget the plot points they had planned themself.

Man, I wish we have a facepalm emoji for that.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I mean not gonna lie that will happen sometimes if it’s a long time between when I write the CS and when the roleplay starts.

But I usually just make a new CS like “so I forgot whatshernuts from before so here is my new CS and a outline of the plot. we good?”

 

[saniachan]

I mean not gonna lie that will happen sometimes if it’s a long time between when I write the CS and when the roleplay starts.

The thing is, my example happened recently with the IC mishap occuring less than a week since that particular CS was made, so...

 

[RPNationlover1]

When your partner somehow forgets their own sign-up form and have their character act as if they're someone entirely different (e.g. a first year student acting as if they're already a member of a certain club in the previous year). And bonus point if said partner is the GM and they somehow forget the plot points they had planned themself.

Man, I wish we have a facepalm emoji for that.

Was it me? It was me, wasn't it?

 

[saniachan]

Was it me? It was me, wasn't it?

Nope, not you this time. I mean, I'm ranting about "a first year student acting as if they're already a member of a certain club in the previous year". Do you think that can happen in our RP's setting?

Also, a little update: the player in question decided to just age their character up a little. That, I reckon, would be much easier than changing the whole narration altogether.

 

[RPNationlover1]

I meant a GM forgetting plot points that they made, though I did soon remember one of the plot points in our RP setting, so you may continue ranting. I apologize for the confusion.

 

[saniachan]

I meant a GM forgetting plot points that they made, though I did soon remember one of the plot points in our RP setting, so you may continue ranting. I apologize for the confusion.

Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Though, again, you weren't the one I had in mind when I wrote that, so...

 

[Genii]

When you take the time to write a paragraph and receive a one word response.

DMs who skip ahead to the next day without checking it’s ok first, especially if characters are mid-conversation or engaged in some sub-plot activity.

Players who never reveal what their characters are thinking or describe facial expressions/body language, especially if the character doesn’t talk much. It’s like talking to a tree.

Characters who only appear for the action scenes. Once it’s all over the character fades out again, building no relationships whatsoever with the rest of the cast.

DualDragons Lol! Yes - players who complain about nobody approaching their character, after character just insulted, threatened or intimidated the others. Bonus points if your character then approaches them and gets glared at, told to scram or a weapon in the face.

 

[Mitheral]

Hmm ... people who respond to an Group Interest Check (Accepting) with "I am soooo Interested." Then they never post a character.

People who post a character to a Group RP ... and never post. (Especially when the character fills a critical slot in a structured group - like the crew of a ship)

People who post once in a group RP, but never again ...

People who post "Interested" to a 1x1 Int check, when the instructions say PM me if interested

People who respond to an Int check with a PM titled "Interest check" (and you have more than one open). (Note: I tend to create pretty fleshed out RPs rather than lists of pairings.

People who respond with "so what are your ideas" when you specifically state you would like for someone else to create the setting for a change and not have to create the whole RP.