Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Chordling]

I think the respect part is what most people do take into consideration. Researching is a great endeavor on its own, but just as you mentioned, there is a difference when someone writes from experience vs when someone writes from researched knowledge. It's just a lot easier to write with backgrounds and stories that align to your experiences because they're easier to connect with. Most people wouldn't intentionally disrespect a demographic different than their own, of course. I think what it also comes down to is the writer's personal preferences and boundaries as well. The characters someone decides to write in these kinds of environments shouldn't be the only indicator of that person's knowledge or experiences as a whole.

 

[GojiBean]

Minor pet peeve (which might not be "minor" at all depending on how this mini-rant is interpreted)...

Not understanding the concept of "Setup and Payoff."

From my personal experience, this mostly comes from players who are overly invested in the concept of "tragic backstories," but who don't ever do anything with the tragic elements they add into the backstory. They don't reference them anywhere in the RP in flashbacks or dialogue. They don't ever hint at them through actions or internal thoughts. They don't do anything to have the character move forward and try to resolve those issues. And they don't ever seem to bother with guiding their character through events or interactions which could provide meaningful steps in resolving those issues.

And when I say "resolving issues," I don't mean finding a happy ending or positive growth. I mean finding some sort of progression, be it positive or negative, to further their character arc and personal story.

For example, when you put it in the backstory that your character was immediately abandoned by parents who were disgusted with their existence and then the character was raised in an abusive orphanage where the other kids and staff all treated them like crap, and so they ran away and grew up in the streets where they were constantly abused by the local populace whenever they couldn't get away with stealing food to survive, and then blah blah blah blah blah tragedies go on...

FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DO SOMETHING WITH THOSE DETAILS!!

For the parents immediate abandonment, how does your character know about that? Were they told by the bully kids and orphanage staff? Or are they ignorant to the details? If they know they were abandoned, how has that shaped their views on "family" and "bonds?" If it's turned them into the typical "I don't bond with anyone" trope, how are you going to resolve this? How is your character's personal defensive wall against bonds going to be slowly cracked and broken? Do you have any idea? If you don't, get an idea. Get them talking. Get them interacting. Get them moving. Do something with them and put them in situations which challenge their defenses and belief that family and bonds are overrated, dangerous, or just not worth it. And show them slowly changing their views, either for better or worse, as time goes on.

But don't just stick them with "I don't bond with anyone" and then leave it at that, and all of a sudden they pull a 360 with the "hot girl" of the group because you've come to ship them in your head.

It don't work like that, mate.

Every. Major. And. Important. Detail. In. Your. Character's. Backstory. Is. A. Setup.

Develop them, and give them a payoff. Every detail you add to your backstory which never sees the light of day in the RP or ever receives any progression (be it positive or negative) is a detail you may as well never have included in the first place which serves to devalue the character's history more than enhance it.

As the old saying goes, "if it can be removed and the story remains perfectly coherent and makes sense, remove it."

If you're gonna put something important in the backstory, it's a setup to a payoff that needs to happen at some point. So for the love of all things holy, pay it off. Hint at its origins, show the character's current mindset fully immersed in their starting views and values, show them engaging in actions, events, and conversations which chip away at their initial views and values and slowly get them thinking, show them making decisions they previously wouldn't have made, show them talking in a way they wouldn't have previously spoken, and show the progression over time.

- End of Mini Rant -

Phew...

So, yeah. My pet peeve is when people put important details in a backstory and then never touch them again or try to resolve or progress them throughout the RP and just make sudden changes out of nowhere without any rhyme or reason for them.

Cheers!

 

[nerdy tangents]

I think the respect part is what most people do take into consideration. Researching is a great endeavor on its own, but just as you mentioned, there is a difference when someone writes from experience vs when someone writes from researched knowledge. It's just a lot easier to write with backgrounds and stories that align to your experiences because they're easier to connect with. Most people wouldn't intentionally disrespect a demographic different than their own, of course. I think what it also comes down to is the writer's personal preferences and boundaries as well. The characters someone decides to write in these kinds of environments shouldn't be the only indicator of that person's knowledge or experiences as a whole.

My point is that just because someone isn’t exactly the same as you doesn’t mean that their lived experiences are different.

I feel like if you are non-white , non-straight you understand that viscerally because you literally have to identify with people that are not exactly like yourself in every way.

Maybe they have the same background but are a different sexuality or skin color.

Whereas straight white people are taught that everyone who isn’t straight and white must have an entirely different lived experience to themselves. That is the part that needs to get unlearned.

As someone who grew up in a predominately straight white space my point was my lived experience (as non white and non straight) is more similar to the straight white people I grew up with then it would be to any kind of “cultural” or “LGBTQ+“ storyline that is stereotypical in mass media.

 

[Walliver]

Minor pet peeve (which might not be "minor" at all depending on how this mini-rant is interpreted)...

Not understanding the concept of "Setup and Payoff."

From my personal experience, this mostly comes from players who are overly invested in the concept of "tragic backstories," but who don't ever do anything with the tragic elements they add into the backstory. They don't reference them anywhere in the RP in flashbacks or dialogue. They don't ever hint at them through actions or internal thoughts. They don't do anything to have the character move forward and try to resolve those issues. And they don't ever seem to bother with guiding their character through events or interactions which could provide meaningful steps in resolving those issues.

And when I say "resolving issues," I don't mean finding a happy ending or positive growth. I mean finding some sort of progression, be it positive or negative, to further their character arc and personal story.

For example, when you put it in the backstory that your character was immediately abandoned by parents who were disgusted with their existence and then the character was raised in an abusive orphanage where the other kids and staff all treated them like crap, and so they ran away and grew up in the streets where they were constantly abused by the local populace whenever they couldn't get away with stealing food to survive, and then blah blah blah blah blah tragedies go on...

FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DO SOMETHING WITH THOSE DETAILS!!

For the parents immediate abandonment, how does your character know about that? Were they told by the bully kids and orphanage staff? Or are they ignorant to the details? If they know they were abandoned, how has that shaped their views on "family" and "bonds?" If it's turned them into the typical "I don't bond with anyone" trope, how are you going to resolve this? How is your character's personal defensive wall against bonds going to be slowly cracked and broken? Do you have any idea? If you don't, get an idea. Get them talking. Get them interacting. Get them moving. Do something with them and put them in situations which challenge their defenses and belief that family and bonds are overrated, dangerous, or just not worth it. And show them slowly changing their views, either for better or worse, as time goes on.

But don't just stick them with "I don't bond with anyone" and then leave it at that, and all of a sudden they pull a 360 with the "hot girl" of the group because you've come to ship them in your head.

It don't work like that, mate.

Every. Major. And. Important. Detail. In. Your. Character's. Backstory. Is. A. Setup.

Develop them, and give them a payoff. Every detail you add to your backstory which never sees the light of day in the RP or ever receives any progression (be it positive or negative) is a detail you may as well never have included in the first place which serves to devalue the character's history more than enhance it.

As the old saying goes, "if it can be removed and the story remains perfectly coherent and makes sense, remove it."

If you're gonna put something important in the backstory, it's a setup to a payoff that needs to happen at some point. So for the love of all things holy, pay it off. Hint at its origins, show the character's current mindset fully immersed in their starting views and values, show them engaging in actions, events, and conversations which chip away at their initial views and values and slowly get them thinking, show them making decisions they previously wouldn't have made, show them talking in a way they wouldn't have previously spoken, and show the progression over time.

- End of Mini Rant -

Phew...

So, yeah. My pet peeve is when people put important details in a backstory and then never touch them again or try to resolve or progress them throughout the RP and just make sudden changes out of nowhere without any rhyme or reason for them.

Cheers!

I HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS SO MANY TIMES, TYSM GOJI FOR POINTING IT OUT

why give your character a tragic backstory if nothing ever comes of it? People have made up these horrific and detailed backstories, only to: 1) never reference it, 2) never have it reflected in the character(s) behaviors, and 3) get confused when you ask questions about the backstory

 

[Chordling]

Whereas straight white people are taught that everyone who isn’t straight and white must have an entirely different lived experience to themselves. That is the part that needs to get unlearned.

Hmm, I think when we write diverse characters, most people try to incorporate and acknowledge the different experiences that demographic is more likely to have, in the same sense that they would acknowledge cultural differences. Adding those different experiences for that character’s demographic adds realism/depth for a lot of writers and treating each demographic the same may feel more ignorant (knowing that many demographics can still share similar experiences).

 

[Chordling]

So, yeah. My pet peeve is when people put important details in a backstory and then never touch them again or try to resolve or progress them throughout the RP and just make sudden changes out of nowhere without any rhyme or reason for them.

This is part of the reason why I don’t like asking people for character sheets six pages in length because it pushes people to add information that doesn’t develop or become relevant for their character. xD

 

[nerdy tangents]

Hmm, I think when we write diverse characters, most people try to incorporate and acknowledge the different experiences that demographic is more likely to have, in the same sense that they would acknowledge cultural differences. Adding those different experiences for that character’s demographic adds realism/depth for a lot of writers and treating each demographic the same may feel more ignorant (knowing that many demographics can still share similar experiences).

Yeah and that’s something people need to unlearn. The idea that “oh someone isn’t white so they must be some exotic figure from a foreign country.” Even with the best of intentions it reduces non-whiteness to otherness and presumes that whiteness alone can exist as a default narrative.

Which is ignorant at best.

So to all my white writers I can assure you writing non white characters with “white backgrounds” is entirely okay.

In the same way not every single white character has to be written as a racist white redneck nor some kind of movie trope. Non white characters also cover a wide spectrum.

And if you can only imagine a non white character as some marginalized character from a foreign culture that is a failure of mainstream media. I can assure you not every Mexican** person has knowledge of nor is solely defined by Mexican culture. (And the same is true of any demographic you want to write) Nor for that matter is every LGBTQ character defined by who they want to sleep with or homophobia.

*using you to mean the general you not you specifically.

** now if you are writing a story set in the actual country of Mexico that will be different. But this post is specifically about people who think white lived experiences are exclusive to white people.

 

[Chordling]

One thing that annoys me with the other spectrum of that though is when creatives chooses to have a character who is "diverse for the sake of being diverse" (and not just racial diversity). It doesn't make sense for someone to write a transgender/disabled/ mentally ill character, for example, without exploring the struggles that most of those people encounter in society. That's something that should affect who the character is and how they continue to develop in the story. Otherwise, it's questionable why that part of the character was mentioned. Like GojiBean was saying earlier, it's frustrating to see characters who have lots of "set up" but no "pay off". For me, the same concept also applies to people of racial minorities in specific settings and even binary genders (women are treated differently than men are). I also think that acknowledging those differences in character development doesn't mean you're ignorant to the similarities.

 

[Daisie]

All my characters are demons or aliens

Quake in fear of my immunity

 

[Walliver]

All my characters are demons or aliens

Quake in fear of my immunity

you’ve got a point

 

[Green Glow]

Having to be vague about the description of my characters. So here is the truth other than the fact that I just like certain pictures and it's easier I find, part of the reason I use face claims is because I feel like I'm being judged if I describe my characters. People like to act like the female form doesn't exist and that "real woman" don't look a certain way and I find it to be very insulting as one of those women who does, in fact, look like this.

If you make your character too short you're a pedophile because "no woman is that short"...I am 5'2 I might be shorter than that but that's what my doctor says even though my mother disagrees so I may be shorter who knows maybe my doctor was just trying to make me feel better, but I digress, if you make a character with large breasts you're being creepy because "No woman's chest is that big," again I've had a big chest since I was a teenager, according to my female family members I've had a big butt all my life and yet I am made to feel bad for describing a character with similar or the same traits as me. Even now I don't want to go into too much detail because then I'd feel like people would think I'm showing off or trying to get attention, but I am so tired of people shitting on my body type and my physical traits because they want to assume that I'm sexualizing my character for male attention, well I'm sorry I don't know how else to explain she has big boobs than to say she has big boobs I can go the scientific route and just post her bust size but even that would be a problem.

 

[Coco Adel]

I will admit to the fact that even though I'm at the point in my life where I could give zero fucks about what people think of me that I do default to white or Asian characters most of the time because I'm just so used to it by this point. After all, people were very noticeably unaccepting of my characters being black in the past. Like they wouldn't outright say "We don't like that your character is black" but you can tell how people act that they feel uncomfortable or don't like something. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse the people who are uncomfortable and unaccepting or the people who are too accepting and fetishize my character and always bring so much attention to the fact that they are black.

 

[erzulie]

Yeah, I’ve had experiences where it was quite obvious that my characters were overlooked because they were black. Specifically in a lot of fantasy settings. It was weird because the rp had dragons and elves but they can’t have people of color?

And I agree, playing a person of color (like a black person for example) doesn’t always have to center around racism and such. We’re definitely more than our struggles, I think researching to avoid stereotypes is needed. But we don’t all share the same experiences, if that makes sense.

 

[Coco Adel]

Yeah, I’ve had experiences where it was quite obvious that my characters were overlooked because they were black. Specifically in a lot of fantasy settings. It was weird because the rp had dragons and elves but they can’t have people of color?

And I agree, playing a person of color (like a black person for example) doesn’t always have to center around racism and such. We’re definitely more than our struggles, I think researching to avoid stereotypes is needed. But we don’t all share the same experiences if that makes sense.

I honestly don't get this...so do they just ignore the existence of Dark Elves? Not that I'm saying your character has to be a dark elf to justify being black but how do black people not fit in fantasy?

 

[erzulie]

I honestly don't get this...so do they just ignore the existence of Dark Elves? Not that I'm saying your character has to be a dark elf to justify being black but how do black people not fit in fantasy?

I honestly have no idea and it’s always been a pet peeve of mine. Thankfully it seems like things have changed. Because when I was younger? Phew chile . At that point I stopped trying and ended up using anime characters a lot because it was accepted more.

 

[Coco Adel]

I honestly have no idea and it’s always been a pet peeve of mine. Thankfully it seems like things have changed. Because when I was younger? Phew chile . At that point I stopped trying and ended up using anime characters a lot because it was accepted more.

I'll admit that most of these issues I face came from when I was younger too, but clearly it had an effect, although I do make black characters more often now.

 

[Walliver]

aight, another complaint I have for most people on the site:

Read the ENTIRE interest check before you even THINK of DMing the person.

For example, I was chatting with someone the other day about an idea that I had listed on my interest check. I asked them if they had any triggers, since the roleplay dealt extensively with mental health and it probably would get dark. Now here comes the moment I knew they didn’t read the whole interest check:

Something that I specifically put on the interest check to keep people from DMing me, getting me interested in a plot, and then dipping when I didn’t meet some requirement- was listed as one of their requirements.

I cannot explain how livid I was.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been DMed by someone who has literally only read the ideas and not the rules on my interest check.
I am so tired of it. I’m gonna start pasting my entire interest check in response to every DM I’m sent, just to make sure they read it all.
I am so tired of unnecessary dms

 

[Coco Adel]

aight, another complaint I have for most people on the site:

Read the ENTIRE interest check before you even THINK of DMing the person.

For example, I was chatting with someone the other day about an idea that I had listed on my interest check. I asked them if they had any triggers since the roleplay dealt extensively with mental health and it probably would get dark. Now here comes the moment I knew they didn’t read the whole interest check:

Something that I specifically put on the interest check to keep people from DMing me, getting me interested in a plot, and then dipping when I didn’t meet some requirement- was listed as one of their requirements.

I cannot explain how livid I was.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been DMed by someone who has literally only read the ideas and not the rules on my interest check.
I am so tired of it. I’m gonna start pasting my entire interest check in response to every DM I’m sent, just to make sure they read it all.
I am so tired of unnecessary dms

I have one similar to this but in the opposite direction as in people who want you to read the entire interests check including things that do not apply to you. For example someone posts an intersect check with multiple genres and or fandoms and in order to make sure you read the whole thing they have hidden a word or phrase in the interest check and will ask you what it is and I would have no issue with this as I think it's a clever way to make sure people read the post...if it were not for the fact that you are forcing me to read things that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

For example, if I come onto your interest check and I am specifically interested in the fantasy plot you have posted then why do I also need to read through your Futuristic plot when I'm not interested in the futuristic plot? If I am interested in your Harry Potter plot then why do I need to read through your Supernatural plot to make sure I get this phrase you hid in the post? Why not just have a different phrase for each of your plots?

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yeah, I’ve had experiences where it was quite obvious that my characters were overlooked because they were black. Specifically in a lot of fantasy settings. It was weird because the rp had dragons and elves but they can’t have people of color?

And I agree, playing a person of color (like a black person for example) doesn’t always have to center around racism and such. We’re definitely more than our struggles, I think researching to avoid stereotypes is needed. But we don’t all share the same experiences, if that makes sense.

Exactly what I was trying to get at.

Also I will never not be furious at those people who can apparently find it in themselves to imagine superpowers and dragons but people of color (or god forbid LGBTQ+) is the bridge too far for their suspension of disbelief.

And heaven forbid you call them on it, cuz they’re not racist or homophobic or whatever.

Oh no it’s just “uncomfortable”. I’m like what do you think bigotry is exactly? Cuz it’s not just using slurs and Lynching people.

Segregation was a form of bigotry, and if you cannot imagine people of color in all white spaces (even in totally magical worlds where things are actively meant to be fantastical) then that’s at best implicit bigotry. Because your essentially segregating people and saying “no gays and no people of color allowed.”

 

[erzulie]

Exactly what I was trying to get at.

Also I will never not be furious at those people who can apparently find it in themselves to imagine superpowers and dragons but people of color (or god forbid LGBTQ+) is the bridge too far for their suspension of disbelief.

And heaven forbid you call them on it, cuz they’re not racist or homophobic or whatever.

Oh no it’s just “uncomfortable”. I’m like what do you think bigotry is exactly? Cuz it’s not just using slurs and Lynching people.

Segregation was a form of bigotry, and if you cannot imagine people of color in all white spaces (even in totally magical worlds where things are actively meant to be fantastical) then that’s at best implicit bigotry. Because your essentially segregating people and saying “no gays and no people of color allowed.”

I should have tagged you, because it was your post that I was agreeing with lol. But yeah, I find it odd that the uncomfortable thing seems to center around not knowing how to rp their experiences or they don’t know much about the culture (I’ll use black culture again for obvious reasons)

Everyone doesn’t know about said culture or act in the same way. For example, we all don’t use slang or get our hair braided or whatever. And I’m sure it’s the same for other groups of people. To be honest I feel like it’s a little dehumanizing in a way. It’d be nice to see more characters of colors in roles where the plot doesn’t have to center around racism or their skin. You can definitely have diversity without those two things.

But that’s not to say that I don’t see the importance of including those things within a plot. I like realistic rps as much as the next person.

 

[blue-jay]

while we're on the topic - i'm currently experiencing a fc drought ! it can be so hard to find black femme fcs, especially darker-skinned ones. whenever i go looking for black femme fcs, i get a bunch of zendaya, zoe kravitz, and amandla stenberg recommendations. they're great, but they're not always what i'm looking for.

if you have any resources to find black femme fcs, preferably with a good amount of pictures/gifs of them on the internet, please let me know !

 

[Walliver]

while we're on the topic - i'm currently experiencing a fc drought ! it can be so hard to find black femme fcs, especially darker-skinned ones. whenever i go looking for black femme fcs, i get a bunch of zendaya, zoe kravitz, and amandla stenberg recommendations. they're great, but they're not always what i'm looking for.

if you have any resources to find black femme fcs, preferably with a good amount of pictures/gifs of them on the internet, please let me know !

While I don’t have many resources, I do know that there are a few Tumblr and Wattpad fc masterlists for what you’re looking for!

Also, just for recommendation, Taylor Russell is an amazing actress with tons of gifs and pictures

 

[VolcanicAccelerator]

I honestly don't get this...so do they just ignore the existence of Dark Elves? Not that I'm saying your character has to be a dark elf to justify being black but how do black people not fit in fantasy?

Well, I think it ultimately depends on what the main inspiration and setting for the roleplay are, for example in LOTR. It's been stated multiple times that the middle earth is based upon Europe, specifically northwestern Europe, and was written to celebrate European culture, specifically of that region. Therefore the people in that story look like the people from that area, in that context, it makes sense that there are no dark-skinned people around, in that case, its completely within reason to exclude that group of people just like it'd be completely within reason to exclude Caucasian looking people from a fantasy roleplay taking inspiration from Central America or Africa. It all depends, and personally, I think this is completely fine.

Of course, this all changes when you're doing this for roleplays with super generic locations. You can't say make a generic fantasy world and expect people to play only one race. That's complete bullshit but if that fantasy roleplay has a certain location or geographical inspiration in mind it's alright in my opinion.

 

[Syntra]

Well, I think it ultimately depends on what the main inspiration and setting for the roleplay are, for example in LOTR. It's been stated multiple times that the middle earth is based upon Europe, specifically northwestern Europe, and was written to celebrate European culture, specifically of that region. Therefore the people in that story look like the people from that area, in that context, it makes sense that there are no dark-skinned people around, in that case, its completely within reason to exclude that group of people just like it'd be completely within reason to exclude Caucasian looking people from a fantasy roleplay taking inspiration from Central America or Africa. It all depends, and personally, I think this is completely fine.

Of course, this all changes when you're doing this for roleplays with super generic locations. You can't say make a generic fantasy world and expect people to play only one race. That's complete bullshit but if that fantasy roleplay has a certain location or geographical inspiration in mind it's alright in my opinion.

Hello, a whitey white from one of the whitest countries in Europe here. Guess what? We still have POC here. They're a minority, but they do exist. Diplomats etc. have also always been present at courts and such. When people say they cannot imagine a non-white person in a medieval fantasy piece, their imagination is just really fucking poor. And besides, why exclude players over something like that? Is sticking to "historical accuracy" (that is neither historical nor accurate) worth it?

 

[VolcanicAccelerator]

My point is that just because someone isn’t exactly the same as you doesn’t mean that their lived experiences are different.

I feel like if you are non-white , non-straight you understand that viscerally because you literally have to identify with people that are not exactly like yourself in every way.

Maybe they have the same background but are a different sexuality or skin color.

Whereas straight white people are taught that everyone who isn’t straight and white must have an entirely different lived experience to themselves. That is the part that needs to get unlearned.

As someone who grew up in a predominately straight white space my point was my lived experience (as non white and non straight) is more similar to the straight white people I grew up with then it would be to any kind of “cultural” or “LGBTQ+“ storyline that is stereotypical in mass media.

I completely agree, I don't get this narrative that because someone is a different sexuality or different race to you that their life experience has been fundamentally different to yours. I'm a black bisexual man, yet I share tons of life experiences with heterosexual Puerto Rican friends. I don't think sexuality and race play as big as a factor as the area of your upbringing does, I grew up in the inner cities of New Jersey and as such I can relate to just about anyone regardless of race/gender/sexuality who also grew up in that region, yet this is often ignored.