Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Cealen]

hello there, checking in with my opinions!

this definitely seems to not be a big issue anymore, from what i have seen after coming back to rping after a long break, but i really hate when people want m/m pairings (sometimes even m/f and f/f!) to fall distinctly into “top” and “bottom” characters, even if it’s not sexual. apparently there is a way that “bottoms” always act like, and it’s always conveniently the stereotypical, heteronormative, gender role filled idea of what a “bottom” is.

for m/f i see this still sometimes, more leaning on the gender roles side of things rather than distinct “top” and “bottom”. even people trying to go against it (“oh my female characters are INDEPENDENT AND STRONG! they’re unique and actually have personalities!” still feeds into this idea that those aren’t “normal” female characters, and the “normal” way to write a female character is for them to be submissive...) .

but it used to be SO bad for m/m pairings. people really had this strange idea of what gay couples were like, i guess...but i dealt with it just because i really wanted to write lgbt+ couples since those characters i can relate to more...

it does seem like rping as a whole has improved A LOT in lgbt+ stuff. seeing people not do this anymore is really nice, honestly! also, seeing that i can actually have trans and non-binary characters in my rps now without having to explain why it’s “needed” (another rant for another time...) or getting the good old “oh i support gays but not transgenders” (ANOTHER another rant for another time...) makes me very happy. it really does feel like people don’t have this cartoonish idea of lgbt+ people anymore.

 

[Gowi]

I think it’d be good to specify you heavily code your posts when making or replying to a search thread. I personally not only dislike mismatched aesthetics in roleplay threads (the usual “oh, but you don’t have to code YOUR posts!”) but also get easily distracted by bright colors/images, small text, flashy gifs and non-mobile friendly code.

or you could just not demand people to code

or not use code at all

we're writers not graphic design students

 

[Merciless Medic]

or you could just not demand people to code

or not use code at all

we're writers not graphic design students

Yes, but I love the graphic designs made by people. You can't exactly suggest not to demand code from people (which a good portion from what I have seen of the coders have not done) and then say to "not use code at all". It's hard work and it is something to be proud of and it is quite satisfying to look at.

I'd say just leave them alone. XD

And just because you are one thing doesn't mean you can't be another thing. That's like saying a construction worker can't be a commissioned artist.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Cealen I agree it used to totally weird me out when people basically just asked for M/F pairings only where one character was gender bent. But there was always a character that acted feminine and a character that acted masculine, but in super tropey ways that don’t even reflect real men and women much less gay couples.

And I hate the not like other girls trope with a white hot passion. If your character has to shit on other characters in order to make themselves seem interesting, they’re probably a dull jerk.

I don’t see it as often any more thank god. Or at least I don’t see it portrayed as a GOOD thing, there are people who make jerk characters with that personality.

 

[Gowi]

Yes, but I love the graphic designs made by people. You can't exactly suggest not to demand code from people (which a good portion from what I have seen of the coders have not done) and then say to "not use code at all". It's hard work and it is something to be proud of and it is quite satisfying to look at.

I'd say just leave them alone. XD

And just because you are one thing doesn't mean you can't be another thing. That's like saying a construction worker can't be a commissioned artist.

Okay, if you want me to be less facetious I will say this on aesthetics.

I use aesthetics and coding to a point. Presentation is exceptionally important to a RPs success and I would by lying if I said it wasn't. But these sites that rely on Xenforo code do take it beyond simple presentation to the point that it is extremely difficult to read and most of the time the aesthetics aren't presented with a lot of writing. In fact, I have personally seen more cases where advanced code is used to hide a lack of a concept. Often it is just a bunch of margins, some really cool pictures and graphic design with obnoxiously small text, and its all text that isn't presenting comprehensive ideas. Sometimes its just two or three sentences, which yeah, if you want it to be pretty and you're running a touch-and-go casual project that's fine.

I'm 32 years old. Back in my day all we had was shitty HTML and BBcode and we only used it for emphasis. We focused more on writing than presentation. Proof of concept. I should not have to "zoom in" to read your RP. Ever. It is detrimental to the purpose of RP; to present your idea, garner interest, and write. If I have to "zoom in" then that is simply bad design. That said, yes it is impressive that people use their skill with graphic design to make cool formatting and aesthetics. But there are many reasons why it is criticized by various role-playing auteurs.

 

[Melpomene]

And I hate the not like other girls trope with a white hot passion. If your character has to shit on other characters in order to make themselves seem interesting, they’re probably a dull jerk.

Thiiiiiiiiiis.

Fuck the people that try to bash on traditional femininity to add on to what you said. If the only way you can say they are special is "they aren't like other--" then boo I bet they are as bland as wonderbread. But "not like other girls" irks me because there is already enough misogyny in the world, don't add on to it by bashing traditional femininity.

It is so bad that someone tried to critique a character I had because she was a warrior... But she also liked dresses and putting flowers in her hair and shit. They claimed that made her contradictory. NO?? It means she can kick your ass but likes to look fabulous while she does it?? She can be warrior and not act traditionally masculine??

Same thing with some other characters I have that are more feminine and like fashion but are strong in speech and such rather than combat. Yes, they are still strong female characters even if they can't fight.

Not to mention how many people assume one of my male OCs is gay just because he exhibits more feminine attributes but he is actually quite straight.

TLR I hate that toxic thinking and I want it to die.

 

[Gowi]

It is so bad that someone tried to critique a character I had because she was a warrior... But she also liked dresses and putting flowers in her hair and shit. They claimed that made her contradictory. NO?? It means she can kick your ass but likes to look fabulous while she does it?? She can be warrior and not act traditionally masculine??

That sounds like a fun character. In fact, you just made my favorite character from ToB.

 

[Merciless Medic]

Okay, if you want me to be less facetious I will say this on aesthetics.

I use aesthetics and coding to a point. Presentation is exceptionally important to a RPs success and I would by lying if I said it wasn't. But these sites that rely on Xenforo code do take it beyond simple presentation to the point that it is extremely difficult to read and most of the time the aesthetics aren't presented with a lot of writing. In fact, I have personally seen more cases where advanced code is used to hide a lack of a concept. Often it is just a bunch of margins, some really cool pictures and graphic design with obnoxiously small text, and its all text that isn't presenting comprehensive ideas. Sometimes its just two or three sentences, which yeah, if you want it to be pretty and you're running a touch-and-go casual project that's fine.

I'm 32 years old. Back in my day all we had was shitty HTML and BBcode and we only used it for emphasis. We focused more on writing than presentation. Proof of concept. I should not have to "zoom in" to read your RP. Ever. It is detrimental to the purpose of RP; to present your idea, garner interest, and write. If I have to "zoom in" then that is simply bad design. That said, yes it is impressive that people use their skill with graphic design to make cool formatting and aesthetics. But there are many reasons why it is criticized by various role-playing auteurs.

Okay, that makes sense. I understand your point of view now.

While there are several people here who do end up overcompensating their lack of information and decent-ish writing skills with pretty (sometimes obnoxious) code, I don't see that a whole lot. And I have also seen some very small fonts that do require a bit of zooming in, or text that is hidden and you have to highlight it to see past it, or words that stretch beyond a barrier and you have to highlight it and copy+paste it somewhere to see what it actually says (or it just isn't mobile friendly). But I have used a couple of templates. They are rather simple, until you accidentally delete something without knowing what you deleted in the first place and then everything is a mess. I do enjoy simple presentations. A few distractions are fine, and I do like the tabs and spoilers. However, I have seen what you mean. The content and richness of the RP is what matters and even if the cover of the book looks good, its contents might not be the best thing in the world. I can see why people, who are interested in their RP but don't know how to describe some things (whether it is because of experience explaining things or English not being their first language), would use such flashy displays of aesthetics to entice people to come in. They are passionate about their RP or they want to garner lots of attention for it. They might realize it's not as good as the other kinds of starter discussions for RP, so they are compensating for a self-perceived lack of ability. However, it does make others think that maybe the person doesn't know what they are doing, or that maybe they aren't good RPers, or distract those with a mental condition that makes it impossible for them to read.

HTML and BBcode is what I'm used to. xD Used to make web pages with HTML back in high school. But I do understand where you are coming from. I'm on another RP site that got rid of its HTML and coding to focus more on the content of the writing. An RP that has too little font may be hard to read for those who can't read small letters, or may exacerbate those with dyslexia. So, while a font size that is just slightly smaller than the average font size we have now is fine, any smaller and it will be difficult to read.

Thiiiiiiiiiis.

Fuck the people that try to bash on traditional femininity to add on to what you said. If the only way you can say they are special is "they aren't like other--" then boo I bet they are as bland as wonderbread. But "not like other girls" irks me because there is already enough misogyny in the world, don't add on to it by bashing traditional femininity.

It is so bad that someone tried to critique a character I had because she was a warrior... But she also liked dresses and putting flowers in her hair and shit. They claimed that made her contradictory. NO?? It means she can kick your ass but likes to look fabulous while she does it?? She can be warrior and not act traditionally masculine??

Same thing with some other characters I have that are more feminine and like fashion but are strong in speech and such rather than combat. Yes, they are still strong female characters even if they can't fight.

Not to mention how many people assume one of my male OCs is gay just because he exhibits more feminine attributes but he is actually quite straight.

TLR I hate that toxic thinking and I want it to die.

Oh good lord, I am so sorry. I'm not the one who did that, obviously. But I still feel bad that happened to you.

I have a male character who is rather flamboyant and shows off a lot and he dresses quite nice. He also likes tea parties and knitting with his Pokemon. But he is completely 100% straight. I have caught people wondering if he was gay or bisexual. While it is easy to fall into that mindset (with myself included, I have accidentally thought he was something other than straight for a second), that isn't how I made my character and nobody should have a problem about what the character likes and acts like and what their skills are.

You can make contradictory characters. They are hard to pull off, but they don't look like that. XD That's just a really interesting, fabulous warrior.

 

[Charles Cheese]

People who assume your character being mean toward their character ic is a ooc personal attack(whew, try saying that 3 times fast). I love playing characters who are rude or morally questionable, but the last thing I want is to upset someone in real life by my character calling theirs a square.

 

[Crayons]

And I hate the not like other girls trope with a white hot passion. If your character has to shit on other characters in order to make themselves seem interesting, they’re probably a dull jerk.

I don’t see it as often any more thank god. Or at least I don’t see it portrayed as a GOOD thing, there are people who make jerk characters with that personality.

I had a character of mine say this about herself ... because she really thought she was better than other girls. I cringed at it because this is an awful trope but that was the kind of thing that my (arrogant) character legitimately thought. I just hope my fellow RPers didn't think that it reflected my own opinions.

On another note, I think that a lot of girls - teenage girls - really do think they are not like other girls, and that it's kind of a facet of that whole "nobody understands me" thing that everyone goes through at that age. Definitely not helped by the prevalence of the trope, or the ridiculous assimilation/popularity standards that teen culture has.

 

[Merciless Medic]

I had a character of mine say this about herself ... because she really thought she was better than other girls. I cringed at it because this is an awful trope but that was the kind of thing that my (arrogant) character legitimately thought. I just hope my fellow RPers didn't think that it reflected my own opinions.

On another note, I think that a lot of girls - teenage girls - really do think they are not like other girls, and that it's kind of a facet of that whole "nobody understands me" thing that everyone goes through at that age. Definitely not helped by the prevalence of the trope, or the ridiculous assimilation/popularity standards that teen culture has.

Omg, I was basically that in a nutshell as a teenager. Because I was horrible at expressing myself through words, I just kind of grew moody and, when other people tried to compare themselves to me, I always thought they were wrong and that whoever they are and whatever they went through was completely different than myself and my own life experiences. Of course, I found out that a lot of what I did (including naming one of my character's Shade, which I thought was a completely original name and that nobody else totally thought of it themselves) was actually shared by a lot of people. XD

Also, I knew a good 30% of the females in my school had that mentality of "I'm so misunderstood, woe is me" kind of attitude, which doesn't help the stereotype. The worst thing was that I thought I wasn't like them.

Pretty sure I was deluded. XD but yea, the fact that it is quite prevalent in schools and even television programs made for 13-year-olds or teenagers in general that spout the "oh, we don't have anything in common with each other" is kind of unhealthy. We are all an equal amount of likeness and uniqueness with one another, but going on one deep end of the spectrum and acting out isn't going to make anything better for anyone.

 

[Owlbear]

On another note, I think that a lot of girls - teenage girls - really do think they are not like other girls, and that it's kind of a facet of that whole "nobody understands me" thing that everyone goes through at that age.

It doesn't help that a lot of the things that are associated with teenage girls (and to a lesser extent, teenage girls themselves) are portrayed as being kind of uncool a lot of the time, so it's only natural that a lot of them end up rejecting those things.

 

[peritwinkle]

or you could just not demand people to code

or not use code at all

we're writers not graphic design students

You missed my point, I think

 

[nerdy tangents]

I had a character of mine say this about herself ... because she really thought she was better than other girls. I cringed at it because this is an awful trope but that was the kind of thing that my (arrogant) character legitimately thought. I just hope my fellow RPers didn't think that it reflected my own opinions.

On another note, I think that a lot of girls - teenage girls - really do think they are not like other girls, and that it's kind of a facet of that whole "nobody understands me" thing that everyone goes through at that age. Definitely not helped by the prevalence of the trope, or the ridiculous assimilation/popularity standards that teen culture has.

Oh I am not saying it’s not a legitimate mindset. Just that it’s a negative one. As long as you portrayed it as a flaw the character had/needed to overcome than that’s fine.

It’s kinda like Mary Sues, there are legitimate people who think their perfect and must always be the center of attention. That they are the best there ever was at literally anything. Etc.

The trick is, these people are absolutely INSUFERABLE to deal with. No one in real life likes these people (regardless of what they may say).

So if you make that kind of character and allow other players and characters to hate them (or at least find them annoying) then it’s fine. Because your just reflecting real human characteristics.

It’s when the narrative follows these characters delusions (no they really AREN’T like those gross girly girls and that’s a good thing. Because all the gross girly girls are sluts or idiots or whatever) then you have a problem. Because then you as the narrator are being misogynistic and annoying not just your character.

Plus I resent being told how I must feel about other people’s characters in general. Like I won’t be mean about it but I am also not spending seven pages OOC kissing a fictional characters ass.

 

[Gowi]

Plus I resent being told how I must feel about other people’s characters in general. Like I won’t be mean about it but I am also not spending seven pages OOC kissing a fictional characters ass.

I don't think its tantamount to a good OOC relationship to dog other people's characters (even if they are incredibly flawed) either.

 

[Crayons]

It was presented entirely neutrally, but I would have loved to see her get her ass handed to her by a girl she underestimated. XD

 

[nerdy tangents]

I don't think its tantamount to a good OOC relationship to dog other people's characters (even if they are incredibly flawed) either.

I specifically said I wasn’t mean about it? But that I do not appreciate people making me kiss their characters ass for no reason.

 

[saniachan]

That awkward moment when a new player suddenly joined in a group RP without even introducing their character in the CS thread. Even if the RP itself is open to new folks, I'm sure everyone else in that RP gonna be like "Who tf is dis?"

 

[artfvlly]

Roleplays where you have to audition of roles and the role selection for women is shit like "the not-like-other-girls girl because of internalised misogyny but we're not going to acknowledge that" or "the slut because women aren't allowed to enjoy themselves because they are innocent holy vessels". That and the lack of diversity, where are my non-binary pals?

 

[ophiocordyceps]

Tfw you've got sort of a group rp going on, with rules before your character can be approved and all that, right
You ask someone if they can change some details to be more canon compliant, but when they resubmit their character, nothing's changed and they're already moving on like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wig okay

 

[Cealen]

I'm back again with another opinion!!

sometimes it feels like people have such a specific idea for an rp that i think that...it would be better for them to write it on their own, as a short story, or something along those lines. like, if you have this very thought out idea and don't want any changes to it, and you want your rp partner to rp this VERY specific character, and you only allow for so much freedom, then...that doesn't become fun for the person you're roleplaying with, as it feels like you're just kind of dragging them along. especially if whenever they suggest something you strike them down immediately because it's not exactly fitting into your ideas.

i do like my ideas and I don't want some rp partner to come and tell me "hey, i like your idea, but can we change literally everything about it until it's not even like the original idea anymore?". i do usually give some sort of concept on what i want the characters and some plot beats to be like, but the thing is, in roleplaying, there's the whole unpredictability factor. you have no idea what really your partner's reply is going to contain, so you can't really be too dead set on incredibly specific plots because stuff is...going to change. and that's a good thing!

basically, if you don't want that unpredictably, you shouldn't be roleplaying that idea, honestly. you'll have a more fun time writing that lore-heavy world, or that very specific character dynamic that you don't want changing by yourself then attempting to roleplay it with someone who isn't you and doesn't want it to go the same exact way as you do.

 

[Gowi]

Roleplays where you have to audition of roles and the role selection for women is shit like "the not-like-other-girls girl because of internalised misogyny but we're not going to acknowledge that" or "the slut because women aren't allowed to enjoy themselves because they are innocent holy vessels". That and the lack of diversity, where are my non-binary pals?

I don't have issues with the audition system. That said, as a GM it is exhausting when you're going through the applications and you don't have a good fit either way.

 

[AndPeggy]

I hate it when I'm rping with someone for a long time and they just don't remember anything that happened in the past. I like to reference past events in my posts sometimes and when they don't get it it's just so lame.

When my partner doesn't remember important events in the past it feels like the development of the relationship between characters (and character development itself) was totally useless. That they've made absolutely no progress and have nothing to build upon.

It also makes me feel like they don't value the story as much. Like I get some people don't have a great memory but don't people take notes of important things to keep track of what's been said and done?

 

[Daisie]

I hate it when I'm rping with someone for a long time and they just don't remember anything that happened in the past. I like to reference past events in my posts sometimes and when they don't get it it's just so lame.

When my partner doesn't remember important events in the past it feels like the development of the relationship between characters (and character development itself) was totally useless. That they've made absolutely no progress and have nothing to build upon.

It also makes me feel like they don't value the story as much. Like I get some people don't have a great memory but don't people take notes of important things to keep track of what's been said and done?

As someone with really bad memory, and who has had a roleplay going for 2 years now, I feel SUPER bad about this.

Nowadays I'm legitimately having to go back through all 2 years of content and scribble down notes about every little thing that happened because neither my partner nor I have the memory capable of doing so. I'm about halfway through and the notes are about 10 pages long, I believe. Maybe closer to 20.

I got chemo awhile ago so my memory is royally screwed over anyway ^^" I'm really paying for it.

 

[Owlbear]

GM's who seemingly abandon their roleplay, only to show up after a week or so of complete radio silence and wonders why nobody is interested in their rp anymore.