Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Nihilum]

Generally, the thing that annoys me the most recently are people who are all: "If you decide to leave the roleplay, you NEED to TELL ME WHY. DON'T GHOST ME OR I'LL ADD YOU TO MY BLACKLIST."

Like, man, reflect inwardly for just a second.

This attitude always reminds me of that one Simpsons meme. You know, the one with the "am I out of touch? No, it must be everyone else."

If someone's having such a widespread, constant problem with people ghosting them that they need to lash out in their ads, they should probably self-reflect on which of their own behaviors could be causing this. Fun fact: the more friendly you are towards ghosting, the less likely your partners are to get extremely anxious about quitting an RP with you. It's bizarre that the "NO GHOSTING, NO NO NO NO!!" people don't seem to comprehend that they're only making their partners more likely to be afraid of confrontation, and thus ghost. Although I suppose a lot of them are neurotypical people who don't really understand how anxiety, trauma, and depression can cause issues regarding this type of thing. It's rarely ever personal like they make it out to be.

 

[iJoeyMonster]

You come up with an amazing plot and the lack of writing skill of your partner just breaks your heart..

 

[nerdy tangents]

Nihilum I think it’s actually the problem in the opposite direction I think. Most of the people who seem super up in arms about ghosting do have severe anxiety or other mental health issues. So it’s a case of them spiraling out due to lack of closure or communication and overcompensating by being more strict.

But sometimes I do want to look at the message and ask “Okay but how would YOU react to this level of aggression in a partner? Would YOU want to bring up an issue to someone like that?”

That said my favorites are the people who are like “To make sure you read these rules put this secret word into your message, oh no psych it’s this word instead, ha made you look twice actually just tell me which of my plots you liked the best. “

 

[Syntra]

Nihilum I think it’s actually the problem in the opposite direction I think. Most of the people who seem super up in arms about ghosting do have severe anxiety or other mental health issues. So it’s a case of them spiraling out due to lack of closure or communication and overcompensating by being more strict.

But sometimes I do want to look at the message and ask “Okay but how would YOU react to this level of aggression in a partner? Would YOU want to bring up an issue to someone like that?”

That said my favorites are the people who are like “To make sure you read these rules put this secret word into your message, oh no psych it’s this word instead, ha made you look twice actually just tell me which of my plots you liked the best. “

Omg yeah, I hate that key word thing. Like, when I look for a new partner, I usually read multiple threads at once, and it's really easy to forget about the password when you finally choose who to contact. Besides, when drafting my first message, I tend to focus on, you know, the potential plot pitch, not on some random word that is supposed to prove I paid attention. Like??? Is that not obvious from the stuff I'm suggesting?

 

[teefies]

Omg yeah, I hate that key word thing. Like, when I look for a new partner, I usually read multiple threads at once, and it's really easy to forget about the password when you finally choose who to contact. Besides, when drafting my first message, I tend to focus on, you know, the potential plot pitch, not on some random word that is supposed to prove I paid attention. Like??? Is that not obvious from the stuff I'm suggesting?

as someone who has used the keyword thing, i mostly just ask for them to tell me a little tidbit about themself, but if their response was well detailed and seemed to follow along with my post and what was said in it, then i disregard the code word. i use the code word to weed out the people who didn't pay attention to what was actually said in my post yknow?

 

[Syntra]

as someone who has used the keyword thing, i mostly just ask for them to tell me a little tidbit about themself, but if their response was well detailed and seemed to follow along with my post and what was said in it, then i disregard the code word. i use the code word to weed out the people who didn't pay attention to what was actually said in my post yknow?

You do you, of course! I just find it a little redundant because I was always able to tell whenever someone read my check or not, even without the code words. And mostly, I was complaining about the people who are like 'sorry, go reread my post, you forgot something )))' after you send them a detailed list of ideas aligning with their preferences. At that point, I have to laugh because it seems like such a weird obsession to me.

 

[saniachan]

There's this roleplayer in another forum whose character made a remark about something they're not supposed to know yet. Made even worse when that stuff is so happened to be my character's thought process. So what did I do? I called them out in-character roughly like this:

As far as <my character> was concerned, <my character> hadn't even told anyone about that plan, not even <their character>. So how???

 

[voracity]

There's this roleplayer in another forum whose character made a remark about something they're not supposed to know yet. Made even worse when that stuff is so happened to be my character's thought process. So what did I do? I called them out in-character roughly like this:

Is this what they call meta-ing? Happens a lot in groups with either lots of young players or ... glory-hounds, I guess?

 

[saniachan]

Is this what they call meta-ing? Happens a lot in groups with either lots of young players or ... glory-hounds, I guess?

Pretty much, yeah. In this case though, the player I mentioned there somewhat justified it with their character's status as a tactician. It wasn't on the fly either -- said character had been presented as one to begin with, so...

 

[nerdy tangents]

It doesnt make me angry just kinda roll my eyes. But when people put “I need romance because I think it makes the roleplay interesting.”

Idk it just feels like they lack imagination. Like in their mind the only thing that gives life meaning is dating someone.

I always steer clear because I am like, if your character really has nothing else going for them but being an object of attraction than we are not gonna be a good fit.

 

[AnnJam]

It doesnt make me angry just kinda roll my eyes. But when people put “I need fantasy because I think it makes the roleplay interesting.”

Idk it just feels like they lack imagination. Like in their mind the only thing that gives life meaning is magic powers.

I always steer clear because I am like, if your character really has nothing else going for them but being a conduit for energy than we are not gonna be a good fit.

It bothers me that this site and it's users have a propensity for dunking on romance and I don't know if its because you are all children, men, or just that out of touch with the genre that the only thing you can POSSIBLY imagine happening in it is characters being objects of attraction. As if that is the ONLY THING romance brings to the table, as if that is the ONLY THING the genre has to offer. Learn that romance isn't ONLY about being an object of attraction, for fucks sakes, the genre has story to offer its why it is POPULAR and so beloved. You can say the same blanket statement about any god damn genre and generalize it to a singular aspect of that genre and make it sound as dumb, limited, and narrow as you do to romance. If anything lacks imagination its the way people imagine the romance genre in general.

 

[nerdy tangents]

It doesnt make me angry just kinda roll my eyes. But when people put “I need fantasy because I think it makes the roleplay interesting.”

Idk it just feels like they lack imagination. Like in their mind the only thing that gives life meaning is magic powers.

I always steer clear because I am like, if your character really has nothing else going for them but being a conduit for energy than we are not gonna be a good fit.

It bothers me that this site and it's users have a propensity for dunking on romance and I don't know if its because you are all children, men, or just that out of touch with the genre that the only thing you can POSSIBLY imagine happening in it is characters being objects of attraction. As if that is the ONLY THING romance brings to the table, as if that is the ONLY THING the genre has to offer. Learn that romance isn't ONLY about being an object of attraction, for fucks sakes, the genre has story to offer its why it is POPULAR and so beloved. You can say the same blanket statement about any god damn genre and generalize it to a singular aspect of that genre and make it sound as dumb, limited, and narrow as you do to romance. If anything lacks imagination its the way people imagine the romance genre in general.

I KNOW that but the problem is a lot of roleplay writers don’t seem to realize it.

I never said the romance GENRE is the problem I said that romance WRITERS that assume their characters are only interesting if their shipped with someone else is the issue.

If anything I think the “shipping” to the exclusion of plot and character development is a way bigger insult to the romance genre than someone saying essentially “if your character is just an object of desire your a lazy writer”.

 

[Syntra]

I KNOW that but the problem is a lot of roleplay writers don’t seem to realize it.

I never said the romance GENRE is the problem I said that romance WRITERS that assume their characters are only interesting if their shipped with someone else is the issue.

If anything I think the “shipping” to the exclusion of plot and character development is a way bigger insult to the romance genre than someone saying essentially “if your character is an object of desire your a lazy writer”.

I don't think that that's what people usually mean by the statement, though. Like, to me, it reads as 'I enjoy romance and that's why I want it in my rp,' not 'my character is a cardboard cutout and I only want to write about them blushing.' Moreover, I imagine that the implication behind 'I think romance makes rp interesting' is 'please, don't think I'm a creep who wants to cyberdate my partner.'

 

[nerdy tangents]

I don't think that that's what people usually mean by the statement, though. Like, to me, it reads as 'I enjoy romance and that's why I want it in my rp,' not 'my character is a cardboard cutout and I only want to write about them blushing.' Moreover, I imagine that the implication behind 'I think romance makes rp interesting' is 'please, don't think I'm a creep who wants to cyberdate my partner.'

Fair enough, like I said it doesn’t make me angry just kinda roll my eyes. Probably because I have run into too many shippers who really authentically can’t imagine their character as a fleshed out person if they aren’t trying to get into someone’s pants.

Admittedly I have no proof that these players are the same I would just rather not waste anyone’s time.

 

[AnnJam]

I KNOW that but the problem is a lot of roleplay writers don’t seem to realize it.

I never said the romance GENRE is the problem I said that romance WRITERS that assume their characters are only interesting if their shipped with someone else is the issue.

If anything I think the “shipping” to the exclusion of plot and character development is a way bigger insult to the romance genre than someone saying essentially “if your character is just an object of desire your a lazy writer”.

but that isn't what you said. Nor is it a real problem. I have never done romance and thought the way you are describing, I don't know anyone who has done a romance who thinks the way you are describing. Nor do people who enjoy romance think of our characters that way, or the roleplay, we consider story just as much as any other genre. You are making baseless, general statements with nothing to back it up and dunking on romance because it's easy to generalize it and call everything in romance SHIPPING.

Shipping is a phenomenon in fandom, shipping is not the romance genre. Stop generalizing and confusing the two.

 

[nerdy tangents]

but that isn't what you said. Nor is it a real problem. I have never done romance and thought the way you are describing, I don't know anyone who has done a romance who thinks the way you are describing. Nor do people who enjoy romance think of our characters that way, or the roleplay, we consider story just as much as any other genre. You are making baseless, general statements with nothing to back it up and dunking on romance because it's easy to generalize it and call everything in romance SHIPPING.

Shipping is a phenomenon in fandom, shipping is not the romance genre. Stop generalizing and confusing the two.

I am talking about shipping because that is literally what the people I am talking about called it.

I am talking about people writing characters purely as objects of desire because I have actually spoken to real humans who treated romance that way.

Now regardless if that is you personally or even what the people in the thread meant. Kindly don’t insinuate I am lying just because you don’t like what I said.

 

[AnnJam]

I am talking about shipping because that is literally what the people I am talking about called it.

I am talking about people writing characters purely as objects of desire because I have actually spoken to real humans who treated romance that way.

Now regardless if that is you personally or even what the people in the thread meant. Kindly don’t insinuate I am lying just because you don’t like what I said.

BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT! You didn't even mention shipping in the original post. You were talking about romance roleplayers, people who want and ask specifically for romance in the roleplay because they think it makes thing interesting. You said and I quote:

It doesnt make me angry just kinda roll my eyes. But when people put “I need romance because I think it makes the roleplay interesting.”

Idk it just feels like they lack imagination. Like in their mind the only thing that gives life meaning is dating someone.

I always steer clear because I am like, if your character really has nothing else going for them but being an object of attraction than we are not gonna be a good fit.

I do exactly what you said in this post. So tell me how does wanting romance mean I lack imagination?

As a note this is what is making me
angry about RPing today.​

 

[nerdy tangents]

1. I said that it is my perception. I am allowed to perceive things based on my own experience.

2. I am not saying my perception is reality. I said “I feel” not “It’s fact that X.”

3. Assuming that people who disagree with you are doing so purely to be put you down is kind of rude. I mean good for you that you know how to write romance. Excellent for you that you have found good partners on this site. That is not the experience of everyone on this site. And just because we have bad experiences and are rightly wary doesn’t mean you get to accuse us of attacking you. Because I was not talking to YOU until you decided to attack me for stating my OPINION on a thread specifically for that purpose.

 

[voracity]

1. I said that it is my perception. I am allowed to perceive things based on my own experience.

2. I am not saying my perception is reality. I said “I feel” not “It’s fact that X.”

3. Assuming that people who disagree with you are doing so purely to be put you down is kind of rude. I mean good for you that you know how to write romance. Excellent for you that you have found good partners on this site. That is not the experience of everyone on this site. And just because we have bad experiences and are rightly wary doesn’t mean you get to accuse us of attacking you. Because I was not talking to YOU until you decided to attack me for stating my OPINION on a thread specifically for that purpose.

Hey, just wanted to reach out and say, valid points all around in this reply. When I was searching around 1x1 threads almost everything I found on the first page had this 'MUST include romance' or 'romance is NON-NEGOTIABLE' which was so strange - especially when they also only did fandom roleplays exclusively, so like you mentioned throughout, the shipping priority was just in plain view - and honestly, super duper uncomfortable. Not a single one of them had even 'platonic' options, and when I did reach out with the ideas for platonic relations I was usually just ignored straight up (which honestly, makes the whole situation and implications EVEN MORE creepier) - I definitely agree that some parts of this site just feel like it's straight up cybering sometimes.

It sucks that we can't just take a chance and know its a 50/50 for like novella romance, or shipping focused romance. For some reason it feels like a 5/95 chance.

Additionally, I just wanted to say that I'm really in awe of your post I quoted here, because I would've broken down and replied in a graceless and floundering manner when I'm being mis-characterized as an extremist or elitist the way you were. It's RPN, it's an online forum, and it's impossible to not have run into all kinds of miscreants along the way who sour our experiences, which is definitely worthy of sharing with other people who have the ability to sympathize.

 

[AnnJam]

The disproportionate amount of negativity the romance genre gets in comparison to genres of equal trope heavy theming but are male dominated is astonishing. Your opinion is valid but it still hurts knowing people will call those who openly enjoy romance tropes unimaginative, lazy writers because we focus on telling stories through tropes, themes, and dynamics that aren't platonic.

 

[dear katara]

As someone who enjoys both romantic & platonic roleplays, I have to say that I've come across quite a lot of posts portraying writers who only want to write stories that include romance as 'less than' in some way. I don't think it's anyone's intention to put someone down but I do feel like there seems to be a little bit of a stigma hovering over people who strictly write romance, which can be quite unpleasant to read.

I'm not sure I understand how not responding to a PM that reaches out with suggestions you're not interested in is 'creepy'. Perhaps a little bit rude but that's about it, in my opinion.

I can understand that it would be frustrating to look for a platonic roleplay and have to list through search thread after search thread of requests for romance, but ultimately, people's desire to have romance in a story doesn't say anything about their character. Even if someone was to directly state 'I am only looking for romantic pairings, otherwise I think the story is boring' in their search thread, is that enough grounds to fill in the gaps with assumptions about how they perceive their characters? Even if things like this are aimed at a very small number of people, it can come across as a hurtful generalisation. Romance is really enjoyable for a lot of people, just like adventure is for others (not that they can't be mixed ♥‿♥)

Again, I'm not trying to suggest that anyone here was intending to put down people with differing interests but because this topic does tend to come up quite a bit (in a rather one sided way sometimes) it can be upsetting to feel like negative assumptions are made about certain writers for something that they enjoy! That's just my perspective though. Have a good day everyone (｡◕‿◕｡).

 

[Nihilum]

Honestly, why is everyone getting so heated about what other people want and prefer? If you don't like romance, that's fine. Don't reach out to people saying they want it. If you do want romance, don't reach out to people who only want platonic plots. It's not that hard. Unless someone is being blatantly -phobic in some way, their preferences literally do not affect your search in partners, because no matter how hard you scream and stomp your feet at them, you're not going to change their mind. Move on. Relax. RPN is an enormous site that receives five times the amount of traffic that smaller RP locations receive.

It may take time, but make your own RP request and make your boundaries clear; this is the best way to get partners without having to fight tooth and claw over who wants what. The desire for instant gratification and being unwilling to wait for the right person is what leads us to these fights over preferences in the first place. I've waited months to find someone who met my specific criteria for a specific plot before.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Exactly. We all find certain things off putting in search threads. As long as I am not PMing the person directly and harassing them what does it matter why I click the back button?

It isn’t hurting anyone for me to just say “Yeah this person isn’t for me.”

 

[saniachan]

"NO ROMANCE INVOLVED!!! I won't hesitate to kill my character off once you go even smutty on them, thus ending the RP right there. You have been warned."

Does that count as being rude in a 1x1 partner search thread? Or is it just the thread owner setting their boundaries there?

And for the record, it's actually my personal stand about romantic RPs.

 

[nerdy tangents]

"NO ROMANCE INVOLVED!!! I won't hesitate to kill my character off once you go even smutty on them, thus ending the RP right there. You have been warned."

Does that count as being rude in a 1x1 partner search thread? Or is it just the thread owner setting their boundaries there?

And for the record, it's actually my personal stand about romantic RPs.

lol I mean the caps and bold might be a little excessive.

I usually use just say “Platonic pairings preferred” and then don’t list any pairings. That is enough to keep shippers from contacting me.