Opinion What do you think of asexuality and aromantics?

[Scattered Ambitions]

Now you've lost me. I don't actually think this is a real thing. If it is, it has to be a hormone defficiency. 

It's an orientation. For example, take me. I am asexual. However, I have a high libido, but I have never been interested in acting on it with another person. I have my fantasies, but when a real actual person is inserted into said fantasies, they lose their appeal.

 

[Shireling]

It's an orientation. For example, take me. I am asexual. However, I have a high libido, but I have never been interesting in acting on it with another person. I have my fantasies, but when a real actual person is inserted into said fantasies, they lose their appeal.

...what? What kind of mind game are you playing with yourself? 

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

...what? What kind of mind game are you playing with yourself? 

None. I just experience no sexual attraction to people.

 

[Count Gensokyo]

It's an orientation. For example, take me. I am asexual. However, I have a high libido, but I have never been interested in acting on it with another person. I have my fantasies, but when a real actual person is inserted into said fantasies, they lose their appeal.

I honestly understand even less now, and I'm further inclined to think this term, in the way it was defined, doesn't actually exist.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

Just now, Captain Gensokyo said:





I honestly understand even less now, and I'm further inclined to think this term, in the way it was defined, doesn't actually exist.




 

I'm not great at explaining. Read the article.


http://www.medicaldaily.com/asexuality-real-how-rare-orientation-helps-us-understand-human-sexuality-332346

 

[Shireling]

None. I just experience no sexual attraction to people.

Listen, you can't have a high libido (sex drive) and then claim to be asexual. That makes it sound like an act of willful suppression. Which is not bad, but does not constitute an orientation as gay people define an orientation. 

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

http://www.asexuality.org/

 

[Shireling]

Listen, I read your article and the scientists essentially say it's due to physiological factors that constitute a disorder, but for whatever reason they have decided to reclassify it an orientation because... I dunno, equality or some shit. Despite what the article says, feeling no sexual attraction cannot be a normal, natural phenomenon, otherwise the humans that carried the associated genes would have died out long ago. This is just people slapping the "gay label" (I use this term losely) on every sexual pathology. 


I'm also inclined to suggest that the doctor mentioned in the study got her doctorate from a cereal box because of this quote: 


[COLOR= rgb(51, 51, 51)]“I have fantasies about being with a woman, but I’ve never been with a woman, and I can’t imagine it.” [/COLOR]


This statement is fundamentally oxymoronic and anyone with half a brain can see that. 


While I don't doubt you are sincerely asexual, you cannot convince me this is an orientation on par with homosexuality. 

 

[Pine]

... I'm genuinely afraid of the direction that this thread will head.


I'm going to speak more for asexuality than aromanticism, just because this is something I've thought about more, but what I have to say is probably applicable to both sides.


Um... for those that are confused about what it means to not experiencing sexual attraction... I've come to understand sexual attraction as a specific type of physical attraction where the source of attraction brings arousing thoughts, especially in terms with sexual activities you would want to do with that person. So like, in more simple terms, it's looking at someone and someone and just thinking "whoa that's someone I'd like to bone."


What Scattered is talking about with having a high libido is that she has an undirected libido. You can have sexual fantasies without having a specific person in mind [that attributes to that arousal]. Asexual people can take care of any sexual needs they may have on their own without needing someone else.


Then... asexuality is a useful label to differentiate from sexual disorders. While it may very well be a case of hormone imbalance (I suspect my own asexuality/low libido is a direct result of low dopamine from having ADHD[/trust issues/gender dysphoria]), the purpose in distinguishing asexuality as an orientation is that ace people don't have any discomfort from their lack of attraction (or low libido in the case of people with that). I hope that helps explain it all a little. Like you can say that there's something inherently out of whack with people experiencing the feelings of ace/aro people, but being ace/aro doesn't harm anyone and/or cause psychological discomfort for the individual identifying with the orientation, so there it's not something that needs to be "cured," ergo there's nothing wrong with being that way.


I distinguish ace/aro problems from LGBT problems because I see ace/aro problems as an individual thing. You can't really discriminate against someone for being like that in the work place, but it would nice if it were more visible/noticed more to raise awareness (for people that may be ace/aro without knowing it) and help with relationships and stuff. It can be very harmful on both sides of the relationship that an ace/aro person may enter in if they don't know they're ace/aro, because it can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, etc.


I've been personally pressured into things I did not want to do and presently regret ever doing because my partner at the time thought it was a lack of maturity on my part, that something was wrong with me and that it should be fixed, which made me doubt enough to buy into the idea. I'm sure I'm not the only person that has had that experience, and I like to believe that if more people knew about asexuality/aromanticism and it was accepted as something that isn't unhealthy/abnormal, situations like that may be prevented.


Sloppy explanation at the end because I had to leave while writing this. I think it's mostly fixed, but if there's something I said that doesn't make sense please do let me know lol.

 

[Kazehana]

I really don't think that this was an appropriate topic for an open forum in the first place.  While I don't see this as that controversial, the more passionate people will become very involved in a pointless loop of explanations.  The people who know you are the only ones that should matter.

 

[Shireling]

Listen, if a genuine scientist (the one mentioned in the article) can't explain this without sounding like a fool, I doubt you can persuade me this isn't some sort of crackpottery.

 

[Kazehana]

Listen, if a genuine scientist (the one mentioned in the article) can't explain this without sounding like a fool, I doubt you can persuade me this isn't some sort of crackpottery.

Please stop.  I find what you're saying offensive and it's not helping anyone.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

20 minutes ago, Kazehana said:



I really don't think that this was an appropriate topic for an open forum in the first place.  While I don't see this as that controversial, the more passionate people will become very involved in a pointless loop of explanations.  The people who know you are the only ones that should matter.




 

I could take it down, I suppose.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

24 minutes ago, Pine said:



... I'm genuinely afraid of the direction that this thread will head.


I'm going to speak more for asexuality than aromanticism, just because this is something I've thought about more, but what I have to say is probably applicable to both sides.


Um... for those that are confused about what it means to not experiencing sexual attraction... I've come to understand sexual attraction as a specific type of physical attraction where the source of attraction brings arousing thoughts, especially in terms with sexual activities you would want to do with that person. So like, in more simple terms, it's looking at someone and someone and just thinking "whoa that's someone I'd like to bone."


What Scattered is talking about with having a high libido is that she has an undirected libido. You can have sexual fantasies without having a specific person in mind [that attributes to that arousal]. Asexual people can take care of any sexual needs they may have on their own without needing someone else.


Then... asexuality is a useful label to differentiate from sexual disorders. While it may very well be a case of hormone imbalance (I suspect my own asexuality/low libido is a direct result of low dopamine from having ADHD[/trust issues/gender dysphoria]), the purpose in distinguishing asexuality as an orientation is that ace people don't have any discomfort from their lack of attraction (or low libido in the case of people with that). I hope that helps explain it all a little.


I distinguish ace/aro problems from LGBT problems because I see ace/aro problems as an individual thing. You can't really discriminate against someone for being like that in the work place, but it would nice if it were more visible/noticed more to raise awareness (for people that may be ace/aro without knowing it) and help with relationships and stuff. (Sloppy explanation at the end bc I have to go rn but I can elaborate when I get back if need be.)




 

This is the best explanation I've seen in a while. Thank you.

 

[Shireling]

Remove it if you like, but I stand by my rationality, even if it is to the detriment of someone's feelings.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

Remove it if you like, but I stand by my rationality, even if it is to the detriment of someone's feelings.

I'm probably not going to remove it. As I stated in the original post, I enjoy hearing others opinions, even when they differ with mine. 

 

[Shireling]

I'm probably not going to remove it. As I stated in the original post, I enjoy hearing others opinions, even when they differ with mine. 

You're a better man/woman/seahorse (equality!) than most.

 

[spookie]

...this is only going to end in tears, arguments and a bad time all around.


that said, i'm one of those mythic aromantic asexuals. in my case, i have absolutely zero libido and the idea of being 'turned on' is completely alien to me... i cannot wrap my head around it, but i'm also not denying it exists. 


i'd write a long and in-depth reply, but it's just not worth getting into an argument. if you want to believe i don't exist, you do that.

 

[Kazehana]

Remove it if you like, but I stand by my rationality, even if it is to the detriment of someone's feelings.

You can rationalize something without being rude.

seahorse (equality!)

This, for example, is rude and did not need to be included for any reason.  This doesn't even have to do with the topic, just the way you present your information.

 

[Count Gensokyo]

I'm really just going to bow out since I have nothing else to add. I've been failed to be convinced that "asexuality", in the way it is defined, really exists. 


Fedora tip, neckbeard scrub, moonwalk out the door, and all that.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@spookie spook Just wondering, no offense meant by this, are you sex repulsed? I know some of the ace-aro community are.

 

[spookie]

@Scattered Ambitions


no offense taken! i would definitely say i am, the idea of sex in general is ...extremely unpleasant, to put it politely. i'd rather stick needles in my eyes, and that's not an exaggeration. i just can't understand why anyone would want or enjoy it, but i won't ever judge those who do, that's their choice.

 

[Axiom Days]

Well, personally, I think human beings as a specie are hard-wired to re-produce, or in general have a sex drive. The idea of not having one seems completely alien to me. I dunno.

 

[Kazehana]

Well, personally, I think human beings as a specie are hard-wired to re-produce, or in general have a sex drive. The idea of not having one seems completely alien to me. I dunno.

The desire to have sex is completely alien to us too.  This isn't a concept that can be explained, and I think we just need to accept that and acknowledge our naivety.  As they say, there is a certain bliss to ignorance.  Happiness and coexistence comes from letting the trivial details go and loving each other for who we are.


... I sound like a hippie D:

 

[Icerex]

You can rationalize something without being rude.


This, for example, is rude and did not need to be included for any reason.  This doesn't even have to do with the topic, just the way you present your information.

How is he being rude? There are actual people that would identify as such. Not saying how we should take the idiotic 'otherkin' community seriously and classify what they feel as a gender/sexual orientation, but then again, the same thing could be said about all these new-fangled genders that people keep inventing to explain, what amounts to, their feelings.