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Realistic or Modern TysonQuest

Gilzar said:
>Gun it! Crank up whatever kick-ass music this truck has, push the gas pedal as far in as it will go and zoom across the Savannah! Real men make their own path!
Click to expand...

Put the pedal to the metal and do it to it! GUN IT!!

That hippopotamus is gonna pay! (For what, I have no idea) but he's gonna PAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! 8D
 
>Gun it! Crank up whatever kick-ass music this truck has, push the gas pedal as far in as it will go and zoom across the Savannah! Real men make their own path!
 
>Find the nearest, most badass road and follow it! We can go super fast on roads and won't have to ask for directions!
 
>Climb a giant, Lion King like rock and look for the Congo! Some epic Disney music will play while looking at the view! 👊👊
 
No roads, no problem! Real men make their own path! That's why Tyson didn't hesitate to floor it and zoom across the Savannah to the tune of Africa by Toto. The jeep rocked back and fourth, side to side, and up and down as it barreled across the hot Savannah, like a bat out of hell! Metal bashed, and there were sounds of metal warping as Tyson continued to hit almost every bump, rock, and small critter in his path.

After enduring a 20 minute pounding, where they could actually feel their brains bashing against the inside of their skull, they spoke up.

"Slow down!" They all shouted in protest as their heads bashed against the sides of their seat.

"WHAT?!" Tyson responded, unable to hear them over the roar of the engine. He turned his head behind him to try and figure out what these weaklings were bickering about.

"Slow down!" They all shouted in unison.

Mike Tyson shook his head in disgust, and the former champion turned his head back to the steering wheel. Immediately he let out a gasp.

"HOLY THIT!!!!!"

Directly in front of them sat a large boulder, much too large and steep to ramp off of and not afraid of big cars like the previous ones. Tyson tried to utilize his cat-like reflexes and god-like strength to try and turn away, but he couldn't get a firm enough grip with his boxing gloves on to turn the wheel. Not wanting to stick around and find out what would happen next, Tyson ignored the screams of his passengers and leaped out of the car. Just in time too, as the jeep slammed into the rock, destroying the front end and hurling the jeep over on its back.

Screen Shot 2018-11-01 at 6.04.42 PM.png

Now the Safari car is in a wreck, and the song Africa by Toto has stopped playing. His four feeble passengers now have hurt feelings and won't stop complaining about their backs, arms, and legs hurting.

"Thorry...."



The former champion of the world is now closer to his goal, but his means of transportation is now gone. Our hero is still very far away from any known river, and the Savannah is a dangerous place. Tyson has walked away from the motor accident with just a few cuts and bruises, but the rest of the caravan is in rough shape and may not be able to walk the entire trip. Hippopotamus is still out there and could be terrorizing people at this very moment, so time cannot be wasted! What should our next course of action be?

>Suck it up and walk. Who cares if not everyone makes it?

>Call Jake from State Farm, he always knows what to do!

>Construct a sled from the wreckage, and have the passengers pull it like those snow dogs in that one movie in the place that's really big and cold!

>Punch the nearest passenger. That'll help their feelings real quick!

 
>Call Jake from State Farm, he always knows what to do!

Save them passengers! Mike Tyson leaves no one behind!

(I'm laughing my butt off)
 
>Construct a sled from the wreckage, and have the passengers pull it like those snow dogs in that one movie in the place that's really big and cold!
 
As much as I am tempted to just unleash our frustrations on the nearest passenger, the only logical course of action would be to
>Call Jake from State Farm

(Good to see quest logs getting more traffic, hopefully this will encourage more people to participate)
 
>Call Jake from State Farm, he always knows what to do!
 
Being the rational, intelligent man that he was, Mike Tyson decided that the best course of action is to call Jake from State Farm. However, Mike quickly came to the realization that he had no cell phone.

"How am I thuppothed' to call thstate farm is I don't have a phone!"

"Do the jingle!" One of the caravan members shouts. "Yeah, yeah! Do the jingle!"

Tyson sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Like a good neighbor....thstate farm ith there!"

"Oh hey, what's up bro?" Jake from State Farm asked as he teleported in from out of the blue.

Screen Shot 2018-11-02 at 9.50.41 AM.png

"Woah!" Jake muttered as he looked around at his surroundings. "I've never been to Africa before...."

"Jake!" Tyson cheered joyfully, running up to jake and putting his hands on his shoulders. "I need your help! My vehicleth crathed!"

"Is that so...?" Jake peered over his shoulder. "Yeah.....uh......I'm pretty sure that's not your car. You drive a priu-"

"STHHHHHH. Don't let everyone know!"

"Okay.....uh...pretty sure you stole that. Might have to call the cops....WAIT, GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT THING! THE ROCK IS MOVING!"

Jake from State Farm shrieked like a banshee, and backed up his swivel chair. Tyson raised his eyebrow curiously, wondering what kind of stuff this man was on and if he may perhaps acquire some in the near future.

Jake from State Farm pointed at the rock. "KILL THAT THING, IT'S UGLY. DO THAT AND I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

Tyson shrugged again. "OK!"

He then turned, raised his hands and mortal combat with this rock.

Screen Shot 2018-11-02 at 9.31.27 AM.png
​


Our hero has found himself in a battle to the death with a moving, talking rock that refers to itself as Geodude! This thing is ugly and destroyed the jeep, and Jake from State Farm has demanded its blood sacrifice in return for good insurance benefits. Therefore it must be destroyed! What will out next course of action be?

>FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! DESOLATE THIS VOLATILE CREATURE FROM THE SANDS OF THIS EARTH!

>USE AN ITEM!

>SELECT ANOTHER POKEMON (Note: All other members of the caravan are weakened at this point)

>RUN


 
>FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! DESOLATE THIS VOLATILE CREATURE FROM THE SANDS OF THIS EARTH!
 
>FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! DESOLATE THIS VOLATILE CREATURE FROM THE SANDS OF THIS EARTH!
 
>FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! DESOLATE THIS VOLATILE CREATURE FROM THE SANDS OF THIS EARTH!
 
>SELECT ANOTHER POKEMON
Of course! Someone else can die for this cause! Mike Tyson clearly doesn't care about the lives of others, since he crashed into a fucking rock and badly wounded the passengers, so why not murder them all like a psychopath?

Also, did he kill the guide? I feel like uppercutting him with the force of Superman and then hitting his head on a rock killed him, which means that Mike Tyson committed first-degree murder. Is anyone gonna bring this up? Hello?
 
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