jones573
gen, you viper
Location: Redhill Castle, Royal Apartments
Interacting: Meera and Avery, Avery and Maxwell
Timing: (Time passes w/in post but majority happens the evening of the day after the hunt festival has ended)
She was late, despite her best and most reasonable efforts, given that she could not very well run; what a scandal that would be, to see the Queen hiking up her skirts and running out into the yard. The Archery competition however did not suffer overmuch for it and the festivities continued. On the third day, it had been Lady Veora who had won the prize after all, Meera had never seen her so determined to win; and perhaps that had been in effort to impress a certain Baroness she had danced with the night before? Who could really know but Veora?
Meera was successful in compartmentalizing the earlier fiasco to be dealt with later while she attended to the festivities with vigor, and in avoiding moments alone with the king in the meantime. If it was curious that they never got to go riding like Avery wanted, as she just seemed to be much too occupied, well, she could easily deny that it had been by careful design couldnât she? She was a Queen, with a Queenâs duties to the⌠um. To the festival. Which was now⌠over.
Perhaps late into the third night when she finally went to their room to promptly fall asleep it had not been quite, technically, over. Or the next morning when she woke up late and a little bit hung over, having drunk quite heavily for the closing of the festival and to avoid feeling anything ridiculous like anxiety about sleeping in the same bed with her own husband. Perhaps that morning in particular there was an excuse not to talk very much. A small extension to the festivalâs ending. But now it was evening time and Meera was quite sure her relative unease and quiet contemplation had been noticed, or something indeed had been noticed. Her husband was squirming in his seat while she barely touched her food. The diner was getting uncomfortable for her, and it must be for him.
She wanted to go back to when they were having a good time with each other, back to when they were getting close and kissing and beginning to understand one another. That hardly seemed like a thing they could do unless she resolved what was going on in their bedroom however. Or the lack of what was going on. So far her best guess was that he hadnât wanted to show her his back, that he was self conscious of it, and so he didnât feel he could be intimate with her without her seeing it. Whatever the reason, they needed to talk about it. To move forward. Without, hopefully, mortifying and insulting any more of his close friends and family. She couldnât let something like that happen again. The disastrous morning that had been had cost her a few years off of her life, and surely that of her ladyâs too.
âI⌠spoke with Lord Emerson.â Meera began carefully, putting down her fork and giving up on eating, instead reaching for her goblet and taking a gulp of wine. A long gulp.
âTwo days ago, in the morning. And I thinkâŚâ She stared at the stable space between them, seemingly transfixed by the pretty designs in the wood, âI think that I may have upset him a great deal.â
Avery looked up from his picked-over plate, surprised. He had suspected something was bothering her, but heâd no idea what it might be. At first heâd thought it was about the festival- But it had gone quite well, and heâd told her so. Perhaps he should have been more public with his praise? But he had participated in all the ways a king ought to and enjoyed himself, without being overbearing about it- As though he had every confidence in his wifeâs ability to entertain their court (which he did) and did not need to coerce anyone into pretending to have fun.
Maybe someone had said or done something that had upset her? He was a little hurt that she hadnât brought it to his attention, but he supposed he often liked to think on things before he brought them up, so perhaps she was much the same. Which was fine.
It occurred to him that he might also be reading too much into it- That his recent hyperawareness of Meera and her happiness (or lack of) was causing him to second-guess every observation. But he was fairly certain that something had changed. She seemed distracted, and didnât return his smiles. Or his kisses. When heâd gone to kiss her cheek in greeting before theyâd started dinner, she hadnât even tilted her head to give him better access.
There was of course the possibility that no one was to blame at all. The recent mismatch of her public and private personas reminded him of how Grace behaved during her monthlies- She claimed it became so uncomfortably draining to be nice to courtiers that she wasnât going to put any effort into being kind to her brother. Avery supposed he should be flattered, then, that Meera considered him someone she did not need to expand effort on.
(He was absolutely not hurt, to think that the casual affection theyâd been developing was a performance, the way Grace sometimes laughed at jokes that werenât all that funny. Heâd been the one to start that performance, heâd reminded himself.)
So after all the work heâd put into overthinking her behavior, and his decision to simply ride it out until it passed or she decided to share, it was somewhat of a surprise to hear her bring up Emerson of all people. And that she had upset him, instead of the other way around.
âIâm sure-â - That isnât the case, was what he had been about to say. He had asked Emerson to be a friend to Meera, and even if he hadnât, he couldnât imagine Meera doing something that would really have offended the easy-going redhead.
But he didnât want to be dismissive of her concerns. And he supposed he might see where she had gotten them.
âBecause he did not make many appearances at the celebrations? That is not a reflection on you,â Avery tried to assure her. âEmerson has never cared for hunting, he rarely attends them. And he often finds⌠Other ways to entertain himself during festivities.â
âNoâŚâ Meera looked around, trying to think how to best put it delicately or spare him the details altogether. But then again, if she did spare him the details and swept it under the rug perhaps he wouldnât take the rest of what she had to say with enough weight, or misunderstand it as something that his friend betrayed his confidence over rather than something his friend saw as necessary. As embarrassing as the fiasco had been, it pointed to a lack of forthcoming that Meera was a bit resentful of.
Bad things were inevitably going to happen when he kept things from her, she needed him to understand that. She also needed him to work with her rather than attempt to manage her, as she suspected he was doing.
He had been expecting to see the bastard lord a bit more on the third day, but it wasnât worrying that he hadnât- Avery assumed that whatever Emerson had gotten up to on the second day had proven interesting and enjoyable enough to continue. His guards or his manservant would have reported to Roysa and to Avery if Emerson had gone into town, so Avery was not overly concerned.
âBut I will talk to him nonetheless, if you would like,â Avery offered, relieved that whatever was bothering Meera had a clear solution. Patching things up between his friend and his queen was not only a clear solution, but likely an easy one too. âWhatever may have passed- I know you were not malevolent in your intent,â he said kindly. âEmerson will realize that, too.â
âWell, I wasnât malevolent in my intent no.â She gave a half hearted smile at him, tilting her head and finally looking at him, âBut that doesnât mean that I did not cause him pain⌠you can have the best of intentions, but still end up causing a lot of pain to someone⌠Avery.â She said pointedly.
Avery took a sip from his wine. She seemed⌠Displeased at him? Which seemed wrong, if she was the one who had offended Emerson.
âThat is... True,â he allowed with a nod. âIâm sure he will forgive you, though. Can I ask⌠What is it you discussed, that you think so upset him?â
He was never going to get it was he? Why were men so thick headed? Very well, Meera acquiesced, âWe spoke about your supposed affair with him, and I attempted to negotiate terms to live peaceably with your mistress of choice in a vain attempt to save myself from ending up like Queens that have come before me.â She put it bluntly, smiling bitterly.
Avery nearly dropped his cup.
âIâm- Iâm not having an affair with Emerson!,â he protested in shock. âIâm not having an affair with anyone! Why would I- Why would you even think that?â
He regretted that as soon as he said it- Half the court had thought it at one point or another, and though those rumors had died down, he supposed spreading them to Meera was too juicy of a prospect to pass up for some courtier or another.
âIâm sorry,â he said quickly, his hand making an abortive gesture as he drew it into a fist and tapped it on his chin. âPeople like to gossip, I suppose. But I can assure you- regardless of what you might hear- Emerson and I are extremely platonic.â
Meera blinked and patiently allowed him to sputter and exclaim. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a long sigh, glancing at the rug as if it held the answer to all their troubles.
âI know better than to pay credence to rumors, and as entertaining as they can be I hadnât thought anything of that particular one until one of my ladies saw Lord Emerson on top of you in a rather compromising position.â She looked to him once more, âLeading her to believe that you were sleeping with him. All things considered, with my practically throwing myself at you and being rebuffed that very night, what exactly was I supposed to think? I thought you had promised your lover to put off sleeping with your wife or something of the sort.â She heard herself sounding more irritated the more she spoke.
âThat doesnât even-â
âLet me finish.â She held up her hand, stopping Avery from interrupting her.
âSo my lady, in tears, had to tell me what she saw, and I thought the worst. It was quite painful you should know, to have to come to terms with that sort of thing when I was becoming very fond of you. It left me feeling like a hopeless fool.â Was her voice getting louder? She didnât care.
Avery was staring at her, confusion growing to shock.
âAnd then poor Lord Emerson, who I mortified, had to explain to me about your back. Which is something I am sure you were going to tell me on your own time but now has been made known to me because I wouldnât take his word for it that you werenât lovers after all.â
The shock gave way to a flash of anger, and he abruptly got out of his chair.
âAll because you wonât communicate with me Avery. You know what is in the contract. You know I am under pressure to produce heirs as soon as possible. If you had just told me that you were uncomfortable or something I wouldnât have pressed the issueâŚâ She finished, chest tight and flushed, clearly frustrated and venting.
âI was born early,â he snapped, pacing away from her. âOnly by a few weeks, but it was enough for accusations to delay my coronation. So youâll forgive me for not wanting âas soon as possibleâ.â
He could hardly decide what he was most upset about, but that at least he had an easy reply for.
Ah, that made sense, the implication that she could be with child while marrying another.
âBrutusâŚâ She closed her eyes, willing the sting away. It was for appearances sake, and he was smart to do it all things considered.
Averyâs eyes widened. âNo! Not- Nothing to do with him! I didnât think that,â he said hurriedly. âI just donât want our heirs to encounter any... Difficulties in that regard. With someone else thinking it.â
She nodded, though the sting didnât go away. It clung to her.
âInstead of an entire fiasco involving my ladies, my chancellor, Lord Emerson, and your closely guarded secret you could have just told me this. As much as it offends me I see it for the smart decision that it is.â Meera replied evenly, tilting her chin up, daring him to disagree with her assessment.
Avery couldnât think of an immediate reply to that- It wasnât a secret. (It was.) It was just⌠Something he didnât want to discuss or think about or have other people know about. And it was her choice to involve all those people, he thought bitterly.
âYou could have just asked,â he pointed out in turn.
âAsk a King who I now think keeps a mistress behind my back?â Meera deadpanned, wondering if heâd thought that one through. âI have no leverage there.â
âBut I donât have a mistress,â Avery tried to protest, though he supposed that was hardly a good point, since she hadnât known it.
âMy next step in that case is an attempt to reach a parley with your mistress, since I very much do not wish to end up like the Last Queen of Ruhar, powerless to do anything but yell at others who do not deserve it because she can not command her husbandâs mistress away and can not get him to be faithful. All the while chipping away at her own power and influence. Which is something I can not afford. And given I am called the peacemaker, a celebrated diplomat across the landâŚâ She gave him another pointed look, letting him infer the rest.
âWell, Iâm glad my âmistressâ was able to clarify things for you,â he said bitterly. âHow fortunate he was feeling so honest.â
âYou donât get to blame your âmistressâ for not communicating with your wife.â She scoffed, finding her own joke funny and hiding her smirk behind her goblet.
He supposed he didnât get to credit his mistress for doing the communication then, either.
âLord Emerson wouldâve laughed.â She narrowed her eyes at his expression, sighing and sitting back, wondering if she should just drink until she canât fuss anymore like yesterday. She drained her cup, how many cups had she had? Was this her third? She couldnât remember.
âI am not Lord Emerson,â he snarled angrily. âI am King Averett, and if in the future you would like to discuss the details of our physical relationship, you should direct your concerns to me.â
âOh I donât think thereâs anything to discuss my King.â She drawled slowly, deliberately, standing up to grab the wine pitcher, goblet in hand, and walked out. Making sure to slam the door behind her.
âWait-,â Avery began to call out, but he didnât finish. Even if heâd been able to come up with something to say, he doubted she was interested in listening.
Emerson had laughed, when Avery had ranted about the nobles trying to block his succession. âIf they donât think you are your fatherâs son,â he said dryly, looking idly at the remains of the vase Avery had thrown against the wall. âThen they havenât seen you angry.â
Well, shit.
How had he managed to botch that up so spectacularly? Emerson had been right- Meera had been right, too. He should have talked to her about this before⌠Well, before it became an issue. But even so- His reasoning had been sound. How had he managed not to express any of it?
Heâd gotten so much better at speaking and controlling himself and the conversation since heâd become Elionâs heir and- And as soon as Meera was unhappy, it all went out the window.
He ran through the conversation in his head once, then a second time. He had been⌠Well, it had been a little unfair of her to spring that all at him, but he had responded like an ass, so.
Maybe if he went into his study, got some ink and wrote things down- And how long would that take? How much longer would he postpone it, if he let himself? It had been more than half a dozen minutes now, and she was probably growing more angry with him. Better to do it now.
His footfalls were heavy on his way upstairs, but their bedroom was empty. He crossed to her solar and knocked on the door.
âMay I come in,â he asked quietly. â...I would like to apologize. And explain if you will let me, what little amounts to my thoughts,â he said with a self deprecating smile.
No response came.
âMeera?â He tried a little louder this time, but he was pretty sure the lack of answer wasnât because she hadnât heard him.
âMeera, I am sorry,â he said, resting his forehead against the doorframe. âI reacted⌠Poorly. I was upset, but I should have heard you out. You deserve that.â
She deserved more than that, he knew, but he wasnât even sure if she was listening.
âIâll sleep downstairs tonight, all right,â he said. â... We can talk in the morning?â
Again, no answer, though little to his knowledge this time it was because the listener was crying silently, messily. And she didnât want him to see that, she simply felt too vulnerable for it. So sniffing and drinking more seemed to be the only answer she could give.
Avery sighed and ran a hand over his face, then set off to find a servant.
By the time he returned to the dining room, Maxwell was already clearing the table.
âAh- Wait,â Avery said, grabbing a plate and filling it with fruit and crackers and other things that would keep if left out, before allowing the manservant to continue.
âI was getting up early to watch the Queensguard practice tomorrow, wasnât I?â
Maxwell nodded. âAnd then Lady Roysa was going to join you both for a late breakfast.â
âCancel breakfast with my aunt,â Avery said. âAnd tell Captain Harpe I trust her judgement of her team- If she wants my advice on anything, she knows where to find me.â
Maxwell nodded, waiting further instruction or for his King to leave.
Avery frowned, thinking. âHave the kitchens made any sort of dessert with citrus lately? Orange curd maybe?â
Maxwell thought for a moment. âIâm not sure, but I believe I saw some of those lemon cookies, with the blueberries? But Iâm sure orange curd could be made if you would like-â
âNo, no, thatâs fine,â Avery said. He wasnât actually sure what Meera liked best, but heâd noted that when it came to sweets- and other things- she seemed to go for citrus more often than not. âIf you could have a maid fetch some of those cookies, and then bring them and this plate to Her Majesty in an hour or so? And a pitcher of ice water,â he added. Hopefully it might still be cold by the time she drank it.
Maxwell nodded. If he found any of this odd, he did not say so. âAnything else, Your Majesty?â
âCould you get a note to Emerson- Just to say that he was right, but I will be handling it,â Avery said, and Maxwellâs eyebrow rose with the left corner of his lips. âAnd if we could have a hearty breakfast tomorrow- if thereâs anything the cooks have noticed that Her Majesty particularly likes- that would be wonderful,â he added.
He had admittedly not noted much about her breakfast habits, on account of the fact that he was not very observant until he had finished his own.
âThat will be all, I think. Thank you,â Avery told Maxwell, and the servant bowed slightly at the dismissal.
âHave a pleasant night, Your Majesty,â he said, as Avery crossed the dining room to his own study.
Not likely, he thought.
Interacting: Meera and Avery, Avery and Maxwell
Timing: (Time passes w/in post but majority happens the evening of the day after the hunt festival has ended)
She was late, despite her best and most reasonable efforts, given that she could not very well run; what a scandal that would be, to see the Queen hiking up her skirts and running out into the yard. The Archery competition however did not suffer overmuch for it and the festivities continued. On the third day, it had been Lady Veora who had won the prize after all, Meera had never seen her so determined to win; and perhaps that had been in effort to impress a certain Baroness she had danced with the night before? Who could really know but Veora?
Meera was successful in compartmentalizing the earlier fiasco to be dealt with later while she attended to the festivities with vigor, and in avoiding moments alone with the king in the meantime. If it was curious that they never got to go riding like Avery wanted, as she just seemed to be much too occupied, well, she could easily deny that it had been by careful design couldnât she? She was a Queen, with a Queenâs duties to the⌠um. To the festival. Which was now⌠over.
Perhaps late into the third night when she finally went to their room to promptly fall asleep it had not been quite, technically, over. Or the next morning when she woke up late and a little bit hung over, having drunk quite heavily for the closing of the festival and to avoid feeling anything ridiculous like anxiety about sleeping in the same bed with her own husband. Perhaps that morning in particular there was an excuse not to talk very much. A small extension to the festivalâs ending. But now it was evening time and Meera was quite sure her relative unease and quiet contemplation had been noticed, or something indeed had been noticed. Her husband was squirming in his seat while she barely touched her food. The diner was getting uncomfortable for her, and it must be for him.
She wanted to go back to when they were having a good time with each other, back to when they were getting close and kissing and beginning to understand one another. That hardly seemed like a thing they could do unless she resolved what was going on in their bedroom however. Or the lack of what was going on. So far her best guess was that he hadnât wanted to show her his back, that he was self conscious of it, and so he didnât feel he could be intimate with her without her seeing it. Whatever the reason, they needed to talk about it. To move forward. Without, hopefully, mortifying and insulting any more of his close friends and family. She couldnât let something like that happen again. The disastrous morning that had been had cost her a few years off of her life, and surely that of her ladyâs too.
âI⌠spoke with Lord Emerson.â Meera began carefully, putting down her fork and giving up on eating, instead reaching for her goblet and taking a gulp of wine. A long gulp.
âTwo days ago, in the morning. And I thinkâŚâ She stared at the stable space between them, seemingly transfixed by the pretty designs in the wood, âI think that I may have upset him a great deal.â
Avery looked up from his picked-over plate, surprised. He had suspected something was bothering her, but heâd no idea what it might be. At first heâd thought it was about the festival- But it had gone quite well, and heâd told her so. Perhaps he should have been more public with his praise? But he had participated in all the ways a king ought to and enjoyed himself, without being overbearing about it- As though he had every confidence in his wifeâs ability to entertain their court (which he did) and did not need to coerce anyone into pretending to have fun.
Maybe someone had said or done something that had upset her? He was a little hurt that she hadnât brought it to his attention, but he supposed he often liked to think on things before he brought them up, so perhaps she was much the same. Which was fine.
It occurred to him that he might also be reading too much into it- That his recent hyperawareness of Meera and her happiness (or lack of) was causing him to second-guess every observation. But he was fairly certain that something had changed. She seemed distracted, and didnât return his smiles. Or his kisses. When heâd gone to kiss her cheek in greeting before theyâd started dinner, she hadnât even tilted her head to give him better access.
There was of course the possibility that no one was to blame at all. The recent mismatch of her public and private personas reminded him of how Grace behaved during her monthlies- She claimed it became so uncomfortably draining to be nice to courtiers that she wasnât going to put any effort into being kind to her brother. Avery supposed he should be flattered, then, that Meera considered him someone she did not need to expand effort on.
(He was absolutely not hurt, to think that the casual affection theyâd been developing was a performance, the way Grace sometimes laughed at jokes that werenât all that funny. Heâd been the one to start that performance, heâd reminded himself.)
So after all the work heâd put into overthinking her behavior, and his decision to simply ride it out until it passed or she decided to share, it was somewhat of a surprise to hear her bring up Emerson of all people. And that she had upset him, instead of the other way around.
âIâm sure-â - That isnât the case, was what he had been about to say. He had asked Emerson to be a friend to Meera, and even if he hadnât, he couldnât imagine Meera doing something that would really have offended the easy-going redhead.
But he didnât want to be dismissive of her concerns. And he supposed he might see where she had gotten them.
âBecause he did not make many appearances at the celebrations? That is not a reflection on you,â Avery tried to assure her. âEmerson has never cared for hunting, he rarely attends them. And he often finds⌠Other ways to entertain himself during festivities.â
âNoâŚâ Meera looked around, trying to think how to best put it delicately or spare him the details altogether. But then again, if she did spare him the details and swept it under the rug perhaps he wouldnât take the rest of what she had to say with enough weight, or misunderstand it as something that his friend betrayed his confidence over rather than something his friend saw as necessary. As embarrassing as the fiasco had been, it pointed to a lack of forthcoming that Meera was a bit resentful of.
Bad things were inevitably going to happen when he kept things from her, she needed him to understand that. She also needed him to work with her rather than attempt to manage her, as she suspected he was doing.
He had been expecting to see the bastard lord a bit more on the third day, but it wasnât worrying that he hadnât- Avery assumed that whatever Emerson had gotten up to on the second day had proven interesting and enjoyable enough to continue. His guards or his manservant would have reported to Roysa and to Avery if Emerson had gone into town, so Avery was not overly concerned.
âBut I will talk to him nonetheless, if you would like,â Avery offered, relieved that whatever was bothering Meera had a clear solution. Patching things up between his friend and his queen was not only a clear solution, but likely an easy one too. âWhatever may have passed- I know you were not malevolent in your intent,â he said kindly. âEmerson will realize that, too.â
âWell, I wasnât malevolent in my intent no.â She gave a half hearted smile at him, tilting her head and finally looking at him, âBut that doesnât mean that I did not cause him pain⌠you can have the best of intentions, but still end up causing a lot of pain to someone⌠Avery.â She said pointedly.
Avery took a sip from his wine. She seemed⌠Displeased at him? Which seemed wrong, if she was the one who had offended Emerson.
âThat is... True,â he allowed with a nod. âIâm sure he will forgive you, though. Can I ask⌠What is it you discussed, that you think so upset him?â
He was never going to get it was he? Why were men so thick headed? Very well, Meera acquiesced, âWe spoke about your supposed affair with him, and I attempted to negotiate terms to live peaceably with your mistress of choice in a vain attempt to save myself from ending up like Queens that have come before me.â She put it bluntly, smiling bitterly.
Avery nearly dropped his cup.
âIâm- Iâm not having an affair with Emerson!,â he protested in shock. âIâm not having an affair with anyone! Why would I- Why would you even think that?â
He regretted that as soon as he said it- Half the court had thought it at one point or another, and though those rumors had died down, he supposed spreading them to Meera was too juicy of a prospect to pass up for some courtier or another.
âIâm sorry,â he said quickly, his hand making an abortive gesture as he drew it into a fist and tapped it on his chin. âPeople like to gossip, I suppose. But I can assure you- regardless of what you might hear- Emerson and I are extremely platonic.â
Meera blinked and patiently allowed him to sputter and exclaim. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a long sigh, glancing at the rug as if it held the answer to all their troubles.
âI know better than to pay credence to rumors, and as entertaining as they can be I hadnât thought anything of that particular one until one of my ladies saw Lord Emerson on top of you in a rather compromising position.â She looked to him once more, âLeading her to believe that you were sleeping with him. All things considered, with my practically throwing myself at you and being rebuffed that very night, what exactly was I supposed to think? I thought you had promised your lover to put off sleeping with your wife or something of the sort.â She heard herself sounding more irritated the more she spoke.
âThat doesnât even-â
âLet me finish.â She held up her hand, stopping Avery from interrupting her.
âSo my lady, in tears, had to tell me what she saw, and I thought the worst. It was quite painful you should know, to have to come to terms with that sort of thing when I was becoming very fond of you. It left me feeling like a hopeless fool.â Was her voice getting louder? She didnât care.
Avery was staring at her, confusion growing to shock.
âAnd then poor Lord Emerson, who I mortified, had to explain to me about your back. Which is something I am sure you were going to tell me on your own time but now has been made known to me because I wouldnât take his word for it that you werenât lovers after all.â
The shock gave way to a flash of anger, and he abruptly got out of his chair.
âAll because you wonât communicate with me Avery. You know what is in the contract. You know I am under pressure to produce heirs as soon as possible. If you had just told me that you were uncomfortable or something I wouldnât have pressed the issueâŚâ She finished, chest tight and flushed, clearly frustrated and venting.
âI was born early,â he snapped, pacing away from her. âOnly by a few weeks, but it was enough for accusations to delay my coronation. So youâll forgive me for not wanting âas soon as possibleâ.â
He could hardly decide what he was most upset about, but that at least he had an easy reply for.
Ah, that made sense, the implication that she could be with child while marrying another.
âBrutusâŚâ She closed her eyes, willing the sting away. It was for appearances sake, and he was smart to do it all things considered.
Averyâs eyes widened. âNo! Not- Nothing to do with him! I didnât think that,â he said hurriedly. âI just donât want our heirs to encounter any... Difficulties in that regard. With someone else thinking it.â
She nodded, though the sting didnât go away. It clung to her.
âInstead of an entire fiasco involving my ladies, my chancellor, Lord Emerson, and your closely guarded secret you could have just told me this. As much as it offends me I see it for the smart decision that it is.â Meera replied evenly, tilting her chin up, daring him to disagree with her assessment.
Avery couldnât think of an immediate reply to that- It wasnât a secret. (It was.) It was just⌠Something he didnât want to discuss or think about or have other people know about. And it was her choice to involve all those people, he thought bitterly.
âYou could have just asked,â he pointed out in turn.
âAsk a King who I now think keeps a mistress behind my back?â Meera deadpanned, wondering if heâd thought that one through. âI have no leverage there.â
âBut I donât have a mistress,â Avery tried to protest, though he supposed that was hardly a good point, since she hadnât known it.
âMy next step in that case is an attempt to reach a parley with your mistress, since I very much do not wish to end up like the Last Queen of Ruhar, powerless to do anything but yell at others who do not deserve it because she can not command her husbandâs mistress away and can not get him to be faithful. All the while chipping away at her own power and influence. Which is something I can not afford. And given I am called the peacemaker, a celebrated diplomat across the landâŚâ She gave him another pointed look, letting him infer the rest.
âWell, Iâm glad my âmistressâ was able to clarify things for you,â he said bitterly. âHow fortunate he was feeling so honest.â
âYou donât get to blame your âmistressâ for not communicating with your wife.â She scoffed, finding her own joke funny and hiding her smirk behind her goblet.
He supposed he didnât get to credit his mistress for doing the communication then, either.
âLord Emerson wouldâve laughed.â She narrowed her eyes at his expression, sighing and sitting back, wondering if she should just drink until she canât fuss anymore like yesterday. She drained her cup, how many cups had she had? Was this her third? She couldnât remember.
âI am not Lord Emerson,â he snarled angrily. âI am King Averett, and if in the future you would like to discuss the details of our physical relationship, you should direct your concerns to me.â
âOh I donât think thereâs anything to discuss my King.â She drawled slowly, deliberately, standing up to grab the wine pitcher, goblet in hand, and walked out. Making sure to slam the door behind her.
âWait-,â Avery began to call out, but he didnât finish. Even if heâd been able to come up with something to say, he doubted she was interested in listening.
Emerson had laughed, when Avery had ranted about the nobles trying to block his succession. âIf they donât think you are your fatherâs son,â he said dryly, looking idly at the remains of the vase Avery had thrown against the wall. âThen they havenât seen you angry.â
Well, shit.
How had he managed to botch that up so spectacularly? Emerson had been right- Meera had been right, too. He should have talked to her about this before⌠Well, before it became an issue. But even so- His reasoning had been sound. How had he managed not to express any of it?
Heâd gotten so much better at speaking and controlling himself and the conversation since heâd become Elionâs heir and- And as soon as Meera was unhappy, it all went out the window.
He ran through the conversation in his head once, then a second time. He had been⌠Well, it had been a little unfair of her to spring that all at him, but he had responded like an ass, so.
Maybe if he went into his study, got some ink and wrote things down- And how long would that take? How much longer would he postpone it, if he let himself? It had been more than half a dozen minutes now, and she was probably growing more angry with him. Better to do it now.
His footfalls were heavy on his way upstairs, but their bedroom was empty. He crossed to her solar and knocked on the door.
âMay I come in,â he asked quietly. â...I would like to apologize. And explain if you will let me, what little amounts to my thoughts,â he said with a self deprecating smile.
No response came.
âMeera?â He tried a little louder this time, but he was pretty sure the lack of answer wasnât because she hadnât heard him.
âMeera, I am sorry,â he said, resting his forehead against the doorframe. âI reacted⌠Poorly. I was upset, but I should have heard you out. You deserve that.â
She deserved more than that, he knew, but he wasnât even sure if she was listening.
âIâll sleep downstairs tonight, all right,â he said. â... We can talk in the morning?â
Again, no answer, though little to his knowledge this time it was because the listener was crying silently, messily. And she didnât want him to see that, she simply felt too vulnerable for it. So sniffing and drinking more seemed to be the only answer she could give.
Avery sighed and ran a hand over his face, then set off to find a servant.
By the time he returned to the dining room, Maxwell was already clearing the table.
âAh- Wait,â Avery said, grabbing a plate and filling it with fruit and crackers and other things that would keep if left out, before allowing the manservant to continue.
âI was getting up early to watch the Queensguard practice tomorrow, wasnât I?â
Maxwell nodded. âAnd then Lady Roysa was going to join you both for a late breakfast.â
âCancel breakfast with my aunt,â Avery said. âAnd tell Captain Harpe I trust her judgement of her team- If she wants my advice on anything, she knows where to find me.â
Maxwell nodded, waiting further instruction or for his King to leave.
Avery frowned, thinking. âHave the kitchens made any sort of dessert with citrus lately? Orange curd maybe?â
Maxwell thought for a moment. âIâm not sure, but I believe I saw some of those lemon cookies, with the blueberries? But Iâm sure orange curd could be made if you would like-â
âNo, no, thatâs fine,â Avery said. He wasnât actually sure what Meera liked best, but heâd noted that when it came to sweets- and other things- she seemed to go for citrus more often than not. âIf you could have a maid fetch some of those cookies, and then bring them and this plate to Her Majesty in an hour or so? And a pitcher of ice water,â he added. Hopefully it might still be cold by the time she drank it.
Maxwell nodded. If he found any of this odd, he did not say so. âAnything else, Your Majesty?â
âCould you get a note to Emerson- Just to say that he was right, but I will be handling it,â Avery said, and Maxwellâs eyebrow rose with the left corner of his lips. âAnd if we could have a hearty breakfast tomorrow- if thereâs anything the cooks have noticed that Her Majesty particularly likes- that would be wonderful,â he added.
He had admittedly not noted much about her breakfast habits, on account of the fact that he was not very observant until he had finished his own.
âThat will be all, I think. Thank you,â Avery told Maxwell, and the servant bowed slightly at the dismissal.
âHave a pleasant night, Your Majesty,â he said, as Avery crossed the dining room to his own study.
Not likely, he thought.