Fantasy The Worst Pantheon: Live and Reloaded (IC Thread) (OPEN)

[Churl]

Conversational



Helsa growled at the merchant God. "By Greatest Goddess, I mean that I am much, much better than ALL OF YOU! Look at this powerful and gorgeous form!"

Helsa then launched into an extremely lone winded rant glorifying herself that all the gods there had heard way too many time before. Until...



Until it seemed as if Rhubarion was about to hurt himself. "Break your face into shards so I can laugh at your pain!" She said 'encouragingly'.

A flower bounces off Helsa’s head when she’s not looking. Whether it is an appreciative or spiteful action is ambiguous, to say the least.

Conversational Post: Yimor'droth
Yimor'droth burbles lightly, Their slumbering vastness obscured by ripples of heat, a deep glow and blasts of steam. A massive pair of wings leak fire as they shuffle, and a trail of fiery drool trickles onto the floor. The Archangel Jophiel appears in a burst of fire, and levitates over to the gods.
"AS MY MASTER SLEEPS, I SHALL SPEAK IN THEIR STEAD."

Conversational Post: Assyrian
Assyrian jumps from his throne, landing in front of the angle with a thunderous boom blasting from his impact. Moving into arms reach of the archangel he speaks.
"As I have done with the Merchant I do now with the Eldritch horror that is your master. What is his will and does it confirm to better values then petty desires or alien hungers?"
Spoke Assyrian, with the boiling of his blood and racing beat of his strong heart reflecting in his voice.

“Hear...hear! The...grumpy...one...is...correct...to...question...but...why...not...question...this...supposed...angel?How...do...we...know...it’s...telling...the...truth? It...could...be...a...lying...intruder. Why...not...ask...the...dragon...directly? “

 

[Selee-01]

A flower bounces off Helsa’s head when she’s not looking. Whether it is an appreciative or spiteful action is ambiguous, to say the least.


“Hear...hear! The...grumpy...one...is...correct...to...question...but...why...not...question...this...supposed...angel?How...do...we...know...it’s...telling...the...truth? It...could...be...a...lying...intruder. Why...not...ask...the...dragon...directly? “

"DO SO. TOUCH THEIR SCALES."

 

[Churl]

"DO SO. TOUCH THEIR SCALES."

She looks expectingly at Assyrian, covertly using her [sever] aspect to remove herself from the conversation. Even though she has spoken, she now feels like an unrelated figure, putting the agency back on the archangel and god.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

“Hear...hear! The...grumpy...one...is...correct...to...question...but...why...not...question...this...supposed...angel?How...do...we...know...it’s...telling...the...truth? It...could...be...a...lying...intruder. Why...not...ask...the...dragon...directly? “

Assyrian Conversational
"I would not trust a dragon, it is a beast, a being of stars and void. Any word it would give is not tempered in the truth of a soul with dedication or said with a tongue that has common cause with life. Be wary of any promise it would give, for like its flesh such a thing is slimy and foul."
Thus spoke Assyrian with a stern cast to his features and unyielding gravitas, as is befitting the incarnate flesh of celestial fury bound to the discipline of the marital way.

 

[Selee-01]

Assyrian Conversational
"I would not trust a dragon, it is a beast, a being of stars and void. Any word it would give is not tempered in the truth of a soul with dedication or said with a tongue that has common cause with life. Be wary of any promise it would give, for like its flesh such a thing is slimy and foul."
Thus spoke Assyrian with a stern cast to his features and unyielding gravitas, as is befitting the incarnate flesh of celestial fury bound to the discipline of the marital way.

"THAT'S RUDE. THEY AREN'T EVEN AWARE OF YOU."

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

“Now now, have you lot never heard the phrase ‘do not awake a sleeping dragon’? Leave the thing alone, it’ll wake up on its own time.”

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

"THAT'S RUDE. THEY AREN'T EVEN AWARE OF YOU."

Assyrian Conversational:
"I am the God of Fist and Blade, forged from the fires of the most violent star, a deity of fury and defiance," Assyrian chuckled, his gaze sharp as a blade and his stance firmly planted on the ground.
"Being rude is but part of my charm." The angry star God let a mean grin slip over his mouth, kindness to those who he found offensive was not easily found when he decided that confrontation was needed. A virtue to him, but a great vice and reason for dislike in others.

 

[Stikes]

Nothing...I...guess. ...Why? Do...you...have...some...here?

"Of course!" Kurantse says, "We're all allies here, comrades, eh?"

His tone when speaking this is somewhere between earnest and sarcastic, and the shape of his eyes indicates an ironic smirk. He looks to be opening his mouth to continue, but-

Rhubarion Talking to Self

"Well, I assume so. I guess it's worth taking the risk. HEEEERREE GOEESSSS SOOOMMMEEETTHIING!!!"

Rhubarion runs at the globe with marvelous speed.

The merchant god is somewhat staggered by Rhubarion's rapid passing, his clothes thrown into sudden disarray. As he reorders himself, he scowls.

"Would it be a terrible trouble to be more careful?"

Helsa growled at the merchant God. "By Greatest Goddess, I mean that I am much, much better than ALL OF YOU! Look at this powerful and gorgeous form!"

Kurantse suppresses an eye-roll at the goddess' boasting, but lets her continue with her speech unimpeded. He knows that engaging with her again will only result in further idiocy.

A groundwork for this world must be based on principles. Any foundation built not on the hearts and vitality of man is a false one. But, do tell me my fellow Deity. What does the God of heartless desires and lies of metal have to say about the groundwork?

Kurantse smiles at the warrior god.
"I know," he says, "A good deal about groundwork. After all, how many kingdoms are built on a foundation off money, eh? How many reliant on trade for survival? I think you'll find that a nation lacking those will die faster than one with without an army."

After, he watches as Assyrian leap from his throne to confront Yimor's angel.

“Now now, have you lot never heard the phrase ‘do not awake a sleeping dragon’? Leave the thing alone, it’ll wake up on its own time.”

"Quite right! I think that the old lizard staying asleep is in all our best interests, eh?"

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

I know," he says, "A good deal about groundwork. After all, how many kingdoms are built on a foundation off money, eh? How many reliant on trade for survival? I think you'll find that a nation lacking those will die faster than one with without an army."

After, he watches as Assyrian leap from his throne to confront Yimor's angel.

Assyrian keeps his eyes on the angel but bends his words to fly from him as a piercing spear, heat and fire rolling over their casting, "Speak of kingdoms you do, but what do you know about the beliefs that make them? Profit is a tool for the building of empires, by its ability I admit roads and walls can be made and great glittering thrones built. But it is the beliefs of the people that will power the history of the kingdom. By deed and thought, cultivated by the soul are the greet works done. Your army will be little without cause but gleaming coin, your government merely papers and letters if but only shining wealth holds it up."
A great convulsion comes over Assyrian, monstrous spasm that ripples through his muscles as he shakes and battles with some choice, the struggle ceases and when next he speaks it with a tone to crush a city with the dead, iron weight in it.
"I am not made for the making of cities but neither are you made for the providing of beliefs or a spirit to be bound to your laws."
Assyrain pauses, letting the statement stand before he makes his offer.
"I need a kingdom, you need warriors and, if you hope for stability, some greater philosophy to join and keep in check the fires of avarice that would consume the souls of those under this kingdom. I partner with you and you avoid my wrath, you partner with me and I will be able to protect the mortals under your care and keep some sense of greater Truth to your realm. As for what you get? The God who can provide you with forces to crush, demolish and conquer; withing reason and limit but. still, you would have the ability to call on the fiercest of fighters and a God suited for battle."

 

[KolastoRPN]

Whether it is an appreciative or spiteful action is ambiguous, to say the least.

Helsa pretty much ignored the flower to her head outside of a momentary glare and her tentacles ripping the flower to shreds, before returning to awaiting Rhubarion's pain. And then she finally noticed a certain warrior god.

Assyrian

Helsa's eyes harden as she sees her enemy. Her tentacles writhe fiercly. "Assyrian..." She growled, her throne seeming to grow tentacles of it's own, all of them pointing right as the warrior god.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

Helsa's eyes harden as she sees her enemy. Her tentacles writhe fiercly. "Assyrian..." She growled, her throne seeming to grow tentacles of it's on, all of them pointing right as the warrior god.

Assyrian raises his left hand and wags his fingers back and forth at the foul, ill tempered, crude and ugly creature
"Now is not the time for combat. I have work to do with the Merchant, our combat will resume later when you do something I am sure to arouse my anger. It will involve dead mortals, crying children and some calamity to make the heavens weep I have no doubt. Unless you have found a way to better your soiled heart, in which case I will not need to punch you. Everywhere, in all places and parts. Often."
In hindsight one could say Assyrian lacked tact, to which he would reply he wielded blades, why should his tongue not be as a spear? Dealing with the Merchant had oiled and sharpened it to a fine point, and there was still more refinement of his blunt humor to come with how he would need to negotiate with the gold obsessed deity, With all this in mind, he was quite kind with his reply to the Goddess, he did not even insult her love life or crow about slaying her creations, A great feat for a God of Fury.

 

[KolastoRPN]

Assyrian raises his left hand and wags his fingers back and forth at the foul, ill tempered, crude and ugly creature
"Now is not the time for combat. I have work to do with the Merchant, our combat will resume later when you do something I am sure to arouse my anger. It will involve dead mortals, crying children and some calamity to make the heavens weep I have no doubt. Unless you have found a way to better your soiled heart, in which case I will not need to punch you. Everywhere, in all places and parts. Often."
In hindsight one could say Assyrian lacked tact, to which he would reply he wielded blades, why should his tongue not be as a spear? Dealing with the Merchant had oiled and sharpened it to a fine point, and there was still more refinement of his blunt humor to come with how he would need to negotiate with the gold obsessed deity, With all this in mind, he was quite kind with his reply to the Goddess, he did not even insult her love life or crow about slaying her creations, A great feat for a God of Fury.

Helsa's anger seemed to fade...to everyone but the God of Fury. He could tell that Helsa was still absolutely furious underneath her calm façade. "Oh, you underestimate me! I promise you that whatever I plan is much, much greater than anything your feeble mind could imagine." She said, grinning widely.

Especially when compared to my brilliance, you mindless brute. How dare you stand against me at all, you overly angry warmonger. Helsa thought to herself, not caring if anything she said about her foe was true or not. I will make you watch as I tear apart everything you've built.

 

[Stikes]

Assyrian's offer.

Kurantse taps his chin thoughtfully. At tempting offer, to be sure...

"I'll keep it in mind, Warrior, no doubt. For now though, I think it would be advisable to take stock of what we have to work with, eh?" He says, cocking a thumb over his shoulder at the globe.

Helsa's eyes harden as she sees her enemy. Her tentacles writhe fiercly. "Assyrian..." She growled, her throne seeming to grow tentacles of it's on, all of them pointing right as the warrior god.

The golden-robed god laughs. "Now, now, let's not kill each other on our first day back, eh? Let's let bygones be bygones, allow the water to flow beneath the bridge, yeah?"

As he says this, he discreetly palms a heavy gold coin. He didn't want a fight, but it never hurt to be wary.

Now is not the time for combat. I have work to do with the Merchant, our combat will resume later when you do something I am sure to arouse my anger. It will involve dead mortals, crying children and some calamity to make the heavens weep I have no doubt. Unless you have found a way to better your soiled heart, in which case I will not need to punch you. Everywhere, in all places and parts. Often."

"Oh, you underestimate me! I promise you that whatever I plan is much, much greater than anything your feeble mind could imagine."

Kurantse sighs. Even when saying they don't want to fight, they just can't keep themselves from further provocation, hm?

"Yes, yes, let's all just calm down, eh?" He clears his throat. "So, Helsa, what exactly do you plan to do?"

She probably has no idea...

 

[KolastoRPN]

"So, Helsa, what exactly do you plan to do?"

"Oh-hohohoh~ Like I'd tell you! You'd never understand with your inferior minds." Helsa cackled, leaning back in her chair.

When the time comes, you'll understand...and you'll suffer.

 

[Stikes]

"Oh-hohohoh~ Like I'd tell you! You'd never understand with your inferior minds." Helsa cackled, leaning back in her chair.

This time, Kurantse doesn't bother restraining his eye-roll.
"Of course. Truly, I am a most foolsome fool."
He clears his throat once more, then speaks to address the other gods in the hall. "Now, I'll ask again; does anyone have any plan they want to lay on the table, maybe ask for cooperation on? Or, are we all just gonna run off on our lonesomes?"

 

[KolastoRPN]

"Now, I'll ask again; does anyone have any plan they want to lay on the table, maybe all for cooperation on? Or, are we all just gonna run off on our lonesomes?"

Like I'd ever work with you.

"I do not have anything I desire to share...nor anything that you'd even comprehend." Helsa sneered.

 

[BlackCat-055]

INQUI
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I yawned as I woke up from my nap, rubbing the temporary death from my eyes, I blearily looked around before flinching as I realized that I was in a meeting with the gods of Orcaril, oh yeah I remember now.

My name is Inqui Rey, I am the aspect of Aqua, Elayra's host for All of the World's Evil, The First Hero, The Slime Goddess, The Patron of Heroes, and now this meeting's member, I was technically a part of this world's pantheon no? I sighed mentally, truthfully why I may have made many changes and made a worthy for myself, but, I don't want it, I don't want to be the Patron of Heroes, I don't wanna be in here changing the world to my likings, heck the only reason I'm doing any of this is because I want to help, because it's my duty to help as the now goddess of heroes, I just, I held back the colossal flood that was sadness and tears from leaking out of me and displaying my weakness, I just want to go back home to Elayra, even Tanya and Merlin has lessened contact, but that was understandable, they're busy with managing Camelot, like how I'm busy managing the Throne of Heroes, I grimaced, to think an accident resulted to all of this, to my new unwanted position as an ascended goddess, but, I'll power through, conceal what I truly feel, because I'm the Patron of Heroes, and no matter what, Heroes keep their calm as the beacons of hope for tommorow.

I changed my form from a slime-based young girl, my true form, and into the one of the First Hero and Patron of Heroes, a form that donned a graceful light blue armor, masterfully made and so smooth yet durable, it shined an aura of hope and courage, and like all heroes, my head was uncovered, a young woman who had her hair braided into a bun and had a crown of silver and sapphires topped on top of it.

"Good day and greeting my fellow gods, I am the Patron of Heroes, what is thoust reason for calling me? Whatever it is, I will do my duty as a goddess of heroes" my words were composed, balanced and neutral in tone, but inflected with strands of compassion and camaraderie, showing no sadness at all.

Because nobody cares for who I am behind this facade, only the mask I chosen to be forced unto me.

 

[Poetic Prose Master]

Kurantse taps his chin thoughtfully. At tempting offer, to be sure...

"I'll keep it in mind, Warrior, no doubt. For now though, I think it would be advisable to take stock of what we have to work with, eh?" He says, cocking a thumb over his shoulder at the globe.

Assyrian nods his ascent, the Merchant is dumb in many areas but in the ways of cunning and planning he will admit to his skill.
"Very well, I will let you take the lead. Show me your skills with trade and knowledge of the kingdoms of mortals. I give you leave to lay out what is there for us to play with and build upon."

Helsa's anger seemed to fade...to everyone but the God of Fury. He could tell that Helsa was still absolutely furious underneath her calm façade. "Oh, you underestimate me! I promise you that whatever I plan is much, much greater than anything your feeble mind could imagine." She said, grinning widely.

Especially when compared to my brilliance, you mindless brute. How dare you stand against me at all, you overly angry warmonger. Helsa thought to herself, not caring if anything she said about her foe was true or not. I will make you watch as I tear apart everything you've built.

Mighty Assyrian, Master of the destroying Fist, adept of the Severing Blade and Parting Palm gave a great sign and looked to the ground for wisdom. He lifted his head and a gentle expression stole over his face as he tried to ape the manner of a wise teacher. He took a fist and pointed to the backside of it with the finger of his other hand, speaking slowly and with intent to the Goddess.
"This, my dear, is a fist. A fist is a symbol of power, a symbol of might and many other things. You are not yet ready to learn how the breaking of bones can be poetry when done in the right circumstance or the philosophy of a army rending blade, blood roaring and swirling around its savage edge like a typhoon whipped into a tidal fury."
Assyrian looked into a far away vista of battlefields aglow with sunlight and the cawing of raven songs as limbs were separated by sharp metal, before he returned his attention to the Goddess.
"For our lesson the fist is the object divinely ordained to shatter the face of the tyrant, there is a great natural law of violence that clearly states those who abuse and use will be struck by the bone and muscle of a hand driven at them like a thunderbolt. You are a tyrant my dear, a vicious and selfish one,"
Assyrian cleared his throat and brought both hands together as he bowed to the Goddess, giving her respect for just this one moment with his right fist placed against the palm of his left hand.
"Now that you know the Law of the Righteous Fist, it is my sincere and dear hope you will leave the crown of the tyrant before you must suffer the folly of tripping over this law. If you were to do so I have many more lessons to give and insights on how the unjust are beaten, whipped, broken and so forth you may avoid."
Assyrian meant only good will with this lesson, he truly did desire that she avoid the Law of the Righteous Fist or the Law of the Beheading of the Cruel Master.
There are many Laws Assyrian knew, and he wished none to break them. Truly, his soul was mercy and light.

 

[KolastoRPN]

All of the World's Evil

Helsa stared at the Goddess of Heroes. While normally that stare would be one of disdain, the Goddess of Evil sensed...something very interesting in Inqui. Something she hadn't noticed before.

Let's take a closer look...sadness, self-doubt, loneliness...normally, I wouldn't able to do this, but something is drawing me in...something powerful and-

Hate. Rage. Violence. Murder. Envy. EVIL.

Imperceptibly, Helsa's eyes widened. So much evil...as if she contains all the Evil in the World within her.

Helsa grinned, even as she continued to stare Inqui down. How very interesting....

 

[BlackCat-055]

Helsa stared at the Goddess of Heroes. While normally that stare would be one of disdain, the Goddess of Evil sensed...something very interesting in Inqui. Something she hadn't noticed before.

Let's take a closer look...sadness, self-doubt, loneliness...normally, I wouldn't able to do this, but something is drawing me in...something powerful and-

Hate. Rage. Violence. Murder. Envy. EVIL.

Imperceptibly, Helsa's eyes widened. So much evil...as if she contains all the Evil in the World within her.

Helsa grinned, even as she continued to stare Inqui down. How very interesting....

I looked at the other god with curiosity before understanding and enlightenment, she was Helsa, I recalled her, goddess of evil, one who gave the fruit of sin to Orcaril, but, could I blame her? She was a god of evil, to disobey one's nature is almost impossible as a god, as I'm a goddess of heroes and thus must be Heroic as possible, she cannot stop being evil because it is her nature to be evil, of course there is such a thing as loosely following your nature like me doing evil acts for the greater good or her being only necessary evil, actually, doesn't that mean we're connected in a way? I smiled at that, yes, maybe we are, even if we're polar opposites, it doesn't mean we can't be friends no? And everyone can be better, no matter who they are.

I waved to her and gave her a graceful smile, maybe I can know her better later on, I just don't know why, but I strangely feel so connected to her, maybe it's because our nature as polar opposites, me the Patron of Heroes and thus most often good, and her, the goddess of evil, yes, that must be it.

 

[KolastoRPN]

I looked at the other god with curiosity before understanding and enlightenment, she was Helsa, I recalled her, goddess of evil, one who gave the fruit of sin to Orcaril, but, could I blame her? She was a god of evil, to disobey one's nature is almost impossible as a god, as I'm a goddess of heroes and thus must be Heroic as possible, she cannot stop being evil because it is her nature to be evil, of course there is such a thing as loosely following your nature like me doing evil acts for the greater good or her being only necessary evil, actually, doesn't that mean we're connected in a way? I smiled at that, yes, maybe we are, even if we're polar opposites, it doesn't mean we can't be friends no? And everyone can be better, no matter who they are.

I waved to her and gave her a graceful smile, maybe I can know her better later on, I just don't know why, but I strangely feel so connected to her, maybe it's because our nature as polar opposites, me the Patron of Heroes and thus most often good, and her, the goddess of evil, yes, that must be it.

Helsa merely continued to smile at the Goddess of Heroes. Yes, that evil brewing inside you...I'll be happy to use it for my own goals. I'll be happy to break you, and give birth to that Great Evil.

Hate. Suffering. Pain. Torment. Pride. Greed.

"...I do believe we'll get along quite nicely..." She mumbled under her breath.

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

The fuck. Joe looked at the weirdness before him. And decided to change the topic.

“Well I plan to sponsor a race, and nation. Does anybody else have similar ideas?”

 

[Selee-01]

Action 1: Yimor'droth.
Creation of an Exarch.

Far below, an Exarch was dying. He had lived long, and seen much, and as per tradition his successor walked to his side.

Preeminence Micha, he of the sword, descended into the cavernous rock that hid the temple of the barbarian lands. The elaborate carvings lining the walls depicted the Dragon of Light and Dark challenging Chaos, and how his head was shattered and pulped. The carvings showed the Twins, the Lightbringer and the Nightbringer who rose from their progenitor's headless stump and dueled for supremacy. The last engraving showed the Lightbringer triumphant, the head and neck of the Nightbringer clenched in Their brilliant teeth.

Micha arrived at the door, and entered. The withered form of the Exarch gestured him in, and whispered.

"It is time, my apprentice. You have passed all trials, all tests, and have proven yourself worthy of my flesh and blood. I see a fiery future for you, and Arqa at last returning into the world. The fires of Yimor'droth shall purge thee of all weakness, and the Sword of Light shall be thine."

"I thank thee. Your power shall not perish from the sinful Land, but shall endure through me. Fare thee well."

With the death of one Exarch, another was born.

 

[Stikes]

"Good day and greeting my fellow gods, I am the Patron of Heroes, what is thoust reason for calling me? Whatever it is, I will do my duty as a goddess of heroes"

"Good day, good day. We've been called here by our buddy the Void Lord so we can get cracking on Ocaeril. Apparently, it's stagnated these past thousand years we've been away, so we need to reenergize things, eh?"

“Well I plan to sponsor a race, and nation. Does anybody else have similar ideas?”

"Finally!" Kurantse shouts. "Thank you! Someone who actually listens!" He pauses. "Well, you too, Assyrian, but still."

"I, too, am planning to lend my support to a nation - nations, in fact. I'll be trying my hand at influencing a few of the feudal kingdoms in the west. Mostly just to test some theories, you know?"

And what to do first, eh? He thinks to himself, turning back to the Globe and cradling his jaw in consideration.

 

[Gravitys Momentum]

Farmer Joe: Conversational

"Good day, good day. We've been called here by our buddy the Void Lord so we can get cracking on Ocaeril. Apparently, it's stagnated these past thousand years we've been away, so we need to reenergize things, eh?"

"Finally!" Kurantse shouts. "Thank you! Someone who actually listens!" He pauses. "Well, you too, Assyrian, but still."

"I, too, am planning to lend my support to a nation - nations, in fact. I'll be trying my hand at influencing a few of the feudal kingdoms in the west. Mostly just to test some theories, you know?"

And what to do first, eh? He thinks to himself, turning back to the Globe and cradling his jaw in consideration.

“An open ear is always a useful resource. I plan to sponsor the goblins into a decent civilization. They’ve been banging rocks for the last millennia. Does anybody object?”