Hikari Chan
Miss Hikari
Aislinn continued to eat in silence as she did not know what to speak about. I have a feeling that he is expecting me to speak first, but I have no idea what to speak about. Sherwood was a very talkative man; he would tell me about everything that I did not need to read the daily prophet or the quibbler. I could just sit there and listen, and he did not care if I spoke or not. When I met Vincent for the first time, I was very rude, because I found it fun to tease a vampire, afterwards we chitchatted like families until he was foolish enough to fall in love with me. Robert is a pervert and has only one thing in his mind that a conversation with him is useless...Alastair is different, he is so charming but yet so difficult to get to know him personally. What shall I speak to him about? I’m curious about him but yet I don't know what kind of subject to choose for a conversation. It feels so weird to ask him about his interests, what he likes or not likes. Perhaps he is like Elias, of course not an arrogant type, but someone who is quiet, perhaps we will soon know each other by time without the need to speak so much?
"Thank you so much for the lovely dinner," Aislinn thanked Alastair politely as soon as she had finished and stood up to leave. "I appreciate it," she smiled. "Goodnight"
It was a sleepless night for Elias. He was staring at the ceiling above him and thinking about Luna, thinking about the past. I did everything for her, everything I possibly could think about. The access to the ministry before, every possible precaution to protect her from the authorities. And yet.... everything we had together crashed into pieces. Nothing is different from the time when we fought her mother. I won't be surprised if Luna chose to torture or kill me soon. Why did she want to be with me from the beginning? But I cannot blame her, she told me about the condition with her heart from the start...it is my fault. I have none to blame but myself for failing to be the right one for her....but yet I cannot help but wonder if I had failed if I had met another woman than her....I am still young, I could date any girl I desired, but it is too difficult when every girl seem to yearn for my affection, who shall I choose and will I ever make the right decision? I don't want to create rivals, but there will always be jealous girls and it cannot be helped. Strangely, I still feel that I belong to Luna and thinking about other woman than her is like a forbidden act...but nothing seemed to work with her and I’m back to the same thought, I’m just walking around in circles, not knowing how I shall break this vicious path and change everything to the good. It was already difficult to break away from her from the start and now it is more difficult than ever. Is it worth it to sacrifice my heart just to be with her? Won't I lose all my feelings and turn to a cold man if I did that? Does my family deserve this? I don't know anymore. I feel like death would be the most soothing right now, but my family does not deserve it...but I have failed in pleasing both my mother and Luna...how shall I explain this for my mother? Of course, she will blame me for everything....in the end everything has been my fault...I’m the one to blame...the only solution to this is to date another girl, but I am worried it will only hurt Luna, but why? She cannot feel or love, she does not have her heart, she want a man who could love her for who she is without any physical affection...but I promised her that I won't leave her, that I would be her friend no matter what but yet she expected me to blame her for everything, why? It feels like nothing have become any better but that I might have made her to my enemy....we will never be able to come to an agreement.....anyway, I don't know anymore, I feel lost...
He lay awake until dawn and got up as soon as his emerald glowed. The time had finally come. Well, it is a comfort that I actually never fail to comply her orders....
He walked out from his office and was soon accompanied with the rest of the deatheaters in the entrance hall.
"Did Quinn inform the students?" He asked as he walked past Macnair.
"Yes, they won't have any more lessons because they need to study for their finals, no more or less."
"Good.."
"By the way, the seventh years were very happy about the coming graduation ball-"
"Eli!!!"
Elias turned around and faced his sister who came running towards him from the great hall.
"Why are you not joining us during the meals in the great hall anymore?" she asked as she looked anxiously at him. She pulled him by his sleeve and dragged him away from the other professors, so she could speak to him in privacy. "What's the matter with you? I can see on your face that you have not been sleeping for two nights and you have been crying, haven't you?"
"I’m alright, dear-"
"No you are not! Your eyes are red and swollen and you have black shadows under them. You look so weary, much wearier and worse than you did when I came home for the winter holidays.."
"Lily, please, I am just having a little hard time. I never had the opportunity to rest after my time in Azkaban..."
"Are you having nightmares about that place?"
"Yes.." The first time I feel so bad about lying...I have never lied to my sister... "Anyway, I need to leave, I and the others have a meeting with Luna.." Elias hurried to say as he embraced his sister. "I promise to join you for meals in the Great Hall when I’m back..."
"Thank you so much for the lovely dinner," Aislinn thanked Alastair politely as soon as she had finished and stood up to leave. "I appreciate it," she smiled. "Goodnight"
It was a sleepless night for Elias. He was staring at the ceiling above him and thinking about Luna, thinking about the past. I did everything for her, everything I possibly could think about. The access to the ministry before, every possible precaution to protect her from the authorities. And yet.... everything we had together crashed into pieces. Nothing is different from the time when we fought her mother. I won't be surprised if Luna chose to torture or kill me soon. Why did she want to be with me from the beginning? But I cannot blame her, she told me about the condition with her heart from the start...it is my fault. I have none to blame but myself for failing to be the right one for her....but yet I cannot help but wonder if I had failed if I had met another woman than her....I am still young, I could date any girl I desired, but it is too difficult when every girl seem to yearn for my affection, who shall I choose and will I ever make the right decision? I don't want to create rivals, but there will always be jealous girls and it cannot be helped. Strangely, I still feel that I belong to Luna and thinking about other woman than her is like a forbidden act...but nothing seemed to work with her and I’m back to the same thought, I’m just walking around in circles, not knowing how I shall break this vicious path and change everything to the good. It was already difficult to break away from her from the start and now it is more difficult than ever. Is it worth it to sacrifice my heart just to be with her? Won't I lose all my feelings and turn to a cold man if I did that? Does my family deserve this? I don't know anymore. I feel like death would be the most soothing right now, but my family does not deserve it...but I have failed in pleasing both my mother and Luna...how shall I explain this for my mother? Of course, she will blame me for everything....in the end everything has been my fault...I’m the one to blame...the only solution to this is to date another girl, but I am worried it will only hurt Luna, but why? She cannot feel or love, she does not have her heart, she want a man who could love her for who she is without any physical affection...but I promised her that I won't leave her, that I would be her friend no matter what but yet she expected me to blame her for everything, why? It feels like nothing have become any better but that I might have made her to my enemy....we will never be able to come to an agreement.....anyway, I don't know anymore, I feel lost...
He lay awake until dawn and got up as soon as his emerald glowed. The time had finally come. Well, it is a comfort that I actually never fail to comply her orders....
He walked out from his office and was soon accompanied with the rest of the deatheaters in the entrance hall.
"Did Quinn inform the students?" He asked as he walked past Macnair.
"Yes, they won't have any more lessons because they need to study for their finals, no more or less."
"Good.."
"By the way, the seventh years were very happy about the coming graduation ball-"
"Eli!!!"
Elias turned around and faced his sister who came running towards him from the great hall.
"Why are you not joining us during the meals in the great hall anymore?" she asked as she looked anxiously at him. She pulled him by his sleeve and dragged him away from the other professors, so she could speak to him in privacy. "What's the matter with you? I can see on your face that you have not been sleeping for two nights and you have been crying, haven't you?"
"I’m alright, dear-"
"No you are not! Your eyes are red and swollen and you have black shadows under them. You look so weary, much wearier and worse than you did when I came home for the winter holidays.."
"Lily, please, I am just having a little hard time. I never had the opportunity to rest after my time in Azkaban..."
"Are you having nightmares about that place?"
"Yes.." The first time I feel so bad about lying...I have never lied to my sister... "Anyway, I need to leave, I and the others have a meeting with Luna.." Elias hurried to say as he embraced his sister. "I promise to join you for meals in the Great Hall when I’m back..."