The Fear principle (Accepting)

Still Jack is resisting, as could only be expected. Still she is insistent...but she has control, more control that Jaguar would have predicted. She isn't pushing her. She isn't behaving with violence, or even cursing her out. She does have the ability to reign in her emotions, and this means she has considerable potential for rehabilitation.


Perhaps she had moved too fast. Perhaps she should not have pushed empathic contact so early, the first day she has even met her. Regarding her, her own pulse still racing, Jaguar takes another step forward, noting her sigh, the way she licks her lips, reading the undercurrent of...anxiety?...mingled with her anger. Is Jack reflecting Jaguar, or are those her own emotions?


Please. She had said please, and this one word spoke volumes.


"I know this is scary," Jaguar told her softly, almost a whisper. "It always is, to give up control. No matter how small. We all like to be in charge of our own lives, our own destinies, what happens to our bodies. This will help you."


And as unconventional as her methods are, she believes it is true. How often has someone genuinely cared for Jack, and shown it through physical touch? Jaguar may not love her, but she does care for her, for her well-being, as she does all her prisoners-


Except for Mason Cooper, said a small voice in her head, and she could not stop the tension that jerked through her jaw before she could smooth it out and address Jack again.


"I'm not going to try that again, Jack. I won't hurt you, and I won't try to see your thoughts or speak into them. Not today. I just want you to try, one more time, to get just a little closer."


Before Jack could stop her she seized her hand, holding it in a gentle but firm grip, entwining fingers, and held her gaze with hers. "Breathe in and out slowly. And hold my hand. For now, that's all."


This had turned out to be considerably less than what she'd wanted, but now she had some damage reparation to do.
 
((I usually write in First Person, but since everyone else is doing Third, I'll do that. Bear with me if little 'I's and 'me's sneak in there))


Jeremiah Kable was not always a patient man. He planned for events long in the future and could easily await their fruition for months or years at a time. He stayed still and silent for the majority of his days, simply watching over the Eyes of Man facility and doing nothing to interfere unless needed. But when someone could not, or would not, do their job correctly and in a somewhat timely fashion, he paid very close attention and was anything but pleased.


For the most part, when not taking care of paperwork, he did nothing but perch atop an exercise ball - in order to escape health problems later in life - carefully motionless, and simply tracked the goings on of the facility he was meant to supervise. On this day, however, he was made to move. He slipped down from his seat, calmly put on his shoes, and slipped into his jacket as he walked out the door.


Jaguar Addams was a relatively stable, reliable worker, her emotions generally leaning towards desires to either assist or mildly instigate inmates. When there was a sudden spike in her feelings, a bitter tang of anger, hate and fear that flashed like lightning and settled into a simmer, Jeremiah had to take notice. She was one of the Eyes of Man's most promising employees, after all, and needed to be guided carefully to fulfill that promise.


By the time Jeremiah followed his sense of her to one of the prison blocks, she was already inside an inmate's quarters, and the earlier sudden spike of emotion wasn't boding well for whatever type of 'treatment' she might be carrying out inside - the inmate within was very clearly radiating distress. He didn't comm Jaguar, didn't do more then lower his mental shields just enough to let her know he was there before knocking on the door and giving it the right commands to open.


"Pardon the interruption, Miss Adams," He said, calm but firm, and tracked her every move with his eyes and with his mind. "But I would like to see you in my office now."


((Good? When Pristine is back on, we can figure out how to bring Matthis in))
 
(lol well he won't like Rinji, she pretty much does as little work as possible...like she said, she's pretty much the staff's therapy dog. She was pretty much added on and kept on because people like her. Yes, Nala, good, that's pretty much the sort of supervisor I hoped for)


Jaguar did not turn when she heard Jeremiah enter, nor did she release Jack's hand. It was not often that he interfered with her methods; they both knew that she was often unconventional, even controversial, in her methods, and that many were or would be rather appalled by them if they observed. For that reason she rarely allows any but Bailey, whom she has grown to respect, to watch her work, and she generally closes off her thoughts and feelings from him as much as is possible, allowing him as little access to her as she can. Jeremiah may let her get away with a lack of convention, due to her stellar track records, but even he sometimes reaches his limit of tolerance, and she supposes this was it.


That, or he had a chat with Bailey that would not bode well for her. Either way, she is obviously due for a conversation she simply is not in the mood to have.


She respected Jeremiah, there was no doubt of that. The man was good at his job, and allowed her leeway that other supervisors would not. He had been the one to get her the job, and she understood him, as much as she supposed he would allow. He had been the one to get her into Eyes of Man in the first place. She owed him for the chance he had given her, the faith he had placed in her several times.


But that did not mean she agreed with his interruptions, now or ever. Still she did not turn to him or take her eyes from Jack's as she addressed him.


"Jeremiah," she stated, the lack of a formal address typical of her, despite his formality towards her. "It's difficult to show a person intimacy when someone else is spying. If you would leave now, it would be appreciated."


He has basically completely ruined any possibility of this taking a turn for the better now, and it's taking all she has to simply grit her teeth and stop herself from saying anything more caustic.
 
((Well Rinji's moral support so she's an exception lol


Replies are slow, at a friends house))


Defiance wasn't a new color on Jaguar. Jeremiah was used to it, really. The only difference was that she usually didn't need to defy him. She knew that he was lenient with her, as did everyone else. He preferred not to interfere with her methods, after having seen how many successes her unconventional attempts had made. But this time, she'd overstepped, and he wanted to know what had gone wrong.


"Very well." He said, taking a glance at where the two stood. "Forgive the interruption. . . I will wait for you in my office, Miss Addams."


He would not, of course, go that far, but it was best that the inmate not feel as if he were still there. As quietly as he had entered, he left the room, gradually closing off his walls again so as to avoid detection and simply waiting in the hall. The moment her "methods" came to an end, he would take her to his office to talk. Until then, he could observe his facility just as well from the hall as he could from his own office.
 
Jack watched in amazement as Jaguar once again reached out to touch her. If she was any smarter, she would have slapped the other woman's hand away but instead only found herself watching at she grasped her hand in her own, entwining their fingers. It felt funny, different even...more different then her earlier actions with holding Rinji's hand in the arena. There if had been for fun, Jack had enjoyed it. The way the had giggled together and swung their hands back and forth...but now, this was just forced.


Her discomfort was obvious on her face and she had bit down on her cheek, as her eyes just focused on their hands together. She didn't like this, didn't enjoy feeling used, or like someone was only pretending to like her. It was her childhood all over, the cold hands of her nannies, how they had to hold her hand when they crossed the street, or help her up the stairs to her room...they had never wanted to, they had never cared for the child...they were paid to do so...just as this was all just Jaguars job, to some how 'help' Jack...she didn't care about her...


Nobody cared...


Her door to her cell suddenly opening jerked Jack back to reality and she felt her cheeks flame when Jeremiah entered, staring at them both. She was suddenly very much aware of how close Jaguar was to her, and instantly started to panic at the thought of getting in trouble. Wrenching her had away from the other woman's as if she had been burned, she backed away from the two of them and dropped onto her small cot, pulling her knees up and barely listened to the exchange between them, only lifting her head to glare at Jag once the other man had left.


"Now will you leave?"
 
Jaguar knew that Jeremiah was watching her still, whatever his courteous exit. She knew that he meant exactly what he said, as well, that she would be expected in his office or else tracked down or mentally bombarded until she responded as requested. Her spine stiffening, she gave only a nod to show she had heard him, not turning to face him even as he leaves.


Yes, this session is truly f***ed.


Jack is showing little of her thoughts in her expression, her emotions tightly controlled, though Jaguar can see in her body language that she is still upset, that something she is thinking or remembering must be impacting her deeply. And yet she cannot risk trying to intrude into her thoughts again, not so soon after this fiasco. How will she set this back towards the right track, then?


She keeps her distance from Jack, respecting her space for now as she addresses her again, allowing her the comfort of this distance.


"I want you to understand, Jack. I want you to be able to let yourself feel for other people. I want you to be able to let yourself feel, period. I've asked a lot of you for your first day with me, maybe more than you are ready for today. But you're capable of it. And whether you realize it or not yet, you want it. You want it so badly you ache for it, even with someone like me...someone you don't love or trust at all. Think about that, Jack. You don't love me or trust me. You don't even know me. But you want that...you need that intimacy...so badly that you were willing, even for a few moments, to let me get past your shields."


She paused, letting Jack think about this, before concluding softly. "I told you this would be hard. You won't always be in control, and you won't always feel like any of this is helping you at all. But in the end, it's what you want. You know it's true."


She began to back towards the door, even as she waited first to see if Jack had anything to say or add to this. Speaking back to Jeremiah mentally, she told him, "I'm coming, though this is entirely unnecessary."
 
((God dang it -_- I had this whole long reply all written out nice and perfect, and then my computer turned off without warning me it was close to being out of battery. Didn't even try to hibernate. . . I want to kill it. With a hammer. With Mjolnir.))


Jeremiah wasn't unfamiliar with telepathic communication, though he preferred to speak face-to-face so that he could watch as well as feel a person's reactions. Unnecessary? He shook his head slowly. Miss Addams, you know that it is my job to decide what is necessary. If she'd failed to learn that by now, she was unfit to work in this place, but she hadn't, and she wasn't, so he simply waited and said nothing more.


When Jaguar finally left the inmate's quarters, he didn't speak in mind or in voice, simply looked at her and waited patiently, then nodded towards the elevator that would take them up to the administrative floor. They walked silently to the elevator, and during the equally quiet ride up he merely observed the feelings drifting off of her in ever decreasing waves. She was trying to shut herself off from him, but she usually did, and he knew ways to get around her shields, noticed or unnoticed. It was just like the rest of the inmates and staff - after a while of feeling his faint but constant presence, they stopped even noticing he was there.


After the short ride to the right floor, Jeremiah led Jaguar to his office, where he walked behind his desk and sat in the chair he so rarely used, gesturing for her to sit in the one across from him. He let her stew in the silence for a minute or so still, long enough to find the occupant of the room she'd visited. He had known already, but he was never averse to double- and triple-checking facts.


Finally, he put his papers neatly away in a drawer and looked at her, resting his elbows lightly on the desk and steepling his fingers beneath his chin. "Mason Cooper." The man was a new inmate and a dangerous one, that Jeremiah already knew. "When you spoke with him, your reaction was far more violent than your usual calm, enough so that I feel the need to step in." There was no point in pretending he hadn't been watching her. He watched over everyone, always, and she knew it. "Tell me what happened."
 
(Aw, sucks, Nala)


Jaguar didn't respond to this mental communication from Jeremiah, nor did she acknowledge having heard it. Instead, she attempted to strengthen her mental shields, to block him from any further empathic contact with her, although she knew if he tried again and found himself locked out from being able to transmit thoughts to her, she would have to hear about this too. It didn't matter to her. She was already in for it, why not go full out?


When she has completed her exchange with Jack, she exits her cell, unsurprised to find him not in his office, as he had stated, but rather waiting outside of it for her. She raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't speak, other than a slightly grim twist of her lips that could pass for a smile. Following him into the elevator, she allowed the silence to stretch between them, even as she attempted to settle her shields more firmly into place.


He was trying to feel her out, she was sure of it, and the aggravating thing of it was, he was familiar enough with her by now that she couldn't be sure if he was doing so or not successfully.


Jaguar does not sit when Jeremiah gestures for her to do so in her office. Instead she leans against the wall adjacent to his desk, crossing her arms, and waits for him to begin. The moment she speaks Mason's name her heart speeds slightly in its beats, even as she is careful to let her face betray nothing.


Bailey had talked, all right. She must have.


"I was not violent with the man," she said at last, deliberately misinterpreting his words. "I never touched him, in fact. And nothing happened. I met him. I spoke with him. I dislike him, as he's an arrogant little prick, but that's not unusual with some of the prisoners, is it? He tested boundaries, I showed them where he couldn't break them, and that was that. Nothing happened."


She met his eyes, saying deliberately, "I think you're mistaken."
 
Jeremiah stayed still and quiet, calm as he watched and felt and listened to her speak. She was deflecting, clearly, and acting in a way that tested his heretofore measured patience. But it was Jaguar, and that was what she always did. Sometimes he wondered if she were actually trying to get a rise out of him. It wasn't working.


"You are a very direct person, Miss Addams," He said, clearly and deliberately, when she was done, staring him in the eye as another act of defiance, "And you are not stupid. You know very well that I never observe through the cameras." She was just trying to avoid the problem, and perhaps with someone else it might have worked. "You know that I have never stopped your physical actions. You are smart enough to deduce that I wasn't speaking of literal violence. Now. Kindly stop deflecting so we may move on with this matter."


He didn't look away, not because he cared if she thought he was weak or backing down, but because he needed to see her reactions and knew that keeping such steady eye contact generally made people uncomfortable, especially if they knew they were guilty. "You spiked, Miss Addams. You were carrying out your duties with just the faintest bit of irritation, and then you went through that door and created a virtual explosion. Anger. Hate. Fear. You are not an easily frightened woman. So tell me why. Tell me what happened, and know that I care nothing for the physical actions of it. You know that I don't." I wanted her to tell me why she had reacted that way, even before I could ask why his reaction to her had been what it had. She wasn't going to leave until I got the answers I wanted.
 
Rinji's admission of Jaguar's sexuality caused Bailey's eyebrows to raise a little. Not because she had an opinion on it one way or the other, but just because it had seemed so personal. Granted, in a building full of empaths, there was very little information that was ever really kept private, she supposed. Even to those, like Rinji, who weren't empaths. That had been one of the things that caused Bailey to be so apprehensive about joining. Having kept herself mostly isolated from people after her "getting-my-shit-together" period, she'd learned to enjoy her privacy, and found it very easy to be alone without letting loneliness seep in.


This, though, the thought of having a friend at work, especially a human therapy dog - which she couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter at - such as Rinji. Actually, having girl time like that, getting her hair and nails done, did sound a little appealing to an extent.


"We should do something after work sometime." She suggested, deciding that now was as good of a time as any to see if she could be social without doing anything crazy or overexposing herself. "Get drinks or something."


When Rinji brought up the idea of Jaguar and Jack being together, she shrugged and smiled weakly, nodding in agreement. Sometimes, Rinji spoke so fast that it was difficult to get anything in edgewise, but then she mentioned the idea of Jaguar and Mason together and shook her head, surprised at how easy it was to keep her face composed, smile only faltering a little bit.


"Jaguar and Mason wouldn't do so well, I think." Bailey admitted finally. "They seemed to butt heads quite a bit earlier. Too much of a power struggle between them."
 
She hated when he got like this. Forcing her to keep looking him in the eye, so as not to look weak or as if she’s lying, even though he knows it makes it that much harder to hide emotion or thoughts. Forcing her to work that much harder to keep what she wants to stay private exactly that, even as it forces her to lie, to shred her congruence of self. Jaguar hates to be deceptive, hates to openly lie under most circumstances, and yet Jeremiah more than anyone, even prisoners, often forces her to at least attempt open deception, of only to keep herself safe.


She could not deny to him what he had observed, as maddening as it was. She had been angry. She had been frightened, as much as she despises knowing this even for herself, and she had hated Mason Cooper. She hated him still, would likely continue to do so until she could find some way to purge him and his voice, his eyes on her, from her system.


“I got you now, lady…”


Even as she looked back at Jeremiah, forcing her features to remain in an emotionless mask, she can almost feel his hands around her throat, those broad fingers on her skin. She can hear the exact tone of his voice the first time he walked into her life all those years ago, and she knows that the more she thinks about it without being able to bleed it out from herself, to again wall it off as separate from her, from her core of Jaguar Addams, the less she will be able to function, let alone to fool her coworkers as is needed. “He irritated me,” she said finally, choosing her words carefully.


“I can tell that he is a man who enjoys using his power against those he perceives as having less than himself. He thinks he has more than I do, and it pissed me off. End of story.”


**


"That sounds like fun," Rinji smiled, nodding easily in response to Bailey's suggestion of drinks after work. "I'm not 21 but I have a fake ID so it's all good, no one ever looks twice! For some reason people don't think people my age would have as many tattoos or something like that, I think. We should do it today...when do you get off? You could bring your boyfriend too if you want, or your girlfriend...are you single?"


She barely lets Bailey hear what she's said before she skips ahead to her next topic. "Oh power struggle? Were they fighting? Because he was bigger than Jag, that really wouldn't be cool of him. Some guys!"
 
She was matching second for second, trying to keep his gaze without wavering and keeping her walls shut up tight. He could have pushed past those walls but chose not to. Penetrating those walls would only make her hide even more. She was always like this, in the rare moments that he had to intervene. She tried to hide and thought that he would let her. Even though she knew better than to believe that, still she tried.


He sighed, quietly but loud enough for her to hear, and leaned back in his chair, letting her see as well as feel his disappointment. "That was the wrong answer, Miss Addams. I don't see why you have to keep fighting me. It's not my job to punish you, only to step in and make corrections when I feel certain things are not going as well as they should. If you would cooperate with me, I would let you get back to your work."


He was growing tired of this deception. She was one of the few that could test his patience so, and because of that he decided to be a little more direct. "Let me state this plainly." He said, looking her in the eye again. "Without the practice you have of shielding against me, he was much easier to read correctly. After you spiked, so did he. He recognized you." The ripple that statement caused was hardly noticable but beneath the surface he knew she was boiling, ready to explode but sealing it in.


"Calm, Miss Addams," He said, sending a wave of soothing emotion her way, not enough to penetrate her shields but enough for her to feel and enough to be effective if she would let it through. "You aren't in trouble. Only, tell me why he knows you. And no," He interrupted before she could deny it, something he was rarely forced to do, "Do not tell me he has only seen you in the ads. This was a very familiar type of recognition, and it brought with it some very troublesome feelings as well."


If it were anyone else, he would claim she was not safe, but he knew she could take care of herself. Perhaps he would still accompany her on her next visit, if he decided that there would be one. "Take a deep breath. . . Now stop pretending you think I'm a fool and explain."
 
Jack's body continued to shake even after Jag left her cell. Her earlier craving to get some reading in was long forgotten and she stays there, unmoving on her cot for several minutes, her knees pressed tightly to her chest. She was still processing what had just happened.


Her mind was racing at the thought of what could have gone down had the two of them not been interrupted by Jeremiah. Would she have hurt Jaguar to get her away from her, would she have eventually gave in...would she have tried to sleep with her? Part of her knew that she would have, but she kept thinking about Rinji and the thought of losing the only person in this place who was on her side really bothered Jack. Still not considering the girl to be her friend, it still mattered what she thought of her. Maybe she had feelings for the little blonde...would explain things...


Finally snapping out of it, Jack gets up and stretches, looking outside the small window of her cell and frowns, realizing she was going to be stuck in here for the rest of the afternoon. It'd be a whole day before she got any answers, and it was going to drive her nuts.


7d4c5fed5f305aa7ea6ca38486a0c201.jpg
 
It's not his job to punish her? Then what the hell is this exercise here? Why is she forced to sit here, every second making the walls seem that much closer to moving in on her, the ceiling that much lower towards her head, her distance from Jeremiah that much less?


Keeping fighting him...why did she have to keep fighting him? The question was laughable. She had to fight him to maintain her own freedom to proceed as she saw fit, to hold her privacy and her past close to her chest where it belonged, safely out of reach of any other.


Still, as good as Jeremiah was at his job, as skilled as he had become at knowing her much more uncomfortably closely than she would prefer, he didn't know anything specific yet. There was still a chance for Jaguar to tell the truth without being specific on details- or so she thought.


When he told her that he knew that Mason recognized her, that he recognized her on a personal level, she knew that her face was showing the emotion that she had been until this point successfully able to keep back. She clinched her jaw, thinned her lips, and lowered her eyes, furious with herself for being the first to look away, but she knew that if she did not, Jeremiah would read all too easily the shock, anger, and frustrating grief evident in her gaze.


How was it that one thought, one simple reminder could make her feel as though she were back in those years, back to being that eleven year old child? She was beyond it in so many ways, and one day, no, ten minutes with that man and it was as though nothing had really changed at all.


He would pull her from the case, definitely. He would think her incompetent, even in danger. But worst of all, he would pity her. He would pity her, and it was this that really dug under Jaguar's skin.


But she had to say something, and what she said could not be a lie. So after several terse moments, she said tightly, "I did know him in a way. I saw him, as a child. Killing people. I suppose he remembered me. I remembered him. That is all."


This is hardly "all," but it is certainly all she is willing to say, and considerably more so, even.
 
A reaction. Only once he had her backed into a corner with no way out did he finally get a reaction from her. That was the way it had to go with Jaguar, and he had to corner her even more firmly than he did others. With anyone else, it was relatively easy to just tell them what he knew and have them fill in the blanks, or face punishment for not doing so.


She was lying, still, even if only by omission. There was something she refused to tell him and that in itself told him just how personal the interaction between Jaguar and Mason Cooper had been. Jeremiah was going to find out, eventually, but for now he would be patient. When he wanted to be, he could be patient for however long it took.


". . . Very well." He said finally, after simply watching her in silence for another minute or two. "There is more to this, Miss Addams, but I will let you get away without telling me what it is, this once." He turned to open a drawer, pulled out the file on Mason Cooper, and made a small note in the margins, though he knew he wouldn't forget.


"If you feel you are able to handle continuing as his handler," He continued, "I will allow it, on the condition that I be present in the room whenever you see him. I will interfere with your methods only as much as I do currently, but I will be present to keep a close eye on the proceedings." He set the papers away and looked at her again, holding her gaze firmly. "This is non-negotiable, Miss Addams. Do you understand?" She could accept this, or he could have the inmate's door programmed not to open to her.
 
Well, it was a partial win. She knew, even as she continued to stare directly back at Mason, into his eyes, that he didn't buy her story, that he knew, as he himself said, that there was considerably more to it. But he would not learn of it, not from her lips, not from her file, not unless he pried deep within her thoughts and memories in a manner that would be highly invasive, highly against her will, considered by most empaths who were not being treated within a specialized program such as the prison's to be a form of mental rape. Jeremiah would not do such a thing unless he found it absolutely necessary, and for this alone could she be grateful.


But this new rule of his...how could she work with Mason with him in the room? How could she maintain total control and invulnerability when his presence would send Mason the message that she needed watching, a protector? What if Mason said something in front of him?


And yet, what if she refused, and he removed her from the case? What if she were never to know why Mason did what he did to her, to her grandparents...how could she let this opportunity go to finally understand?


"I don't agree with it," she said finally, as flatly as she could make it, even as her anger at this declaration stood starkly in her eyes. "It's unnecessary and frankly insulting. I don't need your supervision or your protection, and for you to stand over me while I work with him sends him the message that I'm incompetent. That is exactly what I don't need for this case. Not to mention that this...exchange...between us is inconsequential and private besides. I don't need you in there with me. But if you require it, you require it. I don't pretend to understand."


She stood, itching to leave the room, his presence, his eyes on her, and above all, his probing. Because she was certain now that some day, somehow, he would find out, and know her much more intimately than any person should.
 
Clearly, she had no idea what Jeremiah's intentions were. He had no illusions that she couldn't handle herself in dangerous situations. She had survived too long, too young, through the Killing Times not to be able to do that. She would resent him for a rather long time, he supposed, but many probably did. It was part of the job, and he had accepted it long ago. She didn't have to like him so long as she continued to respect his authority.


Standing, he slipped out of his jacket, getting it meticulously over the back of his chair. He walked to his usual place and toed off his shoes, though didn't resume his perch atop the exercise ball just yet. "No, Miss Adams," He said, quiet and firm. "You do not understand. I will be in a position to observe, not only you but the whole of the facility, as I usually am." He could carry out his job from that position just as well as this one, with only minor distractions.


"What you do not seem to understand is my reason for being in the room." He shifted the ball back to its designated place with a careful nudge, already expanding his attention though he retained his focus on her. "I will not be there to protect you." He turned, caught her eyes and held them. "I will be the to protect Mason Cooper." Connections like these were volatile, and because of her need for privacy he hadn't the whole story at his disposal. There was nothing more dangerous than a volatile empath around the source of his or her troubles.


With a polite, sweeping gesture towards the door, he dismissed her. "You may return to your work now."
 
<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2013_04/imagesCAAH7OGD.jpg.65dedc2b6f5cd73db482ba004a8f0118.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="335" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2013_04/imagesCAAH7OGD.jpg.65dedc2b6f5cd73db482ba004a8f0118.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>


Protect Mason....Jeremiah was going to follow her into the room to protect MASON?


The idea was laughable. Jaguar was a fraction of the man's size and weight, and she knew personally what violence he was capable of. She could defend herself mentally, and she was certainly physically trained to protect herself as well. But for Jeremiah to think she would murder him if provoked...


Actually, it wasn't an unjustified thought on his part. In fact, somewhere it had lurked in the back of her mind as a strong possibility. Even a desire. Problem was, Mason wouldn't see it this way at all.


Nevertheless she doesn't argue, only giving a stiff nod as she goes to the door and exits without another word. She is sure that Jeremiah is still monitoring her, and so she is careful even as she leaves the hallway, taking the elevator up to the second floor, where a few break rooms and staff bathrooms and bathing areas are located. Disappearing into one of the bathrooms, she locks herself into a stall and sits on a closed toilet seat, closing her eyes and breathing deeply and as slowly as she can. She doesn't cry; crying is something Jaguar has long ago closed herself off from doing, an instinct she has shut off. She simply breathes, and waits for the ache in her chest to subside.

 

Attachments

  • imagesCAAH7OGD.jpg
    imagesCAAH7OGD.jpg
    6.6 KB · Views: 30
When Jaguar was gone, Jeremiah resumed his seat atop the exercise ball, balanced carefully and observing his facility. He tracked Jaguar, briefly, but she kept her walls up tight until she came to a stop. It wasn't healthy, and he felt a bit of regret for making her do something like that, but it be his job and his job had to be done by someone. If not by him, perhaps by someone who would allow her less liberties.


Finally, he sent her a short message, quiet and gentle in his intrusion of her thoughts. "For the next fifteen minutes, I will wall myself off from you. Let go, Miss Addams." She would have that short timespan to release her frustrations however she liked and then continue on as normal. He was practiced enough at empathy to stop himself from feeling what she felt, should he choose. He could give her at least that much privacy.


((Wouldve done italics but I'm on an iPad and can't))
 
No doubt Jeremiah had intended his words to her to be comforting, a gentle shove towards emotional release. But when he speaks into her thoughts a last time, giving her permission, in essence, to feel and express emotion in private, it only causes Jaguar to tense her jaw and the majority of her muscles, angered again by this intrusion of her thoughts. He says he will withdraw; that is all well and good. She understands the need for monitoring, for making sure that no one, even teachers, will be given full sway over anyone else to the point where they could become shadowed and ill, influenced too heavily by others to do any good themselves. She knows this.


It doesn't make it any easier to have to subject herself to this monitoring.


He expects her to do something, she knows. To cry, probably. Failing that, to punch the stall door or kick something, maybe to scream. He expects it, and though he could not possibly know whether she does so or not, it makes Jaguar all the more determined to do nothing at all.


She continues to breathe, gradually slowing down her pulse, and by the end of the fifteen minutes she has pushed everything down far enough that she is nearly calm.
 
Bailey shook her head and shrugged when Rinji asked if she had a boyfriend. She didn't, hadn't really, ever. Of course, she'd had the occasionally one night stand, but she never was able to get too close to people. To let herself do that, often meant delving far too deep into their minds and finding things that troubled her far too much to consider an actual relationship.


"No boyfriend, or girlfriend." She said simply and shrugged again. "But I get off around six, we could go then."


Shifting in her seat again, she shook her head, "They weren't fighting... it was just kind of a pissing contest between the two of them, you know?" She cleared her throat, "Is there anyone else coming in today?"
 
For a while after Jaguar left, Jeremiah stayed in his place, observing as always but also thinking and evaluating. Mason Cooper was a danger to the order of things in this place, where Jaguar was concerned. He threw her off balance, and that couldn't be allowed to continue for long. She would have to focus and get past these obstacles, growing stronger and then moving on, as she should.


After a short time of debate, Jeremiah got down from his perch once more, put his shoes back on, took his jacket from where it had hung, and buttoned it neatly as he walked out the door. Rather than instigate mental communication, he followed his sense of Bailey Foster down to the correct floor and followed it to an even more precise location on that floor. She was speaking with one Rinji Fogden, someone that had no empathic abilities and hardly any secretarial abilities - but he kept her here because this was a depressing place, and there was no use trying to help the inmates get better if it slowly drove them insane. She was a free spirit, a light among the dull grey of this world, and she was necessary.


"Rinji." He said, nodding to her in greeting. She was one of the only people he called by their first name, if only because she refused to respond to anything else. That nicety taken care of, he looked to Bailey next. "Miss Foster. There are a few changes I'd like to make in the instructional roster. I would like to go over them with you." She was new, but she could be supervised, still, and would just have to learn quickly. Jaguar would likely be too distracted to help her anyway.
 
Bailey had been having such a nice talk with Rinji, the idea of making plans with someone outside of work, of actually socializing making her feel significantly better about her day in general. It had always shocked her, on some level, that the girl was not an empath, given the effect that she often had on the other workers. Of course, she knew that that was the sole reason she was allowed to keep her job here at The Eyes of Man.


That bothered her very little though. At least it meant that the administration knew enough about how difficult the work here was for the teachers, and how taxing it could potentially be on them, to understand that someone like Rinji was vital for the environment to remain healthy.


When Jeremiah addressed her, Bailey rose to her feet and cleared her throat. It always made her nervous when he asked to speak with her, but given the fact that she had just begun to relax, and that she'd crossed a serious line with Jaguar regarding Mason Cooper, that anxiety had grown stronger, a small pit forming in her stomach.


She managed a small smile and nodded obediently, "Yeah, of course. Would you prefer to do this in your office, or is out here okay?"
 
"No boyfriend or girlfriend? Oh, perfect, that's more fun for us then!" Rinji declared, giving Bailey's shoulder another little squeeze as she smiled again across the desk at her. Taking off her shoes, she shoves them under her desk and stretches her manicured toes nonchalantly as she continues to talk to her, as if this is a fully professional thing to do. "I don't either. For some reason they never really want to stick around for me. My mom says it's the tattoos that scare them off, or maybe my motormouth, but they see the tattoos right away and they hear my mouth too so that can't be it? People are just strange, that's all."


"Pissing contest? Well that's not fair, Mason would have a total advantage-" she started, before the non literal meaning of it dawned on her. "Ohhh, right. Okay. Who won?"


Flipping through the schedule on her telescreen, she sees that a name has been entered in and points to it carelessly. "Oh, right, this guy. Matthis something. He's coming in like, five minutes...cool, hope he's cute too!"


As Jeremiah enters the room, she looks up and greets him with a wave and smile, fully unconcerned that she's done little that could be construed as secretarial work and that her shoes are still off. "Hi Jeremiah! Have you seen Jag?"


By now Jaguar has emerged from the restroom and resumed the overly neutral mask of an expression that she wishes to maintain. She has no further prisoners she intends to work with today, and so retreats towards the main office area, where she intends to use a conversation with Rinji to unload. Seeing Jeremiah and Bailey there, she stops, then begins to turn, but Rinji sees her first and announces her presence.


"Hi Jag!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 6 (members: 0, guests: 6)

Similar threads

Sora No Kami
A vicious dance with death (RP 1x1 based on the song "My R") TW: Self-loathing, Suicune
Replies
1
Views
200
Sora No Kami
Sora No Kami
Back
Top