Fandom The Farmhouse Dream { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan looked over at him, hearing his words and smirked as he slowly backed up into the stream again. This time he kept his eyes on Asher and winked. "I think this is a very lonely place without you." He said as he grinned and then fell back behind the waterfall. To anyone, there was nothing behind it, but Jordan knew better. There was a small cave behind it that could only be found if one swam through the waterfall and through to the other side.

Kaleb noticed that Carlos was quiet as they walked up the path, and he wondered what was going on in his mind. He sighed softly as he heard his words when they made it to the gate. "You know that's not what I mean." He said as he walked through the gate and waited for Carlos. Kaleb spent years with his own turmoil, his own issues and problems and he never thought of Carlos as having any. He never spoke about them and so Kaleb, as he realized in Seattle, he'd never really seen Carlos break before. He opened the farmhouse door for them and held it for his partner. "Couch. Now." Kaleb's voice was more along his officer voice than his normal one.

Cameron looked at Nate and sighed softly. "That wasn't the only reason." He admitted. It had hurt more than he'd admitted to Gaige back then then it was his best friend's fault that Devin was dead. He'd sent them into a trap when he should've known better. Cameron was a sharer, he always had been. He didn't believe in hiding information or lying to make others feel better. "Devin and his group was sent into a trap that started the fight between them and FEDRA because Gaige told them that FEDRA was on the other side of the city." He said softly before he sighed. "And yes, it's been a hard last few years. But. We're here, together and it's so much better now!" Cam said as they came to the stables.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

This was one of those moments that Asher was highly impressed with just how much Jordan changed him. Back in Pittsburgh, there were attractive people. He never questioned that. He liked to look like anyone else. He flirted every now and then. He kissed a couple throughout the years. None of it meant anything really. They were all momentary flings. They weren’t even that. They were ways to pass the time between hunts. Jordan waltzed into his life and suddenly he was overwhelmed by it all. Right now, Asher was being enticed to get in the water, and he did not like the water. He did not like the lack of control. But Jordan was different. He was so much more than a momentary fling. And he was unbelievably hot. It made Asher ache. He watched Jordan disappear and waited for a moment. This was really how he was going to play it? Fine. with a groan, he slipped off of his rock and slowly made his way to the waterfall. “I swear, if you do anything untoward, I will kill you. I have the skills. No one would even know where to find that ridiculously beautiful body of yours.”

Yes, he knew. Carlos didn’t think it would work. He could foresee Kaleb’s reaction before he did it. He closed and locked the gate and walked into the house with him. The worry about what he was going to have to say eventually was mounting around him. He felt like he was being engulfed in it all. The officer voice cut through his loud and unrelenting thoughts. He stopped just in the doorway and turned to look at his partner. “Kaleb.” He did not go to the couch. He stayed right there. This was not an act of defiance. It was an act of desperation. “I do talk to you. We just… haven’t ever talked about…” He sucked in the breath before he could stop himself. “Which isn’t true, because we did talk about some things. Like how I worry about you, and how I never had any, um. Any role models.”

They reached the stables and Nate didn’t know what to do. That was a whole lot worse than having to be the bearer of bad news. Gaige felt responsible. Everyone made mistakes. Everyone did something that they weren’t proud of. Nate tore his hands from both other men and pulled Cameron into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. It was the very least that he could do. “I wish I could tell Gaige too.” Gaige needed someone to hold him together like everyone else. “I-“ he swallowed it. “I’m sorry.” He pulled away and stepped back. “Okay. So. Horses?”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan laughed from behind the waterfall as he heard Asher's words coming closer. He was laying on the small plateau behind the waterfall in the cave. Of course, how he was laying was on his side, head propped with his elbow, with a smirk on his face. "I'd never do anything untoward to you gorgeous. I know you can kill me, but those aren't the skills I want to see." Jordan called through the waterfall as he waited for Asher to come through the waterfall. Was he taunting him? Oh absolutely. Was he doing this on purpose? Definitely. Did he care? Nope. Not one little bit. They needed this time alone. The playing and the fun. A way to get themselves back as a pair.

Kaleb had moved to the couch but had yet to sit, before he heard his name and he saw Carlos standing there. He could sense this wasn't defiance though. This was a kind of desperation almost. Oh. Was this? The boys. It had to be. "My love.. I know we never talked about this, not really. It just happened. Perhaps too quickly? Are you afraid of not being a good father? Especially after the accident yesterday?" While Kaleb spoke, he walked closer, taking Carlos' hands in his own. He squeezed them gently. "I know you didn't have any role models, and I had the worse role model possible. If you aren't ready to be a father, I understand and we can find somewhere better for them if you want." Kaleb's voice was back to its normal tone as he tried to understand his partner.

Cameron looked at Nate, as he felt himself pulled into a hug. He swallowed hard as he hugged his best friend back. "Thank you. And I wish I could've been a better friend to him." Cam admitted as he sighed softly. "Uh, yes. Horses." he said as he too stepped back and headed into the barn. "Most of the horses are out in the paddocks or on patrol. We have enough wheelbarrows, would you two like to help clean?"​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Asher stopped at the waterfall and took in the water’s movement for a moment. Jordan’s words were more than enticing. “And what pray tell are you wanting to see?” Two could play at all games. He was learning, or possibly relearning, that they were both very good and willing to play one another’s games. This one was Jordan’s yea, but Asher did not give in easily. He liked to have some form of control. Finally he held his breath and moved through the waterfall. Jordan was lucky that Asher loved him, because the amount of uncomfortable that made him was immense. It felt wrong. But then he was at the other side and eyeing Jordan with a sly smile. He placed his hands on his hips.

Carlos didn’t know how to make Kaleb understand, because he didn’t understand. He also didn’t want to understand. He didn’t want this to be what was happening. He wanted to be happy and okay, but when he thought about the barn, Killian’s arm, and school, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Kaleb seemed to get it, but he didn’t get it. How could he when he had at least something? Carlos had nothing. The last words ripped through his heart until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I don’t want-“ He couldn’t stop his voice from sounding almost frantic. Desperate. He was desperate. What Kaleb suggested was so much worse than anything he considered. He knew that it might be true that they would do better with someone else. No, they would. “They-“ He gasped from the breath he suddenly didn’t have. “You may have had a bad dad, but at least you had a dad. You had this great mom. I didn’t have either, and I’m upset about that. Really, I think it turned out fine, but I don’t-“ He looked up and away as he tried to explain with words that were tumbling out faster than he could think. “I don’t know how to be anything for them. It was just me and my troublemaking crew. We didn’t…” He pulled his hands away so that he could use them to gesture emphatically as he spoke. “We didn’t ever do things like…” He never realized how much he didn’t have. “You may have gone to FEDRA school, but you at least went to school.”

Nate felt like there was more he should do. He should tell Cam what happened to Ben and Max. He told Jacob and Hayden at the very beginning. He told Alex. He couldn’t remember if he told Carlos and Kaleb, and he knew he would if he hadn’t already. With Cam though, it was hard. He wanted to tell him. Maybe later at a better time. “That sounds great. I clean up after the sheep every day, so let’s clean up after horses.”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan heard Asher's words and smirked as he laid there. "You, back here with me." He said as he grinned. He was having fun with his partner, playing these games. It was wonderful and everything Jordan wanted and to think, he'd almost lost this. He was grinning like a cat when he saw Asher make it through the waterfall and saw that sly smile on his face. "Well. You just gonna stand there or you going to come join me?" Jordan asked, winking at Asher as he laid there, that grin getting wider if possible.

Kaleb heard his words, he could hear that almost frantic tone. Desperation? He sighed roughly as he listened, hear that gasp. Oh.. Kaleb was quiet as he listened to him, watched as he looked up and away. His heart was breaking as he listened to Carlos try to explain with words coming out fast. He felt him pull his hands away and Kaleb sighed heavily. "Okay. You're already a good father. You are. Don't doubt that. Killian looks at you like you're his hero already. They love you and you love them. Sure sometimes you have to be stern with them, but this isn't just a single parent situation. You've got me to lean on when you need it. We've got two men in town who know how to parent and we can talk to them. We've got family to lean on. Sure you might not have gone to school, and you might not have had a parent, but in reality, I only had one for a while before she was killed. And I refuse to be like my father. Come here." He said, pushing himself forward and wrapping Carlos in his arms. "It's not going to be easy, and there will be more than one moment when you think you're doing it all wrong, but that's when you talk to me. Don't let it sit inside you."

Cameron smiled as did Alex. He helped Nate and Alex get their set up and turned to the first stall. Working on it and working away his.. emotions. That was one reason he worked in the stables. He could tell the horses anything and they just listen.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Asher, dripping from the water, stood there shaking his head at the lounging that was Jordan. It was like he was trying to impersonate a siren. What were the men versions of those? He could definitely be one. “I don’t know. I’ll consider it.” He stood right there appraising him for a little while longer. He made a show of sweeping his eyes across Jordan’s body. He was awfully tempting. When he teased, that made it even worse for Asher. Or better. It depended on who was looking at it. He took a few steps forward. “You do look lonely over there all by your lonesome.”

With arms around him, Carlos could not hide the fact that he was breathing far faster than he normally would. Was this panic? It might have been panic. He never thought of himself as one who panicked too much, but then again, he did panic when Kaleb was not there. He did panic a little when that man threatened Kaleb. Now he was panicking for these little boys. He held onto Kaleb like if he didn’t he was going to fall to pieces, and he was pretty sure that he would. He knew it. He could feel himself unraveling. He probably should have gone to the couch, because now that enough slipped out, the rest was coming, and he was losing the ability to stand. “I want to be able to do this so bad.” His voice was rough as he forced the words out. “Like I wanted to us to be together. I knew it was right. I know this is right. I just don’t know how to do this.” He held on even tighter, his arms locking in place. “With you, I knew what to do. But I don’t know what to do with them, and I don’t want to mess this up.”

Stable work was not his first calling in life. It really wasn’t his anything calling, but he did not mind doing it. It was similar to the sheep in that it was a something natural. He didn’t mind having the time to think about everything else. He thought a lot about when they were five in that room playing games. He also thought about death.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan looked at Asher, grinning like he won the lottery that didn’t exist anymore. And to him, he felt like he had. As he watched Asher come closer, his grin grew. “I’m pretty lonely over here. I need gorgeous man to come keep me company.” And to add to his words, he flopped onto his back dramatically, arm over his eyes. “For I fear if I’m kept alone much longer, I might just waste away..” He let out a loud, dramatic and probably unnecessary sigh as he finished speaking. His body stilled as if he was truly, wasting away.

Kaleb could feel Carlos panicking, he knew what that was like. He could hear that rapid breathing. The rough voice and the way he clung to Kaleb told him all he needed to know. Kaleb held onto Carlos, listening, and he looked at him. “Okay. We’re going to do two things. I want you to breathe with me. In and out. Slow and deep. And second, we’re going to march right out that door, head down into town and talk to our family. I have no idea what I’m doing either so a little advice will certainly go a long, long way. Can you do this for me? Breathe in.. and out.. and then walk. Come with me. Trust me like you always do. We’ll get through this together.” Kaleb said, slowly moving back and breathing in slowly and deeply. Then he held onto Carlos arm, not his hand, but his arm and led him towards the door.

Cameron was quiet for the first two stalls before he swallowed hard. “Remember that game we played once. Life? I.. uh, I remember that you were so confused about why I chose a blue peg to be my partner in that. I think my younger self knew something about me that even I didn’t know then.” He laughed softly as he moved onto the next stall.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Asher paused only because he could not laugh as hard as he did and focus on still moving. Jordan was the perfect amount of dramatic. He had no idea how someone like him could be around someone like Carlos who could be equally dramatic and larger than life. The two of them together would give Asher a headache, he was sure. Finally, after full body laughing for several minutes, trying to speak but failing miserably at it, he calmed his spasming insides enough to move closer still until he was right beside him, looking down at the wasted away body of Jordan. “That is a shame. What a waste of a perfectly good body. If only this handsome man here was still lively. Imagine the things we could do...” He sighed and turned away, still close. “I guess I’ll go back through that waterfall and see if I can find some other handsome man to be his company.”

Breathe. Carlos listened and obeyed. He could do that. He could breathe in and out as he spoke. This he did know how to do. He had done this with Kaleb before. How many times did he sit with Kaleb and work through whatever issues he was having? Enough to know that Kaleb could do this for him too. He could hear Kaleb’s breathing and mimicked it. When Kaleb led him by the arm, he did not resist. He needed the help. So he walked. He trusted Kaleb more than anyone else in the world. If Kaleb trusted the family to help them, Carlos could trust that too. Kaleb’s calm was infectious. It soothed his trembling. With his other hand, he reached across himself and held onto any part of Kaleb that he could reach.

Nate smiled at the sound of Cameron’s voice. He was finishing up the first stall as Cameron finished two. He was not an expert at this yet it would seem. “I do remember that. Your little self knew you liked boys.” He chuckled. “I guess we should have guessed.” He stepped out of the stall and looked over at him. “Do you remember what I did?”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan didn't move a muscle, hearing his laughter and even as he heard Asher's words. He knew his partner was close and the moment he heard those words about going back, he struck. Much like a snake, his arm shot out and his hand wrapped around Asher's arm. "Mm. Not so fast.." Jordan purred, and gave one good tug to pull Asher back and onto the rock. His plan was to pull Asher onto the rock and roll on top of him to pin him to the rock.

Kaleb smiled as he saw Carlos breathe with him. Good, that was good. "There you go." He whispered as he kept breathing in and out slowly and deeply. "Good." He added as he headed towards the door. He felt the other hand hold onto him as well. His free hand covered it, and only uncovered when he opened the door and shut it, and then opened the gate and shut that. "If I could pick you up I would, but you might crush me Strong Arms." Kaleb teased, hopefully to lighten the mood a little. Though he wasn't wrong. Where Carlos was a big guy with big muscles, and he was taller by two inches whereas Kaleb was shorter, leaner and overall smaller than his partner. He just couldn't pick him up and carry him like he'd like to sometimes. As they headed down the path, Kaleb kept up that slow and even breathing as well.

Cam looked at Nate as he heard him, chuckling and nodding. He hummed for a moment as Alex came out of his own first stall and tilted his head, listening curiously. "I do remember. At first you were like, what if I don't want to be married, and then you put a pink peg in the car with you." Cameron said with a smile as he started to reset the second stall now.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Asher knew that Jordan would do something, so he was not surprised. However, he was not expecting to be pulled quite like that. He did not fight against him, and soon, he was on the rock underneath Jordan. “My, a handsome man who is not wasting away after all.” They were slippery together, the water having not yet dried from their skin. It was such a strange sensation. He liked it. It was new and exhilarating like their entire day had been so far. “Now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?”

Carlos kept working on breathing, mimicking Kaleb’s. Holding onto him was as grounding as anything could be. It would not solve the problem, but he knew that Kaleb was walking them to a solution. He laughed at his words. They were silly and also true. Carlos had always been bigger than Kaleb. It was in his build. He was proud of his size and his muscles. “I don’t know. You’re pretty strong.” His voice was softer than it usually was, though there was a hint of joking with it. He kept his breath steady. Slow. Deep. He would love to see Kaleb carry him. He was not sure he could be more attracted to Kaleb, but if he could do that, Carlos might be.

Nate leaned against the outside of the stall as he thought back on that. “Right. I chose the little pink peg, because I was having a minor panic about having to marry anyone at all. I didn’t know anyone that I wanted to marry. I was so worried that I wouldn’t ever like anyone enough for that kind of commitment. So I thought about my mama and how she would have married my daddy. They would have been a blue and a pink peg, so I being blue put a pink on there.” He remembered that fear at the beginning so well. “You told me it was just a game. I kept worrying about it too. At least you knew then that you would like someone.”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Jordan chuckled, a low rough sound as he heard his words. "Not so much." He agreed with a big grin as he looked down at him. "As for what I'm going to do with you? Well. I'm sure you can figure that out." He said as he leaned down and started to kiss Asher, before those kisses traveled down his jaw to his neck, nipping at the skin there. "I'm thinking we stay here until dinner." Jordan purred as he kept kissing him.

Kaleb heard Carlos continue to breathe and he kept going with that as well. He heard that laugh and even though his voice was softer than normal, he could hear that hint of joking as he spoke. Kaleb bit his lip as he shook his head. "I wish I was that strong." He replied as they got to the gate. Their solution was close now, and he could only hope that it would be as helpful as he thought it would be. In his walks through town, he knew where the house that they were headed to was. "We're almost there." He told Carlos, continuing that deep breathing as they headed through town to the right house.

Cameron laughed as he nodded, remembering that time so long ago. "That was eleven years ago, and honestly, I kind of miss it. Life was so much easier back then." Cameron said as Alex tilted his head, confused and curious. "What kind of game was this in that you had to marry someone?" He asked, looking between the two of them. He didn't even know what games like that was, all he knew was what he'd learned so far.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Asher loved when Jordan spoke like that. That purr was like music only better. They listened to music quite a bit, and though he liked dancing, and he liked when Jordan played the guitar, nothing was as wonderful as the sound of Jordan’s voice. When he talked like that, though, it was even better. Jordan knew it too, He knew exactly what he could do to Asher. His hands slid down the muscles of Jordan’s back as his breath hitched for the kisses. He didn’t say anything at all. Instead, he kissed Jordan back with enough fervor to tell him exactly how much he liked this plan.

Carlos stayed in the thoughts about Kaleb and his strength. “You are that strong,” he insisted as they walked. He was not aware of where they were going. He did not want to have to focus on too many different things at once. He trusted Kaleb. Deeply. “Maybe not in your arms. But you have always been so strong. That’s why I knew I wanted to be with you.” He smiled as they walked, feeling better even if it was only temporary before he had to explain all of this again to someone else. If he was lucky, Kaleb would help him out with that. They were in this together. They were a partnership.

Nate threw up his hands. “Easier? I was in turmoil! How was I supposed to choose who I was going to marry at like ten?” He shook his head and looked at Alex. “LIFE,” though it did not occur to him that this might not sound like a game to Alex who had not ever seen it before. He was answering the question as he was fake upset about this. “How do you feel about the color pink?”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Kaleb heard that insistence in Carlos' voice and hummed, smiling at him. I'll choose to believe you on that one my love." Kaleb said as they came to the house, and Kaleb led them up the stairs. "Here we are." He said as he knocked on the door. He could only hope that the men would be open to talking to them. A few moments passed and Josh had managed to slip away from Hayden to open the door. "Hello boys. How can I help you?" He asked as Kaleb smiled. "We need some parenting help and advice if that's okay." He said as Josh chuckled and nodded. "Of course. Hayden, we have visitors." Josh said, leading the two inside and shutting the door behind them.

Cameron chuckled as he listened to Nate. "I don't know, I didn't have that kind of turmoil. So it was easier." He said with a smile. Alex was just as confused as he tilted his head, hearing his answer. "Life?" He asked, confused before he blinked, hearing that question. "I uh. I'm not a big fan of the color pink.." Alex was pretty confused at this point as he looked between them.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Carlos meant every word he said. Kaleb was the kind of strong he really loved. He was always up to be wooed by a strong arm. They were nothing to Kaleb’s strong being. He stopped at the house and waited until Josh answered it. Okay. That was who he thought Kaleb might bring them too. They were the men who had children, and from what he could tell, they raised them very well. Even if only one was their kid. Or both? Carlos honestly wasn’t sure. He stepped inside just in time to see Hayden moving down the stairs. “Hello boys. You weren’t gone for very long. I would have invited you to come back with us if I’d known.” Hayden’s smile was genuine as he made it down to the bottom. “Why don’t you come sit in the living room? Make yourself at home. Our home is your home.”

Nate sighed and shook his head. “I should have gone with blue in my turmoil.” He laughed as he realized his mistake. “LIFE is what this board game is called. You were playing a simulated version of what real life used to be like in the old world. You went to school, got jobs, paid for all sorts of things I still don’t understand, and got married.” He held up his hand to show the size of the little cars. “We were these little peg people. you chose blue or pink depending on gender. They were in these little cars you moved around, and I think the point was to make the most money.” He turned to Cameron. “I don’t remember who won. It didn’t matter. I remember that was when we chose to be family. I always liked found family more.” He took Alex’s hand. “All of my family is found.”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Kaleb smiled at Hayden and then sighed softly. “We.. have some questions and need some reassurance I guess.” Kaleb replied, “Which is why we’re back so soon.” He added, leading Carlos over to the couch and sitting down, gently bringing him with him. Josh followed and sat down in the smaller two seat couch where he held out a hand for his husband. “Does this have anything to do with the boys heading to school or the fall through the barn floor?” Josh asked, watching the two younger men as if he was considering adopting them too.

Alex listened to Nate’s explanation and he was less confused and baffled. “A board game based upon real life in the old world?” He asked. He had never thought that would be a thing but the more he thought about it, the more he was less confused and slightly surprised. He felt Nate take his hand and he smiled. “I love found family too.” He replied, leaning in and kissing Nate gently. Pulling away, he smiled. “I can wear pink if you really want to have someone in pink to marry.” Alex said, grinning and winked at Nate.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Carlos sat down next to Kaleb and stayed close. He wanted to keep as much of himself in physical contact with Kaleb as possible. He needed that to stay grounded. He never let himself fall so far down, and it worried him. Though, his worries briefly paused as the surprise overtook him. He stared at Josh incredulously as Hayden walked over to his husband and took his hand. “H-how do you-“ Carlos stopped in disbelief. Hayden smiled warmly at them. “Because we have been fathers for a very long time.” He took his seat beside Josh. “Which means we can always tell these things. Believe it or not, we’ve gone through them too.” Carlos looked at Kaleb unsure what to do next. He thought he was going to have to explain things, and now he wasn’t sure what they already knew.

It was a weird game, and he was glad that Cam brought it up. It was an informative time of their lives. He wished they could have played again. He smiled at Alex. “No, you don’t have to wear pink. For that matter you don’t have to wear blue either for us to-“ he stopped there as he realized the words that he was saying. His entire face flushed and he quickly looked down. This was not where he thought this conversation was going to go. He looked over at Cam. Hopefully he could save him from himself.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Kaleb was happy with Carlos remaining close. He wrapped his arm around him as he looked at the other two. He was not surprised when m Josh hit the nail on the head for the worries. Kaleb looked at Carlos and smiled as he listened to Hayden. He flicked his gaze between them for a moment and nodded. “Here is where we voice our fears and worries. So, I’m worried about being a terrible father because my own wasn’t the greatest. After my mother’s death, my father wasn’t my father anymore, he was a.. big time General and I was expected to follow in his footsteps. That makes me nervous I woke be a good father.” Kaleb said, looking at Josh whose eyes widened. “Was he a FEDRA General?” He asked purely out of curiosity and Kaleb nodded.

Alex looked at Nate with a smirk on his face as he heard that. “And now who sounds like Carlos?” He teased as he saw his partners entire face flush. Cameron laughed hard as he looked at Nate. His best friend was getting more and more comfortable and brave with things like this. He had Emmett who loves games as did he, so he was used to this already. “If you’re going to be like that, you guys can just head to your home now.” He said with a wink and a grin.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Carlos was not sure how he felt about these men already knowing so much. It was not only a bit disconcerting but almost relieving. That meant that they were not alone in this. Though he knew this logically, it was like in his panic, he forgot. Despite not having a father and Kaleb having a bad one, others had and were great parents. These two clearly were great parents since they seemed to be known as the people to go to when kids were involved. Carlos finally nodded. “And Kaleb was my favorite officer in the QZ.” He could not help but being a little bit smiley at the memory of his budding love. Hayden did not shrug it off or make some sort of shocked expression. Instead, he merely said, “Josh was a FEDRA general too.” This shocked Carlos. He met a lot of FEDRA officers in his days as the top of their most-wanted list. He would not have guessed that. Maybe soldier. General? He looked back at Kaleb.

Nate was looking to Cam for any kind of help and support and instead only found that he was making it worse. He didn’t mean to say something like that. He didn’t even mean to think it. The point was that pink was not a requirement, and yet, that was not what made the main subject by the time it came out. “No, I-“ His face was too red and hot for him to even think straight. What happened to cleaning and resetting stalls? That was easier than this. “I just meant…” It was so incredibly hot, and he had a feeling that was just him as he looked at everyone else. “Pink isn’t necessary for a marriage…” He folded his arms over his chest as he visibly shrank into himself. The embarrassment was going to take a lot of time to work through.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Kaleb listened to Carlos as he spoke and the blush grew on his face as he smiled at that. "Yeah, and you were my favorite troublemaker." He replied before looking over at Hayden, surprised at that revelation. Josh nodded and smiled at them. "Yes. I was a FEDRA general. Until I left because I made some mistakes in a battle, leading to Hayden's injury. And because I wanted to be with my family, my husband and son, my brothers. For the longest time I wasn't around and when I finally was, I was terrified of being a father." He admitted, looking at them. And he was, but this was something he'd never actually told Hayden. He always said he wanted to be Kai's father, but he had been scared for a long time. "There was one day, when we were training that I really questioned my ability to parent. I cut Kaiden with a knife and left a big scar on his stomach and side. I stayed away from him for a while after that because I was scared I'd hurt him again."

Alex chuckled as did Cameron as he heard Nate and he walked over, after seeing him fold his arms over his chest and seemed to shrink into himself. Alex wrapped him up in his arms and held him. He lowered his mouth to Nate's ear. "I'd marry you in pink or in blue." He whispered before he pulled back and kissed him gently before he pulled away and just smiled. "Ready to continue on?"​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

It was already immensely helpful to know that Josh was in a similar struggling position when it came to parenting, though from the sound of it, he had a much harder time than the two of them were having now. Hayden turned to look at Josh. “Oh, honey. You never told me that.” He knew that Josh was not around for a long time, but he really thought that being a parent and being a husband was what finally made him change how he was living his life. They still had their struggles, much of them Hayden’s, but he didn’t know that the fear was still there. Carlos was shocked by this. “You accidentally hurt him?” Though their circumstances were different, it felt similar to how Carlos felt like he hurt Killian. He wanted to know how that happened. What did he do? How did he keep going? How did he know that he could still be a good father after that?

Nate probably could have died in Alex’s arms, and that still would have meant that he had to show his face too soon. He was horrible at this. He may have been better about talking about things when it was just Alex, and apparently also around Cameron, but that did not mean he was cured of his self-inflicted shamed. With Alex’s whisper, Nate realized several things. He had previously implied that if he was going to be marrying someone, it was Alex. Alex had also implied that he would. He looked over at Cam and gave him one of his bigger, nervous smiles. “Okay, now that I totally derailed everything, I am going back to cleaning up after horses.” He slipped away and into another stall.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Josh looked at Hayden and then away, biting his lip. "I.. was still trying to figure out how to talk to you about how I felt. And I handled my fears on my own so I didn't bother you back then. And I've gotten a lot more confident in being his father." He admitted before he turned to Carlos, hearing his words and nodded. "In Seattle we were part of the WLF. I joined them after I left FEDRA and I took on Kaiden's training with my best friend and brother Soren along with Theo's training. We were working on hand to hand combat and using knives, when I sliced from the middle of his side down across his stomach. I had to take some time to gather myself after hurting him and then I talked to Soren about it who helped me realize that even when I hurt him, he still loved me and I was able to work through that. Though it wasn't easy."

Alex simply held Nate as he smiled, knowing he would marry him. He wanted to marry him. Ever since Carlos proposed to Kaleb, Alex had been thinking about this. He smiled as he felt Nate slip away. Cameron looked at him and saw that bigger, nervous smile and he smiled back. "Okay love." Alex said as he headed to start his next stall as did Cameron.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Hayden knew that they were talking about a time when it was much harder for them to communicate. Both of them hid away feelings from the other. He was not upset. He slid an arm around Josh and leaned into him as he listened. Carlos bit his lip. “So you thought you couldn’t be a good dad either. Okay.” He squeezed Kaleb’s hand as he tried to find a way to speak on his own troubles. “I don’t know how to be a good father. I didn’t… I didn’t have one. O-or parents. And I didn’t go to school. I didn’t… I didn’t have anything really growing up.” He never thought this was a problem. When it was just him, he was fine. When it was him and Kaleb, it was still fine. If he needed to learn anything, Kaleb was there to tell him. Now that he was having to raise children, everything felt different.

Nate disappeared on his own, and once he was cleaning, he took that time to breathe again. That was a lot that he needed to unpack all of a sudden. He was good at doing that. Finding things that did this to him. Was he doing better? He felt like he was. This might have been debilitating a few weeks ago. And poor Cameron probably dealt with him when he was younger and far worse. He couldn’t remember. That was a long time ago.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Josh felt the arm slide around him and felt Hayden lean into him as he spoke. He looked at Carlos and shook his head. "It's actually a common thing. My father didn't think he'd be good either. I overhead many conversations between my parents when I was younger." He replied before he listened to him. "Being a good father isn't about your past. Sure you might not have had a dad, or parents. And I'm not surprised that you didn't go to school. Many kids in QZ's didn't if they weren't Fireflies or FEDRA." He paused, glancing at Hayden and then back to Carlos again. "The hardest lesson becoming a dad? Realizing you're going to make mistakes, you're going to things that they won't like and they're going to get hurt, but seeing that smile on their face when they look at you like their hero, or when they accomplish something and show off, it makes all the doubt go away."

Alex and Cameron were quiet as they worked, though Alex was thinking about young Nate. "Cameron? What was Nate like when you guys were hanging out when you were younger?" Alex asked as Cameron hummed. "Well, he was a ball of energy, and he loved to play games with me. Which was great because I never had anyone to play games with."​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews, Carlos Price, Asher McCoy, Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Emmett Adler (and the Smith Clan)
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist, Former Hunter, Former Seraphite, Former WLF, Former Firefly | 21, 25, 32, 29, 25, 24 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Carlos was shocked to hear that this was something that people felt all the time. How could he be feeling the same as other people who were so much more prepared? Josh’s father would have been in the old world. How could he have not been prepared either? Hayden thought this was a good time to show another perspective. “I did not know that I was Kaiden’s father for several years. He was not officially ours for a long time, though I was fathering him long before that. It was everything I wanted, and I didn’t know it until it happened. Even with that, even though I would have dropped anything to be his father, I did not always make the right choices.” He paused as he looked at Josh and then the rest. “I ran him off. Smothered him with my supposed good parenting so much that he actually left. I was terrified that he would not return, and to be honest, if he hadn’t he would have had every right.” Hayden could tell that this story was terrifying Carlos more. Good. “But I had to acknowledge that I was being too much of a good parent. I was too much for him. We talked about it, and I would say that we are still very close. Except for when he chooses Ezekiel over me, which is… hard. And that’s okay too.”

Nate was too preoccupied to hear the conversation. He was not quite as in his head as he was when he was trying to figure out if he loved Alex or what he should do about it, but he was pretty stuck to himself. He worked efficiently though not quickly.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan, Kaleb Price, Jordan DeShay, Kaiden Lachlan, Elijah Lewis and Cameron Harris (and the Smith Clan)
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer, Former Smuggler, Former WLF, Former Seraphite, Former Firefly | 19, 27, 30, 26, 27, 23 | Current location ;; Wyoming

Josh listened to Hayden talking about his own experiences, and how there needed to be balance in parenting. "While Hayden was everything a good parent should be and more, he did smother Kaiden. That's where your partner comes in. When you need help, need some reassurance or even a different perspective, trust your partner. That was our biggest flaw then. Our relationship was still rocky then. Kaiden still loves us, both of us and seeing him when he finally came back? That just solidified that even though there was too much parenting, he loved us and came back home." Josh paused as he glanced at Hayden, leaning close to him. "How would you feel about adopting two more kids." Josh whispered to his husband. He could sense that both men could use a good set of parents in their lives.

Alex was surprised and fascinated as they continued to talk about Nate when he was younger. Soon, their stalls were done and Alex walked over to ?Nate's, leaning on the stall door. "Want some help to finish up? Then we can go for a walk through town?"​