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The Calling (DrTrollinski & Zhai)

Carl must be coming. Mia could hear the booth's unsteady foundation rattle, footsteps so heavy on the floor she was beginning to think the floors were hollow, and Sally's head was following something out the door. And it wasn't Mia. There was a second bell chiming, meaning someone else was coming out the door and she suspected it wasn't the waitress with her salad in a to-go box.


Okay, just stay calm. Mia prepared herself to ignore Carl calling her name or even evade him if he ran in front of her to stop her. But she wasn't prepared to be flung around to face his heavily flushed, tear stained, red eye'd face and his caught breathing. Carl is pissed. Beyond pissed. This may be worse than Carl's rage; the one that ended in his room tossed upside down. Hell, if he were in his room now with how pissed off he is now, Mia couldn't imagine how much worse he room would look.


Mia's mouth parted to say something to him but he beat her to it, and instead she stood her with her mouth still open, her eyes wide, and her breathing...nonexistent. She couldn't even tell if she was breathing through Carl's words. Through Carl's rant, was more like it. There were tears pouring out of his eyes and there were little sprays of spit coming from his mouth since he was talking so fast. Mia could see his hair and cheeks shaking because he was visibly pissed off. His eyes were dark, very dark.


When she thought he was done, Mia cleared her throat and spoke, "Ca-". No. Broken off again. He started spewing off more words about how he could love Jenna and her at the same time, how she didn't understand anything about love, how he needed something to look forward to and basically that Mia was being..selfish. She didn't think so. Honestly, she liked Jenna and Carl together, thought it was amazing. She wouldn't have invited the girl over that day if she didn't think so, but she still didn't agree with Carl thinking he was in love with this girl. After one night. Not even really a date. It was hanging out, eating cookies, and he walked her home,


When he was done - really done - Mia stood there silently. Watching Carl double over, more tears pouring out of his eyes and listening to him trying to catch his breath. That was...a lot. It as a lot for Carl to say and a lot for Mia to listen to, but nonetheless just like Carl said everything, Mia listened to it all. She heard his every word.


"I'm sorry." That was it. Mia inhaled so deep that she felt a pain in her lungs from so much air being held in there, and she exhaled it sharply. "I'm sorry, Carl."
 
He slowly walked up and stood in front of her, the tears still falling rapidly from his eye and onto the floor. It took a minute of thinking before he pulled off his next action. He may have felt angry, but it was so hard to be angry at the person he loved most in the world. It was tough to even imagine himself as angry - He was just more upset. Upset, tired, hungry, and stressed out. He'd been trying to hold everyone's emotion in place (everyone being himself and Mia) and it had all built up, and hearing that just... broke him. That was all.


Carl had already forgiven her long before she'd apologized, even though his anger and sadness showed otherwise. Sometimes Carl thought that Mia was the only one who actually understood his anger. The only one who actually knew what it entailed and what happened whenever it decided to escape - they both knew it a lot. He did and said a lot of things that he sometimes didn't mean, all because he couldn't hold in the emotion behind his words anymore. That was all. She knew the truth behind his outbursts... He'd lost a lot of friends because of it, got into a lot of trouble...


It's one of the reasons that he didn't want to lose Jenna. She could look past the anger and see Carl for what he really was. He didn't want to lose Mia, though, if he had to choose, he'd choose Mia for any minute of the day. He didn't want to choose, though. He was tired of having temporary friends. He was tired of people ditching him because he was 'too foul-tempered' - He wanted someone that he knew he could trust to always respect him for what he was on the inside, and not for what his anger made him out to be.


Bottom line was: He still loved Mia, so he hugged her.


God, he hugged her so tight that it was close to her not being able to breathe. Sheesh. All of that time at the gym had really made him quite the wrestler - It was a good thing this didn't spiral off into something violent. That would never happen. Not between them two (not at this late into their lives, at least) - Carl always tried to hold back if he felt the anger coming on when he was around Mia, unless it was necessary to let it out. He either tried to bottle it away (which was unhealthy), or he let it out when she wasn't around. Which helped out, but he usually caused a lot of havoc.


"I love you, Mia!" He sobbed into her shoulder, still hugging her as strongly as he could. "I can't be angry at you, I just can't!" He bawled. ".. I love you so, so much... I--.. I will always be here for you, I'm just--.. I'm tired of losing people... I don't want to lose anyone else..." He broke down into more tears. ".. Every friend I've had, everyone I thought I could trust... They always left me because I was a fucking psycho!" He cried. ".. Everyone except you..." He sniffled, "Please... Please, never leave me... If it all goes wrong, you're the only person I'll have left." He whimpered quietly, and then just went back to hugging her and crying on her shoulder. ".. It's--.. It's why I didn't want to lose Jenna, because--.. because she hasn't left me yet, either... And--.. I don't want to have to choose, Mia! Please don't make me choose, please don't make me..." He begged, his voice shaking like crazy. He sure was upset, but it was the truth now. No anger, just pure upset and honesty.


They really needed to go and eat. It was getting late, and like a young child, Carl was all the more tearful now because of how damn exhausted he was. He imagined that Mia was the same. He thought about Jen (what a surprise), and he remembered when they first became friends in Elementary. One day, Carl threw a chair across the room, shouted, pushed and shoved, and the next day, no one spoke to him. No one except Mia and Jenna. It felt like it was them and (sometimes) there parents who were the only people capable of seeing past the disadvantage that Carl had in his system.
 
Carl's tears were so many that Mia could feel them soaking through the hoodie - which she thought was fairly thick - and reaching down to the shirt underneath. His breath was warm as he breathed heavily into her shoulder. She didn't pull away from his time. More like couldn't pull away from him, and instead returned his embrace. Although hers wasn't quite as strong as Carl's, she did her best to squeeze her brother's body and let him know she was listening. That she was really hearing everything he was saying.


He loved her. Okay, she knew that. There was no point in which Mia doubted that Carl didn't love her. He loved Jenna. Well she still personally debated that but thought better not to argue with Carl. If he felt he knew what he wanted and how he felt - great. Mia couldn't feel what Carl felt and she didn't want to. Frankly, she wanted to avoid whatever cloudiness Carl was experiencing with Jenna. That yearning. Mia chalked it up to yearning still.


Mia leans out of Carl's embrace - more like peels out of his killer hold - and holds him at arm's length. With Carl in front of her face again, she took him in. Puffy eyes, ruffled hair, wrinkled shirt, fat quivering lip, wet face. Damn. He looked like he'd been crying. Mia smiled at her brother's disheveled appearance. The waitress inside was sure to look at them funny again after they came back inside.


"I won't make you choose, Carl." Even though she knew, he'd hesitate on his answer. Blood is thicker than Water, right? No. Right now in Mia's eyes, she imagined that in Carl's head it was Blood or Water. Mia or Jenna? Sister or Girlfriend? Forever or Maybe Forever? "You won't ever have to pick. I love you, Carl."


Mia smile again, leaned in and kissed her brother's moist, hot cheek. Once more she smiled, nodded at Carl, and dropped her hands from holding his shoulders. "Let's eat. I'm getting tired, too." Mia moved around her brother and casually walked back to the diner, the thought of who Carl would chose still heavy on her head. Inside the waitress straightened from leaning against the bar side, and called back to the cook, Maybe Carl told her to hold the food.


She sat back in their booth, and sighed deeply, just wanting to eat and ready to get to bed.
 
Carl went back to the booth with her and sat down opposite her, but was quick to take hold of her hand across the table, followed by squeezing it tightly as he blinked a couple of times. He saw Sally disappear into the kitchen, and assumed that she was off to get them their food again. It was about time, too. Carl could smell it from here, and it was making his stomach growl. Right now, though, he figured that he might have even owed Mia a bit of an apology. He did react quite severely, and although what he said was really how he felt, he could have done it in at least a little bit more of a calm way.


Well. Maybe not calm, but... At least not as... shouty.


".. Mia..." He sighed and started to gently run his thumb over the top of her hand. ".. I'm sorry, too... I got a bit--.. It all got to me a bit much, and... I sort of flipped out, you know?" He gulped. ".. I hope you can forgive me, and... about what you were saying, I mean... I can understand where you're coming from about... Well, everything. I've known Jenna since Third Grade... I had a thing for her since Fifth Grade." He chuckled a little. ".. If--.. Honestly... I'd never let anyone come between you and I, alright? Not mom and dad, not Mrs Greene, and not even Jenna... If you're really not comfortable with me calling her, or whatever... That's fine. I'll just hope that she'll wait for me." He took a deep breath. "Honestly, though... I think we should at least make some sort of contact when we get back to town... Last I heard, she was under a lot of stress... Her dad's been really sick, and she doesn't know what's wrong with him. If we do anything, I want to at least check up on her and see how things are... Perhaps it'll be better that way, seeing as we'd be able to sit down and talk to her in person about it." He took a long deep breath.


He heard someone walking through the kitchen.


"Regardless, Mia... If you don't want to do that either, that's fine... I just--.. I hope you can forgive me for... For whatever I've fucked up, I guess." He said, giving a glum sigh as he squeezed her hand once again.
 
"Carl, you don't need to ask for forgiveness. There's nothing that needs to be forgiven, y'know? We were just...just talking and sharing our feelings, right? No harm, no foul. Okay?" Mia squeezed Carl's hand and gave him a small smile, nodding her head. She could see the waitress coming over with large tray and her coffee pot, of course. It was amazing that at whatever age she was she could hold a heavily weighted tray on one hand and a pot of coffee in the other. They didn't even need coffee.


When she started placing food down, Mia pulled her hand out of Carl's, grabbing her fork and beginning to poke through her salad. It was a smallish salad and she instantly regretted not ordering the pancakes as originally planned. Whatever. It was a cheap meal and they needed to preserve as much money as possible. They needed to pay for a motel for the night, cab fare, more food, and probably another motel.


Mia sped through her salad, down her water, rejected a refill, and waited for Carl to finish slowly working his way around a series of plates on the table. Not to mention is several refills and the time he took trying to perfect his coffee. That was at least five minutes of pouring sugar and cream, tasting, and then doing it again until he got it right. Mia remembered he made their Father's coffee once and poured at least half a cup of sugar into the mug. After that, Father understandably. never asked Carl to make it again. It made Father nervous just having Carl around the coffee pot.


When Carl was done, the check was paid, and they were out of the diner in the cool of the night again, Mia sighed. She was tired. Exhausted was more like it. Her legs felt like jelly, her muscles felt like they were about to fall off under her skin, her eyes were heavy as hell and it took a miracle to blink without just falling asleep standing up. She needed a bed. Stat.


They walked away from the diner, down the gravel roadway, past a gas station, a bar, a convenience store, and finally at the end of the gravel drive - the motel. An 'C' shaped, two story, plain pale blue and white motel; nothing special, nothing fancy, and it doesn't look too questionable. It's lit up, it's painted white, and there's plenty of cars parked there that Mia doesn't think murders or rapists are hiding out in here. At least if there were any of those types around, they could just scream and know there's enough people around to hear them.
 
Carl made sure he shared his meals with Mia. He gave her two of the four pancakes and some fries, too. She needed to eat something proper. Not some crappy rabbit food - it wasn't like he didn't have enough. He ate through his quickly, and must have drank about five cups of coffee before he finally decided that he'd had enough. Boy, he was certainly going to be peeing a lot after that. They'd have to hope he didn't wet the bed after that. Why? Well... You'll see.


He enjoyed a peaceful walk down the road with Mia after they were done with their meal, it was nice now that the breeze was cleared and he'd said everything he needed to. He was happy that he managed to get forgiveness from her as well - Maybe this time it was different. Hopefully that would be the last argument they'd ever have that went that high up on the scale. Who knew.


Once they got to the motel, Carl had to sign for a room for two people. It was a quaint little motel, and it could have been a lot worse, too. The best part was that he didn't give his real name. He signed them down as James and Katrina Richards - And boy, he made up a pretty good signature on the spot, and then handed off the thirty dollars for the night.


The place wasn't too bad, but when the door creaked open and they revealed one double bed, Carl's jaw dropped. He said a room for two. Not a room for a couple. Jesus Christ. What could they do? He was tired, and Mia was as well. He slowly turned to her after locking the door, and then a smile slowly stretched across his face right before he burst out into laughter.


"Well, little sister... Looks like we're sharing a bed again, just like the good old days." He smirked. ".. I'll put on a full suit of PJ's, just so you don't get any ideas." He winked and then walked over to the bed, collapsing onto it with a yawn. "This ain't too bad for a cheap motel. It ain't royalty, but it's comfy enough for one night." He laughed a little.
 
Katrina? Ugh, come on, Carl! Couldn't pick a better name than that?! When Carl said the names, Mia's nose wrinkled in protest. Why would he pick that name for her? She thought maybe he'd ask her what she wanted to be called. Mia tried not to seem so sour over the whole 'Katrina' name thing but she couldn't help remembering a Katrina from Fifth Grade; who was in love with Carl. The girl was nearly impossible to even be around, always talking about Carl at sleepovers, leaving gifts and notes at his seat and locker, and spreading rumors. Mia never hated anyway but she was close to hating Katrina.


Okay, just let it go, Mia. It's just a name and it's easy to remember, right? Except the fact that every time she would say it she'd think of that crazy person.


After getting the keys, paying for the room, and making the walk to the second floor - Mia wasn't so salty about Carl giving her the name Katrina. When he opened the door to their room and they walked in, she was mildly disappointed to see a single bed. Though it was wide, it was just one bed. Where was the two twin beds? No matter how narrow they may be, at least she didn't have to worry about her brother's morning wood stabbing her in the back possibly. Mia shuddered at that thought and Carl's next comment didn't reassure her any more.


"Carl, I would never want to do anything...a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. With you. Not ever."


She stuck her tongue out and pretended to gag at the idea that she would cuddle up to her brother. Even when they shared a bed when they were younger, they kept their own space. Mia on her side. Carl on his side. Their feet, legs, or hands may touch but never more than that. Now that they were older and more developed, it was going to be even more awkward. She thought maybe she wouldn't even sleep tonight.
 
"Mia." He started, kicking off his shoes and taking a deep breath. "Every girl would dive at the chance to do anything with me, alright? I thought you knew that already?" He grinned. "Don't worry... I'm not about to commit adultery with my own sister, so relax." He said, and then slipped off his shirt and pants before reaching into his bag and pulling out his blue PJ's - he slipped the PJ pants over his underwear, and the shirt over his head (obviously) and then looked at her, his hands held out at his sides.


"And it's as simple as that. Double wrapped with underwear and PJ's, not naked at all. Happy?" He chuckled a little and then wormed his way into the bed, sighing a little as he set his head down on the pillow. He was still lying there staring at Mia. Something was playing at his mind, but it made him smile. It was quite a nice little thought - Sure, they shared a bed when they were younger, and when they got to the age where they were conscious about what touched wear, yeah, there were the limitations, but... Still. Some of the thoughts were nice, but Carl would never propose any of it to happen again, seeing as he wouldn't exactly be comfortable with it, either.


"You must remember when we were little..." He smiled. "During the Winter if we shared a bed... I mean, we were really young, but... We'd get into bed, Mrs Greene would bring us hot cocoa... and... We'd just snuggle up together. You remember that?" He chuckled a little as he stood back up and walked over to stand in front of her, a smile still sitting on his face. "Now... We might not be all cuddly and all that, but how about a hug before bed, eh?" He asked, holding his arms open. He wanted another hug from her - it was nice earlier on when they were hugging, even under the circumstances. He just wanted to wish her goodnight with his big brotherly arms. "Come on, you know you want to." He smirked.
 
"Whoa, whoa now." Mia's hands rose up to her ears, hovering over them in a pretend attempt to ignore Carl's monologue about himself. Ever the self-confident Carl and not even running away, having a fat lip, and with no women around to preach to - nothing had slowed down his ego train. "Carl...you are not God's gift to women. Besides, we came in two didn't we? So that'd make me...God's gift to men." Mia held her hands out, did a circle, and rested her hands on her hips. Now, she knew Carl would react poorly to that! He hated any guy that looked at her, made an attempt at her, or even thought about her. It was probably a big brother thing, since she didn't consider Carl old enough to be a 'man'. Hell, he looked mature but he wasn't even old enough to walk around the liquor store without parents around or watch a rated 'R' movie at the theater.


She watched Carl dramatically and sarcastically change into his pajamas. The ones she thought he hated because they weren't 'sexy' or 'manly' or something like that he'd said. Mrs. Greene had brought them for him because she was tired of walking in on his half nakedness laid in bed. Sometimes completely naked. So she bought him the most prude pajamas probably in the whole store, and she must have gone through great lengths for them. These days pajamas consisted of a shirt or pants, or maybe you get both.


Mia listened to her brother bring up an old memory - really old. They hadn't shared hot cocoa in bed since they were, hm, five or six. They only did it two Winters and after that, they just sort of stopped. Well, not necessarily stopped having cocoa together but it wasn't in bed. Carl on his computer or phone or downstairs watch television. Mia had hers in her room or the kitchen. She continued to listen to Carl talk as she went top to bottom in her bag, searching for something bed worthy. Unlike Carl she didn't bring pajamas, not even expecting to have to be on the run long enough to change into pajamas in a motel!


That being said - this shirt and these underwear would have to do. She'd bought plenty of day time clothes, the casual kind, and she could spare these two articles of clothing to sleep in. Now, she just needed to change without Carl.


"You want a hug, huh? Let's make it quick. I've got to pee and change." Mia smiled, leaned in, and quickly - just as she said - embraced Carl. Quick squeeze. She leaned back, smiled like she was happy with her decision to quick-hug, and retreated to the bathroom. The only bathroom. It was hardly even a bathroom but Mia knew she couldn't keep going around comparing everything to home.


The toilet was right by the door, the sink nestled in a single counter right beside the toilet and the shower-tub was behind the door. That was it. You turned in a circle and everything you need was a step away. There definitely wasn't room for Mia and Carl in here at the same time. Mia quickly peeled out of her clothes and took advantage of the mini hygiene items. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, and of course, the towel that felt like sandpaper. Seriously, Mia was beginning to consider just air air drying by the time the towel had moved south to keep drying her off.


Before she left the bathroom she opened the door just enough to poke her head out and see Carl, "You need to close your eyes or something. My God's gift to men needs a private second to get into bed without your prying eyes."
 
"God's gift to men? Well, it's a good thing I'm the Anti-Christ then, isn't it?" He grinned and then waited for her to come to him, and then engaged in the hug all the same. It was a quick hug, but it was better than nothing. He briefly rubbed her back in the hug, and when she pulled away, he looked at her and forced a faint smile onto his face. He couldn't help but feel sad, or a little... I don't know what it was. A little torn - And no, that didn't involve Jenna. There was just... Something else.


"Night, sis. Love ya'." He said to her, and then went back over to the bed and climbed into it; he took a long deep breath as he watched Mia disappear into the bathroom, and then set his head down on the pillow. This place honestly looked like it hadn't been decorated since the 80's, but that didn't matter. There was no point in even complaining about it anymore. It was definitely better than spending a night at Lydia's house, or out on the streets (even though a night on the streets would be better than Lydia's house as well). This was going to have to do for a couple more days. They were going to need at least this just to get some stability.


He actually wondered if Mrs Greene was still housekeeping. Sure, she was bound by contract, but their parents weren't confirmed dead or alive. Only missing. Surely, if it was down to her, she'd work to her last day of life if it meant waiting for even one member of the family to return. Mrs Greene was so kindhearted it was unreal. Carl swore that she'd do the work she did voluntarily, but that never happened. She had to make a living for herself. She enjoyed her private accommodation by the pool, and she enjoyed her job more than anything.


"Sure." He said weakly, and then rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. He didn't know why, but he still had some sort of feeling tugging at his heart. Regardless, he'd let Mia get into bed. That wasn't a problem at all if she wanted her privacy - I mean, what was Carl going to do apart from make a joke, or something? I mean, hell... Let's face it, they'd seen each other naked when they were younger. Sure, things have changed a bit, but... It still happened. Surely underwear was alright to see, right?
 
Something's not right. Not necessarily not right about the room or even them having to share a bed; that was all okay. It was something with Carl. First he's joking, modeling his pajamas, reminiscing when they were younger, and wanting a final night's hug. Now he was tucked in bed, silent; looking like he'd just had his heart broken or lost his best friend. Mia didn't get right into bed as she planned to and instead stood on the side of the bed Carl had designated hers. Quietly watching her brother's back rise and fall. At least he's still breathing, right?


"Okay!" Mia sighed, threw her hands up in question, and walked around to Carl's side of the bed. "What's going on, my twin born fifteen seconds before me?" That was true. Carl was only older because of a fifteen second difference. It could have been either of them and Carl beat her to the...exit. He was also the bigger twin as far was weight. It was understandable he dropped first.


Never mind that.


Mia stood on Carl's side of the bed, her hands pulling back the covers to expose him more. What could it be, huh? Mia tried to think of the possible reasons Carl's mode had plummeted in the last ten minutes. Jenna? Mom? Dad? Money problems? 'Shower' problems? Worried about school? What is it?
 
Carl slowly rolled over and then looked up at her, taking a deep breath as he looked into her eyes. He put on the best smile he could manage and then reached up and took her by the hand, and pulled her down to sit beside him on the bed. He didn't know what he was going to say, because he was struggling to describe what was wrong himself right now. It might have been the caffeine of the five cups of coffee he drank getting to his system, but he'd done worse than that - On one weekend he stayed up all night when he was thirteen, had about twelve cups of coffee through the night, and then had outrageous diarrhea the following day. Yep. Good times.


He knew it was going to take more than five cups of coffee to make him feel like this, though.


".. I just--.." He sighed a little and closed his eyes for a split second, and then shuffled out of bed so that he could sit next to her. ".. I've just been thinking about things, that's all... And... I just feel--.. I don't know. I feel a little down, that's all... It's just all catching up with me, know what I mean? I mean, I got over the sudden change ages ago, but... There's just something else that's really making me feel... Weak, and depressed. I don't know, Mia... I hope you understand it, though... It was just a sudden drop in things, and... I feel really down about it." He shrugged weakly and looked down at the floor. He looked up at Mia for a second, but his eyes were quick to return to the ground.
 
This must be serious. Carl hadn't made a joke about her underwear being bright enough to be a traffic beacon; he hadn't tossed a pillow at her asking her to cover up; he hadn't made a joke about her chest or how disheveled her hair was in a wet, half-ass bun attempt. He took her hand, and she let herself be weighed down to sit beside him on the bed. Okay now what, Carl? Mia waited quietly for him to start.


Silence. Nothing for at least a minute.


Mia was about to speak when Carl finally got out of bed and angled himself to sit beside her. Mia was back to thinking whatever Carl was about to say was serious again. She sucked in a small breath and waited for him to start reeling off his feelings about none other than Jenna. Maybe he was going to start talking about that kiss again and wishing he could kiss her again. Maybe he was going to start talking about the 'maybe future' with Jenna; the whole kids, house, and dog in the backyard picture again. It could be that he was having an emotional break down and was about to start spiral down in a depressed state thinking that Jenna might have moved on by now. Dating some other fourteen year old guy in our grade or even dating someone older.


Mia had to clear her throat just to stop her train of thought. Carl probably wasn't thinking all those things but she couldn't be so sure. She thought about a lot of stuff, so she knew Carl was the same way.


When he started speaking, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion, trying to figure out what he could be talking about. What was he talking about. 'Catching up with him' - could it be the part about running away, bashing his face in, and ending up in this motel? Mia admitted that it was all starting to really dawn on her, too; they'd actually done it. Escaped Lydia, ran through the foods, and now here.


Then he says, 'sudden changes'; what could that be? Parents missing. Mrs. Greene gone. Jenna gone. Into foster care and out in the woods. Ending up here.


Mia's eyes searched around the room like the answer to her brother's riddles were sitting on the lone desk against the wall, hidden in the radiator, or hanging on the thick, ugly curtains. Seriously, those curtains were hideous. Honestly, who thought that patt- Okay, that didn't matter. Back to Carl.


"Carl..." Mia start, finally looking back at her brother's face, "Are you...are you talking about puberty?"


Alright, so she admitted that this was the last thing she wanted to talk with Carl about but she thought maybe that was what was on his mind. Fourteen year old guy not understanding himself. Typical.
 
He paused and then took a deep breath before shaking his head. Well. That was a bit of a disappointment. He'd hit puberty quite a long time ago, sure, he was still going through it, but it was nothing he hadn't spoken to his father about, or anything like that. He didn't need to talk about something that he already knew about, something that he was experiencing (but was mostly done with) - No. No, it wasn't that. It definitely wasn't that. It was something else. Something different and more... emotional.


"No." He said, and then looked at the floor and sighed again. Soon enough, he put an arm around her shoulders and then put his head down against her own, in a perfect twin-like fashion. When you were twins, you could sort of develop these things where you knew what the other person was saying. It was the same for any regular brother and sister, to be honest, but... For twins, it was sometimes a little stronger. One twin could give off a grunt or a murmur, and the other would know what they meant by it. One twin could hug them or get close to them in a certain way, and the other would know why, or what the meaning behind it was - that was what Carl was doing right now.


".. It's--.. I don't know. It's probably nothing. Maybe I just feel homesick, or something... I don't know." He shrugged a little. He didn't think that Mia was going to be able to see what was wrong, or offer him any support. As sad as that sounds, seeing as she could be quite good at that, for the most part. ".. Perhaps it'd be a better idea to forget that I said anything, alright?" He said, gently patting her furthest shoulder. He did want to talk about it, but if Mia didn't know what to talk about, they were sort of at a checkmate here.
 
"Wha-?" Mia perked up when her brother's dismissed the talk he started. What just happened here? She guessed wrong, yeah but that didn't mean she didn't want to know what was actually wrong. She searched Carl's face again for clues. For anything! Anything that could tell her what was going on with him. So it wasn't puberty. Right. Got it. Wrong guess. What could it be next? Jenna?


"Is it Jenna, Carl?" Mia turned her body on the bed to better look at Carl, looking for something in his actions or his voice to tell her she guessed right. If this was emotional it had to be about Jenna, the feelings he talked about earlier and how Mia pretty much squashed them. Yeah, she felt bad for that now. She was just being an asshole - kind of - and was trying to hit her brother's buttons, which she did successfully. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I mean if you love her, you love her, right? I'm not going to stand in your way."


When she didn't exactly get the reaction she was looking for at that statement, Mia tried again.


"Is it our parents?" That's plausible. "Look I know it sucks right now but we'll be fine. We'll find them alive or de-" Her voice caught and she sucked in a shallow breath, unable to complete her sentence. Okay she didn't want to find hem dead but it was better than never finding them at all. At least with bodies they had closure. They had something to bury and visit.


"We'll get our lives back." Mia patted her brother's shoulder and nodded, trying to believe her own words for his sake. For both their sake.
 
".. I know you wouldn't stand in my way..." He sighed and then set his head down on her shoulder. ".. It's not a problem, what you said earlier... Yeah, it hurt a bit, but--.." He paused. "Well, it hurt a lot." He gulped. "That's not the point, though... I'm not angry for that anymore, it's not worth being angry over that... Yeah, I'm certain I do love her... I mean, I've had that little thing for her since Fifth Grade... It took a lot of courage to actually ask her out on a date, but... I think I was already in love before I did that, because--.. It's not because of the hormones, or anything like that... It's because she's like you, in a way... She understands me. She doesn't--.." He stopped. He was going to say that neither of them took advantage of him, but after what happened tonight, he felt that that wasn't really entirely true anymore. ".. She doesn't shove me aside when the going gets tough... She's a lot like you, you see... I love her for what sort of person she's been to me, for the fact that she didn't give up on me whenever I flipped out at her or got a little too crazy." He gulped a little.


"And I suppose it was nice to have someone else who knew me like that. I thought you were the only one, Mia." He said, his voice finally becoming a little more weak. He hugged her tightly, but not too tight, just enough to know that she was there. ".. You've never given up on me, either." He smiled weakly. ".. I think maybe--.. Maybe tonight at the diner, I think... I think we both gave up on each other." He said, biting his lip. "At least for a while. I mean, you walked off, and--.. I was just... I was just being me when I got angry. We just... we gave up on each other, Mia... You shouldn't have said what you said, and I shouldn't have acted the way I did." He took a long and shaky deep breath and rubbed her back a little.


".. Even if our parents are dead or alive... Please... We can't give up on each other again. We just can't. We just..." He sighed. ".. I don't know..." He shook his head a little. ".. If things go wrong, Mia... If we never find our parents, if we end up being orphans, if Jenna ends up leaving me because we never got in contact... I just... I'm not gonna' give up on you, okay?" He choked.
 
"Carl, you don't have to worry about giving up on me. Just know I won't give up on you, okay?" That's all Carl needed to know. Mia didn't want to keep elaborating on the talk - more like the fight - they had earlier in and out of the diner. There wasn't an reason to keep dwelling on it. It would be comparable to throwing salt in a festering wound. She wanted to bury the conversation earlier as much as Carl probably did.


Mia kissed Carl's temple, lifted his head, and crawled over to her side of the bed. "Let's just get to bed. We're both tired." It wasn't cold in here but Mia didn't want to sleep on top of the covers in her underwear. She pulled the sheet over herself, laid on her side with her back to Carl, and sighed, trying to relax on the stiff bed. Boy, it was stiff. Sleeping on a pile of leaves was probably more comfortable than this mattress. "Love you. Stop being depressed."


Content with her last words to him, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come. Anything! She didn't know how long she laid there before she finally went to sleep.


***


No clock on this side. Maybe it's on Carl's side of the bed.


Mia's eyes were barely open as she stretched out, groaned, and slowly sat up in the bed. Goddamn that mattress was hard and her back felt like there were bruises up and down the length of her spine. Not enough stretching in the world could get out the kinks in her muscles from sleeping here.


Looking around it dawned on her where they were again - motel. Not home. Runaways. Got it. It was all coming back now. On Carl's side of the bed, there was the clock; it's almost half past seven in the morning. The curtains were so thick that there was barely light coming in from outside. And she was sure this room faced right where the Sun would come in the brightest.


Swinging her legs off the edge of the bed, she sighed again. That salad was last night was nonexistent in her stomach. God, she was starving.
 
Carl offered her one last sad smile, a nod, and another hug before he lied back down in bed and flicked the lights off. He was happy for the most part, happy that she wasn't going to give up on him like she did earlier on. He could find happiness in that, but there was going to need to be more than what they had now in order for him to find happiness. He still had this gut-wrenching feeling going through him over and over again, and that was quite horrible to experience.


"Goodnight..." He yawned to her once they were both lied down. God, Carl was sure that he'd never fallen asleep so quickly in his whole life. He was out like a light within a couple of minutes. He was pretty sure he just passed out, to be honest.


--


The rustling he heard in the bed the next morning woke him up, and then one thing popped into his mind as soon as he opened his eyes and looked at the clock. It felt like there were a dozen muscles that had been pulled in his groin. Jesus. The one thought was playing over and over in his head.


Coffee. Bathroom.





Okay. He needed to go. He got up, didn't take even a moment to look at Mia, and then shot off to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, followed by locking it. The bathroom was only a few feet away from the bed. Carl was sure that their main bathroom in their house was bigger than this whole motel room, but, like Mia, he couldn't keep comparing this to things he knew before. That wasn't a good idea, not one bit.


Still. He must have been pissing for about two minutes straight.


He knew he shouldn't have drank so much coffee.


Once he was done, he flushed the toilet and washed his hands, and then made his way back out into the room and shot a glance off at Mia, he went and started digging through his bag that he'd tucked under the bed, and then took a little sigh. He smiled at her, though, and the only thing that was really sore from the previous night was his lip. The bad feelings were gone... Mostly.


"Morning, Mia." He smiled a little. ".. I'm gonna' take a shower, and then we can go and get breakfast. I may have given you some pancakes and some fries last night, but that wasn't enough. You're not eating rabbit food this morning, okay?" He smirked a little. "I'll treat you to a full breakfast, okay? Or a bacon sandwich, or some pancakes - Whatever it is. You're eating something good this morning, you need to keep your strength up." He said, and then swung some clothes from his bag up onto his shoulder. "You need to get in the bathroom before I shower?" He asked.
 
What's with that look? Mia's eyebrow shot up in question at her brother's quiet look. It wasn't even long enough to be a look, it was barely a glance and was more of that look people give on the street when someone passes. It wasn't acknowledgement, just..'Oh you'. Mia took her brother's silent kind of acknowledgment and didn't say anything about. Maybe he was busy with something. With what?


Mia turned around to see Carl going through his bag. Going to shower. Got it. Getting back into bed, leaning against the headboard and pulling the sheet to cover her lap. she responded to Carl's question. "Nah, I can wait. You go ahead."


When Carl disappeared into the bathroom and she could hear the lock thrown into place on the other side - she quickly got out of bed, threw on a fresh pair of jeans, shoved her feet into her shoes, grab her room key and went out the door. All before she even heard the shower turn on in the bathroom. Outside it was busier than it was yesterday but understandably because they did come here at night. There were a few people lingering around the motel parking lot, maybe checking out or checking in of this place.


It was sunny outside. Really sunny out here. Mia squinted against it and started walking to the nearest staircase to the bottom floor. There was a guy smoking right beneath the staircase and he didn't look much older than maybe sixteen or eighteen. He paused smoking long enough to hold a stare with Mia, but she quickly passed him. No time to chat.


Okay, where to next? She didn't have any money to go to the diner and frankly she just wanted to get outside for some fresh air. Standing under a thin stretch of shade, Mia watched people walking through the motel's parking lot. A few families, a few singles, a group of teenagers; the trucks that were parked all the way at the end of the drive had multiplied. What was three was now at least nine semi trucks parked side by side, one behind the other. There were guys in ball caps and flannels walking everywhere.


It was actually very crowded out here now that she thought about it. Her eyes continued to search through the increasing number of people and she saw it...powder blue pick up truck that looked like it jumped out of a Sarah Plain and Tall novel. Parked at the gas station. She squinted again, trying not to panic, and saw that no one was in it.


"Shit.." Mia retreated back up the stairs, a few doors down and to their room. She quickly carded into the room, closed the door, and leaned against it.
 
Carl didn't take the time in the shower to do what he'd usually do, mostly because he knew that Mia was going to be able to hear him if he did that. He was going to have to wait until they got home. Then he could... take care of business, I guess. Regardless, it was nice to have a hot shower. After all of the running about and crying last night, it really did wake him up, I'll say that much. He felt so relieved to be able to wash his hair with shampoo and his body with shower body wash. It was amazing. He didn't stop until every inch of his body felt clean and fresh, but yet, he only spent about five minutes in the shower.


When Carl wasn't 'engaging in action' in the shower, he was really quick in there. He wasn't a fan of taking long showers. He didn't see the point of it. If he wanted to relax, he'd run a bath and soak in the water for twenty minutes, but if he was having a shower, he got things done as quick as he could. Once he was done, he climbed out of the shower and picked up one of the towels that was the equivalent of sandpaper. He dried off the top half of his body, but when he got to the area below the waist...


Yeah, no chance was he using that towel there.


He patted the towel against his skin when he got below the waist level, just so he could dry off that way. He didn't want to end up grinding down his manhood with some dodgy towel, did he? Christ, he wouldn't be surprised if that thing was riddled with STD's from other patrons who had used it and--


Okay. He was grossing himself out now. He tossed the towel aside and then slipped on the clothes he'd got out to wear for today. His hooded sweatshirt being one of them, just in case he needed to hide his face from anything. Heh. No. That wasn't it. He just liked hoodies. Some dark grey jeans, white sneakers, a blue polo shirt, and a smoke-grey hoodie. Perfect. He made his way back out of the bathroom and over to the bed and started digging through his bag, but noticed something.


Mia was glued to the door as if she was holding it back. Like there was someone trying to get in, or something. Thankfully, all of the curtains were closed, and whoever was manning the booking booth last night would have changed shifts with someone for this morning, so, whenever Carl was going to find out about Lydia possibly being here, he wasn't going to panic. They were surely safe, and they just had to wait for them to leave.


".. Is... Something wrong, Mia?" He asked.
 
Damn, why is he so calm?! Mia was freaking! Oh..Right..he doesn't know because he wasn't out there.


As calm as anyone could be who's a runaway wanted foster child about to possibly be caught again could be...Mia inhaled deeply and exhaled, turning around to look through the small peep hole through the door. No one was outside their door. So maybe no one saw her rush up here. Can't be too sure, though. Mia went over to the curtains and made sure they were pinch together so not even the light could get in. Throwing the two locks on the door, she walked over to Carl, still trying to be calm.


"I think Lydia is here." Mia looked into Carl's eyes, just to make sure he was looking back and paying attention. "I saw their tru-..Well I don't know it's their exact truck, y'know? But I saw truck that looks exactly like their truck. It was at the gas station just a few feet away. I swear. I saw it. It was over here." Grabbing his elbow she ushered her brother over to the window, pulling back the curtain just enough to look into the gas station's direction. "Okay, it was...it was.."


Mia tripped and stumbled over her words, her eyebrows pulling together in disbelief and her hand dropping from Carl's elbow. "No, it was.." The curtain was opened a little wider now and she stood here, pointing at - no truck. Nothing. Where she had seen the powder blue pick up, there was a white car in it's place. "That can't be right. It was there."


Frantic now not to sound like a complete paranoid nut, Mia's head switched around quickly, her eyes looking for the powder blue sore thumb in the crowd of cars. Nothing. There wasn't even a blue car parked out there. There was a car of every other color except a powder blue pick up. What the hell? Walking back to the door and releasing the two locks, she slowly opened the door to look out; still nothing. She could pick Lydia and Travis out of a line up with one light bulb and a hand over her good eye, but she definitely didn't see them lingering around anywhere. All of the buildings in the little rest stop area faced each other, and therefore parking as the same way, and she looked through every parking lot until the edge of the drive. No powder blue pickup.


"I...saw it." Her voice sounded so small, even to her. It was there and then it wasn't. Surely she hadn't had such a bad night's sleep that she was beginning to see shit.
 
Carl's heart kind of stopped when he heard the talk of Lydia's truck possibly being seen. Hm. Odd. He didn't want to know about it, but... if she was really here, they were going to need to make sure they got out of there as quick as they could. Okay. Nice and calm. He went over to the window and peeked out at what Mia was pointing at and saw--


Nothing.


Nothing was there. No blue truck. No scrawny alcoholic woman. No fat teenager. Nothing. Not even a bad smell. He sighed a little, and then began to think of this a little more logically. He gently pulled Mia away from the window and then put both of his hands on her shoulders and then pulled her a little closer to him so that he could look into her eyes, taking a deep breath as he gently rubbed her shoulders and smiled.


"Mia... Think about this from another point of view. It was outside the gas station, right? Chances are that she was just coming here for gas - It's the closer place for it here, isn't it? Not only that... If she was here, why would she look here of all places? The town's not huge, but for all she knows, we're not even in town. We could be halfway across the Country for all she knows." He chuckled a little. "Plus, what if... What if she doesn't report us missing? What if she decides to just... You know, not say a word and continue to collect the money? Maybe she wanted us to run off - No more mouths to feed, no more effort - Free cash, essentially." He smiled. "Plus, we're under fake names, and the guy who marked us down isn't on shift. There's no way of her knowing that we're here... We'll leave it fifteen minutes to see if we see them around at all, and then we'll go for breakfast, and then hit the road, okay?" He smiled at her and rubbed her shoulders again.
 
What he's saying makes sense, but how can he be sure the town is so small that they all get gas station at the same two pumps at a rest stop area? They don't even know where they are and assuming the town is the size of a shoe box doesn't have any hard fact behind it; but what else was she to believe? Perhaps they were just getting gas...at the only two gas pumps in town...at a rest stop. Even though Mia wanted to fight that statement, she wanted less to start an argument or raise both their paranoid meters. So she nodded at Carl's words, accepting his excuse. Stepping out of Carl's arms and around him, she went back to the window and pulled back the curtains. So Lydia and Travis...getting gas. For what? What could they need gas for? Lydia obviously couldn't afford better food so why would she spend money on expensive gas? Maybe it was just a small amount to get them around, or maybe it was her life savings worth of gas so she could drive to the police. Tell them what happened.


Or she could be hunting them herself. Mia wouldn't put it past Lydia and Carl to know how to hunt, especially living in their neck of the woods. They probably went squirrel and deer hunting all the time.


Whatever. They got gas. They left. That was all she wanted to think about and that's what she forced herself to believe. "It's pretty crowded out there." The diner would be crowded, too, no doubt. The two-pump gas station had a line of cars; the motel didn't have enough parking, either apparently. The convenience store looked crowded, with people standing outside of it and going in as people came out. So this place was pretty popular, huh? Mia started thinking about Lydia again; she would know this is a popular place and where would two kids on the run go? To the popular place; but Carl was right. They gave fake names, the guy who was here last night was gone, and they hadn't exactly been running around this area announcing themselves. So Lydia wouldn't - shouldn't - know they were here.


Exhaling deep and long, she turned around and looked at Carl. He smelled like she did yesterday - fresh plain soap, plain shampoo, plain conditioner, and his skin was red in some places. Must be from that towel. "Your lip looks better." More like his face looked better in general. Yes, the swelling of his lip and the corner of his mouth had gone down, and now it wasn't a black and red mess; it was beginning to look pink again and simply like plastic surgery gone wrong. The bruise she noticed at the corner of his mouth last night had turned from blue to yellow, and was almost blending in with his natural skin again. His nose wasn't swollen from probably accidentally smacking his nose while trying to bash his face in other places. There weren't bags under his eyes, smudges on his face, and his hair didn't look like he'd rolled in a pile of balloons. Mia could practically feel the weight of dark bags forming under her eyes, last night not being the best. She barely slept, she threw up in the middle of the night, and she was just down right miserable on that mattress.
 
"Alright... Then let's go get breakfast, shall we?" He smiled at her and looked over her. She looked ill. She looked tired and weary and deprived, as if she hadn't slept for the whole night. He looked at her for a moment and then sat down on the bed and went through his bag, producing a pair of sunglasses. Ray Bans. His parents got them for him for his fourteenth birthday. He loved them, but he didn't wear them very often. The sun was blaring right now, but he wouldn't slip those on just yet. He hooked them onto his shirt and then smiled at her.


"Mia. You look like shit." He grinned, just so she knew that he was joking. "Seriously, though... You look like you haven't eaten for a week, and you look like you didn't get any sleep." He sighed. "Hopefully we'll find a better motel in the next town, eh? It'll have to be better than this, for sure... We might be able to find somewhere a little more fancy... My treat, as per usual." He smiled a little and stood up, quickly walking back over to her and rubbing her shoulder.


"Come on. I'm buying you a proper breakfast... And don't panic, alright? Even if she's around... We'll blend in if we're surrounded by people, won't we?" He winked. ".. I'm going to assume that you didn't have a good night's sleep... Did you?" He asked, sighing. Her ghastly look and the bags under her eyes just gave it all away.
 
Well, that was a wake up call if she ever needed one. She hadn't looked at a mirror since she got up this morning, and knowing she looked like a corpse in the making, she still went outside. No one went running screaming. No one pointed at her. No one asked her any question, especially not if she was a run away twin. So she looked rough but not rough rough to bring suspicion.


At least not at rough as Carl looked last night. One more person saw him with that busted mug and they would have called the police. Just about to accept her not so perfect face, she heard Carl's comment and stiffened at it. His grin said he was joking but his eyes - the eyes don't lie. Mia must have looked really bad. At least to Carl.


Taking his low blow in good humor, she turned to face him and smiled as nicely as she could. "Aww gee, Carl." Mia took her brother's shades out of the collar of his shirt, looking at the lens and finally putting them on her face. "You really know how to make a girl feel special. Honestly, I think my self esteem just increased. Really, just..just how do you manage to be so benevolent with that lip?"


Oh, low blow to Carl. Mia smiled big and shrugged her shoulders, holding her hands up in a just-sayin' fashion. Through the years Mia had learned to take a hit and deal her own blow back, especially with Carl and a school that was primarily boys. A girl has to learn not to take a guy seriously when he says he liked blonde on your better, and go running to dye her hair. Yeah, she knew a girl like that and by now she was going bald from dying her hair so much.


"I'm not even hungry, Carl. I just want to know your brilliant plan to get a ride out of here. It's not like there's a bus station or a taxi stand around. The people around here brought their own rides." She had to remember he hadn't been outside yet and probably didn't know that this place was some pick-up hitchhikers kind of place, nor was their transportation just idling around waiting for them.
 

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