Other Tell me what's on your mind, stranger!

EliCatLady

EliCatLady

Chill Queen
Roleplay Availability
Roleplay Type(s)
Hi friends, use this as a place to let go of some of those troubling or not-so-troubling thoughts! I'd love to hear you out and discuss.
 
whydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingtokillthemselveswhydopeoplejokinglysaytheyregoingto
 
EliCatLady said:
Hi friends, use this as a place to let go of some of those troubling or not-so-troubling thoughts! I'd love to hear you out and discuss.
Click to expand...
Have to say what the eff is with people asking ignorant questions
 
am having a rough moment. ahhhhhdjdjdj. just got in rightful trouble and its not feelin great.

IMG_1614.jpeg
 
Currently waiting for a headache to calm down and stop bothering me. Happy to have sparked up my creative writing juices again after so long of nothing.
 
I need some goddamn sleep. Yet I have so much to do, so little time. I never get a break.

It's tough. The temptation of getting both an easier and better paying job is very strong. There are so many big companies around that will easily embrace me after less than a month of me applying for them. But I'm sticking to my double job in this gym both as their janitor and night time front desk receptionist so I can gain as much skills and experience running a damn gym.

The goal is for me to fully submerge myself into the fitness industry and make my fortune here. But it's grueling. I still have to get the personal training certification (with a discount thanks to my company) and then wait it out until one of the trainers here quit or get fired. And then there's still the whole year of me working as a trainer before gunning for that fitness manager position.

Every damn six months, there's brand new stuff to learn from the bottom up. The goal is to learn anything and everything I can about running a gym and I won't fully accomplish that until I've worked here (Crunch Fitness) for at least four years. I haven't even reached my first year anniversary yet.

And that's literally a mere one of several steps to reach my ambitions of being a celebrity trainer. It's mind numbing.

I work six days a week, eight hours a day. And the fact that I also train hard after work for competitive powerlifting and Olympic-style weightlifting just makes my life hell.

I can't fucking breathe.

On that one day off, the combination of exhaustion from six days of work and working out, the sleep deprivation, and then taking my sleep meds on that night puts me into an eighteen hour slumber. When I wake up it's already close to evening... Then I gotta head to the gym and freaking... Train hard.

This has been going on for ten whole months man. I'm not as successful as Elon Musk yet. Damn.
 
Fighting anxiety isn’t easy I don’t want to go down a dark road anymore.
 
KAOS said:
Fighting anxiety too you're not alone

A hug from all the way across the internet from me to you
Click to expand...
❤️❤️ Thank you! Nice to know I’m not alone with mental health struggles. Therapy used to be helpful until it wasn’t, sure I’m covered by my health insurance, but CBT therapy or using meditation techniques from various YouTubers stopped working all together.

I despise the stigma behind antidepressants that’s not the ‘magic pill’ getting on Zoloft helped me then therapy could. Yeah I should not be relying on my Zoloft, but I’m better shape than last year or the year before.

I hope you can get help too. -hugs-
 
I'm keenly aware no one cares. Truly. Honestly. Genuinely.
I woke up from another night terror and it's because I'm trying to be creative.
The last time I was creative... my mother died. It absolutely destroyed me in every way possible.
Again, I totally get it, no one one on the internet knows or really cares what really went on.
Though, really trying to be creative now I'm plagued with nightmares.
I got really sick. No one really could understand my grief and I ruined my own life over it.
That dream was so real and like so all encompassing to the monster I am and I've become so lonely.
I'm so incredibly lonely. I don't know how to reach out to people anymore. Sometimes I'm certain this is gods punishment.
I've always felt like this thing in this world this atmosphere this sinking gunk has just destroyed everything in my life.
I don't know. I'm not feeling any sorts of good right now. I'm not feeling right at all.

At least part of me knows there are people in this world who may feel happy or justified in my sadness.
They would laugh at it and enjoy seeing me suffer. I know for a fact they would be like - see- see- this person deserves this.
But would they say that if they watched me sit at her bedside for two weeks completely alone.
Would they say that watching me cry and mourn and lose my sense of faith over that?
In my experience, people took their own personal problems and used me as a whipping board.
Because no one really cares. Yet, I sort of wonder, what would they think if those nightmares came to life?
Would people feel different? Would they see me differently? Would anyone notice? I know not. Most likely not.
 
Last edited:
KAOS said:
I'm keenly aware no one cares. Truly. Honestly. Genuinely.
I woke up from another night terror and it's because I'm trying to be creative.
The last time I was creative... my mother died. It absolutely destroyed me in every way possible.
Again, I totally get it, no one one on the internet knows or really cares what really went on.
Though, really trying to be creative now I'm plagued with nightmares.
I got really sick. No one really could understand my grief and I ruined my own life over it.
That dream was so real and like so all encompassing to the monster I am and I've become so lonely.
I'm so incredibly lonely. I don't know how to reach out to people anymore. Sometimes I'm certain this is gods punishment.
I've always felt like this thing in this world this atmosphere this sinking gunk has just destroyed everything in my life.
I don't know. I'm not feeling any sorts of good right now. I'm not feeling right at all.

At least part of me knows there are people in this world who may feel happy or justified in my sadness.
They would laugh at it and enjoy seeing me suffer. I know for a fact they would be like - see- see- this person deserves this.
But would they say that if they watched me sit at her bedside for two weeks completely alone.
Would they say that watching me cry and mourn and lose my sense of faith over that?
In my experience, people took their own personal problems and used me as a whipping board.
Because no one really cares. Yet, I sort of wonder, what would they think if those nightmares came to life?
Would people feel different? Would they see me differently? Would anyone notice? I know not. Most likely not.
Click to expand...
I do care I’m sorry for what you’re gong through. -hugs
 
Kaiju Cat said:
I do care I’m sorry for what you’re gong through. -hugs
Click to expand...
Oh Kaiju hugs you
I care about your anxiety too. I know it's a dum dum post I made but I hope your anxiety is going better today.
 
Mental Illness.

Half jokes aside, I've been thinking about how I'm lonely irl and i'd like to make some friends. I moved to the states from canada years ago and it was after school so i didnt have a way to really meet anyone. I've tried reddit but that's a wash. I guess I'm just thinking about how I'd like to meet someone who i can vibe with in life, I'd like to meet someone soon.
 
Foxxymoron said:
Mental Illness.

Half jokes aside, I've been thinking about how I'm lonely irl and i'd like to make some friends. I moved to the states from canada years ago and it was after school so i didnt have a way to really meet anyone. I've tried reddit but that's a wash. I guess I'm just thinking about how I'd like to meet someone who i can vibe with in life, I'd like to meet someone soon.
Click to expand...
oh my gosh I really feel this hey please feel free to reach out or join any of my rps or just inbox me

we all give off dark jokes when we feel the most lonely

your not alone
 
KAOS said:
oh my gosh I really feel this hey please feel free to reach out or join any of my rps or just inbox me

we all give off dark jokes when we feel the most lonely

your not alone
Click to expand...
It seems that you don't have a way to send you a PM. feel free to send me one tho~ I definitely mask my pain with humor lmao, but also i just like making people laugh in general. But yes I have uhhh fucked up humor/memes
 
Foxxymoron said:
It seems that you don't have a way to send you a PM. feel free to send me one tho~ I definitely mask my pain with humor lmao, but also i just like making people laugh in general. But yes I have uhhh fucked up humor/memes
Click to expand...
oops fixed it I had a setting where only follower's
 
Three exams to study for at once? Please, sir. Can I have another?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)

Similar threads

Coca-Cola
Humor Will you date me?
Replies
2
Views
132
Bill123456789
Bill123456789
KAOS
Other deep topic trigger warning it does involve the fact someone has died but I'd love advice
Replies
3
Views
149
Bill123456789
Bill123456789
Flatwoods
Journal The definition of insanity
Replies
0
Views
50
Flatwoods
Flatwoods
KAOS
Opinion i don't know how to title this - i suppose eating healthy
Replies
2
Views
90
mother of sorrows
mother of sorrows
Bill123456789
Other Sorry
Replies
0
Views
90
Bill123456789
Bill123456789
Back
Top