Fable
₮ⱧɆ ₥Ɏ₮Ⱨ, ₮ⱧɆ ⱠɆ₲Ɇ₦Đ, ₮ⱧɆ ₣₳฿ⱠɆ
Esme crossed her arms over her chest as the mood went from them trying to calmly discuss matters to Kyle being frustrated with her. Again. His little tone experiment only served to frustrate her more with him. She didn't need him to tell her things she already knew about herself, that her attitude was utter shit and she was more likely to snap at someone than to just keep her mouth shut. Her jaw tightened as she held her tongue and let him finish speaking.
"Here is an important lesson for you then," she countered. "You think I'm not in control? Really? That somehow I'm really not aware when I previously had felt it was clear I was well aware of my habits of of being defensive against others. If I had no control I probably would be drowning myself in alcohol somewhere with my liver slowly dying."
She sighed and looked away and let her arms drop, "Forget it. I am so tired of going around this loop. I'm not going to make some deal to make you change who you are so I would expect the same from you in regards to myself. If you want to think that I talk back because I want you to be as thrown off as I am, then fine. Do I say things I regret? Sometimes, but not for the reason you would think.
I had mentioned a sensitive subject with you because I don't normally tip-toe around people because most people I don't give a shit about. Even with the very, very few people who I am close to I don't like to sugarcoat things because that, to me, is being two-faced. To smile and say everything is perfectly fine while everything is burning down around them? No. I'm the type of person who tells them that something is burning as much as they would want to deny it."
"I know I have a resting bitch face, a horrible attitude, and use anger as a defense. Hell, even I can be hypocritical because I will act like I'm fine when I'm not because I don't like others knowing they've gotten under my skin. Not having a filter doesn't make me impulsive but just inconsiderate when it comes to the feelings of others and I recognize that about myself." Just then she got an idea, a most likely awful idea, and one she probably would never utter because that would have been impulsive. She wanted to teach Kyle a lesson on what not filtering your words was like by making a deal via their Pact. She pushed the idea out of her mind because as much as the idea was tempting she wouldn't force Kyle to change himself, as much as he frustrated the ever living shit out of her at times; like now.
"While I'm ranting and getting all this out of my system, you want to know the other reason why I don't like digging through or even knowing your personal memories? Besides feeling like I've invaded your privacy? I feel like it's a lazy way to get to know someone, to have their thoughts and memories influencing you in how you regard them because everyone has their own idea of truth and what I saw I don't believe in the 'truth' you've told yourself. I don't need to know the K'ylenthar from that past to learn who Kyle is. I don't want to share my past memories with you in that manner because I don't what it to skew your perspective regarding who I am with my own tainted idea of my truth."
"I didn't want your memories to teach me, I wanted you to teach me. As much as you really, really make me want to hit you over the head with a pillow."