Shining Wizard
Professional Asswiper

Regardless, I had already made all the changes you wanted me to make so, you know, feel free to take a look.
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The emperor is a npc Black Knight created. You can find him in the npc tab.The Black Knight The robot guy doesn't have a CS for his mad scientist, though? Neither does Joanna's brother or this "Emperor Darkstalker" guy on Dai's sheet. At this point it kinda feels like you're making me arbitrarily jump through hoops just because you dislike my concept, which is fine but it'd be nice if you just told me everything you disliked from the outset so we could do this in one go.
Regardless, I had already made all the changes you wanted me to make so, you know, feel free to take a look.
?? My character isn't mentored. I just thought it'd be nice to be part of the story that way. O.oRI.a So the issue is that my character isn't mentored by a GMPC/NPC? Dang, that would have been nice to know from the outset.
Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.
RI.a So the issue is that my character isn't mentored by a GMPC/NPC? Dang, that would have been nice to know from the outset.
Oh well, hindsight is 20/20.
View attachment 524858Character Name: Areum Hadokabe
Alias: Au'lait
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Height: 5'7"
Weight:
Hair Color: Green
Eye Color: Green
Complexion: Pale
Build: Despite appearances, Areum is actually a very well trained woman. She sports a solid network of muscles across her body, though she usually dresses in such a way as to hide them.
Occupation: Freeloader
Written Appearance: Many scars of varying degrees can be found over all her body, to the point where it's pointless to list them one by one. They're a natural result of her 'no dodge, all blocking' fighting style, most of them owing to her overestimating the strength of her defensive capabilities. The same as her muscles, Areum goes out of her way to cover them up.
Personality:
As if a raging inferno was given a human form, the woman who calls herself "Au'lait" does little to earn her cutesy-sounding alias. Areum is, for lack of gentler terms, a woman who tries very hard to be something that she very much isn't. While she dresses the part of a cute, soft, lovely-looking girly girl, she is instead someone who harbors a temper so great that the Greek Gods would be afraid. She's someone who feels as if the world has cheated her out of much of what she deserves, and any reminder of that will set her off within seconds; Her voice raises to a deafening roar, her expression twists into a deathly scowl, and "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" finds its truest expression.
Current Story:
Areum comes from money, and a lot of it. The firstborn daughter of the of the modern Masters of the Hadokabe School of Martial Arts, she enjoyed a first class ticket to a privileged life, showered with both the boons of wealth and easy access to the best education she could ask for. Her father taught her the essentials of his martial art at an early age, setting her well ahead of her contemporaries, and on a path that would surely lead to her succession of his role as the head of the school.
He was, however, a busy man. Before long, he had to stop playing favorites and Areum became a student like any other. She still enjoyed the boons of her status in her free time, but while training she was just another face in the crowd. Her father didn't look upon her as his child, but instead as just another rowdy kid who needed to be straightened up. It frustrated her; Shouldn't he have been investing more of his time in his own flesh and blood? His legacy to be? So she grew defiant, only to fall behind because of it. Which would only frustrate her further, and the cycle went on. Those around her improved at a steady rate, while she only grew more and more consumed by her various frustrations.
Eventually, the day would come when she would have to prove herself. A week long tournament between all the up and comers of the Hadokabe School, the first of many that would determine who would one day take up the title of 'Master'; And she didn't even make it to the semi finals. This in mind, a particular tradition of the Hadokabe School was called to action. You see, the family who takes the name of Hadokabe is not one lineage. Instead, the Masters of the School take the name as their own, when the are bestowed their title. Areum, for a very long time, had been keeping it only out of her father's hope and good will, but after the steady breakdown of her behavior, and in the light of her failure, he'd no choice but to strip it from her. She was to discard the name she'd worn her whole life, and start anew under her father's original one.
It was supposed to be an act that would humble her, a last ditch effort to steer her back onto the right path so that she could, hopefully, one day reclaim the name Hadokabe. But instead it served as the last straw. The moment she was told, she flew into a rage, seeking out and beating down on the opponent that had robbed her of everything. So instead of just being stripped of her name, she was thrown from the school altogether.
Her father was dead to her. The school was dead to her. The lot of them were scheming against her, she convinced herself, and she would give them their just deserts. So, she abandoned not just the school, but her home too, and took to the streets. She'd become a Master all on her own. She'd take their tepid martial arts to a level they'd never seen before, and then drown them all in her shadow.
Weapon(s): N/A
Aura Color Purple
Fighting Style: Befitting of her explosive personality, the roots of Areum's fighting abilities lie with a martial art based around slow, firm movements. A former student of the 'Hadokabe' School, the basis of their teachings can still be seen in her techniques today. In a phrase, the way she fights could be described as 'less is more'. While focusing on comboing and chaining together attacks, Areum focuses of hefty, concussive blows rather than quick ones that build up over time. Each of her attacks is mighty in its own right, and she strikes the enemy in such a way that leaves them reeling long enough to deliver another blow of equal strength. To further this, her movements are as stubborn as they are powerful, discarding dodging altogether in favor of just swinging through the opponent's attacks.
Techniques:
- Forged In Flame, My Mightiest Blade - A deceptive technique, Areum turns her Aura into a ghostly purple flame, and then wreathes part of her body in it. Rather than increasing the power of her blows as one might expect, however, it instead acts something like a forge. With each blow that Areum delivers within the rhythm of a combo,
- The Felling of the Mightiest Tree - Playing off of her other skills, Areum transforms the durability of a part of her body into sheer weight, and then brings it down upon her opponent.
- Distribution of Strength - By taking a deep breath, and steadying her form, Areum distributes her built up durability evenly across her body. This takes about five seconds to execute, and striking her with enough force to stagger her during this time will cause her to lose her stored durability instead.
- Concentration of Might - The opposite of 'Distribution of Strength', this causes all of Areum's stored durability to surge into one point of her body. This can be executed much more quickly, but it can only be used if her durability is evenly, or almost evenly distributed.
She's Andromedan, yeah. I actually just forgot, haha. Edited it in.Where does she come from? Is she Andromedan or from somewhere else?
You're allowed to have up to 5 techniques and you only have 4. Also, while I am sure you left the weight blank intentionally, please mention it any way.
She's Andromedan, yeah. I actually just forgot, haha. Edited it in.
I'm aware of Noblesse, but I was under the assumption that you only get to join the group once you're already one of the big and strong and rad karate dudes, which she isn't. Rather than being kicked from Noblesse, I say she lost out on an easy 'career path' into their ranks. Is it something that you can get into on heritage alone?So then she's more than likely Noblesse. Did you read the OP for this game about Noblesse? If she is kicked out or leaves Noblesse, then she cannot go back. I am telling you this more as a fyi. I recommend reading the OP for it should give more to your character's story to show that you read the lore and didn't just write a CS on skimming. You can also click the OOC link, which on that page, gives you the link to the IC. The IC has updated lore either created by me or the players. I want to make sure you know more about this game's lore so you can incorporate it into your CS.
I'm aware of Noblesse, but I was under the assumption that you only get to join the group once you're already one of the big and strong and rad karate dudes, which she isn't. Rather than being kicked from Noblesse, I say she lost out on an easy 'career path' into their ranks. Is it something that you can get into on heritage alone?
Alright, I'll edit in that she got the boot from them too. More things for her to get mad at.If her parents are rich and have earned their way into Noblesse, then their offspring are automatically Noblesse until they lose that nobility by demonstrating weakness. Majority of the citizens who are upper-class are mostly Noblesse because they can afford the best schools for their children.
Alright, I'll edit in that she got the boot from them too. More things for her to get mad at.
She only has four because I could only think of four, and I don't really want to hack in something that won't fit in with the others, so it's fine by me. Edited in mentions of Noblesse in paragraphs 1, 4 and 5.When you make the changes and also include the other things I told you, unless you want her to just have 4 abilities, then let me know.
She only has four because I could only think of four, and I don't really want to hack in something that won't fit in with the others, so it's fine by me. Edited in mentions of Noblesse in paragraphs 1, 4 and 5.
View attachment 526932Character Name:
Francesca Drake
Alias:
Il Serpente Pazza
Age:
25
Gender:
Female
Height:
165 cm
Weight:
60 kg
Hair Color:
Champagne Blonde
Eye Color:
Reddish-brown
Complexion:
Fair
Build:
Nondescript
Occupation:
‘Freelancer’
Written Appearance:
A well-endowed body in nothing but a bra, a loose jacket, short shorts, stockings and combat boots. Francesca’s primary color scheme seems to be black and red. She sports a tattoo of a heart under her left eye.
Personality:
Francesca Drake paints herself as downright stereotypically insane. Mad cackles, bad timings for posing and dancing, occasionally dressing up goofily, and having random, near savant-levels of obsession and knowledge of certain topics. To the world at large, Drake is a wild card, with a capital W-I-L-D.
In truth, perhaps to surprise of many, Drake is a fairly thoughtful and intelligent young lady who is capable of incredible foresight and strategy. There are notable pauses of clarity in the midst of the chaos that is Drake, where she exhibits careful planning of someone experienced in the art of strategy and the eyes of a genius. She likens the field as a tapestry, each thread intertwined with many others to create a picture of absolute chaos, chaos that can be manipulated if she tugged at a string here, a thread there, cut some holes here, and burned a patch here- in short, she knows exactly how a flow of battle should go to claim the result she wants.
Behind closed doors, or to people she can't be damned to put on an act around, she behaves much more stoically, and has a much more strict and professional air around her.
That would be fine and all if Drake ever actually intended on showing her prowess. Her desire for chaos isn’t part of the psychotic mask she wears- she truly revels in chaos and the unpredictability of war, battle, life, and all that hecking business. She doesn't want to know what others think and what others will do. She just wants to live in the moment, and see the fireworks of life explode around her. How interesting would a light show be, after all, if one had seen it before? There is only one right answer for Drake for that question. As such, she would rather be the one carried down the flow rather than the one controlling the flow. After all, this was where the fun was.
There is a certain bloodlust to her that seems to be her primary driving force. She doesn't admit it, but she seems to seek opponents as strong as or stronger than her to expose herself to their fighting style and subsequently develop her own hodgepodge mishmash of one to adapt to theirs. At the same time, she seeks to open the eyes of the proud and the uninitiated that not all fighters will play fair or use conventional and orthodox combat. She likens herself to a wake up call to those yet to have experienced the wilderness, and her opponents to be a wake up call to her about other fighting styles out there.
Current Story:
An assassin in all but name of one of the Noblesse.
A street urchin picked up off the streets of Andromeda, Francesca had neither name nor family, surviving off only the goodwill of others. She learned quickly that preying on this goodwill would only get her so far, and adapted quickly to her situation, becoming a no-good pickpocket who instead preyed off others’ inattentiveness.
How it came to be that she would end up in the pockets of a Noblesse is perhaps one of the luckiest things to happen to the street thug. Whether it was by luck or by skill, she managed to pick the pockets of one of the men in said Noblesse’s retinue. That a child could escape under their notice as well as manage to flee from them was unprecedented by the Noblesse. They didn't notice her at all, she was just that nondescript and unimpressive that she could just appear behind them without a trace of her presence. The Noblesse, having seen just how useful such a lowly being like her could be, brought her in under his tutelage, teaching her his methods against the martial artists of Andromeda. Famiglia di Serpente, he called it, but he would rather it be unnamed. His ‘martial arts’ was no true martial art. Instead, it focused solely on its practitioner's own physical skill in manipulating themselves while watching the opponent. It had some roots in some martial arts, and incorporated a great many of them into its moves, but in the end, it was just a melting pot of myriads of fighting styles, all meant to disrupt and dispatch of martial artists. As his own pet snake, Francesca was often sent out to ‘remove’ certain individuals from the Noblesse’s notice. She was fine with that, all said and done, and enjoyed it. Every new encounter, every new hunt, was a new experience to her. They taught her many things, of many martial arts, of many fighting styles. More importantly, they taught her how to adapt and survive against them.
Nowadays, Francesca lives her own life as an independent woman. With enough allowance from her Noblesse sugar daddy, she lives rather comfortably in her own apartment. However, the snake is yet to have eaten its fill. She wanted to see more, experience more, fight more, lose more, win more. She wanted to fight every single martial artist in Andromeda and feel their convictions, their heart, she wanted to see them improve, and she wanted herself to improve. A world of the strong- that was what she sought. What better way to test these people who claim themselves strong other than becoming the test herself? A test that could only get more and more difficult. The ultimate pinnacle of martial arts, Akashiro Koizumi, was her target, and this time, the assignment wasn't from her Noblesse liege.
Weapon(s):
A simple and sturdy machete. It is her weapon of choice, though she is more than capable of handling herself without a weapon.
Fighting Style:
A myriad of styles cobbled together designed specifically to completely render most close-ranged martial artists almost completely incapable of touching her without having to rely on cheap techniques. Her style, hitherto unnamed, focuses heavily on disrupting the flow and rhythm of an opponent, mostly by sticking to them and refusing them any space to navigate. She focuses mainly on stopping an opponent’s movements before they even begin through resisting them at the point of beginning, such as stepping on their foot to prevent them from starting up a kick, or striking their bicep before they can throw a punch.
She favours a dance-like stance, constantly moving on her feet with grandiose showboating. Whether it be a staple of her unnamed style or just part of her gambit to confuse and infuriate opponents, it isn't made very clear. What is, however, is that she also does tend to execute actual breakdancing techniques on offence and defence, on account that theatricality and deception are powerful agents against the uninitiated. One should take care not to get kicked in the face by her chair flares- they hurt. Where she cannot overwhelm her opponent by jamming their movements, she tends to favour more evasive behaviour. Due to her lacklustre overall body strength when compared to true martial artists, she uses acrobatic flips and moves to augment her attacks with more strength through the momentum, such as backflipping into a stomp on the gut, utilising gravity to intensify her impact. A thing to note, however, is that Drake does not remain stationary, even in terms of styles. She may choose to forgo her usual dancing movements for a more stable stance and vice versa.
She tends to incorporate more underhanded means into her style as well, such as the aforementioned excessive showboating, or pressing up her body against her opponent's when she’s up close to try and get a reaction out of them, and generally doing all in her power to make the fight as annoying and drawn out than it already is. She never really honors much of a martial artist’s conventions on where to strike, and always goes for an attack below the belt where possible.
Techniques:
Many of Drake’s techniques revolve around the behaviour of her opponent, and may change on the fly depending on just how they react to it.
Ricevere: Drake delivers a sweeping kick aimed at the head. It is delivered in such a way that the opponent usually has enough time to react. If they don't, they get a jarring kick to the head, sending them sprawling onto the ground. If they do duck under the attack, Drake utilises the momentum to kick off the ground and sweep her machete under her legs, slashing her opponent in one acrobatic flip. An unarmed variant exists where she instead drops and immediately shoots out a leg and sweeps upwards into the opponent’s groin.
Consegnare: Drake opens with throwing her machete into the air behind her, and follows up with any string of attacks meant to stun the opponent, with strikes aimed towards the solar plexus or the face. At the point where the machete is at a point where she thinks is close enough, she backs up and kicks the machete at its pommel, sending it straight into the opponent, who is preferably stunned enough to have the machete lodge itself into somewhere soft and vulnerable. She has a close range variant where if the opponent is much closer, she kicks the machete right into the opponent rather than kick it a distance. She extracts the machete right after, allowing her to follow up with another assault.
Arrotolare di Il Serpente: Drake sprints towards an opponent and throws herself at them while spinning, wrapping herself around them in the process. With the gathered momentum, she sends the opponent stumbling while she swings around them. She ends the performance by clamping the opponent’s head between her thighs and twists herself and bringing them to the ground. She will oftentimes perform a variation where she will finish with herself upside down, while still clinging on to the opponent’s arm and neck, then deliver a knee straight down to their face.
Stretta di Il Serpente: Not technically a technique but well worth mentioning due to how effective it is. Drake evades an attack and approaches from behind and attains a chokehold on her opponent. Her grip is strong enough, and her small body makes her very hard to peel off once she gets a proper hold on her target, especially in an open space and with the oxygen and blood flow being cut off from the head. A normal human being loses consciousness within 10 seconds of having their blood flow cut off from their brain- martial artists may have the benefit of having more time, but one should still immediately try to find a way to get her off their back.