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Ah xDI really don't
I can make some up, but if you don't want to wait for that I can trust you to slap some names in there.
No rush. Also, if I didn't make it clear, Els is the catalyst to getting Bearach to leave. And disturbances in the woods should also help provide further incentive.Alright, I'm starting to write a bit for my first post. I'll try to finish by the end of the day, but we'll see. It will probably be mostly Els in private getting ready for the day and thinking back over the dream/vision from the night before, plus introducing her condition, personality, Pokemon and profession indirectly. Hopefully it will be up to snuff if it's going to be the first post >-<
A couple other things I've added in my last bit of planning: Els' Pokemon's names. Her Trevenant is named Weydroote, while her Mareanie is Venez, the former being derived from "guide" and "root", and the later from "venom".
Honestly I could probably put it up now and I might, since I just realized I can use "Mr. Fletcher" for Bearach's father. So that should be added pretty soon!No rush. Also, if I didn't make it clear, Els is the catalyst to getting Bearach to leave. And disturbances in the woods should also help provide further incentive.
Going to read it now. But don't worry about experience. That comes with time. I'm also low on experience as a GM. We can help each other out!My first post is up! Let me know what you think, if I messed anything up, etc. since I still don't have much experience >-<
For claiming inexperience, you do well. Both in writing and in rp. I don't think you have anything to worry about.My first post is up! Let me know what you think, if I messed anything up, etc. since I still don't have much experience >-<
I don't just claim it, but this is something I enjoy so I try to put in the effort even if I'm new >.<For claiming inexperience, you do well. Both in writing and in rp. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Okie, here we go!
If you want more direct criticism, I can try to come up with something. Hmm... well, I feel like you're skills as a writer are already good. A good mix of descriptions. Not too specific as to take away all room for imagination, but also not too vague as to leave no direction for the mind to wander.I don't just claim it, but this is something I enjoy so I try to put in the effort even if I'm new >.<
And I apologize if it's annoying, I recognize that because of my insecurity I tend to undervalue what I can do and be overcautious in self-analysis. That's kind of why I ask for feedback, since it's usually more realistic than what I tell myself. That being said, thank you for the kind words, and I'll try to keep up this current level >-<
I have a suggestion for the footnotes. Perhaps you can put extra information that isn't directly relevant in spoilers? This way the info is there and easy to access, but also there would be no worry of bloating up the rp messages, and would make it easier to scan for information in the future as well.Okay, so I've got my post up!
I make a few references to such and such in it — I would've added footnotes but I didn't want to disrupt the writing with numbers; I'll add them next time if y'all don't mind.
Anyhow, Mamfæth is Corbrân's hypno. As mentioned before, after his parents died, Mamfæth, who had formerly worked as Corbrân's nurse, took the child in and became something more of Corbrân's foster mother, which is what he calls her (mam, mother / fæth, foster) — the hypno's real name is Llithai (after some type of herb).
"Lord Cynfrain" is Corbrân's job title, but only within Cysgœd. He's not technically a lord (well, he technically is a lord, not that anyone refers to him as such), and cynfrain is simply their word for 'ravenmaster'. They're basically calling him Ravenmaster Corbrân, just as you'd call a ranger "Ranger [name]" or whatever — Lord Cynfrain is a more ceremonial, traditional title; outsiders (so our little group) would just refer to him as Ravenmaster, if they need to.
Cyrchnos' name comes from cyrch (raid, assault; [arch. bout of illness]) and nos (night) — basically, 'night raid', though Corbrân often shortens it to Cyrch.
I think that's all; do ask if any of y'all are curious or have questions!
I haven't read it yet, going to get to that. But the Rhyhon incident isn't super central to the story. As in, you don't really need to deal with it, but it is connected.Oh, actually — StatusUndead , Corbrân's heading to the flock to check up on them and ask around 'bout the rhyhorn situation, if that's relevant.
Just finished reading. Quite enjoyable. I don't really have anything to add. Like I said before, you're free to interact with the Rhyhorn/Black-garbed traveller or not. It won't impact the story either way. Though, it could also give Corbran early insight into just how serious the problem is when Els and Bearach come to find you.Oh, actually — StatusUndead , Corbrân's heading to the flock to check up on them and ask around 'bout the rhyhorn situation, if that's relevant.
Yeah, I also admit that I take criticism really poorly, but that's a good reason to get it from people who I know aren't trying to make me feel bad. Something I know I need to work on.If you want more direct criticism, I can try to come up with something. Hmm... well, I feel like you're skills as a writer are already good. A good mix of descriptions. Not too specific as to take away all room for imagination, but also not too vague as to leave no direction for the mind to wander.
As for the rp side of things, I like that you added in that they've had visions before, even though I didn't mention that. Don't be afraid of adding in more things to the story that I didn't specify. For the most part, even though I may make mistakes and forget, I leave out things on purpose. For example, I didn't describe the times of day, weather, season, people in the villages, the styles of the houses, or much else of the surroundings and going-ons.
I COULD be more descriptive, but I feel that would just bloat up my posts, since I already have to describe a lot. Also, I'm lazy.
That's really all I can think of. But I'll keep in mind any recommendations or such that I may have for you as the story goes on. The biggest thing I see people struggle with in rp writing is generally descriptive writing and adding to the story, which you don't have much issue with, but mostly dealing with combat or other forms of struggle between characters, which we haven't really gotten to yet, and similarly conversations between characters, specifically in group rps. As in, having two characters have a conversation that doesn't take up dozens of posts going back and forth while everyone waits. But I also talked about that bit when we were doing the Incarnates rp. Namely, DMing conversations and having one or both characters just copy/paste in the whole back and forth. At least, that'smy preferred method. Otherwise you have to find ways to limit yourself to concise conversations, but that also limits chatty characters. Of course, conversations with the whole group are different, if that wasn't obvious. But I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'll cut it off here.
P.S. For everyone, also don't be afraid to criticize me, or give me suggesstions as the GM. I'm always happy to find new/better ways to go about things to make them as enjoyable as possible for everyone.
Yeah, good idea. I'll do that from now on.I have a suggestion for the footnotes. Perhaps you can put extra information that isn't directly relevant in spoilers? This way the info is there and easy to access, but also there would be no worry of bloating up the rp messages, and would make it easier to scan for information in the future as well.
That's about what I thought. Corbrân's not looking to fight the rhyhorn in any way; the Hallows are a creepy place where weird things tend to happen, and he's learned that anything off is usually the resident 'mons business, not for him to deal with.I haven't read it yet, going to get to that. But the Rhyhon incident isn't super central to the story. As in, you don't really need to deal with it, but it is connected.
Also, if it wasn't clear, mons like this Rhyhorn are special. I have another plan for another one near Wisteria that I'll start introducing later. But essentially these aren't beatable for most people, even small groups of people. Though, if the party gets together, then the Rhyhorn will be beatable. But it's also not necessary to face it. I just wanted to throw something in there relevant-ish to the story for Corbran to play with until the others arrive. Just so you're not sitting there twiddling your thumbs.
I love details like that. Including previous visions to increase their motivation.Yeah, I also admit that I take criticism really poorly, but that's a good reason to get it from people who I know aren't trying to make me feel bad. Something I know I need to work on.
Thank you for your analysis, I'm glad that you think I'm doing a good job. I'll try to think about other things going on, but really that's one of the things I struggle more with, so I'll have to try hard to think about it. I also want to leave some of the details about village style to Gnome since it was originally his idea for a location, but depending on what he says I can try to come up with some things for myself.
As for my choice to have Els have visions before (thought ones that contained no information), I thought that the contents of the vision would be more likely to spur her to action or grab her attention if this was an escalation from something that had already been happening, rather than a weird one-off event. I mean, she might still have done things if it was a one-off, but I feel that her having time to sort of get used to visions without having been able to get any information from them before would let her come up with her own motivating theories about what was going on (i.e. messages from Darkrai/about her home, which she longs to see again) that would push her all the more to investigate. So yeah, hopefully a good choice >-< Also, just so it's clear, Ombrandr is the name used by the people of Glomwidu for Darkrai, their protector deity.
I'll also keep in mind any suggestions, though it's hard to think of any without them being really in my face. But I'll make sure to let you know.
I don't have anything really for Corbran to do, besides going to "play" with the Rhyhorn and traveller, which isn't necessary. I mean, there are things happening, but that's all a secret for now. So unless you want something else for Corbran to do until the others arrive, I don't have any ideas. But there is a specific reason Els had a vision of Corbran. Though that won't be revealed for a while. So Els will just have to trust the spirits and convince Corbran to help.Yeah, good idea. I'll do that from now on.
That's about what I thought. Corbrân's not looking to fight the rhyhorn in any way; the Hallows are a creepy place where weird things tend to happen, and he's learned that anything off is usually the resident 'mons business, not for him to deal with.
I'm just having it there as a reason to get him out of that tower and to his flock; they don't like it when he checks in for no reason — they'd rather them come to him. He'll just be playing around in the Hallows 'til the others cone 'round, unless you nudge him elsewhere.
There's no need to limit yourself to four like the video games. Although have moves they specialize in, for those that have a variety to choose from, could be a cool way to customize mons. Like, maybe a Pikachu that specializes in electric attacks has a stronger thunder shock than one that specializes in quick attacks/movements.It just occurred to me that I never actually figured out what Els' Pokemon's movesets would be. Did either of you think about that already?
Hope you've been alright. I've just been tired; I think my new medication is to blame for that. I've also just been unsure of what to write, on top of wanting to let Gnome write something before thinking about another post. I'm sorry for not being more active or more talkative, I've just been feeling low-energy recently..Heya all! Just wanted to check in with everyone. See how y'all are doing! And see if perhaps Gnomar wasn't getting notifications? I'll also try messaging them. But also, how've you been, Echo and Aspho?
No worries! It's natural for things to bottleneck sometimes. And we've got busy lives. Nothing wrong with taking a few days here and there.Hope you've been alright. I've just been tired; I think my new medication is to blame for that. I've also just been unsure of what to write, on top of wanting to let Gnome write something before thinking about another post. I'm sorry for not being more active or more talkative, I've just been feeling low-energy recently..
I'm good! Just been hanging out, dealing with life — giving Gnome a bit of time before our next round of posts.Heya all! Just wanted to check in with everyone. See how y'all are doing! And see if perhaps Gnomar wasn't getting notifications? I'll also try messaging them. But also, how've you been, Echo and Aspho?
Heya all! Just wanted to check in with everyone. See how y'all are doing! And see if perhaps Gnomar wasn't getting notifications? I'll also try messaging them. But also, how've you been, Echo and Aspho?
I'm doing great! I don't mind going slow. Not like the party can meet up without you. XD But, if Echo and Aspho don't want to wait, I can have stuff for them to do individually. Just gotta think of something for Els, since I can probably involve the already established issue near Corbran.Hello, hello! Don't feel obliged to wait for me, I'm currently drowning in a swamp of assignments. Got 2 to write in the next week's than I'm going away for a week long trip to collect data for my next assignment
Absolutely dead stuff
Hope you're all well though : D