Syntra
Baba Yaga
You know how, in movies, they often did that slow motion shit to emphasize that the decision the protagonist had taken would have ConsequencesTM? That it wasn't the best idea, in other words? Well, Thea felt kinda like that, even if reality obviously didn't provide any special effects. It... didn't have to, to be honest. Like, it didn't take a fucking Einstein to figure out that a mouse attacking a wolf would have all the longevity of a leaf in a fireplace, okay? Despite what all the Disney movies told you, small animals couldn't routinely wrestle their bigger counterparts to death, thank you very much! ...still, it wasn't as if Thea had had an actual choice. The fish hadn't given her a cool werewolf form, so instead of cosplaying one of those Underworld fuckers, Thea had to make do with whatever she had. Not ideal, but hey, such was life! If I die here, the brunette told herself, it will at least be an epic death. Stuff of legends. Only amateurs died in their beds, after all-- people so clinically lacking in imagination that they wouldn't be able to recognize a good fucking plot line if it hit them in the head. Just, nope, nope, nope! Not a good enough fate for Thea Holloway, that was for certain. (That, and in a way, maybe dying wouldn't be that bad. If nothing else, it would... uhh, remove all the pesky aspects of life for her? No longer would she have to ask herself all those unpleasant questions, such as 'why am I such a goddamn failure,' 'how come nobody really likes me' or 'what the fuck am I going to do tomorrow.' Wouldn't it be oh so easy, to let it end here like that? A powerful epilogue to her story, uncomplicated in its simplicity. Zero chances for a sequel, too, which made it chef's kiss for real. Some better version of her would get to live forever in Clara's memories, which would definitely--)
'Oooh, grim,' the demon giggled. 'I kinda thought you were more resilient than that, crow. Or should I say mouse? Anyway, I do have to commend my men for picking such suitable sacrifices. Don't you want to make it easier for everyone involved and just... you know, kill yourself? My followers are spending a lot of resources to locate you, so that would really help.' Awesome, really. Trust a demon not to fuck shit up! Couldn't he, like, go one (1) second without providing this useless-ass commentary? No? No, apparently! ...sheesh, Thea didn't actually want to think about the implications of her own thought processes. Was that that hard to grasp, huh?
'When the fuck have I ever wanted to make things easier for your inbred bootlickers?' she snapped. Thanks for giving me a motivation to actually survive, asshole.' ...now, if only having a motivation actually did shit! Too bad that she wasn't some anime protagonist that derived power-ups from profound realizations, power of friendship, and shit like that-- as a mouse, Thea's only real """advantage""" was the fact that the wolf obviously wasn't used to pocket-sized prey. (But boy, oh boy, was she going to milk it! The predator howled in pain before trying to reach her, but she wasn't there anymore. Oh, no, no, no! With teeth sharper than razor, she attacked a different leg, tasting fresh blood this time. ...huh, bizarre. Would a mouse's digestive system know how to deal with that? Not that it mattered, of course, as she'd be fucking dead in seconds, but far be it from her to actually try to, you know, rein her thoughts in. Stream of consciousness it was, baby!) Can a wolf die from sheer annoyance? Please? Asking for a fucking friend!
Spoiler alert: it probably couldn't, but that didn't mean it couldn't die from different causes... such as whatever it was that Clara just did. (Wow, wow, wow! Was it just her, or was it getting hot here? There was nothing more attractive than a pretty girl dispatching a villain, if you asked Thea, and... Oh no, don't even fucking go there. Friends, remember? You're just friends, so let go of this incel-ish mindset. So what if the brunette had thought they had had a moment? Several moments, even? Her inner radar was fucking shit, apparently, and now she had to re-calibrate it, or live in eternal shame. What seemed like the more attractive option, huh? Again, you didn't need to be an Einstein to discern that!
"Great job," she murmured automatically, without realizing that her vocal cords shouldn't have worked. Somehow, they did, though? Oh well, good for her. "Well, whaddya say, I can! That sure is a surprise, even for me. The fucking fish didn't exactly bother to talk about the functionality of my last wish, and... shit, she hasn't talked about it ever expiring, either. I guess I'll be your plucky animal companion from now on! ...yeah, it's me," she added after a while. "Thea. Do you think mice can eat tacos? I don't think that life is worth living without tacos." Thea, ignoring the real issues in favor of cheap distractions? No sireeee, that had never happened before.
'Oooh, grim,' the demon giggled. 'I kinda thought you were more resilient than that, crow. Or should I say mouse? Anyway, I do have to commend my men for picking such suitable sacrifices. Don't you want to make it easier for everyone involved and just... you know, kill yourself? My followers are spending a lot of resources to locate you, so that would really help.' Awesome, really. Trust a demon not to fuck shit up! Couldn't he, like, go one (1) second without providing this useless-ass commentary? No? No, apparently! ...sheesh, Thea didn't actually want to think about the implications of her own thought processes. Was that that hard to grasp, huh?
'When the fuck have I ever wanted to make things easier for your inbred bootlickers?' she snapped. Thanks for giving me a motivation to actually survive, asshole.' ...now, if only having a motivation actually did shit! Too bad that she wasn't some anime protagonist that derived power-ups from profound realizations, power of friendship, and shit like that-- as a mouse, Thea's only real """advantage""" was the fact that the wolf obviously wasn't used to pocket-sized prey. (But boy, oh boy, was she going to milk it! The predator howled in pain before trying to reach her, but she wasn't there anymore. Oh, no, no, no! With teeth sharper than razor, she attacked a different leg, tasting fresh blood this time. ...huh, bizarre. Would a mouse's digestive system know how to deal with that? Not that it mattered, of course, as she'd be fucking dead in seconds, but far be it from her to actually try to, you know, rein her thoughts in. Stream of consciousness it was, baby!) Can a wolf die from sheer annoyance? Please? Asking for a fucking friend!
Spoiler alert: it probably couldn't, but that didn't mean it couldn't die from different causes... such as whatever it was that Clara just did. (Wow, wow, wow! Was it just her, or was it getting hot here? There was nothing more attractive than a pretty girl dispatching a villain, if you asked Thea, and... Oh no, don't even fucking go there. Friends, remember? You're just friends, so let go of this incel-ish mindset. So what if the brunette had thought they had had a moment? Several moments, even? Her inner radar was fucking shit, apparently, and now she had to re-calibrate it, or live in eternal shame. What seemed like the more attractive option, huh? Again, you didn't need to be an Einstein to discern that!
"Great job," she murmured automatically, without realizing that her vocal cords shouldn't have worked. Somehow, they did, though? Oh well, good for her. "Well, whaddya say, I can! That sure is a surprise, even for me. The fucking fish didn't exactly bother to talk about the functionality of my last wish, and... shit, she hasn't talked about it ever expiring, either. I guess I'll be your plucky animal companion from now on! ...yeah, it's me," she added after a while. "Thea. Do you think mice can eat tacos? I don't think that life is worth living without tacos." Thea, ignoring the real issues in favor of cheap distractions? No sireeee, that had never happened before.