Location: The Jordan Lodge
Interaction: Open
Mentioned: Dragonlord318 (David)
No matter what she did or tried to focus on, as the minutes passed it became clearer and clearer that Leliana wasn't going to win this time. And she felt like...god she felt so stupid. It's not like he had even said anything, but it was just the way he implied it that...god she knew exactly what he meant. The nurse was trying her best to finish up the inventory. Her handwriting was quickly changing from the neat little scrawl she was blessed with, to an almost illegible chicken scratch as Leliana was unable to keep her hands from shaking. For what seemed like no reason, her breathing had become unstable, tears threatened to well in her eyes as that almost suffocating lump formed in her throat. It took a minute before she even noticed she wasn't counting anymore and finally gave up.
The notebook and pencil fell from her lap as she stood from the floor, her task quickly forgotten as Leliana first started for the stairs. But something told her that she wouldn't make it upstairs. Or at least, she wouldn't make it to a room if she took the time to go up, so despite desperately wanting to be as far away from everyone she could be, Leliana slipped into the downstairs bathroom and quickly shut the door behind her. But she forgot that the generator wasn't working. Surrounded by darkness, with nothing but a small strip of light coming from underneath the bathroom door, Leliana fumbled with the small lock. The nurse was...well, not embarrassed, but this was something she didn't want anyone else knowing about. It was a struggle, an ugly struggle that not everyone needed to see.
No sooner had she, hopefully, locked the door, a wave of nausea washed over her. Her face felt hot as her head spun. One hand frantically felt around for the counter and edge of the sink, the blonde quickly leaned over the edge. She could feel tears on her cheeks as her body tried to violently reject her breakfast. A painful combination of coughing and sobs she was trying to keep silent tore through her throat, and echoed off the walls around her, though if anyone outside heard it, she had no idea. Leliana could only hope that Andy's uncle knew how to insulate.
What seemed like forever, but was in reality only a few minutes, of coughing and dry heaving that had produced nothing but tears and a dull ache in her temple, Leliana finally let go of the counter and stumbled back. Her back quickly found the wall, Leliana not fighting the fact her body wanted to fall to the floor. But she did fight in order to keep herself upright. If she were in a bedroom, the nurse would have let herself become a trembling ball on the floor. But this bathroom was...well, the floor was questionable in cleanliness. But that rational thought was quickly failing.
She couldn't stop shaking, her one hand clamped over her mouth to keep her sobs muffled, or at least, an attempt to. This was the stupidest thing, Leliana had no reason to be acting like this. And silently, she kept telling herself to can down. That she was overreacting. David meant well. But she also knew that wouldn't work. She wouldn't just magically calm down. The shaking wouldn't just stop, she couldn't just get her sobs to stop. It was really, really annoying actually. Her nails dug into her cheeks, eyes squeezing shut as her breath just seem to disappear.
That only sent her panic into overdrive as at first Leliana thought this might have been a more mild attack but...the hand fell away from her mouth as she desperately tried to take in oxygen, her chest rising and falling franticly. What she was doing, it was dangerous. Leliana had passed out before thanks to panic attacks like this...but this was something more. The darkness wasn't helping her, a dread had set in with the panic that she had unfortunately felt more than once in her life. Suddenly, she was back at Moe's, laying in that little storage closet. It was the only thing Leliana could think about, a terrifyingly consuming series of thoughts that wouldn't help her situation in the slightest. Her arms had tightly wrapped around her stomach by now, her legs pulled as close to her body as she could possibly get them. The only upside now was that her sobs had turned silent, so nobody would hear her.