OOC Discussion

[Lioness075]

Nah. This is more generalized discussion regarding the knights than any sort of protest.


I am not talking specifically about your character. For one, Avecca is a super there too. 


As for your character though, I don't think it is fair for me to offer character critique on him this late, especially if Welian has already accepted him. It isn't my place.

Oh, Falarion hasn't been given the official stamp of approval yet. He'll get in, but he's still open to criticisms, as none of my characters are likely near perfection (or ever will be). Everyone sees something different in a CS.


Isn't Avecca technically a robot, though? Would she really be considered a super? (I may be mixing her up with another character...I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone in this RP).

 

[Captain Hesperus]

Regarding the Knights of Raguel and their Supers. Is anyone here familiar with the White Wolf RPG 'Exalted'? Basically it's demi-gods in a pseudo-Edo era world. Except the most powerful of the demi-gods are hated and feared by the greater part of humanity thanks to some ancient bad stuff their previous incarnations pulled and a really good negative press narrative that lasted some three millennia. There's an organisation in the setting known as the Cult of the Illuminated that recruits normal humans AND the most powerful of these demi-gods. Only the demi-gods get their minds conditioned to believe they are bright, shining, big damn heroes, destined to rule the world with a benign hand and ably assisted by the Cult's shadowy leaders.


Now if we extrapolate that to the twisted pseudo-religious doctrine of the Knights. They feel they are ordained by a higher power to rid the world of the demonic taint of Supers, a holy mission, a crusade against the Devil's own spawn walking amongst good, honest folk. So what of these Supers within the Knights? That's simple, brothers and sisters, while Satan befouls the earth with these monstrous abominations, it falls upon us, the RIGHTEOUS, to use that Lucifer's own tools against him! Aye, brethren, we shall smite the Beast with his own weapons! Purge the UNRIGHTEOUS with cleansing fire, cast forth from the hands of these ANOINTED weapons and rid ourselves of the heresy of these demons in man's flesh. And then, once the world is freed of the TAINTED, then we shall reward our ANOINTED weapons with their just and deserved peace, a swift and noble end.


CAN I GET AN AMEN??



Captain Hesperus

 

[Gus]

Then there comes the image of Raquel and the feelings of its members. WHY do they work for Raquel? is it money or for hate of supers? If it is the latter WHY do they find some as "holy"? 

Lol'd at "Raquel" 


flashed on seinfeld episode where everyone got their ass kicked by an elderly Raquel Welch.

 

[D. Rex]

Regarding the Knights of Raguel and their Supers. Is anyone here familiar with the White Wolf RPG 'Exalted'? Basically it's demi-gods in a pseudo-Edo era world. Except the most powerful of the demi-gods are hated and feared by the greater part of humanity thanks to some ancient bad stuff their previous incarnations pulled and a really good negative press narrative that lasted some three millennia. There's an organisation in the setting known as the Cult of the Illuminated that recruits normal humans AND the most powerful of these demi-gods. Only the demi-gods get their minds conditioned to believe they are bright, shining, big damn heroes, destined to rule the world with a benign hand and ably assisted by the Cult's shadowy leaders.


Now if we extrapolate that to the twisted pseudo-religious doctrine of the Knights. They feel they are ordained by a higher power to rid the world of the demonic taint of Supers, a holy mission, a crusade against the Devil's own spawn walking amongst good, honest folk. So what of these Supers within the Knights? That's simple, brothers and sisters, while Satan befouls the earth with these monstrous abominations, it falls upon us, the RIGHTEOUS, to use that Lucifer's own tools against him! Aye, brethren, we shall smite the Beast with his own weapons! Purge the UNRIGHTEOUS with cleansing fire, cast forth from the hands of these ANOINTED weapons and rid ourselves of the heresy of these demons in man's flesh. And then, once the world is freed of the TAINTED, then we shall reward our ANOINTED weapons with their just and deserved peace, a swift and noble end.


CAN I GET AN AMEN??



Captain Hesperus

I would approve of this.


____


However! With that comes a the responsibility of showing that in the character, should such a path be applied to the Knights. As it would be such a prevalent theme of the supers, their actions and mindsets should revolve around it. 

Oh, Falarion hasn't been given the official stamp of approval yet. He'll get in, but he's still open to criticisms, as none of my characters are likely near perfection (or ever will be). Everyone sees something different in a CS.


Isn't Avecca technically a robot, though? Would she really be considered a super? (I may be mixing her up with another character...I'm having a hard time keeping up with everyone in this RP).

Well I can say a few things. As is, I think you would need to add a very good reason why he does not see himself as a super worthy of killing. What distinguishes "holy powers" from "depraved supers"? If he does see himself as a super, there should be a lot of emphasis on the hating of himself.  Not mopey in a corner self hate, mind you, like Vicky or Danny. But falling on his knees conviction to his God, and actions of self punishment and a hate so deep that he considers himself so lucky and blessed that he is being used as a tool against the supers. There would likely be no pride as he is not deserving of such feelings. A feeling that prevails over self preservation. 


Of course, I need to read over the CS again. Which I will do. But that is what comes to my mind when I think a cursed spawn being used as a instrument of holy cleansing.


Avecca is an Avecca. I will let Willy explain her.

 

[Lioness075]

Well I can say a few things. As is, I think you would need to add a very good reason why he does not see himself as a super worthy of killing. What distinguishes "holy powers" from "depraved supers"? If he does see himself as a super, there should be a lot of emphasis on the hating of himself.  Not mopey in a corner self hate, mind you, like Vicky or Danny. But falling on his knees conviction to his God, and actions of self punishment and a hate so deep that he considers himself so lucky and blessed that he is being used as a tool against the supers. There would likely be no pride as he is not deserving of such feelings. A feeling that prevails of self preservation. 

The way I've made Falarion, he's not going to need to hate himself. Yes, he's a super, but he's narcissistic. As in, DSM-5, official diagnosis of that. He doesn't need to hate himself in order to work with the Knights' ideologies and whatnot. He's going to be putting in a bit of acting to prop himself up in the way they want to see supers, or those who have been 'gifted' with tools to use against other supers.

 

[Captain Hesperus]

Well I can say a few things. As is, I think you would need to add a very good reason why he does not see himself as a super worthy of killing. What distinguishes "holy powers" from "depraved supers"? If he does see himself as a super, there should be a lot of emphasis on the hating of himself.  Not mopey in a corner self hate, mind you, like Vicky or Danny. But falling on his knees conviction to his God, and actions of self punishment and a hate so deep that he considers himself so lucky and blessed that he is being used as a tool against the supers. There would likely be no pride as he is not deserving of such feelings. A feeling that prevails of self preservation.

Anyone seen The Da Vinci Code? The monk, Silas, would be a good example of a Super indoctrinated by the Knights. Filled with righteous self-loathing and unworthiness before God, he uses various methods of self-flagellation to repent the sin of his existence.


Captain Hesperus

 

[Lioness075]

Anyone seen The Da Vinci Code? The monk, Silas, would be a good example of a Super indoctrinated by the Knights. Filled with righteous self-loathing and unworthiness before God, he uses various methods of self-flagellation to repent the sin of his existence.


Captain Hesperus

Oh god, that guy made me cringe and look away from the screen every time he appeared. Self-harm as extreme as that is horrifying to me. No thank you.

 

[Captain Hesperus]

Oh god, that guy made me cringe and look away from the screen every time he appeared. Self-harm as extreme as that is horrifying to me. No thank you.

But it is an example of the extremes to which indoctrination can lead. Falarion may have other means of atonement that aren't so horrific. How about a daily plunge into a bath full of ice? Ritual scarification? Tattooing choice verses of the Book of Raguel onto his skin? There's any number of ways of expressing remorse for his sinful existence.


Captain Hesperus

 

[Lioness075]

But it is an example of the extremes to which indoctrination can lead. Falarion may have other means of atonement that aren't so horrific. How about a daily plunge into a bath full of ice? Ritual scarification? Tattooing choice verses of the Book of Raguel onto his skin? There's any number of ways of expressing remorse for his sinful existence.


Captain Hesperus

Dude, I'm not making my character self-harm lol. I appreciate criticism, but not being told I should make my character self-harm for the sake of a perfectly realistic lifestyle. I'm strongly against self-harm IRL anyways, so I definitely don't want to write about my OCs doing it in RPs that I partake in for relaxation and stress-relief.


Falarion being narcissistic really does cover the basis of how he can get into the Knights' ranks and blend in with them. Look up the DSM-5 classification of it and it'll make much more sense to you. Narcissistic people act, like, all the time to get what they want. Falarion does not need to self-harm in order to blend in with the Knights.

 

[D. Rex]

The way I've made Falarion, he's not going to need to hate himself. Yes, he's a super, but he's narcissistic. As in, DSM-5, official diagnosis of that. He doesn't need to hate himself in order to work with the Knights' ideologies and whatnot. He's going to be putting in a bit of acting to prop himself up in the way they want to see supers, or those who have been 'gifted' with tools to use against other supers.

Then I suggest adding to his profile feelings of his position. And most importantly why he is among the knights. The narcissism, as I see it, would seem like a conflict of interest between him and Lord Rachel. 


I would want to see, for a start:


Why did he join the knights?


If his narcissism is a key part of him, why does he stay with a faction who hates his kind?


Why does the Knights trust him?


Why does he hate supers?


How has he been able to charm himself into his rank?


What is his rank within them?


How is he treated within the group?


Why was Dante a friend with a super?


How does he differentiate himself from other supers, hating them and not himself?


How does he feel about other supers within the organization?


Does Fal believe the doctrine of the knights?


What DOES Fal want?


And is his being in the Knights a selfish or selfless act?


Given that him being a Knight is a big deal, such things would be important about his character. Otherwise I would say that your character would seem better suited for a stand alone (or in a league of) super villains than a holy organization of super haters.

 

[Lioness075]

Then I suggest adding to his profile feelings of his position. And most importantly why he is among the knights. The narcissism, as I see it, would seem like a conflict of interest between him and Lord Rachel. 


I would want to see, for a start:


Why did he join the knights?


If his narcissism is a key part of him, why does he stay with a faction who hates his kind?


Why does the Knights trust him?


Why does he hate supers?


How has he been able to charm himself into his rank?


What is his rank?


How is he treated within the group?


Why was Dante a friend with a super?


How does he differentiate himself from other supers, hating them and not himself?


How does he feel about other supers within the organization?


Does Fal believe the doctrine of the knights?


What DOES Fal want?


And is his being in the Knights a selfish or selfless act?


Given that him being a Knight is a big deal, such things would be important about his character. Otherwise I would say that your character would seem better suited for a stand alone (or in a league of) super villains than a holy organization of super haters.

I'm going to again recommend that you look up the DSM-5 classification of narcissism. 


Also, in case you missed it, his super twin sister burned half of his face and now he's half-blind. If he didn't have a reason before, he has a very big reason now to want to hate and kill other supers. Not to mention, his sister's powers are stronger than his and she doesn't even want them.

 

[D. Rex]

I'm going to again recommend that you look up the DSM-5 classification of narcissism. 


Also, in case you missed it, his super twin sister burned half of his face and now he's half-blind. If he didn't have a reason before, he has a very big reason now to want to hate and kill other supers. Not to mention, his sister's powers are stronger than his and she doesn't even want them.

It is your responsibilty as the creator of your sheet to provide that information. Not mine to look it up. If I need to look it up, it is important enough to add to your CS.


As such, my critique still stands.

 

[D. Rex]

Also. Wasn't meaning to sound rude. Was just my critique and opinions of what I saw. 

 

[Gus]

Since I still can't post in the critique thread, I will just mention here that the rank should be E rather than N/A. and the minimum stat total is 10, max 12 for normal humans.


I would suggest a couple extra points in intelligence and will maybe? (maximum of 3 in any area)


Really like the concept of a plucky photoblogger dogging the steps of supers.  Who is the dangerous hero you refer to? An inquiring public wants to know!

 

[Gus]

Oh, and I will be AFK most of the rest of today, but will check in tonight...


Just 16 more posts to finish page 10 people! Can we do it before the deadline? (YES WE CAN!)


Go! Go! Go! Go!

 

[Lioness075]

Since I still can't post in the critique thread, I will just mention here that the rank should be E rather than N/A. and the minimum stat total is 10, max 12 for normal humans.


I would suggest a couple extra points in intelligence and will maybe? (maximum of 3 in any area)


Really like the concept of a plucky photoblogger dogging the steps of supers.  Who is the dangerous hero you refer to? An inquiring public wants to know!

I had no idea humans even had any stats lol. I'll input those later today.


Also, I didn't refer to any specific 'dangerous hero' in my CS?

 

[welian]

Soon.

 

[Lioness075]

Edited Piper so she has the E rank now, and her stats have been upgraded so she has 3 intelligence and 2 willpower. 

 

[Gus]

I had no idea humans even had any stats lol. I'll input those later today.


Also, I didn't refer to any specific 'dangerous hero' in my CS?

I was still rubbing sleep out of my eyes when I read it and I saw this:


[COLOR= rgb(39, 42, 52)] "had never met a dangerous super who had endangered her life"[/COLOR]


[COLOR= rgb(39, 42, 52)]*NEVER* being an key word that my brain did not tell me about, rather changing the meaning of the sentence.  I can read and comprehend. Usually both at the same time. But neither before coffee, apparently.[/COLOR]

 

[Gus]

I  do think it would be more interesting if you HAD met a dangerous hero who had endangered your life and you still defended them in spite of that.  


Or maybe that would just make you Jimmy Olson/Lois Lane? 


I dunno. 

 

[Gus]

Edited Piper so she has the E rank now, and her stats have been upgraded so she has 3 intelligence and 2 willpower. 

Remember 2 is average and 3 is exceptional. 1 is below average. (Except for energy stat where one is average, because on average normal humans have trouble with shooting lasers from their eyes or whatever)  So feel free to use all 12 points available to you. Maybe put 3 in defense so she can take a punch pretty good for a normal. Or health so she heals quick. Just anticipating likely issues for a normal hanging with supers. ;-)

 

[Lioness075]

I  do think it would be more interesting if you HAD met a dangerous hero who had endangered your life and you still defended them in spite of that.  


Or maybe that would just make you Jimmy Olson/Lois Lane? 


I dunno. 

That would make things more interesting. I think it could work, but I would likely prefer to have the super be a character currently in existence. Instead of my making some NPC super we may never see again, which wouldn't be nearly as much fun.


That being said, who offers up their super as tribute to the Piper cause? XD

Remember 2 is average and 3 is exceptional. 1 is below average. (Except for energy stat where one is average, because on average normal humans have trouble with shooting lasers from their eyes or whatever)  So feel free to use all 12 points available to you. Maybe put 3 in defense so she can take a punch pretty good for a normal. Or health so she heals quick. Just anticipating likely issues for a normal hanging with supers. ;-)

I thought 1 was average, my bad. >.< Okey, lemme go back in there and poke around a bit.

 

[Gus]

You don't have to start out with a relationship like that. Could develop organically. Or through mission board: "Wanted: Dangerous hero to threaten my life and yet somehow just make me more intrigued with the hero life."


Actually, now that I type it out loud, that seems rather unhealthy.

 

[Lioness075]

You don't have to start out with a relationship like that. Could develop organically. Or through mission board: "Wanted: Dangerous hero to threaten my life and yet somehow just make me more intrigued with the hero life."


Actually, now that I type it out loud, that seems rather unhealthy.

That sounds incredibly unhealthy. XD


Yeah, I'll probably just have her join up in the RP for the next episode and she'd likely end up eventually having something like that happen anyways.

 

[D. Rex]

That would make things more interesting. I think it could work, but I would likely prefer to have the super be a character currently in existence. Instead of my making some NPC super we may never see again, which wouldn't be nearly as much fun.


That being said, who offers up their super as tribute to the Piper cause? XD


I thought 1 was average, my bad. >.< Okey, lemme go back in there and poke around a bit.

I offer mine.