Max Abiulities and Attributes?

[Coyotekin]

:looks to Fireball and offers her the popcorn as He sat back to watch the show, and perhaps the eventual fireworks so common to the EC crew:

 

[Joseph]

Snip long ass manifesto of Joseph's

Ah Joseph, ever must you chase after ghosts and phantoms. Know this, your quest to be the next Don Quixote. Hounding after hallucinations that just do not exist.


It is a sad fact in life that progress trumps all, and it is forward thinking that I represent, not the path that luddites such as yourself would have humanity follow, with their face stick ever to the rude earth.


And if you and yours had your way... history will forward ever be the same mind-numbing gruel, while I bring a shining future to mankind, literating them from the chains of yesterday.


So, yes... let history be the judge. And it shall be my story that will be the true history.

It is with extreme disgust that I write this letter and say what will indisputably be considered confused by some of my peers. Nonetheless, it must be stated that venom-spouting lotharios, motivated by either Dadaism or a desire to lead an insipid life, are eager to help Haku nourish deranged ideologies. One of the first facts we should face is that we live in a deeply troubled society. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. Pompous ne'er-do-wells like him always lie. Even an occasional truth is intended only to cover up a bigger falsification and is therefore, itself, a deliberate untruth.


Once again, he seeks scapegoats for his own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target he can find, that is, treacherous, sex-crazed tyrannical-types. If Haku continues to muster enough force to take control of a nation and suck it dry, I will unquestionably be obliged to do something about him. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. While others have also published information about Pecksniffian scalawags, you might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us introduce an important, but underrepresented, angle on his drossy ultimata. No one has located the document in which Haku said that. No one has identified when or where Haku said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Haku has spent untold hours trying to pursue a twofold credo of anarchism and collectivism. During that time, did it ever once occur to him that money is not the solution to our Haku problem? Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: I have a New Year's resolution for Haku: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the dirty conclusion that he is a model citizen. We must deal stiffly with psychotic polemics who reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to derail Haku's delusional little schemes.


I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Haku is mongering. We need to honor our nation's glorious mosaic of cultures and ethnicities. The net effect of his opinions will be a generation of kids who are unable to read, write, or distinguish good from evil. But let's not quibble about that. He backstabs his goombahs. The mere mention of that fact guarantees that this letter will never get published in any mass-circulation periodical that Haku has any control over. But that's inconsequential, because if you read Haku's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that Haku is a martyr for freedom and a victim of escapism. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he says that he needs a little more time to clean up his act. As far as I'm concerned, his time has run out.


Please remember that I find Haku's demeanor and pomposity downright apalling. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: Why can't we simply agree to disagree? A clue might be that Haku's fatuitous treatises can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance. When I first heard about Haku's assertions, I dismissed them as merely conniving. But when I later learned that he wants me to have an identity crisis, I realized that I have to laugh when Haku says that the laws of nature don't apply to him. Where in the world did he get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with worthless vermin?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that if you were to try to tell his henchmen that evil drunks are deeply impressed by his guff, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Haku's fabulous success is not firmly connected with meritorious ability. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if Haku finds a way to exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not warped, jaded Neanderthals. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges. One might conclude that Haku is like a parrot that makes noises for attention without any kind of clue as to what it is saying. Alternatively, one might conclude that Haku wants to become an intellectual without the hardship of study and serious thought. In either case, I want nothing more -- or less -- than to maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting Haku. To that task I have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do likewise.


He might lead to the destruction of the human race in a lustrum or two. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome? Mutual efforts against frowzy cameralism are not just an educational process designed to teach people that the twisted, unprincipled anthropophagi who collaborate with Haku should be spat upon -- or worse -- for their lack of integrity. These efforts also serve as a beacon, warning the world of the unregenerate consequences of Haku's surly, shiftless remonstrations.


How is it that I knew from the beginning that he would sanctify his depravity? Am I smarter than everyone else? No, not at all. I'll admit that I'm smarter than Haku but that's like saying that I'm smarter than a toad. I knew what Haku would do because I realized that if he can't be reasoned out of his prejudices, he must be laughed out of them. If he can't be argued out of his selfishness, he must be shamed out of it.


If you think about it, he says that the average working-class person can't see through his chicanery. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. Let's try to understand what handing over our rights to Haku will really mean. It certainly won't mean that we'll be able to freely resolve a number of lingering problems. No, it will mean witchcraft, beastliness, rape, and murder will become omnipresent in our society. It will mean a descent back into the jungle.


No one -- except Haku, so high on his own hallucinations that he believes them to be real -- can seriously believe that censorship could benefit us. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that, so let me assure you that such conduct as Haku's induced the despotism of Cromwell and the two Bonapartes. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I only wish that Haku had the same intellectual honesty. If Haku truly believes that everyone and everything discriminates against him -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls -- then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. This should be a chance to examine and bring problems to light, to share and join in understanding, but it really bothers Haku when people don't obey him. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Perhaps I'm reading too much into his goals, but they don't seem to serve any purpose other than to pit people against each other.


In a previous letter, I announced my intention to provide people the wherewithal to grant people the freedom to pursue any endeavor they deem fitting to their skills, talent, and interest. Naturally, this announcement caused Haku to mutter abuses befitting his education. Incidents like that truly demonstrate how he is not as odious or vindictive as you might think. He's more so. Did it ever occur to him that maybe it is naive to think that he wouldn't inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan's hordes if he got the chance? Dream on.


His proposed social programs promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Haku's acolytes because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Haku. Perhaps he received his information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies. Does he have a point? I undeniably doubt it. Haku is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked. May we never forget this if we are to deny Haku and his cult followers a chance to destabilize the already volatile social fabric that Haku purportedly aims to save.

 

[Haku1]

If I was truly the evil that Joseph claim that I am, that would mean that I hold mastery over all of the free world. But the sad fact is that the world is not free. Not as long as there are people like Joseph who deals in fear and mongers in low-browed double-think speak. That is to say, words used in such a manner as to confuse people into thinking his way.


If you follow the thoughts of Joseph, and it is a terrible thing to subject oneself to, if one is sane and intelligent, you would come to believe that up is down, good is evil and that everyone is out to get you.


Listen not to his words, instead... look to the world, use what was given to you by God Almighty. Yes, people like Joseph have tried to shackle your minds and thoughts with their double-think talk, but you can rise above it. March against those who would oppress you with their dark heartedness and their cruel methods of mind control, for that is what is being employed here... mind control, and I'm not afraid to point fingers, but it has to be done, for the betterment of humanity.


And I trust that you will think on what I say, and come to the only conclusion that I truly deserve to be voted Emperor of the World.

 

[Coyotekin]

:Busts out the skittles and various other sugar-heavy treats and starts downing large amounts after realizing that his attention span failed to remain long enough to read either of the last 2 posts: