Magical Girls Club: Team Kagayaki! Crystal Lights!

It can very well be my mistake on this. The sentence in question was this:


"The small crowd dispersed, off to go join in gossiping with others. "


From this i thought that the crowd actually dissipated. I might have misunderstood something, if that is the case please do correct me.
 
I don't see what you mean, Dawn. there's no inconsistency about the crowd thing when Ayaka's post came in?


 
The crowd dispersed, but I dont see anything about them being there after that?


 
oh, wait. I see it. YOU added them back in, is that it? I can edit my own post to include a bit more of the crowd, in that case.
 
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" She didn't yet know that it was her that they were circled around. "


This was why i thought the crowd returned originally, but I may very well just suck at english lol. Sorry again, probably my fault.
 
WAIT, WAIT. i'm wrong again. xD i see what you mean now.


I dont think the crowd thing is an inconsistency, but more a bit of a perspective/time hop. I'm sure when Ayaka first caught sight of Kanna there was a crowd, but by the time she got there it could have dispersed.
 
With several people all doing things at different times, it can help to include details like that for things, to give a sense for when things are happening. So basically its like the events with Kanna and Nanako-sama happen. But then we jump back a bit to see what goes on when Ayako comes in the picture


 
It's no worry at all. better to ask than to stay confused!
 
@Yunn , I realise it may get a bit boring for you since your character wont be involved too much. o-o maybe, even though he's kinda on Manna's side, Kai could go to the Sakurabara school with the main team? maybe he's there to keep an eye on them.


He could already have been in the school, too, since Kanna followed her sister there. I'm sure time flows a bit differently in worlds. so maybe he's been there a while and knew Kanna would show up there?
 
Btw why doesnt Yunn comes to our school to do a cameo like "spying" on everyone else, and from that moment on he could continue from his own point of view?
 
[QUOTE="Son of Crota]I saw, I love add! :D Can anyone guess what the plot twist might be? I'll give you a hint if you're close.

[/QUOTE]
Lemme guess...he's your character's brother or something? :D
 
AikoMomone said:
Lemme guess...he's your character's brother or something? :D
Click to expand...
close...but no.

[QUOTE="Moon Rabbit]Your failed Kyousuke-esque love interest?

[/QUOTE]
well no, that's what he's based off of...nice guess though!
 
anti-cupid to the love story, then?


 


[QUOTE="Moon Rabbit]He's going to be the anti-cupid to Shin's Sayaka-like love story?

[/QUOTE]
cuz lol i edited it to be worded better
 
[QUOTE="Moon Rabbit]anti-cupid to the love story, then?
 



cuz lol i edited it to be worded better

[/QUOTE]
lol, this is getting fun, but nope! not an anti cupid! I will say that he is gonna be Shin's forever enemy though.
 
[QUOTE="Moon Rabbit]is he gonna kill off his love interest?

[/QUOTE]
interesting theory...but nope! Thanks for the idea though :D
 
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