Live From The Stage

[kindaemissary]

"Ever getting better, the future's taking shape."

After breaking up for a multitude of reasons years before, a punk rock band from Arizona slowly gathers itself together after a moving concert at a deceased fan's funeral. It takes a while for all of them to agree with each other and mend the past, and a rocky road is definitely in the future, but these four musicians will try to create themselves through new problems, new people, and new music.





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​

Excerpt from "Generation Gone?" Rolling Stone, Issue 1209 - Mar. 2015

"Graphic Generation. The name should ring a bell. After winning two Grammys, a Billboard Music Award, and three consecutive American Music Awards, they put their name in homes across the country, and maybe even across the world. With their punk rock instrumentalism, harsh vocals, and consuming lyrics, this band was only going up!


But after a string of problems, one after another, the band decided to go on a hiatus, which ultimately ended in breaking up. It was hard for the fans, hard for the paparazzi, and most of all hard on the music industry! The loss from not having Graphic Generation on the charts for the last couple of years might slowly heal due to the fact this once dead but never forgotten band has released dates for a new world tour starting in the spring of 2016. Hold onto your horses, kids! We've got a long wait before our prayers will finally be answered!"

Excerpt from "The Kids Are Back," Rock Sound, Issue 655 - Apr. 2015

"We're hoping it's more truth than fiction, but the most recent news in the punk rock world is that Graphic Generation has released dates for a 2016 World Tour. Crazy, right? We thought after all this mumbo jumbo about the band members no longer being friends was true! Even after they had a press conference for the end of Graphic Generation, we prevailed, and knew someday our favorite punk rockers would come back and save us. And by God we were right!"

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They have three top charting studio albums, a platinum sophomore effort, and #14 singles on Billboard's Top 40. Conflicting musical choices and personalities have been a problem in the past, but after mending their issues hopefully this band will be able to put a little bit of their pride to the side as they make the decision to give music another go. With so much faith from fans and the music industry itself, the only thing standing in Graphic Generations way as they face this new adventure is them.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
​

 

[Crazycake]

In Loving Memory Of

Fredrick J. Kramer

~July, 19th 1988 - January, 2nd 2015~

Mesa, Arizona Phoenix, Arizona





Funeral Service




Saturday, January, 10th, 2015


SkyLight Chapel


12 Noon

Officiated


Father Buckley Turner





Interment


Batlek Cemetery

Fredrick Jacob Kramer left this world, January 2nd, 2015 at Phoenix general hospital, surrounded by family and close friends.

Born, July, 19th 1989 to Daryl and Harriot Kramer in Mesa, Arizona, he was a perfectly healthy, 7 pound baby, third son in the family.

Freddy loved to play video games, skateboard, swim and most of all, listen to music and attend concerts whenever possible.

He is survived by his Mother and Father, older siblings; Jack and Oliver and younger siblings; Maverick and Wendy.

​

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The church lay open and silent. Not many in attendance, though a few pews where filled. A black stained casket at the end of a long walk between the pews would reveal a young man in his sunday best. Stone cold and without life- though still looking as though those eyes could open up, and those lips could curl and he could laugh once again. As the Officiator spoke words of god and a better place, soft whimpers filled the background while tears dampened the carpets. Individuals moved up, to say their peace to the young man, wish him on his way, all the proceedings of a funeral.



​

Having read over the funeral arrangements and obituary countless times, the words still faded into black. It was like some sort of sudden ending to this once bright, shining light in the universe. Freddy... too soon, faaaaaar too soon...


Sedgewick watched his foot fiddle up and down as it dangled off his propped up opposite leg. He lay in the back of a limousine, hands behind his head, seemingly only interested in his left foots upward and downward actions. He was thinking of the funeral; of course, remembering Fredrick Kramer, then Freddy K. the Graphic Generation ULTIMATE MEGA FAN.


The male smiled, thinking about him, and all the times they had spent together either through a sweepstakes or when the band moved through Arizona. Ole Freddy Kruger was a real, blood sweat and soul- lover of the sound; that was absolutely for sure. And now he was deceased, at the ripe old age of twenty six. It put into perspective how short life could be, that this was it and if you didn't do what you wanted then the chance could be gone forever. Sedgewick glanced over and out the window, seeing the tip of the steeple. He remembered being told something like that before; the whole 'Live everyday as if it was your last' speech. It never really mattered much to the twenty something year old, up until he began realized that he had been living his life how he wanted it. Playing the best music ever known, rocking out with good people, being loved by millions across the world, Shenanigans... Once those days became distant memories, it became hard to live everyday, when they didn't flash past in a blaze of glory.


He was nervous. It had been a long time since he'd seen the other members face to face. Once they where like some sort of weird family, that people couldn't get enough of. Now just ghosts and shells. . .


Exhaling a long, exaggerated sigh, the drummer sat up, snapping his fingers and leaning back as the limo pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards Batlek cemetery where a stage was set for a 'One last show for Fred' type interment ceremony. Wick had to admit; it was pretty bad ass to ask- in your will- that your favorite band come back together and play as you are lowered into the earth. It was rather dark but..... they had all agreed to do it.... So that meant something.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan's fingers twitched in her lap as she sat in the passenger seat of Nico's car. She could have made a big deal about her appearance, go full out and order a limo and police escort, but this wasn't about her. She hoped the guys realized that it wasn't about them either. Nico offered to go with her after she made it clear that she didn't want to go alone. He was a few years older and a light tech for Queens of the Stone Age, and they had met a few years earlier when she was working with Rage. It was a complicated friendship, but she was glad that she didn't have to go alone. She knew that if the band started any shit that she didn't want to be a part of, she could leave whenever she wanted to. Nico was there for security more than a ride.


She looked out the window as they pulled into Batlek cemetery. After not talking to any of the guys for years, she felt like this was more of a rejuvenation than it was a funeral. This kid's last wish was for his favorite band to get back together and play one last show, and since they never did it while he was alive, this was the last chance they got.


She knew Freddy. Not as much as the guys did, but enough to know that it was more than just a loss for him to be gone. It was weird, somehow unfathomable, that she was at his funeral ready to rock out. The band had sent some emails back and forth to play mostly quieter songs, songs without too much screaming or too much swearing. It was only polite. They knew that Freddy's favorite song was Nine Is God, so they were definitely going to play it to the fullest extent that they could.


It might have seemed stupid for her to think it, but she was surprised that all four of them had agreed to play again together after such a long time and after such a bad breakup. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, with all of them, and she was just glad that all of them had put their feelings aside enough to play one last show.


When Nico parked the car and turned off the engine, Rowan climbed out and fixed her dress. It was a funeral after all. She zipped her jacket up to her breasts and shut the passenger door. Nico popped open the trunk and she went around, pulling out her Thunderbird in its case. She had her amp with her just in case, but she was told that all of the electrics were already taken care of. The funeral procession hadn't started yet, and she nodded towards Nico with a small smile. As he shut the trunk, she slung the case's strap over her shoulder.


"I'm gonna park up by the road," he told her, and he wrapped one arm around her shoulder as he pulled her into a hug. "This might seem like the most ridiculous reunion, but don't let any of them get to you. You're here for the kid." She nodded against his neck, and he pulled away, placing a kiss onto her forehead.


As Nico drove back towards the gates of the cemetery to park out of the way, Rowan pursed her lips together and got her attitude in check. This wasn't about her; she knew that. Besides, after this show she could go back to her own life and go another 3 years without talking to anyone. She had been staying at her parents' house in Tempe, AZ for the past couple of days before the funeral. She came down for the holidays and decided to stay instead of going back and then returning back to AZ.


Rowan grabbed the handle on her guitar case and used her other hand to push some hair out of her face. Once all of this was over she could forget about Graphic Generation once and for all. There were a couple things holding her back from letting it go, but it was mostly because of the terms they ended on. Everything was blown out proportion. At least now she would be able to fix her issues with them and let go. This was the end.


She adjusted her sunglasses and headed towards the makeshift stage praying to some kind of god that today would go okay.

 

[Crazycake]

Crouched by the edge of the empty grave, the drummer hummed lowly to himself. Trapped in his head for a moment, he opened those majestic blue eyes looking down the 6-ft into the earth. He seemed to drift there a moment, thinking about how humans had these ceremonies dedicated to death, and committing the body into the earth, and all the different ways that people decided what was to be done.


Never really thinking about it, more so saving that time for when someone nearby passes, Sedgewick found that this death rang out loudly. Was it , with Freddy's passing, that the band was coming together once more? This group who swore, never again. So much fighting, hurt and anger. They were dead and gone for almost five years. And now...... Freddy was pulling them back. He never stopped believing; he couldn't see the four splitting forever, it just didn't make sense to him. " Graphic Generations: Ultimate Mega Fan.... maybe with you gone we're totally done...."


Letting out a breath, the male stood up, letting his dark green dreadnoughts fall over top of his simple black dress shirt and tie. He pocketed his hands in his black slacks, letting his thumbs slip under the belt loops. Only one ring was on his person, one made of gold and onyx on his left hands thumb. Other wise he was rather void of any articles, which made him look unlike the male he once was. Although, it was mainly through respect, he partially wanted to show that he had changed in the past few years.


He wanted to believe everyone had. Though..... if that was the case, how would they know one another anymore. Seeing someone coming up the pathway, Sedgewick felt his chest tighten and his stomach knot as he lifted his hand to his brow to shield his gaze from the suns glare. It was a female. Light colored hair. Bass guitar? " ROWANNN!!!! " shouting a bit louder then intended, the dreaded drummer found himself unable to stop a huge million dollar smile from spreading across his face, waving with his opposite hand to the bassist. The sudden movement, caused his balance to waver, as he nearly became an occupant of the grave. The male managed to wobble away from the large hole, placing a hand on his chest and shaking his head at just how horrible that would have been if he'd just biffed it. Sighing, he laughed at the idea; the sound feeling foreign to him- like a long lost sensation from the past. This was going to be filled with them, so it seemed good that it started out with a positive one.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan heard as her name rang out from the grave, placed her free hand over her eyes as a shade, and smiled brighter than the moon in the sun's reflection. She had always gotten along with Sedgewick - from the very beginning they were friends. With all of the chaos happening between the four of them before they split up, he was the easiest to talk to and the easiest to be around. Gage and Tommy were totally different stories; stories that she didn't want to dwell upon.


"Sedgewick!" she called out, walking faster now towards the grave. She watched him tumble closer towards the hole in the earth and thanked whatever God there was when he didn't fall in. It would have been a terrible start to their day to have a dirty (no pun intended) drummer. It would be very punk rock, but nonetheless. A blessing in disguise that they would have a clean show. With Gage being around, they were going to need it.


She neared Sedgewick and dropped her guitar to the ground once she got close enough. Rowan pulled him a few more feet from the grave and wrapped her arms around his neck, taking a deep breath. "It has been too long, my friend. It's very sad that something like this had to have happened for all of us to be together again." She pulled back and placed one hand on his shoulder. The other moved her sunglasses up from her eyes. "You look good. Healthy." She smiled warmly and gave his shoulder a clean squeeze.


"Have you heard anything from Tommy?" she asked. "Or Gage?" She looked back towards Nico who was heading back towards the stage and sighed as she met Sedgewick's eyes again. "I... Well, I stopped talking to them as soon as it was over. I didn't want to dwell. Are you guys still in contact"?

 

[Crazycake]

Yes, it actually was Rowan; the bad ass bassist babe. She always managed to be the solid ground when somebody was too wild. Though she had been pretty crazy too, Sedgewick always envied her ability to go from beauty to beast in a flash. Getting tugged away from the large hole; very much like a toddler from danger, sticking his tongue out wearily and hugging her torso in the greeting exchange. Nodding a tad bit sadly, he silently had to agreed that a funeral wasn't the best place for a reunion. Though as far as resurrections go. . .


" Oh yeah??" Making a cutesy face, he lifted his palms up to his cheeks and tilted his head to one side. Chuckling, he simply could not wipe the smile off his face. It was crazy, the feeling, the energy- he hoped it would stay once the others showed up. It was almost as if certain combinations of the four worked, but all at once just made a mess. It was strange, but in all the rise and fall, the drummer wasn't able to determine a proper pattern. They all just managed to find a fight somehow.


Glancing to the guy heading to the stage, he arched a bow for a moment, fidgeting with one of his locks of dread and looking down. "I gotta message from Gage that he'd be here. But that was a few days ago. Tom- AXEL I guess - hasn't responded. Though he did agree to it back when we got the call soooo....." Looking back up and meeting the Bassists gaze, he shifted his lower jaw from side to side, tossing his dread away and forcing his hands to his back. " I don't know, never knew Gage or Tommy to bail on something, specially like this, but I mean....It has been a while" Shrugging, he blinked looking to the stage. " I don't want to believe somebody could change THAT much in just a few years..."

 

[kindaemissary]

"I'm pretty sure that they'll both be here," Rowan assured, and she ran her thumb into his shoulder blade. "As if they'd be the ones to blow off limelight." She forced a smile and glanced back over her shoulder as to where Sedgewick was looking. She knew that she was going to have to explain her relationship with Nico, because she knew from the get-go that everyone was going to assume wrong.


"I read that article," she said, and she glanced back towards Sedgewick. "The one where Tommy changed his entire identity for showbiz. It was a weird read, but the author was from Rolling Stone, so how do we even know that half of the stuff in there is true? Journalists are still the enemy." She shrugged a bit a pulled her arm back from Sedgewick's shoulder. Their relationship wasn't as complicated as the others, and since they never or hardly ever fought, it was easier to reconnect with him that it would be to reconnect with with Tommy or Gage. Besides, she was still wondering what had happened to Gage after the break up. She knew that Tommy had started fighting and then did some stunts for movies, but the last she heard about Gage was that he was going to go to rehab, but who knew how long that lasted?


Nico approached the two of them and Rowan walked over to him, turning back to Sedgewick. "Hey, this is Nico. We met when I was the tour manager for Rage Against the Machine. They did a show with Queens of the Stone age towards the end of the tour, and since Nico worked with them, we became friends." She smiled towards Sedgewick and looked back to Nico. "We've been friends for a couple years now, but we're just friends. I know that Tommy and Gage are probably going to think otherwise, but we're definitely not dating."


"Besides," Nico said after a moment. He reached out towards Sedgewick for a handshake. "I'm 100% gay, so there's no chance of us being together. I've heard that the other two won't look at that as a real reason, but whatever. We're being honest."

 

[Crazycake]

His hand moved up over her own as she dug her thumb into his shoulder, looking back to Rowan. It didn't hurt, though he still mouthed a exaggerated 'Oooowwww' rubbing her hand and his shoulder; in a sort of ' yea sure they would' supportive kind of sense. The way he saw it, it was a 50/50 chance of them both coming. It usually was like tnt and the flame with those two.


Trying to remember if there was a time when they actually worked together and got, kind of, along. " Yeaaaaa, the paparazzi are shit. En Tom just dove right into them..." lowering his arm as the bassists pulled hers back, he took a moment to actually think about the fours relationships. Snapping out of that void of a conundrum, he placed his forest glade colored eyes upon the man who'd been walking to the stage. He smiled hearing how they met, swinging his arm out and meeting Nico's for a hand shake. " A friend of Row's is a friend of mine any day." Shaking his hand he blinked, hearing the statement. Nodding, he held back a laughter, one he wasn't sure about- possibly just the situation that was going to probably happen later on. " Homosexual, eh? Well...." He sighed, just smiling, not wanting to lie and say they might understand. " I'm sure they won't hate ya for that. . ." Keeping his big goofy grin, his attention moved towards the parking lot as the roar from a motorcycle came into ear shot.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A cycle drove up into the cemetery, keeping to the driving path closest to where the stage was set. Rolling to a stop a few yards away from the set up, the biker kicked out their stand, and killed the vehicles engine. Leaning back on the bike, the leather clad rider slowly lifted their hands up to remove the jet black helmet adorning their skull. This revealed 'Axel' Gunner, in all his glory, which just meant a slightly beefier Tommy Winston. The bravado could be sensed a mile away, as the male hung the helmet on the handle of the bike, moving a hand across the shaved side of his head. His red and black mohawk managed to stay relatively straight up, as if his own defiant attitude was used to keep it in place.


The male un zipped his leather jacket, revealing his bare chest and abdomen, nothing but his various tattoos adorning his naked flesh. He placed something in his mouth, what looked like a brown cigarette, and lit it with a puff of smoke. Pocketing the golden zippo he seemed to just pull out of thin air, the lead guitarist puffed a cloud, before casting his set of amber lenses around the grave stones. Stopping once he reached the stage, he saw two figures from way long ago; practically ghosts among the tombstones. Staring for a moment, through a thin screen of grey air, he sighed, removing the cigarillo from his jaws and putting it out on the shoulder of his jacket. Setting the smokable on top of the bike, he stepped off the vehicle, rolling his shoulders and leaning against it with his arms crossed.


As always, if he wasn't on an absolute RAGE, the being was hard to read. He'd fight everyone who tried to understand, try to move past the surface. But only three had ever managed that. Now it looked as if he was closed up tightly, building multiple more walls against the outside world. Or he could be constipated. Axel wasn't one to share much with anyone. For now, he was waiting on his guitars en enjoying the sunny day.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan smiled and nodded towards Nico after him and Sedgewick shook hands. She watched Nico go back to her side and smile unabashedly towards Sedgewick put his palm against the small of her back. Their relationship was really nice, and since they were friends and Sedgewick could see that, she knew that at least one person wouldn't have a problem with Nico being there. If the other guys did, she knew that Nico would brush it off. From all the stories that she told him, he had to know that their biased and obnoxious opinions meant shit to her.


A sound of loud motorcycle engine rumbled from the road and pulled into the cemetery, parking just feet from their stage. Rowan was used to the members of the band not caring about other people or really thinking about how other people felt, but she thought for some reason that they would make an effort. They were at a funeral for fuck's sake, not some underground indie concert.


She watched Tommy take off his helmet and she tried not to grit her teeth. She was glad that he arrived before Gage, but she was pretty sure the showbiz world changed him more than anyone really wanted to admit. When she read the article in Rolling Stone, she wasn't even sure if it was the same guy. Had Tommy changed so much that he changed his entire personality, physically, and mentality? He even went so far as to change his name, and Rowan wasn't sure what to make of that. It seemed too over the top.


Obviously he hadn't given up smoking, but she didn't think that he would. He never even mentioned wanting to kick the habit, so she doesn't even know why she noticed it. Maybe years of lack of contact was the real problem, but that wasn't Rowan's fault. There were many reasons for her taking both Tommy and Gage out of her life, and they both knew it. If they were stupid enough to think that she would forgive them for anything, they were fucking stupid. Rowan didn't put up with their shit then, and she sure as hell wasn't going to put up with it now.


"3 down, 1 to go," she said, and she glanced over towards Sedgewick. She wasn't sure where any of the guys left off with each other, but it really wasn't any of her business. They had their own issues, and she had enough of her own to worry about. She didn't need to be occupied by theirs. She felt Nico tap his fingers against her back, and she looked to him, smiling with her mouth closed to show that she was alright, just worried. He knew why she was a little on edge, but he didn't have the right to bring any of it up.

 

[Crazycake]

A chill went through the drummer as that helmet came off and he saw the mohawk. Motherfucking Tommy Winston, once the scariest guy he knew, somehow becoming close like a brother- now pure enigma. Sedgewick knew he wouldn't try anything against the band, at least he wanted to believe the tortured soul wouldn't; as for any bystandards.... look out.


" Gage 'll come. He was the mastermind behind everything after all" Chuckling, the male swayed from side to side, letting out a long sigh before looking to Nico, then Rowan. " I'm going to head over. Fuck it, yea know? " Smiling one of those heart melting face expressions, he clapped his hands together, giving them a shake, before nodding and starting a strut to end all struts over to the ominous figure at the motor cycle. Half way there he caught a whiff of the smoke cloud, narrowing his gaze. There was familiar smells in there. Some unfamiliar. Many questions sparked up as he slowed his advance, making sure to make eye contact before coming any closer.


Those animalistic eyes slowly opened as they moved over to the dread head seemingly sneaking up on the biker; completely and utterly devoid of any sort of care in the world. Though, as the bluey green eyed hippy lifted his hands up, taking a fighters stance and starting to dance a little, it was Tommy- not Axel, who had to crack a smile. Stepping away from the bike, the guitarist opened his arms wide, waving the other man in. " Come on, yea fuck'in goof ball" Sedgewick hesitated, feeling the pressure, he juked left, then dodged right, swooping in and wrapping his arms around the man with a happy sigh. " Hollly shit, it's like hugging a tree! Jezuz man!" the two shared a laugh, patting one another on the back and separating to resting on one anothers shoulders. The image of Axel was a monster, and essentially so was Tommy- but some how- Sedgewick spoke to Tommy's soul, pulling him out enough to at least share a moment.


He was always like that, Sedgewick. Managing to slip through the thick barriers, just enough. Even though Tommy was notorious for being a rebel loner, even he was susceptible to this feel good bullshit, Wick was selling. At the very least, enough that he could tolerate the band being back together one last time. Tilting his mohawk towards the stage, he glanced at Rowan and company, arching a brow and looking away before he was turned to stone. "So? You sort of ghosted, huh? You got a wife and kids now 'er somethin?" Tommy clicked his tongue, smiling like the wolf smiles at it's dinner, letting a deep chuckle roll out from him as he looked to the parking lot.


" Haha, I doubt any of us 'll get THAT crazy man. Worlds wayyyyy too heavy for that kind of bag." Evading the question, Sedgewick looked to the parking lot as well, wondering if Tom was thinking what he was. Graphic Generation wasn't a trio. There was just one more piece left and then they were all in the same place once again. The drummers stomach rippled at the feeling that thought gave him, as he fidgeted with one beaded dread, absent mindedly. " You got your sound makers on this rig some were or what?" Snapping out of the moment, Sedgewick patted the motorcycle, leaning back and forward, not seeing any guitars. Putting his glade colored lenses upon those wolfy amber eyes, he arched a brow, seriously hoping the guy didn't show up JUST to crash a funeral.


Tommy scoffed, lifting his arm away from the lad and standing up. " Noooooo, I got a little crew coming. They have my stuff tuned up and everything. " He smiled, shaking his head at the other male. "We all can't just hit things and produce music after all" The guitarist let out a snigger towards Wick, turning to the lot as a van pulled up. " Ah! And here we are!" The doors opened revealing two large men in similar black outfits; black slacks, black shirts, black blazers- black black black black- more dressed up then Tommy was actually. They moved out and recovered four guitar cases from the vehicle. Three woman piled out of the van as well, looking dressed up in punkish MadMax-ish fashion; wild hair styles ranging from various intertwining braids to some sort of warrior fawkhawk, ranging in colors. Their dress wasn't too risque. Tommy acquired a big, tooth filled, grin, patting the two towering men on the back as they walked past him towards the stage in silence. Sedgewick held a look that was some where between utter confusion, and disappointment, as the girls ran into Axel, giggling and staggering in place as he draped his arms around the three, turning to Wick. " Girls, this is my very old friend Sedgewick Irais Mervph. Wick, this is Tabitha, Cassy annnndd....Hanna? Hannnnna!"


Managing a smile, diluted and weak as it was, the drummer, shook the.....girls hands, being polite as possible. "Well, I best go check out my.....set. See yea up there Tom-A-AA-Axel...." Giving a wave, he nodded, slipping away from whatever the hell that was. This was a funeral still, right? Sure, everyone mourns differently, but Fred didn't seem too into the party scene. Glancing over to Rowan and Nico as he passed by, the drummer gave a half hearted smile, looking to the stage with a sigh and heading around the back. Watching him go, Axel ran his tongue along his teeth, moving to his bike to collect his cigarillo. Though, as he inspected the bike, he couldn't find the custom made coffin nail he'd previously indulged in. Lifting his hands to the bridge of his nose, he let out a groan, shaking his head. Well, at least it was a beautiful day out.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan watched as Sedgewick walked over towards Tommy, and she felt Nico tense up next to her. He knew everything, and it was nice to have an outsider to share things with, but she didn't want him to make things more awkward for her. She removed his hand from her back and squeezed it inside of her palm. They made eye contact for a moment, and she smiled reassuringly, but he didn't seem convinced. She wondered why she thought he would be.


As the car pulled up to the drive and a group of people got out, Rowan's face turned unimpressed. Why was Tommy bringing groupies to a funeral? Had he tact? She took a deep breath and let him interact with Sedgewick some more before she tapped Nico's forearm and gestured towards the stage. "I'm gonna follow Wick over there, get my equipment figured out. You'll be back of the stage during the songs, but do whatever you want now. Just please, don't talk to Tommy." She looked over towards Tommy as he messed with his bike and rolled her eyes.


"Relax," Nico told her. He placed a hand on Rowan's shoulder, and she took a deep breath. "After today, everything is over. No worries. We go back to LA and live our lives." He pulled her into a one-armed hug and patted her back. "Now go get your shit together so we can get this show on the road." He moved away and grinned before walking away and towards the headstones.


She wasn't used to all of the tension after a lack of communication for so long, but it was overwhelming. Immensely overwhelming. Once she had the chance, she was heading back to LA. Her parents wouldn't mind if they ditched a few days earlier, and she could always invite them up to her place. She had enough room anyway.


Rowan headed towards the stage and pulled her bass from its case, smiling at Sedgewick as she plugged the guitar into her amp. "What's up with Tommy's hookers?" she asked, raising a disappointed eyebrow. "He does realize this is a funeral, doesn't he?"


- - - - - - - - - - - -


Gage parked far enough down the road that there was still room for the procession to get into the cemetery. It had been a long time since he had been to a funeral - a good five years - but he knew the standards. He shut off the engine and opened his door, climbing out of the vehicle. His suit jacket was a little folded, but he pressed it against his stomach with force so that it wasn't as wrinkled as before. The weather in Arizona was nice for wearing a suit - no overaccumulation of clouds, no rain (even though there hardly ever was), and a clear azure sky.


What a perfect day for a funeral.


He pulled the back driver's side door open and grabbed his band, which held his microphone and chords. He was told that they would have a set for him here, but he didn't want to use a mic that he wasn't used to. Any number of things could go wrong with unfamiliar equipment. He shut the door and locked the car, looking up towards the stage set up towards the left center of the cemetery.


Sedgewick and Rowan were on stage, getting everything tuned and connected, and Tommy was figuring something out with a motorcycle. Gage was the last one to arrive. It started to get that way towards the end of Graphic Generation, but when they had just started out with concerts and small gigs, Gage was the first to get there. He thought that maybe it was because of the drugs that be started to care less, but maybe he just grew less punctual. After all, a long time had passed before he used anything. He left Rehab a little over three years ago and cleaned up his entire life, but it seemed like he was never getting his timing back. Not with so much stress and pressure.


Honestly, Gage didn't want to walk up there. He didn't want to face any of them, not after what had happened before they broke up. One of the last times he saw Rowan or Tommy in person, he was on the edge of overdossing. Sedgewick had been there too, but they continued communication for a short while after the band ended things. They were talking up until now, just not daily. They were the only two that really remained friends, from what Gage understood. Tommy and Rowan pretty much left the music world completely, and him and Sedgewick were still holding on for dear life. Maybe that's just what makes a rocker.


Gage pulled himself together and tightened his grip on his mic bag. He knew that this was going to be an emotional day for everyone, but he didn't it to start so soon. What the fuck, he thought to himself. I have to go no matter what. Gage started walking towards the stage and maintained control of his breathing the entire time. He might have been nervous as hell, but he wasn't going to let that get the best of him.

 

[Crazycake]

" They're just shields. . ." Sedgewick spoke with a monotone voice, as if he was in a trance, staring over his toms and through his cymbals at.... nothing really. From within his makeshift castle keep of percussion, he sat upon his comfortable stool throne, casualty twirling one mighty black drumstick in his left hand as the other tapped his leg to an unknown rhythm. Sitting in the drum crescent usually had a philosophical effect on the lad, and it seemed like there was lots of that energy saved up. He stared unblinking, across the tops of the head stones off some where else, not really processing much, more deep in thought.


" Tom always had difficulty deal'in with feel'ins...sort of makes sense he'd bring reinforcements from his new life..." Starting a light rhythm on his snare, he pointed over to the two large men who had Axel's guitars all shined up and prepared on his portion of the stage. One guitar stood on it's own stand near the front of the stage. It appeared to be a 1984 Explorer EX, same white splatter on the black style as Tommy's old guitar. A shiny metallic pick rested on the nut at the head of the guitar. The drummer knocked a few toms in a little spur combo, before going back to the light snare rhythm. " Ole Fred meant something to all of us, in his own way. Maybe he couldn't handle the show on his own..." Wick's high hat hissed in as he implemented it into whatever little warm up he was doing. "....Maybe he couldn't handle us..." softly taping his cymbals, he wrapped up his little number, setting his sticks down and finally blinking. His eyes focused and moved to a figure coming up the path. " Holy shit, it's Gage" Those words almost came out smothered with surprise, though the drummer managed to pull it back enough.


---------------------------------------------------------------------


Axel was a professional fighter, he'd practically fallen into the career after some coach decided having a washed up star would be good for publicity. In his first tournament, he wowed the MMA world with he ferocity and dedication to the sport, even refusing acceptance of the championship belt on the terms of a technicality. Even before the creation of 'Axel'- Tommy was a scrapper with anyone that looked at him wrong, a brawler in any club or bar he went to in the wrong mood and an all around fuming volcano of bravado and testosterone.


But that all didn't seem to matter, as he glanced his amber gaze over down the path, seeing that guy coming up the walk way. Bradley Regredor. No, this was Gage. Axel couldn't remember a time where they weren't at one another's throats. Like destined adversaries or something. Opposites, yet the same.


Then with Graphic Generation...... now how did that work? Some how, they had worked together, created a sound that people simply could not get enough of. He remembered fighting, breaking things, storming off into the rain. He also remembered amazing solo's on stage, standing back to back, being the two craziest people at the party, pushing each others limits. Sherlock and Moriarty. Batman and the Joker. Coke and Pepsi. Was that what kept them around? The back and forth between them? Tommy remembered never meeting someone like Gage before, his way with music, how he managed to orchestrate the band. It helped that the four were talented, but Gage managed each aspect so well. What the hell happened.


Did one push too far? Everyone had a breaking point, and Tommy did like to test them constantly. Had he been the pin to that grenade? Or was it Rowan; becoming another contest for them both to see who was better, who could win her. Wasn't that the stupid tabloids? Making up piles and piles of garbage about the band- Is Tommy on the roids? AGAIN?!?, Rowan bald?!CANCER FEARS?!, Gage's multiple, pregnant girlfriends!!!, Sedgewick's secretly gay!, Tommy vs Gage: Who wins Rowans heart?- It was known that they where rivals, but that was a publicity thing for the fans. They'd been friends at some point...... right?


Pressing his eyes closed tightly, the mowhawked devil, gave his head a wicked shake, forcing out all the crap that was happening in his mind. The three chicks had moved over in front of the stage, remaining rather silent and solemn, facing the set up though on the other side of the grave site. They stood in a row, heads bowed slightly, eyes closed. They looked rather creepy now, not drunkingly staggering about as before.


Tommy shot an empty glare over towards Gage, stepping off his bike and walking towards the stage before the vocals guy could get there. He came up to his set, taking up his black ZV Custom and sliding the sling over. Nodding to the two massive eyes, they walked back stage, as the guitarist looked to Sedgewick, then.


"Hey"


The male spoke to the girl, managed a slightly sadistic smile- which for him was a 'nice' smile.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan didn't even remember when everything took its final shit. All of the rumors got to be too much and everything just seemed to collapse, one idea after another, and before she knew it the band was done. Over. Gone. It was hard to believe that something so beautiful and welcoming could spit out its four members like trash and hope that they knew how to make it on their own. Since she was a teenager, a young teenager, Rowan had always had these guys around. She grew up with them. They were the graphic generation before Graphic Generation. It was crazy how all of that was gone and she had no desire get any of it back.


Without them, she was free. She had a life and prospering one at that. Her resume was ridiculous compared to how bare it was during the early years of GG. Her high school diploma and an associates degree, a job at the ice cream shoppe down on fourth street, and her uncanny knack of understanding Microsoft Office. That was what she had to offer the world back then, and now? Now she had a B.A. in music and film, multiple world tours, GG (for what that meant to anyone), and numerou amounts of people willing to vouch for her prestige. She was set. In the last couple of months, she had been talking with Crosses as they realized they wanted to do a North American tour, and from what they had heard from other hard-rock musicians is that Rowan Tennor was the best in the business. She was set to manage 7 months of music and three grown men as the traveled NA and shared their musical talents.


Now, Rowan obviously missed playing. There was nothing more intimate than playing music with someone. Jamming a tune with a friend or lover was something she never did until she realized how much they meant to her. Her list was short and close to home, but aside from the guys of GG, she had only played with her parents, her brother, and Nico. Otherwise, she hadn't found anyone. It was too hard to find "that person" when everyone around you either had that person already or was an ass. There was no inbetween.


But now that she knew what her life was without Graphic Generation, she didn't know if she'd ever want to go back. She had a life now. A life without all the drama between Tommy and Gage, without all the publicity from being "a punk hit", without all the mess that they caused themselves. She was happy without all of that, and she would make sure that today didn't change any of that.


She saw Gage walk up the lane towards the stage and Tommy nearing closer from the corner of her eye, and Tommy ended up getting to her first. She wondered who would make the first lunge towards her, and Tommy proved her right. Then again, he got their first.


"Hey," she replied, and she leaned down to adjust the bass on her amp. There was no need to have the crowd vibrating - this was a funeral, not a gig. "I didn't know if you were coming. Sedgewick said you never replied."


- - - - - - - - - - - -


Gage saw Tommy approach Rowan before he could get there, but there was no reason to be upset. He was there to woo her. He was there to play one last ode to a young man who's life ended way too soon. It was easy to think past it because he knew that he couldn't change everything. Or maybe even anything. Even without religion in his life, Gage's NA program had proved that the serenity prayer was something that everyone could use.


He moved past them when he reached the stage after he nodded at them both politely, and he reached Sedgewick with a smile on his face. It was hard to remain calm with all of the tension in the air, but being around all of them was going to have to get back after some time. Besides, if they could mend their problems, they might even go back to being friends. Gage wouldn't push for anything more.


"Your hair is a lot longer than I remembered," Gage grinned, and he set down his bag before wrapping Wick in a ridiculous bear hug. Without seeing a long-time friend for so long, he needed that extra physical touch.

 

[Crazycake]

" I meant to respond, or tell someone to reply or something. Wasn't too sure if I could get the day off. I'm sure my manager's ripping her hair out as we speak..." The smile shifted into a devilish smirk, as he shifted his gaze out over the tombstones, to the large van that his troop had arrived in. Waving at it, Axel didn't even know if his manager was still in the vehicle. She'd been so pissed.


Fact was, Tommy had burnt through so many PR people it was a miracle he was still able to find work in the business. He hadn't even checked her out really, just said whatever and carried on. She seemed able enough, scheduling things around other things, and planning appearances and all kinds of stuff. Though she did seem to be a cold-heartless-bitch 100% of the time. Axel wondered if her and Rowan would get along as he looked back over to the blind bassist, while Gage was..... doing whatever he was doing.


He was sure they'd take his attitude as either stuck up Hollywood or typical rebellious asshole- but some how that was better then his actual genuine feeling of.... actually he didn't even know. Loss? Contempt? Conflicting Confusion, Constantly Colliding Crazily? He had had no idea. He knew he was here for Fred. Probably the last, sorry shit who believed in the train wreck that was : Graphic Generation. " You en your boy make it out okay?" jabbing his chin in the direction of the fella she'd been in arms with when he drove up, Axel went to mess with his guitar, though realized it was already in perfect condition.


-------------------------------------------------


"Been growing it like mad! " As a smile took over an impossible amount of Sedgewicks face, his eyes seemed to spark up with a wild glow, getting entangled with Gage in the bearish hug. He squeezed the band mate as hard as he could, but found he just didn't have the muscle for it, tapping out on the dark haired vocalist's shoulder. " Alright alright, you win, haha, damn. I missed you brotha." Nodding he couldn't get ride of the smile on his face taking a look at the lead man, the head guy, the one with the ideas. Gage had an energy to him. Electric. Everyone of them had an energy, but some how Gage just amplified it in the best way. Least that's how the 'hippy' saw it.


" Really, I missed all of you. It blows that we gotta meet cause of Fred, but....." Looking downwards as his smile dimmed to a little curl of the lips. " I'm glad we all were able to come out and send him off right..." Nodding, he looked to the others, stopping with Gage. He got more of his smile back some how, unable to explain it. He just felt so alive, so present and clear. It was unreal. Like he'd been asleep since they broke up and now, here and now, he just woke back up.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan followed Tommy's glance to the van parked down the lane and scrunched up her face in disgust. "You didn't know if you could get the day off? Who the fuck does she think she is, Jesus?" If Tommy hadn't have come, and they would have been without a guitarist, Rowan doesn't know what she would think. If some stupid bitch who got hired as his manager for some ungodly reason decided that something else was more important than this funeral, she probably would have killed someone. She would not have this kid's dying wish blow up because of a stupid bitch with an agenda.


She watched her ex-bandmate glance towards the others, Sedgewick and Gage, before they made eye contact again. She fiddled with the neck of her bass and shrugged her empty shoulder. "Yeah, I guess. We stayed at my parents house for a couple of days, and they were cool with it, so that was nice. Nico, that's his name, said that my couch was more comfortable than his bed back home, so I guess that's something." She grinned a little bit and glanced towards Nico who had walked back towards the car to get something. "He's not my guy, though. We're not dating." Rowan looked back up from her bass to Tommy. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea."


- - - - - - - - - - - -


Gage smiled, lips closed, to Sedgewick and glanced back towards Rowan and Tommy and then back at Sedgewick. "I want to fix things, but I don't think it's that easy. God, if only it was. I can only go part-way, you know? Not everything was my fault." He shrugged and leaned over grabbing his mic cord from his bag and plugged it back into the electrical socket. He squared his shoulders and cracked his back.


If they actually wanted to work together as a group again, ever, they would have to work things out. He hoped that they could find and figure out some kind of semblance to at least be friends, because honestly, he had missed the camaraderie. It was lonely playing music alone, and while Gage had friends aside from them, they weren't as musically inclined.


"I just want this to be a good show," Gage admitted. "I want to prove that, as a band, we might not have worked out, but as people, we can come together for anything. It'll give the media something else to pay attention to aside from boy bands and pop stars. Give 'em a real show."

 

[Crazycake]

Axel had to laugh at the girls reaction. Fact was, he'd only mentioned it on a last minute sort of deal, just to watch the chick squirm. He took an unnatural delight in torturing managers; and this one was taking a little bit longer to crack. Still, he wound it suspicious on how quickly she was able to pencil in this little stop off. Almost eager somehow. . .


Placing a inked up hand on his art filled bare chest, Axel's face acquired a mildly shocked expression. " I didn't know yea cared, Row..." Some how, the way his lips and tongue moved made her name sound like a dirty word as that face of his shifted back to the sly grin, his eyes shifting to his guitar. The would be cage fighter, moved his fingers back to the guitars fret board, shifting them through the whole tone scale to loosen up a bit. " How are your rents anyway??" trying to not show too much interest, his fingers slipped up in their movements, subconsciously showing that in his heart, he actually wanted to know. It was strange, though, seeing how he'd never truly had parents himself, he sort of latched on to others.


When Sedgewick's Dad committed suicide, it was a definite, deep down, wound. Especially since it seemed shrouded in mystery, like they tried to cover it up. Tommy had been there for Wick and his mother as much as possible; but still wasn't completely sure what had happened. Shaking off the thoughts of such a dark- low- time in their lives, Axel exhaled slowly, glancing back at Sedgewick... and Gage. Lots of emotions where raging, but he forced himself to keep it down. He'd known it was going to be like this. That alone moment on stage, just the four of them.


Made him kindddddda sick actually...


-----------------------------------------


Sedgewicks ears perked up as Gage came out and actually referred to possibly fixing things. It almost felt like some kind of forbidden phrase; a curse that you where not supposed to utter. He stared at Gage as he stretched and did mic stuff, not really putting two and two together, but more trying to process what the guy was saying. Did he want to get the band back together? Was- was that even a possibility?


The dreaded drummer had thought about that fact so much, he'd been positive that the group was a dream he'd had at some point. That Graphic Generation was some other group which had been made up. Managing to come back to earth, Wick sat down in his drummers stool, spinning around a bit. " It's going to be an amazing show.... in fact, I'm going to say it's going to be just what we needed." Nodding he tossed one of his sticks high up into the air, flipping the other around his hand before extending his free arm up, catching the flung music utensil. " I think Fred is here watching us right now. He never gave up hope..."


Smiling, the starry eyed musician laughed lightly, seeing that Tommy and Rowan where actually- sort of talking. That made him both uneasy, and happy, since it was sort of like seeing a stick of dynamite being tossed over a fire. Though Sedgewick was probably the furthest one away from the blast radius, he still felt the effects. Looking back to Gage, he felt the urge to ask him about his rehab. It'd been itching at him since the man showed up, but that kind of topic was a real downer.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan snorted in response and shook her head before looking down at her bass. "Don't start thinking I give a shit what you think, Tommy, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea." She hit a few notes and tuned the end of the bass's neck and then looked back up towards the guitarist. Their relationship had always had a catty edge to it, so she didn't feel so bad about being bitchy, but considering they hadn't spoke before they officially ended the band, she didn't know if she was out of line.


She knew that all of their families were basically one at one point, so it didn't seem weird that he would inquire about her parents. After years of mending her relationship with them and them understanding her successes, they were closer than they have ever been before. "They're good. They've been nice since the band broke up especially, and that's helped a lot." She tightened the strap to her bass and let go, letting it dangle from her shoulder and neck. It had taken a long time for her parents to come to terms with the fact that she didn't want them around her, but they did after a while. It was easy to cast them aside once they kicked her out for joining the beginnings of Graphic Generation, but ever since the break up they had been more supportive than she ever imagined. She was almost ready to forgive them.


"I got a job working with Rage Against the Machine a couple months after the break up was public, and I called to tell them, and they didn't sound disappointed like they did when we started Gen. They even called me when Rolling Stone came out with the issue that had our break-up article and apologized to me, saying they wished it would have worked out. Really freaked me out, honestly, since they hated the band for a long time."


Rowan's relationship with her parents was rocky, but she had been mending it for the last six years. Graphic Generation got big right before she turned 19, so before then they thought that she was just being stupid. Since they kicked her out when she was sixteen, and she had to slept on her friend Melanie's house for a couple months until she turned 17, it was hard to let it go. Parents were supportive, and they weren't, even if they were trying to make up for it now.


"So," she said after a long moment, and she grabbed the neck of her bass before checking her G and C strings. "What's up with the whole Axel thing? I get that you wanted a new identity and whatever, but why the name? And I hope that you don't expect me to call you it, because that won't be happening. You've been Tommy since we met, and I'm not going to change that."


- - - - - - - - - - - -


"If Fred never gave up hope, why did we?" Gage frowned a bit and tapped on the microphone twice, checking to make sure it was coming through the speakers. It was almost time for the funeral procession to arrive, and it seemed like most of them were just about ready. "I mean, seriously. If some kid that met us once or twice thought that we were perfect for each other and had this bright future, how in the world did we fail?" He sighed and rubbed his forefinger under his nose. It might have been Arizona, but it was still chilly for this time of year.


Gage wasn't someone that liked to dwell on things, and he rarely had second thoughts, but he couldn't help but regret the way they ended things. It was a bad break-up. Worse than the 2006 break-up of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. With all of the publicity, it made each of them seem like the reason for everything to go down the drain. Rowan was pregnant with some guy's baby; Sedgewick was caught selling Mary Jane to some kids; Tommy was accused of getting into a giant bar fight and getting arrested; Gage was a drug addict and needed to go to rehab. Sadly, one of those was actually true, and it took a while for the media to let the story of Gage's drug abuse go.


"If I don't get anything else out of today, I just want to make sure everyone knows that I'm sorry. About... you know." It was hard for Gage to bring up the past, especially when it included him spiralling out of control. "I know that I could have stopped it, or gotten help before it got so bad, but it's so hard to admit that you have a problem." He frowned and walked over to grab a mic stand. He attached his microphone inside and turned back to face Sedgewick. "I didn't know it had gotten so bad until it was too late." He stared at him for a moment and then looked away, remembering his overdose. It was a close call, and he could have died, but they were there to save him one last time. Weeks later Graphic Generation was over. "I didn't mean to break up the band. That was the last thing I wanted."

 

[Crazycake]

" Pish, my idea's are always wrong..." Acquiring a glum expression, he nodded, looking down. For a moment it almost looked as if she'd casted the first strike. Then the frown opened up, as he stuck his tongue towards the bassist, shaking his head with a smirk. He liked the bit of back and forth. He'd almost missed that. The snarky remarks and clever retorts. It was a good relationship quality he'd been looking for a long time. Probably what hooked him in.


The news about her parents caused his eyes to open a bit wider as he nodded slowly. He could always remember them just dispising the band. He was never sure if it was the guys or the idea or the whole ' Your throwing your life away for NOTHING!!" idea. Then they hit it big and all Tom could do was laughhhhh and laugghhh. He was inherently pissed at them for what they'd done, but it was mostly through Rowan that he developed a grudge. Simply because he was closer to her then them; got your teams back above all- You vs Them vs The world. Axel chuckled at his last thought knowing it was a crock of shit.


"Sounds tough. Rough. ' Axel'll fuck you up!' type of thing. That's what the manager at the time said."He shrugged and clicked his tongue, he looked out over the head stones, at the small group of people. Some looked excited, others bored, many with too many tears in their eyes to look like anything other then heartbroken. Then there was the disgusted people. Mostly the old ones, probably checking out a plot for themselves soon enough. Axel smiled and had to laugh, before turning back to the woman. " Names don't really matter much to a bastard like me, any way." He bit his bottom lip and held a set of absolutely genuine, sorrow filled eyes- not manufactured by any acting lessons he'd acquired with his time in the business. Which was rather difficult, since the current choreographer usually looked like the wolf that was about to tear your throat out. " This might as well be a funeral for Tommy too, since no one even knows me by that name anymore. Just you guys really. Annnnd after today... well..." Closing his eyes he smiled again, shrugging and turning back to the front.


--------------------------------


Sedgewick flinched, as scenes from that day flashed through his mind. His vision seemed to fuzz over, as he lifted a hand up over his mouth. He stared at nothing a moment, then closed his eyes, shaking his head. That day was so bad. So incredibly bad. It was one of those terrible moments, the no one else could ever fully know about, unless they had been there. There had been good times with just the four, but some how that one bad just.....


Wick took his hand away and rocked forward then back, sighing as he reopened his striking gaze, looking to Gage with determination in his eyes. " It was not.All.You.Gage. We all did our part. With unneeded help from the media...." His vision slowly wondered, over to the two near the front as his jaw clenched. " We all have that one thing that gets at us. No matter how prepared or strong we are, there's a trigger. We just.... deteriorated. It was like a big, bright explosion. Just amazing. Unbelievable. But a fire can go out. It's not an immortal thing. Even if it felt..... " He took in a deep breath, slowly letting the air move outward. He turned back to the vocalist, his expression more somber now. " Felt like forever."


Shrugging, he noticed he'd been twirling his sticks almost the entire time he'd been talking. The drums really had a hold on him, he'd been neglecting them for far too long. Sedgewick hadn't gone near the damn things ever since the official break up. That was a harsh sudden drop to take, since music had always helped him. But he just couldn't. He didn't know the language anymore. It was taken away with the band. The guy couldn't even tap his fingers without it feeling wrong. In a way, sitting there was torture. Though he couldn't resist the call. To play again, to be on stage, mess with the sound guys, see his friends. For Fred.

 

[kindaemissary]

"People aren't going to forget who you were," Rowan said after a moment of watching Tommy. She understood why it was something that worried him because a lot of the time she thought about all the people that had probably already forgotten about Graphic Generation. Their fans were dedicated, but people can only be dedicated for so long. Without the hope that the band would ever get back together, it was most likely more than difficult to stay open-minded about GG's destiny in the music world. Rowan never thought that they would get back together, and she was glad for that, but she regretted the band disbanding a lot of the time. She had a great aside from the gigs and shows, but she missed the stage. She missed hearing her name from the crowd.


Rowan glanced towards the other side of the stage and noticed the seriousness affecting both Sedgewick and Gage, but she turned away before either of them caught her looking. "We both have careers that are booming in all the right ways, and even if people don't know what you used to go by, they're still going to know you." She looked at Tommy and tried to give him a optimistic smile. She was never good at looking at the bright side of things, but she was trying.


"The funeral procession is going to be here soon," she said after a moment. "We need to be ready before they get here so they can have the service and then the concert. I hope you told your little groupies that this is a serious affair." She gave him a look of disappointment. She still didn't know why he brought some stupid girls with him, even if Sedgewick said it was probably his own way of grieving. Rowan headed up stage and set her amp next to her place on the stage. "I'm assuming we're keeping the same line-up?" she asked, and she turned her head towards Gage and Sedgewick. Gage nodded after a moment and Rowan nodded herself, turning back towards the front of the stage. This had to be the perfect show. Everything had to be perfect. She wasn't going to let one of these dipshits ruin Freddy's funeral no matter what.


- - - - - - - - - - - -


Gage knew what Sedgewick was saying was true. He had tried telling himself that a lot, and for a while he believed it, but sometimes it was very hard to trust that the world falling around you wasn't because you were the one who fucked up. Rehab had helped him develop into a more confident person, and group therapy showed him that nothing is entirely at the fault of one person, but it was difficult when everyone else blamed him. The media did and sometimes he felt the band did, and he couldn't let it go. He wanted to fix things even if it wasn't his fault in the slightest. He was clean now, and he wanted things to change.


"I don't know what I want, or what I want to come of my life, but I do know that I want to fix things. Even if it's only with the band, that's okay. I just want everyone to know that I'm not here because my sponsor told me to. I need to move past this stage of my life, and I can't do that knowing people are still mad at me." He stopped talking for a moment and looked over towards Rowan, who had said something from across the stage. The line-up? Why would they change it? He nodded towards her and watched her until she glanced away. He could feel the tension but didn't comment on it.


He looked back towards Sedgewick and turned his microphone on, tapping it twice before shutting it off. "Looks like we're about ready," he said, and he moved his mic stand to the center of the stage. He tended to move around during concerts, but this wasn't a tour. This was a funeral. He fixed the creased sleeve on his left arm and ran his hand over his mouth. He wanted to get this over with, and on the other hand he never wanted it to end.

 

[Crazycake]

Axel met the girls smile with cold eyes. The guitarist glared right through that optimism like a forest fire across a dried up meadow. He wanted her to know that Tommy was gone. He left with the band a long time ago. The tattooed male wanted them all to know, that Tommy Winston- the unwanted son of, who the hell even gives a shit, was dead and gone. That reason, among all the rest, was why Graphic Generation was really finished. In the end though, that didn't matter since in a few hours, they were all going their separate ways.


Seeing the look change to disappointment, made the male sigh, putting his smiley 'mask' back on to play nice for the show. For Fred the ULTRA MEGA FAN. " Yeahhh they know, they know. They're fans supposedly. Oh GG and Fred. Well more jealous that Fred seemed to be favored by us or whatever. One reallllllly fancies you, though, Row..." Winking at one of the three, the woman seemed to perk up from the gloomy state they had been in, looking over at Rowan with big eyes.


Laughing lightly, Axel glanced back at the other two, getting a sort of dark vibe. The guitarist shook it off as quick as he could, not wanting to dampen his performance with intrusive thoughts. Moving into position, he loosened up a bit, making sure he was prepared for a trip down memory alley.


-------


Sedgewick could feel the determination in Gage's voice. It made him feel inspired, made him feel like he would take on that crowd. Looking to the blond haired woman, he blinked, almost wondering if she and Tommy had forgotten about the other half of the band. He gave her a big smile, rocking his head back and forth in a miniature flurry of dreadlocks. That smile would stay on for a while, now that the show was almost on the way.


" Well, I'm convinced. And I never was mad so you get a free pass with me, haha" Nodding to a tune in his head, the lad stood up and bowed to Gage as he moved to his spot; front and center. Sedgewick took a moment to look from person to person feeling something in his chest. He wanted to cry, but damned himself if he did. Sitting back down on his throne among the drum fortress, he set his sticks down and let out a breath, getting into the zone. He thought of Fred, his smile, how he knew all the lyrics by heart, his awful 'GG' tattoo, saying how he was a better guitar player then Tommy, getting a kiss on each cheek from Rowan and Sedgewick, almost feinting when Gage showed him an old tour book- just random dumb things.


The drummer had a hard time letting go of those times. But they were gone now. " Guess we'll never make that side project, with the accordion and bag pipes, yea goof...." Looking up into the sky, Wick kept his smile as bright as he could, making sure not to cry, not until the show was over.

 

[kindaemissary]

Soon, the funeral procession had arrived, and all of the band members were in their dignified places. Rowan could spot Fred's parents in the crowd of people. She had met them a few times and had even been to their house one night after they brought Fred back from a show. They were always very supportive of the band and were glad that Freddy had found something he was so happy with, even if it was just being a tag-a-long member of Graphic Generation when they were back in AZ.


The funeral lasted longer than Rowan would have liked, but as soon as Freddy was placed into the earth, and she stopped watching people throw flowers onto his black casket, she saw the cue to begin. After a few beats from her and Sedgewick, Tommy started playing and moments later Gage started to sing. She watched him from her side of the stage strummed along as the song progressed. She was worried about him, even though she didn't want to admit it. After the three of them pulled him out of what could have been his death bed, she was terrified of being around him. If she had to go through something so scary as an overdose ever again, she might just leave the music business.


They stopped talking years ago, and she had no idea that Gage was doing alright. He was healthy, clean, and getting into the song more than he thought he would before getting there. The music was pulsing throughout his entire being and he held his head high, knowing that this could be his last show.


If things turned out how he thought they would, none of this would have been happening. They'd be yet another North American tour, this time stopped in Southern California for a week of sun in the middle of winter. If everything went to plan, all of them would be friends and bandmates and Gage never would have broken his leg in the first place. Would have never discovered the beauty of oxycontin or heroin. He'd be great just like he was before. Everything would be perfect.


He stayed in the moment as long as he could and allowed himself to sing with his entire heart. His world had already crumbled around him once, and he was scared to have this moment end. He didn't want to go through that kind of devastation again, even though it was going to happen no matter what. He looked over to stage left and made eye contact with Rowan. The glance was short but lasted a lifetime.


As the song started to end and Gage's voice died out, he held himself together so that he wouldn't cry. He wasn't doing this for Freddy - not really. He was doing this for Freddy's friends and family, Freddy's parents who stood together in front of the stage, and the rest of the world who lost a wonderful too soon. He always knew that funerals were for the living and not the dead, but this one felt like it was more for Graphic Generation than anything; it felt like Freddy was pulling them together even if it was just for one day, and Gage couldn't be happier.

 

[Crazycake]

"And that's when I knew. I swear, it felt like the first and last day of a tour. Chills ran up my spine, goosebumps, ears ringing from the sound. I could feel my heart just, pounding, yea know? It was such a good set up, I couldn't look away. The sound was amazing, but how they moved and interacted, that was it. You could see a story unfolding, or.... something. I don't know, I just really hope they do an encore!!" - Freddy Kramer- Battle for the Block- Phoenix '09


Everyone swayed. It was even possible some of the dead did as well. The song was great, but the performance, these four people, even after all the years and the fights and the hardships. They managed to bring it back, with the mending of one diehard fan. It was almost easy for them to assume these roles, the band. Because it wasn't just Gage, the vocalist- wasn't just Sedgewick the Drummer- Rowan the bassist or Tomxel the guitarist. This was Graphic Generation. Soon as the stage lights up, and the tune begins, they where charges of the music. The people could see it. They were entertained. The few fans; close friends of Freds and one of Axels chicks; couldn't stop smiling through the tears. Even the older, colder, wrenched with sorrow members of the procession, found a moment of comfort and satisfaction as the song came to a close.


There was silence for a moment. Then a single clap came from a toddler in the group. Everyone seemed to snap towards the sudden sound, though seeing the origin, a mother hushed the child and the group proceeded to give their condolences to the parents of the deceased and began heading home. The three women that had arrived with Axel returned to the van, where a woman in a grey business dress leaned against the vehicle. She had short, straight, blond hair and red horned glasses. The manager. She certainly looked like the cold, stuck up, type, though her face held the slightest smile to it. She nodded to Axel, as the guitarist let out a sigh, setting his guitar on the rack and picking up the 1984 Explorer EX that had been set in front of him the entire time. His guitar through the beginning and the end. His Mjölnir , Excaliber, Axe.


Glancing at the others, he'd done rather well keeping the water works at bay, but it was now that one slid down to his jaw. His brow folded slightly, though he did not show much other emotion. The male jumped down off the stage, managing to land alright, before standing up and presenting the guitar to Fredricks Parents. " He always fancied it, so I thought to bring it... as a gift." Trying to smile, he wiped some more tears away, turning back to the stage.

 

[kindaemissary]

Gage watched as Tommy moved downstage and handed Freddy's parents his guitar. This was the guitar that Tommy brought with him on both of their North American tours as the headliner, the three times they were an opening act, and to the studio to record their three studio albums. That guitar was his lifeline, and Gage didn't know how to react. Freddy's parents held the guitar together and sniffled through their tears, but Gage was so overwhelmed with emotion that nothing was happening. If Tommy was giving away his guitar, even if it was to the parents of their most beloved fan, Graphic Generation had to be over. There was no going back. They all knew that.


His heart was stuck in his throat and after a moment of the crowd's silence, the music started back up again to something slower and more appropriate for the occasion.



started playing and once again the vibe of the funeral was more of happiness than loss. Funerals weren't supposed to be happy occasions, but it was better knowing that they were doing this for Freddy and that he was probably watching them with a stupid little grin on his face.
Rowan got back into the music easily, ready to not let her emotions get to her. She could see Nico in the small gathered crowd and she smiled to him. It was easier on focusing on the good times than the realistic problems of the world such as death. Freddy was dead and the entire world around him kept moving. It was sad, but Rowan knew it was true.

 

[Crazycake]

Sedgewick was balling his eyes out, managing to keep his accuracy up through muscle memory alone. He didn't fully understand how he could remember the timing and the change-ups, it was as if he just let it go and it took it's own way. It felt amazing to play again, with these people that made it all click. Even as Tommy relinquished his prized guitar to the grieving family, all he could think of was all the crazy stories that axe had to go along with it.


He smiled at the mohawked male, as he made his way back to the stage, picking up another guitar for the next song to take place. Tommy took a deep breath, getting prepped for the next song, trying his best not to look at the other members of the band. He knew it was going to be hard, but the amount of feelings was starting to get at him. Still, he played on.

 

[kindaemissary]

Rowan knew that this momentary sense of overwhelmed emotion would pass as soon as the set concluded, and it made her more upset the longer she thought about it. If this was something that made her so immensely happy, why did she want it to end so soon? The world used to revolve around her music and the way she put herself in the middle of everything, and now it felt like she was sitting on the sidelines. She was watching people do the same things she used to without her, and as much as she loved everything that had to do with managing and being on a boundless amount of tours, it wasn't the same as feeling the music come from her own body and her own heart. This feeling would not last as long as it needed to, and at the same time, was taking more time than Rowan ever imagined it would. She could feel the music flowing from her fingers and felt the immense heartache she did when reliving the past.


At the center of the stage, Gage let the chords rip through his throat and take over his voice. There was nothing more powerful than a ballad of sorts, and for Freddy he would sing anything. There was a lot of tense on the stage and in the audience, but by the way Freddy's family were watching them he felt like the most powerful man in the world. He wanted this to be something pleasant that they could remember for the rest of their lives, and so far it was working out. Their faces might have been streaked with tears, but their eyes were full of hope.