Fantasy I Was Fine Until You

[Officer Newt]

It didn't take long before Gaheris was opening the door. Agravain and Caleb's footsteps fading into the background and Gavin was given a moment to relax. Smiling at her brother and forcing away any previous anger that had lingered. "I can't surprise you? " She said teasingly. Before shaking her head. Telling him. "I'll only be here until tomorrow. I had... Heard Lance was staying here and couldn't help being a bit worried. " She murmured quietly. Moving forward as to pull him into a hug. "You doing okay? " Concern clear in her voice. Him being here with Agravain worried her. He had gone threw a lot! Perhaps it would have been better if he stayed at the castle with her. But such was a subject for a later time. Straightening herself out and looking up at Gaheris.

Gavin then moved to slip into his room. the hallway was fine. But she didn't really want others to listen in on them. Even if they weren't discussing anything bad! The privacy was nice. She then couldn't help but huff. "How did you handle Lance throughout your travels? He's such a arrogant *ss. He was trying to join me and Gabriel for breakfast. " She complained. Her mind going to the kiss. And sure, They had those intimate moments. But she did not want him anywhere near her child! She didn't want to risk Gabriel thinking of him as a friend. She then continued. "You know the king asked him to escort me here. Like I get it, The mans busy. But that just... " She simply shook her head at the thought. Malia was in labor. He probable didn't want to waste anymore time with them. But such seemed a terrible idea. Lance and Gavin shouldn't even be allowed near each other!

Gavin probable shouldn't just complain. Gaheris didn't need that. Still, It was hard not to think about that. Why was he so heavy on her mind? It wasn't even the anger that she kept thinking of. No, It was a strange longing that she did not understand. She then mumbled. "I'm trying to figure out a way to get him out of this house. Or you and Gareth moved. But Its not been going to well. So I'm afraid you'll need to suffer with him for a bit. " She wasn't going to be able to convince Lance, Certainly not Agravain. So she might need to try and figure out a way to talk the king into helping her.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris managed a small smile at her teasing but it was short lived. The mention of Lance of course brought the mood down but well he did seem to be a main topic of conversation these days. ”Lance is only half of my problems” he told Gavin, the rest was Agravain and Gareth and Caleb. Actually maybe Lance wasn’t even half! But a lot of problems stemmed from him so he was willing to give Lance a lot of the blame.

“I didn’t have much choice” he replied. “Gawain forced me to go with him and he was a nightmare the whole trip. He’s so bossy and honestly such a hypocrite” he complained. Lance had forced him to stay away from Ruth somewhat, pushed him in with Vere and well, told him he couldn’t be pursuing women when he’d been sleeping with the princess! It was nice having some blackmail material on him though, but he knew he had to be careful. He’d gotten his knighthood, he didn’t want to push things too far, especially since Lance wouldn’t be able to grant him as much as Arthur or Caroline.

Lance was often at the forefront of his mind, but not in the same way as Gavin. No, she needed to get her affairs in order because her and Lance couldn’t be having these feelings about each other. “Suffering seems to be my thing” he replied. “But mostly I’m doing my best to avoid Lance and Agravain” he admitted. “I’d rather hang out with Ruth than them” which was true, she didn’t look down on him as much, and wasn’t a threat like Lance. “I don’t see why she hangs out with him either. He claims To look after her because she’s a slave but he has his own! A redhead chick. She was expensive too. i think he’s only got one thing on his mind and you can guess what that is!” Like with the princess, Lance was a skirt chaser in his opinion. Gaheris really couldn’t judge though. “I wouldn’t even be surprised if he tried it on with you” Gaheris muttered, although that wasn’t true, he would be surprised at the sheer audacity and stupidity of it. At least he knew that Gavin would reject him though, right?

 

[Officer Newt]

It seemed if there was one thing Gaheris and Gavin could bond over, It was the two's distaste in Lance. She couldn't help but tense up as Gaheris talked. Lance had a slave? She knew the man must be horrid but that even more confirmed her feelings. Gritting her teeth. She was just about to make some kind of comment on such. When Gaheris's last words caught her by surprise. Her cheeks instantly heated up and it was hard to keep herself from reacting. . "I- " Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of the door knocking. Causing her to jump a bit in surprise. But it was a distraction away from the subject of Lance. D*mn that man! Why was he so stuck in her mind?

Getting up, She walked towards the door and carefully opened it. And well, It seemed the knight had come to see her. Great. Couldn't he have waited until after she had finished talking to Gaheris? The man stood there with a wide grin on his face. Telling her. "Hello My dear, I just wanted to check and make sure you're doing okay? " Gavin tried not to sigh. Simply smiled back at him and murmured. "Oh yes, Me and my brother were just having a bit of a private conversation." A subtle hint for the man to leave. The knights gaze briefly moved to Gaheris. But he clearly didn't seem to care to much about him. Instead soon focused back on Gavin.

Smiling. "I see, Well, Are you almost done talking to him? I was hoping to walk you to your room. " Her room was literally next to Gaheris. So it wasn't much of a walk and Gavin couldn't help but raise her eyebrow. Yeah, She wasn't impressed. She though politely shook her head. "Don't worry, I have Gaheris here to protect me. I suppose I'll see you downstairs later for dinner? " She suggested. Hopefully that would get him out of her hair for a few hours.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris saw her blush but just figured it was from the topic at hand, he guessed it wasn’t the most polite and it’s not something he really talked to Gavin about so he had no idea what her base reaction would be. It wasn’t Lance they had to worry about right now though, it was the other knight and he was definitely trying to make moves on Gavin. Gaheris frowned at the knight, not enjoying the way he called Gavin ‘my dear’ or clearly had a one track mind on Gavin. Who was this clown? Gaheris automatically didn’t like him which wasn’t a surprise but was perhaps a little justified.

Gaheris moved forward towards the door. “And she doesn’t need you to escort her to dinner either” Gaheris added, he could take her if she wanted but she could probably make it by herself. He went to shut the door in the knight’s face without so much as a goodbye and turned to look at Gavin with a questioning expression. “Did you really need to bring him here?” He asked, because the knight certainly hadn’t been invited by Agravain and well, he supposed he could be one of Lance’s friends but he didn’t really recognise him as such.

”I don’t like him” Gaheris told her, at least he was honest, if a bit blunt. And Gaheris didn't like a lot of people but that knight seemed annoying and was flirting with his recently widowed sister. “Also, you can do better” he told her although he wasn’t sure she was in the marker for another husband, it wasn’t the sort of thing he got involved in, that Was more Gawain and Agravain’s job although he guessed Gavin wouldn’t trust them anymore to make such a decision and neither would Gaheris so maybe he should get involved.

 

[Officer Newt]

The knight had been ready to say something else. But Gaheris was making his presence known and rather suddenly slamming the door. No doubt surprising the man on the other side. Gavin couldn't help but be glad for him being out of her hair. Still, Gaheris couldn't go around slamming doors in people's faces. So she then said. "Gaheris that was very rude. " But she was smiling fondly and there was no bite in her words. She then shook her head. Murmuring. "I didn't feel safe traveling with Lance, And I'm not to eager to keep Agravain's company. So he's to escort me back to the castle tomorrow. " She explained. Even if Gavin didn't plan on running. The king would want someone to watch her just in case. Or maybe give the appearance they were keeping her contained.

She then let out a heavy sigh at his words. "You don't need to worry about him. I'm not so eager to remarry anytime soon. " She missed her husband. She didn't want to move on. Lance... Was nice company. Helped her forget a bit. But no one could replace the man she had lost. Maybe eventually she'd feel ready to court others. Being married would only benefit her if she picked the right man. But she couldn't bring herself to do that. Gavin then said. "Besides, That man doesn't want to properly court me. He just wants me in his bed for a night. " Probable so he could brag. He was a pest and Gavin was not fooled by his behaviors.

Gavin then tilted her head to the side. Looking at Gaheris before a grin formed on her face. "But... Speaking of courting. Your a knight now. A proper knight in shining armor! Have you got any girls you're fancying? You seem to be friends with that Ruth girl? Hmm? " Okay, She might not be willing to marry anytime soon. But she was totally happy to get herself involved in Gaheris's love life. She figured he was still a bit too young for proper marriage. But she was sure he had plenty of crushes she could perhaps help him with.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Mixed messages much, she was saying it was rude but smiling at him! He grinned back at her though, glad that he overall had her approval. “I could escort you” Gaheris murmured although the knight would have to go back to the castle at some point so he might as well accompany Gavin. They could both go though, just so Gaheris could make sure that the other knight felt unwelcome and Uncomfortable. At least Gavin was confirming that she wasn’t interested in the knight, that she wouldn’t accept his advances. That did relax Gaheris a bit.

He scrunched his nose in disgust as Gavin didnt really sugarcoat what the knight wanted, and he knew that he’d mentioned such a thing with Lance but it felt weird his sister talking about it, and in regards to herself. Well, she didn’t actually say she wouldn’t go for him, just that she didn’t want to remarry, but he figured Gavin wasn’t interested. Gavin was soon turning the conversation to him though which….he wasn’t sure he was eager about. And oh, she was talking about Ruth, that was even more awkward.

“Ruth doesn’t like me” he told Gavin. “She should hate me” he admitted although he wasn’t sure he should go into the reasons why, he knew Gavin would disagree, but Lance had been very taxing on him! ”Ive been away for ages, she’s the only girl I’ve really interacted with for ages, except Caroline” and he had tried to make a move on Caroline as well. He had tried hitting in girls before he’d been taken but never with much luck. “i mean….she’s alright” he confessed. “Not the prettiest and she can be annoying but….she’s nice sometimes” well Ruth was nice most of the time, he just was too busy scaring her to receive it. “We had a snowball fight, and she always seems to want to reassure me, even though I’ve not been great to her” She’d been there for him when Loth had died snd when talking about Morgan and she’d come after him yesterday when he’d been upset with Agravain.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin raised her eyebrow and listened quietly to him talk. She then hummed in thought. "Well, It sounds to me like she likes you. " She had played with him, Tried to comfort him. Gaheris could be a difficult boy to get along with though. Gavin then murmured gently. "Do you like her? " She questioned. He didn't speak many compliments of her, But Ruth seemed to be one of the few people there for him when he needed them. Even if Gaheris terrified her.

Gavin then smiled at Gaheris, Nudging him. "Those who stand with you at your lowest, Are some of the most valuable people you can have in your life. " Her eyes thoughtful and a small smile on her face. "Even if you don't like her like that. It sounds like she's a good friend. " She then reached up and ruffled his hair. Though such might annoy Gaheris a bit. She then glanced towards the door. Seeming to be thinking. Before her gaze went back to Gaheris.

Gavin then told him gently. "You know you haven't been great to her. Maybe you can start being a bit better? " It could do Gaheris some good. She then mused. "It could make you feel better yourself. You said you had a snowball fight? Maybe you could think of a good game around here to play. " Give Gaheris a chance to relax and be a kid. He was only a teenager, Had been threw a lot. A few games could do him good. Gavin then grinned. "I'd join in if you can think up something fun. " She urged.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris was not so sure, Ruth had no reason to like him and definitely shouldn’t. It really made no sense that Ruth might have any sort of fondness for him. And then Gavin was asking a difficult question: did Gaheris like her? He didn’t really like many people and he wasn’t used to having friends so it was hard to judge. He found her annoying and stubborn but she could be nice and sometimes she was amusing. “She’s okay” he ventured. “I....I don’t hate her” he admitted which didn’t really sound like much but sometimes he really acted like he did hate her.

Gaheris was too caught up in considering the conversation to be annoyed by Gavin ruffling his hair; she was giving him a lot to think about. He could be nice to Ruth, wasn’t that a thought. Except Was Gaheris capable of being nice? Of course he was! He just didn’t do it often. He wasn’t sure it would make himself feel better like Gavin suggested and He wasn’t a kid so should he be playing Games? But he had to admit that doing something a bit silly might make him feel better after all the stress he’d been through, and Ruth was little bit younger than him so you know, they could play a game for her sake. He seemed surprised that Gavin might join in though.

”it’s not like we can have another snowball fight” there was no snow after all, but that had also been spontaneous and Ruth’s idea, it felt harder from this side to pick something preplanned. “We could have a water fight though“ he said with a shrug, might be nice if the day got a bit hot as well. They could Chuck sponges and buckets of water at each other. It might be difficult for Gaheris to play though, bring up some painful memories, because Gwyn had always been his main play partner. They’d just have to see how he got on and if he started crying? Well, Ruth might be able to win this time!

 

[Officer Newt]

Gaheris could use some friends. Gavin knew that very well, And atleast he was relenting that he didn't hate her. Progress! And he seemed interested in a game. Causing Gavin to grin at him. Musing. "Sounds like fun. Perhaps we can see about playing later today? " She prompted. Though that might be a bit too much to fast. Gavin then looked at Gaheris thoughtfully. He'd perhaps been the closest out of all of them to Gwen. As a child, Gavin could often remember the two running off together to get into trouble. Perhaps some new companionship would do Gaheris some good? Gavin knew plenty of nobility. Could probable introduce him to some folks his own age. But she wasn't sure how well such would go down.

No, Gavin figured it best to take things slow. She'd be here for Gaheris if he needed someone. For now, She'd just encourage him to get along with those he already knew. Her gaze then flickered away. Glancing to the window. Swallowing. Gavin then suddenly said. "Hey, Gaheris. I.. There are somethings I think you should know. I'm sure you're going to hear rumors about it at the castle. And... It might be best if you heard it from me. " She started. Her arrest. No doubt he'd heard a few things whispered. But she doubted Agravain had talked to him about it. Nor did she think anyone would directly tell him.

Gavin then looked to her brother. Telling him. "I was arrested for kidnapping Antonio. But... There was also other things they... Found alongside him. " She said, Weighing the best way to phrase things. In the end she let out a breath before saying. "I've been killing people for awhile. Only bad men. People who deserved it. " They had deserved what they got. Gavin regretted she couldn't continue such activities. "They thought due to their rank they could get away with it. I know I'm not a knight. I'll never be a knight. But someone had to deal with them. " He could understand that? Couldn't he, Gavin wasn't sure. She hoped he'd understand it. But that wasn't the only thing. Gavin debated revealing the last part of her crimes. Considered not mentioning it. But once more, Gavin knew there were rumors and would prefer such to come from her mouth then from another. "I... Those men were little more then pigs. They were prey. So... I treated them like prey. We're above them. I'm above them. So I ate them. "

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris and Ruth would probably need some time to clear the air between them; he’d terrorised her the whole journey here so it understandably might take Ruth some time to trust his intentions and be willing to let her guard down around him. It maybe felt a bit awkward that his sister was setting him up a playdate but hopefully it’d help smooth things over between them. And speaking of smoothing things over, Gavin seemed to want to explain her crimes in person.

He had been to the castle but well, again, he didn’t have friends so it’s not like anyone had directly told him anything and he hadn’t hung around long either so he had not heard a lot really. He watched his sister curiously as she revealed what she’d been up to. He was a bit shocked she’d been killing people, she had told him that she’d dealt with Gwen’s husband but that was one person, it seemed like she’d killed a lot. He didn’t question her judgement though. If Gavin said they were bad men then they were bad men. It was that simple. Obviously that wasn’t the biggest shock though, no, it turned out she’d been eating them. Gaheris frowned, face scrunching up in disgust and confusion. She said they were prey but he still thought it was pretty gross, and probably not the easiest either to make into a family dinner.

”That feels a little unnecessary“ Gaheris told her, which was honestly a pretty mild way to react. “I would’ve just disposed of them” He said. “Although I think the eating them is pretty gross, I don’t care about you killing those men” he admitted. “At least you actually protect people by getting rid of them. If anything, I’m proud” he shrugged. “Because you’re not a knight, but you’ve still managed to take down threats. Maybe I should’ve had you mentoring me, rather than Gawain” he murmured, yeah that might have been a bad idea. If Gaheris had been training under Gavin how might he have turned out? He might’ve been even more twisted, yet Gavin might also have taught him how to be more friendly and liked by others, that you catch my flies with honey than vinegar.

 

[Officer Newt]

Well, Gaheris did not seem too effected by the news. Didn't even react to much to her eating the men. How interesting. Gavin stared up at him. Smiling gently and informing him. "Perhaps it was. But it... Gave me a feeling of power over them. " They were animals and Gavin would treat their corpses like she would any other animal. She then drew her gaze away from him. He was proud. Gavin didn't know if that made her happy or not. It was certainly a different reaction then she expected. Gavin then told Gaheris. "Gawain is a good knight. But he's barely holding himself together. " Gawain did his best. But he was falling apart. Recently the cracks seemed to show more. Though Gavin supposed he had probable taught Gaheris well.

Gavin then seemed to consider Gaheris. Looking him over in thought. Gavin then suddenly spoke. "You are not so old that I could not teach you a thing or two. I myself cannot do much. My hands are very much tied these days. But I've picked up a thing or two over the years. I could show you if you wish? " Gaheris knew how to use a sword, Sure. But Gavin knew how to get things done in a more... subtle way. She wasn't convinced though Gaheris would do well taking such a approach. He might be a bit too blunt for such things.

Gavin then frowned in thought before telling him. "If your interested. Take some time to consider the offer carefully. My methods are not noble. " She was then moving towards the door. Pausing only to give Gaheris a hug. Telling him softly. "For now, I'm going to go to my own room and get settled. " She didn't want a answer now. Would prefer for Gaheris to consider things carefully. So she was then moving towards the door and stepping outside.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris could understand wanting a feeling of power, it was what he often struggled with. Especially since Morgan had drugged him, taken away his power and autonomy, it had caused him to go into overdrive a bit, hence why he was such a nightmare and enjoyed terrorised Ruth and having been control of Kay briefly. Also, not to mention, that being squire up until recently, he’d not really been in control of his life, it had been up to Gawain really. Him and Agravain had basically planned out his life for him, he guessed in that way he could understand why Gareth had not been as eager to join them.

He was surprised by the offer from Gavin, but sort of pleased by it, that she was willing to help him out how she could. She seemed to do more than Gawain. He was intrigued but yeah, he should probably think about it. Subtle wasn’t really his Modus operandi. It might do him good to learn though. Gareth would be worried if he learned about this little collaboration between them though. “See you at dinner” he murmured, if he was even going. She’d given him a lot to think about and he guessed he didn’t really know what to do now that he was a knight, except maybe try to angle for a quest, he wasn’t sure such a request would be granted though.

Agravain would be worried if he found out about them talking like this. He had enough on his plate as it was and he was starting to think Gavin was a bad influence, not so much the killing, but the hating him, being ungrateful, all that. Gaheris didnt plan on telling him though, he was going to avoid his big brother as much as he could, he’d rather hang out with Gareth and Ruth!

(happy to skip to a bit later if you want. Whoever you want as well. Also I can totally see Arthur having nightmares triggered from seeing Silas whipped)

 

[Officer Newt]

Ooh, Maybe we could skip to later in the night? Like Arthur wakes up from a bad nightmare and Silas calms him down? Maybe that could lead to there first kiss? Like, Silas decides to drink a little with Arthur to help calm Arthur's nerves. Because its clear he isn't going to sleep after that nightmare. And then once there a bit tipsy it happens. Like, I don't think it would go any further then a kiss. But it could be a fun start to there relationship.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

(Yeah, I’ve got a bit of an idea about it. Like I think Arthur isn’t going to want to disturb him so he’s going to keep quiet about it but anyway…I’ll start and you’ll see. But yeah, I think that’s interesting, and I think Arthur’s going to feel so conflicted about the kiss because obviously he’ll be a bit drunk, and very emotionally tender and he feels it’s not right but he also definitely enjoys it snd the closeness he has with Silas. So yeah, I’ll start us off.)

Sleepless. Arthur wished he was sleepless. Caroline had since retired to her room, well, their room but it’s not like Arthur would be using it much in the near future, and so Silas and Arthur had also decided to head for bed. Silas’ bed was more than large enough for them to share, probably enough space for someone else too but Arthur still ended up quite close to Silas in his slumber. It wasn’t nearly as close as they’d been the previous night but Arthur had to watch out for Silas’ wounds. His wound. They haunted most of Arthur’s thoughts and certainly permeated his sleep. It wasn’t until late in the night though that they truly gripped Arthur.

Blood and screaming and tears. It was all he could hear and all he could see. Pain. Pain that he’d caused. Pain that he’d been helpless to stop. Silas, collapsed on the floor. Kay, collapsed on the ground. Scars from his mistakes and trauma he should’ve been able to prevent. And his selfishness bothered him too, the way his brain made the pain about him, about his guilt. It all led to a very troubled sleep.

Arthur awoke with a gasp, lurching up into a sitting position. The room was dark, dark enough for him to still see his dreams and to hide his face, but he could feel the tears on his cheek and the way his body was refusing to breathe properly. How dare he try to rest when the man next to him was scarred because he couldn’t help him. His chest felt tight. He’d been feeling that a lot lately, and he found the covers oppressing, heavy, claustrophobia seeping in where he’d never had it before. His moves were frantic as he clawed at the sheets, desperate to escape the trap of the bed and he tumbled onto The floor, knee hitting the ground hard before he forced himself to keep moving. He couldn’t wake Silas, he didn’t need to deal with him, he needed his sleep, Arthur was just being silly, a nuisance. He staggered towards the bathroom, still struggling to breathe and every breathe he did manage was painful.

The darkness was too much for him as well, made him feel even worse so he fumbled to light a candle, eager to have a little bit of light even if it meant he could see the state he was in. He couldn’t help but look in the mirror, see the tears still Streaming down his face and his chest constricted even more. He was a mess. He didn’t have the right to be this upset, but he felt so guilty, and he felt so alone. He hurt everyone he cared about and he couldn’t help anyone. He shouldn’t need anyone, and he didn't want to burden anyone so he just stared at his reflection and tried to calm down. It didn’t really work, he was soon falling To the floor, trying to brace himself a little against the wall, ending up sitting against the wall, hyperventilating. He leaned his head back, trying to help himself breathe and threw an arm over his eyes to try and dim the light which had now all of sudden become too bright, trying to keep his sobbing down and quiet so as not to wake Silas. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just act normally? He‘d already caused enough trouble. His attempts to calm himself down really weren’t helping, his mind kept flickering back to his guilt or horrible images of Silas hurt and bleeding, Kay helplessly bound and even Loth dead in the snow. He left a trail of destruction behind him.

 

[Officer Newt]

( This is gonna be fun! But poor Arthur! )

Silas had found himself easily sleeping deeply. The day had left him very much exhausted, Not to mention the medicine the medic had given him had only added to his tiredness. Thus he was fast asleep when Arthur first rose. Oblivious at first to the mans anguish. But the feeling of something nuzzling against his hand did rouse the young man. Grumbling as he blinked open his eyes. The first thing that registered in his mind in the dim light of his bedroom was his cheetah. Nuzzling against his hand. Yellow eyes seeming bright. The next thing he noticed. Was the feeling of emptiness next to him. Normally that wouldn't be unusual these days. Silas was about to brush such thoughts aside and fall back to sleep. Except... Hey, Wait, Where was Arthur?

That was enough to properly wake the man. Wincing as he carefully sat up. Glancing around the room and he soon figure out is location. The dim light coming from the bathroom was enough. Maybe he should just go back to sleep? But something felt wrong and worry twisted in his gut. So carefully he got to his feet. Thankful that the medics pain medicine had mostly numbed the pain. Though that didn't mean it was easy. As soon as he was up, His cheetah was then hopping into his bed. Taking advantage of the now empty bed to sprawl out on the bed.

Silas ignored her. Instead making his way to the bathroom and well... It wasn't hard to find Arthur. The sight made him pause. Taking it all in. "Arthur?" He started, Tone uncertain. But then he snapped into action. Moving forward and kneeling down in front of Arthur. Before reaching forward and aiming to yank Arthur into a hug. His arms going around him tightly. Finally speaking again. Tone calmer, Soft. "Hey... Arthur, Shh... You're okay, I'm here." And he'd stay here, As long as Arthur needed him to.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Arthur didn’t notice Silas enter the bathroom, too caught up in his flashbacks and nightmares, it was only once Silas spoke to him that he noticed the man. He flinched at the sound of his voice, panicked eyes darting to Silas, further dread and self-disgust filling him as he realised he’d woken the man and disturbed his sleep. Not only that but Silas had gotten up, his back must be killing him! And Arthur was causing him further pain by making him see what was going on. How selfish of him. And things only got worse for Arthur as Silas joined him on the floor for a hug. He didn’t hug Silas back, struggling to accept the comfort he offered but also hyper aware of the fact that touching Silas could hurt him even more.

Nightmares had never been the easiest for Arthur. They weren’t things he used to suffer with a lot, although his first hunting trip had caused quite a few. Malia was obviously one of the main sources of comfort in Arthur’s life and she had helped him through some nightmares when he was younger, but sometimes that wasn’t the case. Sometimes it was too bad to seek her out. He didn’t really like disturbing his parents’ sleep and nor did he want his father to think him silly or weak, being upset over something his mind had made up, but sometimes when he did want to seek his mother out, he hadn’t been able to leave his room. It was a bit castle and although he’d grown up in it, it could still be daunting to a kid, especially at night. Sometimes he used to open his door and just stand in the doorway, trying to gather the courage to step out into the dark hallways where the unknown lurked. More recently, his nightmares had become a bit more frequent, but also easier to deal with. It wasn’t too unusual for him to jolt awake, but this time he didn’t need to go far for comfort. He always did his best not to wake Caroline, and if he did, to insist she go back to sleep, that he just wanted a glass of water or something and that’s why he was up. But just sitting there and feeling her next to him, watching her sleep, it made it a little easier to breathe and relax. Sometimes he sat there for a while in the dark, just listening to her sleep, other times it allowed him to rest again pretty quickly. Now though? It hurt to look at Silas, and now he’d disturbed him so it was not calming Arthur down. He didn’t want to be a burden.

Arthur‘s crying escalated a little, small hiccups coming from him as he struggled to get air into his body. He was shaking his head, moving his hands to weakly try and push away Silas, he didn’t want to hurt him but he also felt like he had no strength at the moment, and deep inside he did want to be comforted. “No,” he started, “no, ….no, no.“ His words were punctuated by ragged breaths and tears. “Go…back to bed” He managed to get out. ”I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You need your rest and….I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet” he promised, his voice raw and broken as he tried to scramble away from Silas a bit, not that he could go anywhere, he was against a wall. He might want the comfort but that didn’t mean he thought he deserved it. “Go to sleep” he choked out. Arthur wasn’t thinking quite straight though, if someone he cared about was this distressed, he wouldn’t be able to just leave and go to sleep. He should’ve taken a page out of Caroline’s book and locked the door so no one could reach him. And even when he himself couldn’t reach Caroline, he’d still been worried about her and had trouble sleeping. “I…I..I don’t want to burden you“ he sniffled “or bring you anymore pain” Arthur was really struggling with the issues of guilt and responsibility and all the comfort he tried to give Caroline? He seemed unable to apply it to himself. But he was too emotional to be thinking rationally anyway. Silas should just leave him here, and Arthur shouldn’t have volunteered to stay with him, he was just making things worse.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas could feel Arthur push against him. Try to get rid of him. Ha! It wasn't going to be that easy. He had no plans of leaving Arthur's side. Arthur hadn't left his afterall. But, Silas did pull away. As to look at Arthur a little better. Huffing gently. "Arthur, Shut up. " His expression fond as he shook his head. Informing Arthur. "You could never be a burden to me. " It was true, Arthur was his friend. Huh, Silas didn't think he had many of those. But he thought Arthur was a very good friend. The more Arthur spoke, The more Silas knew what likely had triggered this. A long sigh came from Silas and he gently reached forward. Taking Arthur's hand.

He then told Arthur. "You've never brought me pain. You've only made it easier to bare. " He promised. The only one at fault for hurting him was Rayner. Even should Arthur be gone the abuse would continue. Arthur being here provided him some comfort and companionship. He was no longer alone in this. Silas then pulled his gaze away. Glancing towards the candle. It gave off little light and Silas did not think darkness would do them any good. The dark likely would just add to the cold and their fears. The silence also wouldn't help. Perhaps they could use a distraction.

Silas thus looked to Arthur, Eyes twinkling in mischief. He then asked gently. "C'mon. Help me light the rest of the room. We're gonna have a little fun. " Something to take Arthur's mind off his fears would do them good. But they needed to take one step at a time. Carefully, Silas then moved to try and get to his feet. Wincing as he straightened. But he tried not to let any pain be visible. Arthur didn't need to worry about him. He needed to forget about worrying. Atleast for a bit.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas wasn’t leaving a part of Arthur was glad, and a part of him hated that he was glad. Silas should go back to sleep, not worry about him but no, Silas was trying to reassure him and honestly it felt a little strange, the way Silas’ words made his chest unfurl a little, his emotions still tender but a small spark of hope growing admits the despair. His hand was warm and Arthur was hesitant at first but soon he was gripping it tightly, watching the way Silas’ eyes sparkled in the dim light. Silas was soon breaking his gaze though and coming up with a plan of action as Arthur tried to get his breathing under control, which was little easier now that he could feel Silas, could see him, not just picture him bloody against that column.

Fun? Arthur wasn’t sure he deserved fun and he sniffled but climbed to his feet anyway. If he lit the candles and entertained whatever was going on in Silas’ mind, maybe he’d go back to sleep and forget about this? So, Arthur was climbing to his feet shortly after Silas although his legs felt a little weird and wobbly. ”you should be resting” Arthur stated again, voice still raw but a little bit more stable now that his breathing had calmed down a bit. His breathing was still shaky, hurt still and his chest continued to hurt but it was a little easier and he wasn’t struggling to get air in. He dropped Silas’ hand as they entered the bedroom proper again and he went towards the candles to light them, attempt to wipe his face on the way. He was sure he looked snotty and weak and disgusting. Silas really had better things to deal with than him having a nightmare.

”and…and I don’t think you’re in the condition to have too much fun” he said, trying to get his voice back under control, leaning over a candle with his back to Silas as he tried to calm himself down further. It was easier when he wasn’t watching Himself have a melt down in a mirror. It was easier when he knew Silas was up and he had to be stronger for him. “I can’t have you hurting more” he said and turned to look at Silas and his eyes were still wet but he wasn’t crying anymore, he‘d try to wipe his face but his cheeks were still sticky as well and the candlelight caught them making it rather obvious. Then again, Silas knew he’d been crying anyway so it didn’t matter. “Just….go back to bed, I’ll be fine” he insisted. “I can go get Caroline to keep you company instead if you’d rather. Maybe it’d be better” he suggested, sure she got upset sometimes but she probably wouldn’t disturb Silas like he had.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas managed to get Arthur up and moving, Something Silas soon took as a win. But, Arthur was still worrying and Silas waved his hand dismissively. "Thats a lot of stuff I should be doing that I don't do. " He said jokingly. Hoping to keep the mood light. Arthur was working on getting the room lit, And Silas turned from him. A bit unsteady as he made his way to a corner of his room. Beginning to look threw things. Tsking softly to himself as he searched. But Arthur was still talking. His voice clearer now then before. Still worried. But Silas didn't even entertain the idea. Soon saying. " Enough Arthur, I'm okay. We're okay. I like you being here. " Glancing back towards the other man. Tears were clear on Arthur's face. Silas couldn't help the worry that twisted in his gut. But he pushed it down. Finally retrieving a few items and making his way towards the bed.

Sitting down, he gave his Cheetah a annoyed look as the animal just got comfier in the bed. Completely ignoring the men and not intended to give them much room. But that was fine. The bed was honestly plenty big enough. Silas then showed Arthur his items. A wine bottle and a deck of cards. Grinning at Arthur. "Up for a game? " Though he hardly intended to listen to Arthur should he refuse. Already getting the deck ready.

Silas then told Arthur. "I'm not very good at cards. But I figure we can play a few rounds. And drink a little while we do. " It would give Arthur something to focus on. Something other then his worries. Silas then was dealing the cards between the two of them. Once done, He then picked up the wine glass and took a swig. Reaching then the pass the bottle to Arthur. Grinning after. "Fair warning, The wine sucks. " Really, Silas would need to stock up on better tasting drinks to keep in his room. But this should do the job.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas wasn’t having any of his worries it seemed, he wasn’t interested in swapping Arthur out for someone else and instead was insisting he liked his company. Arthur enjoyed spending time with Silas, was glad the other prince felt the same way, but he still felt bad about disturbing him and keeping him up. But, Silas didn't seem like he wanted to talk about that, didn’t want to entertain Arthur’s worries about keeping him up. Instead, Silas was suggesting they play some cards and he couldn’t help but frown a little, still his eyes snagged on the wine bottle. Maybe that’d make him feel better? He wouldn’t mind feeling numb for a bit, and at the same time he felt he deserved to feel horrible, for causing so much trouble, so wine was a good idea. The bad taste was sure to be a punishment he deserved.

He drifted closer, a little dubious but ended up sitting on the bed, picking up the cards he’d been dealt. His attention was soon on the wine passed his way though and he only hesitated for a second before he took an extremely large swig, grimacing as he pulled it away to hand back to Silas. That had tasted horrible, but it was what Arthur deserved, to not find pleasure in it. And now bear in mind that Arthur had just been crying and hyperventilating so he was a little dehydrated, that meant the wine was going to kick in a bit quicker, and he was usually badly affected as it was. “I’ve never really played cards much” he admitted, it’s not like he went drinking with the knights in town much, which is where they’d play mostly, and otherwise, he wasn’t really a gambler, which was the reason the men played.

Arthur looked at Silas, his gaze apologetic, curious and worried. He knew Silas had helped him before, but this was….unexpected. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised but he couldn’t help but be intrigued by the depths of Silas’ kindness. He had said that Silas was kind yesterday, but the man didn‘t always give off that impression. He didn’t want to wear it thin though, he couldn’t continue to bother him. He needed to get a grip of himself. But by now Arthur’s breathing was more normal and his tears had stopped. He seemed to be recovering even if his mind was still plagued. “You’re going to end up with no alcohol left at this rate” Arthur murmured, watching Silas. They did seem to be drinking a lot, although to be fair they’d gone out yesterday rather than depleting Silas’ stash. “I’ve never drank so much, so often” he spoke, trying to keep the conversation away from his break Down and well, Silas didn't want to talk about him leaving or ignoring him so he could go back to sleep. “I’m starting to think you’re a bad influence” he said and he even managed a teasing tone, although his voice was a bit weak.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas soon grinned at Arthur. Musing. "Its never a bad time to learn. Maybe we'll be able to do a bit of gambling next time we go to town? " Silas himself could use practice. Apparently just relying on luck wasn't a very efficient strategy. Gambling could be there next adventure in town! He then focused back on his deck. Snickering gently. "If that becomes a issue then we'll just need to raid the wine cellar. " Hopefully they wouldn't be able to drink everything down there. But Silas figured the drink might do Arthur a bit of good. Help him forget about the problems of the day.

He then did a small mock gasp. "Me? A bad influence? Where ever have you gotten that idea? " He joked. Before taking another swig of the wine before setting it aside. This was nice. But, Looking up at Arthur, Silas could still see the tear tracks on his face. The evidence of his crying had been clear. It was hard not to worry. Silas hated seeing the sadness in his eyes. So, Without thinking he had leaned closer. Reaching up to try and clean off any remaining tears on his cheek with his sleeve. Only seeming to realize what he was doing midway threw.

It caused him to freeze. Silas wasn't completely sure why. He had done far worse things in front of Arthur. But the action caused his cheeks to turn a bit red. Hopefully the room was dim enough to hide such or Silas could blame the cold. Averting his eyes. Silas then spoke quietly. "I uh.. Sorry. " His mind searching for some sort of excuse. But none came to mind. He hadn't even drank enough to blame the drink.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

“I’ll end up broke“ Arthur replied, finding it a bit easier to talk now, Silas was being friendly, playful, it meant he could reply more naturally himself, out of reflex rather than overthinking. Arthur definitely shouldn’t rely on luck for his gambling strategy, Lady Luck didn‘t seem fond of him. And raiding the wine cellar sounded like it might annoy Rayner which was both a pro and a con wrapped into one. Silas’ joking even managed to get a small smile to appear on Arthur’s face, a bit reserved and not fully happy, but a smile none the less.

The atmosphere changed a bit though as Silas leaned in to try and clean his cheeks better. They both froze at the situation. It shouldn’t be complicated. Silas was being kind, caring for him. He didn’t have to, but he was. It made Arthur feel a bit gooey actually, that Silas was being so gentle with him. He felt warm at the idea of Silas caring about him. But, it was unusual to have someone wipe away his tears like that, only really his mother had done that for him, and not for a long time, it didn‘t feel the same way it had when Malia did it though, not to say it wasn’t comforting, but there was a different relationship there, different tensions and different intentions.

Arthur managed to get a good look at Silas’ eyes before he averted them, that beautiful green almost hypnotic and he noticed the red cheeks, was Silas embarassed he cared for him? Or had he thought he’d overstepped, that maybe he was babying Arthur too much? Arthur wasn’t thinking about that though, he was thinking about how warm they must be and he wanted to reach out a hand to touch them. He restrained himself though. He couldn’t restrain himself from everything however. He let his eyes drift down, snagging on Silas’ lips and staying there. The alcohol had already gone to Arthur’s head, his crying and lack of oxygen had made him feel light headed already, like nothing was quite real and his body didn’t really belong To him, the alcohol only compounded that further and he didn't really feel like he could stop himself as he leaned in. He was slow, gentle, as he went to kiss Silas tentatively, trying not break the moment which felt fragile. Silas was…..different from Ethan, different from other men he‘d thought about but Arthur wasn’t really sure what he wanted. Right now? He was starting to think he had a thing for tenderness. He’d reached up a hand to take Silas’ wrist and guide it out of the way of their faces, always being soft and gentle. It wasn’t like with Vere, where he’d been quick and hasty, no, he wanted to take his time here, not that he could truly think about his reasoning much or why he was being so tender, just that it felt right and that Silas felt …unavoidable in this moment. He couldn’t not have kissed him, it just wasn’t possible. That’s what it felt like at least, like Silas was a massive sun and he was caught in his inescapable gravity.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas eventually managed to bring his gaze back to Arthur. And well, It was strange seeing Arthur staring at him so intently. Whatever his thoughts were, They were hard to read. Or perhaps Silas was finding the closeness of the two distracting. It made things a little hard to think. But, Arthur was then closing the distance between the two. It was slow, Gentle, Something perhaps a bit unusual for Silas. Silas had been with plenty of people in his life. But most were purely lust. Nothing else. Ronan had been far harsher with any affection and well.... Lance had been softer with his kiss. But it hadn't felt like this. Hadn't really felt as real. Or maybe Silas was thinking to much about it?

Still, Silas didn't hesitate before he was kissing back. It simply felt natural and nice. It was a closeness that he craved and he wanted to be nearer. But sadly the kiss was soon enough breaking. Far too soon for Silas's liking. But with it gone, Silas opened his eyes and became far more aware of the situation. His cheeks hot and eyes on Arthur. Things were quiet in the room. But Silas couldn't say he minded it. But someone needed to break the silence eventually and Silas eventually managed to get some sense back to him. Finding himself breaking out into a smile. "Well, You certainly know how to surprise a man." He told playfully.

Silas then was moving closer. Until he was practically sitting on Arthur's lap. Teasing. "I shouldn't be surprised though, I am irresistible. " He joked. Hoping the smugness in his voice might hide how flustered he felt. Acting confident was something he knew how to do very well. But still, For some reason nerves twisted in his chest and he wanted to hide his face. He'd do no such thing though. Looking up at Arthur and well... He couldn't help the fondness in his eyes. He cared about Arthur, A lot more then he thought he should. Oh, Perhaps he should blame all these thoughts on the wine? But Silas had not drank that much and was hardly as effected as Arthur.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas didn’t push him away, didn‘t recoil or tell him to go away, that this was a mistake. Maybe it was, but Silas wasn’t saying it. Instead, he was kissing Arthur back and it was nice. It was more than nice. It was soft and sweet and made his stomach flutter in ways he wasn’t quite used to. He leaned further in as Silas kissed him back, willing to let the kiss deepen but they were far too soon pulling apart and all, he could do then was stare into Silas’ eyes and try to get his breathe back, his oxygen still a bit unusual from his breakdown. The silence was…..very obvious, but Arthur would also just be happy to stay in that moment for a while, just to revel in it and process what he’d done. His mind was working sort of sluggishly anyway from the alcohol.

Silas was breaking the moment though with his bright grin and loud words, and even louder actions. Arthur couldn’t help but frown as Silas got closer and used that tone. It was….the atmosphere wasn’t as gentle anymore, and he knew Silas could act like this, could certainly be very obnoxious if he wanted to, but he’d hoped that the other man might stay tender. But maybe he could be coaxed back that way? There was something in Silas’ eyes, under all this….bravado he put on. Arthur was shaking his head gently, trying to process the sudden change, the way Silas acted a bit like someone else entirely. “It’s not…I Didn’t….that wasn’t” he sighed. He had found Silas irresistible but likely not in the way that most people did. He wasn’t interested in money or status nor was it really about lust. He wasn’t attracted by the personality that most people got from Silas, although he did enjoy the playful ribbing at times, no, he liked the way Silas cared, maybe more than he liked to admit, and how he was sweet and kind and vulnerable but also strong.

”You’re Not very good at preserving the moment” he commented, and he didn’t mean it horribly, it was just an observation that Silas wanted to break the silence whereas Arthur didn’t mind it. Maybe Silas didn’t like his thoughts and figured talking would help, and that way he acted smug, to protect himself a bit. “I wasn’t trying to surprise you” he said even if he had surprised himself a little. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, he tended to go about kissing men when he was drunk but he hadn’t expected himself to kiss Silas of all people, didn't think he’d be so bold. “I was just…..” he didn’t know, he supposed he hadn’t been thinking much, just feeling. “I like when you’re tender” he confessed, looking away from Silas and down, his own cheeks heating up a bit. “When you’re not acting and just allow yourself to be gentle”

 

[Officer Newt]

Arthur's fumbling for words was rather cute. Made Silas's smile softer and he considered teasing the other about such. But in the end he just listened. A small laugh coming from him at his words. Indeed, Silas was perhaps bad at keeping the mood. Teasing was easy to him. More comfortable. He quieted though as Arthur kept talking. Head tilting to the side. His voice soft as he asked. "What makes you think I'm acting? " He couldn't help the curiousness in his tone. Perhaps he was acting in a way. He was a nervous wreck. Even if he was trying to keep it off his face and out his mind. Arthur seemed more willing to allow such shyness to show. Looking away and the way his cheeks reddened was certainly cute. But Silas thought he preferred when he could see Arthur's eyes better.

So carefully he reached up. Touching Arthur's cheek and hoping to guide him back. Arthur preferred when he wasn't acting? So, He wouldn't act. He then told Arthur. "I'm sorry, This... This is a lot. But, I like it. I... I like you. " He confessed. Though the words felt embarrassing to say and now that it was said. He wasn't sure what to do with it. Now it was his turn to look down. Awkwardly chuckling. "I'm not completely sure what to do now. " It was true. Normally such behaviors went somewhere far friskier for Silas. But this felt far to soft for that and Silas just... sort of wanted to be with Arthur. Besides, Silas didn't exactly want to do much considering his injury.

Still Silas didn't know what to do. That was normally the next step for him. Because this was lust? Right? That didn't feel the right word for it. He didn't want that to be the right word for it. But there wasn't anything between him and Arthur? And even if there was. More lustful actions was obviously the next step. Was Arthur hoping for that? He'd kissed him so he probable wanted that. Except it didn't much fit Arthur's character. But what if he was wrong? Silas suddenly realized he had been sitting there quietly for a few moments now and found himself looking up startled. Swallowing. He then sheepishly told Arthur. "I... I don't want to do anything further tonight. I just... " And he found himself wincing at the words a bit. Because he was sure that was going to give the wrong impression. So instead he quickly put in. "I-its not that I don't want to do anything. I like you. I just... My back hurts and just... I... " Gosh, He felt like a mess.