How Did The Person Above You Die?

Died of immersing themself in COD so much that their soul resides in the game leaving the body limp and dead
 
It all started with the brain freeze while driving. For some reason they had taken their ice cream with them and was eating it in the car. Upon their brain freezing, the car promptly hit a bump in the road, spun through the air like a majestic metallic dolphin, and threw them out of the seats over a cliff. While they were falling they noticed the empty Ice cream glass and the thought struck them that if they'd lost it they probably wouldn't be allowed to get any more ice cream from their favorite place. Distracted by this, they promptly failed at throwing themselves at the ground and missed entirely, resulting in them flying through the air. For a time they floated along peacefully while they checked out the glass to see if it had been scratched or cracked. When it was apparent the glass was fine, they looked around for something to put it down on, and were quite shocked to find that there wasn't a table beside them in the air for them to safely store their possession. Clearly something had to be done about this. Balancing the glass on their head, they flew through the air to the great forest in the sky. The great forest in the sky was a common tourist attraction, though usually people took the stairs. Or if they were smart and thought to ask, the elevator. At any rate, They soon found themselves floating among the ridiculously tall and never-quite-straight trees of the sky forest. Eventually coming to land on a high branch that stuck out in a not-quite-straight fashion from the main body of wood.

The Glass still balanced on their head, they went to work quickly. Creating a table worthy of their favorite Ice cream glass would be no easy feat, but they were a master of the mystical martial arts after all. They soon found the Forest life to be fairly routine. Hunt the never-standing-straight wildlife, drink from the not-so-straight running stream, and practice creating so-close-to-straight tables. It took 3 years to create a table wonderful and glorious enough to hold such an important artifact, and when they took the glass off their head and put it on the table, they were surprised at how straight the glass was. it was then they realized they themselves had become a not-so-straight person. When they tried being straight with themselves, it only resulted in going in circles until the un-straightened themselves out. Clearly there was nothing to be done about this. Besides, the not-so-straight lifestyle was rather nice, in a roundabout way.

From then on they lived a happy but never-quite-straight life. After creating a not-quite-straight temple to house the glass of straightness, they then went on to study architecture and created the famous not-quite-standing-straight Tower of Pisa. After which they retired to the actually-not-straight lake and took not-even-close-to-straight walks. Finally after living a fulfilling but never-actually-straight life they passed away quietly and peacefully in old age.
 
Had his gas mask merge with his face before it took possession of the wearer. They’ve been a zombie ever since and legend has it that he unleashes the Mask’s curse on those who intrude on their territory in Belgium.
 
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