Fantasy Hotel California: the new Host

[Axeykins]

"I could say the same to you.You don't have the slightest clue what you're dealing with." He laughed again as the shadow body just phased away before reforming again." Pick a room. Forever is free of charge here. You've got your room key already. I slipped it into your pocket." He hissed teasingly into his ear. Snakelike tongue flittering out to just add more to the unease in the room. " Any average guest room door you open with that key will open to your room. It opens things such as the kitchen and library and ballroom blah blah blah. regain your memories all you like but does that mean much really when you can't even escape here? only by 3 conditions. Find the main key which not even I know where that is anymore psht... it's like I'm not trusted with the damn thing, find yourself a substitute ooor easiest of all. Die." He shrugged. "Have as much fun as you like though, you've got all the time in existence to do so. I've got some other guests to attend to off in the hotel. Been a busy busy day. Unless you have any further questions?"

 

[Nihilist_Ulquiorra]

"None" he opens the door and walks in

 

[egghead]

The host’s eyes rolling back into his skull and bleeding black ooze wasn’t the worst thing Glen had ever seen, but it was definitely up there. It was like watching a car crash; he couldn’t look away. He didn’t even realize that his squishy shackles were loose until a hand shot up out of reflex to cover his mouth.

What happened next was an embarrassingly long struggle to wiggle free. Once he was out, he didn’t stick around to help his fellow captive escape. Instead, he ran straight for the door.

 

[Nihilist_Ulquiorra]

I then remember that even if I die I return to the place I'm from anyway because I'm a hollow evolution so I'm not afraid of death but I might as well stay until I regain my memories and then kill myself

 

[Nihilist_Ulquiorra]

i then grab a book and start reading

 

[buzz]

Face nearly glued onto tacky wallpaper, Vincent had barely peeled himself from the wall when his target sprinted out of his blurry eyesight. “Hey, hey! I’m not done with you, slimeball!” He limped forward before stumbling once again. “Ow, my beautiful bosom...” Lifting himself off the floor with the help of the bed frame, his eyes bore the misfortune of catching the Host’s horrific state. “What the?!” A cry of fear and latent delight shook the room. After breathing himself into sobriety, the suited man inched closer to the statue of horror. “Sisceal?” He frowned, then grinned, before bursting into gleeful laughter. Grabbing the nearest object, a lone pen on the nightstand, he clicked it with menacing excitement. Aiming for the host’s neck, he giggled, “Bye-bye, asshole!”

-

“You can’t ever be too sure—I’m sure you’re familiar with the feeling.” Katrinne shrugged before acquiescing to the stranger’s wishes and taking a few plentiful steps backwards. “He could be listening, you know!” Letting a half-hearted warning ring, the demon strayed to pace elsewhere in the expansive room, picking at tableware and pestering flowers suspended in time.

 

[Axeykins]

Sisceal's hand snapped up and grabbed Vincent around the scrawny wrist. The pen in the man's hand just barely scraping at the flesh of his neck. A deathly rattle echoed through the host's chest as his eyes reappeared from the pitch black pits of the sockets. "Aww...Leaving me so soon? huh sweetheart?" He was quick.Yanking the poor fellow in closer to him with a wry smile on his face. "I'm feeling better than you think now so what exactly was going to be this plan hm? I'm very curious to find out how this was playing out in your wee little brain pretty boy."

 

[buzz]

Vincent dropped the pen instantly, a high-pitched shriek emitting upon seeing eyeballs roll into place inches from him. “Ew! Leave me alone, monster!” In a bout of pure fear, he thrashed against the Host’s iron grip. “It was that stinkbug running away who did it! I was just trying to save you!” His tinted and glossed mouth continued spewing excuse after excuse, a helpless piece of meat in his captor’s jaws. “Please don’t kill me!”

 

[Nihilist_Ulquiorra]

I walk out "i shouldn't walk into this"

 

[Axeykins]

Sisceal snorted and burst out laughing at the man's pleas and excuses. Unable to hold it in any longer "You mean to tell me that despite the pen being in your hand and him so far away now that it wasn't you doing this? You were trying to save me from what? A man halfway out the door not even near any part of my being any more? What a joke!!" He continued laughing. "And then when caught in the act you squeal like a little pig? That's hilaaarious" He pushed back Vincent's nose, making it turn into a pig snout. He didn't plan on making it permanent he was enjoying this pretty little face around admittedly but in the time being it was too tempting not to befoul the fool's face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hold up. Waddya mean under new management?" Marius sat up with joints creaking in protest. How long had he been out for truly? "What happened to Obsidian? Who's more obnoxious than him or whatever is going on....uf...this is making my head hurt just trying to start thinking about it." He held his head between his hands. "I think I'm remembering you guys from before but please tell me what the hell you're even talking about??"

 

[egghead]

“He’s dead.” Rachel shrugged. Not even she could make sense out of what happened. “Don’t ask me how.”

Her frown slowly twisting into a scowl, she continued. “He’s not an issue anymore. The priest’s in charge now, and he’s...changed. If you thought Obsidian was bad, wait until you meet this psycho.”

That was when the doors flew open. Into the ballroom staggered a very distraught Glen. Sweat dived off his brow and he wheezed like a pack-a-day chainsmoker as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Wow, what happened to you?” Rachel tilted her head and squinted at him, confused. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

Glen initially looked surprised to see the others, but soon enough panic returned in a wave stronger than the last. Ripping off his stupid little hat, he gave a patchwork explanation that only a crazy old man can give. “I-I don’t know. His eyes...black...and he...blood, everywhere!” Spittle flew out of his mouth with every syllable, but what came out next was probably the most coherent. “I think...he’s angry.”

 

[buzz]

His eyes crossed, staring at the finger digging into his skin. “May I politely—very politely—ask that you, uh, be gentle with my nose. It was very expensive.”

Realizing what he was saying, Vincent jut his head backwards, out of the bedridden monster’s wingspan. “That’s not important, though. What IS important, is reality. And trust me, I know a lot about reality.” His wrist was bolted between his captor’s claws, but that didn’t stop him from gesturing in place as he spoke. “Number one, never trust the one that runs away. Right? Common sense. I’m still here, and that…rat…fled! Suspicious, isn’t it? Now, if you’re happy with that, I can move onto number two—just give me a moment to remember what it was…”

—

Despite being well-aware of what was being said, it was hard not to wince at their predicament being spoken into reality. “He’s not a psycho,” she barked, not fully aware of what she was saying until the hoarse rebuke reverberated throughout the ballroom. Not knowing how to explain the difference between possession and true malfeasance, and even wondering if there lies anything differentiating the two, the demon shut her mouth.

Thankfully, the emergence of what could only seem like a grown man in cosplay diverted much of her internal bargaining. It took her a moment to string together what was being said. The realization immediately sent a weight down her bowels. She felt like an apologist for a monster who was about to vivisect the knot in her stomach.

“What did you do?”

 

[egghead]

“I didn’t do anything!” Glen shouted with so much conviction that he himself almost believed it.

Rae, still reeling from her chaperone’s sudden outburst, appointed herself the voice of reason. “Will you two calm the hell down? You’re giving me a headache.”

Rubbing her temples, she turned towards the bellhop. “Tell us what happened back there, with less spit this time.”

“How should I know?” Glen shot back with even more spit than before. “Do I look like I know how anything works in this...this hellhole?”

 

[Nihilist_Ulquiorra]

I return to my room and sit on my bed.

 

[Axeykins]

"Expensive?" He scoffed. Looking at his temporary work with glee. "Might want to check that one again. looks like you stole it from some poor swine to me there bud." His grin widened watching the man try and lean as far away from his hand as possible. "I'm no fool either. I know that **thing** is up to something. I don't trust him one single bit. His face itself angers me and I don't know why but he can't hide who he really is from me forever." The host spat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Whoooooooah wait what??!? You can't be serious!" Nervous giggles erupted from the vampiric man. "Obsiddy dead and the sweetest man alive now in his place. And you're callin him a psycho?" He cocked his head to the side curiously. Opening his lips to ask more questions when a very familiar scent filled his nostrils. "S'that Glen??? Why is he here?" He turned his attention to him. "Why and how are you here?"

 

[Axeykins]

( we miss you egghead )

 

[egghead]

“What, don’t believe me?” Rachel swivelled back to the vampire as if she wasn’t already in the middle of a conversation. Touching the ugly bruises lining her throat, she sneered at an uglier memory. “Fine, then. Guess you’ll just have to see it for yourself.”

There was a squelching noise as Glen waddled over. Some sort of black ooze covered his shoes, but he didn’t seem to notice. When they weren’t darting between the others, his eyes were fixed on the ballroom doors, as if expecting something to burst through at any moment.

“Oh, um, hey.” He tried to play it cool, but he might as well have been melting into the floor. “It’s been…awhile. You’re, uh, Manny, right?”

 

[buzz]

Knowing she shared a sense of naive optimism with the man who had no idea what was going on, the drying corners of her mouth twitched.



Guilt and shame didn’t occupy her, or anyone else, that long in the Hotel. She heard it before she saw it, and her suspicions were confirmed. The almost acidic sludge trailed out of a room further down, at the far end of the ballroom—Vincent’s room



Without a word, she bounded towards the source. Motherly instinct, or maybe overwhelming pity for her fry-shaped friend, imbued her legs with energy. The door was unfortunately locked or, more likely, glued shut.



“Let me in NOW, Vincent!”



—



“Stole… You know what, never mind that!” He blinked the anger away. “You’re totally right, sire! He’s really, really deceitful… Heh, I would know… But that just means you should PUNISH him!” The perm on his head shook in its place, almost winking with its owner. Neither was a savory sight.



“And what better than a SLAVE—or, I’d prefer the term “concubine”—like myself to carry out your orders, kill on your behalf, work while you recover?” His sole free hand caressed the grip digging into his captive one, hoping it’d loosen not just the vise but also the mind behind it.



“So, what do you say, you beautiful hunk with, ooh, such luscious—“



The door erupted in a series of kicks and knocks. It was the goddamn devil lady again, of course. Spoiling his plans yet again, but Vincent wouldn’t let that happen.



“I can get rid of her! Just.. just give me a second.” He tugged on his arm, trying to free himself and run to the door, shooing her away as soon as he could. It was quite the change of mind from a few minutes prior, when he was desperate for a savior. A grimy woman was not what he anticipated, however.

 

[Axeykins]

"Marius, but close enough I suppose Glen. Least it's good to see you haven't changed." He scratched his head and got up from his old prison. "Look I just woke up again after who knows how long. I honestly don't know what's going on. And you all know I'm blind as shit so I can't even see it either!" With an adjustment of his tight chest hugging croptop and one swipe of his hand through his hair the undead man was back to perfection. Not a single blemish on his tanned skin.


~~~~~~~~~

There was no use at all in trying to hold back the laughter that burst forth from him with that proposition. A true laugh of joy and amusement that rang out through the rooms like a silver church bell. "You? Kill on my behalf?" Gripping tightly to his sides the man had to wipe an inky tear from his eye. "What are ya gonna do? Kill em with your fashion choices? Hell you're gonna get yourself hurt if you think you can hold that woman back!" He snorted. Clamping his sharpened teeth together as he tried keeping in the laughter. It was making his sides ache horribly. "Ooooh you're cute as you claim to be saying things like that."

 

[egghead]

The entire building rumbled, as if the hotel itself was laughing along with its host. The cackles coming from the other side of the walls couldn’t belong to anyone else. A slab of wood was the only thing between them and Sisceal.

And one of them was trying to get rid of it.

“No, stop!” Glen’s legs must have grown wings, because he practically flew across the room. He must have not noticed the very noticeable slime trail on the floor, because the next thing he knew, he was skittering over it. There was a meaty thud as he rammed straight into Katrinne, followed by the symphony of two bodies crashing through the door.

Now there was nothing separating them from the craziest bastard to have ever walked these halls.

 

[Axeykins]

(miss y'all, even you HumphryOmega )