care_less
Professional Procrastinator
Xander was definitely right. Being human did come with the unbearing amount of emotions and mental blockages. He wouldn't be able to truly experience this now, but he was already getting a small understanding of it. When he had first realized that he had liked Xander, he remembered only getting slightly nervous around him. He could only recall a few times when he would hide himself or feel his heart pound, but that was only when Xander was purposely trying to do so. Right now, Xander was barely even looking at him while they were DATING, and Karma was become anxious again. His heart was pounding, his body becoming hot. He looked down to his hands to see that they were even shaking. He had never gotten like that since he was at most ten. Were all humans like this? Did they get almost sick when they were around someone they truly liked? Did they sweat over nervousness like he was? "Yeah...I suppose I judged humans too harshly," he says as he recalled every time he rolled his eyes and complained to Xander of the human behavior.
"I just..." his sentence trailed off as he tried to find the right words. He was starting to experience empathy. All those times Xander was pushed off coldly whenever he craved such affection was starting to get to him. Did he make him feel lonely? Did he make him upset? Almost instantly he felt a tinge of panic. It was unreasonable for sure. His brain was moving too fast. But he couldn't see reason. Not with his doubts in the way. "I'm sorry...for all the times I pushed you away." He looked down at his lap sadly. "Whenever you just...you know...wanted a hug or to talk something out, and I just ignored you. I wish I could better understand how to let you in." He found it difficult now to meet his gaze, but forced himself to. He adjusted his glasses again, this time with a shaky hand, then smiled softly at him. "I do love you, Xander. A lot. I suppose I just have a difficult time telling you that."
When Xander had insisted on using the car radio, Karma laughed softly before waving away the option. He had never cared much for music. Unlike many people, listening to anything other than silence made it difficult for Karma to think. He would much prefer the quiet than anything else. "I'm fine. I'm sure I'm going to fall asleep, anyways," he says shortly after a yawn. It was barely thirty minutes of being a human, and the male was already in need of a nap. He listened to his boyfriend list off the different activities the amusement park had in-stored for them. It was difficult not to smile at how excited Xander sounded. Unlike Xander, Karma had never visited any exciting attractions as a child. He was from a family of introverts who all prefered staying inside rather than attend a noisy, crowded park. "You're the expert, Xander. It's probably best if I followed your lead." Things like roller coasters or water rides never really fascinated him. After all, he could fly higher and faster than any of those rides combined. But now with his wings gone, he wouldn't flex his lost ability. Plus, he didn't want to bum Xander down by declining all of his ideas.
The moment Xander apologized for speaking too much, Karma waved him off again as another yawn slipped. He loved to hear the other speak. After all, Karma was more of a listener than a speaker. He reclined in his seat and got himself comfortable. He could feel the urge to fall asleep overtake him. His eyes beginning to droop, his limbs becoming heavy. But he wanted to speak to Xander just a little bit more before he finally slipped into his dreamland. "Don't apologize. I love hearing your voice," he said in almost a dreamy fashion. "It's relaxing to hear you speak. Makes me feel safe." His last two sentences were most likely from the result of a tired mind. For on any other occasion, he wouldn't have admitted that. He closed his eye as he gave out a long sigh. He wished he could hold Xander's hand. So he lifted his heavy eyelid slightly to see where Xander's free hand was. Once he spotted it, Karma moved his fingers in between Xander's and locked their hand. Satisfied, he closed his eye again. "Go on," he insisted in a murmur. "Keep talking."
Cosmic_Chaos
"I just..." his sentence trailed off as he tried to find the right words. He was starting to experience empathy. All those times Xander was pushed off coldly whenever he craved such affection was starting to get to him. Did he make him feel lonely? Did he make him upset? Almost instantly he felt a tinge of panic. It was unreasonable for sure. His brain was moving too fast. But he couldn't see reason. Not with his doubts in the way. "I'm sorry...for all the times I pushed you away." He looked down at his lap sadly. "Whenever you just...you know...wanted a hug or to talk something out, and I just ignored you. I wish I could better understand how to let you in." He found it difficult now to meet his gaze, but forced himself to. He adjusted his glasses again, this time with a shaky hand, then smiled softly at him. "I do love you, Xander. A lot. I suppose I just have a difficult time telling you that."
When Xander had insisted on using the car radio, Karma laughed softly before waving away the option. He had never cared much for music. Unlike many people, listening to anything other than silence made it difficult for Karma to think. He would much prefer the quiet than anything else. "I'm fine. I'm sure I'm going to fall asleep, anyways," he says shortly after a yawn. It was barely thirty minutes of being a human, and the male was already in need of a nap. He listened to his boyfriend list off the different activities the amusement park had in-stored for them. It was difficult not to smile at how excited Xander sounded. Unlike Xander, Karma had never visited any exciting attractions as a child. He was from a family of introverts who all prefered staying inside rather than attend a noisy, crowded park. "You're the expert, Xander. It's probably best if I followed your lead." Things like roller coasters or water rides never really fascinated him. After all, he could fly higher and faster than any of those rides combined. But now with his wings gone, he wouldn't flex his lost ability. Plus, he didn't want to bum Xander down by declining all of his ideas.
The moment Xander apologized for speaking too much, Karma waved him off again as another yawn slipped. He loved to hear the other speak. After all, Karma was more of a listener than a speaker. He reclined in his seat and got himself comfortable. He could feel the urge to fall asleep overtake him. His eyes beginning to droop, his limbs becoming heavy. But he wanted to speak to Xander just a little bit more before he finally slipped into his dreamland. "Don't apologize. I love hearing your voice," he said in almost a dreamy fashion. "It's relaxing to hear you speak. Makes me feel safe." His last two sentences were most likely from the result of a tired mind. For on any other occasion, he wouldn't have admitted that. He closed his eye as he gave out a long sigh. He wished he could hold Xander's hand. So he lifted his heavy eyelid slightly to see where Xander's free hand was. Once he spotted it, Karma moved his fingers in between Xander's and locked their hand. Satisfied, he closed his eye again. "Go on," he insisted in a murmur. "Keep talking."
Cosmic_Chaos