geminiy
v tired
Kian Phelan
@lockandkian has set their status to:
hell yes but also hell no but also what the fuck
@lockandkian has set their outfit to:
you got that kelli shirt and them boxers and that's it
@lockandkian has set their location to:
the johannes residence
@lockandkian has mentioned:
n/a
@lockandkian has interacted with:
Oates
@lockandkian has tagged:
mogy
hell yes but also hell no but also what the fuck
@lockandkian has set their outfit to:
you got that kelli shirt and them boxers and that's it
@lockandkian has set their location to:
the johannes residence
@lockandkian has mentioned:
n/a
@lockandkian has interacted with:
Oates
@lockandkian has tagged:
mogy
Clearly there was a logical explanation for the way Kian was feeling right now. If he wasn’t sure before what was happening, Kian was damn sure of what he had going on. The shitty circulation to his legs and the overheating when he had attempted to peel the clothes off of his skin had been nothing compared to what he was going through right now. Yes, there was a clear-cut and logical explanation as to why Kian felt like he was dying: myocardial infarction. Yes, Kian Phelan was having a heart attack at the age of sixteen.
The squeezing of the heart rattling around inside of his ribcage? Check.
Dizziness that fogged his mind and clouded his judgement? Check.
The tremble in his fingers that refused to stop no matter how many times he opened and closed a fist? Check.
Shortness of breath? Check.
The slightest tinge of nausea? Check.
See? All the symptoms line up! Kian was simply having a heart attack at the age of sixteen!
If it was a heart attack, Kian could simply chew a few Aspirin and drag his sorry ass to the hospital where he’d get hooked up to some machine. If it was a heart attack, Kian could excuse all the weird things he had said and done that night (“I was having a heart attack, bro, I totally don’t even remember hopping around stuck in my sister’s skirt”). If it was a heart attack, although relatively unlikely, Kian wouldn’t feel bad about someone coming to his pathetic rescue.
But if it wasn’t a heart attack? Well that would simply mean that the boy was so nervous that he felt like he was going to vomit, faint, and then consequently die all at the same time and oh boy, Kian Phelan did not do nervousness.
Pandora’s box had been foolishly opened and for a brief moment, Kian wondered if he could snap it back shut. Surely if he took the brunt of whatever shit show was headed his way from Oates that nothing bad would happen to anyone else that evening. Surely if he got his heart broken now, he could stop feeling guilty every time he saw the other boy’s face or heard his voice. Surely if everything got fucked up one last time, Oates could finally move on.
"Do you remember that time when we were racing on that school trip and fell into that whole mud puddle thing?"
Kian’s eyes snapped over to Oates, the anxiety clear on the clenched muscles in his jaw. Of course he remembered that trip, how could he forget? That trip had been the highlight of freshman year! Sure his hip was bruised for like a week and yeah his mom totally got on his ass for coming home covered in crusted mud and he probably got some sort of disease from literally inhaling a decent chunk of mud right into his lungs but that day, Kian could not have been happier.
Oh fuck, why was Oates coming closer? Scoot away, Kian, scoot away!
Lovely, he couldn’t move. How brilliant.
"It was when I first did this."
Kian’s eyes widened slightly as Oates leaned in and before Kian could even register what was happening, their lips were parting. Kian looked down to his raised hand that had been moving to pull Oates in closer, to keep that connection from breaking apart. Quickly dropping his hand to his lap, Kian’s jaw clenched again as he looked over Oates. Was he drunk? High? Did he hit his head? Was he the one having the heart attack?
“I-”
Kian stopped, trying to formulate a coherent thought as his lower lip caught between his teeth.
“You-”
What was the dude trying to do? Recite all the vowels in the English alphabet? Get a grip my man.
“Us-”
Kian shook his head. No, something wasn’t right. None of this was right. It had been years since the last time they kissed, years since the last time they touched, years since the last time they had even spoken. Kian had played various scenes over and over in his head those years trying to figure out in what strange universe he would ever cross paths with Oates again. He’d come up with a few strange scenarios, the oddest being their reunion after decades as they fled from the burning planet of Earth on some sort of weird rocketship to Mars where they were planning on rehabilitating the human race (PCP is one hell of a drug).
In none of those scenarios, in all of those hours of endless daydreaming that always left Kian with a stomach full of regret, did he ever imagine that he’d be sitting on the floor of a guest room in some random L.A. chick’s house half naked in his sister’s clothes kissing Oates who, although as cute as always, looked like a demon about to eat his soul. Even that seemed a touch too outlandish for the boy.
“Oates…” Kian trailed off, his face softening as his gaze drifted down to his lips and back up to his eyes. A soft smile began to form on the corners of Kian’s lips as years of memories flooded back to him, things he had fought to repress and forget, things that caused too much pain to think about. Their first hello, their last goodbye, every obstacle and uplift and war and victory in between.
Kian didn’t know what the hell he was doing, his mind had shut off moments before he rocked forwards and softly captured Oates’ face between his calloused hands, their lips moving in a familiar harmony that Kian had forgotten existed. It was new and old, bitter and sweet all at the same time.
Some nagging voice told him to stop as his hands pulled Oates closer, the two sinking further to the floor with Kian’s sudden movements. Kian didn’t want to stop. Fuck it, he wasn’t going to stop. There had been others since Oates left, people that felt shallow and cold in comparison to the bright light that he was currently intertwined with, people that left him longing for someone he couldn’t have anymore. Kian had been waiting for this for so damn long...
This was a mistake, Oates deserved better. Everything was wrong yet everything felt right. How very teen-romance movie cliche of him.
The fog that had been clouding his thoughts lifted in an instant and Kian pulled away with a gasp for air, his hands still Oates’ side underneath his shirt. Carefully pulling his hands away, Kian physically distanced himself as he shuffled back slightly. Reaching his thumb up to dab at a spot on his lower lip, Kian then scrambled to his feet.
“I’m sorry. Fuck man, I shouldn’t have done that. Not that I didn’t want to because I really did but not here, not like this. You deserve so much better than whatever the hell that was, you deserve the whole damn world after what I did to you. Fuck.” Kian ranted and rambled as he nervously began to pace, his fingers tapping anxious rhythms on the inside of his palm. Think dammit, think! Make it right. Kian stopped, looking to Oates once more. “Tomorrow. We should have a picnic tomorrow in the park like we used to back home. If you’re free that is. If this is going to happen…”
Kian trailed off again, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts.
“Look, maybe it’s the party talking or maybe it's one of those weird distance phenomena or some shit but whatever just caused that felt real.” Kian spoke, a strange sort of confidence in his voice. “So tomorrow at the park near the school. We’ll go on a picnic, don’t worry about bringing anything, just you. If this is going to happen, if we’re gonna happen, I’m gonna do it right this time. We both know you deserve a whole lot better than a cheap makeout on some random girl’s floor.”
Kian walked to the door, his hand resting on the doorknob for a moment as he looked down at his bare legs. Ah yes, the skirt, he’d need that. Grabbing the red fabric off the floor, Kian slung the skirt over his shoulder and gathered himself as he looked over his shoulder at Oates.
“Sleep on it. If you want to come, I’ll be at the park tomorrow at noon.”
With his final words, Kian twisted the doorknob and pulled the door open, disappearing into the crowd of the party.
The squeezing of the heart rattling around inside of his ribcage? Check.
Dizziness that fogged his mind and clouded his judgement? Check.
The tremble in his fingers that refused to stop no matter how many times he opened and closed a fist? Check.
Shortness of breath? Check.
The slightest tinge of nausea? Check.
See? All the symptoms line up! Kian was simply having a heart attack at the age of sixteen!
If it was a heart attack, Kian could simply chew a few Aspirin and drag his sorry ass to the hospital where he’d get hooked up to some machine. If it was a heart attack, Kian could excuse all the weird things he had said and done that night (“I was having a heart attack, bro, I totally don’t even remember hopping around stuck in my sister’s skirt”). If it was a heart attack, although relatively unlikely, Kian wouldn’t feel bad about someone coming to his pathetic rescue.
But if it wasn’t a heart attack? Well that would simply mean that the boy was so nervous that he felt like he was going to vomit, faint, and then consequently die all at the same time and oh boy, Kian Phelan did not do nervousness.
Pandora’s box had been foolishly opened and for a brief moment, Kian wondered if he could snap it back shut. Surely if he took the brunt of whatever shit show was headed his way from Oates that nothing bad would happen to anyone else that evening. Surely if he got his heart broken now, he could stop feeling guilty every time he saw the other boy’s face or heard his voice. Surely if everything got fucked up one last time, Oates could finally move on.
"Do you remember that time when we were racing on that school trip and fell into that whole mud puddle thing?"
Kian’s eyes snapped over to Oates, the anxiety clear on the clenched muscles in his jaw. Of course he remembered that trip, how could he forget? That trip had been the highlight of freshman year! Sure his hip was bruised for like a week and yeah his mom totally got on his ass for coming home covered in crusted mud and he probably got some sort of disease from literally inhaling a decent chunk of mud right into his lungs but that day, Kian could not have been happier.
Oh fuck, why was Oates coming closer? Scoot away, Kian, scoot away!
Lovely, he couldn’t move. How brilliant.
"It was when I first did this."
Kian’s eyes widened slightly as Oates leaned in and before Kian could even register what was happening, their lips were parting. Kian looked down to his raised hand that had been moving to pull Oates in closer, to keep that connection from breaking apart. Quickly dropping his hand to his lap, Kian’s jaw clenched again as he looked over Oates. Was he drunk? High? Did he hit his head? Was he the one having the heart attack?
“I-”
Kian stopped, trying to formulate a coherent thought as his lower lip caught between his teeth.
“You-”
What was the dude trying to do? Recite all the vowels in the English alphabet? Get a grip my man.
“Us-”
Kian shook his head. No, something wasn’t right. None of this was right. It had been years since the last time they kissed, years since the last time they touched, years since the last time they had even spoken. Kian had played various scenes over and over in his head those years trying to figure out in what strange universe he would ever cross paths with Oates again. He’d come up with a few strange scenarios, the oddest being their reunion after decades as they fled from the burning planet of Earth on some sort of weird rocketship to Mars where they were planning on rehabilitating the human race (PCP is one hell of a drug).
In none of those scenarios, in all of those hours of endless daydreaming that always left Kian with a stomach full of regret, did he ever imagine that he’d be sitting on the floor of a guest room in some random L.A. chick’s house half naked in his sister’s clothes kissing Oates who, although as cute as always, looked like a demon about to eat his soul. Even that seemed a touch too outlandish for the boy.
“Oates…” Kian trailed off, his face softening as his gaze drifted down to his lips and back up to his eyes. A soft smile began to form on the corners of Kian’s lips as years of memories flooded back to him, things he had fought to repress and forget, things that caused too much pain to think about. Their first hello, their last goodbye, every obstacle and uplift and war and victory in between.
Kian didn’t know what the hell he was doing, his mind had shut off moments before he rocked forwards and softly captured Oates’ face between his calloused hands, their lips moving in a familiar harmony that Kian had forgotten existed. It was new and old, bitter and sweet all at the same time.
Some nagging voice told him to stop as his hands pulled Oates closer, the two sinking further to the floor with Kian’s sudden movements. Kian didn’t want to stop. Fuck it, he wasn’t going to stop. There had been others since Oates left, people that felt shallow and cold in comparison to the bright light that he was currently intertwined with, people that left him longing for someone he couldn’t have anymore. Kian had been waiting for this for so damn long...
This was a mistake, Oates deserved better. Everything was wrong yet everything felt right. How very teen-romance movie cliche of him.
The fog that had been clouding his thoughts lifted in an instant and Kian pulled away with a gasp for air, his hands still Oates’ side underneath his shirt. Carefully pulling his hands away, Kian physically distanced himself as he shuffled back slightly. Reaching his thumb up to dab at a spot on his lower lip, Kian then scrambled to his feet.
“I’m sorry. Fuck man, I shouldn’t have done that. Not that I didn’t want to because I really did but not here, not like this. You deserve so much better than whatever the hell that was, you deserve the whole damn world after what I did to you. Fuck.” Kian ranted and rambled as he nervously began to pace, his fingers tapping anxious rhythms on the inside of his palm. Think dammit, think! Make it right. Kian stopped, looking to Oates once more. “Tomorrow. We should have a picnic tomorrow in the park like we used to back home. If you’re free that is. If this is going to happen…”
Kian trailed off again, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts.
“Look, maybe it’s the party talking or maybe it's one of those weird distance phenomena or some shit but whatever just caused that felt real.” Kian spoke, a strange sort of confidence in his voice. “So tomorrow at the park near the school. We’ll go on a picnic, don’t worry about bringing anything, just you. If this is going to happen, if we’re gonna happen, I’m gonna do it right this time. We both know you deserve a whole lot better than a cheap makeout on some random girl’s floor.”
Kian walked to the door, his hand resting on the doorknob for a moment as he looked down at his bare legs. Ah yes, the skirt, he’d need that. Grabbing the red fabric off the floor, Kian slung the skirt over his shoulder and gathered himself as he looked over his shoulder at Oates.
“Sleep on it. If you want to come, I’ll be at the park tomorrow at noon.”
With his final words, Kian twisted the doorknob and pulled the door open, disappearing into the crowd of the party.