simj26
Awful, Terrible, No-good Layabout
JacobHe did it! He was a genius! There was no way that hussy could beat him in terms of genius! She was cute! She was so cute! Look at her shining black hair! Her totally radical pigtails that were almost as perfect as hers! Mysterious purple eyes, super smooth skin, and half a head shorter than he was, too! She was perfect! She was cute! She was everything he wanted to see when he pulled that card from the summon! A Saber would have been nice, but a Caster this cute was too difficult to pass up! The other Servants could be cute too, but this Servant was his, and that was all that mattered! A cacophonous internal yelp of victory resounded through his head as he watched her roam about the room, her curious eyes studying the decor, a goofy smile upon his face. When she finally stopped in her reconnaisance, and approached him, he was suddenly aware that he was still on the floor on his fours. Hurriedly, he straightened his transition glasses and sprang to his feet.
“Lovecraft?” he echoed after her, folding his arms across his chest, his eyes cast towards the now expired summoning circle, deep in thought. THE Howard Phillips Lovecraft? That can’t be right. There was no way she could be him. He had heard of strange magicks being used to disguise a woman as a man in certain legends, but he doubted that was in play here. Did she perhaps mean…
“No way,” he muttered, his eyes widening behind his glasses, as he turned to face his Servant. “No way. You’re Sonia Greene?” His thoughts froze, the gears in his mind stopped turning, and he stalled in his realisation. A second passed, and his face morphed into one of horrified understanding, and he let out a small squeak of disappointment. “Whaaaaaaaat?! You’re married to H.P. Lovecraft?!” His hands leapt to his hair, and ruffled through them aggressively as he tried to process this. “How?! How did he manage to score such a cute girl like you?! Goodness me, this is driving me up the wall! I can’t believe some weirdo managed to outfox me in the realms of love!” He let out a strangled cry of a mix of exasperation and pain as his hair got wilder with every second of his rampage against it.
He stopped in his exasperation when he realised that his Servant was still looking at him. He coughed and cleared his throat, running his hand across his hair, smoothing it back just a little bit, taming the unruly mess by just an iota. “I, uh, yes, that is right. We will be working together.” He took his gloves that he had removed earlier, then tugged them onto his hands, before smoothing down his shirt and vest. In that second alone, his disposition changed, his body suddenly standing upright and the air of regality exuding from his composed self. “I am Jacob Julius Rinehart, heir to the Rinehart family.” He walked over to where he had hung his jacket and coat, and started to draw them over his body, the jacket first. “Here’s the situation as it stands. We are being dispatched to remove certain unneeded Servants, which only exist due to,” he paused and tugged at his jacket, and glanced down at his tie, which was still loosened around his neck, “certain oversights. Only then are we allowed to start this war proper. Of course, this doesn’t mean that some people might fall down due to unfortunate accidents.” He did the topmost button of his shirt, then straightened his tie properly. He looked up, straight at his Servant, a wry smile on his face. A flash of mischievous gold flickered across his eyes, before they returned to their normal colour. He took a step towards Caster.
Then he clasped her hands in his, a look of absolute adoration in his face. “Tell me, Caster! How do you look so CUTE? And how did Lovecraft manage to win over such a wonderful lady such as yourself? I can’t bear to hear it, but I MUST hear it! It just isn’t fair! The cute university grads won't even look me in the eye! I'm as young as they are, but they just won't even talk to me at the water cooler!”
The One Eyed Bandit
“Lovecraft?” he echoed after her, folding his arms across his chest, his eyes cast towards the now expired summoning circle, deep in thought. THE Howard Phillips Lovecraft? That can’t be right. There was no way she could be him. He had heard of strange magicks being used to disguise a woman as a man in certain legends, but he doubted that was in play here. Did she perhaps mean…
“No way,” he muttered, his eyes widening behind his glasses, as he turned to face his Servant. “No way. You’re Sonia Greene?” His thoughts froze, the gears in his mind stopped turning, and he stalled in his realisation. A second passed, and his face morphed into one of horrified understanding, and he let out a small squeak of disappointment. “Whaaaaaaaat?! You’re married to H.P. Lovecraft?!” His hands leapt to his hair, and ruffled through them aggressively as he tried to process this. “How?! How did he manage to score such a cute girl like you?! Goodness me, this is driving me up the wall! I can’t believe some weirdo managed to outfox me in the realms of love!” He let out a strangled cry of a mix of exasperation and pain as his hair got wilder with every second of his rampage against it.
He stopped in his exasperation when he realised that his Servant was still looking at him. He coughed and cleared his throat, running his hand across his hair, smoothing it back just a little bit, taming the unruly mess by just an iota. “I, uh, yes, that is right. We will be working together.” He took his gloves that he had removed earlier, then tugged them onto his hands, before smoothing down his shirt and vest. In that second alone, his disposition changed, his body suddenly standing upright and the air of regality exuding from his composed self. “I am Jacob Julius Rinehart, heir to the Rinehart family.” He walked over to where he had hung his jacket and coat, and started to draw them over his body, the jacket first. “Here’s the situation as it stands. We are being dispatched to remove certain unneeded Servants, which only exist due to,” he paused and tugged at his jacket, and glanced down at his tie, which was still loosened around his neck, “certain oversights. Only then are we allowed to start this war proper. Of course, this doesn’t mean that some people might fall down due to unfortunate accidents.” He did the topmost button of his shirt, then straightened his tie properly. He looked up, straight at his Servant, a wry smile on his face. A flash of mischievous gold flickered across his eyes, before they returned to their normal colour. He took a step towards Caster.
Then he clasped her hands in his, a look of absolute adoration in his face. “Tell me, Caster! How do you look so CUTE? And how did Lovecraft manage to win over such a wonderful lady such as yourself? I can’t bear to hear it, but I MUST hear it! It just isn’t fair! The cute university grads won't even look me in the eye! I'm as young as they are, but they just won't even talk to me at the water cooler!”
The One Eyed Bandit
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