Eradication

Sen Pai

Sen Pai

I'm back, baby.

<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/Eradication.png.185241b7bff63a86a6f7f325a58a561d.png" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20687" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/Eradication.png.185241b7bff63a86a6f7f325a58a561d.png" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>


Welcome to "Eradication". This is a realistic post apocalyptic roleplay that took less than 24 hours approximately two months to create. It is an interactive roleplay where the decisions you make affect the environment around you. Please make sure you have a good understanding about what this roleplay is. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me through the PMs or the OOC thread! Thank you for showing interest in "Eradication".


Moderators: @Darth Pai [/size]

​



Code: 
[center]Insert picture of character appearance here; "anime" only.[/center]



[center][tabs][tab=Name]Insert character's name here.[/tab]
[tab=Gender]Insert character's gender here; male or female. Contact me through the PMs if you want to choose anything else.[/tab]
[tab=Age]Insert character's age here. Love Harvest requires that they must be 18-28. Contact me through the PMs if you want to choose anything else.[/tab]
[tab=Class]Insert character's class here; Lower Class, Middle Class, Upper Class. Contact me through the PMs if you want to choose anything else.[/tab]
[tab=Appearance Notes]Please note any features about your character; basics would be height and weight.[/tab]
[tab=Personality]Please describe what your character acts like and why. Remember, no Mary Sues.[/tab]
[tab=History]Feel free to split this part up in tabs differently to fit your character's life events.[/tab][/tabs][/center]

Or for those who would like a less bulky character application;


Appearance (replace "Appearance" with picture and center it; "anime" only please)


Name: (self explainable)


Gender: (male or female)


Age: (Insert character's age here. Love Harvest requires that they must be 18-28. Contact me through the PMs if you want to choose anything else)


Class: (insert character's class here; Lower Class, Middle Class, Upper Class. Contact me through the PMs if you want to choose anything else)


Appearance Notes: (please note any features about your character; basics would be height and weight)


Personality: (please describe what your characters acts like and why. Remember, no Mary Sues)


History: (feel free to split this part up differently to fit your character's life events)

 

Attachments

  • Eradication.png
    Eradication.png
    72.8 KB · Views: 319
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm totally up for this, it sounds like it could be a lit of fun. I've been dying to get into a good role play for ages!!!
 
I could have never put this much thought into a roleplay, so of course I'm going to want to join this masterpiece. :D
 
Name: Jane Romano


Gender: female


Age: 18


Class: Middle Class


Appearance Notes: Long brown hair and brown eyes. 5'10 and 130lbs (Usualy wearing a pink tank top and black pants)


Personality: Kind, witty, charming, all around pleasant to be around. Strong willed and cunning, a good soul and a decent mind with good intentions. She's good ans true, and always ready to fight for those who can't.


History: Her mother died giving birth to her, and her father was found brutally murdered one morning, clutching a note written in blood, her past isn't her favorite topic. Which is why it's unknown to most people.<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/animegirl.jpg.5215afcaf8167f13784f0889538d6665.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20777" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/animegirl.jpg.5215afcaf8167f13784f0889538d6665.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

 

Attachments

  • animegirl.jpg
    animegirl.jpg
    56.3 KB · Views: 11

th

​




Name:


Levi Rose


Gender:


Male


Age:


20


Class:


Lower Class, after the passing of his father.


Appearance Notes:


Not much is known about Levi's appearance except for those who mark his health as in the government and scientist.


From those who stand beside him in his quarantine nothing is known of his ethnicity, though he does have a mixed heritage born from a Korean mother and a American father who had supposedly destined for together due to their information.


As seen in the most current photo of him he has somewhat long hair for a boy. Usually pushed back and out of his 'face' in a slicked manner, originally white but has lately been earning himself chunks of silver. Levi's choice in clothing won't be very noticeably usually seen in dull and surprisingly clean apparel. His father actually being one of the scientist he is mainly seen in his fathers lab coat along with his mothers yellow scarf no matter the occasion.


Levi stands at the tall but a bit short height of 5'8'' his skinny and semi muscular build making him the weight of 166 lbs at the moment. Many scars can be seen littered over his body due to the circumstances of his life in the lower class sector.


Personality:

​



Levi enjoys living in peace, which the quarantine has offered him the closest life style to this. He prefers to lead a simple life, rather than engaging in outrageous activities. His appreciation for an average life is one of the many reasons he remains in the Lower Class. This isn't to say that he's the embodiment of peace and quiet, but he does have an appreciation for it.


He is a generally calm individual, which coincides with his preferred lifestyle. He is able to keep his cool more then the average person, but he is not completely composed at all times. Like all people, he can tend to lose his composure and loose calmness. This isn't in a sense of anger, but more in the area of being baffled by certain situations. While anger is an emotion he hardly experiences, it can always take hold of him when pushed too far. However, that would require a great deal of pushing.


As a result of his focus on education as a child, Levi is very intelligent. His knowledge is not limited to studies, as he possesses a great deal of street smarts. Although he doesn't intend to use the ability, has a knack for strategy development. The strategies he creates aren't always traditional, as he enjoys creating unique and innovative plans. All of this requires a great deal of insight, which he thankfully has. Things like philosophy come naturally to him and he has a talent for expressing his thoughts in a small group through small sentences. Although he possesses a great mind the, he is not omnipotent. No one can truly know what will always happen next and he is no exception to this.


Levi is an accepting person and will not pass judgement on others. Despite tendencies to slightly overreact to wild situations, he eventually comes to accept them. No matter how much he may disagree with someone or become offput by what they say or do, he will never judge them and write them off. Unless someone does something truly barbaric or out of line, he will always be accepting of them. However, if he truly disapproves of something or someone, he will let his opposition be known and do what he feels is right.


Along with his acceptance of others, Levi is a kind and caring person. He will never truly act rudely unless something or someone truly warrants it. He is generally polite to everyone and tries his best to be respectful. He is willing to help anyone, even without fully knowing the situation, but he will hesitate if he gets a bad feeling. Along with his caring personality, Levi is also quite protective.


Levi is protective of those he cares for and almost anybody he meets. There are many people who have already lost their lives to the growing disease so violence is personally useless to him. Only taking part in a rumble if it where needed in the situation if not he'll merely slip into the crowd or tell the others to scram in his persuasive voice. Raised to be cautious he is that exactly, never one to trust easy or to enter a situation before inspecting the scene and looking over his own personal skills to see if it would be possible for him to help or to do anything at that point.


History(Birth to Love Harvest):


Levi was born 20 years ago on the stormy night of November 23 during the already large epidemic, his father a scientist studying the progression of the disease as his over protective mother worked at home as a mother causing him to raised among the Upper class. But he was raised like many others within the Lower Class walls taught to be grateful for what you have and to work for what you want. Levis face was always hidden behind his famous gas mask that no one else seemed to find necessary to wear.


Everything was moving rather smoothly for their conditions until his father began coughing him and his mother attempted to mask it but only succeeded this task for two days until the government noticed what he claimed where mere allergies. Instantly token away never seen by anyone's eyes again even today he hasn't seen the man. This only made Levis mother more paranoid allowing him to never leave his side until he finally explained his need of space and adventure at the age of 15. This seemingly smacked some sense into his mother but they became more distant from each other until at some point no words where transferred at all.


Levi attended school like anyone being educated in science much like his father, hoping to help the department since he knew his small build would never survive in the military. Getting straight A's the type of grades any parent would be proud of but his mother still didn't speak a word to him.


History(Love Harvest to Present):


It was the day in which any young lady or man have looked forward to at some point in their lives and it seemed to sneak up on him. The Love Harvest. And he had been prepared to make it special by finally removing his mask on that day in front of his future lover. He was at the age of 19 the girl he met the same age, Louise Randal Clear. A small timid girl who though her small exterior wouldn't allow anyone to talk bad about someone she cares for.


She was a great young girl who when he explained the use of the mask and began to reach for the neck line of it she stopped him. Her fragile fingers caressing his hand as if they had known one another since young. Stating in her small voice,


'You won't be able to see my gown till the wedding, it would only be fair if it stayed hidden till then even though I can barely hold myself.'


Her words made Levi believe that the scientists statistics where truly correct that their information was very valid. He couldn't have met a better girl, both of them hoping for a very small wedding only allowing family and friends to come like any other.


It was perfect, they where inseparable and though many people found it out Louise enjoyed the sight of the mysterious mask only reminding them of their promise from their first day together.


But a mere month after finding out Louise was pregnant did she fell terribly ill, barely able to stand and walk within their home. Just like his father Levi would try his hardest to keep his love with him despite the risks. When she was well enough they'd joke about how ridiculous they where, like another sob love story. In fact it had been their last conversation until a neighbor caught sight of the dying women and reported her to the government.


There where screams, pleas, tears, violence as the military busted into their home having to hold Levi down as they retrieved his lover taking her away. In which Levi fell in a depression of he continued to yell throwing his gas mask a cross the world causing one of the lenses to shatter.


He couldn't do anything, the one person he had left was stolen.


(I apologize if anything is incorrect, just tell me and I'll fix it :) )
 
Last edited by a moderator:

<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/140304105546382.jpeg.c99bc1e06380fd48a85c33ad0d109877.jpeg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20775" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/140304105546382.jpeg.c99bc1e06380fd48a85c33ad0d109877.jpeg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>


(The original picture is made by Yuumei, creator of Fisheye Placebo. I only changed the colour of one of her eyes)

​




Name: Raven Leos

​




​


Gender: Female


Age: 18


Class: Lower class


Appearance Notes: 5'9 ~ 138 lbs ~ Has heterochromia (Pretty obvious in the picture) ~ Strong, slightly boyish build ~ Doesn't wear shoes if she can help it.


Personality: Raven's a generally nice girl, always willing to help or support people who can't help themselves. She isn't really good at social kinds of things, what with only really having her brother as a friend, and is cautions before trusting someone. If you can force her to talk to you, and spend time with you, then she'll open up. She's caring, but can push herself too hard, even if it's for someone she cares about.


Raven can also be a bit reckless, and is usually the person to do something no one else will, such as something stupid, scary, or dangerous. But, she's brave. Not afraid to stand up to people, whether their older than her, stronger than her, or of higher class than her. Whoever they are, if she thinks they're wrong or unjust, she will challenge them.


History: Raven's parents were always off on one job or another, so she and her twin brother Wren were alone quite a bit. They were inseparable, her and Wren. They were each-others best friend.


When they turned 16, their mother suddenly started obsessing over the Love harvest. She would rant about how they needed to be perfect.


Raven's father had always been a bit... Unappreciative. Especially of their mother. Both had been unhappy with their marriage, and it showed. Raven and her brother would talk for hours about it. How their mother got more and more anxious. How she and their father would have hushed discussions about the love harvest. The last conversation they overheard, their father had straight out said: "I will not let your genes drag my children down."


The thing is, is that their mother had perfectly good genetics. Almost ideal, even. But, that's not the way their father saw it. He found fault in everything their mother did. If she dropped a plate, she was too clumsy. If she burned her hands she was careless. He would complain that his children were getting bad habits from their mother, but never him. He was quite sure of his own genetic capability.


Raven slowly grew more and more terrified of the oncoming day, and became distant, burying herself in her music. The only thing she felt she was allowed to be herself through, was music. It was always there for her, like her brother, but was spontaneous, creative, random. Oh how she craved random. Things that weren't all planned out, or carefully monitored.


Raven is waiting. Waiting for the day where she didn't feel like her every move is carefully planned.


A day where the weight of Eradication is no longer looming over her shoulders.

 

Attachments

  • 140304105546382.jpeg
    140304105546382.jpeg
    96.6 KB · Views: 287
Last edited by a moderator:
1383374345_8292_full.jpeg



Name: Masaki Riaru


Gender: Male


Age: 23


Class: Upper Class


Appearance Notes: 5"8 height, weighs 175.


Masaki has a gaunt, pallid face and green eyes. He is of slender- almost weedy- build, but training in the familly gym has left him athletic enough to not be a weakling.


Personality: Masaki's privileged life in the upper class has left him detached from the rest of the population, making his often struggle to empathise with the plight of those who have less than himself. Despite this Masaki is doggedly loyal to his allies, even if these allies are rarely also friends due to his vain and shallow nature. Behind the unpleasant exterior however, Masaki wants to do the right thing, and has the money tobe able to make a rapid difference in the world.


History: Masaki born into privilege, and lead most of his life wanting for nothing. However the price of riches is steep, and Masaki barely saw either parent throughout his childhood- both of whom were working- and so was raised by a series of babysitters and distant relations. After studying at private school, Masaki went on to become a corporate lawyer, and currently works for several high profile companies. (I'll fill the rest in IC, if thats okay- I prefer to work things out as I go along.)
 


military_guy_by_stellarstatelogic-d613rfm.png



  • Oscar Dermott
 
Last edited by a moderator:
tumblr_llj53pjznv1qcd5v4o1_500.jpg




  • Nairi "Nai" Sekrezky


​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
images



And the sniper rifle Artis uses.


images



Name: Artis Latharnach


Gender: Female


Age: 23


Class: Military- Sector B, Corporal


Appearance Notes: 139 CM(Four foot seven inches imperial) and 6 stone(84 pounds imperial). She has quite a toned musculature, but not overly obvious.


Personality: Somewhat detached from the standard going ons of the world, Artis specifically seem s to be ignorant of the troubles of the world. Artis keeps a generally happy attitude, and doesn't let a lot get to her. Serious when needed, she has an understanding that with how limited life can be, taking things as coolly as possible . When not working her job or working out, Artis usually finds herself aimlessly walking for the sake of walking. Despite trying her best to stay happy, Artis has anger issues and is somewhat lonely. She occasionally spends time at a nearby pub.


Main named Positive traits would be 'Optimistic, Lighthearted, Loyal, Friendly' and negative traits would be 'Short Temper, Seemingly ignorant of real world problems, depressed by her trouble connecting and making friends.'


History: Born to low class parents of Scottish heritage, both fell ill with something, whether it was a deadly virus or a simple cold unknown, and they took their own lives immediately, fearing they would endanger their thirteen year old daughter. Having already been training for her dream of joining the military Artis' skill was quickly noted by officials when trying to find her a foster home.


Placed on a list of potential recruits, Artis joined up at seventeen and quickly proved her exceptional skill with a rifle. Rising through the ranks of marksmen Artis was placed in a squad focused on long range eliminations. She made an amazing name for herself up until she beat the hell out of her squad leader after being ordered to open fire on a group of teenage protesters(At the age of twenty one).


For defying a superior officers orders and assault on a superior officer they originally planned to have Artis executed, but the intervention of a higher up belayed the order and had Artis placed in special operations group.(I can make a group if you don't already have one made).


Once part of the special operations group Artis flourished, and her skills were put to great use. Despite not getting along with her squad outside of operations, Artis has managed to keep her cool with them and work efficiently. Taking out armed threats to her home, Artis felt that she was making a true difference and has never looked back.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/image.jpg.43355fd3a47f4b3f7b2e6c433267fa54.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20801" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/image.jpg.43355fd3a47f4b3f7b2e6c433267fa54.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

​




  • Vincent Clara


​


 

Attachments

  • image.jpg
    image.jpg
    56.1 KB · Views: 259
Last edited by a moderator:

APPLICANTS:


Use this as a sample/model for the depth of your character profiles. It need not be quite as exhaustive as mine (or Lucem's above mine) but it needs to be well-articulated. Please remember that myself, Ayl, and Pai will select the best applicants for the RP- not the quickest to reply. Think of your character sheet as a first impression; it should be indicative of your writing style and vernacular.


Thank you!!!


zan_by_sakimichan-d4qbr99.jpg


​




  • Skye Yoona Park


​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/profiles_me_3757_637403.jpeg.f96c34a97d1866aa4608082b68bb8c06.jpeg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20830" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/profiles_me_3757_637403.jpeg.f96c34a97d1866aa4608082b68bb8c06.jpeg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

​



Name: Xavier Crane


Gender: Male


Age: 25


Class: Lower Class


Appearance Notes: 6'1" 220 lbs with an athletic build. Brown eyes and black hair, rarely sports a 5 o'clock shadow during a lazy day. Tries hard to dress down in order to hide his size as bigger guys tended to get stabbed during a fight in his neighborhood.


Personality: Xavier would try to have you believe that he's just a laid back asshole who doesn't really care for anything, and to a point it's true. But what most people learn is that he has a protective personality to him. If he perceives you as a friend, he will give you his absolute loyalty and friendship. True, he will bust balls every once in a while, but there's never any real malice behind his words. He is a strong believer in meritocracy, and when someone earns their way into the higher classes, they will have his respect. But he hates those who inherit their wealth with a passion, feeling that they don't deserve what they have, and this hatred is exemplified when these same individuals flaunt their wealth to those who don't possess any.


History: Literature has a funny way of helping someone view the world. Xavier loved to read growing up, since he and his family didn't have much else. He couldn't really complain though, compared to most people in his sector, he was living a life of luxury. He had both of his parents still alive and well, he and his younger brother never went hungry, and despite the...lackluster education system provided for people in his class, he was still able to read and write.


His father taught him the concept of hard work and earning your keep. No matter how hurt and tired he was, Xavier's father would get up every single morning before the crack of dawn to work transporting chemicals to the various refineries around the city. His mother taught him his love of literature and politics, and Xavier would constantly find himself wide awake at the middle of the night with his nose in whichever book was available to him at the time. History turned out to be his favorite subject and he soon found himself reading about ancient civilizations and their eventual downfalls.


Naturally this led him to question his own government, which naturally would mean elimination if he acted out of line. But he studied the system well and learned several ways to legally protest against government regulations. He made no secret of his disdain for the "Love Harvest" among his friends and family, but like a good little citizen he sat quietly through the process. He has yet to be "assigned" a suitable partner, and while he is indeed saddened that he is barred from pursuing his own romantic interests, he is also glad no woman is being forced into it. It was also his public political stances on the closing of the local health clinic that finally had him labeled as an "undesirable" by the government and he was soon closely watched. Luckily for him, he hadn't done anything worth elimination...yet. It was at this moment that he finally found a small hatred for his government, one that protects the wealthy and rewards those for simply being born into the proper class.

 

Attachments

  • profiles_me_3757_637403.jpeg
    profiles_me_3757_637403.jpeg
    19.3 KB · Views: 219
Last edited by a moderator:
Using tabs cause I'm fancy like that. Also I hope this is enough. If not I'll try to add.

Ikki_05.png




  • Flynn Woods


​
 
Last edited by a moderator:

So I heard you guys like big-ass Character Sheets. Well, here's the motherload of big-ass Character Sheets for ya' !

bd56190e-5e38-448c-869b-ded4bd7f989c_zpsffab7bc4.jpg






  • Jacob Reginald Thaddeus Morgan
 

39.jpg

Name: Caty (Pronounced: 'Saty')


Gender: Female


Age: Eighteen


Class: Middle Class


Appearance Notes: Her height is five feet, eleven inches; her weight's 130 pounds. Is always wearing a brown hoodie-jacket, even in summer. Just another average-looking person you meet on the streets. (Pretty much exactly like the picture above.) She looks completely different (if she can) when not under the surveillance of a camera, which happens to be never.


Personality: Just your average 'perfect' person, though a little secluded. Works, reads, eats, just like any other normal girl. She's a little snarky, but only when she's surrounded by complete idiots. She's almost always calm and collected. This all changes when the cameras and audio-recorders are shut off, of course. Despite being 'perfect', has always dreamed of being in complete freedom. Will be a friend to any person, no matter what background or anything else. Absolutely despises unfairness. She's very intelligent and knows a thing or two about the system. And by 'a thing or two', I mean basically everything there is to know on the matter. Too bad there's audio recorders following her all over the place, or she might just tell you a few things you'd be surprised about. Stuff that could get her killed. Stuff that could kill everybody.


Main History: Brought up just like any other person, she was raised to be ABSOLUTELY perfect, and had a pretty hard time acting the part. It was really hard to act perfect when you weren't perfect in the first place. She messed up early in childhood, and because of it, she's been watched like a hawk ever since. And, however rare it may be, her records were once lost. So, having no name, she was moved to Sector A. It also caused a few other problems, like how the government doesn't have any data on her for the Love Harvest other than DNA and footage.

​




The Slip-Up:


....A little girl, at the age of seven, is lying awake in bed at about 11:00. Tomorrow was her next mental checkup. She didn't want to go to her next mental checkup. Or anymore at all, for that matter. She begged and pleaded with her mother, and her father, but they wouldn't just let her stay home. It's not like they could, anyway. But she didn't really know that yet. So, she decided to just skip it. It's not like it could cause any harm, right? Wrong.


....First, she thought she could act like she was too tired. "No. They'll think I'm sick. If they think I'm sick, they'll kill me. That's what they said they do to sick people so that other people can't get sick. Well, I think it's a very horrible thing to do."


....Second, she thought she could hide. There must be somewhere she could hide away from the doctor-people, right? "No," she thought, "I've tried that before. They found me anyway. Daddy said that if I did it again, they'd take me away. I think he meant they'd kill me."


....Finally, she thought of running away. She could run away to somewhere they would NEVER find her. "No, that would never-" Her eyes widened as it dawned on her. It COULD work. She just had to figure out where to go, and what to bring. She knew where all the cameras were, anyway, she wouldn't be seen by anybody. But she couldn't tell her parents. She'd be back, anyway, no need to worry them.


....And so, she got ready to leave. She packed her toothbrush, some toothpaste, and some food. "No need to carry a ton of stuff with me... I won't be gone too long." She took her stuff in a little tiny pouch and, mouthing a silent goodbye to her sleeping parents, left.


....So many cameras. You don't even KNOW how many cameras. And she had to make sure not to be seen by ANY of them. Not that difficult, really. She squeezed and dodged her way through whatever in whichever way she went. And then MAGICAL RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS HAPPENED AND SHE FOUGHT NINJAS AND SHE FLEW TO A PUZZA PLANET AND SAVED THE NUGGET PEOPLE FROM MISTER FAT. (As you can see, I have become retarded and hopeless. God so help me) Sorry, I mean I'm GOOD at RP'ING, but I'm not too good at large backstories. I just need more time to work on this thing. Sorry. Here's the gist of The Slip-Up:


..She runs away to skip a MANDATORY mental checkup.


..She goes where she's not supposed to go (like to another section or area or whatever).


..She narrowly escapes getting caught.


..She goes even further.


..I dunno, shit happens.


..She finds a place that the public doesn't know about/some random government secret/some kind of insect or animal/some other kind of bullshit.


..Does something pertaining to that thing, with or without causing something to happen.


..Tries to get back home


..Shit happens


..Almost escapes getting caught.


..Gets caught


..Exclaims 'fak' or 'SHIT' or 'CRAP'


..Goes through some stuff, I dunno.


..(SKIPPING TO SORTA THE END)


..Her parents plead that she was taken away by some rogue.


..The judge or jury or whatever-kind-of-judging-body begrudgingly says that, so long as she's healthy and it doesn't happen again, she's free to go in custody with her parents.


..ON ONE CONDITION


..Because of the fact that she was even THERE must be continually watched to make SURE that it doesn't happen again (and to make sure she doesn't tell anybody about what she could've seen). 24/7/366 (for leap-year).


..This does not include extremely intimate moments such as reproduction, as being watched during such activities is always uncomfortable and the activities won't happen.


..(SOME CRAPPY CONCLUSION)


And that's the gist if The Slip-Up. Hope you enjoyed, please kill me with a nuke.

​
 
Last edited by a moderator:

APPLICANT REVIEWS


The following spoiler tabs contain the reviews for your character. Please open your designated spoiler tab and read the review written. Please do try to take the criticism well and remember that none of this is personal. I would also like to stress the fact that even if your review states that you need to improve your character, this does not mean you are not accepted. Vise versa. Even if the review says that your character is good, this does not mean you are accepted. Thank you for applying for "Eradication".


Note: These reviews are only for characters on the first page. @TheKaosophile

If the government found someone who was immune to the virus, they would be taken from the life they had and tested on to develop a cure. I don't know if that's what you meant when you said "immune" but that wouldn't be allowed in this roleplay. Not without my specific orders since that is a huge thing for this roleplay.


Overall, a good and balanced character! Great job. Also, thank you for applying for "Eradication".
 
I did want to say this: Keep in mind (as Pai said) that the virus is a HUGE deal. The government and military may squash dissidents with a little too much fervor at times, but human race is fighting for survival. You can say something like, "My character doesn't want to do the Love Harvest" but with a society that has dwindling numbers, the need to procreate is absolutely vital. The virus doesn't care if you want to spend the next three years finding the love of your life- it's ripping through the world. Imagine if the city you live in right now was the only city in the state and more people were dying than being born. Marriage has likely become a more pragmatic thing than romantic- after all, procreation isn't really done the old-fashioned way anymore! Our current society is growing despite many couples choosing to be childless; this one can't grant you the luxury of choice or the human race could be wiped out.


Hopefully that helps some of you flesh out your personality and history! All the 18 to 28-year-olds have a lot of responsibility thrust on their shoulders... they are being entrusted with something huge. And should your character select to rebel, they should be conscious that trying to avoid reproduction or pursuing violence might have devastating consequences if they do not act carefully. If they try to overthrow Love Harvest, who will keep the population growing faster than it is dying? What is the better solution? If the government/military is overthrown, who will rule/keep order to avoid violent deaths? What would be changed? How could science be improved? What sort of events in your character's life shaped these beliefs? Do they believe that society is doomed?
 
First off, thanks for the criticism- it really is great to learn what you can do to improve your rp. In regards to Eradication, if I were accepted I would of course post a substantial piece when required. However I understand that I'm new to the forum, and therefore something of an unknown quantity. I can only assure you that I am confident in my character and would have plenty to say should I be lucky enough to receive the opportunity.


Cheers,


Hellkite
 

THE FOLLOWING CHARACTER HAS BEEN SCRAPPED.


THANKS!


<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/0001.jpg.eeed46a47994e5993d75612b6dadda2e.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="20917" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/0001.jpg.eeed46a47994e5993d75612b6dadda2e.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>


  • #302596


    Aloysia V. Jacquelyn


​


 

Attachments

  • 0001.jpg
    0001.jpg
    35.1 KB · Views: 163
Last edited by a moderator:
Here goes nothing. :o


3abu4a6e.jpg



Name: Takeshi Oshiro


Gender: Male


Age: 18


Class: Lower Class


Appearance Notes:


- Height - 6 foot 0 inches


- Weight - 168 lbs


- Hair Color - Light Brown


- Eye Color - Black


- Other - A scar runs vertically up the inside of his forearm and ends as it touches his bicep, he has a tattoo of a camellia on the inside of his right wrist


Personality: Takeshi is respectful to most people he encounters. He is empathetic of others and he is caring, sometimes even for strangers. Takeshi can also get aggressively defensive when it comes to those he loves, especially over his younger sister, Kyoko. He is hardworking and unbending when it comes to important matters. Takeshi manages to uphold his father's moral values which he believes he has inherited along with responsibility of his family. Takeshi will help anybody in need as long as it is for an ultimately good purpose. He can get angry but his temper is never really a problem. Takeshi also finds himself impartial to conflicts. He likes peace and completeness. Perhaps subconsciously, this represents a parallel desire for a hopeless restoration of his family.


Strengths: Loyal, able-bodied, street smart, diligent, hardened by his teenage years, caring.


Weaknesses: is socially inexperienced, has a difficult time trusting others, can come off as rude, has insomnia, is neutral to a war, has no real goals or pursuits, is just trying to get by


History: Takeshi was born on May 6 to Mr. Daisuke and Mrs. Hanako Oshiro, a lead virologist and humble housewife respectively at Yata Providence Hospital. Growing up, his parents encouraged him under a monotheistic faith. Young Takeshi admired his father for numerous reasons but primarily for his father's way of telling stories. Mr. Oshiro was a skilled raconteur. Through fantastic plots and anecdotes rich with wonderful ideas, Takeshi absorbed this mental fuel and flowed creatively in the form of art and writing. He showed precocious talents for talking, writing, and drawing. He had many friends in school for his charisma and his skills as an artist, both on paper and in speech.


Takeshi also loved his mother and her dedication to them. She always cared for them (Takeshi and Kyoko) when they were sick, made school lunches for them, and comforted them during frightening and troubling times. Despite the factor that his parents had not chosen each other, Takeshi understood a love from his mother that was nothing more than unconditional.


One lesson young Takeshi didn't really grasp, was when his father would advise, against what Takeshi considered common sense, to love your enemies. It would be years before Takeshi finally understood this concept, especially after experiencing the hostilities of man that resulted in his father's death.


In a lavish one master bedroom, four bedroom, four bathroom, private movie theatre, butterfly stairs, and Egyption tiled Spanish villa with a composite tennis court, an in-ground Infinity Pool, and a separate workshed/three car garage, Takeshi lived in luxury in his younger years.


All that would change at age 8 when Takeshi's father died in a train bombing, orchestrated by an anti-Upper Class extremist group. At his passing, the Oshiro family's main source of income ceased, and as a result, they were moved from their Upper Class District to a Lower Class District in which the Oshiros currently reside.


He left behind his friends and was unable to make new ones due to his background as once being an Upper. Many of the kids his age harassed him and bullied him for his history as an Upper Class citizen. He lived a lonely childhood; never being allowed out for his mother's fear of the Virus. He found friendship in Kyoko and they became very close, but that was about it.


The Oshiros' financial situation had become desperate so at age 10, Takeshi found a job to operate machinery at a construction factory for an under the table, less-than-minimum-wage rate. By doing this, he helped his mother, who had gotten two busy jobs to try and fill in for the large loss of income Takeshi's father used to provide. His mother, who was against the idea, discovered what he did and demanded he quit for his safety. After a long and heated argument, Takeshi managed to convince his reluctant mother he was able and he would be safe when he worked.


At age 12, during the day he went to middle school and afterwards, he would go to work to lift construction equipment. Prolonged labor in his employment quickly produced a fit and conditioned body. Takeshi also went into bboying/breakdancing for self-expression and to pass the time. He found himself physically, naturally, and rhythmically fit for the task.


As time went by, he began to see how divided the world truly was. He saw two very different perspectives on life. One side valued the preservation of the human race, if it meant quarantining the sick and in many cases, military force to control them. The other side was against this system of containment and focused on the freedoms and care of the Lower Class people.


At age 16, during his junior year, Takeshi joined a gang of troublemakers called The Steel Biters, of which he partook in some of their dirty work. This included robbery and assault among other illegal acts. This group was the the closest thing to friends he had ever acquired but he left (with two others he acquainted himself with) a year later when his mother fell ill. The doctors detained her but they concluded it wasn't the Nitrum Virus and placed her in a hospital until she got better. She still resides there and Takeshi visits his mother often.


With both his parents gone, Takeshi devoted his life to keep what was left of his family from falling into poverty. He still goes to high school but he'll be finished soon. His younger sister joined one of the many rebellious cells in the Lower Class against his advice. Similar to how his mother wanted him to leave his first job, Takeshi looks down upon Kyoko's association with the rebels and constantly tells her to leave them be.


As the Love Harvest nears, Takeshi doesn't know who or what to expect. The concept of finding a genetic soulmate disturbs him. He predicts he will find it hard to accept a destiny of a future that lies solely in the DNA of two, unrelated individuals despite the desperate need for it.


(If there's anything I need to change or add, I'll make sure to edit the application until he is fit for consideration)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sorry I was so slow on this but meh, procrastination is a silver-tongued devil!


Anyhow, here's what I scrapped up. Keep in mind I kinda suck at this, so feel free to throw tomatoes at me. *pulls out umbrella*


@Skys KouhaiChan

"Nairi is what some people from lower classes would call, "ungrateful."


". Why is she ungrateful for? She cares about their plight and wishes to help them. Ungrateful towards her parents? They are self-absorbed greedy persons who neither take the time to properly look after her nor anyone else for that matter. As I see it, she has every right to be offended and to try and right things.


Not much bad other than that, although a rather simplistic history. But if Pai likes it, it's good with me!


@Veirrianna Valentine





“Both fell ill with something, whether it was a deadly virus or a simple cold unknown, and they took their own lives immediately, fearing they would endanger their thirteen year old daughter.” Some shitty parents, right there. But what irks me is that she simply stood there, doing nothing, like „Oh, my parents are dead. Who will cook me food now?!”. I think you should add a reaction or something, what she felt, how did that affect her? Did it screw her up? Or is she just so cold and uncaring, or maybe hated her parents cuz they did something to her that upsetted/made her hate them? Play around that


„Having already been training for her dream of joining the military Artis' skill was quickly noted by officials when trying to find her a foster home.” Why was she noticed? Did she go all Rambo on them or something? Who trained her? Be specific, where does a 13 yo girl get military trainning and what trainning did she get? Also, WHY did she want to join the military, what inspired her, how did she figure that would be a good idea?


„Taking out armed threats to her home, Artis felt that she was making a true difference and has never looked back. „ doesn’t really correspond with” Seemingly ignorant of real world problems”. You either care and want to make a difference, or just don’t give a damn, know what I’m sayin’ ?


Also, anger issues. Why? How’d she get them? What happens when she’s angry, how she reacts, what is she capable of doing when angry? Stuff like that doesn’t seem important at first but it matters in the long run.


Despite those I’d say minor things, overall a good CS.


@Lucem Tenebris





No comment. Exceptional CS, I’m really impressed. There is no lack of detail, the only thing that might be a little of ist hat your sister survived so long with a Virus that is supposed to kill you rather instantly. Even more, survived so long with no proffesional health care and so on. But you can always redo that part.


@Syrenrei





Just aweful!


@X07





I see you righted the part where you rejected the Love Harvest, which is all good. A nice CS overall, detailed History and Personality, good examples to sustain why are things they way they are.


One thing though. “He is also glad no woman is being forced into it”. Into what? The Love Harvest? Yes they are. It’s an obligation for both males and


@Flabbysaurus





Very many spelling errors and few grammar ones. Detailed History and personality although they could’ve been better IMHO. Overall acceptable CS.


@Ayl





Duuuuuuuude, you’re like, the king of CSs Owo! I wish I could be like you!


@Caty





Not only are your Personality and History sections TOO SHORT, you are very ambiogous about both of them.


„Brought up just like any other person, happens to be nothing like any other person” …wut?! That doesn’t even…


„She slipped up early in childhood, and because of it, she's been watched like a hawk ever since.” WHAT did she do? How did she do it? Why did she do it? With who did she do it? And „like a hawk” ? Again, wut?! Since when do people watch hawks. Either bad word choice, or bad phrasing. Fix it up


„But other than those facts, she has just about the same past as everyone else.” Everyone is different in their own way, so you can’t say you are like „everybody else”. Too ambigous, detail it please.


„Too bad there's audio recorders following her all over the place, or she might just tell you a few things you'd be surprised about.” To be so monitorised, the „slip-up” must’ve been pretty serious, which emphasises the need for it to be revealed even more!
 
proxy_soldier_rogue_sheet_by_digitalinkrod-d4ynu6f.jpg



Weapon of choice:


TheShotgun.jpg



  • Hans Grøngaard


​
 
Last edited by a moderator:

"This character has huge knockers!" - Syrenrei


<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/0002.png.6431ef564aa022fc9179c10931827f0b.png" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="21066" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2014_06/0002.png.6431ef564aa022fc9179c10931827f0b.png" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>


  • Emilia G. Jarvis


​


 

Attachments

  • 0002.png
    0002.png
    251.2 KB · Views: 115
Last edited by a moderator:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Back
Top