LONELYRAIN
not so lonely
Signs Of Love - Persona 4 OST
As light as his burden felt now, Haru's body only begged to differ. Sharp pains shooting through not only his bad leg, but his good one as well, his feet protesting at the pressure of his own weight. In all honesty, Haru perhaps was unused to pushing himself physically so hard, especially considering it had been three years since his body was even in such dire straits. Hunger gnawed at his stomach, causing his head to spin as he forced down the urge to vomit, sucking in deep breaths and slowly exhaling. I should have ate before I left. A tiny regret he held, but once that he could rectify later, preparations were needed first... even if the harsh sun did little to improve his deteriorating health. There was a heaviness, unnaturally so in his limbs, one that he thought would have eased with him getting some more rest during the night, however it remained the same - drained of energy, of vigor.
Nonetheless, he held onto his stubbornness, not allowing himself to show much of his unnatural gait, with the smallest of steps that he would place one in front of the other. Soon, his destination lay in wait, and with it the man had let a heavy sigh of relief to pass his lips. The man's eyes shifted to the fabric bag he'd snatched up before he would forget, the one containing Mitsuko's hairpin, a determined set coming to his jaw as he raised his head and began to walk into the bustling village. Sell the hairpin, obtain passage. Those were his goals, and so he would set out to do them to the best of his ability. From merchants strolling within the dirt streets, to people calling at passersby to take a look at precious goods put on display, the sight had caused a pleasant hum to leave Haru's lips. It was a familiar sight, although certainly not on the same scale as the major cities, in particular the Jade Empire's capital... but it was a sight to warm his heart. The people that Mai-Jing loved, who she always would smile upon were living peaceful, fulfilling lives. I'm glad. If only... ah..
He immediately stamped down on the thought before it could progress further. He didn't want to be reminded of the monster that his cursed eyes had shown him, what the gentle and loving woman that had been Mai-Jing actually was. Haru denied that vision, choosing it omit it, for that was not the Mai-Jing he knew, or rather the Mai-Jing he thought he knew. She was a kind, loving and compassionate woman, and he'd be damned if that memory would be soured by a monster's face. No, even if she was a monster... he loved her anyway. The thoughts made his warm heart darken, sinking within his chest as his steps slowed. Why was he thinking about the dead now? There was... no point. His lips pressed together, bitterness swarming within his heart that he would force itself to sink down, deep down until he could no longer feel it, until it was buried till he could no longer feel the bitter tinge, until he could move forward again. And move forward he did, the man approaching stall by stall, a smile painted upon his exhausted face as compliments flowed over a silver tongue, though perhaps aided by the Seer plucking at threads of the future that the people before him were fated to encounter.
Eventually, Haru had found a man willing enough to buy the extravagant hairpin off of his hands, although what better luck than the very stall having sold hairpins of all shapes and sizes. As a heavy pouch of coins was pressed into the Seer's relieved and thin hands, ruby eyes would settle upon a hairpin near him, a rather common pin indeed. The hairpin itself was gold in coloration, with an intricate design of the Phoenix coiled about the edge of the pin, wings extended as if in the midst of gathering wind to take flight. Is it around that time already? Normally, the phoenix would be plastered over just about anything, in particular when the devoted people would begin to perform festivals and celebrations, and in particular it would be around this time that Haru would be performing sacred rites within the temple, and eventually for the royal court... something that he secretly hated of course. The proceedings had been so dreadfully boring, and the ceremonial robes he wore would always be uncomfortable, itchy and heavy. For once, he was a bit grateful that he wouldn't have to suffer through such dreadfully boring rituals.
He turned his head, smiling at the man before him as he was about to say a quiet farewell... but his eyes was drawn to the pin again. Conflict raged within his heart as he thought, Well it isn't expensive, it's not like it'll make or break our funds. We have enough to reach the next town and perhaps a few towns after that with the amount of coin we have... but, maybe she wouldn't want it. It'll be something unnecessary, and it's not as if I'm obligated to get her anything! His lips turned down in a sharp frown, But... she is sick, and she took care of me when I was unconscious, she did also give me this bracelet too. Maybe I could...? His shoulders sagged, giving into the impulse as he cleared his throat, pointing to the phoenix hairpin, a soft smile crossing his face, "I would like to buy that."
It was exhausting to draw upon so many different threads of fate for an extended period of time, even if the man certainly got paid a decent amount for his foresight... it left him mentally drained. She owes me so much for this.
Pain immediately struck him, his knees buckling as the breath felt like it was being ripped from his lungs as the power, weak as it was flowed from the skin of his fingers and with sluggish warmth had settled within the pin, little flickers of flame dancing to life as he struggled to form his words in a form of blessings, in the midst of his agony. "May thine life... be blessed by sacred... flames. May i-illness... never haunt thee.." He could taste blood, his body trembling as he sucked in a sharp breath, "...beloved... child..." The flow of the blessing had ended, the flames dying just as quick, however the orange of the pin held a mystical glow if one would peer closely at it, a soft and comforting warmth permanently embedded within the hairpin, making it truly a blessed and sacred item... even if Haru felt like he was two steps away from dying as a faint trickle of blood had managed to drip past his lips, causing the man to hastily rub it away upon a ruined sleeve, feeling the Phoenix beginning to slumber within him once more, although far more quieter than before, causing a pit to form within the man's stomach. Something is wrong. That much was obvious, but the man struggled once more to his feet, cursing at himself for being so impulsive. Why the hell did he even put himself through so much pain for this woman? Pain in the ass.
The black kimono she wore appeared as if the night sky itself had wrapped around her form, the softness of the breeze as it caressed her hair, her lovely face void of the make up that the palace would typically paint her in. Youthful, soft and reserved, a sheer contrast from how she would dress. To say Haru's heart had skipped a beat was perhaps an understatement, for not only did it skip a single beat within his chest, it instead had sped up as if he'd had run from the village all the way there. Pretty... she's pretty. The admission of that thought had fully pushed to the forefront of his mind, redness coming to his pale cheeks as he seemed quite speechless, "..Pretty..." Only for him to suddenly becoming quite aware of the hairpin that he had clutched within his hand, and the unintentional word that had slipped past his lips, immediately causing the man to put his hands behind his back quickly, like that of a child trying to hide something. Why the hell did I buy this?!
Panicking, he was panicking. He'll never hear the end of this, he'll never get her to stop talking about this. What if she rejected it? After he had poured his own power into it... perhaps it would be a waste? Well, he certainly wouldn't want her to be pressured to accepting it for she didn't need to. After all, she was under no obligation to accept it! They were companions, nothing more, nothing less. He wasn't even her friend, and certainly never her lover... Ah, why did he even think of that cursed word! Never! Never! Never in a million years!
As his mind was reeling, his face seemed to only be burning a deeper shade of crimson as he finally shuffled forward toward her, looking away from her, a nervous clearing of his throat as he knelt behind her and presented the warm hairpin, the soft glow of the orange wings being certainly appealing to the eyes, a blessing resting upon the hairpin, one that certainly could be felt. "I-I got this for you, f-for your health so you'll... recover.. soon.." In this moment, more than ever before the man seemed like his age, awkward in adolescence and stumbling over his words. Like a boy before a pretty girl, an endearing sight for once as the Seer still didn't seem willing to look directly at her, feeling more regret on getting the hairpin considering she looked like... well, looked so appealing to his own eyes. Damn it.
As light as his burden felt now, Haru's body only begged to differ. Sharp pains shooting through not only his bad leg, but his good one as well, his feet protesting at the pressure of his own weight. In all honesty, Haru perhaps was unused to pushing himself physically so hard, especially considering it had been three years since his body was even in such dire straits. Hunger gnawed at his stomach, causing his head to spin as he forced down the urge to vomit, sucking in deep breaths and slowly exhaling. I should have ate before I left. A tiny regret he held, but once that he could rectify later, preparations were needed first... even if the harsh sun did little to improve his deteriorating health. There was a heaviness, unnaturally so in his limbs, one that he thought would have eased with him getting some more rest during the night, however it remained the same - drained of energy, of vigor.
Nonetheless, he held onto his stubbornness, not allowing himself to show much of his unnatural gait, with the smallest of steps that he would place one in front of the other. Soon, his destination lay in wait, and with it the man had let a heavy sigh of relief to pass his lips. The man's eyes shifted to the fabric bag he'd snatched up before he would forget, the one containing Mitsuko's hairpin, a determined set coming to his jaw as he raised his head and began to walk into the bustling village. Sell the hairpin, obtain passage. Those were his goals, and so he would set out to do them to the best of his ability. From merchants strolling within the dirt streets, to people calling at passersby to take a look at precious goods put on display, the sight had caused a pleasant hum to leave Haru's lips. It was a familiar sight, although certainly not on the same scale as the major cities, in particular the Jade Empire's capital... but it was a sight to warm his heart. The people that Mai-Jing loved, who she always would smile upon were living peaceful, fulfilling lives. I'm glad. If only... ah..
He immediately stamped down on the thought before it could progress further. He didn't want to be reminded of the monster that his cursed eyes had shown him, what the gentle and loving woman that had been Mai-Jing actually was. Haru denied that vision, choosing it omit it, for that was not the Mai-Jing he knew, or rather the Mai-Jing he thought he knew. She was a kind, loving and compassionate woman, and he'd be damned if that memory would be soured by a monster's face. No, even if she was a monster... he loved her anyway. The thoughts made his warm heart darken, sinking within his chest as his steps slowed. Why was he thinking about the dead now? There was... no point. His lips pressed together, bitterness swarming within his heart that he would force itself to sink down, deep down until he could no longer feel it, until it was buried till he could no longer feel the bitter tinge, until he could move forward again. And move forward he did, the man approaching stall by stall, a smile painted upon his exhausted face as compliments flowed over a silver tongue, though perhaps aided by the Seer plucking at threads of the future that the people before him were fated to encounter.
Eventually, Haru had found a man willing enough to buy the extravagant hairpin off of his hands, although what better luck than the very stall having sold hairpins of all shapes and sizes. As a heavy pouch of coins was pressed into the Seer's relieved and thin hands, ruby eyes would settle upon a hairpin near him, a rather common pin indeed. The hairpin itself was gold in coloration, with an intricate design of the Phoenix coiled about the edge of the pin, wings extended as if in the midst of gathering wind to take flight. Is it around that time already? Normally, the phoenix would be plastered over just about anything, in particular when the devoted people would begin to perform festivals and celebrations, and in particular it would be around this time that Haru would be performing sacred rites within the temple, and eventually for the royal court... something that he secretly hated of course. The proceedings had been so dreadfully boring, and the ceremonial robes he wore would always be uncomfortable, itchy and heavy. For once, he was a bit grateful that he wouldn't have to suffer through such dreadfully boring rituals.
He turned his head, smiling at the man before him as he was about to say a quiet farewell... but his eyes was drawn to the pin again. Conflict raged within his heart as he thought, Well it isn't expensive, it's not like it'll make or break our funds. We have enough to reach the next town and perhaps a few towns after that with the amount of coin we have... but, maybe she wouldn't want it. It'll be something unnecessary, and it's not as if I'm obligated to get her anything! His lips turned down in a sharp frown, But... she is sick, and she took care of me when I was unconscious, she did also give me this bracelet too. Maybe I could...? His shoulders sagged, giving into the impulse as he cleared his throat, pointing to the phoenix hairpin, a soft smile crossing his face, "I would like to buy that."
...
Haru had lingered within the marketplace as noon had settled, taking it upon himself to read fortunes for passersby for extra coin to make up for the hairpin he had bought on impulse, the pin feeling particularly heavy as he felt regret swell within his chest. Why did he buy it? It's not as if he particularly was fond of Mitsuko, certainly never that! No, it was... a gift of appreciation! Yes, that was what he would go with... though that didn't seem so convincing now did it? His mind swirled with the chaos of embarrassment as he felt tempted to just hide the hairpin, pretend that he'd never bought the accursed thing, but he didn't have time to ponder it for too long as the sight of the farmer had settled in his sitting position, causing the Seer to expel the distracting thoughts as he forced himself to rush over, his mind void of the problem he had made for himself as he neared the farmer, flashing a coin before the man's eyes as he began to recount the sorry tale he had told the elderly woman; his wife was ill and needed to be taken to the nearest town, that he would pay for passage to the next town as needed. Of course, the promise of coin and Haru's rather haggard appearance seemed to be enough convincing that the man needed which made Haru nearly collapse in relief, with the reassurance that he would wait for Haru to return with his ill 'wife'.It was exhausting to draw upon so many different threads of fate for an extended period of time, even if the man certainly got paid a decent amount for his foresight... it left him mentally drained. She owes me so much for this.
...
The path back seemed to take longer, as the sun seemed to sap most of the energy that was quickly draining out of Haru's limbs, the man not taking his usual precaution to hide his agony. After all, the pathway was empty, and once again aside from the pouch of heavy coins he was carefully concealing, the hairpin in particular caused him to stop as he took the object out, glaring at it in annoyance. The wings of the hairpin reflected a brilliant orange in the noon skies above him, with the gold glistening appealingly as well. It made him almost embarrassed to look at it, why did the people even make such things? It wasn't as if he was some.. some... role model or anything. It really was an embarrassment as he looked aside, checking twice, even thrice to make sure no one was approaching. Once assured that no one was coming to even interrupt, or see, Haru's hands clasped the hairpin close to his chest, ruby eyes closing as he reached cautiously for the Phoenix slumbering within his form. A cautious prodding at first, which resulted in nothing, causing a huff to leave the man's lips as he forcibly grabbed at the power slumbering deep within.Pain immediately struck him, his knees buckling as the breath felt like it was being ripped from his lungs as the power, weak as it was flowed from the skin of his fingers and with sluggish warmth had settled within the pin, little flickers of flame dancing to life as he struggled to form his words in a form of blessings, in the midst of his agony. "May thine life... be blessed by sacred... flames. May i-illness... never haunt thee.." He could taste blood, his body trembling as he sucked in a sharp breath, "...beloved... child..." The flow of the blessing had ended, the flames dying just as quick, however the orange of the pin held a mystical glow if one would peer closely at it, a soft and comforting warmth permanently embedded within the hairpin, making it truly a blessed and sacred item... even if Haru felt like he was two steps away from dying as a faint trickle of blood had managed to drip past his lips, causing the man to hastily rub it away upon a ruined sleeve, feeling the Phoenix beginning to slumber within him once more, although far more quieter than before, causing a pit to form within the man's stomach. Something is wrong. That much was obvious, but the man struggled once more to his feet, cursing at himself for being so impulsive. Why the hell did he even put himself through so much pain for this woman? Pain in the ass.
...
Haru's staggering steps could be heard as he finally had reached the house belonging to the elderly woman, his legs feeling as if they were fit to give out, stomach twisting in hunger and limbs feeling far more heavy than before as he grunted, moving toward where he heard movement as he had checked the shoji to the room Mitsuko had been in hesitantly, though seeing her not there had caused worry to settle within him, prompting the man to follow where he felt the flow of wind coming from, "Mitsuko...?" Her name had started off strong on his tongue, as he could see her familiar shape, but the reason it died was perhaps the shock that went through him from head to toe as he gazed upon the woman, crimson eyes comically wide, body frozen as if the man had been suddenly glued to the spot.The black kimono she wore appeared as if the night sky itself had wrapped around her form, the softness of the breeze as it caressed her hair, her lovely face void of the make up that the palace would typically paint her in. Youthful, soft and reserved, a sheer contrast from how she would dress. To say Haru's heart had skipped a beat was perhaps an understatement, for not only did it skip a single beat within his chest, it instead had sped up as if he'd had run from the village all the way there. Pretty... she's pretty. The admission of that thought had fully pushed to the forefront of his mind, redness coming to his pale cheeks as he seemed quite speechless, "..Pretty..." Only for him to suddenly becoming quite aware of the hairpin that he had clutched within his hand, and the unintentional word that had slipped past his lips, immediately causing the man to put his hands behind his back quickly, like that of a child trying to hide something. Why the hell did I buy this?!
Panicking, he was panicking. He'll never hear the end of this, he'll never get her to stop talking about this. What if she rejected it? After he had poured his own power into it... perhaps it would be a waste? Well, he certainly wouldn't want her to be pressured to accepting it for she didn't need to. After all, she was under no obligation to accept it! They were companions, nothing more, nothing less. He wasn't even her friend, and certainly never her lover... Ah, why did he even think of that cursed word! Never! Never! Never in a million years!
As his mind was reeling, his face seemed to only be burning a deeper shade of crimson as he finally shuffled forward toward her, looking away from her, a nervous clearing of his throat as he knelt behind her and presented the warm hairpin, the soft glow of the orange wings being certainly appealing to the eyes, a blessing resting upon the hairpin, one that certainly could be felt. "I-I got this for you, f-for your health so you'll... recover.. soon.." In this moment, more than ever before the man seemed like his age, awkward in adolescence and stumbling over his words. Like a boy before a pretty girl, an endearing sight for once as the Seer still didn't seem willing to look directly at her, feeling more regret on getting the hairpin considering she looked like... well, looked so appealing to his own eyes. Damn it.