Fantasy EMOTIONS LIKE TWISTING VINES | private |

Sei Shonagon · Jan 28, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: The beach- The Neighbourhood (sped up)

Their steps relieved each other and created a safe distance of descending and ascending footfalls that would never inch closer. It was as if they were the positive ends of two magnets that repelled the other one when it brushed too close. Too similar in their circumstances and foundation to not be reminded of the more painful things that one associated the partner with. In her case, that was Hayate.

The only friend she had ever had and the friend that had disappeared when she needed him the most. It would be presumptuous to say that they had been lovers, Hayate had never expressed any of the like, and at best they had been bed warmers for each other. Love in itself was not a word that belonged inside the walls of the clan in any of its definitions. There was duty and there was treachery and that was all. The latter could be identified as anything that crossed the first- an outburst of autonomy in rejecting orders, failing to complete your purpose and coveting things beyond the clan. Now that Mitsuko thought about it, she had committed most of these manmade sins.

She had rejected the order to kill her target and thus failed to complete her purpose. Her departure from the clan was the final nail in the coffin that set the antecedent for her current situation. What was she, if not a traitor? In a way, it was quite astonishing what she had gotten away with until now. In another, she wondered how long she would be able to keep it up. The possibility struck her in sober freshness as she splashed the river water onto her face. His silhouette emerged in the ripples on the surface of the water, a taunting mirage of the mind that twisted her features.

Was he already dead? The clan might have set out for him first. To clean up all the traces of the failure before they would continue to the instigator of them: Her. Or was he still alive and well and pursuing her in the name of the court? The mirror image warped under the hand that plunged into it and stirred around inside the guts of the water until the silhouette had been butchered.

A few metres away was another figure reflected, that of the Seer whose name she had grown accustomed to calling instead of his role. A figure that made her dive further into the ripples that echoed off the water onto her face. It was presumptuous of her to claim that they were friends or that she knew the connotations that it carried. Neither did she understand the boundaries that it set in the strokes of the s in the verdant curls that coiled away from his face or the f in her fumbling heartbeats. In truth, it was meaningless to compare the two. They couldn't be more different, even though the first syllable of their names came out all the same on her tongue.

Haru was warm, in the way that only someone that retained their last shreds of humanity was. His rejection was out of fear to show that he cared and his compassion shone through the actions that were meant to steer one away. He pushed himself beyond the capabilities of his body at the price of his health and was steadfast in his convictions. Not like her who was wishy-washy and easily teased to regret while she bent the circumstances to fit her reasoning. He was selfless and she was selfish.

Hayate, on the other hand, was but a blur in her mind. A faded sunspot on memories bleached into oblivion by the tides of time. Once upon a time, he might've been warm and exhibited that same stubborn tenderness that was characteristic of Haru. The last time that she had met him, though, he had been cold. Stone-cold. Enough to make her wonder if she had pushed it all onto him, like she pushed her hand through the current of the river. Projected a wish and a reality that was a figment of her imagination.

Had she ever known him?

The brunette racked her limbs out of their insipid daydreams and settled back into reality in a straightened stance. Breaths delivered substance to her being in the smell of earth and Haru's panicked words, petrichor to her scorched soul that attuned to his solemnity. He looked tense, as if the breeze that teased through strands had told him a secret in its capricious caress. Mitsuko clenched down on the hilt of her sword.

"Let's go".

---

The house was deathly quiet when they returned. Life snuffed out in the absence of the crackling firepit and footfalls that haunted the walls in deafening silence instead. The youths stalked their shadows through the drawing room to the corridor when a thud resounded from within one of the bedrooms. Honomi's bedroom, that was. The brunette's hand shot up to halt her companion in his tracks. Another thud rang out and this time it was the clatter of metal hitting the floor. Heavy and accompanied by a grunt that shed the weight of disembodied shoulders.

A rush of adrenaline struck her then and drilled her eyes wide open in their sockets as her trembling hand groped for the handle on the sliding door. She pushed it aside to peer into the room from the crack that disturbed the vacuum of the scene. A wide back flitted into view and undulated in scarred skin from clothes that dropped to the floor. Her brown eyes drew a line from the clothes to the body beneath him- dishevelled and half-clothed in the torn state of the kimono.

Her cheek bore marks of a red imprint, that would surely sour into blue under curdled blood between jaws, and her exposed chest heaved weakly. Ribs probably sore under the scratched skin that whispered tales of abuse. Mitsuko curled her fingers around the wooden edge and drove her nails into the gaps between splinters to rake the furrows. Her legs moved faster than her breath that came stuttering out hot after she had slammed the door open.

She rushed at him and threw her arm around his neck to lock it in. The man rocked from the impact and sudden weight upon his back and wobbled to his feet as he clawed at the choke grip. Mitsuko looped her legs around his waist and steeled them through the floundering shakes that the man performed to rid himself of her. "Haru! Grab Honomi!" She roared above the grunts and curses that spewed out of the man.

LONELYRAIN · Jan 28, 2023

Onigaen - Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni OST

By the time the two souls had reached the threshold of his mother's home, the air was dead, silent and only punctuated by the muffled sounds that echoed from behind the slightly ajar sliding door to Honomi's room. Haru's heart clenched, a rigidness to his jaws as Mitsuko's hand had flashed out to press against his chest, causing indignation to flare to life before his crimson eyes. Why? Another thud punctuated the air which caused tense muscles to flare anew in agitation as he scowled, crimson eyes agitated within his skull as Mitsuko would go first, to survey the damage. Or was she merely trying to protect him from what lay beyond his field of vision? Regardless, it left the Seer far more agitated as the sense of wrongness had settled heavier and heavier on the man's soul, sinking into every crevice and flaring the blackened oozed that coiled within.

Mother. Mother. The one thought had echoed relentlessly in his mind as Mitsuko would push the sliding door open, revealing to him a wide, scarred back that was so very eerily familiar in the memory that linked to his horrid injury. He was... enraged. Or was this burning feeling in his chest merely rage? How hot it burned, how it made his vision blacken as a sharp breath was inhaled, teeth bared as he trembled from head to toe. This... creature, this thing was daring to harm his mother?! Crimson eyes flashed to the woman whose chest was fluttering weakly, barely even showing the usual life and warmth within; dedicated soul that provided him all the love and attention she could. This soul was... broken, being broken and being tore asunder. How the sight made his heart bleed, filling his head with chaotic thoughts.

Flickers of the doomed chamber overlapped the simple bedroom, maggots and splattered blood, the body being pried away and violated for all that it could take and then some, and the accursed soul above it continuing to torture an unresponsive husk. Ah, how it made him sick. Mitsuko was a mere blur within it all, inconsequential within the drowning man's soul as he breathed in sharp, trying to suppress the wave of rage and tasting the iron tang upon his tongue. This.. this feeling-

"Haru! Grab Honomi!"

The command broke him out of his stunned state, body moving before his drifting mind could as the Seer had slipped around the struggling Danuja, his arms wrapping around his mother, limp like a doll within his grasp even despite the weak breaths that stirred her chest, betraying that life still remained in her body. Mother. Mother. The foreign voice that rang in his mind that was his, but not his had spoken in frenzied notes as with a strength he didn't believe himself to have in his battered body had picked his mother up and rushed out of the room, speeding to the room she'd provided him and securely laid her down on the futon, his trembling hands coming to frame her face, "Mother?! Mother!" Honomi's brown eyes flickered, the apathy within them fading slightly as consciousness flickered to life in the watery brown eyes, "..Haru..?" Confused was the weak reply, her pupils flying over the pale face above her of her son, but... there was something wrong there.

"Haru, y-you're bleeding!" Haru's eyes blinked rapidly as the rancid taste of his blood had drawn his attention, the blackened fluid having trickled free over rosy lips as his eyes turned away from her, "Haru?" Her weak voice echoed again, trying to coax for an answer which made his teeth bare in frustration. Why was she worried over him in this situation?! "Mother... enough." His voice was rough, as Honomi's teary brown eyes looked upon the shade of her son, though his touch was gentle there was something within him that made her... terrified, his slender fingers were so very icy as he secured her clothes upon her body, hand coming to gently caress the side of her face, a smile crossing his bloodied lips, "I'll handle this. You won't have to suffer again."

Wait. Was the panicked thought in her mind. What was he going to do? "Haru, don't-" She tried to will her voice to be stronger, to try and prevent her son from leaving her side, but her weak body wouldn't respond. Her strength failed her, the back of her son turning to face her as his steps staggered out of the room, his movements not natural, not... normal. What was he not telling her?! Tears finally trickled down her face as she struggled to move. No, don't do anything rash, she wanted to beg. Don't try and enact vengeance on her behalf! But, the darkness that had overtaken her precious boy, a darkness that certainly wasn't there before would not heed her words even if she would have had the strength to muster her fear.

That darkness would only lead to his destruction.

...

Danuja's choked sounds of rage settled through the room as the man had roughly shoved Mitsuko aside, beady eyes stirring in small holes within his head as a curse flew from his lips. He'd not even had begun to enjoy himself before this brat had interjected! Eyes flashed immediately to his discarded armor, bits and pieces that he'd shed in his lust guided actions, a growl ripping free as he looked down at the smaller shape. He didn't need it to take care of pests like this! This woman, this child dared to stand against him?! He'd be damned if such humiliation would linger, would taint his reputation. The beast of a man had tensed, preparing himself to grab a hold of the mere girl, it would be a simple action of strangling her to death, the meaty hands certainly was capable of doing it before and he wouldn't-

Fire. There was fire, a burning sensation that lanced through the arm that was seared by some invisible edge as the limb's skin blackened from the hand that was reaching threateningly toward Mitsuko, skin peeling back over connected flesh and tissue, revealing the pink flesh underneath and subsequently the limb itself falling to the ground in a dull thud; prompting the overseer's eyes to widen in first shock that delayed the rush of pain, shock that had caused fumbling lips to part in a soundless cry, dumbfounded at the sudden loss as the useless arm had lingered as evidence before his eyes that yes, he indeed had lost the limb. How? Why? A painful howl left him as his other hand clutched the burning stump, his body collapsing backward. It was hot, why did he feel like where the stump had been severed it still burned?! Why?!

The burning sensation was spreading through his body, his head turning to the shape in the doorway merely staring down at him with contempt. Crimson eyes that looked down upon him with apathy, blackened lines flowing over rosy lips in the frame of that accursed child that he thought would never return. "..Hah... I missed." Was the cold response as sweat flowed down the overseer's temples, eyes turning to the hands of the slender figure which was twitching like the fingers had a mind of their own, flickers of flames sparking to life and dying rapidly as if teased by an invisible wind.

"̷̫̻̦̫̐̉͘̕Ì̸̧̛̠̯̏͝ ̸̘̞̭̳̔̊ẃ̴̪̲̯̦̓͠o̷̧̪̠͔̎̾n̶̫̠̝̊̾͂͊'̸̮͓̠̌ț̸̮̗͖̀̐̎ ̶̜͓̣̝̅̃m̸̪̘̻̖̐́͝͠i̵̱͈͛ͅs̷̛̙̝̭͛̕͜s̸̛̘̼͇͓̔ ̶͓͑ä̴̟͕̘͚́ģ̷̨̹̻̽̈a̸̮͆͜ỉ̷̜̮͆̕ͅń̶̙̘͗́̈́.̶̯͘"̴̦̣̏̀̑̇

The voice that flowed from rose petal lips had cracked the very same lips up into a cruel smile, the warmth the light in his rubies sucking any friendliness, any happiness that perhaps had lingered within earlier that day. The monster raised his hand again, causing the overseer to tremble, "F-forgive me!" He spluttered, scrambling backward in a cowardly display, fear corrupting this man that dared to ask for forgiveness. It was... funny, he was funny!

Sei Shonagon · Jan 28, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: The judge of ash- Solas composer

Anger. Anger was all she had been able to distinguish through the blood that poured from numbed fingers into her drumming heartbeats. It was a bottomless void that clouded all reason for the few seconds that she had been motionless. Then she had sprung to life in renewed respiration, and the blood had funnelled into tense muscles in a choice of the first option of fight or flight this time.

Her skin crawled with the recollections of hands that had claimed her flesh for themselves. Violations of the boundary of fabric that she had desperately clung to as a last wall of defence. The unending greed and lust that had peeled her bare down to the bones and stripped her of everything noteworthy, but her holes. Humiliation, it had been raw unadulterated humiliation.

-And now it was raw and unadulterated fury.

The room spun before her eyes till it didn't. Coarse fingers dug into the flesh of her arm and pried it off the neck where it had served as a tight necklace. The brunette had no choice, but to relent to the overwhelming strength and flaked off the man like a wet leaf stuck on paper. Gasps of pain were elicited from parted lips as he wrenched her skin and yanked her to the front. Her shoulder felt as if it were about to pop out of its joint in the way he pulled her forearm diagonally across her back. Mitsuko shot a narrowed glare at the man, brows and eyes bunched up from the tension.

If only- If only she had her other arm, she could have easily fended him off. Instead, she had to rely on his mercy which was harshly delivered in a shove. She tumbled to the floor and hit her head on the wall in an impact that robbed her of both breath and vision for a few dizzying seconds. The brown eyes flickered open once more to drift past the man and land on the spot where Honomi had once laid, vulnerable and forced to dissociate from the situation. A flare of anger lit up in the brows that laced together in a tight-knit.

A hefty hand blotted into her line of sight, and a surge of adrenaline coursed through her from the palms that connected to the floor. The face of the man loomed above the hand and his eyes bulged from their sockets in red veiny wrath. Mitsuko pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth and clicked it. Fine. She would grant him his death wish. Her palm skimmed over the hilt that brushed against it in coarse bindings. His figure inched closer, fingers ready to repay her choke grip in twitches that conformed to the width of her throat. But the touch never came.

Instead, the skin began to peel back in blisters and simmering bubbles, like hot caramel that boiled to burnt sludge over strenuous heat. The smell, however, was anything but caramel. A rancid and positively distinct one that could only be described as coppery and acrid like burning grease. The stench wafted back into her face and the brunette recoiled with a sour expression that threatened to manifest on the floor in an equally acidic liquid. Her stomach churned, and she raised her sleeve to block her nose while the man made a staggering retreat.

The smell alone was enough to sober Mitsuko up from her single-minded quest, and her gaze bounced off the man to the figure in the door opening. Her pupils shrunk back into their pools of brown at the sight of her companion's transformed visage. Haru. His name echoed at the back of her mind like a prayer that reminded her of the person beneath the hollowed madness. "-Dammit." The curse was wheezed out from clenched jaws as she analysed the situation.

The resurgence of the aramitama and the lack of means to rein it in. The overseer whose presence and absence sparked trouble interchangeably and finally- the wet spot that clotted her hair at the back of her head.

The memory of Honomi's trembling form concluded the summary with a bitter swallow from the brunette. Mitsuko scrambled to her feet and drew her sword from its sheath to point it at the man. "Don't move. Don't speak." She seethed at the other end of it in flashing eyes. Her lips pursed in visible disgust at his snivelling state. How dare he. How dare he beg for forgiveness after what he had done to Honomi? Such virtuous words were not fit for the filthy bottom lip that quivered in fear and not regret. A boorish look for a boorish man. He would not invoke any pity from Mitsuko, but neither would she grant any to the Seer.

It was the opposite that she faced him with. A hardened exterior that scolded him silently under slanted brows. Control yourself. The brunette nailed him to the spot. "Haru." She called out to the back of her companion in a low cautioning rumble. Her palm moulded around the hilt in a foretelling lid over the potential swings that it would have to execute. "We can only dispose of him if- you control yourself." Her voice strained under the veins that jutted out of her neck. Perspiration made her palm clammy. Mitsuko clenched around the metal. She knew. She knew very well that it couldn't be stopped. But, if Haru spiralled out of control, then she would be obligated to put down more than one person lest they would all perish under this roof.

Nonetheless, she was no Byakko, and all she had at her disposal was her sword. One that had proved useless against the Tiger and would therefore also likely have little effect on her friend. But if the situation warranted it...-then she would have to fulfill her promise.

LONELYRAIN · Jan 28, 2023

Scream (Hegemone x Agdistis Theme) - FFXIV: Endwalker OST

Hahaha. Truly, Haru wished to laugh at the sight of the man before him, it was so unbelievably ridiculous to see genuine fear plastered upon his face, a trembling bottom lip and eyes practically bulging out from his skull. Quickened breaths and sweat beginning to flow and cover his skin, and... could he hear the prey's heartbeat? Yes, he could, it was frantic and fearful as he swallowed in a breath, unable to speak at Mitsuko's command. Was this who he'd feared as a boy? Was this mere scrap of flesh and bone, one who had tortured his mother and himself someone he had to fear? No. He would not fear this pathetic waste of breath and flesh, eyes shifting down to the blackened arm upon the floor, useless and shriveled as Danuja's pathetic little whimpers were like music to his ears.

Oh, how the temptation of ripping him apart to piece him together and proceed to rip him asunder again and again filtered through his mind, he could do it certainly! Even if his body was battered from Byakko's claws, the celestial beast had certainly made sure to refill his empty vessel before he returned, bit by bit to not make it overflow, to slowly restore him to a place of stability. Though he was far from overflowing with such divine energy, he could expend it here and still have much more leftover to spare! Haha! How wonderful this situation was! This sniveling fool, although not the first life he'd taken in this body, certainly would be fitting for it to be the last, a celebration of restoring himself to a mere fraction of energy within his soul! The sadistic light to his eyes brightened as he looked down at the trembling piece of prey, a sensation of irritation melding with the vicious rush as his thoughts were punctuated by the panting and excited whispers of the aramitama cooing in his soul, trying to grab his attention, spilling black ichor over.

C̷̣̽͠o̵̮͓͠m̶͙͎̿e̴͍̣̊͝ ̷̛̳̭n̸̖͎͊̕o̷̺͇͋w̷̛̹̠̿,̵͓̫͒ ̵̡̫́̓y̴̡̌ò̸͕͌ũ̶͕̥ ̶͓̣͘k̷̫̏̕n̵̨͉̈́͐ȍ̸̝͘w̷̱͉̚ ̷̧͖͗́w̶͖̓̚h̷̬͐a̸̧̭̅̽t̶̿̐ͅ ̷̫̍͂ẁ̷̩ë̶̹̯́̆ ̴̬͋̎m̶͉̑̾ű̷̗͘ͅs̵̠̚̕ţ̶̥͐̉ ̸̖͊͝ḍ̶̇o̴̜̅.̶͚̙͋

The voice within his mind echoed, tainted with the other self, the other him that was both him but not.

Y̵̙̎̚ô̴̱̮̓u̵̻͌ͅ ̷̜͍̈̔w̵̟̳͘i̵̫͓̿͠l̷͇̒̽l̶͖̹͐ ̴͖̾ň̵̐͜ȍ̴̼̱ẗ̶̨́ ̵̡̗̅͂b̸͙͉̊̏ẽ̸̝̠ ̸͇͋͝s̶̢̧̾a̶͚͐ț̸̗̽i̵̖͙̾͐s̷̝̗͐͝f̷̡͚̈́̏i̷̳͆e̷͕̖̔̒d̵̢̬̋͑,̶̤̣̽͗ ̸̭͙̄̊ẉ̵̑̕é̴̥̟ ̸̪͓͆͝w̸̧̄î̷͕l̶̰͗l̸͍̳̔̈ ̸͖̇̋n̴͉̻̏̓o̵͎͗t̴͙̩̚ ̴̮̄̔b̵͎̌e̷͚̘̍ ̶̤̙́s̸̩̝̾à̶̲͌t̸̻̹͐i̴̙̭͝ṣ̴̞͝f̶̻͒ͅi̶̠̮͆́ȇ̵͇d̸̲͠ ̵͔̊l̷̪̺̋ẹ̵̮͒̾t̸̯̩̄ẗ̶̥i̸̜̣͋ň̴̗̙ģ̴͂̓ ̴͎̝̔t̵̰̯̍͘h̷̞̙͌̿ḭ̷̟͝s̷̘͙̀ ̵͖̐̇f̶̩̑ỏ̷̧̆o̵͈͐ļ̴͑̔ ̸̡͋c̸͔͓͋o̴̖͗͠n̴̬͗ţ̶̣̈́í̴͓͔̽n̶̤̐ů̶̙̀ė̶̻͊ ̶̢͂͑t̵̢͉͌̓o̴͚̊ ̸̟̍͆l̶̠͓̽i̵̬̮̇́v̸͔͙͂̋ë̶̦̲.̴̨̓

Yes... he wouldn't be satisfied allowing Danuja to keep dragging air into his worthless lungs, now would he? His fingers twitched at the notion, prompting a strangled sound to slip past Danuja's lips in a bit of horror as he was now trembling, tears beginning to spill down the fearful eyes that used to be so high and mighty, trying to find mercy where mercy had all but been spent in the deep blackness that swelled and bubbled in Haru's chest. Yes... why should he be benevolent to this.. this creature? Why should he spare this filth? Why should he wait a single moment more? Why not heed this spilling darkness within his soul? This pain, this ancient pain that oozed and writhed? It wasn't as if it was fading quick enough, it wasn't as if it could leave him be... it would be just one time.

Just once.

One...
Time...
One...
Ṭ̵̅ ̸͖̦̓̽i̶̮̿ ̸̙̇͒m̵͖̓͝ͅ ̷̰̤̏ë̸̪.̵͚̠̊̍

The man's expression twitched as Mitsuko had interjected, her voice being obnoxiously loud over the other one within, frustration blossoming as rubies turned on her, the woman who normally would make his heart begin to flip or stutter in his chest only was greeted with a gaze that seethed in rage. How dare she try to attempt to be the voice of reason now!? Did she not understand the weight of what he had to carry, what he still was carrying?! All of the pain, the agony, the hurt, all of it coalescing into an endless well of suffering that he in his already pieced together mind was barely staying closed at the seams. He deserved at least one time to allow himself to slip deep, to not be some benevolent creature, to not be the one that had to remain utterly perfect. What he wanted was this man's death, and he... oh he could do it all on his own without her here.

W̴̳͇̏̕h̶͓̝̓ỳ̵̮̝ ̸̘̇d̷̢̰͑o̵̙͊ ̸̡̈͋y̵̝̓́ȏ̶̫̿u̴̻̽̿ ̷̬͔́͝s̶̤̄t̷̝͒a̸̦͋ń̷̖͉d̷͔͈̈́̾ ̵̦̈́͂͜i̸̡͒ń̵̯̉ ̷͈̣͝͝m̴̢͐y̴͓͍͐̍ ̵̨̊͘w̴̻̻̔̆a̴̳̙̿̾ỳ̷̛̞?̸̺̇͘

The raging thought demanded, the tension within the room rising as crimson eyes didn't move from her and had dropped to her hand upon the hilt of her blade... he could kill her too if she persisted this foolishness. It was tempting, but if his supposed beloved were to bare her fangs at him, it wouldn't take too long, a simple matter of burning away her flesh before she could reach him would be enough. She wouldn't last more than a few seconds at most, though perhaps-

Oh. What was he thinking?!

Rubies were concealed quickly underneath eyelids as he turned his head away, a hand flying to his forehead as he broke off the dangerous trail of thoughts, shock flowing through his system as the other voice quieted, leaving him filled with remnants of horror that clung to his body and sank down his heart. Was he... had he actually considered killing her? Did that thought really just cross his mind!? He swallowed back a fresh wave of nausea as he finally looked at the trembling Danuja, eyes flickering to the burning stump of his arm and the tears flowing down his face, reality, this horrid reality beginning to wash over him anew. What did he just do..? Although he felt nothing in regards to Danuja being injured, there was part of him that recoiled at the coldness that washed over his heart, blocking him off from any prior sentiment, any attachment he may or may not have had.

It was a mere glimpse at what he was teetering on, a ledge that he was very close to... and it horrified him. Lips pressed into a tight line as he tasted the rancid ichor that had flowed in his unsettled thoughts, causing his expression to pinch as he turned his gaze back to Mitsuko, the crimson eyes seeming more like him than the thing that had nearly completely robbed him of everything. "I-I know." The weak response was all he could give, eyes lowering to Danuja who looked sincerely like he'd seen a monster, a ghost. Even if he felt not a shred of pity for the man, it still made Haru's expression become somber, bits and pieces of what he thought he'd been capable of being shown before him. Those thoughts were wrong... they were so very wrong and yet for a moment he would have acted, would have ignored everything and thrown it all away if only to satisfy a vicious bloodthirsty rage. Was this what Byakko warned him about?

"..Let's hurry up and get this over with." Was the next response, sanity making his tone mellow and calm, more clarity returning to the Seer's face as his eyes didn't tear away from the sniveling fool who had begged for forgiveness, for mercy. Was he that afraid of death? The notion of death wasn't something to be feared for Haru. It was always a new dawn, endless and cruel. Sure, he'd feared death for a mere moment when Mai-Jing had pursued him, but was it the thought of a painful death caused him to run? The urge of self-preservation that had taken him in that moment was something very human, something that he could understand a little bit. But, the fear of fading away into the void... no, that was something that he welcomed, but this sniveling man was close to whimpering like that of a scared child, reverting further and further into a spineless shell of flesh. It made him sick.

Sei Shonagon · Jan 29, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: きくおはな - ヒトガワリ

The immobile figure of the Seer summoned blizzards in his lack of response. A hail-ridden wind that ferociously peppered her skin in ice kisses and shivers as someone who was left out in it. It was a similar feeling to the one she had experienced earlier at the firepit, but more merciless. More hollow in how it gouged out the last flickers of warmth from his crimson eyes that, at last, turned to her. The brunette stared into the eye of the storm, prickly discomfort worse than ever in how it disgraced her skin in truthful goosebumps and cut her breath at its suddenly lulled mercy.

Worse than ever and her heart aching more than ever at the apathy that flatly dimmed his gaze. She was just a pebble in his path, insignificant and easily disposed of in a kick. Her throat cracked the paralysis in a dry and grating swallow. Mitsuko understood his madness after all. It was one that she had dipped her toes into earlier and then quickly retreated from to remain fettered to reality. The same reality that appeared to have dawned upon the man once more as he snapped out of his daze and clutched at his head.

Haru was visibly distraught at whatever scenarios his mind had conjured up and although Mitsuko was not a mind-reader, she did have an inkling of an idea what it could have entailed. Her hand reached to pierce the invisible barrier between them. The folds of the fabric of reality warped under her fingers that entangled into his arm and delved around it. Mitsuko gave it a light squeeze, a reminder that he was not alone and that any previous transgressions had been forgotten and forgiven. They had a more pressing matter at hand to handle first.

She fixated on the overseer in piercing scrutiny and her nose scrunched up instinctively at his display of shamelessness. The Seer couldn't be blamed for how he had crackled up in a sputtering grin. The cruel kinks there to further emphasize the ridiculousness of the situation. Mitsuko truly felt like laughing herself, seeing how quickly the tables had turned. A peal of scathing laughter on that, nostalgic with the underlying sharp jabs of the sword that she wished to inflict on the man. A revenge for the actions of his peers and the violation that he had committed against Honomi.

Mitsuko bridled her expression as no sound made her thoughts known and unsheathed her sword with the man in focus during the entire time that it slid out of its sheathe. The blade glared ominously in his furtive pupils and his breaths stuttered under its foreboding presence. She turned to the Seer and held it out for him to grab it. "I will lend you my sword if you wish." Her voice resounded in a low and steady buzz of a murmuring brook. The brown eyes embraced him in a gentle squint.

Even if she wished to wring the blood out of his veins herself, it wasn't her revenge to perform. Not her pain to reclaim.

LONELYRAIN · Jan 29, 2023

Though he had turned away, even as these thoughts were beginning to ebb and close in a frustrated whimper deep within, the disgust at himself.. at what he just was considering, even in the foolishness of this situation had truly made him realize the gravity of his situation. Even if he had tried his best to take the situation seriously before, obviously he hadn't been doing so enough. No, he lacked discipline, lacked a proper leash upon his emotions, or at least the bubbling pit of rage and sorrow that seethed within him. It was... vast, endless and so very tempting for him to drop into at the slightest provocation. Truly, the man hated himself. The self-loathing sparked within as apathetic eyes gazed down at the trembling mam that was the overseer, still sniveling and whimpering, those accursed eyes still begging for mercy...

Mitsuko's hand had crossed through the barrier of condemning thoughts, her fingers coming into contact with the arm closest to her, both giving him once more the feeling of electricity and yet a colder feeling that would be quick to chase it away as she gave him a gentle squeeze. Haru's expression tightened in response, a furrowing of his eyebrows that caused familiar creases upon his forehead, and a deepening of his frown. From that action, she was attempting to convey forgiveness... she forgave him. But, why? Even if he didn't do a single thing now, even if he had stopped himself; it didn't truly matter. Her death, something that he'd never truly desired before had sparked within his mind and made him desire to shrink away from the hand that held onto him.

She should not forgive him so easily. He was not deserving of it now, certainly not when he had been reverted to nothing more than a beast. He.. would not give himself such clemency. It would not be forgiven.

The sound of a blade leaving its sheath had made ruby eyes flicked to the familiar sight. The overseer in turn had squirmed, as if trying to silently beg for them to not do it, to not take his life, breathing becoming far more grating on Haru's ears as Mitsuko had offered her blade to him, and this caused him to pause, to consider. It was more than tempting, even if Haru never held a blade in his life, the weapon alone would serve well to slaughter the man before them. But, his mind was quick to remind him of what he had nearly slipped into, would spilling blood himself cause him to slip? Would this encourage a sadistic rage within him? He... he didn't want that, not after the accursed thoughts had rushed through his mind toward his companion. As long as he remained in the room, as long as this man still drew breath in his lungs, Haru was far more dangerous than this mere blade that shone tempting and alluring before his eyes.

Eat. Rip and tear.. The voice cooed in his mind which made him shrink back from the blade itself, the firmness that had previously taken over his expression had turned into a visible flinch like he'd been stung. Eat?! Crimson eyes shifted to the overseer then, horror twisting within his stomach as he swallowed a wave of disgust. No, he couldn't take hold of that blade. Not now, certainly not now. "No... there's no need.." Haru's composure slid back into place, turning away as he spoke quickly, "It is better for you to do it... I don't think I'll be able to.. to.." He wouldn't be able to control himself, if he did the deed himself. Flickers of violent thoughts were flaring up from the soul within; imagery of tearing teeth ripping into soft flesh, ribbons of veins and arteries being punctured so easily, and the soul that would leave the body too would be devoured and added to his own strength.

It made him feel physically ill, his stomach turning in knots as his expression turned more strained. As much as he wished he could, for Mitsuko's sake and Honomi's... he should never be offered such a luxury, not how he existed at this moment where aramitama raged wild in his soul.

"P-Please, d-don't." The voice of the man whimpered, causing Haru's jaws to clench tighter as teeth threatened to bare, a fresh wave of rancid taste coming to the back of his throat. "Hurry, before I change my mind." This bastard was pleading for his life, after all the sins he'd committed?! Agitation flared in crimson eyes as he fixated instead on the tattered roof, taking in a deep breath that shuddered in his chest. Damn it all, truly. "I-I'll give y-you coin! I-Is that what you want!?" The audacity of this man... Haru's expression twitched, his voice struggling to hold onto calm, though it was punctured by cracks that betrayed the rage beginning to boil, "Hurry." He repeated. As if mere coin could buy him out of this?! How.. infuriating it was for the shamelessness of this fool! Eat... maybe he should devour- no! He mustn't.

His head was aching in the back and forth between selfish, vengeful thoughts and the smaller and shrinking ones of sanity. It was unbearable to hear the now endless blubbering from the overseer as it was truly dawning on the one named Danuja that this was to be his end. All useless words that fell on agitated ears as Haru's hands clenched into fists, a raggedness to his breathing as he stepped further away from the doorway. He couldn't stand there and listen to the fool who Mitsuko had demanded to be silent, if only he could remain silent! His voice was making his anger much, much worse.

Sei Shonagon · Jan 29, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: 破裂破裂破裂- Kikuo

To sever the bonds of trauma was not an opportunity that was granted to everyone. Rather, the opposite appeared to be true in its glaring absence. In most cases, the perpetrators would be allowed to roam freely despite their sins. It was the kind of injustice that was characteristic of life, that not all actions are punished proportionally and sometimes not at all if performed by certain people.

She didn't regret offering Haru the sword because of this. His rejection and inability to execute it himself merely meant that she would have to try and do justice for them. Mitsuko withdrew the sword and pivoted on her heels. Feather-light footsteps that deliberately went through the motion of setting down the heel first brought her in front of the man.

Her foot whipped through the air to deliver a well-aimed kick at his cheek. The impact pummelled through clenched jaws and busted them open in the sputter of a tooth that was hurled halfway across the room. "For my arm." She narrated in a steely second impact of her actions that were just beginning to tell the story of his impending doom. Mitsuko braced the blade in a vertical line above his leg and the man scrambled to get his bearings. Flailing hands scooted away from her looming figure until his back hit the wall, and all he could do was shrug back from the metal in inches.

Her feet dragged over the floorboards in slow trails after the man, like a predator stalking its prey into a corner. She stopped when he did. Sandals spread his legs apart at the calves that were nudged. His chest heaved in erratic waves that shattered against the cliffs of quivering lips. Mitsuko repositioned the blade over the leg again. "Wait-" The man's voice was cut off by a howling scream from the same mouth that had begged her for mercy. The blade plunged into the leg in a clean line to the floor below.

Skin, sinewy muscles and fat split apart to open a fissure for the visualised screams to pour out of. The blood cascaded forth as she retracted the sword in a turn of the faucet, and the man twisted along with it in agony. "For Haru." Her words droned by in the background of his gasps and gags that had his stomach rioting under the pain. He lurched forward and so did his dinner, a waterfall of digested food and saliva splattered over his torso and leg from parted lips.

Mitsuko positioned the sword over his crotch. "P..Puh...Puhlease.." The man slobbered through the dribbles of his dread that still wallowed out of him. "For Honomi." She prefaced her resolution cooly and let the sword plunge once more. The man was reduced to a curled-up pile on the floor and she hovered her foot above the throat that articulated his suffering to the world. It was a discordant sound that struggled to decide between a gasp, wail and moan that grated on her ears.

-Pulled all the wrong strings on her face which tensed under the deep-set daggers that she shot him. The foot nonchalantly pressed down on the throat and dug the heel of the sandal into the flesh in search of the jugular vein. He squirmed weakly under her weight in strangled wheezes. "Take your coin with you to hell." The sword flashed alongside brown eyes "-You'll need it for the fare".

The blade swished down into his temple and drove beady eyes out of their sockets. His fingers groped after the last flickers of life that seeped out of him and his eyes convulsed in one final bulge before they petrified in dulled orbs. Silence rolled in with the tide that swept his remaining breath away.

The brunette straightened in her stance and let her shoulders inflate with the tide as the man deflated in a shadow of his former self. His husk remained motionless below her as she turned to the Seer. The hem that spanned around her feet and sleeve was speckled with blood and her cheek was stained in an unusual liquid rouge. Her brown pools stilled into reflecting the light once more as her gaze softened "Was it at least a little bit satisfactory?".

LONELYRAIN · Jan 29, 2023

Haru not once had turned his head to view the man's suffering, for despite his eyes being trained on the ceiling, eyelids flickered as the man named Danuja filled his mind as figments of a future were beginning to fray, to crack. It was... fascinating to the man who stood immobile, images of the overseer in the faded visions beginning to vanish in rapid succession, piece by piece; one by one. It was as if the pages of his life were being erased, vanishing print and burning pages until there was nothing left. It ended, but he could tell enough from the pungent smell of the man's vomit, his blood and the silence that had settled that the man was completely and utterly dead to the world.

Mitsuko's voice had certainly echoed faintly in the man's ears, taking vengeance on the behalf of not just Honomi, but himself as well. It was... a hollow feeling in truth, the man who was his tormentor and his mother's being so quick to fold, to die, to vanish. It was almost frustrating, infuriating. Rosy lips parted as Mitsuko's eyes turned to look at him, her question causing him genuine pause as crimson eyes finally dared to look at the man who was now truly dead to the world. Soft lips pressed together then, his expression falling into emptiness as he stared at the still bleeding body, a body that would grow cold, stiff and eventually rot altogether. Any premise of soul that once inhabited the disgusting husk had already gone, already separated from the man he had hated so much.

Though this was a victory, it rang too empty, too hollow for him to take joy in it. It had been over too quickly, the years of suffering the soul had committed compared to the broken off future and subsequent extinguishing of his life had did little to ease the hatred bubbling in Haru's soul. In all honesty, death just seemed like an escape that Danuja had been forced into, for what of the living that were left behind due to the scars he inflicted..? His head shook lightly, "..I can take satisfaction that at least my mother will no longer suffer."

That was the truth. There was no joy in this death, at least not for him. In all honesty, Haru wished the man still lived so that he himself could replicate all the years of torment upon the soul, but it was already over. At least the man had died fearing those who he'd looked down on, ones who he treaded upon. In this, could Haru find some solace. "...Thank you." The words of gratitude rang hollow as he finally met Mitsuko's gaze, the familiar dark browns meeting his own, only for him to drop the connection as quick as it came, a hollowness within the Seer as he stepped closer to her, hand raising and coming to gently wipe away the blood that had smeared upon her face, careful was the touch as he cleared it away, a remnant of the creature that once lived vanishing from her cheek and instead staining his sleeve.

It wasn't truly a gentle caress, merely an action to distract himself from the butchered pig upon the floor, "Check on Honomi for me." Was his next words, quiet as he turned away from her and with it, his presence withdrew, the warmth that had been there was flickering, dark as he gazed down at the body. He needed some time for it to sink in, to think. He wasn't quite sure what to feel, and this shown in the now cold crimson eyes as his expression seemed far heavier than before.. exhausted if one could even try to attempt to describe it.

Sei Shonagon · Jan 30, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Festival- Sigur Ros

The man looked so fragile, brittle in his sheer emptiness that threatened to crack under the weight of his lips. Unsaid words heavy in both clenched jaws and dragging gaze that raked the corpse in sweeping lashes. The target for all of his bottled-up resentment was no more, and the lid which he had only hinted at unscrewing under whitening knuckles bled out into the ether in an anticlimactic whizz. With nowhere else to go and nowhere else to direct it, he turned it on himself.

Haru looked weary and gaunter than she remembered. As if the life had been sucked out of him in punctured cheeks and jutting cartilage of the throat. She perused the valleys, shady summer respites beneath the flickering heat of crimson eyes, and bared her metaphorical sword of brown eyes to his shield of cartilago thyreoides. She mounted it and continued lumbering up the bony hills that constituted the frame for his sombre being.

It extended towards her in a pacifying graze that melted her brown blades into glassy puddles. Mitsuko offered up the question to drained lungs that saw no provision from parted lips. When had he grown so old? She lingered upon him even after he had departed, touch still warm on her cheek in kindled tingles. Her gaze dipped to his leg, which was a bitter reminder of the reality of their situation, and branded the aching spot on her dilated pupils. Much like the Overseer had branded Haru with his eternalised cruelty.

The one who had thrown the rock had disappeared but the consequences remained in shattered glass. Mitsuko heeded his request, or was it an order, and removed herself from the situation that had never been hers to participate in, in the first place.

The woman was a vulnerable shape that had retreated into the corner. Mitsuko sheathed her sword and snagged the blanket from the futon and wrapped it around Honomi's cinched shoulders that trembled under an invisible breeze. The woman blinked bug-eyed back at her, frozen in time due to shock and unable to respond properly to the stimuli of the sudden weight. The brunette grounded her through the palms that secured her trembles in place. "Honomi." Her voice levelled itself with eyes that stared at a swirl on the wooden floorboards.

"Honomi. Follow my voice." The woman stirred in her catatonic state to blink lethargically at Mitsuko's features. Whether there was someone actually behind those empty eyes was unsure but the electrical signals motioned movement regardless. Pity racked through Mitsuko at the lost reaction of the woman who had adopted her as one of her own. It was all too similar to the reflection of the child she had once seen in the mirror, staring back at her. "Honomi, just follow my voice okay?" She chanted her name over and over to retain the little focus, the little consciousness that hinted through Honomi's stilted moves.

Mitsuko wrapped around her in a second layer of blankets and nursed a gentle squeeze of the rigid limbs against her bosom. "He can't hurt you anymore Honomi," She hushed against the slope of the woman's shoulder that made for the final resting place for lagging breaths. The reaction that she earned in response was a minimal one. Tension slightly alleviated from the figure that sagged in her embrace. "-He's gone Honomi. Dead." The figure flinched and flared up with renewed rigidity that encased her in a shell.

Transformed her into a husk with the name Honomi that ceased to breathe and to exist under the syllables that Mitsuko repeated with her tongue.

"He's dead."

Sparks sizzled underneath her flesh that rose in anticipation of the final bang. Mitsuko swallowed, hard.

"You're free."

There was no bang. Only pitiful echoes of the like that spattered from trembling lips as the woman unwound. Frayed apart in sobs and gasps that eventually culminated in a physical rumble of limbs and a downpour that was so heavy even without the lightning. Honomi wailed like it was her first time to do so, and Mitsuko held her tight through the tempest that was long overdue.

LONELYRAIN · Jan 30, 2023

Haru was left in the room to himself as Mitsuko would leave him to stare in blank eyes upon the corpse that commanded his attention. Mitsuko's footsteps would fade and with it, the Seer had turned to the sliding door and firmly closed it behind him, the sound ominous in the finality of the soft thud. Slender fingers twitched against the paper screen, his lips parting and drawing in breath to his lungs, the air tainted with death that was far too familiar to the man. His deaths flared to life behind his eyes as he looked to the butchered body, lacking life, lacking breath and completely and utterly useless in the flesh that was slowing the flow of crimson that stained the wooden floors. Transfixed was his gaze upon the bloody pool, his legs feeling weak as he slowly slid to his knees, shoulders slumping as the chaotic thoughts that he'd previously tried to ignore had rushed to him all over again.

E̸̯̔a̴̟͝ṫ̸̩. The eerie voice whispered mockingly in his ear, making the man's expression twitch, empty and glossy was the crimson eyes that stared at the wasting flesh, empty and without purpose. Danuja as he had lived was a waste of purpose, of flesh to begin with, perhaps in death he would serve some purpose to the starving monster gazing at deceased flesh. Rancid blood flowed again past the sides of his lips as the dark presence within his head seemed to be pushing him more, little faded hallucinations beginning to flare to life before his eyes as the dreaded nightmare's fleshy wings had descended like a cloak over his eyes, obscuring the dead man before him as the many, many fingers of the accursed creature's wings had caressed his skin, affectionate lines curving along cold cheeks.

O̴̘̽b̷̮͛l̵̘͋i̸̫̋v̶͓̎i̷̝͐o̵͇͆n̸̠͝ ̷̣͆c̶̬̀a̸̺̋l̸̡̆l̶̹̉s̷̩̕ ̶̝͐f̵̗͠o̷͔̎r̶̡̾ ̶̮͗ṵ̶̽s̷̡͛.̶̭̏ ̵̺̆O̷̮͊ǘ̴̪r̴̙̓ ̶͉̅b̴̗̈́r̸̹̀o̴̓͜t̴̛̗h̴̻͑ę̴̈́r̸̙̽s̶͙͂ ̵͉͑ẇ̵̳i̸̤̇ļ̷̚l̷̜̃ ̷̪̓t̶͓̿ȗ̶͈r̵̪̚n̴̤͝ ̷̺̉ö̶̹́n̸̥̕ ̷̗̈́u̸̲̿š̴̯.̸̳̂

There it was again, the twisted aramitama, echoes of his soul having been encouraged by the dread hallucination, eager to take advantage of the swell of emotions still within Haru's mind, disturbing the chaotic thoughts that settled between frustration and hunger. Yet, the voice had made Haru flinch, visibly flinch as his hands came up to his head, interrupting the tainted sensation of the Phoenix's twisted winged touch. Oblivion, it kept speaking of such a thing and yet at the same it was shoving him to do something as depraved as feasting on a corpse?

T̸̛͈o̵͙̍ ̷̼͐g̷̘̓ị̷̃v̶̉͜e̸̱͂ ̸̼͗u̴͉͘s̶̹̔ ̷̪̇s̸͈̒t̵̝͌ṙ̵̜ẻ̸̖n̷̿ͅg̷̨̓ţ̸̅h̸̹̚,̴͓̔ ̸̛̜f̶͖̒ǒ̶̪r̶̘̾ ̴͎̎o̶̫̊n̴̝̓e̴͜͝ ̷̙̕f̸̭͐i̸̢̛n̸̫͒a̸̮̅l̷̼͑ ̴̢̂t̸͘͜ǐ̸̫m̷̭̌e̸͉͑.̷̤̀

The voice cooed a bit insistently, as if trying to convince Haru, the other self far more selfish and less kind in its words. What was it even saying to begin with?! "Shut up.." Was the strained response, choosing to omit the words from his memory, choosing to pretend that he'd not heard a single thing. Willpower forced itself back into his own hands as the Seer's chest heaved, his breaths stuttering as he heard Honomi's wailing, piercing in its cries which made his heart break. Teeth bared as he faced the corpse again, tears of his own beginning to flare to life in his eyes. How he hated this situation, it.. what could he...?

He couldn't do anything.

The thought made his hands come to shield his face as he fought against the wave of grief, of anger that swelled in his chest. Even if Danuja was dead, even if he would no longer come to haunt his mother, he couldn't.. wouldn't comfort her. What use would it be for him in his own clouded rage to try to rush to his mother's side? What use could he even be with this... this corruption in his soul?! The whispers in his mind was driving him half-mad, and his mother's crying only served to sweep up the hatred in his heart toward the dead man, never giving himself reprieve.

Ỷ̶̠ő̶̳ụ̸͠ ̷̯̿a̶̱̔n̵͚͛d̴̹͌ ̵̝̈I̸̺͂ ̶̨͝c̶̉ͅa̵̺̍n̴͕̓ ̶̩͐ḃ̷̘ṳ̵̇ṛ̷̈́ñ̶̤ ̴̙͐á̵͉w̵̝̚a̸̦̔y̸̫͆ ̷͖͋t̷̘̄h̶̿͜ǐ̶̧ș̴̊ ̶͎̌w̶̯͊r̶̬̍ȩ̸͋ẗ̶̻c̸͇͊h̷̠͗e̸͎͒d̸̘̓ ̵͖̾ẘ̷͕ò̸ͅr̸̖͂l̷̰͆d̶̢̈́.̷̮̀

...

T̷̠͊h̶̳̋e̵̜͒n̴̩͋ ̵̰͋w̴̼̎ę̶͛ ̶̘̒ẅ̸̦́ị̶̋l̶͊ͅl̶̹͗ ̵͓̽n̷̪̕o̶̠̍ ̵̱͠l̸͙̀o̴̮̔n̵̠̆g̶͓͆e̴̪̒r̴͓̍ ̸̖̈́f̸̟̿e̶̳̾ẻ̸̖ļ̷͆ ̴̩͠t̷̞͛h̵̢͗i̶̼̽s̶̹̓ ̷͕̾p̵̜̕a̴̭̐ĭ̶̙n̵̏͜.̵̢̎

...

A̷̹͛l̵̲̎l̴̗̔ ̷̹̚y̸̛̘õ̶̲u̷̧̎ ̴͖̌h̶̙̉a̷̗͗v̶̪͝e̶͎̿ ̵̬́t̷̄͜ǒ̴̩ ̶̺͝d̸̥́o̸̢͠ ̷̻̄ị̵̊s̵̟̓.̷̢̓.̶̟̽.̶̜̂ ̷̞̍è̴͜a̸̻͊t̸̯͝.̴̗̉

Fingernails bit into his skin as he sucked in another shallow breath, eyes transfixed upon the blood seeping from the corpse, tears blurring his vision. The whisper was tempting in its offer... he would no longer feel this.. pain? This... agony? The dreaded other him had hummed in response, a lack of lies coming from the self from within. So, if he did this then.. He closed his eyes tight as disgust coiled deep within, his knees coming up as he wrapped his arms around them, smashing his forehead against the knees as he forced himself to not weep, his fraying mind beginning to tear all over again. Keep himself together, keep himself strong. He needed to, he needed to not allow himself to sink. Where was all his determination earlier? Was his will truly this weak, this fleeting? Another smack against his knees was his reward; his breathing ragged as the putrid smell was dragged in and tears finally dripped down his cheeks.

He swallowed in another breath, forcing down the urge to cry as he raised his head and forced his hands up to wipe his tears roughly away. Why was he crying? He didn't have the luxury of crying when his mother had been the one to suffer far worse than he ever had! Weak and pathetic as he always had been, never growing from that one point in time where his mind had been fractured beyond repair. And yet, he couldn't allow himself to be weak now, not when his mother's sobs still echoed in her home, a home which the atmosphere felt much, much darker.

But first... the corpse, dispose of it. Hide it.

Sei Shonagon · Jan 31, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Brombaer- under the moonlight

Slowly but surely, did the downpour ebb out into a light drizzle while sobs refracted into painstaking wheezing. She breathed through her mouth, nostrils too clogged with congested sorrow, and awoke halfway through the apocalypse in hands that grasped at Mitsuko's kimono. It was a weak grip, but a grip all the same that clung to life and to the steady heartbeats that guided her in pendulum swings. Their pulses harmonized and hypnotized into calmness once more, she pulled away. "Haru...is he?" Flooded brown eyes stared up in marshes at her that Mitsuko trampled right into.

She gulped and tugged her lips into a feeble smile "He's fine". The pause dragged on for a few stifled breaths before something new ripped it away in downturned eyes. "You're hurt!" Honomi gasped at the sight and clutched the bloodied sleeve in arthritic fingers, ever so caring, ever so elusive. It smudged off on them in red fingerprints until the brunette retrieved it. Mitsuko pulled it gingerly out of the hands that intended to seal any possibility of bringing up the source of her distress. "It's not mine." She soothed at the woman who hardly looked surprised at this revelation. Honomi pursed her lips and angled away so that the wall could engulf whatever expression she made.

Somehow Mitsuko knew that it wasn't a pleasant one. The woman clenched her fists in her lap, a shaky ordeal that meant to set her in stone as the regret whipped in gales at her spirits. "I'm...I'm sorry," She stuttered in sing-songy frailty, one that not even the most melancholy mourning dove could replicate. "If I hadn't...If I had just given him what he wanted-" She tripped over her own words as they tangled with the threads of the excuses that she yanked at. Grasped at for all and any reason to shift the blame onto herself, to assume the burden of the red stains as she clutched her head.

The brunette scrunched up in bitter sparks that kindled brows into furrowing and a hand to squeeze the woman's shoulder. Mitsuko cut her off with a gasp for air "Don't say that". She leaned into her palm to cement her resolution against the trembles "It wouldn't have changed anything". Whether it was today or tomorrow, the overseer would have met his end. It was just a matter of time and place and at whose hands. If not at hers, then at the hands of another vengeful soul. Another vengeful son, another grieving son and another abandoned grandchild. It wouldn't have changed it. She just got to see it now- the future without him.

She was here and he was gone. "Still-" The woman persisted with her breath in her throat "No mother would ask that of their children". "No child would ask their mother to torture herself either." Mitsuko bit back. Honomi blinked back at her with saucer-like eyes that threatened to spill. The daughter eased up in a warm beam. Finally, finally she got to say those words. The ones that she had carried inside her for so many years. The ones that she had not dared to utter to anyone, but the shadows that crept in the corners of the mansion.

-To the door that lead into her mother's room, lit kiseru poisoning the air in tear streaks of grey upon the abandoned kyosoku, and to the hand, that palmed in second lids upon brown eyes.

Mitsuko slid her hand down the shoulder to graze the waves of her sleeve and ebb out against Honomi's palm. She dug her digits into the invisible sand between her fingers and cradled it. "It's fine. It's not your fault." The brunette gave the hand a squeeze and a smile.

---

Mitsuko helped the woman get dressed properly and put her to rest on the futon once more. The sliding door sealed shut behind her with a mellow knock that rang out into the desolate corridor. She retraced her steps back to the other room where she had left the Seer and halted in front of the threshold. The room was quiet on the other side of the paper door.

LONELYRAIN · Jan 31, 2023

Neji - Elfen Lied OST

His heartbeat was a dull thud within his own ears as the man had shifted on hands and knees, unwinding from his cowering shape upon the floor, sucking in another breath as his frayed mind struggled to glue together, piece by jagged piece, fitting into ill-fitting slots as the Phoenix within his mind hissed in excitement at the slowly stirring limbs. Dispose of it, get rid of it... but how? How? His mouth parted as saliva and crimson flowed from the rosy lips, tainting the crimson pool as slick blood had stained his slender fingers the closer he approached what had caught his gaze, the severed leg. Teeth clacked together in impatience as the Seer slid closer, grabbing hold of cold flesh and dragging it close to his chest, his breath catching in his throat at the ill-gotten flesh.

Ȩ̵̙͑ą̷̎̋t̶̙̿̄ ̸͉̀i̴̻̚͝t̴̝̏.̸̪̕͝ The voice hissed once more in the man's ears as he gazed down at the severed flesh, crimson eyes darting up to the slumped body and back again as his mouth seemed all too eager to go against his usual flow of thought, of rationality. It felt... wrong and heavier in his hands, perhaps due to life no longer remaining in the limb and yet the man's mouth descended upon the top where jagged muscle and fat remained, blood slick upon the disgusting, raw surface. It smelled pungent, causing his stomach to immediately coil and heave in the lack of morals guiding his movements, tongue lightly pressing against the meat, teeth sinking into soft skin and popping flesh, flowing into his mouth with a fresh flow of human blood.

It burned. It tasted awful.

Immediately the limb was tossed from his horrified hands as one had flowed to his mouth, the soft sucking sound of his teeth leaving its grip on the flesh echoing in his ears, gagging as his eyes widened in shock, a cough causing blood to splatter against his open palm as he shook his head in horror, the other flying to his hair as he struggled to suck in breaths to calm himself. Had he just... did he really just do that?! He was disgusting, a foul creature if he for a single moment had heeded the crazed beast in his own mind. The tears that he was holding back threatened to rip at his eyes, making him immediately close the rubies as he couldn't bring himself to even comfort himself with shaky whispers. The taste of human blood lingered on his tongue nonetheless, the texture tainting the very same tongue that was picking up the foul taint of bile that settled upon the back of his throat. No.. he couldn't here.

Swallowing, Haru's hand dropped from his mouth, a line of sticky blood clinging to the withdrawing hand, black in coloration with the foulness of his soul. It made him feel even more so sick to look at the foul liquid staining his palm, causing his fingers to curl inward and fingernails to press rivets into his palm. No, no more heeding that other self in his head, not even for a single second. He would be a fool if he did otherwise. Struggling to his feet, the man took in another breath as his bad leg buckled in a familiar struggle against his weight as he allowed flame to dance to life upon his palm. I have to burn it. Burning it was the only solution at this moment, otherwise if he stayed too long within the room he would do something he would certainly regret. Devouring a corpse, stuffing his mouth with flesh despite how disgusting it tasted... that would be his fate. Taking the body out would be unheard of too, people would see, and if it got a slave in better standing with the overseers, they wouldn't hesitate to throw Honomi at the others mercy if it meant special treatment, avoidance of pain, of suffering. This he would not forget, no matter how many years he'd been away from this hell.

It perhaps was disrespectful to do such a thing to a corpse, refusing to say the usual funeral rites before one would either cremate or bury the body, but Haru would not allow himself to give Danuja such a privilege, a right. No, not after what he had done, what his dead body was doing to Haru's mind. The other self protested at the action, screeching endlessly in the man's head as he forced the flame upon his palm to swell, ushered to a brilliant flickering upon his skin in the surge of spiritual energy that Byakko had graciously supplied him. Control it. The Tiger's familiar voice echoed in a lesson on his first day, causing Haru to take in a breath and slowly exhale as he flung the flame upon the body, hungry fire beginning to lap eagerly at the deceased body as Haru's crimson eyes fixated upon the magic fire, watching as flesh was rapidly burning away, reducing to ash as the fire hungrily lapped at fat, at muscle and veins, shriveling up the body as Haru did his best to keep his concentration, to not allow it to wane.

He knew not how long he stood, keeping watch in silence over the magic fire as it burned away the corpse, but soon all that did remain was ash. Not even bone would be left behind from the hungry flames which in a single twitch of his hand, the fires themselves had flickered out of existence, returning back to the exhausted man who staggered, falling to his knees with another dull thud, his breathing coming quick as his concentration could finally be broken. Oh, he felt... ill, it was familiar to him though in the same sensation that had overcame him when he'd nearly spent all of his energy before. Was he just unused to such a thing, or was he just that weak? "Damnit.." He grunted, his fist colliding with the wooden floorboard as the smell of burnt flesh now filled his nostrils, blinding him to anything else... except for the footsteps that had stopped just before the paper door behind him, causing the Seer to turn his head, eyes narrowing at the familiar presence on the other side.

Did he really want to look at Mitsuko? To allow her to see him like... this..? A hand came up to hastily rub away the rancid blood upon his mouth to his sleeve, sitting upright and eventually standing fully to his feet and grabbing hold of the sliding door to shove it open. Hollow crimson eyes stared at Mitsuko's face, a fragility to the rubies that betrayed not what had transpired while she was not at his side, but his pale face and ill appearance seemed to show enough, enough that he wasn't well. Behind him, the obvious lack of much of a corpse was quite startling as he took in a breath, "We need to get rid of the rest." Calm was his tone despite the whites of his eyes being stained with red, evidence of tears to irritate them as he turned away to retreat back in the room to the ashes that his fire had left behind, ashes that once belonged to an overseer who would no longer come to haunt his mother.

He should take comfort in that. He should. Like any good son, he should.
...
So, why didn't he? Why wasn't this... satisfying, comforting?

...

Two weeks would flow past, two weeks that passed through the Seer's fingers like sand. Honomi would return to her usual bright and bubbly self, as if she could not for a single second allow the cheer to leave her body. Haru on the other hand had withdrawn, ever since Danuja had passed and his ashes subsequently scattered and dispersed, the Seer didn't linger within the home. Long days and even longer nights he would roam from Honomi's abode to stay in the sanctuary that was Byakko's domain to train, throwing himself into his training as much as he possibly could to disperse the unpleasant feelings within his chest. Numb them, forget for a single second that he'd allowed himself to drop to the same level as a rabid beast, and... and...

He couldn't eat.

Food was avoided, intensely so by the Seer, since that day he couldn't get the disgusting taste out from his mouth, no matter how many times he forced river water down his throat, or even try to bury his own head in the cooling waters to get it away from him, it simply wouldn't leave. Disgusting, foul it was, reminding him of the sin he'd nearly committed as vile human blood still danced upon his tongue, and the Phoenix's jeering certainly didn't make it much more bearable either. Instead, any food that Honomi managed to corner Haru with and force him to eat would be vomited up later as his body rejected the normal food, the normal substances. The bile would be covered up of course, buried so it wouldn't be discovered while his body was slowly suffering for it. Was it out of guilt? Or was it due to the fact he had tasted something that he shouldn't which had messed up something so very important inside of him?

The orb of his soul was cracking. Cracking... cracking, it oozed and bled just a little bit more, slowly and methodically in each black droplet that filled his insides, insides that were shriveling, dying. Despite Byakko's lessons ending with him pouring his divine, pure energy within Haru before he would collapse somewhere out of his sight, the blackened ooze eagerly swallowed up the energy and consumed it greedily, not purifying as it should, but instead worsening the whispers in the Seer's mind as the man would be subjected to more horrid and vivid nightmares of the self that remained inside, a self that kept urging him to oblivion, kept urging him to chase after the dreaded taste that filled his taste buds because of that foul monster's death. It was sickening, he felt... ill.

Eventually though, on the dawn of the fourteenth day since his roaming had begun, the Seer had allowed himself to sleep in the comfort of Honomi's home, his body feeling heavy, feeling so very weak as it was being deprived of precious nutrients and tearing himself slowly apart. Slow was the heavy eyelids that pried themselves open as the smell of salted fish drifted in the air; his favorite food. Cracked lips parted as he felt his mouth watering, only for bile to swiftly come up which in turn caused the Seer to immediately scramble out of the futon and forced his body to dart to the porch, heaving in weak gags and little coughs as nothing but bile and saliva would come up, and yet more of that accursed taste had swelled on his tongue. Ragged was his breathing as his thin hands came up to the sides of his pounding head, a weak whimper leaving his lips as tears threatened once more to swell, tears that he'd denied for them to fall as he struggled not to cry. This... this was getting...

Too much. Overbearing. P̴̗͠ä̷́ͅi̸͈̍ṅ̷͖f̶̛͔u̵͒͜l̷͙̓.̷̮̐

Slow was his steps as he struggled to get to his feet, staggering underneath the wave of dizziness that met him as his body chastised him for the lack of food within him, heavy eyelids and a composed, icy exterior was his defense as the man made his rare appearance within his mother's home, the woman in question jumping at the rare sound of the sliding door from Haru's room being opened as wide brown eyes turned to look at her son, a smile being all to quick to flow over her face, "Oh! Ha...ru..?" The enthusiasm in her voice, excitement to see her boy again was soon dampened as eyes bore worried holes in the darkness swelling behind the glassy crimson eyes and the lack of emotion in the haggard face and longer hair of her boy. This shadow of her son was not the Haru she knew, not the boy who would ignite red at the lightest provocation or even show vivid expressions upon his face. This shadow was not the same boy who would sweetly smile at her or show such tender emotions to the woman Honomi had adopted eagerly under her wing. This shadow was... fraying, broken. Ruined.

Trembling fingers clasped together in worry, "Good morning." Was the hesitant words that slipped from her lips then, hoping to potentially get a response in return. He had responded all the other times during the two weeks, hadn't he? This would be no different, she was sure. The man's lips parted, then quiet and hoarse came the voice, "..Good morning..." So very weak, as if the strain of talking was too much for the man as he settled himself suspiciously away from the fish currently being prepared by Honomi, her eyebrows furrowing at the action as she looked down to the salted fish in question. But... this was always his favorite food, he never usually would react in such a way! He always would be so very happy and eager to eat, no matter if it was made perfectly or not.

Was he sick? This caused Honomi to look over to the boy who appeared as if he was vanishing before her eyes, paler was his skin than before and dark circles were beginning to form permanent crescents underneath the ruby eyes that stared at nothing, his breathing was slow, calm though which betrayed not the anxiety, the shattered composure in his own head. If only she could pry open the silence, the icy barrier that had erupted between both mother and son. "..Are you feeling alright, Haru?" She pried, poking slightly to see any life within her son. Empty eyes stirred to flicker in her direction, meeting the warm brown as he seemed to be thinking, little gears beginning to slowly turn and whirl to life, only for him to not even be able to muster the same fake smile that he knew him to do time and time again, "...I'm alright." It was such a horrid lie, one that made Honomi's shoulders sag as her head turned, pain flickering across her face as tears began to spring to her eyes.

Was this all her fault? Did.. did Danuja do something to Haru to cause him to be in such a bad way? Could she have done something more back then? Could she have been stronger so that her son... oh, her son. Broken fingers hesitantly adjusted the salted fish being slowly grilled over the firepit, a shaky breath being taken in, "Haru, please... what is happening to you?" Shaky lips were beginning to betray the tears that Honomi was trying her best to hold back, worried tears as she looked to her boy, pleading as her eyes met the empty rubies, "This.. this isn't normal! Not for you! Please, let me know what is happening? What can I do to help?" Haru's eyes tightened, the darkness underneath the rubies becoming icier as Honomi turned to face her boy, "Is it something I did? I-Is it-" She took in a panicked breath, trying her best to calm herself as trembling hands reached out to Haru, "What is causing you so much pain?" He was withdrawing again, the Seer shifting away from her outstretched hands, gentle hands that would gently pry the horrors out from his heart, squeeze him and force him to unveil the pain within.

He couldn't allow that.

"Haru-" A harsh sound resounded as stinging fingers were suddenly drawn back to Honomi's chest as Haru hand had flashed out, swatting her fingers away from him, his eyes twitching about within frenzied whites as he seethed, "There is nothing you can do to help me. Stay out of it." The iciness, the harsh edge to his voice cut deep into the woman as Haru had wheezed, standing to his feet as Honomi's eyes followed him helplessly as once more the Seer had withdrawn away from her grasp, tears beginning to swell in her eyes as the sliding door to his room opened and slammed shut firmly, making the icy feeling settle within the home, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks as she could hear his uneven gait leaving yet again and the even more distant sound of the porch sliding doors slamming shut as well, "..Haru..?" Weak was the voice that uttered his name, helpless.

Was... was she losing her son? Did she push him away, push too much? Was this... all her fault after all?

Sei Shonagon · Feb 5, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Som isarna- Orup (cover by Petra Marklund)

The door appeared to be an impenetrable fortress at first glance. Yellowed shoji paper a solid glacier and the wooden frame, the pikes that separated the natives from the wildlife. She felt like an intruder, bracing themselves to mount the distance between her hand and the handle to disturb the silence. And perhaps she was. Tension precipitated from frostbitten fingers and a lack of acknowledgement of her presence. And floorboards creaked under her weight as she shifted back and forth on her feet.

Waited and waited for the right moment to breach the hesitation that had piled around static legs. The right moment. Brown eyes strained at her sandals. Ah. She had walked in with her shoes on. The mud that dappled the edges of the bound straw dusted off it in crumbles. To think that she had not noticed it until now. Had she trodden all over the house like this and dirtied it? The brunette slipped her feet out of the sandals and pushed them to the side. Irregular breaths clogged up her throat once more in lungs that refused to operate within the boundaries of the door.

Maybe it wasn't the right moment that she needed, but the courage to make one. The sobering thought drifted to the surface along with a hand that clutched her head to disperse the images. His face, flickering and cracking. -The dark apathy that had oozed forth from rifts of weary lines around eyes and the acid that curdled in downturned mouth corners. Satisfied? Why had she asked if he was satisfied? What was there to be satisfied with about a corpse? She should have asked if he was okay! Clenched jaws parroted the fist that balled handfuls of the hakama.

He wasn't...He wasn't her client. He wasn't her father.

The doors opened and spears were brandished in crimson eyes that jabbed her chest with hidden blades. Haru assumed the appearance of the dulled edge, worn-out on indecipherable obstacles that only ashes remained of. Mitsuko glanced past him as he alluded to 'the rest' of the man that sprinkled the floor with an unconventional carpet. Her expression darkened. She shouldn't have left. Furrowed brows proclaimed her regret to the fuming ashes, smoke bound to scatter in the distance. Just like everything else familiar seemed bound to disintegrate in puffs of breaths between them.

Stretched the space out to anything intimate, anything warm in the past as emotions cooled under the reign of silence. The way he looked made her almost wish that she hadn't drilled her sword into the man.
---
The days drifted by in a haze, day and night were equally indistinguishable in how she spent every moment chasing traces of the Seer. Searched for new wrinkles on the sheets of the futon, counted the fish for a scale less and spent nights nested on the porch in his absence. The heat of summer became more reminiscent of the isolating cold of winter for each day that passed. And Mitsuko shivered in her own powerlessness to stop the blizzard that froze hearts within the walls, drafts of frost slipping through the cracks.

Honomi tried her best to seal them with her flickers of smiles and warm compassion. But her touches only peeled the splinters off further as wood rotted from the dampness where cold met heat on desperate palms. The brunette tried her best to accommodate for the lack of tact that Haru displayed during it, but Mitsuko could only soothe so far with her clumsy attempts. She couldn't replace her son at the end of the day, and neither could she undo the past. So what could she do? Train. She could train.

Wring insecurities out in perspiration upon sore hands and force remembrance on languid muscles. The air whizzed past her blade as it cut through nothingness and rang out in silence over the earthen arena. Mitsuko speared it into the earth and collapsed over the hilt in hunched shoulders as breaths heaved scattered thoughts at the ground. Her gaze stirred undecidedly over the bumpy remains of it, brown and shapeless. The shadow of her unmoving form grew stale under the morning rays that were cast from the east.

"Grrrughg." A low rumble made itself known from her folded stomach and she clutched the skin as muscles inverted the sound to a sucking motion. "Breakfast." Was the absentminded comment that accompanied the action while the brunette composed herself. The sword slid back into its sheath and slicked bangs were brushed out of her face. Previously limp fingers scoured the scalp in renewed functionality and her gaze focused on the outlines of the village below.

The humble abodes bumped over the torrid land as an extension of it, walls the same ochre colour and ringlets of smoke flagging the lives that they harboured. The sight imparted a sense of familiarity with it, one that reminded Mitsuko of the past fourteen days that she had spent pacing by the said houses and intermingled with its inhabitants. She had, in a sense, become one of them. At first merely on the technicality that she lived amongst them and later, as conveyed through the routine greetings. The tea that was offered in the safety of their homes and the children that were entrusted in her care, much to her chagrin, during short reprieves of fun and games.

The people were poor and in no position to welcome another vagabond into their masses, and yet they still did. Her assimilation granted them no benefits except another soul to interact with, and yet they still made the effort. Despite the overhanging threat of betrayal, despite the murky future that awaited them each morning.

Just like the person that she had begun to associate the word breakfast with and to whom she steered her steps.

Returning 'home' was a mechanical action of legs, making short work of the path back up the hill to Honomi's house. Mitsuko didn't at first register the shape that materialised from the porch, as residues of adrenaline still ploughed through her body during the motion. That came afterwards when brown eyes ripped wide open at the rugged ribbons that whipped past her, unruly mane unrecognisable in all but its colour- green.

"Haru." The name tasted like a forbidden relic on her tongue, meant to be relegated into forgetfulness by a body that no longer housed its definition. Mitsuko bit down on the dust and fished for his sleeve in a panicked jerk. It got hooked. "Haru, wait you-" Her hoarse voice betrayed the apprehension behind the fingers that steeled themselves on the hem. Bewildered eyes implored his visage to remain beside her. To not disappear like the ghost that haunted the walls of the home. But no matter how many times Mitsuko batted her lashes, she couldn't get the dots to connect to the figure in front of her.

Her companion, the ghost and this contorted visualised sum of them both. "You're..." Her expression dropped alongside the gaze that dipped to his wiry wrist, all bones and no flesh where it acted as coathanger for the sleeve. The brunette was hushed into dormant silence. Fading was the word that she searched for as teeth abused the insides of her mouth. Instead what came out after a stifled exhale was "-Honomi is worried. Are you eating? Where are you sleeping? Why don't you-".

LONELYRAIN · Feb 5, 2023

Slam. The sliding door to the porch had slammed shut with anxious energy from the Seer's thin arms, fingers trembling in restlessness as exhaustion pulled at his body, his strength was waning. How much longer could he keep this up? How much longer until this... oblivion will take him? The Phoenix was mocking in his own head, taunting him with flickers of his sin, flickers of the traitors' sin that flashed in blinding succession in a mind that was slowly unraveling despite all the glue that Haru had forced together so it would stick, so it wouldn't all fall apart. A fleshy beast begged to differ, the nightmarish bird was slamming against the already breaking, fragile walls, throwing as much weight, as much unsettled pain that it could possibly fling to wrestle the slightest sliver of control from a mere boy that was trying his best to keep it at bay. It wanted flesh, it wanted retribution, it wanted to murder, to release its anger, its pain.

Haru did not. He wanted none of those violent things. And yet, his body was begging to differ, his lack of food being the more glaring problem that stared back at him in the bony fingers and wrists, the mouth that watered and reminded him of the foul taste that wouldn't leave, and the eerie sensation of the Phoenix looming over his shoulder whenever by chance a soul would dart near. It would be easy, so quick... yes the taste was disgusting but he could get used to it! Yes, yes! It would be so easy, they were mere mortals, mortals that insisted on continuing to break his poor, poor heart... it would only be right, only be divine justice if they became his prey. Blood to wash away his agony, flesh to soothe the scars that bled in his mind, his soul. Teeth clattered together then as he sucked in a sharp breath, his heart pounding in his chest as he wrestled against the insanity within his mind.

No wonder Byakko had told him to suppress his rage, to allow it to die, to not let it overtake him.

He was scared-

A thin leg had moved to take a wobbling step, only for a far stronger grip to immediately stop him, the Seer wobbling back on his feet as the tiniest bit of momentum was enough to make him nearly fall, the world serving to jerk before his eyes as his head pounded anew with a fresh headache. Her scent was quick to follow, too quick along with her voice... it was enough to cause his pounding heart to stop as his gaze was fixated on the distant greenery that lay now so far out of reach, his escape to a sanctuary whose guardian only now regarded him with increasingly uneasy glances... well, perhaps it wasn't much of a sanctuary after all? But, it certainly was far better than this, the only other person he didn't want to see him, who he had taken painstaking lengths to avoid, someone who he didn't account for being right there when he didn't want her looking at him; he didn't even know what to say to her.

The tether that was his sleeve kept him anchored to her, the thin body unmoving aside from the slight sway of the breeze that tussled the now tangled long locks of verdant which hung about his head. Sunken eyes, heavy with the blackened bags underneath them had slowly turned to Mitsuko, crimson eyes stirring within the empty red pools that stared blankly at her. Her words was halted, went unspoken as he felt the lovely dark browns prod and poke at his thin frame, a slow breath being one of a heavy sigh leaving past lips that quivered, pale and ghastly like the rest of his complexion. Her questions served to agitate the other him in his mind, stirring irritation to flare where by all means there should be none.

Quivering lips struggled to draw in breath, his eyes dropping from her own, "..I don't want... food." Slow and methodical was the quiet words that dropped like stones from the Seer's lips, "..I can sleep just fine.. outside." A lie, evident by the hollow eyes that stirred underneath heavier eyelids; evidence of nightmares that clung to the man persistently. Haru swallowed in another breath as if that was becoming steadily more difficult for him to do as seconds began to bleed by. "...Why don't I...? What?" The words didn't come out icy, instead were weak and feeble. "Eat? Sleep? I... I-" Teeth clattered together once more as he sucked in a breath and exhaled, forcing down the wave of anger beginning to spark in the cracking soul. He'd already snapped at Honomi; no need to do the same to Mitsuko.

"..Forget it." Numb, an icy numbness had settled as his shoulders sagged; her smell taunting the man, tainted with the hunger coiling in his stomach... it hurt. But he couldn't. "..What do you want? Do you need anything?" Settle into empty questions, questions that truly meant nothing, questions that ignored the obvious of his deteriorating self. Questions that he certainly wouldn't ask otherwise in this situation if he had the strength to shrug her off, force her away from him and run. His body would not obey him anyways, not now. Ugh, how he felt so... weak, so ill. Was he feel nauseous again? No.. no no, not here.

Sei Shonagon · Feb 6, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: lovers- arauchi yui

Why don't you talk to us? To me? If only she could force his lips to motion his worries out loud. Coax the syllables out of him with squeezing fingers so she could embrace them. Cup them in her trembling palms and carry the weight for convalescent cheeks that she would fill with words of comfort instead. Instead. Instead- what came out was vague and avoidant words meant to steer away. Walled off 'I don't want to' and placating 'just fine' that upheld the arm's length of distance between them.

"Forget it?" Mitsuko echoed his words like a broken record while emotions hinged on the scratches on her expression. Chafed in the folds of crinkles and swirled aimlessly within brown eyes while a monotonous note resounded from it: Anger. Her hand transferred from sleeve to wrist, a denuded branch that threatened to break off at the slightest breeze, the slightest touch. "Forget this?" Her other hand peeled back the sleeve, embodying bark, up his arm and raised it for him to see.

The forearm glared back at the man in jutting bones and exposed veins that were shrivelling in on themselves. Everything but verdant, but flourishing. This was the first time she had seen him in days. Her discordant visage narrated her fear of that it would be the last. Regret ploughed through her features in tight-knit brows and scrunched-up eyes. "Yeah. I do need something." She simmered beneath the clenched jaws that held back tides.

Fingers wound tighter around the wrist to deny him escape on the back of sails. His arm was locked in place. "I need you to stop avoiding me. To stop avoiding Honomi." On second thought, it was obvious why he had become such a recluse. Why he didn't dare rest his legs in the confines of the home, because lest they would take root. Why sewn together lips refused passage to the smallest morsels of nutrition, lest he would start to desire again. Why he isolated himself under a vow of silence-

-lest he would start to feel again.

Haru was a dying mutt, retreating into his shell with his tail between his legs in the search of a final resting place. Mitsuko reached out to rub the withering green strands against her fingers. Her favourite colour, the colour of life.

They broke off in dried hay "What happened to the Haru that told me to trust him?".

Her voice died in tandem with the anger that dulled to a sombre flatness "Are you giving up?".

Invoke his anger. A reaction. Anything to prove that he still remained inside of those sandpapered crimson eyes. Surface raw and obscured by thousands of tiny cuts that bled him out slowly.

LONELYRAIN · Feb 6, 2023

The nausea swirled within an empty stomach, and the tether had changed to a hand that may as well be a tight chain around his thin, feeble wrist, her skin was searing against the chill that had settled on a body that was struggling to regulate its heat, any sign of divine warmth or even human warmth was weak, barely pulsing with a liveliness that would have possessed him weeks before, a liveliness that he had forced himself to maintain as much as he could for the sake of this pointless journey, a journey that had forced his eyes open to reveal to him how futile, how small and how little he actually could do or know. How broken he truly was, how much of a fool he had been, how truly pathetic and useless he would prove to be time and time again; only to be thrust into another feeble flicker of determination that would wane underneath the pressure of the other self within him.

Mitsuko however seemed to be persistent, a child that forced the Seer to look, to truly look at what he was doing to himself. The thin, bony arm now flared with goosebumps as she had peeled away the ragged, dirty sleeves of his kimono, forcing him to look at how withered, how brittle and how weak he had let himself become. Shame was the first emotion that filled his vessel as the heavy crimson of his eyes had remained transfixed on the thin, dying limb that remained before him in evidence of his cruelty directed to no one else but him. His jaw clenched as he forced his eyes to look away. Yes, forget it. Yes, forget all of it. Pretend that she didn't see him, pretend that this never happened. This would be easier for him, easier for him to be able to allow himself to crumble out of view, to hopefully take this darkness, this pain with him into a new life that would be ignorant to it all.

But that would be selfish.

Silence would meet the anger of his companion that he didn't even fight against, his thin shoulders sagging as dull rubies seemed set on being far more interested in looking elsewhere than her. The headache was worsening... his stomach was twisting in knots.. He closed his eyes tight to dispel the uncomfortable feelings, forcing him to zero in on Mitsuko's request, her need. For him to stop avoiding her and Honomi, for him to stop running away. More guilt piled high on the weakened soul, the bleeding cracks aching in fresh pain, and with it Mitsuko's touch could be felt as she had reached out to verdant hair that broke away so easily, dull and dying due to the lack of care, the lack of spirit that remained in the husk; in which she would ask him a cruel question. What had happened to the Haru that told her to trust him?

The guilt weighed heavier then, his lips pressing in a tight anxious line as he struggled to take in a breath. That was... he really was... so pathetic. All too quick to drown in his own woes, to forget the responsibilities that he still held, to try and rush off to try and die, again and again. Selfish, truly underneath all of the selfless speeches and the self-righteous haughtiness, in these moments of weakness, Haru was selfish. What was he doing? How could he explain- no, there was no explanation. For Mitsuko had struck deep, her prying words being as deadly as a blade through the man's heart. Was he giving up?

Yes, because he was tired. Yes, because he had no true use to himself, destined to die and live and die again. Yes, because his mind wasn't whole, because it was all too much, too much and no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he struggled to scoop it all up in his arms and push it deep down, it would always surge upward in tainted sludge that spilled through every crack. Yes... because he was weak, and the other self knew that, preyed on that weakness that served as the sore spot within the man's mind, his heart. The heavy eyes slowly looked at Mitsuko then, a tension in the air between the two as he wouldn't answer... not yet.

"...I'm tired, Mitsuko." Quiet was the words, whispered in a voice that barely even had the strength to push them out. Haru was at his limits, and pushed past the brink, drowning and struggling to hold onto what was him... but even then, what was the real him anyways? Could he even make that distinction anymore? Who was in control of this body.. this vessel? Why did he hunger for things that he should very much not partake in? Why did the Phoenix seem all too willing to torture him with nightmares and memories when he already knew?! Why was this happening to him? ...Because he couldn't let things go.

Because he was a selfish fool.

The rubies dimmed further at the scathing thought, expression twisting as tears began to swell in the crimson eyes that stared back at his companion. Yes, he was tired of this. Why spare any attention, any kindness on him? "..I'm... very.. tired.." He repeated as he sucked in a breath, the tears beginning to fall down gaunt cheeks and leave tear streaks behind upon an exhausted face. A reaction, but not the fires of rage or irritation, there was no flames to fill the empty man that was breaking apart. He would not say 'give up', for saying so would truly cement that sentiment that he didn't desire to give word to unless it would prove to be that much more real.

Maybe she should seek another divine beast to assist her in her goal? Not this.. half-broken, selfish thing that barely even desired to prolong its life, who was so quick to crumble under the weight of responsibility... yes, she should seek someone else. Byakko would be.. be a better choice than he. And yet this thought seemed to sting just a little bit more onto the pile of guilt he already held. Heavy eyelids concealed the eyes glistening with tears, causing more of them to flow.

Sei Shonagon · Apr 17, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: j's lullaby (darlin' I'd wait for you)

There was no bite to go along with the eventual reply that was as obvious as the sky was blue. Only a dreary silence, dragged over the hills and through grass by the surprisingly cold wind. Mitsuko watched it pull Haru down with it, shadows sagging over the newfound hollows of his face. Drag, everything was dragging for him. From the way his chest stuttered through expanding inhales, to the inevitable collapse of it. It almost looked like he was slowly shutting down. Walls crumbling little by little until eventually the mind would cave in on him. She feared that one of those stumbling breaths would suddenly become his last, that was how frail and dejected he appeared in the eyes of the brunette.

And quiet was the descent, nary a whisper uttered between facial features that succumbed to the weight. A desire to hold him welled up alongside the tears and it was one that Mitsuko didn’t suppress for once. Her hands travelled from brittle hair to equally wiry shoulders and gently pulled him against her.

If he was going to collapse, then he might as well collapse on her. If he didn’t know how or couldn’t allow himself to feel, then she would show him how and feel it for him. It wasn’t until her palm brushed up his nape and guided the tear-stained face to dry off on her shoulder that she noticed it herself. How a pair of invisible hands pried off her clenching heart while she let her own nestle into green strands. How a weight was lifted off her lungs while another was added onto her collarbone. Oh. She was also tired.

Everything unpleasant was drained out of her through the squeeze of their two bodies. As if this was what she had needed all along. The fault lay therefore in how she had pretended that she didn’t. Once the tap had been turned on it kept on coming. “Sorry.” She breathed a new breeze into his hair. Warm and thawing away at the hesitation that lingered. Mitsuko relented to the pounding heartbeats that pulled at her chords and drew a shaky inhale of her own. “Sorry that I didn’t notice earlier.” No tears were shed to punctuate the words with regret. Instead, there was a gentle buzz that spread from palms to torso and wherever else she touched him.

A pleasant one that tickled the honesty out of her. It wasn’t that she hadn’t noticed, but that she had simply been too scared to act. “I’m sorry I didn’t act earlier.” Maybe he wouldn’t have decayed to this state if she had. Ah, but rejection was scary. Being pushed away hurt, no matter how she twisted and turned on it. Mitsuko didn’t want to let go of the man she held in her arms. Not even if he heard her racing pulse that couldn’t lie about the effect he had on her.

Not even if he rejected her. “I’m sorry for letting you carry it all alone.” Maybe it was the adrenaline acting up but she stroked him over his head. It was an action that she had no good memories of from the past and yet, it felt like the natural thing to do. Maybe she just wanted to show him that she wouldn’t run even if he hurt her. Maybe she wanted to challenge him into not running as well. “I’ll hold you so you can rest for as long as you want.” The thought of him disappearing to never return just couldn’t happen. Likewise, she couldn't picture anyone else taking his place.

"I'll wait for you, so let me stick by your side until you're ready."

LONELYRAIN · Apr 17, 2023

Haru didn't know what he was doing, aside from the tears that were now streaming down his cheeks without cease, there was a loss of direction within his body, within his mind. What was he doing? What could he do? Why was he persisting to fail? And why was this woman not turning from him? There were too many "why's" and no answers, no comforting response to the crazed hums within his own splintering mind. Why did he have to suffer like this? Why him, why did this have to be his burden? And why did he even open his mouth to begin with-

Her hands were warm, a hot brand against chilled skin and protruding bone. The touch made him flinch, his breath stirring within a chest that stuttered and struggled as his thin body was now pressed against her own. Haru's thoughts scattered then, splintering and falling away as all the self-loathing, all the fear and pain was tangling together in an incomprehensible spiral and instead were being overwritten, replaced. She's warm. She's soft. Why are you doing this to me? Let me go. Let me- He wanted to find the strength to push her away, crimson eyes wide as his head was guided to her shoulder, his vision blurring as the tears swelled and dripped down his cheeks.

The weight of her hands was cruel, he quickly decided. How they made his heart begin to stutter and leap, bringing newfound life to the organ that had been burdened heavily by his own demons. He was never to feel the brush of spring again, he forbidden himself to it, chained himself to self imposed suffering and yet... and yet it was so warm. Her words were equally as cruel, his eyes squeezing shut as his breaths stuttered in his chest. Ah, his heart was racing, pounding in his own ears and drowning out the pessimistic swirl of whispers and instead settled upon this moment, a moment that filled him purely of this hateful woman that was prying the very thin sheets of armor that he was trying his best to hold onto as long as he could.

Her apologies... they were unnecessary, for she did nothing wrong. Thin arms came to encircle the source of warmth as his body sagged against her own, head burrowing upon her shoulder as sobs finally left him, the tears unrelenting as he cursed himself to drown in her warmth, unable to win against the tide of pain that was ripping itself free from his lips. The pain at first left in a trickle, mere hiccups at first, until he allowed himself to truly feel it, the confusion, the fear, the agony as it all swirled and released in a torrent that gave voice to the flood he'd been trying so hard to contain. The beast in human flesh wept as if his life depended on it, his sobs devolving in the guttural cries as his body trembled under the weight, as if it would snap and break. The thin arms of the man encircled her then, his fingers curling tight within the fabric, terrified now that if he let her go that the whorl of horrid thoughts would come to haunt him again.

He knew not how long he clung to Mitsuko, but it felt like an eternity as her warmth seeped into his cold body, warmth that he greedily consumed, her scent wreathing around him and dragging him deep down to muddled thoughts and swelling emotion. He truly was doomed, for as the whispers finally seemed to have become silent in his mind, it was instead replaced by a surge of adoration. This was unnecessary and yet, she had reached out to him, her grip being enough to make the man weak, not from the lack of food alone, but just because it was her. Because it was his precious little sun, and like as if she was the sun itself, her warmth was renewing him, seeping into dying flesh and heart and forcing him to cling a little bit more.

How he both loved and hated her for doing this to him.

"..I.." The voice that spoken was very soft, too weak as words piled up too much. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he desired to express... but he would have to settle for something simple. "..I'm alright now. Please.. let go." The request was one that was desperate on his part, though it was more out of alarm now that the pain had left and now awareness was remaining. The press of her body against his own, her scent now wreathing strongly around him, and the weight of her hands upon him. It... it was too much!

Thin fingers had already unlatched themselves from her clothing, the man struggling to calm his now racing heart as his lips quivered, a fault of perhaps him having cried far too much. It was something that at least he was grateful for, since his reddened face now messy with tears could be his excuse. Part of him didn't want her to let go, instead wanted her to continue to touch him, greedily cling to him as if he truly did mean something more to her... but he knew that was selfish and misguided. She did not feel the same way, there was no need to allow these unnecessary feelings to get out of control, but perhaps he did want to be spoiled by her... just a little bit more. It felt too nice.

If only he wasn't so fixated on so many other things, he probably would have realized her heart had been racing as fast as his own.

Sei Shonagon · Apr 17, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: j's lullaby (darlin' I'd wait for you)

This man who hit her straight across the jaw, this man who disparaged her for being savage, this man who despised her advances, this man who had a better hand with children than she, this man who wasn’t afraid to offer kindness even if it were on his own expense, this man who had saved her life and continuously threw her in a loop with her emotions- this man who said his favourite colour was brown and kissed her while drunk and stroked her back and called her his little sun. Where would she be, without this man?

Not here, probably. But she had depended on him enough as it was already, now it was her turn to return the favour. So. Just like he had cradled her through injuries and wallowing that had threatened to shipwreck her, Mitsuko held him steady through the waves of sorrow.

They surged forth from deep within and rocked life into slumbering limbs that awoke to new pains. To the ones of the soul rather than atrophying muscles. Primal and merciless in how it ripped apart all and any semblance of the defences that you built up into adulthood. Maybe this was all they were under the surface, sobbing messes that waited for someone to release the valve so they could let it all out. Bubbling up under the skin until it blistered and every little touch and graze of kindness stung painfully.

Hands like roots burrowed into her clothes despite this and caused her pulse to quicken. It was not an entirely unexpected development and yet it rippled in tides of heat up her cheeks regardless. A sobering heat that might as well have been friction from the way they fitted into the crevices of each other’s bodies. A second 'oh' of awkward realisation echoed loudly between ringing ears. Not loud enough to overthrow the sobs but enough to cement the closeness and the intimacy and the- she truly was a fool, wasn’t she?

Mitsuko buried her face anew in the rampant verdure on top of his head and grew increasingly still. She didn’t want him to see the expression that had surfaced after sobs and prolonged exchanges of warmth had peeled it bare. Thawed it had, bordering onto spring, and it was too late to cover it with a new sheet of ice. For she had already seen the budding blossoms that awaited underneath. Even if she did wrap it up she would not forget the shape beneath. Nor the feeling of it as his ear brushed against her chin when he regained the strength to stand.

He spoke up and she clung to him but a second longer. A second was all she needed to school her face into something neutral again, something that wouldn’t burden him even further. “Alright my ass, you’re still skin and bones.” Her chuckle was light and laced with bittersweet amusement as she squeezed his shoulder. Mitsuko peeled away and plastered a smile onto her lips “Well, I guess you’ve always been kinda small even before this. Seems like you’re never gonna grow taller than me”. Her attempts to lighten the mood were the sort of awkward backpedalling that came out by habit. Usually, it was more aggressive than this and louder to drown everything out, but now it was softer. More sombre to fit the current mood or the sudden revelation she had received.

She gazed down at his hands, then wrists and back up again. Her mouth gaped after words accordingly until she gave up. There was simply too much to say, too many questions to ask. He was probably already overwhelmed as it was; Mucus being the next thing to clog up his system now that it had been cleansed of tears. One thing at a time, she closed her eyes and doubled down on her resolve. “Ahem.” She wasn’t completely unfazed by the events, however, as was evident by the sudden stiffness that seized her. Mitsuko looked at her own hand that remained steadfast on his shoulder and she removed it as if it had sort of settled there without her knowledge.

“Are you still gonna bail breakfast, knowing all of that?” A mischievous twinkle rounded it up to something more familiar. Ever so teasing, ever so Mitsuko.

LONELYRAIN · Apr 17, 2023

The second that passed was one second that made Haru feel as if his heart was about to burst. The sorrow and confusion, twisted thoughts and agony had been chased away by this fool of a woman that wasn't releasing him from her hold fast enough. The seams of his heart was ripping, the feeling of quickened beats making his face feel much more heated than from the torrent of tears he'd shed. This really was getting too much, and his lips had begun to part in the beginnings of a question if she was alright, only for it to become unnecessary as she had peeled herself away, her chuckle halting any sound or rhym or reason to leave his lips.

Oh no, why was her voice so... cute?

Though, her voice didn't change since the day they met until this moment now, there was something in the way she spoke to him now that made his heart squeeze like she was the one to reach in and tightly grasp it. Even her words, as annoying as they typically were; they were unbearably cute. Haru's expression, as currently defeated as it was had scrunched up as if he'd consumed something foul, his hands gripping the edges of his own frayed sleeves to cover his tear streaked face as sniffles and tiny coughs left his lips, body unwinding from the torrent of agony and now was being pestered by more troublesome emotions. Something was wrong with him. Something was really wrong... and he hated that he knew what it was.

Irritation then sparked within him at her comment at his height, finally rewarding her with some spirit from the empty husk that was the Seer, the glint of his red eyes glaring at her from behind the shield of his sleeves, "You're such an idiot." The automatic retort he could not control, a force of habit from dealing with Mitsuko's teasing words, "Are you trying to piss me off?" A snort left him then, trying to rub away the remnants of his low moment, in doing so attempting to once more pull desperately needed protection against this unrelenting fluttering in his chest. What did he do when Mai-Jing had caused him such emotional distress?

The silence certainly helped that followed, though the heaviness of Mitsuko's gaze upon him was not helping his composure. The air felt awkward, tense which made Haru think for just a mere second that perhaps he should retreat from her sight... but then his attention was drawn by her lingering pressure on his shoulder, and once more his heart felt like it was going to truly explode within his chest. Haru's hands fallen away from his face then, the hollowed out eyes showing some spark of life as Mitsuko had spoken, the rubies meeting her own brown which sparkled in that annoyingly mischievous twinkle that was so very much Mitsuko.

It was too cute.

The Seer raised his hand, reaching toward her face... only to then abruptly flick her upon her forehead, expression deadpanned and tone unamused, "Don't push it. I can't eat much even if I wanted to." The man then turned from her, her reward being his back and denying her seeing the expression trying to fight its way upon his face. Despite the dismissive tone and actions, at the very least it seemed Haru was slowly going back in the direction of the house, retracing his steps and yet his other hand had come to his face, covering his mouth and nose as he felt his skin burning underneath his fingers. Oh no. She's too much... hah I wish I could just-

How he wished he could just reach out and hug her so tightly and never let her go. How he wished that every time she spoke those annoyingly adorable words of hers that he could seal them with his lips upon hers. How he wished that he could pepper her with kisses and hear her voice ring in his ears as adorable as they were... ah, his little sun was too much for him! She was far too cute, far too endearing now. This adoration for her overwhelming, but it seemed like the time that he had avoided her had made these desires far too strong from the slowly blossoming feelings he had felt when she had awaited him to return.

She was ruining him without her knowing, and he both loved and despised every second of it.

However, as he stepped back within the threshold to the porch, forcing his face to once more settled into icy neutrality, he remembered all too suddenly how he'd left in the first place. He had lashed out at Honomi. The memory had made him freeze as guilt swelled anew within his chest, still smelling the scent of salted fish and hearing the subdued and quieter steps of Honomi within the home which made him desire to hide. How could he face her after he had acted so rashly?

Sei Shonagon · Apr 19, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: j's lullaby (darlin' I'd wait for you)

Haru fell into her bickering pace and she breathed a sound of relief. Yeah. For once she agreed. She was an idiot and yeah, maybe there was a part of her that wanted to receive his ire. Brown eyes lapped it all up hungrily, the way his eyes brandished daggers behind the shield of sleeves and how he topped it off with a cautionary snort: don’t go any further. Mitsuko always did, though, and that was maybe why his hand was now fast approaching her. Cautionary quickly turned into a real threat, one that was about to see her heart explode at the first touch of skin. Her grin faltered in breathless anticipation, and all of it built up to a mountain in her throat. Then it came, an innocent gust that flicked her heart right off the top.

“Ow!” Mitsuko held the sore spot on her forehead and pursed her lip at the Seer that had already passed her in true breezy fashion. At least he was going the right way. A smile flickered across her features, equally furtive in the flash of warmth that it nursed, and then she bounced up to him. Their shoulders brushed up against each other and an urge to seal him into another embrace tickled her fingers. She clenched down on them and settled with a playful bump that was enough to stir flutters.

Enough was a good word, one that defined the hair's breadth of space between them.

Mitsuko had already forgotten her previous engagements by the time they had reached the house. Her clothes had not on the other hand. They were damp and cold to the touch where they sat upon her skin, drenched from the labours of her training but hopefully not smelling the part. A reddish tint flushed her cheekbones as if the memory of panting breaths was still fresh and she hid her mouth behind her hand to stop it from reenacting it. Meanwhile, a thousand thoughts flashed past her eyes. He probably would’ve said something if she had smelled- right?

The brunette eyed the Seer out of the corner of her view. He was frozen on the steps in a poor imitation of the expression that he wore- that was to say, not unaffected at all. The growing distance between mother and son had not escaped Mitsuko during these past days. Noticing was one thing, however, and interfering was another. She could not claim to understand the conflicted emotions that must’ve seized him then, but she did give him a nudge in the form of a hand on his shoulder. The same one she had bumped into and the same one she had held him steady by before.

A look, face to face, and a whisper ‘I’m with you’ later she passed him. “We’re home!” Mitsuko called out and slid the door open. The scent of grilled fish hit her harder than the tree stems she practised her kicks on. “It smells nice~ Did you boil the tea yet?” The brunette waltzed in with the sort of carefree attitude that was reserved for the actual family that lived in the house. In her defense she had sort of become one in the family and as much showed when Honomi appeared rushing towards her.

“Dear, how come you always look like you’ve just rolled down the hills, hm?” Honomi’s trembling hands shot up to pick strands of grass out Mitsuko’s hair. “MNaybe becawse I do roll dawn the hill-” Mitsuko blabbered through the handkerchief that wiped her face down next. Honomi’s tone might have been chiding but she was betrayed by the softness in her motions; Dabbing and swiping carefully so as to not cause further blemishes upon the youth’s skin.

Honomi gazed at her face and then trailed down her neck alongside the handkerchief. Her hands suddenly stopped moving when her eyes caught sight of the other figure in the door.

LONELYRAIN · Apr 20, 2023

Peacock Blue Eyes - Katanagatari OST [bottom half of post]

What could he do to mend the gap he had created? What could he do to fix his mistake? Anxiety swelled and settled like a vice around the man's heart as he almost felt tempted to turn the other way and simply leave his mother in peace. After all, he had been acting completely unruly and vile, responding in harshness toward his mother who was ever so patient and loving. Maybe he didn't even deserve to reenter his childhood home? But, was he going to runaway again? Is that what he was now resolved to do every single time he felt the slightest bit of an obstacle? A tinge of shame was quick to admonish him for his cowardice, the Seer drawing in a shallow breath, but finding that it was all unnecessary as the warmth at his side had grabbed his attention.

The hollowed out eyes turned toward his companion, the warmth of her hand seeping into the bleached and frayed fabric of his thin, clothed shoulder. A stuttering of heartbeats filled h is chest then as he met her gaze, and her whisper. Ah, how foolish it was that her confirmation, her reassurance was enough to simply make all the anxiety disperse. It was as if now the fool at his side was supplying him her own strength, her own confidence, and for once he was grateful that he had her at his side. A weak smile would be his response, though it quickly evaporated as she had left him to stride forward, ever so confident and simply being as energetic as usual while he; her timid shadow would hesitantly shuffle after her, ignoring the little flutters within his chest as he lingered near the entrance of the sliding door, his eyes downcast to peer at anything else but the warm, fuzzy atmosphere that had sparked with his mother interacting with Mitsuko.

In truth, he wished to retreat. The smell of grilled fish, even if it was making his stomach clench with hunger, it was also making him nauseous. Not this. Not this. The whisper, weaker in the back of his mind had complained, making the Seer's hands clench into fists and nails dig rivets into his own skin. He didn't need this right now, normal food was good for him, there was no need for him to linger on the foul thing he had even placed into his mouth... but his body seemed to desire to remind him otherwise, and once again it felt as if the foul taste had surged upon his tongue, the nausea growing as his face had paled, albeit the change was not too noticeable aside from the discomfort in his posture now as he shuffled from foot to foot, now trying to breathe as shallowly as possible, though the strain was nothing compared to when the playful interaction between his mother and Mitsuko had ended and left Haru in the spotlight then, Honomi's eyes had fallen upon the man and he in response had stiffened at the sudden pressure.

Crimson eyes darted up to meet the warm brown, an uncertainty as evident as day in Haru's own gaze as the Seer had stepped back, his lips pressing in a tense line as he struggled to find words. Normally, he was quite good at trying to explain himself, considering he had lived the life as a public figure in the capital, surely he could speak and find the right words to hopefully appease his mother. But, there was nothing that came to his mind, nothing that would smooth over his icy reaction to Honomi's concern earlier. But, as his gaze had met his mother's own, the woman did not greet him with harshness, as typical as it would be as there was surprise that then settled on relief and gentled down into warmth. There was no anger there, causing the Seer to relax at his mother's warm smile.

There was no need for him to act so nervous, this was Honomi after all. She was his mother, she would never turn him away.

"Mother, I-" He struggled to begin, now feeling an apology beginning to rise in his chest, though it was halted as Honomi shook her head at him, silencing him before he would begin. To her, she already knew from his body language and the look in his eyes that he certainly was feeling quite apologetic, maybe even guilty? However, the tension in her boy had evaporated as Honomi had given her warmest smile to her son, "Welcome home, Haru."

That was it. No condemnation, nothing of the sort. She was just relieved he'd not ran off again, honestly... to Honomi, as lovely and precious that her eldest son was, even when he was just a boy, she always felt as if he would vanish. Though she could certainly hold him in arm's length, hug him and feel the warmth from his skin, there was always an underlying sensation that just like the fickle winds, Haru would leave her side and vanish somewhere she could never follow. Of course, if he decided to turn from her, she would not force him to linger, but the sensation that her boy was always so distant even when he was in her grasp was ever present.

In truth, she felt a bit of regret for pushing too much earlier, perhaps that was causing her son to withdraw? Maybe he no longer needed her support? But, the thought had completely crumbled as she saw the vulnerability then in Haru's expression, an intense relief that made the Seer finally return to her side looking between the two youths before her as she spoke in her usual bright tone, "Now then, shall we eat?"

... Meanwhile on the Xinmay Sea ...

Lavender incense cloaked the inner chamber of the lavish chamber, a heavy cloud that layered the chamber made for the comfort suitable for an emperor. A plush bed supporting the weight of two bodies, one of which covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the other as cold as death and yet still drawing breath into her lungs, a soft sigh punctuating the silence from the clay body as pale legs hooked about the heated warmth of the muscular body at her side, thin hands sliding over tattooed skin in fond remembrance of days long past when she was still mortal; still empress. The dark brown eyes shifted upward to look up at the familiar handsome face as his lips descended upon hers once more, her breath catching in her throat at the taste, strong citrus taste that came with his kiss, his tongue, tainted by the iron tang that she knew too well to be blood. Had he feasted again to keep his fragile vitality in check?

The dark brown eyes fluttered closed, his taste flooding her tongue as she allowed herself to enjoy the dragon's taste; how it seeped into every corner of her cold body, supplying warmth and tingles, and his kiss enough to rob her breath away as his roughness bespoke of far too many years of prior practice, experience... how different it was from the clumsy yet passionate kisses of her beloved. Yes, there was something intoxicating about the dragon's kiss, but to her it wasn't as pure, as potent as Haru's... it left her feeling empty.

"Mm.." Mai-Jing's eyes opened as his lips parted from hers, a weak protest nonetheless at the divine energy still humming in her veins, that filled her core as his large hand came to gently caress the cold cheek of the former empress, "...It's not enough." She whispered, turning her head to nuzzle into the calloused hand, one which lied that the man before her cared... not that it bothered her, for what love could she receive from the monster across from her which she mirrored so perfectly? The hunger that had ignited in her chest when she had kissed her runaway Phoenix, and the subsequent sweet and intoxicating taste of his skin in her mouth, a flesh that made her want to keep eating, keep devouring until there was nothing left... Eizan didn't ignite such a hunger, instead it felt as if her hunger for divine flesh, divine energy was instead being taunted, teased by the trickle of divinity in his body.

After all, a fake was no substitute for the real. Besides, there was no true affection that the two held for each other, just merely acting and using each other to relieve stress. She knew he would dispose of her as soon as she was no longer useful.

I shouldn't allow him to know I thought that. Mai-Jing's eyes flickered up to the dark eyes which considered her like that of a predator's gaze, one that she didn't flinch at as his hand slid to press against her lips, "..Soon enough Mai-Jing, though I expect for you to show some restraint this time." Mai-Jing desired to scoff, the woman's lips parting against his fingers, "..Like you, father? I fear he would be dead within seconds." A coy smile curved across her face, "It's not as if he'll just stay still and allow me to take him peacefully, after all, it seems like that puppet you put in place after me has been getting far too close to him." Her lips pressed against the fingers in a light kiss as the cold body had shifted closer, lips pressing against the solid muscled chest, "...I can't allow her to take everything from him first, didn't you say he was mine?"

Her eyes flickered upward to meet his gaze, the cold eyes that glittered with cruelty, no warmth as she dropped her gaze again, "..Ours. I meant... ours." She quickly corrected, the heat underneath her lips having intensified for a mere second causing a tingle of fear to go down her bare back, the heaviness of his other hand settling upon the lithe back of the woman clinging to him as his fingers threaded through the long black hair sweeping down her back, an imitation of a human body, the anger that had sparked within him subsiding just as quickly, "Yes, I did say such a thing. Which is why I'm giving you a gift."

"A gift?" Mai-Jing's head jerked up, her body falling away from his own as her breath stuttered with anticipation in her chest, "..You don't mean-" Transfixed upon the man across from her, the man had stood from the bed, the heavy footfall of his steps stopping before a peculiar dark box in the corner, the sound of clicking and shifting about would soon be rewarded with a vial sparkling before Mai-Jing's eyes, excitement swelling in her chest as she crawled eagerly toward the edge of the bed, "You don't mean that I can finally-" She sucked in a breath, reaching outward to receive the peculiar vial swelling with blackened fluid, tainted was the feeling that settled through her as it nestled within her palm, Eizan bending over to meet her gaze, his hand cupping underneath her chin, "For you, my daughter. Make sure you make him consume it, as much as you can force down his throat. I care not how you manage it, however I do expect for you to bring him back here still alive, do I make myself clear?"

Mai-Jing's eyes lit up, her face glowing with a newfound enthusiasm as she could not suppress the excitement within her chest, smile warped and filled with unsuppressed glee, "Of course, father! Ah, I'll make sure to bring his eyes back to you to repay you for this gift. You have been wanting them, right?" Eizan's expression twitched, the cold emptiness touched slightly to mirror the warped excitement of the cold body before him.

"Yes I have.."

..For a very long time. Chisuzu, you won't escape me no matter where you go.

Sei Shonagon · Apr 20, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: j's lullaby (darlin' I'd wait for you)

Mitsuko knew that Honomi wouldn’t turn Haru away. He was her son, after all, her precious spring blossom. The very same child that had put himself in harm’s way, twice, to protect her. And each time he accrued new scars, both visible and not on that pale body of his. He was a good son, that was why…it felt all the more bittersweet to watch him do all the things Mitsuko had not. The brunette held the scene in forlorn regard, quiet enough to hear the whisper of a distant memory and feel the touch of fingers upon her eyelids. Warm and transient and gone in the next blink and breath. “Yes yes. Let’s eat, I’m starving over here-” Mitsuko returned the favour to the woman by rubbing her shoulders and chuckled at her own joke.

Instead of wiping anything off, however, she added to the fuzziness and supported the thin frame that quivered under the weight of her emotions. Honomi didn’t let it show, but the cracks were there underneath the placid smile that painted a picture of a calm lake. They were deep and insidious and covered up by Mitsuko who went ahead and started preparing the tea. And when faced with that, she snapped out of it and went back to her stubborn self that entreated the youth to let her do the work.

The three were soon seated in the drawing room, sipping on their cups and eating as if nothing had ever happened. When it did become noticeable that things were perhaps not as joyous as they appeared, Mitsuko swooped in and bridged the silence with humour. Honomi stirred in her seat after a while and pushed away from creaky knee joints to stand on her feet. ”I forgot to tell you this earlier, but I have something for you Mitsuko” The brunette perked up from the steaming cup that she cradled with her palms. “For me?” Mitsuko repeated and settled eyes on Honomi's back that retreated into a side room.

A few shuffles of boxes and sounds of fabric rustling later, she returned. Honomi emerged once more, this time with a white bundle in her hands. She shakily reached the young brunette the bundle who, in turn, set down the cup and slowly received it. Curious thumbs smoothed over the white cloth and pressed into it as if she wasn’t sure it wouldn’t disappear into thin air. Mitsuko’s eyes darted from the bundle to the woman and then back again. ”Open it” Honomi urged in response, her face now sparkling with tender delight.

The youth swallowed and peeled the white cloth off the contents that she discovered were equally as soft, but certainly prettier than the rag. Her eyes went wide, then glossy. A red kimono hung suspended between fingertips that had latched on; adorned with sunflowers and reminiscent of something else that she found across the room. Oh, it was the same red as his eyes. Her breath hitched and she quickly averted her gaze before cheeks were scalded any further. ”I-I can’t take this.” Tangled emotions put out tripwires for the words that stumbled out of her. ”I-I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve this in the first place and it’ll surely get dirty if I wear it. You saw how I looked when I came in, didn’t you? Besides the work you’ve put in is far too much to let it go to waste- and the quality of the fabric, the amount it must’ve cost you to get this-” The excuses gushed in waterfalls until it ebbed out and jaws clammed up the floodgates.

“-It’s too pretty.” Brown eyes embraced every centimetre of the fabric and adored it with wistful furrowed brows. Her lips pursed. What she really wanted to say was that it was too pretty for someone like her.

LONELYRAIN · Apr 20, 2023

It was as if nothing had transgressed, as if Haru had never been reduced to a shell of himself and Honomi had never suffered the tragedy of Danuja... at least almost. Even as Haru settled across from Mitsuko and settled near his mother, there was a subdued unease in the man's posture, the shadows under his eyes making his gaunt face appear much more older than his mere eighteen years. Though his lips would quirk up at the bright specks of sunlight that was Mitsuko, like his mother, there was something more somber behind the smiles that were attempting to not ruin the mood, to play along to the happy tune that had settled.

Of course it was far more easier with Mitsuko there. Like her namesake, and his affectionate nickname for her, she was bringing life and humor with her. In fact, part of him was annoyed how much his gaze would turn to her, far more than before as if she were truly the sun and he a pitiful plant attempting to suck in as much as her warmth as possible-

No, he was being silly. He stubbornly decided such as truth as crimson eyes turned down to the tea that he had absent-mindedly taken up within his grasp, sipping tentatively at the liquid within as if fearing that it suddenly would turn sour upon his tastebuds; though in doing so he felt pressure of eyes upon him and immediately knew it was his mother. A tinge of color had managed to creep to his ears in response, composing his expression as he allowed a quiet sigh to leave him, casting a wavering glance in Mitsuko's direction, longing stirring within his chest.

It was difficult knowing that the fool was out of his reach. But, he must crush the feeling before it could take root. He must.

Oh, how he wished it was that simple. How he wished the desire would die quick.

The next moments that unfolded were ones of anticipation, seeing Honomi's familiar tender expression which caused Haru to raise an eyebrow as he temporarily lowered the tea cup from his lips. Seeing the peculiarly shaped bundle of white cloth that had been given to Mitsuko, even Haru was intrigued. And then she opened it, and the kimono had been revealed, and oh... be still his heart at the expression that crossed Mitsuko's face next upon beholding the red kimono lovingly crafted for her.

The glossiness of her eyes, as if she was overwhelmed with emotion. However, as their eyes had met for a fraction of a second, it was only then that he realized that Honomi had chosen the color to mirror his eyes. Ah... why was his mother so sneaky? The Seer's gaze turned immediately toward his mother who was seeming quite pleased and yet seemingly cast in an air of innocence which made him exhale slowly through his nose. She certainly did it on purpose... but it was very much lovely, the kimono.

Yet, then came the swell of excuses.... which made him wonder, why? Why did she reject it? His eyebrows creased ever so slightly as he tried to unravel the curiosity that was Mitsuko at this moment., and then he saw the wistful look to her eyes and that caused him to close his own. How foolish.

"It'll suit you well." The words left his lips without much restraint, the quivering of his heart unable to take being a silent observer much longer, interjecting before his mother could insist, his gaze fixating upon the tea in his hands, "You look beautiful in anything that you wear, something like that is more than suitable for you." Oh no, the words weren't stopping, the affection wasn't dying- "You're lovely Mitsuko, keep it."

The Seer's expression was barely holding together, calm was his facial expression but he felt himself screaming on the inside. Why would he say something like that?! He could feel Honomi's gaze upon him which made him want to squirm but instead the man sipped calmly at the tea in his grasp, though Honomi's voice seemed quite surprised at the sudden flow of compliments from her son, knowing him to be one that would typically be shy, "Oh my, I never thought you would be so bold, Haru." He could hear the smile in her voice, making him die a little bit more on the inside.

The Seer cleared his throat then, a small smile crossing his face as he met his mother's gaze though there was undeniably a dark tinge of pink touching the tips of his ears, "Well, I did learn from a certain shameless flirt, it only seems fair that I return the favor- not that what I said wasn't true though." Well, if he was going to dig his grave, might as well throw a hidden jab in there while he was at it... ah, sweaty palms, and his face felt hot, and was his heart beating too fast now? He hated this, he really did. But, since Mitsuko nor he had corrected Honomi when they had arrived, playing the part was easier now... he just couldn't look at Mitsuko, not yet otherwise his calm composure will shatter. "..I-I meant it." His voice was now failing him, his composure now shaking as color was slowly creeping into his cheeks, betraying him immediately as he now seemed far too interested in drinking from the cup of tea before him.

Sei Shonagon · Apr 21, 2023

Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: j's lullaby (darlin' I'd wait for you)

Mitsuko gawked, jaws ever so slightly agape to let a trickle of breathless wonder out. Her ears boiled hot, imitated the teapot that whistled a flustered tune, and her heart leapt up into throat while threatening to spill. Why did he suddenly-? How long had he harboured these thoughts? Did he really think- that she was beautiful? She gulped, throat suddenly dry despite all the cups of tea that she had downed just minutes ago. Mitsuko felt like downing another five as he summarised his ambush:

"You're lovely Mitsuko, keep it."

I hate you. It was a strange thought to have over a compliment and one that she choked back down as she strained her lips. He wouldn’t even let her deflect it as a joke. She screwed her mouth into a thin grin that puckered with bittersweet amusement. Mitsuko mimicked Haru’s red mottled cheeks that squeezed her heart, by squeezing the fabric in her palms and breathed out sharply. “This isn’t very fair, you guys…both mother and son ganging up on me like this.” Quiet exasperation drooped on her features that had yet to completely cave in on the simper. The brunette lightly jabbed at Honomi with her gaze “I thought you were on my side, Honomi.”

Honomi was as quick as ever to melt down her defences with her saintly composure ”But I am, my dear. You’re the one who’s not on your own side.”. Mitsuko had no choice but to lay down flat for the woman. Any remaining resistance deflated from punctured lungs and she slumped her shoulders. “Okay.” She pressed the kimono up to her chest “-But I won’t put it on now. I’m dirty and you arranged for Sorai to come over today. I don’t really see much use in wearing a fancy kimono when I’m fishing”.

And to that, Honomi relented instead. ”You have a point. I shall wait patiently then for when you’re not off to roll down hills or splash in the river then.” A feathery chuckle paved the way for crow’s feet around eyes “It’s not like I’m in a hurry. We got plenty of time to see you wear the kimono, right Haru?”. She sing-sang the last syllable and helped Mitsuko wrap the kimono back up in its protective shell of cloth.

“Speaking of Sorai- he should be arriving soon. Will you be accompanying them, Haru? Your brother will surely be overjoyed to hear that he will get to fish with his brother again. Let's just hope he won't burn it this time.”.

Fantasy EMOTIONS LIKE TWISTING VINES | private |

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lord of the flies

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