xayah.
i return stronger than i left
LEAH YOUNG
erudite to dauntless | 16 | initiate
There are moments where the mind, maybe even the spirit if you believe in that, disassociates from the body. During these moments, the mind is carried away, floating on a stream of thoughts that have nothing to do with what's happening in the present. Meanwhile the body is just frozen, unable to move in response to the stimuli around it. This was the only way to describe how Leah's current state. Slowly opening her eyes, the Erudite princess found herself in the backseat of her family's luxury car. The windows were slightly rolled down, letting a small rain make its way through the vehicle and lightly mist the fabric of the dress she was wearing. Despite the sudden reappearance in Erudite and lack of family or personnel in the car, Leah was strangely content with her surroundings. Nothing felt suspicious enough to raise her suspicions. Instead her attention was focused, as if compelled by some outside force, on two figures that she could discern anywhere. She'd associated with them too many times to count. At every party, dinner, gathering, and meeting, Leah danced with the smaller of the two figures and played verbal politics with the taller of the two. The Jacobis had always played the role of the picturesque family with a hardworking father who earned all his achievements, a loving and caring mother, and a definite heir to take over their Erudite business. As a result, seeing the head of the Jacobi household scorn his own son was strange. The small wisps of their argument that found its way over to Leah's ears almost didn't seem like they could have come from that family. Calling his son an "abomination" and even speaking ill of the dead; if the words were striking to hear from her perspective, she couldn't imagine how Ferris was feeling. She also didn't imagine him lashing out against his father who was... dead. The revelation, combined with Ferris' outburst, somehow drained all the energy from Leah. She felt her eyes fluttering slower and slower as Averill Jacobi turned whiter and whiter. Then, it was all silent.
What seemed like the end was just the beginning. She felt her consciousness being dragged through a stream of thoughts, specifically fears. When Leah's eyes reopened, some new incident always seemed to rear its ugly head. First, it was seeing a literal dead man, unlike Ferris, rise again and almost disown his son. Then, it was Blair, but... whatever this was wasn't Blair. There was almost a cruel, sadistic element to the questioning, and although Leah didn't know Blair that well, she could still tell those weren't traits the blonde Dauntless born possessed. Unable to move from her position in the corner of the room, which was out of sight of Ferris, Leah tried her best to zone out. Information may be power, especially if it's information on people you have a grudge against, but gaining it in this way was just revolting. It felt like a violation of the faint bond the two of them had left.
As much as she tried, Leah knew valuable information when she heard it. She couldn't stop herself from listening to his greatest regret, and somehow, it made her angry. No, disappointed? All his actions up until now were just his way of repenting? He sure was doing an awful job of it. For every kind or benevolent act he did, Leah could name two or three things that negated his goodness. As Ferris broke out of his bindings, Leah slipped further into the shadows and against the wall but felt herself falling through it.
Ah, this was where she had first heard the voice. She had materialized into the hallway of a simple homing unit that was neat but somewhat uncomfortable. There was something about being too cleanly that naturally made people tense. Unlike the previous two incidents, the passenger in this fearscape found herself alone. Ferris was nowhere to be found. Instead, she heard the sound and smell of cooking as well as the voice of a little girl. Turning her head, Leah found Ferris awkwardly patting the child and being greeted by Charlie. In the first place, it was wrong to intrude into someone else's home, although Leah had no idea how she got here, but it was even worse to intrude into the house of married couple. The memory of kissing Ferris weighed too heavily on her, and combined with the sight of Charlie and the little girl walking out, Leah's stomach dropped. Something wasn't right, and she almost had half a mind to check the door they had exited for any sight of them.
Before she could do that, she found herself having the strangest out of body experience. Leah was alive and well, but in the bathtub, that Leah was not. The sight of blood never made her queasy, after all being exposed to medicine and anatomy was part of her Erudite studies, but there's a difference between blood in a vial and watching your body bleed out. Ferris couldn't even see her, alive and well, as he sank into the crimson puddles on the floor. Shutting her eyes tight, Leah couldn't bare to watch or listen. This was worse than Blair's interrogation. This might have been Ferris' nightmare, but it was just as bad for her.
When she felt her eyes throb and her vision shift colors, Leah reopened her eyes. Now, it was Alex smirking with deadly intent, and Ferris in another vulnerable state. She almost couldn't recognize her brother as he taunted and verbally abused Ferris. It was an exchange of wits and snide remarks, and Ferris was losing. Unwilling to watch her brother or Ferris fight, Leah tried to move, shout, do whatever to get them to stop, but nothing came out and nothing moved. As Alex prepared for the surgery with reckless abandonment, Leah grew more frantic. Something had to get them out of the situation.
That something was apparently an explosion. Leah woke up with a start, almost reflexively patting herself to check for burns. Her heart was racing, although she didn't know whether that was a lingering effect of the fearscape or the effect of waking up from the serum. Looking across from her, Ferris seemed haggard and almost broken. His eyes were aimed solely at the ground as if it was taking time for mind to catch up with everything that happened. Leah, now feeling more grounded in comparison to him, strided to his side and squatted, trying to get a better look at him. Seeing him vulnerable was as rare as it was jarring, and although he had taken her through his fearscape as the first step in mending things, Leah didn't feel like consoling him. There was too much distance between them, and some of the things in his fearscape made her more hesitant to reconcile with him. Nonetheless, Leah also didn't the opportunity to taunt him at his lowest. She simply sat there besides him in silence, not daring to say the first word. What are you supposed to say in this instance?