mikyuu
nothing special
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.
KOEN SANDBURG
「· life is crueler than death ·」
Koen adjusted his sunglasses as he continued to hike through the think forestry. He knew if any park ranger saw that he was completely off trail he’d either be fined or severely scolded. If he got fined he’d probably not end up paying for it anyway since he’s fairly tight on money. He might end up having to work community service to pay if off. He honestly wouldn’t mind though, he didn’t have any plans to do anything other than wander through the Montana forestry. On top of that he’d sleep in the forestry at night anyways in his wold form. Sure it could be cold, but there were much worse sensations than feeling cold. Plus cold wasn’t something he wasn’t used to anyways from the last few years of his life. The last few tests had been something related with trails on how his eyes would recover damage in freezing temperatures. How he even lived through any of the experiments, he had no idea, but his maker still kept him alive through all of the process. Koen cursed at himself for being albino as it seemed to be the fixation of what his previous maker was so fond about. He remember that the other people being held at his lad all had some sort of genetic abnormality. But apparently Koen’s eyes just had to be more red that what most albinism people have, why of all things did it have to be him though? He was good kid at school, he did volunteer work, and he never once touched the oh so tempting drugs that ran about in his school. So why was he bestowed this horrible fate? What did he even do wrong in the slightest to deserve the loss of five years to his life? Five years of nothing but suffering. It’s rather surprising how long the process of tests would take. At one point his maker had conducted a year long experiment that revolved around inflicting major wounds, mostly on his eyes, then forcing him to eat a diet with diced bits of wolfsbane. Koen remembered how there was so many retrials because it got to the point where he would have died from blood loss or the allergic reaction to wolfsbane that his maker had to restart the process multiple times. Which eventually he ended giving up on the experiment saying that Koen was “a special specimen that wasn’t worth loosing”. There was even a experiment in which he tried to make him taller through some sort of process in his spine. Koen really didn’t remember much about that specific experiment as he’d pass out due to shock most of the times from the tremendous pain it caused.
Koen can’t remember how many times he’d had this same conversation over and over. His pleas went nowhere, no higher being there to answer his calls. Believe him, he’s tried even with multiple religions, to spare him from this continuous suffering. His maker had even mocked him at some point for crying out loud to a higher being for mercy, saying he’s still holding onto fool’s hope. There was no such thing as miracles, his life is evidence so. The only thing he was greatful for is the fact his eyes were able to still completely heal and didn’t finally give in and make him blind. But that wasn’t given by some miracle, that was his sheer willpower that he refused to become completely crippled by the demon with human skin. Faith didn’t get someone anywhere, only their sheer drive and grit would. There was no one looking over people in the heavens, those were all malice lies that are given to be brainwashed. Koen attempted to shut up the little voice in the back of his head that fueled all the hate he had for the world. He wasn’t going to achieve the peace he wanted before he ended it all. Yet part of him also told him things could only get better from here on out. With his maker gone there was no one out to get him anymore, or was there? He shook his head and sighed at his own pitiful self, his white locks ruffling as he did so. From the week he’s spend, he got a general idea on where the packs territories were and where they weren’t. Koen didn’t want to come across a patrol and have to struggle with explaining himself. Currently, he was in a grey area of land in which didn’t really belong to any particular pack.
Yet his planning seemed to fail him, the scent of another wolf sent alarms bells ringing full force in his mind. No, there were multiple wolves. Koen began to panic and his body began to tense up. His hands began to shake like that of a heroin addict, his hands had already been shaking from his usual spasms, but now they were shaking even more viciously from the panic he felt. All his senses were completely on edge, his ears completely focused on any movement that may possibly appear. His body, specifically today, was already experiencing muscle weakness that happens when his spasms were particularly bad. He just needed his body to hold up long enough for him to potentially shift and run away from the said wolves.
Koen can’t remember how many times he’d had this same conversation over and over. His pleas went nowhere, no higher being there to answer his calls. Believe him, he’s tried even with multiple religions, to spare him from this continuous suffering. His maker had even mocked him at some point for crying out loud to a higher being for mercy, saying he’s still holding onto fool’s hope. There was no such thing as miracles, his life is evidence so. The only thing he was greatful for is the fact his eyes were able to still completely heal and didn’t finally give in and make him blind. But that wasn’t given by some miracle, that was his sheer willpower that he refused to become completely crippled by the demon with human skin. Faith didn’t get someone anywhere, only their sheer drive and grit would. There was no one looking over people in the heavens, those were all malice lies that are given to be brainwashed. Koen attempted to shut up the little voice in the back of his head that fueled all the hate he had for the world. He wasn’t going to achieve the peace he wanted before he ended it all. Yet part of him also told him things could only get better from here on out. With his maker gone there was no one out to get him anymore, or was there? He shook his head and sighed at his own pitiful self, his white locks ruffling as he did so. From the week he’s spend, he got a general idea on where the packs territories were and where they weren’t. Koen didn’t want to come across a patrol and have to struggle with explaining himself. Currently, he was in a grey area of land in which didn’t really belong to any particular pack.
Yet his planning seemed to fail him, the scent of another wolf sent alarms bells ringing full force in his mind. No, there were multiple wolves. Koen began to panic and his body began to tense up. His hands began to shake like that of a heroin addict, his hands had already been shaking from his usual spasms, but now they were shaking even more viciously from the panic he felt. All his senses were completely on edge, his ears completely focused on any movement that may possibly appear. His body, specifically today, was already experiencing muscle weakness that happens when his spasms were particularly bad. He just needed his body to hold up long enough for him to potentially shift and run away from the said wolves.
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