Northless
Alive? Alive.
Discarded entry from Lydia's journal, after being told to ''write the first thing that comes to mind'':
The sun hasn't come out yet. Won't for another pair of hours.Lich' dream again. It was staring at me. There was nothing and it was staring at me. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was dying. Again. I can't sleep.
I wonder what I should cook later. I have to make Tam something, even if she has already planned on making all of the pastries. She'll be so busy, on her birthday... she loves being busy. I love seeing her enjoy herself like that. Even if she ends up so tired...
I met the Hidden Faces' vendor yesterday. He seemed to have fun setting up his act. I remember how fun it was sometimes in the shop. I miss it. I know she does as well. Coming back for some days is good. She's so tall now. She'll be taller than me. She loved the mask. I wonder if Pasha will like his. We need to go the planes as soon as possible, find a name, because Vercingetorix is too extravagant a name, even for a dragon, send Leo news about it, then come back...
I don't know why I wanted to stay. We were underwater, darkness all around... Who in their right mind would want to stay? He looked so worried... I can't believe I caused that. Why does he bother? Why should he?
The festival is soon as well. She's been preparing her costume for weeks now. It's some sort... of bird crossbreed with an antelope. She's spent all of her money on feathers for the wings, and fake precious gems. She won't let me help. I could never bring myself to do things like that, still. I'm not creative enough.
She would have loved Taylan. Put up such a show. Stupid, idiot man. I should have helped... I shouldn't have listened to him and helped.
I've learned blood and astral magic, to help, and I didn't. A year ago, I would have rather died than study magic. New fire spells, and earth spells, and to be an archmage to protect the city in case another archmage goes rogue and wants to kill us all. Or the forest. Or a water monster. Or Brummelmarc. Everything seems to want to kill us lately. I wonder if it's a signal of some kind. I need to learn nature and bone, and refining which ones I have which I honest to the gods of course did not realised had been becoming more terrifying each time. More deadly each time. What am I even doing anymore? I've been such a great student, I forgot to make dinner for her. What a damn great sister I am. Dad would be proud out of his mind.
We'll go to war. We'll go to war. We'll go to war and no one seems to care. Should I care? How to tell mom she has to avoid cities we'll conquer? Conquer. Gods, how are we different from them...? Do we even try to? I know Leo did. I know he doesn't want this. I hope he doesn't.
The wedding, I haven't wrote about it yet. I don't like writting this way. It was so fun. We danced and there were so many people and... Pond wasn't there, because of course Pond wasn't there, and now she's trapped in the fucking Manse because I'm a fucking idiot who couldn't get her out sooner.
At least... I hope she's still there.
Oh gods, I keep messing everything up, don't I?
Sometimes I want this all to stop.
The sun hasn't come out yet. Won't for another pair of hours.
I wonder what I should cook later. I have to make Tam something, even if she has already planned on making all of the pastries. She'll be so busy, on her birthday... she loves being busy. I love seeing her enjoy herself like that. Even if she ends up so tired...
I met the Hidden Faces' vendor yesterday. He seemed to have fun setting up his act. I remember how fun it was sometimes in the shop. I miss it. I know she does as well. Coming back for some days is good. She's so tall now. She'll be taller than me. She loved the mask. I wonder if Pasha will like his. We need to go the planes as soon as possible, find a name, because Vercingetorix is too extravagant a name, even for a dragon, send Leo news about it, then come back...
I don't know why I wanted to stay. We were underwater, darkness all around... Who in their right mind would want to stay? He looked so worried... I can't believe I caused that. Why does he bother? Why should he?
The festival is soon as well. She's been preparing her costume for weeks now. It's some sort... of bird crossbreed with an antelope. She's spent all of her money on feathers for the wings, and fake precious gems. She won't let me help. I could never bring myself to do things like that, still. I'm not creative enough.
She would have loved Taylan. Put up such a show. Stupid, idiot man. I should have helped... I shouldn't have listened to him and helped.
I've learned blood and astral magic, to help, and I didn't. A year ago, I would have rather died than study magic. New fire spells, and earth spells, and to be an archmage to protect the city in case another archmage goes rogue and wants to kill us all. Or the forest. Or a water monster. Or Brummelmarc. Everything seems to want to kill us lately. I wonder if it's a signal of some kind. I need to learn nature and bone, and refining which ones I have which I honest to the gods of course did not realised had been becoming more terrifying each time. More deadly each time. What am I even doing anymore? I've been such a great student, I forgot to make dinner for her. What a damn great sister I am. Dad would be proud out of his mind.
We'll go to war. We'll go to war. We'll go to war and no one seems to care. Should I care? How to tell mom she has to avoid cities we'll conquer? Conquer. Gods, how are we different from them...? Do we even try to? I know Leo did. I know he doesn't want this. I hope he doesn't.
The wedding, I haven't wrote about it yet. I don't like writting this way. It was so fun. We danced and there were so many people and... Pond wasn't there, because of course Pond wasn't there, and now she's trapped in the fucking Manse because I'm a fucking idiot who couldn't get her out sooner.
At least... I hope she's still there.
Oh gods, I keep messing everything up, don't I?
Sometimes I want this all to stop.