Chimney Swift
i am confusion
Max
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- home (filler tab)
mood
forgiven
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outfitclick
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location
Graham's apartment
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interactions
Josh
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- home (filler tab)
For a long while, Joshua didn’t say anything, instead letting the internal echoes of Max’s tearful confession hang in the air like cobwebs.
“Josh, I’m in love with you.”
Though the youngest boy’s hands were now wordlessly cradling his own elbows, fingers twitching and trembling with exhaustion, he could feel them replaying that one sentence over and over again. There was nothing that Max could do now that those words had been said. He’d never be able to know if he would have been better off keeping his feelings hidden to the grave.
His last breath in had dissipated in his lungs, and he was still choking on his own tears, drowning on dry ground. The phrase “dying of embarrassment” had never seemed so literal to him as it did now– could feelings really kill a person? He’d often wondered this, feeling that his own sick emotions would one day overwhelm his body and take him out. It felt as though his whole life was suspended upon whatever Josh decided to do now, now that he’d been told all of Max’s most shameful and depraved secrets. But Josh only stood there, no words on his hands or on his lips, looking as though he’d just been slapped in the face.
Of course, it seemed fair in his mind to presume that Josh was mortified to learn that someone as lowly as fragile sniveling Max Berkowitz would think such repulsive perverted thoughts about him.
What could be more insulting than to learn that someone so unclean and unworthy could have the audacity to fall in love with him?
There was nothing to love about Max: he wasn’t handsome, or brave, or witty, or good at anything. Even in some imaginary world where Josh’s faith didn’t pigeonhole Max as an abomination, even if Josh himself were gay, Max knew that Josh could never love him.
And yet, despite all of this, despite everything that Max had said and done, Josh still stood in the room, breathing the same air, content to be sharing the same space.
Josh never did respond to Max’s confession. He didn’t need to. Instead, he took a few slow steps towards him, until they were close enough that Max could almost feel the heat radiating off his soft pale skin, and dropped to his knees, head lowered solemnly. Max froze, blinking rapidly, not sure what to do. Was this a prayer? Should he avert his eyes, or…?
But then Josh did the last thing that Max could ever have expected him to do: he pulled him into a gentle embrace, without a shred of fear that he would be infected by Max’s moral affliction.
As if Josh had the power to forgive Max’s sins with a simple touch, a crushing weight was lifted off of Max’s chest, and he let out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. Weakly drying his eyes, so as not to sully Josh’s pristine clothing with his pitiful tears, Max buried his head in the crook of Josh’s shoulder and threw his arms around his friend, wishing he could die right then and there just so he’d never have to let go.
♡coded by uxie♡