Character Critique Thread

heeeeyyyyyyy
so I did a thing, finally
Uh
Yeah
I do not apologize for the length
I hope to get Sundew (Valentin's) done tomorrow, but for now, here's Worm 8'D

-edited stuff-
Moved to a thread.
Rivero-Morales, V.
 
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Natealie Natealie
The phone was just an example since I couldn't think of another complex thing. It was the first thing that came to my mind. It's not that it is too complex for her, but it wouldn't work due to it requiring electricity anyway.

Understanding is supposed to be the limitation of the more complex constructs. It doesn't always apply unless what she's creating is supposed to be a complex thing. Like in the phone example she'd need to know exactly how every single part works in order for her to be able to make a working version of it.

You caught me right before I went to bed so I hope I cleared that up.

I know the phone was just the example you thought of at the time but I'm going to stick with it for now.

So if it did have electricity put into it, this phone made of blood would work? That's about the crux of my problem with this idea. How does blood compute, or mimic the electrical functions of circuitry? If we're talking complex mechanical objects, like an old wind up clock with moving gears and no circuitry, then that's something I could understand an elemental super making since it's just a bunch of shapes stuffed together. Shapes that don't require their composition (blood in this case) to do something it wouldn't be able to do (like complex electronic processing). A phone requires so much more than moving shapes though; most of which isn't even mechanical like a clock gear.

I still don't feel like understanding is a real limitation. The description of this says she can even do shortcuts to bypass this. At what point does something become 'too complex' for her to make? She has an intelligence rating of 3 to represent her prodigious academic skills so she's far smarter than two thirds of the normal population by default. Her comprehension skills must be pretty high up there, so not understanding how components in a phone work or interact is only a temporary hurdle in my opinion. Limitations, especially for an S rank, should feel more concrete and, well, limiting for the character it's tied to?
 
Alyxsandre Alyxsandre
I think the Superpower page might look a tad cleaner if you put the Break Down bits into a Spoiler, since they're not actual sub-powers. Other than that, I don't really know how to help as I'm relatively bad at balancing powers, so I'll leave that to others.
 
Natealie Natealie


I know the phone was just the example you thought of at the time but I'm going to stick with it for now.

So if it did have electricity put into it, this phone made of blood would work? That's about the crux of my problem with this idea. How does blood compute, or mimic the electrical functions of circuitry? If we're talking complex mechanical objects, like an old wind up clock with moving gears and no circuitry, then that's something I could understand an elemental super making since it's just a bunch of shapes stuffed together. Shapes that don't require their composition (blood in this case) to do something it wouldn't be able to do (like complex electronic processing). A phone requires so much more than moving shapes though; most of which isn't even mechanical like a clock gear.

I still don't feel like understanding is a real limitation. The description of this says she can even do shortcuts to bypass this. At what point does something become 'too complex' for her to make? She has an intelligence rating of 3 to represent her prodigious academic skills so she's far smarter than two thirds of the normal population by default. Her comprehension skills must be pretty high up there, so not understanding how components in a phone work or interact is only a temporary hurdle in my opinion. Limitations, especially for an S rank, should feel more concrete and, well, limiting for the character it's tied to?
Ok to the first point I have an answer. If a phone requires specific materials in order for it to work in specific places that blood cannot mimic the properties of then it would not work. I actually do not know if it were possible or not myself, as Anise is much smarter than I am when it comes to electronics. But let's say mineral X is required to make something work. Anise would be able to make literally everything in the device, even making a replica of the mineral, but because it wouldn't be the actual mineral it would not function unless blood can replicate the properties of that mineral. If blood cannot, then she will be able to create the replica provided she knows how to make it, but it will be unable to function unless she can find to missing pieces out of the correct materials and incorporate them into the device.

In that example I see a battery being an issue for example. If she were to make the phone the battery wouldn't have the ability to hold a charge since it's blood. Therefore she would need to put an actual battery into the phone for it to work.

The clockwork thing you mentioned is much more akin to how Anise would like to do things like that. She can manipulate the shape and hardness of her blood and move it like she would an arm. But she cannot change its' physical properties for the most part.

I hope that clears it up. The phone was a really bad example so I apologize.

On to the second point, it really ties into the things you brought up with the first! Too complex isn't just her understanding of the object she's trying to create, but it's also limited by whether or not blood can replicate it. So even if she does understand it, there's still a chance that she may need additional materials to create a given item. I'll make a note of that on the sheet as well, thank you for having me think about that. I think I'll change that limitation to Understanding and Possibility to reflect how she still may need other materials depending on what she's making. It actually fits her quite well now that I think about it, so thank you for bringing it to my attention.
 
Lady Midnight Lady Midnight Instead of writing something in the tabs you're not using currently, leave them empty like so [Tab][/Tab] and they will remain in the code, but not show up in the post
That way you can come back to them anytime you want and edit information in once you have it >w<

I like Hitomi and the power seems pretty straightforward, I just think that maybe the Overheat limitation should get a little more description to it, it's a bit vague right now. As in, mention that raising her temperature a lot could get her dazed like the case of a bad fever and maybe potentially make her pass-out, something like that. It's nice to write the exact implications of limitations like that.
 
Ok to the first point I have an answer. If a phone requires specific materials in order for it to work in specific places that blood cannot mimic the properties of then it would not work. I actually do not know if it were possible or not myself, as Anise is much smarter than I am when it comes to electronics. But let's say mineral X is required to make something work. Anise would be able to make literally everything in the device, even making a replica of the mineral, but because it wouldn't be the actual mineral it would not function unless blood can replicate the properties of that mineral. If blood cannot, then she will be able to create the replica provided she knows how to make it, but it will be unable to function unless she can find to missing pieces out of the correct materials and incorporate them into the device.

In that example I see a battery being an issue for example. If she were to make the phone the battery wouldn't have the ability to hold a charge since it's blood. Therefore she would need to put an actual battery into the phone for it to work.

The clockwork thing you mentioned is much more akin to how Anise would like to do things like that. She can manipulate the shape and hardness of her blood and move it like she would an arm. But she cannot change its' physical properties for the most part.

I hope that clears it up. The phone was a really bad example so I apologize.

On to the second point, it really ties into the things you brought up with the first! Too complex isn't just her understanding of the object she's trying to create, but it's also limited by whether or not blood can replicate it. So even if she does understand it, there's still a chance that she may need additional materials to create a given item. I'll make a note of that on the sheet as well, thank you for having me think about that. I think I'll change that limitation to Understanding and Possibility to reflect how she still may need other materials depending on what she's making. It actually fits her quite well now that I think about it, so thank you for bringing it to my attention.


Okay yeah, that does clear it up for me. Thanks! It was my misunderstanding that her blood would be doing everything like the computing that had me scratching my head.

Understanding and Possibility sounds pretty good to me, too!

Only suggestion I have now is maybe use the clockwork example instead of the phone example in her sheet? Might be easier for people to visualize and conceptualize using an example that Anise can definitely make out of her blood and nothing else. If she gets all the tech to make a working phone later on though, that might be fun for her to explore IC?
 
Okay yeah, that does clear it up for me. Thanks! It was my misunderstanding that her blood would be doing everything like the computing that had me scratching my head.

Understanding and Possibility sounds pretty good to me, too!

Only suggestion I have now is maybe use the clockwork example instead of the phone example in her sheet? Might be easier for people to visualize and conceptualize using an example that Anise can definitely make out of her blood and nothing else. If she gets all the tech to make a working phone later on though, that might be fun for her to explore IC?
I agree. It'll definitely be fun to explore. Especially since Anise would totally just do it just so that she can understand how.Whether she ever does it again or not is irrelevant to her! I think I'll keep the example for now though since I don't have the words to express the vision I have any other way. But once I figure out how to say it I'll edit the example. You meant clockwork things as an example of what she could make without outside materials correct?
 
I agree. It'll definitely be fun to explore. Especially since Anise would totally just do it just so that she can understand how.Whether she ever does it again or not is irrelevant to her! I think I'll keep the example for now though since I don't have the words to express the vision I have any other way. But once I figure out how to say it I'll edit the example. You meant clockwork things as an example of what she could make without outside materials correct?

Yep, just as a singular example of a complex item she could make with only her blood. It wouldn't be the only thing she could make, but it'd be something that might help as a simpler explanation to get the foundation of the idea out there.
 
Yep, just as a singular example of a complex item she could make with only her blood. It wouldn't be the only thing she could make, but it'd be something that might help as a simpler explanation to get the foundation of the idea out there.
Ok. What do you think a good example of a clockwork item would be? Just like a clock? Or is there something more? My apologies but I'm having a hard time thinking of it.
 
Ok. What do you think a good example of a clockwork item would be? Just like a clock? Or is there something more? My apologies but I'm having a hard time thinking of it.

It doesn't have to be a clock specifically, but something that doesn't rely on electricity would be a good example. Like a bicycle, or an old typewriter, or even something like a rubik's cube. They all have moving parts that interact, but are moved mechanically instead of electrically.
 
Kingston, L

ZmbnGTM.jpg
  • Heroism Statistics
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Malikai Malikai you may want to note that the plasma produced would probably be very very hot, especially if it can sustain itself in air.
 
Not necessarily so, J. Normally, plasma is hot. But that is because high temperature is the only way to get electrons to have high enough kinetic energy to disassociate from the potential well of the nucleus. The way I am understanding the power though, the blood acts like a catalyst, allowing the electrons to escape at low energy levels.
 
Not necessarily so, J. Normally, plasma is hot. But that is because high temperature is the only way to get electrons to have high enough kinetic energy to disassociate from the potential well of the nucleus. The way I am understanding the power though, the blood acts like a catalyst, allowing the electrons to escape at low energy levels.
It sounds like it's just arcing the air due to its electrical nature, but I guess that works too.
 
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Natealie Natealie I've got a few questions!
  • How much is too much blood? What volume of blood can she safely remove from herself?
  • What happens when she uses too much blood?
  • Do her constructs have a time limit? Are they affected by water? Air?
  • What makes her an S rank, instead of a C or B rank?
 
Natealie Natealie I've got a few questions!
  • How much is too much blood? What volume of blood can she safely remove from herself?
  • What happens when she uses too much blood?
  • Do her constructs have a time limit? Are they affected by water? Air?
  • What makes her an S rank, instead of a C or B rank?
Did you read the first sheet or second one? I updated the second one and it's the current since I used an old layout for the first. I didn't want to get rid of the work I already did though.

I'm afraid I don't have exact numbers for how much is too much or how much can be safely removed from her, but that's because I don't know how much blood a 14 year old girl has offhand.

If she uses too much blood she'll pass out from blood loss. At which point the constructs she has out will become liquid again and she'll be completely vulnerable.

The constructs have no time limit and are unaffected by air or water. And there is no limit to how many she can have out at a time as long as she allows her blood to replenish. That's why she's an s rank. Not for sheer power but versitility.
 
ChaosZereul ChaosZereul if you haven't already, could you add approximate size (meters or feet, doesn't matter) of Zayne's barrier?

Natealie Natealie I completely ignored the original sheet, I assume that an edited version will contain the same base info as the original.
 
welian welian It's mentioned at the bottom of the first paragraph, the barrier can be expanded to roughly 12 feet in diameter and is shaped like a sphere. It also doesn't need to be expanded to work, it originally starts out coating his body. Sorry if I worded it poorly.
 
ChaosZereul ChaosZereul if you haven't already, could you add approximate size (meters or feet, doesn't matter) of Zayne's barrier?

Natealie Natealie I completely ignored the original sheet, I assume that an edited version will contain the same base info as the original.
Ok. Sorry about the confusion. The answers I provided are still what I stand by in that case.
 
I just googled the average so 105 pounds.
Based on really rough math, she would have about one gallon of blood in her body, total.

"According to the American College of Surgeons’ Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS), hemorrhaging can be divided into four classifications of severity. The first class is the least severe, concerning a hemorrhage equal to or lesser than 15 percent of the body’s total blood volume. For reference, when a person donates blood, about eight to 10 percent of the body’s blood is removed. There are generally no symptoms of blood loss at this point, though some may feel slightly faint.

A Class 2 hemorrhage is a loss of 15 to 30 percent of blood volume. This is where symptoms of blood loss begin to manifest. “The body tries to compensate at this point with, among other things, a faster heartbeat to speed oxygen to tissues,” Alton said. “The patient will feel weak, appear pale, and skin will be cool.”

The next level of blood loss occurs with the Class 3 hemorrhage, which references loss of 30 to 40 percent of total blood volume. This could be around 3 to 4 pints of blood, for those keeping track. Blood transfusion is usually necessary with a hemorrhage of this magnitude, according to Alton.

“At this point, the heart will be beating very quickly and is straining to get enough oxygen to tissues,” he said. “Blood pressure drops. Smaller blood vessels are constricting to keep the body core circulation going.”

The final classification of hemorrhaging, Class 4, occurs when a person loses over 40 percent of their blood volume. A hemorrhage so severe requires immediate and major resuscitative help, or else the strain on the body’s circulatory system will be too great to survive. The heart will no longer be able to maintain blood pressure and circulation, Alton said, so organs will fail and the patient will slip into a comatose state preceding death.

This condition is called hypovolemic shock, and the prognosis depends on many factors, including the amount of blood lost, the rate at which a patient is losing it, and the illness or injury underlying the blood loss."

There's some straight-up ignoring we can do for the sake of looking cool as shit, but I still think you should add in some limitations based on how much blood she has, and how tired she would be afterward - and if there's consequences for not using her power often enough, etc.
 
Based on really rough math, she would have about one gallon of blood in her body, total.

"According to the American College of Surgeons’ Advanced Trauma Life Support(ATLS), hemorrhaging can be divided into four classifications of severity. The first class is the least severe, concerning a hemorrhage equal to or lesser than 15 percent of the body’s total blood volume. For reference, when a person donates blood, about eight to 10 percent of the body’s blood is removed. There are generally no symptoms of blood loss at this point, though some may feel slightly faint.

A Class 2 hemorrhage is a loss of 15 to 30 percent of blood volume. This is where symptoms of blood loss begin to manifest. “The body tries to compensate at this point with, among other things, a faster heartbeat to speed oxygen to tissues,” Alton said. “The patient will feel weak, appear pale, and skin will be cool.”

The next level of blood loss occurs with the Class 3 hemorrhage, which references loss of 30 to 40 percent of total blood volume. This could be around 3 to 4 pints of blood, for those keeping track. Blood transfusion is usually necessary with a hemorrhage of this magnitude, according to Alton.

“At this point, the heart will be beating very quickly and is straining to get enough oxygen to tissues,” he said. “Blood pressure drops. Smaller blood vessels are constricting to keep the body core circulation going.”

The final classification of hemorrhaging, Class 4, occurs when a person loses over 40 percent of their blood volume. A hemorrhage so severe requires immediate and major resuscitative help, or else the strain on the body’s circulatory system will be too great to survive. The heart will no longer be able to maintain blood pressure and circulation, Alton said, so organs will fail and the patient will slip into a comatose state preceding death.

This condition is called hypovolemic shock, and the prognosis depends on many factors, including the amount of blood lost, the rate at which a patient is losing it, and the illness or injury underlying the blood loss."

There's some straight-up ignoring we can do for the sake of looking cool as shit, but I still think you should add in some limitations based on how much blood she has, and how tired she would be afterward - and if there's consequences for not using her power often enough, etc.

Natealie Natealie

I feel like however powerful the constructs are, this does not make sense as an S class power if the maximal volume of the construct is a quart and a half. What if she could control any blood that her blood touched though? (So not blood inside another person, but once it was out of them, she could co-opt it for constructs.) This would raise the power level dramatically, and frighteningly. The worse a massacre became, the more powerful she would be, but at horrific cost.
 

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