Realistic or Modern California: The Goddammit Chronicles

[Historical Storyteller]

@Keralah Sincrieph Kazig Winter_Wolf Jarizard @Malz
Carl steps on the brake, quickly slowing his car by at least 30 mph. As he slows down, the speeder's car misses in its attempt to slam his car off the road, and ends up flying off the road itself, flipping over. Luckily, there's only a small incline of grass, so the speeder didn't fall off a high point. "Holy shit..." Abraham comments. Indeed.

Making sure to check the rearview mirror, Carl slows the car and parks it off to the side. "Alright, let's see if this guy is still kicking." He exits the car and draws his Beretta 92, with Abraham doing the same.
The speeder's car was smoking, and could light up any minute. The two cops approached cautiously, aiming where the driver should be. Leaning in, he could see the speeder knocked out, with the airbag shoved in his face. "Abraham, he's unconscious in here."

"Can you get him out?" Yes he can. Carl takes his baton from his belt and whacks the window twice, breaking it. The door probably wasn't gonna work, anyway. Then he pulls the speeder out with one hand while keeping his gun trained on him. "He doesn't have any serious injuries, so no medical attention for this asshole." Carl comments, rolling him over and handcuffing him.

7 Minutes Later...
More police had arrived on the scene, and business on the highway resumed as usual. A few men were making sure the wreckage wasn't going to explode before searching it. "Hey, I think I see a revolver in there." Abraham comments. Sure enough, there was, on the 'floor' of the car. Carl walks over and reaches through one of the broken windows, grabbing it. "I don't think the owner's gonna want it back anytime soon."

"Hey fellas, I think one of the dogs found something!" An officer said, as the nearby dog tried digging into the trunk.

"Open her up, then." The officer is about to open the trunk with a crowbar, but then hesitates. "You wanna do the honors?"
"Sure." Carl takes the crowbar and with a mighty heave, pops the trunk open.
Several white bricks, along with some powder loose themselves from a cardboard box.

... ... ... "I'm no expert, but I think I know why that guy was speeding."

7:01 PM, April 11th
Someone called 911, because apparently he wanted a refund for his shoes, and the cashier was refusing.
Luckily we were in the neighborhood, and it didn't take us long to reach the shoe store.

"Alright they were... HEY YOU! HOW MUCH WERE THEY!" "Those were $11.99..." "ELEVEN NINETY-NINE!"
The bells on the door rang as the two cops opened the door. It was pretty obvious who the perp was; a man holding a phone, with an unshaven face, and with no concept of personal hygiene as all... The man turns at the two, completely oblivious to their intent. "The fuck are you two looking at?!"

"Sir, we've heard something about a disturbance. What seems to be the problem?"

"You should watch your tongue, we're the police."

"Some fat fuck who thinks they're the king of the world."

[Draw Weapon] "Get down on the ground, now!"

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

"Sir, we've heard something about a disturbance. What seems to be the problem?"

 

[Agent]

Kazig Blorf Jarizard Historical Storyteller
"Sir, we've heard something about a disturbance. What seems to be the problem?" Carl answers.

The man takes a step away from the counter and puts his phone down. "Took you long enough!" He says, then pointing to the cashier. "This bitch isn't giving me a refund for my damn shoes!"

Abraham smirked. "Do you have a receipt?"

"I don't need a fucking receipt! I need my goddamn refund and I want it now!"

"You need to-" Carl says, trying to calm him down.

The man wasn't having any of it. "Shut the fuck up! Just arrest this bitch if she doesn't give me my refund!"

Carl and Abraham glance at the shoebox on the counter, presumably belonging to the angry customer. "May we see the shoes?"

Like an idiot, the man takes the shoebox and opens it by tossing it on the ground. The shoes look like they've been used significantly for at least a year. Pieces are falling off, and the shoelaces don't look like they'll work anymore. "So... what's the reason you want a refund?"

"I don't like these shoes anymore and I want a refund for these pieces of shit!"

"How long ago did you purchase them?"

"You can't get a refund for these."

"I'm no expert, but I don't think these shoes are worth anything."

"Sir, I think you should leave."

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

 

[Historical Storyteller]

"Sir, I think you should leave."

 

[Kazig]

"Sir, I think you should leave."

 

[Blorf]

X is my second favorite letter after all. My most favorite is ß.

 

[Jarizard]

Triangle For Sure

 

[Winter_Wolf]

> Triangle.

 

[Fable]

"Sir, I think you should leave."

 

[Agent]

Historical Storyteller Kazig Blorf Jarizard Winter_Wolf Fable
"Sir, I think you should leave." Carl said sternly.

Unfortunately, the man didn't get the point. "Will I get my refund?"

"No."

That immediately causes him to start stomping like a privileged toddler. "But I need my refund! Why don't you just arrest this bitch already?!"

Carl sighs. "Listen here, there isn't a good cause for you to get a refund over those dumbass shoes of yours, so if you don't get the fuck outta here, i'm gonna have to detain you!"

Ooh, that hit kinda hard. The man backed up slightly... then grabbed one of the shoes and hit Carl in the face with it! "Ow!"

"Hey! Stop that!" Abraham yells, grabbing the man in an attempt to stop him. His attempt failed as the man hits Abraham with his head, then tries climbing over the counter to assault the cashier, who starts running away.

Luckily, Carl recovered quickly and pulled the man off the counter, causing him to fall onto the ground. "Ergh- restrain him!" He barks, and Abraham comes over to help him. "Stop... struggling!" He doesn't, so Abraham pulls out his taser. "If you don't stop screwing around, i'm gonna have to tase you!"
"Fuck you!" He pulls the trigger, causing two wires to fire out and attach to his back. "This is gonna hurt." He holds down the trigger, causing him to start spasming. "Auuugggh! Aaaaahhh! Graaaaaaa!"

That was... enough, hopefully. Now that the angry customer has been subdued, Carl is able to pick up his phone. "Who is this?"

"This is 911, is everything alright out there?" Oh right, he called 911 for his stupid refund.

"Yes. The person we apprehended tried attacking us, but we were able to restrain him."

A sigh can be heard on the phone. "Oh thank you. I've been listening to this guy for a few minutes now."

"No problem, madam. Have a good rest of the evening." He ends the call.

... ... ...
"You have yourself a nice day, miss. Sorry you had to deal with that guy." Abraham tells the cashier as he lifts the aggravator out of the building.
The two officers stand outside the car, after tossing the handcuffed man in the back. "So, that was pretty exciting, huh?"

"Sure man," Carl answers halfheartedly. "but I don't understand what's wrong with people."

Abraham shrugs. "Well, you know... have I ever told you-"

"About your princess of a cousin? Yes." Carl glances around for a second. "Hey, would you mind driving this time? I think i'll post this story on Reddit."

His partner gives a disapproving glance. "Can't you do that at home? ...alright then." They both enter the car.

8:17 PM, April 11th
One ride to the precinct later, and the boys are back on the road. There was another 9-1-1 call, this time there was a report of someone trying to break into a home.
Abraham pulls the car by a neighborhood, and sure enough, there's a strange man trying to open a window with a crowbar. "Let me handle this. If there's some trouble, come over and help." Carl says, exiting the car and approaching the stranger.
Too bad for him, he was so busy trying to open the window that he didn't notice the lights coming from the cop car.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Hello there!"

[Draw Weapon] "Freeze! California Police!"

[Fire Taser]

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

 

[Kazig]

"Hello there!"
General Kenobi

 

[Blorf]

Hello Neighbor there! I bet you locked yourself outside, right?

 

[Fable]

"Hello there!"

 

[Jarizard]

Square

 

[Agent]

Kazig Blorf Fable Jarizard
"Hello there!" Carl says innocently!

"Woah!" The stranger says, jumping a bit, trying to hide his intentions. "Don't scare me like that!"

The police officer chuckles slightly. "Sorry, kiddo. This your house?"

"Uhh- yeah, yeah! Thisismyhouse." It was pretty obvious that he was lying, but Carl kept playing dumb.
"What were you doing with the window?"

He looks back at the window, then to Carl. "I umm... l-left my keys inside, that's it, and now i'm locked out of my own house." He answers, nervously chuckling.

Instinctively, Carl puts his right hand on his hip, as the stranger might so something stupid any second now... "How'd you get locked out without your keys?"

"W-well you know... the door just locks behind me whenever I leave, so..."

"Son, you should just go home."

"Need me to call a locksmith to get that fixed?"

[Draw Weapon] "Put your hands up!"

[Punch Stranger]

Also... SHINE FLASHLIGHT IN HIS FACE?

HELL YEAH

NO WAY

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

 

[Kazig]

"Need me to call a locksmith to get that fixed?"

HELL YEAH

Enforcing the law in the most passive aggressive way possible

 

[Winter_Wolf]

>go home
>HELL YEAH

 

[Blorf]

^ I second that.

 

[Historical Storyteller]

Kazig Blorf Fable Jarizard
"Hello there!" Carl says innocently!

"Woah!" The stranger says, jumping a bit, trying to hide his intentions. "Don't scare me like that!"

The police officer chuckles slightly. "Sorry, kiddo. This your house?"

"Uhh- yeah, yeah! Thisismyhouse." It was pretty obvious that he was lying, but Carl kept playing dumb.
"What were you doing with the window?"

He looks back at the window, then to Carl. "I umm... l-left my keys inside, that's it, and now i'm locked out of my own house." He answers, nervously chuckling.

Instinctively, Carl puts his right hand on his hip, as the stranger might so something stupid any second now... "How'd you get locked out without your keys?"

"W-well you know... the door just locks behind me whenever I leave, so..."

"Son, you should just go home."

"Need me to call a locksmith to get that fixed?"

[Draw Weapon] "Put your hands up!"

[Punch Stranger]

Also... SHINE FLASHLIGHT IN HIS FACE?

HELL YEAH

NO WAY

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

"Son, you should just go home."

Just get straight to the point.

 

[Fable]

"Son, you should just go home."

HELL YEAH

 

[Agent]

Kazig Winter_Wolf Blorf Historical Storyteller Fable
Carl pulls his flashlight out and turns it on, keeping it aimed at the man like a huge douche. "Son, you should just go home." He didn't look too good... might be an addict.

"Wh- no, but uh- this -is- my house! And get that light out of my face!" He says defensively.

But that is met with a head shake of nope. "I don't think so. If you don't get on outta here, things are gonna get ugly real fast."

That didn't have the intended effect, as it's met with a scowl. "I don't have to listen to you! You get lost!"

"Is that how you want it to be?" Carl steps forward, determined to stop the man's shennanigans. "Would you like to rot in jail for the rest of your life? Maybe then you'll think to yourself; 'If only I hadn't done that'. Is that what you want, boy?!"

"I... uhm..." He takes a few steps away from the house, dropping the crowbar. With the flashlight still being shined at him... he then turns around and makes a break for it.
As he ran, Carl could see the handle of a gun sticking out of the back of his pants.

...
He goes back to his car, and lights up a cigarette. "Hey, that kid had a gun..." Abraham remarks.

"I know. I don't think he'll use it any time soon." Carl responds nonchalantly.
A minute or two pass before he drops the cigarette and steps on it, because it was about time to get going.
Though there's the sound of a door opening. Carl instinctively turns his head to see a man approaching him. Probably the one that called 911? "Hey, where's the criminal?"

"I let him off with a warning."

"Scared him off."

"He's gone; nothing to worry about."

"Someone's taking him to the station right now."

CHAOTIC

LAWFUL

 

[Winter_Wolf]

> He's gone, nothing to worry about.

 

[Kazig]

"He's gone; nothing to worry about."

 

[Historical Storyteller]

"Scared him off."

 

[Fable]

"He's gone; nothing to worry about."

 

[Agent]

Winter_Wolf Kazig Historical Storyteller Fable
"He's gone; nothing to worry about."

The man breathes a sigh of relief. "Phew, I thought he was gonna break through one of my windows there. Thanks."

Carl walks over to the crowbar the stranger dropped and picked it up. "No problem, have a good rest of your evening."

"You too." He says, waving before going back to his house.

Carl goes back to the car. "Well, I think that's been enough for one day, don't you think?"

Abraham nods in response. "Yeah, my wife is probably gonna kill me if I get home too late."

Episode V: Ana​

My name is Ana Winsley. I am... a 911 Operator in California.

Spoiler: Previously in Ana's Story

Ana received numerous calls, with one being particularly annoying because of they wanted a refund for their shoes. But besides that, nothing interesting.

6:58 PM, April 11th
Once more, the phone rings. Ana picks it up. "9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"Hel p... i'm bleed.. ing..." Oh shit. The caller sounded like they were in a really bad condition. Ana had to act fast.

LOCATION

INJURIES

INCIDENT

THIS ISN'T AN OPTION I JUST NEEDED TO PUT THIS HERE

ANGER

SADNESS