Badly Describe a Game Here

Dinosaurs or other players ruin hours of your life in seconds.
~Ark: Survival Evolved

Should probably be contractually obligated to play.
~Gloomhaven

You lose before you start playing.
~Vampire the Masquerade

Murder furries.
~Werewolf the Apocolypse

Rest in peace, but not really.
~Wraith the Oblivion

What the hell is going on?
~Changeling the Dreaming

It sounded like a good idea at the time.
~Vampire the Requiem
 
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Terrorism Simulator
- Counter Strike

Kill the son of a God by shouting at it.
- Skyrim

Kill the Macho Man: Randy Savage with the power of farts.
- Skyrim, modded.

An old man, a biker, an IT and a college student fight zombies as they head south.
- Left 4 Dead

A football coach, a conman, a mechanic and a journalist fight zombies as they head even further south.
- Left 4 Dead 2
 
Space pirate-farmers
(Warframe)

LMG! MOUNTED! AND LOADED!
(Rainbow Six: Siege)

I need healing.
(Overwatch)
 
Dragon Age: Origins
A bunch of Night's Watch wannabes fight weird orc guys. Featuring an awkward basted prince, a witch, a French spy, a bug grey man with dreadlocks, a sweet old lady, a bisexual elven assasin, a drunk dwarf, and the goodest heccin doggo in all of video gaming.

Fire Emblem: Awakening
Ever heard of X-Men Days of Future Past? Well, it's that, but a turn based strategy game that's actually a dating sim in disguise.
 
Master Chief-except-you-can-change-his-hat and tiny floating Wheatley go around the solar system beating up bugs, the Borg, the Flood, and rhinoceros men to protect a giant Spaceball. --Destiny--

Rhinoceros men break the giant Spaceball and kick Master Chief-except-you-can-change-his-hat out of the Spaceballs Fan Club, so now he and tiny floating Wheatley must find a flashlight big enough to save the world or something. --Destiny 2--
 
An all-star sports player from the future, but actually the past, but actually a dream, wakes up on a beach to tag along on a religious journey to kill a massive flying whale.

Final Fantasy X
 
Taken, but with the high probability of being eaten/killed by something mutated beyond recognition.

- Fallout 4
 
You tried to steal and ancient artifact and have now released a shit ton of monsters against the world that you can steal life force from. Two secret but highly militarized organizations have eyes on you, one wants you dead, the other wants to use you then imprison you.
-Legendary

Broken controllers
- Dark Souls

Dildo bat
-Saints Row 4

Fuckin sqeakers
-Any Call Of Duty

Running Simulator
- DayZ

Valve's rage simulator
-CSGO

Minecraft and DayZ's love child
-Unturned

Human space ninja's but are called "Tenno"
-Warframe

Anyone else want some tea?
-Halo
 
Local man gets plugged into an organic computer and goes on a quest to kill it's brain
- The Evil Within

Local man decides investigating an asylum is a good idea, promptly turns into an eldritch horror
-Outlast
 
1. A poem-loving weirdo with a sword, a roid-raging dwarf, rejected concept art for Stephen King's Carrie and a sleazy ex-soldier team up to kill a mask-wearing rich jackass before he gets the purple stuff and wakes up the giant worm or whatever. Cameo appearance by Olympic athlete meat bicycle rider and a girl that spews memes from 2006.

2. Criminal justice system interrupted by flying, fire-breathing edgelord; man escapes and learns he can yell really loud. Hijinks ensue.

3. Dean Hall's early access simulator.

4. Zombie man that's eternal soul-bros with a spooky ghost boi runs around Sauron's crib, mentally violating his handicapped minions and forcing them to stab each other.

1 - Borderlands 2
2 - TESV Skyrim
3 - DayZ, standalone version
4 - Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor
 
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join a server and expect the perfect roleplay experience, then get blown to bits by an interplanetary weapon while ten cheaters pull up in their bugattis and bra-ta-ta your corpse.

-Grand Theft Auto V: Online
 
Slap an Elder Dragon with a giant tunafish... in the face!
-Monster Hunter 3: Ultimate

Slap the world's most unfortunate patient ever... in the face!
-Surgeon Simulator

Slap random villagers... in the face!
-Crashlands!

Slap Captain Kirk... in the face! ... WITH HIS OWN HAND!
-www.slapkirk.com/play

... That last one is, surprisingly, addicting as heck, and free to play! :D
 
If you've ever wanted to run a gulag, this game is for you.

- Prison Architect
 
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