A Prince and His Knight

[Quatre Winner]

"I thought I had lost you…"


Kai was stunned, utterly, completely stunned by these words. Even the idea that Devan had dreamed of him paled in comparison with the way he said this, as though his heart had nearly broken. Would he truly mourn the loss of a knight like Kai? Maybe Kai was reading too much into it, but those large, soulful eyes were looking up at him, and the knight's heartbeat quickened. On the one hand, he hated to see his prince so afraid; Kai wished he could soothe Devan with just a word or a touch. On the other hand, he couldn't deny the thrill he felt that the beautiful prince had been so afraid of losing him. Devan was practically begging Kai to stay with him forever…


Reality, like cold water, drenched any of his wilder fantasies. Kai knew better than to put much credence in what anyone said when they were afraid. Anyway, Devan cared about everyone around him; surely such a prince wouldn't want to see his knight die.


Said knight was trying to be rational; he didn't like having hopeful or triumphant emotions when his prince was suffering. Kai rubbed his back gently, reminding himself over and over again that he had just been imagining things because he wanted them to be there. He couldn't let his feelings for the prince get in the way, not when Devan was looking to him for support.


"Don't be sorry, your highness…Bad dreams do often seem real." he said, surprised at the gentleness of his own voice. He was further surprised at the way he pulled Devan into his own chest, rocking him slightly. It was something he had seen women do for their children. He had no doubts that the loving Queen had done as much for her own son. Kai just hoped he wasn't too awkward to comfort his prince.


"I'm not going anywhere; I gave my oath to protect you, and that is what I will do." For a moment, he wondered if he could get away with resting his cheek against the soft, tousled hair, but decided against it. "And I will bring you back to your kingdom, and those who love you, no matter what the cost."

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan couldn't help wanting to apologize. It's what he always seemed to do. Then Kai pulled him closer and started to rock slightly. Normally it took forever to relax after a nightmare, which were more common than he liked. But this time was different. Kai, although just a bit awkward, was warm. He even promised he wasn't going anywhere and they'd both make it home just fine.


Devan still clung to Kai as the knight rocked him. Before he could even think, the words were out of his mouth and he couldn't just take them back. Even though he wished he could. Sometimes life didn't go exactly how you planned.


"I love you, Kai." He had this fear that Kai would think he meant just like he loved all of his people, but that wasn't what he meant. He had realized just how much Kai meant to him when he thought about losing him forever. He didn't want that.

 

[Quatre Winner]

At first, Kai did think that was all he meant, but his rocking stopped, and everything went very quiet for a few moments. It was probably a good thing Devan wasn't looking at him right then, because Kai's face darkened to a ruddy color in the firelight, and his eyes went very wide. Memories of dreams where the prince had said such words floated back to him, and he was forced to acknowledge their existence. His heart skipped several beats, and his breath caught in his throat. How often, even in waking life, had he imagined Devan saying those exact words to him?


Yet, even as Kai held the prince against his heart, he didn't dare hope. It was too much, too lofty for someone like him. Even though Devan didn't go around saying he loved everyone, he still did, and maybe that was all this was to him? The love of a prince to his subject. That was all… Such love was infinitely worth having, but that being the case, why did Kai feel so crushed?


No, he must not feel that way. To feel crushed meant there had been hope of a return, which there never was. It was unreasonable, unfair. Knight and prince did not go together, ever. It was prince and princess, king and queen, high-born and high-born, not some ragged orphan on whom the royal family had taken pity. Yet, how long had he watched Devan, loving him? Even the knight didn't know, but long enough to know it was real, not the quick passion of youth. It had been many years, at least… But that didn't mean he deserved Devan. How could he aspire to such a treasure, not just with his ignoble birth, but in teh ay he had always treated the prince? Kai may have been hard on him sometimes out of love, but that was the rough caring of the soldier, not the gentle, nurturing love of the court ballads, of a worthy wife. As Kai started to realize just what it was he felt for the prince, he fought against it, tooth and nail, not wanting to be overwhelmed. With a supreme effort, Kai pushed his emotions as far down as he could, but even then, his throat tightened.


"That is why your people love you, my prince." he said quietly, "Because you love them all, including your unbelieving knight." Some part of him hoped that Devan would deny this, and say it was the knight he thought about and dreamed about, but if Kai was truthful he didn't expect it.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Kai wasn't saying anything. Why wasn't Kai saying anything? Had Devan messed up? Had his words been such a mistake that their relationship to now has been forever changed? Devan squeezed his eyes shut tight. He had probably ruined everything with the three little words. Devan's heart sunk low as Kai went longer without speaking. Then he did.


Devan looked up at Kai and hated what he said. His eyes were big and almost like they were filling with tears. "No." He had to let Kai know. Even if it meant everything became worse and Kai wanted nothing to do with him because of it. He had to let Kai know. "Not like I love my people." He said. He shut his eyes for a moment.


It was the moment that would change everything and he didn't know how to say it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see his face, but he had to. He would rather end up heartbroken than e forever curious as to how Kai reacted. "I love you like mother loves father." His heart pounded loudly. His blood rushing behind his ears. He wanted to see Kai's reaction. Would he hate Devan after this?

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai immediately hated himself, though he didn't know what he'd done, exactly, to make those beautiful eyes fill with tears. He often didn't know what he'd said or done when other people were hurt or offended, but with Devan it was different. It was at these times that the knight wished he was better with people, and knew the right things to say. Whatever he had said hadn't cut it with the prince, and now he despised himself for every bit of moisture gathering in the corners of Devan's large eyes. Why was he so close to tears, though?


Kai had both hands on the prince's shoulders, as if bracing him, but the next moment he felt like falling backward as the floor tilted under them. Had he heard right? His eyes, narrower than the prince's, somehow became round as saucers, staring at Devan as though the prince was a creature he'd never seen before. The words he'd spoken sunk into Kai's brain, but for some reason, they refused to link together correctly for several minutes. Perhaps this was because, in the knight's mind, they couldn't possibly go together, just like a prince and his knight. It just wasn't possible that the prince had said what Kai thought he said.


Kai's lips parted, but no words escaped him, as he remained utterly still. Somewhere between his ears something exploded soundlessly, and he felt warm and dizzy and bewildered all at once. Apparently, tonight was a night for surprises, and this one had utterly blindsided him. Kai could read his opponents in battle as though their heads were made of glass, but when it came to normal interaction he was totally at sea. How could this have snuck up on him? Or was it all just a dream?


The prince's fair face, red from blushing, was turned toward him almost pleadingly. In that moment, the little look of his seemed to melt Kai's resistance, though he still held to disbelief out of habit. It was a dream…a wonderful dream meant to get his hopes up.


"You…cannot love me." he found himself saying, and his voice sounded odd. It didn't sound like himself at all, but some stranger using his throat and tongue. "You cannot…it's impossible. I…I am just a knight. I'm meant to serve you. How can I dare to aspire…"


No, this was all wrong! Right and wrong, because it felt so beautifully right, but his whole upbringing stood before him like an obstacle. Not that he should love another man- he'd come to terms with that long ago. No, that a prince should love him. And such a prince!


"I'm not worthy." he said, starting to pull away before the heat spread from his hands to his arms, then his heart, because he would lose himself utterly. Kai couldn't afford that, even when what he had longed for was now within reach.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan screwed up. Kai wasn't saying anything and Devan made a huge mistake. He shouldn't have said anything. He should have buried the emotion deep inside and ignored it. He couldn't imagine why he said it. There was no way Kai loved him. Not in the way Devan wanted. His heart seemed to shatter, pieced falling down until they all sunk into the pit it his stomach.


Kai didn't love him. Of course he didn't. He was just fulfilling his duty. And why would he love Devan anyway? He wasn't anything special. Not that he could see anyway. He wanted to rip away from Kai, to go to a corner of the room and hide. He didn't want to hear whatever Kai had to say.


Then he started to talk. But somehow he didn't sound like Kai. Even still, the words broke his heart again and tears started to spill over. He felt Kai pulling away. Devan didn't want him to. If he did, Devan would lose all hope in anything. It would feel like he lost Kai. He'd ruined everything with his stupid words. He shouldn't have said anything. Silently he kept cursing the emotions he had no control over.


Suddenly he grabbed Kai's hands. "Love is blind." His voice was weak, pleading. He didn't want Kai to hate him. Even if Kai didn't love him back, he couldn't have Kai hating him. "No one is worthy, it just...happens." He looked down away from Kai as the silent tears slipped down even more. "I'm sorry." He let go of Kai's hands, hating that they were trapped in this room. "I shouldn't have said anything. I've ruined everything. I'm sorry." He looked away, turning around. It hurt too much to face Kai knowing he'd likely lost him. Sure, maybe Kai would still act like the knight he was when they got back, but he ruined their relationship. It felt like he'd lost his only friend and he couldn't take it. He hated himself for saying anything.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Those eyes….those mesmerizing eyes… In spite of himself, Kai kept getting lost in them, in the emotions that seemed to crowd in their depths. Tears softened them, spilling over like little crystals. Unconsciously, Kai reached out to gather them up with his thumbs, and felt surprised as they seemed to melt away with the heat of his skin. At the same time, he was terribly aware of the fact that the prince was crying. That was his fault, his stupid, blundering fault. If anyone was to blame, it wasn't Devan.


"Don't be sorry." his voice had turned rough again, probably because his throat was starting to tighten. Kai hadn't felt that in more years than he liked to count. On the one hand, his heart pounded against his chest, as though his soul was trying to scream some sense into him. The prince, whom he had loved for years uncounted, loved him back! How could he be throwing that away? How could he dare not to fall at Devan's feet and beg for forgiveness for not accepting his priceless offer?


The prince was turning away from him, and the look on that flushed face made Kai wish he was dead and buried. He would have welcomed the dark creatures coming to tear him apart, just so Devan didn't have to look at his unworthy face again. Why wasn't he saying anything? Why did he seem frozen to teh spot? Kai had never faltered in battle, not once. How was it that this simple task should prove so impossible?


Because he was not in complete accordance with himself. He loved the prince, wholly and completely, there was no question of that. But his mind revolted from the thought because he would be ruining the prince's chance for happiness, and the kingdom's safety, especially now that he understood how it all worked. Once more, the knight remembered how Devan had looked when speaking of the magical bond between king and queen. Only in that moment did he understand where the hesitation had been. It was both humbling and gratifying, but he couldn't let the prince sell himself short. Even as Kai grasped Devan's little hand, pressing it between both his own, he didn't know how to change the prince's mind…


"Devan," he murmured, then cringed inwardly. He had said the prince's name like a prayer…which was how he felt. But that wasn't supposed to be how this proceeded. Kai cleared his throat and tried again.


"Devan…my prince…" A little better, but still too emotional. Unfortunately, his heart seemed to be overpowering his mind. Instead of bringing forward the reasons they could not be together, clearly and concisely, he said, "You haven't ruined anything. "I…I have failed you. I knew I was getting too close, and should have sent someone else in my place, even if you had asked. But I could not bear to be apart from you. I could not bear to think that you would be here, and that something would have happened…" For a moment, his eyes went dark, "But I cannot be selfish. The kingdom requires that you….marry…and love….a queen. Without it, by your own admission, the country would be left unprotected. Who am I to put all that in jeopardy, even though I l-"


Abruptly, Kai stopped, biting his tongue just in time. Yet, the look in his strangely widened eyes would have told Devan enough, unless he chose to ignore it. Kai hadn't meant to say any of that at all, much less to nearly confess his true, deep feelings for his prince. Devan hadn't ever been meant to know it or hear of it. Kai would have taken his private pain to his grave, but now it was written all over his face, and in every tense line in his body. Even the hands that held Devan's trembled slightly. Kai never shook like that, ever.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan thought the silence meant that Kai thought it was his fault too. He had ruined everything. Then Kai took his hand. Devan slowly looked up at the knight. His tears seemed to fall harder when Kai said 'my prince' like that. Devan wanted to be so much more than just his prince. He just didn't know how to say it.


Then he wanted to shout at Kai. Only he got to decide when someone failed him. He could never see Kai being someone to do that. "You haven't failed me." He told him gently. "And if you didn't come with me, I was going alone. I don't trust anyone else with the secret." He wanted to believe Kai was going to say "I love you" back, but that didn't happen.


"And I could never properly love a queen." Devan knew for years this would be true. "Neither party would be happy and the border will crumble. I can't be responsible for that. Every woman deserves someone who will love them forever." Something he couldn't give.


He dropped his head and started to wipe furiously at the tears. He wanted to stop crying. It wasn't helping anything. "I love you." He repeated quietly. A lot was contained in those words. He didn't want a queen, he wanted Kai. The border wouldn't care so long as both were happy together. However, Devan had this awful feeling that Kai would never be happy with him.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai listened in silence, unable to move or speak for a long time. The only change came when he looked down, away from the prince's eyes. That, in itself, was an exceedingly unusual thing for the knight to do. Kai never averted his gaze, even with the king and queen, who accepted it as part of his forthright nature. Only in matters of discretion did his eyes look downward.


But now, he seemed unlike himself, rather lost and bewildered. He could not look into those beautiful, radiant eyes that seemed to consume him. Even with his gaze averted, Kai saw the prince's face in his mind's eye, captivating him more than ever. Each word that Devan spoke pierced his heart, but also paralyzed him with doubts and fears. Kai was never afraid, he did not doubt. Not usually. Now he felt like a complete mess, not knowing what to do or which way to turn. What the prince offered he desperately wanted to take. He had secretly dreamed of such a thing happening, but never before had he ever considered it a possibility. Now, he was confronted not just by his own desires and hopes and fears, but those of an entire kingdom. Above all were the prince's feelings, his wishes, his dreams. How could he, a knight, a boy with no family or lineage, dare to think he could be the equal of such a being as the prince? For equal he had to be in their marriage, if not in ruling power. Devan deserved no less than a partner who would stand beside him, neither in front nor behind. And even if he could be Devan's equal in their private life…


Kai forced himself to look upon Devan's beautiful face again, but he seemed oddly cowed by being next to him, like he felt filthy. "You need heirs, my prince… Those no man can give. How would the magic in your bloodline continue? How would you protect your people? Even if they accepted that we are two men…"


He faltered, and the hands around Devan's squeezed unconsciously. Kai's gaze searched his, then, half-desperate. "Gods above, how can I be trying to talk sense? I have loved you for so long, but all I can see is disaster…." That, really, was the crux if his whole argument. Kai could see nothing but their love, neverending, surrounded by the shattered houses and farms of their land, and the rioting and murder of the people. Loving as they were, they would still demand a queen, and heirs to the throne. True, blood heirs. Kai could see the prince withering away under the strain, until he became frail and old before his time, and the magic shriveled in him. Was Kai selfish enough to chance it because he loved Devan more than life itself?

 

[Tinker Bell]

Kai looked away, leaving Devan confused. Kai never looked away. Not from anyone. It scared him and he didn't want all of this to ruin everything. He wanted Kai to say that everything was going to be okay. He wanted him to tell him his fears weren't true. Then Kai looked up at him again. He thought maybe this was when Kai was going to say he loved him. But that didn't happen. Instead Kai started talking about heirs. Devan sighed quietly to himself.


Until he heard Kai continue. He heard it. It was there. Kai loved him back? Disaster. Right. Kai thought logically about everything. "Magic doesn't always find itself bound by blood." He told him quietly. "My great-great-great grandmother couldn't have children. She adopted." There was logic on his mind too. "The people didn't care because the adopted prince was raised as if he was their own. "And love is its own kind of magic. Somehow everything finds a way of working out." Not that he didn't think people were often that way. He knew a lot of it came down to themselves and how, if, they told the people.


But Kai loved him back. That was more than enough for him. For now. He had gotten the guilt of keeping it a secret out of his heart. At least to Kai. It had felt like he was lying to him, as if he was a horrible person for not telling him sooner.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai never would have thought Devan a liar, or a coward, or anything for not telling him sooner about how he felt. The knight hadn't exactly been forthright about his own feelings, how could he blame his prince? At the moment, he was too busy thinking of what Devan had said, and he had to take it on faith because he didn't know how magic worked. It was just this ephemeral THING that…happened… And made no sense. How, indeed, to explain this to the people, to the king and queen. Yet, Kai felt every objection slipping away, bit by bit, until his chest seemed to lighten with the sudden weightlessness. Years of silent, secret longing unexpectedly eased, leaving him strangely giddy. Giddy for Kai, anyway. The problems if their uncertain future still hung in the air, and they would need to be addressed, but at the moment he had done with being practical.


The knight was bursting with words and questions and actions and everything all at once. He hardly knew where to begin, or if he would explode from teh sheer amount of everything he'd held in for so long. Lifting a hand to the prince's cheek, he kept his eyes focused on Devan's, on their perfect shape and color, on the expression of genuine sweetness and love that had always sat there. To think that a larger portion of that might actually be his, that he might come first among all others…


"Devan…" he murmured, he name slipping so easily, so joyfully from his tongue. Kai was hesitant and awkward yet when it came to tenderness, but at the moment he felt he could almost sing what was in his heart. "Devan….all those years…I never dreamed you would ever even look at me..." If this was a dream, he hoped never to wake again.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan's cheek felt warm where Kai's hand rested. He leaned into it subconsciously. Then he placed his hand on top, as if to keep Kai's there. He was so afraid that Kai would take it back and all of this would be an awful dream. Then he said his name. The way Kai said it, so different than any other time, made his heart flutter. He never wanted to forget the way he said it. Kai was the most important person to him. He would do anything to keep Kai close to him.


While his chest rose with happiness, a smile spread across his face. "I never looked at anyone else." He said softly. In the years he'd started to realize how he felt, however slowly, it was like everyone slipped away. Of course they all still very much mattered, but he stopped seeing them as people to like in that way. They turned into the people his parents saw them as; mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters. Members of a large family. A family he was lucky enough to be part of. One he didn't want to lose. But he was in love and he didn't want to lose Kai either.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai knew what the prince meant, he understood that, however it had happened, he had slipped to the forefront of Devan's enormous heart. How, why…. He wanted to know, but that didn't seem to matter too much anymore. At the moment, it was just them, together, and the whole world was standing back in silence.


Kai had started to lean forward, though he didn't know why, nor did he seem to realize until he was nearly nose and nose with the prince. That little hand rested against his, keeping him firm and steady, when he felt like bursting apart with this strange new joy.


"Devan…" The prince's eyes seemed so large, like Kai could fall into them if he wasn't careful. They reminded him of summer days spent training, or chasing the prince down when he wanted to skip lessons and splash his feet in the little garden stream.


"I gave my heart to you…long, long ago. In the garden, the day you became so ill we thought we would lose you. I knew then that if you had died my heart would have, too. You woke me then…No one else could have done that." Kai spoke almost as though he was in a dream, his voice softer and more vulnerable than usual. He had never confessed this secret to anyone, or told them the reason why he had changed from mute, distant orphan to serious, dedicated squire. From that day he had become protective of the prince, and looked after him in every way he could. The palace staff thought it precious, and they credited Devan's consistent efforts at getting the other boy to even talk to him. In a far deeper way, they were correct. 
(Found another pic that looks like Kai, just with brown hair xD http://i1003.photobucket.com/albums/af156/DrakeandKieve/Anime Guys/Picture25.jpg) 
(Also this...and I'll stop now O_O http://sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/301313_10150281704463587_268199983_n.jpg)

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan's heart beat harder, faster, when Kai slowly leaned forward. It was unusual for him. Kai was usually so opposed to physical contact. The his words reached Devan's heart. That day was burned into his mind for so many reasons. That was the day he knew they were friends. Looking back, maybe the day they became more. But that was the day that their relationship had changed. He was grateful for that day.


His fingers curled lightly around Kai's larger hand, holding on just a bit. "I almost gave up." He said quietly. He felt like he had to say it. "Before that day I was sure you hated me, no matter what I did." He closed his eyes slowly. "I'm glad I got sick." There was no way he would trade it for anything in the world. It was the day that Kai seemed to start to care. In his own way of course.


After a moment, he wrapped his arms around Kai in a hug. He still didn't care if Kai didn't hug him back. He just wanted to feel closer to him. For Devan, all of it had started out by his mother asking him to make Kai feel welcomed in the castle. In the very beginning, it was just for her, but then things changed. He started to like Kai and he was grateful to his mother or making him be his friend.


((This is what I imagine Devan to look like, with the blonde hair obviously.... http://i568.photobucket.com/albums/ss128/JasperWhitlock101/97.jpg~original ))

 

[Quatre Winner]

(SO CUUUTE!)


"I never hated you." Kai said quickly, almost stung by the words. How could he ever have hated the golden prince who filled his life with sunshine? The lonely child had simply been afraid to get close to anyone else, terrified he would lose them, too. It had nearly happened. Kai had to agree that he was glad Devan had gotten sick. If he hadn't, maybe the knight would have remained stubbornly closed off forever, unwilling to risk opening his heart to the possibility of more loss. He had decided it would never happen again, not on his watch.


As Devan's arms embraced him, the knight threw his aloof manner to the wind. For now, anyway. He pressed his face against Devan's neck and shoulder, and held him close, breathing in the prince's scent. Even now, after a few days without either of them bathing, Kai didn't think he could get enough of the way Devan smelled, or the way his soft skin felt. The prince fit into the circle of his arms so beautifully, Kai could have held onto him forever.


"I love you…" he whispered, clutching the prince like he was afraid to let go. The bright creature might vanish any moment, leaving him in darkness. To say these words was wonderfully freeing, even if they left him feeling vulnerable, he didn't care. Devan had his heart, and he would keep it safe. That much Kai knew.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan smiled a bit when Kai said he never hated him. That honestly made Devan feel so much better. Happier. Kai never hated him. Then Kai even hugged him back. It made Devan's hear soar with happiness. He never wanted Kai to let go. Not ever. Then he heard his words and he held on just a little bit tighter.


"I love you too." He said quietly. He looked up at Kai after a moment. Then he placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He wanted to do more, but he was too nervous. He'd never kissed anyone before and he didn't know how Kai would react. A kiss on the cheek was good enough for him. The small act had sent a swarm of butterflies to his stomach. He never really thought about doing that to Kai before. The hugs were usually too much for the typically-stoic knight.

 

[Quatre Winner]

An intense warmth like he had never known before spread from the point of that kiss through Kai's whole body. He felt weightless, with only the prince to ground him, but didn't mind it at all. He didn't mind any of this- the hugging, the kiss, the closeness. It was as though a thick wall had been demolished, and he found it easier to be physical than he thought he could. The knight was still a bit awkward, even shy, but being able to sit like this, wrapped around his prince, was freeing in a way he hadn't expected. It was probably well that Devan didn't try anything further; Kai would probably have overloaded and shut down. For now, this was enough.


A long silence passed between them, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. Kai had started to rub the prince's back a little, but that was as far as he got for the moment. He wouldn't have known what else to do, apart from kissing, and that was out of his league yet. All he wanted to do for the present was to hold his beloved prince close, to smell his scent and feel Devan's breath against his neck. The sensation of mingled peace and excitement was a strange one he hadn't experienced before, but he held onto it like everything else, content for the present just to be with Devan like this. The knowledge that he was loved by such an angel never ceased to fill him with quiet wonder, and though the urge to sing aloud had passed quickly- he was still not one for such things- Kai couldn't help feeling a song in his heart.


However, even he knew they couldn't remain like this all night. Their journey the next day would be a long one, and their path difficult. He pulled away with great reluctance, reaching up with one hand to smooth the golden hair from Devan's turquoise eyes.


"You should sleep now, my dear prince." he said quietly. The addition of that single word was significant- Kai had not been accustomed to use pet names for anyone. It was as close as he got for now.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan liked the silence that fell between them. Kai never made him feel like he had to say anything, unlike so many people. Despite being so widely loved and admired - something which Devan never got used to - he was introverted. He couldn't deal with people all day a he couldn't always come up with things to say. It was nice that Kai never seemed to need him to talk. Silence was nice.


He started to relax at the hand rubbing his back. It felt nice. Then Kai pulled back a bit. The small added word made his heart flutter. Even though he didn't want to, Devan nodded a bit. He was starting to feel tired again. So he laid back, not bothering to fix the blanket where it laid askew from the nightmare. He went back to holding Kai's hand, not wanting to let him go. He was afraid the nightmare would come back. He wasn't going to lose not now, not ever. He knew this now. He was glad for the information. He couldn't do anything without Kai.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Without even thinking about it, Kai was already tucking the prince in, using one hand because Devan wouldn't let go of his other one. Strangely, he didn't feel so odd about that anymore. It felt natural, like their hands were supposed to join and fit.


"Sleep now, my prince. I will wake you in a few hours." Simple words, just like always, but there was more warmth to them, more emotion close to teh surface. Kai was calm now, accepting what had happened because of his love. He even did something rather impulsive, leaning down to press his lips into Devan's soft golden hair. The knight didn't know why he did it, and flushed slightly on pulling back, but he didn't exactly regret it, either. Kai would stand guard over his beloved prince as he slept, and that kiss seemed to be a silent promise.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan had almost been asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. He had gotten it into his head that he couldn't fall asleep. It was more like he didn't want to. Now he had no choice. He curled up on his side a little bit.


He felt the lips warm against him. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Sleep came easy after that and soon he was out. There were no bad dreams. No nightmares about losing the most important knight in the world. Nothing. He slept peacefully.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai reached out with his free hand, a look of wonder on his face. HIs expressions were strangely open right now, almost vulnerable. Not wishing to wake his prince, he brushed the backs of his fingers against Devan's warm cheek, feather-light. If this was a dream, it felt real.


A slight smile curled the knight's lips, and a warm feeling spread through his body, remembering the words Devan had spoken.


'I love you…'


Maybe it was foolish of him, but he couldn't help playing those words over and over in his head. They didn't seem real, almost like a dream too wonderful to be real. Never before had he imagined he could belong to someone, not in the sense of truly being foremost in their heart. His own had belonged to the prince for a long time, but always in silence, always alone. Now…he wasn't alone anymore.


For several hours, Kai watched over the prince as he slept, his ears and eyes sharp for any attack that might come. But their enemies were long-gone, and he couldn't help often looking at the prince's face while he slept. Kai let him sleep on longer than the allotted time, but he didn't mind. In truth, he was afraid to go to sleep, in case this was all in his imagination, and it would disappear when he woke again. But eventually he had to take his turn, not willing to put the prince in danger because he was overtired. At least he could use it as an excuse to touch the prince's cheek more firmly.


"Devan." he said, stroking that wonderfully warm skin. Oh, how he hated to wake the prince when he was so peaceful, but Kai couldn't help looking forward to that first hint of startling turquoise. "Devan…my prince."

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan's dreams were memories. Starting from the very beginning of knowing Kai. It had been so hard then. He had tried everything he could think of, twice, to get close to him and let him in. Nothing worked. Devan wanted to tell him about the magic then too, thinking it would help, his father said he couldn't. Devan had always been sort of upset about that.


That was when he got sick. Everyone was almost certain that he wasn't going to make it, but Devan was stubborn. He hadn't become friends with Kai yet. He wasn't going to stop. Once he was better, he spent hours watching Kai train. He'd never really been brilliant with a sword, but it was harder after he got sick. The illness affected his body and made him weaker, but it obviously didn't stop him.


Suddenly his cheek felt warm. He was confused. Then he heard Kai's voice, calling him. Slowly his eyes opened to look up at him. They were soft with tiredness, like they were whenever he woke up. It took him a moment to realize it was his turn to be on watch. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, but he still hadn't let go of Kai's hand. His hand was warm and he didn't want to let go. He would wait for Kai to do so first.

 

[Quatre Winner]

For his part, Kai was reluctant to let go of Devan's hand, though he did pull his fingers away from the prince's cheek. The knight still wasn't used to being able to touch him so freely, and in such a manner. Not that he wasn't eager to get used to such things, but Kai had a lifetime of being aloof to overcome. The change would only be toward his prince, anyway. Outside of Devan's company, no one would ever know.


"I am sorry to wake you, my prince, but I must sleep a little." His fingers were still closed around Devan's, though the other rested on the knight's thigh. In spite of his straight posture, he did look very tired. Devan might not realize that Kai had given him the larger portion of sleep, nor would the knight mention it to him. He just needed a little rest to be functional. For the moment, Kai was just making sure his prince was fully awake, and fighting the urge to stroke his face, and kiss his full lips. Kai wasn't sure he was ready for that, even if Devan was.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan realized this and could tell how much Kai needed it. It was written on his face, in his eyes. He moved enough so that Kai could lay down. After a brief stretch he was awake. He was more of a morning person than a night owl, so he was really easy to wake up. He liked that Kai still hadn't let go of his hand yet. It made his feel warm. Although his cheek now felt cold since Kai's hand left.


"Sweet dreams." He said softly. He always told Kai that before they went to bed. Even if it was just Devan going to bed. He was certain that everyone dreamed and he wanted them all to have nice ones. But he cared about Kai more and that was why he said it. Even if he had no idea what Kai would consider a 'sweet dream'.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai had been so used to hearing that phrase from the prince, but it had never struck him before as it did now. His eyes met Devan's, but their expression was mingled, as though he harbored a sea of emotions and didn't know what to do with them. This was not just a kind prince wishing one of his subjects to sleep pleasantly. Devan was his….lover? Was that the word?


Kai's confusion was of the pleasant kind, and he was too tired to figure himself out tonight, so he just gave a slight smile and brought the prince's hand to his lips. They brushed against Devan's soft fingers, then the back of his hand, then Kai had settled in with his eyes closed. He didn't let go of Devan's hand.


"Take care." the knight murmured, before slipping into the warm comfort of sleep. Either Devan's magic was able to make his wishes true, or Kai was having a particularly good night. Whatever the case, his dreams were filled with the beautiful prince. He hadn't wanted to fall asleep, partly because he didn't want to stop looking at Devan. Now he wondered why he worried so much. The prince was bounding to him through a field of flowers, his pink mouth open in a laugh, eyes twinkling with merriment.


"My wonderful knight! I have been waiting so long!" His voice was like music, and Kai felt his heart soar as Devan melted into his arms.


"I know...I'm sorry." Was Devan talking about waiting for him in the field, or because Kai had wasted so much time confessing his feelings?


"It doesn't matter." Devan leaned in, pressing his soft lips to the corner of Kai's mouth. "You're here, now."


Kai smiled, bringing him close. "Yes, I am here, now."


It was fortunate that Kai's dreams stayed fairly innocent all night, because he would have been mortified otherwise. Once every blue moon, he would talk in his sleep. Tonight, however, his dreams passed without any sound escaping his lips. The only way Devan would have known that Kai's dreams were good ones was that he had a soft smile on his face.