A Prince and His Knight

[Tinker Bell]

Devan nodded when Kai mentioned getting back to the creatures. He was honestly glad to. He had to think about the question. "Sometimes humans can, in a way, rent a magic user." He said. "While the strongest magic is done from the heart and for nothing in return, there are people that have been able to use magic for other things. Such as getting money to provide for their family, as it's still done from the heart in a way." He knew there were a lot of factors.


"So finding out if humans are actually behind this is going to be something we find out." Devan thought about it. "I think we need to see if these creatures can talk. If they can, we might be able to get the information we need out of them."

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai looked back at the fire again, his expression almost stern. Devan would know that he was only thinking, however. 'Stern' seemed to be his default face, much to the delight of the court ladies 9and some of the gentlemen), who liked their men stoic. Others found it intimidating, but Kai didn't care either way. Just so no one bothered him.


Right now, another silence had fallen between them as he tried to absorb and accept what he'd just learned. In spite of his calm demeanor, it wasn't an easy thing to do. To believe one thing your whole life, only to learn you've been completely wrong, would have been a severe blow to most minds. Kai only overcame it because, in the end, he decided what he thought didn't matter. And, if there were actual humans involved in this, he would not be so useless after all.


"We won't get any more information tonight." he said, finally breaking through the silence. "I suggest we try and get some sleep, then see what damage has been done in the morning, when their power isn't so great. Let's hope we can buy some horses in the next town…" Otherwise their progress would be too slow. Kai was not happy about their horses probably being killed and eaten, but there was nothing he could do about it.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan let the silence fall over them. Most people would find it difficult or awkward. However, Devan knew differently. He had just changed Kai's whole view of the world. Kai was allowed this time to think without being interrupted. Devan was willing to give however long it took.


Then Kai mentioned getting sleep. "Right." He nodded a bit. "I can take the first watch if you want me to." He said. Now more than before it was important to have one of them awake. In case those creatures came back.

 

[Quatre Winner]

"No, thank you, but I'll take the first watch." the knight said. His mind was too full to sleep now anyway.


Getting up from his chair, he went to the bed, which was still pushed up against the door. Its wooden frame was thick and heavy, and should hold against the bolted door. Taking the feather mattress off, as well as the pillows and blankets, wouldn't be making it much lighter, so he removed them and made a bed for the prince on the floor.


Only after he had done this did another thought occur to him. Looking up at the prince, his brows drawn together in thought, he asked, "Your highness, are there spells of protection? Shields? Anything like that?" He was thinking of armor, as that was how magic made sense to him. Perhaps there was some sort of magical armor they could put over themselves while either were sleeping, just in case.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan figured Kai would say that. Devan watched him move the mattress and pillows. Before he knew it, Kai was asking about protection spells. Devan looked down, a bit ashamed of himself.


"There are." He mumbled quietly. "I just can't remember the ones for small spaces. I'm trying to remember them, but I can't." He knew he knew them too. "The other ones have a wider range and that would mean possibly allowing a creature inside the barrier without knowing. It wouldn't help us."

 

[Quatre Winner]

A little bit of the old Kai returned at this, and he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "You can't remember them? And you didn't bring any scrolls or texts or anything to remind yourself?" This was so typical of the prince.


However, as there was no help for it, and Kai didn't want to continue in a negative vein, he let out a little sigh. This had the effect of pushing his ill mood away somewhat.


"Nevermind. I'm sure it'll come to you." The knight gestured to the mattress by the fire. "Get some sleep, your highness. I'll watch for enemies." They likely wouldn't attack that night anyway. Kai would keep the fire going, and let the candles burn down, just in case.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan couldn't help but feel horrible when Kai seemed annoyed at him. "There are no scrolls." He told him. "Not anymore. They've been lost to time. Everything I know is by mouth." He knew that he was trying as hard as he could, but he still felt like a failure. "I'm sorry, Kai." He mumbled. "I really am." He was trying as hard as he could.


Just knowing that it would be his fault if they were attacked again that night was awful. Devan didn't want that. He wanted to protect Kai like Kai had done so many times. Slowly he got up and moved to the mattress. Sleep didn't seem like an option. He had to remember any of the protection spells. Any one that could be helpful right now.


This was the only thing Devan could do. He also didn't want Kai upset at him. He was truly doing all he could. He ran through lesson after lesson and he never stopped. Going back to when he was five. Thirteen years of lessons with nothing but his memory to help him.

 

[Quatre Winner]

There it was again, that note of hurt in the prince's voice. It always made Kai feel guilty for being harsh, even if he felt he had to. In this case, there was no real reason other than that he was frustrated, so he just let out a sigh and tried to soften his voice.


"Don't be sorry. I know you're trying." He paused to frown at the fire. "I should not lose my temper; that is my fault." A fault he didn't like in himself, especially when it came to Devan.


Deep blue eyes turned from the dancing flames to watch Devan lie down. Kai could tell right away that the prince's mind was just as turbulent as his own. He could also guess why. Was there some reason no one ever tried to write these spells down on new scrolls? Was it too dangerous to put them in writing? For awhile, the knight watched Devan's lips move soundlessly as his unfocused eyes stared at the ceiling. He was trying to hard to remember; Kai could tell.


At length, the knight pushed off his chair and sat down by the mattress, placing a hand against the prince's neck. He wasn't sure how he'd missed Devan's shoulder, or why his thumb was brushing the prince's jaw, but he pretended it was on purpose.


"Rest, your highness. You will think better after you have slept."

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he had gone through several years worth of lessons. Every single one. He needed to remember. He needed to remember now. Then the mattress shifted.


This pulled Devan from his thoughts as he looked up at Kai. His face turned a soft pink at his touch and his heart sped up just a fraction. Kai told him to rest, but all Devan could do was shake his head.


"I can't sleep." He said. "Not until I remember." It was obvious this meant a lot to him. His eyes, that usually were filled with innocence and curiosity, were now filled with this need and total dedication to it. "I want to be able to protect you." His voice was quiet, almost just air moving. "Like you've protected me so many times." He added. He wasn't sure how Kai would take that, but he had to say it.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai bit back a retort, that it didn't matter if he remembered tonight because he'd wear himself out, that Kai didn't need to be protected…that was his job, to protect. Something in Devan's eyes stopped him, a hard edge the knight hadn't seen before. Noting it at that moment, he caught his breath, not sure what the thrill in his chest meant. Kai wasn't even sure he liked that feeling, so he buried it and shook his head.


"It's my duty to protect you, my prince." Devan probably wouldn't read between the lines of that statement, that it was also Kai's most important goal in life, his constant mission, one that went beyond the usual duties of a knight. To Kai, there was no greater deed he could do than to stand between his prince and those who would try to harm him.


Sighing, Kai murmured, "Sleep when you can, then." That was all the argument Devan would get, anyway. Kai didn't realize his hand was still against the prince's warm skin, feeling his pulse quicken a bit and not knowing why. The knight pulled his hand away after a moment, but stayed on the edge of the mattress, watching Devan with his dark, veiled eyes.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan figured Kai would say that. He was always talking about his duties towards the prince. It used to be annoying, but Devan got used to it. Sometimes it was even comforting to hear it, it made him feel safe. When Kai took his hand away, Devan sat up. He couldn't describe just what he was feeling. But he could at least say why he was so determined.


"And it's my duty to protect everyone." Kai was part of 'everyone'. Although Devan always thought of him as apart from it, now was when he needed to see him as a part of it. "I have never been able to do anything before." That was how he felt, sitting in the castle day after day, he never helped anyone. "And now I finally can."


He wasn't even sure if he was making any sense. His mind was more focused on still going through every lesson he'd ever learned. He was going through the ones from when he was seven when he seemed to freeze. He repeated his mother's words silently several times. She taught him about defense, his father taught him offense. "I...I think I have it." He said quietly.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Useless? Devan? Kai didn't even stop to question his next reaction; he opened his mouth and said what he thought. "You do many things, your highness, to help your people. There's more to a kingdom than weapons of war." He would have defended Devan's reputation against anyone else, and hearing the prince say he was useless, while not surprising, still cut Kai's heart like a knife. He could scarcely have hurt the knight more by insulting everything eh believed in, though coming from the prince it was a gentle kind of hurt. Devan was always so self effacing, whether he deserved it or not.


As the prince finally seemed to locate the memory he was looking for, the knight's dark eyes narrowed, but other than an increase of intensity he looked much as he ever did. Kai wasn't given to vast changes in expression. Only the prince would have noticed this change, if he hadn't been so focused. Unconsciously, Kai placed a hand against the prince's arm, almost as though Devan needed the contact or the remembered spell would fly away. Silently, he urged Devan to remember, to burn the words into his mind and heart so he would never forget. Only when the prince's whispered words broke the tense silence did Kai release his arm and breathe a little. He had seemed to think taking in oxygen too loudly would disrupt the prince's concentration.


"Is there a way to write it down?" he asked quietly. "Or must it stay in your mind?"

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan finally remembered all of the spell. Then Kai asked about writing it down. "It's in an ancient language." He told him. "I don't know how to read or write it. I only know how to say it." That was why they had never been written down. No one knew anymore.


He had liked the feeling of Kai's hand on his arm. Almost like a silent assurance. It took him a moment to remember exactly how to do this spell. He needed to touch whatever he wished to protect. If he touched nothing, he would just protect himself. So he reached out and took Kai's hand in his own. He said the words softly. It was the sort of old language that seemed to always sound familiar to those that heard it. Like a memory from a dream. There but not quite.


Then the air around them seemed to change. It felt lighter. He had protected Kai. Finally, for the first time in his life, he had done what Kai was always doing. It made him feel better. He just hoped that it was enough.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai figured there had to be some reason, but he still wondered if there was some phonetic means of getting the sounds down on parchment. At least Devan remembered it now, though would he remember it in the morning? Kai wasn't so sure, yet that look of determination in the prince's clear eyes was almost reassuring enough. Maybe it would work. Maybe…


Kai was brought out of his thoughts by something that both surprised and unnerved him a little. Not the feeling of a hand clasping his own very gently, but his own reaction to that little bit of contact. As the warmth of Devan's skin enveloped his, it seemed to spread upward from there to his chest, and even his cheeks. Only the faintest blush showed under his skin, and may not have been noticeable in the firelight, but Kai hadn't expected a simple meeting of hands to even do that much. The knight found himself unable to look at the prince, lest Devan see what he suddenly felt.


Kai tried to convince himself it was the magic. The strangely familiar words flowed through him, brushing his mind in a way that reminded him of his earliest memories, or the remnants of a dream he couldn't remember. The knight blinked with surprise to feel this, but didn't look at the prince for several minutes. He was more intent now to deny that he felt anything beyond the magic, just as he had once been so stubborn about denying magic at all. It was a strange turn of events.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan looked up at Kai once he did it. He tried to see if Kai felt anything. It would be a sign that it really worked. However, the firelight didn't give him much to see with. This was why he hated fire. After a few moments, Devan realized something was off with Kai. Something had changed but he didn't know what. Not being able to figure it out, Devan rested against Kai, his head on the knight's shoulder.


His eyes closed slowly as he fell asleep the same way. He still held Kai's hand, but now it was more for reassurance that he wasn't alone. It was clear by how he was still holding on in his sleep that he didn't want Kai to leave his side. He never wanted Kai to leave him. He wasn't sure exactly how he felt about the knight he trusted more than anyone, but he was starting to figure it out and it sort of scared him. A lot.


There was no way that Kai could love him back, could there? He always seemed like he wasn't one for those emotions. While Devan tried not to judge someone, it was hard to think that this wasn't going to happen because Devan would never be able to tell Kai how he felt.

 

[Quatre Winner]

(OMG, apparently NOW I can get into rpnation! *grrrr* It was down all night last night! Anyway, I will now be replying to your post. Sorry for the wait!)

 

[Tinker Bell]

((It was like that for me too...annoying))

 

[Quatre Winner]

Never able to help how he reacted to physical contact that didn't involve intense training, Kai went very still under the small weight of that head on his shoulder. The strange thing was that Devan resting there like that almost seemed natural, but Kai couldn't figure out how that could be. Devan, the crown prince of Freiden, should not be so cozy with a lowly knight like himself.


In spite of how he treated Devan when the prince was being forgetful, or less-than impressive in handling weapons, Kai still thought himself unworthy of such a wonderful, beautiful creature. Silently, he berated himself for letting the prince lean against him like this, instead of laying him back down immediately. Yet, Kai couldn't seem to help wanting Devan's weight against him, and the warm little hand clutching his own. He knew Devan didn't mean anything by it but innocent friendship, which was why his knight held onto the moment until it turned into several moments.


At the same time, however, Kai was unsure of his own feelings toward the prince, or even if this sudden need for physical contact was due to magic. Why was he now entertaining such thoughts, when he never allowed it before? Not to such an extent, anyway. Even the stoic knight had some daydreams left in him. But that was all they amounted to, and they should never be indulged. Devan was going to find and marry a Queen he could love, and it would not have occurred to the knight to stand in their way. In truth, that was the only reason he did not feel more fear of his own emotions and latent desires. The mere fact that they were, to him, an impossible, one-sided thing actually protected him in a twisted way. Had there been any chance of a return, he might have been forced to confront what he felt and thought, rather than pretending it didn't exist.


Only for a little span of time in that warm, dimly lit room, did he allow himself to think wonderingly of how good it felt to have someone close, when that someone was Devan. But Kai knew his duty, too. He had to be ready in case they were attacked again, which meant being absolutely alert and ready…which meant not letting his emotions run off with his brain. It wasn't like the knight actually understood exactly what he felt or thought. That was a debate for a later time.


With great reluctance, Kai shifted the prince in his arms, guiding him back down onto the mattress on the floor and covering him with the blankets so that he would be warm. The only real problem with this was that, even in sleep, Devan didn't seem to want to let go of his hand, and the knight was conflicted enough that he didn't just pull it away at once.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan, very much a light sleeper, felt himself being shifted. Lowered. The blankets felt cold compared to Kai. Although he could still feel his hand wrapped around Kai's. it made his feel better. He hadn't meant to distract him. But Devan felt fully confident in the fact that he had a protection barrier around Kai. It made things easier.


It made him subconsciously okay with holding onto his hand a bit tighter. He didn't want to ever let go. Part of him wished he could read Kai better. If he could, maybe he wouldn't be so afraid of liking him. Kai even filled his dreams. He had a habit of sometimes talking in his sleep, mostly nonsensical babble that held no value. Sometimes it was real things though. Like tonight.


"Kai." Devan's voice was soft, still very clearly asleep. He shifted a bit on the mattress before mumbling something else. "Love..." It seemed like he was going to say other stuff, but his voice trailed off. If one was good at deciphering his sleeping face, plus the babble, it was a fairly good dream.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai sat back a bit, frowning thoughtfully down at the sleeping face of his prince. Even his usually stoic face showed clear signs of confusion and worry, which Devan would have recognized. Strangely, the knight seemed almost as reluctant to let go of that warm little hand as Devan was to part with his. After several moments, in which the prince's grip only seemed to grown stronger, Kai had to admit defeat. If he was secretly glad to have the excuse, he wouldn't even admit it to himself.


Being careful not to further disturb the prince, Kai shifted into a more comfortable position, and reassembled his thoughts while his emotions started to bury themselves again. Though both eyes remained on Devan's sleeping form, for awhile the knight's gaze was somewhat unfocused as he pondered everything he'd learned that day. He still wasn't entirely convinced this was not some kind of weird dream, from which he would wake with the memory of Devan's soft hair tickling his chin.


For a very long while, there was silence in the room, with only the crackling of the fire, and Devan's light snoring, to keep Kai's mind in the present. When the fire started to die, he reached over and tossed another log on, not letting go of Devan's hand even though he had to stretch in a slightly ridiculous manner. Kai was just starting to poke it back into its full glory when he heard that familiar voice behind him, calling his name. Thinking the prince had woken up, Kai turned to ask what he wanted, just in time to hear the second word slip from his slightly parted lips.


The knight froze, his heart beat skipping around a little. Devan was clearly asleep, yet he'd just said…. At least, Kai could have sworn he said… 'love'. It was a darn good thing Devan wasn't awake right now, because for a moment Kai's inner floodgates burst open, and he had to fight the thoughts and wild suppositions that leaped into his mind. That, and the deep blush that darkened Kai's cheeks, spreading to his ears and his chest. Devan still had his hand, and even though Kai suddenly wanted to pull away, he found he couldn't bear to wake the prince by doing so. Part of him even wanted to know what Devan was dreaming of, though the more sensible part of his mind squawked that it would be very unwise, not to mention what the prince dreamed was none of his damn business. Even so, the knight leaned over Devan with wide eyes, wondering if he would say any more, and feeling a mix of conflicting emotions about it.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan rolled over at some point, trying to get comfortable. It wasn't working. No matter which way he laid, something just didn't feel right. Finally his body followed his arm and he moved closer to Kai. Close enough to feel his warmth again. "Kai..." His sleeping words sounded happy in their tired way. Devan liked being close to Kai, even in his sleep apparently.


His dream seemed to be on and endless loop. He wished it wasn't just a dream, but even asleep he knew there was no way his stone-like knight would ever feel the same way. It hurt to think that he would probably only hear those words in his dreams. He wished he could hear then for real.


"Mmmm...love...you..." Devan seemed to shift closer again. His face turned red, even in sleep, as the mumbled words left his lips. The dream went on. It had a perfect happy ending. Of course it would, it was a dream.

 

[Quatre Winner]

A thrill rushed through Kai's body at his name, spoken in sleep by the prince. It was useless trying to pretend he wasn't clinging to the prince's hand now, or the hope that he would hear Devan say his name again. Kai longed to know what the prince was dreaming, and why he said his knight's name in such a way. Curiosity burned in his chest and stomach, even if there was no real way to get answers. Had Devan been awake, Kai would never have indulged himself to such an extent. Yet here in the warm, quiet room, with Devan's fingers curled around his, a little smile on his lips, Kai felt his reserve slacken, and he recognized the emotions and thoughts he'd buried for so long as they rushed to the fore with startling ease. The knight had thought such things buried so deeply they could never get out.


Silently, he looked with wonder at Devan's sleeping face, wondering if he was in a dream himself. Those soft cheeks flushed with pink, the full lips and silky hair practically begged to be touched. He never would have entertained such desires in the light of day, or even at night when he was back at court. Now, Kai seemed unable to help staring. Without realizing it, his free hand had already reached toward the soft strands of the prince's tousled hair. He didn't even notice until his fingers were already combing through them, and the knight looked at his hand in astonishment, as though it had acted without his knowledge. Yet, he didn't pull back until, ironically, the prince murmured those soft words in his sleep.


'Love you….'


In that moment, a dose of reality hit him like cold water. Kai pulled away, shaking his head vigorously, his face going from wondering to grim in a split-second. Only his hand remained in teh prince's grip because Devan wouldn't let go, but every other part of Kai's mind and body seemed to be as it had always been. He even growled low at himself for letting the fire and all their talk of magic get to him. It was stupid, willfully stupid, to think that the prince's dreams meant anything. Even if he was speaking to the knight in his dreams, they were not real. They couldn't be. Kai turned to the fire, disgusted at himself.

 

[Tinker Bell]

It had seemed as if Devan had relaxed further when he felt Kai's fingers run through his hair. It felt nice. However they were gone too soon. His body lay still a few moments, as if waiting for the soft touch to return. When it didn't, Devan rolled onto his side, as if trying to find the soothing touch. His hand still clung to Kai's, he wasn't going to let him go.


His face shifted as his good dreamed changed. His mumbling became incoherent, but almost urgent. He kept turning on different sides, never once letting go of the hand that seemed to make everything better. The dream got worse and worse. It was almost like Devan could sense the change in Kai and his dreams reflected it. He wanted this to stop. At some point, the babbling was back to almost coherent, not that the words seemed to make sense. "...Kai..." His voice sounded desperate as he rolled onto his side, closer to the knight sitting there. He didn't like this dream. Not one bit did he like this. Why couldn't his dreams be good again.


"Kai..." The mumbles going to the sadder side. Even moving closer to him hadn't helped ease the images in his head. Suddenly the prince sat up, his eyes scared and unfocused. It took him a moment to remember where he was and that Kai was still holding his hand. He looked up at the knight, trying to find any signs of the nightmare having been real.


Nothing. There were only signs that he was physically okay. Devan hadn't been able to process the emotions in Kai's face, but at the moment he didn't care. He hugged Kai tightly, trying to stop any tears from falling. It had just been a dream. Or it could have been a vision of the future. Devan hoped it was the former. He hoped with all his heart it was the former.

 

[Quatre Winner]

Kai had been trying to compartmentalize again, to put away childish desires in favor of their mission. Thinking of tactics was a good way to get the mind off of other things. Even with the prince's hand clutching his own he'd mostly succeeded after a little while.


However, as he started to become truly lost in thought, Devan's muttering and thrashing caught his attention. At first, Kai just watched, sitting very still on the mattress, and waited for the bad dream to pass. Sometimes these things were fleeting, and it was better not to wake the sleeper up. But then, the prince was calling his name, and Kai decided he might need to wake after all.


Grasping Devan's shoulder with his free hand, Kai began to shake him gently and call his name, wincing at how hard Devan was squeezing the other one. The prince had his hand in a vice-grip, and wherever he turned, Kai had to bend over him. The knight shook his prince again, harder, calling out his name. Why was the prince calling for him? There was such a look of fear in Devan's staring eyes as he finally woke, and Kai's heart twisted to see it.


Placing a hand against Devan's cheek, moving his head so their eyes would meet, Kai leaned in close to him, his face lined with concern. The next moment, he was surprised to find himself being embraced so hard. The prince's slim arms shook around his torso- that wasn't a good sign, but at least he was awake. Kei stroked his hair a bit, frowning down at the bowed head pushing against his chest.


"Devan?"

 

[Tinker Bell]

Devan managed to slowly calm down. Only because Kai was alright. His eyes stayed open the entire time. He was afraid that if he shut them, he'd find out that this was the dream and the nightmare was real.


Then Kai spoke, drawing Devan into reality once more. Devan pulled away enough to look into Kai's eyes. "I'm sorry." He mumbled quietly. The dream had still lingered in his mind.


"I-It was so real." His voice shook just a bit. "I thought, I thought I lost you." He didn't care how it sounded, Kai was too important for him to lose. "The dream, they got you and I couldn't do anything." He had just kept talking without even thinking about it. "I saw you...I saw you..." He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. He couldn't say it.


"Promise me you'll stay by my side forever?" Devan needed to hear him say it. At the moment he didn't care if Kai just said it because he asked. "Promise me we'll both make it back okay?"