A Heartfelt Search

[Jay Windse]

Castiel shook his head. "Really." He said, shifting slightly and looking at the hunter. He met his gaze for a half second then glanced away.


Sam glared at Gabriel. He wanted to break that fucking finger. He growled and stalked from the archangel, running a hand through his long chestnut hair.

 

[AStarorTwo]

Sighing in defeat, the hunter nodded, "Alright." Focusing his gaze on his shoes, Dean wondered if there was anything he should do...that wasn't horribly over the line. There was something in the air that bothered the green-eyed man, and he didn't know what it was. It happened every time he and Cas were in the same room, Sam noticed it too.


The thought of his brother made Dean's stomach feel at unease. They needed to find him soon.


"I'm sure you'll see the answer soon, kiddo. It's kinda obvious sometimes, and other times...it's not!" the archangel chimed, watching Sam's retreating back in satisfaction.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel could almost feel Dean's unease. He tilted his head and sighed. "Dean, I..." He trailed off on his sentence, and swallowed.


Sam hated Gabriel more than ever. Why couldn't he just go home? That's all he wanted. He didn't want to sit here and longer with Gabriel staring at him like a-


Sam turned around and furrowed his brows as he looked at Gabriel. "Like a moony teenage girl." He muttered under his breath.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Raising a brow, the hunter wondered, "Yeah?"


Hearing clearly what Sam had said, Gabriel scoffed and muttered in reply, "Being moony is my style."

 

[Jay Windse]

"I..I can't help but notice that when you're alone with me...You seem to never know what to say. How to act. A-And maybe that's just me, and it's probably insane, knowing you, but it just seems so. I-I was wondering as to why, I-if you did, you acted this way, and only around me?" Castiel's words didn't flow from his mouth, as they usually did, and the angel stammered. A dark blush colored his cheeks and accentuated his bright blue eyes even more.


Sam huffed a laugh. "W-Why me?" He asked.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Dean sighed, knowing this was going to happen sooner or later, a dark blush also creeping along his cheeks, making the freckles brushed along them pop out even more.


Over the journey of their friendship and knowing each other, starting with the angel pulling Dean from Hell, the hunter started to notice...things about his companion. Like, the how impossibly blue Cas' eyes were, how adorably awkward he could be, or even when everything was screwed up and damned, the blue-eyed angel was always there for Dean. Always.


But, of course, the rugged hunter would almost never be able to put this all into words. So he did it in one action.


Closing his eyes and knowing this would never work, Dean slowly leaned in, mouth pursed, before touching the angel's.


Not being able to help but smile at Sam's huffed laughter, Gabriel shrugged, "Don't know whatcha mean, Sam."

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel didn't know what Dean was doing, was thinking, for once. At least, that was, until Dean did it. The angel was shocked to say the very least, and he didn't know what to do. He blinked, and slowly came to relax just a bit against the hunter, mouth gently pressing against Dean's. He felt his heart pound inside his chest, and slowly Castiel's hand rose to rest against the hunter's jaw.


Sam set his jaw. "You know exactly what I mean, you son of a bitch." He growled, hazel eyes blazing.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Dean's heart started to pound, and it wasn't until he felt Cas' hand on his jaw that he realized what he was doing.


He was kissing Cas.


He was kissing Cas.


Pulling away immediately, face hot and green eyes dilated, the hunter sucked in a breath, before getting up and running from the room. Anywhere to get afar from what he had just done.


"Quit being all mysterious, kiddo. I seriously have no idea whatcha mean," the archangel replied, trying his best to dance around the situation/conversation at hand. The last he needed at the moment, was for Sam to get him to say it aloud.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel blinked and watched Dean go before looking away. He knew that was way too good to be true. He knew it.


He shouldn't have gone through with it in the first place. He should've known.


The angel pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in them, only his dark hair showing. He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes and turning his head.


He tried to forget. He tried to forget the way Dean had just done it. The way the hunter's lips felt against his own. How his lips now tasted of him. He couldn't forget. He couldn't.


The angel curled up and suddenly felt small droplets fall to his lap, and he blinked, eyes suddenly blurry.


He was crying.


"You really believe I'm stupid?" Sam laughed and stepped closer to Gabriel. He could half see the nervousness in his golden eyes.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Standing outside of Bobby's house, sitting on the porch steps for the first time since he was a kid and John had dropped them off for an entire summer and a few, Dean ran a hand through his spiked, dark blond hair. And then all his feelings came crashing on.


The way Cas' lips felt against his own, fitting together like a pieces of a puzzle. Icy-blue eyes looking into his own, and so otherworldly that Dean felt he could swim in them. How warm and safe he felt in those moments, that he was on top of the world and it was his bitch.


He wanted to feel it all over again.


But he couldn't...he screwed it up by leaving.


And so, sitting on the wooden steps, autumn leaves flying by him, colors vibrant and bright, the hunter seemed the opposite.


Gabriel waved a hand, "Nah. You're pretty clever, Sammoose. One of the reasons why I like ya so much, more than your brother Dean-o."

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel didn't care anymore. He sniffled slightly and pressed his face to his knees. He let himself cry, and curled up tighter.


Castiel cried for only a few minutes, then managed to pull himself together, wiping at his face and wincing at the pain in his swollen eyes when he ran the heels of his hands over them. He ran his hands through his hair over again, and stared at the wall, playing those moments in his head on replay.


Sam raised a brow. He was getting somewhere. "Uh huh." He nodded slowly.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Staring absently at an old oak tree covered in changing leaves, occasionally letting a few go to be carried by the wind, Dean muttered absent curses to himself. "I'm a friggin' idiot, should've never done that."


Eventually Dean would have to go back in there and face the consequences of his actions, but not right now.


"And that's it," Gabriel said plainly. There was no way in hell Sam was going to get anymore hints than that.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel's blue eyes had turned from a bright icy blue to a deep and crystalline blue. He sighed and closed his eyes again, resting his forehead against his knees. He let out a show breath. He couldn't get the moment from his mind for the life of him.


Sam scoffed. "Doubt it!" He sang, turning and walking away.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Breathing deeply and slowly, Dean stood up from the steps and headed back inside, avoiding the suspicious looks from Bobby. Going upstairs, boots thudding against the wood, the hunter cursed everything he had done in the last hour.


Standing in the doorway, and seeing Cas curled up, knees against his forehead, Dean felt his heart drop. He felt horrible for making Cas like this...and...did the angel cry?


"Hey...Cas." Dean murmured, almost so quietly you wouldn't have heard it.


Feeling ever so slightly nervous all of a sudden, Gabriel kept his cool and devoted his attention to the way Sam's hips moved as he walked and also the curve of his ass. Hey, can't blame the archangel for looking.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel looked up at Dean, shocked he'd even come back, and so soon. He blinked slightly. "Dean." He responded, voice hoarse and cracked from his tears. He pulled his knees down quickly and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He straightened himself and sighed, wiping at his face again.


His dark hair was a mess, worse than usual, and his deep crystalline blue gaze focused on the hunter, though not directly on his gaze as he usually did.


Sam sighed and once more ran his hand through his long hair, setting his weight on one hip and closing his eyes.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Frowning and expression growing concerned at Cas' hoarse voice and the general state of the angel, Dean stepped a bit closer, "Look...Cas, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just don't know what came over me..." The hunter rubbed the nape of his neck, feeling small and vulnerable after those words, something the green-eyed man did not like.


Quit teasing me here, Gabriel thought as he saw Sam settle his weight on one hip, making it cocked. The archangel wondered why he hadn't just kidnapped Dean, since it'd make this whole "pining" thing a thousand times easier, since the golden-eyed man wasn't too attached to the older Winchester, unlike his brother.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel stood up and looked at Dean, and he sighed. "You're sorry for that?" He asked quietly, deep blue eyes flashing over with hurt. He glanced away from Dean's gaze, only half noticing his concern.


Sam sighed and ran his hand over his face, and then growled in annoyance.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

"Uh...yeah, I-I didn't think you liked it," Dean answered, looking around the room, green eyes avoiding the trenchcoat-clad angel standing before him.


Putting a hand to his ear and grinning impishly, Gabriel asked, "Something the matter?"

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel looked down, and whispered, "O-Oh." He sighed and breathed in deep before saying even softer, "I-I-I did." He stumbled more than once over his words.


"Absolutely not." Sam grinned, and laughed at his own joke. Of course something was the matter. He was locked away with this bastard.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Expression softening and mouth turning slightly into a smile at the angel's stumbling of words, Dean took a step closer to Cas, feeling light and airy for the first time in forever. Their feelings were mutual. Shared. Welcomed.


So, feeling brave and daring, the hunter took Cas' hands in his own, and closed his eyes, leaning, hoping to make up for his mistake of leaving in the first place.


And it wasn't until their lips met that Dean felt sparks soar.


"I thought so. After all, I know you'd miss me if I decided to let ya go," Gabriel replied, ignoring Sam's personal joke.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel looked up at Dean as he got closer to the angel, and immediately his heart raced simply at Dean being so close. But then Castiel's lips pressed ever so softly against the hunter's. He felt the sparks too, and he could have sworn that they were real.


"But of course I would." Sam muttered to himself, rolling his hazel eyes.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

Letting go of Cas' hands, Dean ran them lightly through the dark hair, wanting to touch it for ages. It felt smooth, and feathery, like the wings the angel adorned so powerfully. The hunter vaguely wondered if they were showing right now, maybe even curling around the two of them.


A pleasant buzzing flooded the dark-blond's mind, and he smiled behind the kiss as it continued, slow and aching.


Sauntering over and standing in front of Sam, Gabriel said, "See? I knew you'd warm up to me."

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel gasped slightly against Dean's lips at the touch in his hair. A rush filled him, and in doing so, he felt said wings unfold suddenly. A soft whoosh followed the movement, and Castiel felt one of his wings curling around the hunter and the other spreading out behind him.


Castiel felt himself blush at his wings moving, but had no intention of breaking away from the hunter.


Sam gave Gabriel a fake smile. He told himself to fake it. Just fake it.


»JW

 

[AStarorTwo]

An electric shudder ran through Dean, and at feeling an ebony wing curl around him and Castiel, the hunter felt on top of the world once more. With an angel at his side. An impossibly beautiful, wonderful angel that managed to steal his stony, sheltered heart. It seemed the blue-eyed man was truly capable of more and more things.


"I can tell a fake smile a mile away, Sam. I might be pretty, but I'm not dumb," the archangel retorted. Honestly, hunters were getting more and more full of themselves and their wit as time passed.

 

[Jay Windse]

Castiel shivered and he pulled away from the hunter as soon as his lungs protested and he couldn't hold his breath any longer. He breathed out softly and in deeply, fingertips touching Dean's jawline. His blue eyes blinked open, brighter than they'd ever been.


"You're not pretty.' Sam spat, glaring at the archangel. He looked disgusted at even seeing him, and he was.


»JW