A Brain In Chains [Inactive]

Kapricious

Kapricious

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Lorelei Phantomhive submitted a new role play:


A Brain In Chains - In a land not so far away, there lies a rehabilitation facility for teens just like you.

"Dear Diary,
It stung me today. They always wonder why I capitalize 'It'. They always say 'what do you mean? Tell us, explain, we can help you.' But they can't. It stung me with the truth today-- that I'll always be this way, trapped inside a pad of paper and barely able to let the words struggle forth with the weakness of a pen, that my brain will always hold dark corners of nothing that I spend so much time trying to explore and clean. I want to get better, I do.


Writing this feels...
Click to expand...
Read more about this role play...
 
(Im hoping im not outta line posting right now you did say tomorrow...)


Emily Ava looked up from her nails as the car came to a stop. At that point, everyone on the car looked towards the new, nice looking building. Her mother reached down to touch Emily Ava's hand, which she retracted quickly.


"We could have fixed this if you had told us..." her dad said.


"Can we just go in now?" Emily ava asked impatiently.


To that they nodded and wordlessly everyone exited the car. Her and her mom went to the trunk to got her bags. Before giving her her bag though, her mom went through the pockets and found a small bottle of whiskey, a big-ish bottle of vodka, and 2 bags of cheap weed. Emily ava's mom lokked at her with much sadness. After that ordeal the three walked into the building and stood waiting at the reception desk.


"Helo?" Her dad asked to nobody.
 
((No, it's fine! I'll be putting up a 'schedule' for all of us soon, so please look for that next. Btw, I usually write in first-person but I'm trying out third person just to see if I can do it. Bear with me if it's not that great. To start with, you guys can all just get settled in your rooms, meet some people, etc. Then I'll start being strict :) ))


Quinn:


"We're doing this because we love you, and we want you to get better. Please don't hate us." The boy in the passenger seat is silent, but only because he doesn't have anything to say. If they loved Quinn, they would leave him alone, to do what makes him happy and keeps him sane. At least they didn't burn his books. Right now, they're meticulously stacked in a duffel bag. The only thing that's on his mind right now is the worry that there won't be enough shelf space for them all.


He gets out without a word, and his mother follows. She's never understood bibliomania. She thought it was just a made-up condition for the therapist to squeeze more money out of her, but now, after The Incident, she believes. Quinn needs help, and soon. If this doesn't work...


Quinn motions for his mom to hurry up, and lugs the duffel bag of books over his shoulder with a quiet grunt. The pair walk into the building with a tense silence between them. He leans against the desk, avoiding eye contact with the other kids while his mother started the process of checking him in.
 
"Wake up, Noah. We're almost there." Noah's dad announced.


Noah didn't respond immediately, already awake although his eyes remained closed. In a vain attempt to escape fromwhat was happening he had closed his eyes as soon as the drive started. No matter how hard he tried there was nothinghe could do to get his mind off of the inevitable;


he was being dropped off in a strange place with srange people.


He felt the car slow and stop in the parking lot. Now forced to acknowledge the situation, his fears instantly came back full force. He straightened from where he sat in the backseat, heart rate starting to increase as he glanced at the facility and noticed that a few people were walking inside.


Oh god, he didn't want to see these new people. What would they think of him? Would they criticize him? Think that he's strange? Would they get annoyed with--


"I've got your bags." Noah's dad's voice temporarily broke into his thoughts. The car door opened, revealing his muscular father, who noticed his son's fidgeting hands and wary eyes. "You're almost an adult son, you don't have to be so afraid." Truly he meant it to sound encouraging, but instead it ended up more like a reprimand.


His dad sighed as Noah reluctantly got out the car. This was why he was sending him here; he simply didn't know how to handle him and his Avoidant Personality Disorder. They started walking toward the entrance, Noah so close to his father that their arms were almost brushing. He never allowed himself this close to his father before; it showed how afraid the teen really was.


Once inside they headed over to the check in. The entire time Noah kept his eyes to the ground, trying to focus on anything but his surroundings.
 
(Alright.)


Emily looked around, these people were seriously terrified. She wasn't scared though, she was angry.


When her mom got done signing things she dropped her pen and started rubbing Emily's shoulders, who shoved her off harshly. Emily ava picked up her bags and followed a lady who said that she would take her to room. She didnt say goodbye to her parents.


Her room was a boring college-looking dorm. Emily ava immediately pulled out photos, posters, sticky tack, and a small cork board. She spent a while putting them up and shoving her clothes into drawers. She pulled out a small flask her mom missed in her search and went to the common room so she wouldnt be alone in a new place (a trigger of hers.)
 
Quinn:


Quinn gently lowers his bag to the ground. They're in perfect condition and he intends to keep them that way. You take care of your friends, and these books are his friends, his only friends. They understand him, they make him laugh, they make him cry, and they make him feel whole inside. Reality is for the birds-- living inside his head is much better. Quinn lifts his head for just a moment. There's girls and boys there, all in varying degrees of crazy, but what worries him is that he doesn't really notice the females. He can't be.... like that. It's wrong. That's what his parents say, anyways. Quinn doesn't want to even think of the g-word, but his distress is increasing as he realizes that therapy might bring up some feelings he's trying very hard to bury. A few other males catch his eye but he pushes it down, reaching instead for a paperback he stuffed into the pouch of his sweatshirt. He had just barely opened it when his mother snatches it out of his hands. A cry of protest leaps out of his throat but he quickly clamps his mouth shut and looks back down at his shoes, tears stinging his eyes although he tries to blink them away in vain.
 
Kayla lifted her bag out of the back seat, he foster parents remained in the car, only her mother seemed to care about what was happening. Her father remained stern faced and looking forward. Her mother smiled at her and took her hand, giving them a gentle squeeze, "Everything is going to be alright darling." Her voice was comforting. Just about the only comforting about her foster home. In some ways she was happy to be out of there, to be away from her so called siblings calling her crazy at just about every family meal, and even though her father didn't say it out loud, she knew he thought it too. "I hope so..." Her voice trailed off as she let go of her mothers hands and made her way inside.


There was a line already starting to form for the kids being admitted that day. She felt a hand on her shoulder, it was her mothers, but she just shrugged it off. For as much as she liked this foster mom, she was angry and disappointing with her. "Why does she think this will fix, it's not like anything else has." She thought to herself.


One girl in line stormed off as the line began to shorten. When it was their turn Kayla just took in her surroundings, analyzing the faces of the other people here. Her mothers voice broke her concentration, "Hunny? This nurse is going to take you to your room." Her mother opened her arms up for a hug. "Yeah okay. Whatever, guess I'll see you whenever." She spun around giving her mom a small salute goodbye.


The nurse lead her to a sterile looking all white room, and she proceeded to throw her bad onto the the bed and plopped down next to it. "Guess this is it. Whoop de freaking do."




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Alex laid back on his bed, he looked over at the empty bed beside him. The bed had been empty for the past 4 days, he found this strange, normally he facility would be in a haste to fill rooms with only one occupant. He had a feeling that today was going to be the day that they bed would finally be filled. Swinging his feet over the bed onto the floor he made his way to the door, but never stepping outside of the door frame. The long echoing hallway was much to open for his taste, he preferred the small confines of his room.


He looked both ways down the hall, there was no sign of the newest additions coming his way. So he drifted back into his room and looked out the window into the court yard. He enjoyed the way the outside world looked, he often found himself lost in his own though imagining what the sun would feel like when it would hit his skin. What it would feel like to be able to stand in the courtyard without becoming panicky. He wanted all this so terribly bad, but his mind wouldn't let him break free.
 
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Xavier looked up at the large building and his new prison for the year. He sighed and hefted his small duffle bag of things over his shoulder, slamming the trunk and hitting it with the palm of his hand twice, signaling the taxi to drive away. It did, and Xavier stuck a hand in his pocket before trudging up towards the front doors. He tried to ignore all the other kids and their sappy goodbyes with family, focusing instead on the massive building. It wasn't that he was jealous of the other kids, per say, just that it made him upset that he didn't have much of his own family.


'Yeah, and your old grandma didn't even bother to say goodbye. Just stuck you on a plane and ordered a taxi,' a mean voice laughed and automatically Xavier visibly deflated, glancing to to his right. Sure enough, a boy a little older than himself and almost a mirror image walked along beside Xavier like he owned the place. "Go away right now," Xavier hissed quietly, hoping that no one else would hear him address his "friend". Honestly he had expected not to have any incidents before he got settled, but at least nothing had happened on the plane. 'That would have been bad,' Xavier thought and pushed through the doors, weaving through the crowd of other teenagers and following a crude map to his room.


Half an hour later, filled with Xavier loosing his map, going in probably ten different circles, and restraining himself from snapping at his "friend" that was constantly berating and making fun of him, Xavier found his room and threw his duffle in a corner. He closed the door rather harshly behind him and laid on his bed, closing his eyes and placing the pillow over his face. "This is gonna be a long year," he groaned, frowning even more at the cruel laughter that seemed to bounce around the room.
 
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((Hey yistae, this isn't a big deal but this isn't really a school, it's more like a mental hospital only with classes for teenagers. Just wanted to make sure there's no confusion in the future :) ))
 
Kayla made herself comfortable in her room, taking only a few of her essential belongings from her bag; her books. She had been through this multiple time before from being shuffled around from foster home to foster home. Dropping her bag on the floor she kicked it under the bed. She took another glance around the room, noticing that there were a few things set up on the other side of the room. "Oh great just what I need. A roommate." She let out a long groan the grabbed her favorite book, Catcher and the Rye, and proceeded to walk out and find her way to the common room.


There were a couple others in the common room but she didn't care, she just analyzed the room taking in all the small details. There was on open seat in the corner, just as she liked. She quickly grabbed the seat, and hunkered down to read her book.
 
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Emily ava, who was sitting it the back, scanned the room for someone to share a conversation. Then she saw a girl come in with purple hair who looked pretty cool. So she strolled over, flourished her flask and asked,


"Want any?"
 
Kai came alone here. He didn't enjoy the company of his parents much and its not like he is an idiot. He sauntered in with his bag which had his clothes (including gym ones), his mp3 player, some standard books (Brave New World by Huxley etc.) and...that's about it. These days there just ins't anything that fills the void he lost that day.


Kai sighed and let his face relax, putting on his emotionless, calm and just a tad sarcastic face before walking in. He went up to the counter: "Kai Anthony. Supposed to be here. No idea where to go. Got any pointers?", he talked flatly and monotone, clearly not wanting to engage in chit-chat. He was pointed to his room with some simple instructions. He flatly ignored any on-comers, looking ahead in line with his straight eye level.


Upon entering the room, he unpacked his bag. He placed the few books on a shelf, his phone and mp3 player on the mini desk next to the bed, plugging the mini stereo speaker to the mp3 player. It looked like a ghost from pacman. It was also one of the only presents he got from Alyssa, his last memory of her....


[No...snap out of it...Noooo....GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD STANLEY YOU DIPSHI-]*wham* Kai punched his bag, needing something to hit to distract his mind. Falling into a pit is not a good bloody idea.


He put some music on, removed his shirt, showing his knotted muscle and multiple scarring. Kai then fell onto the bed and lay there for a while.
 
Kayla saw the blonde in the opposing corner heading her way out of the corner of her eye. She held out a flask and inquired if she wanted any, "No, I don't drink." She said flatly and went back to her book.


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Alex could hear the new arrivals outside his door, he glanced over and saw a few walking by. They looked fairly normal and nice to him. He yearned for the chance to be friends with them, but the daunting open space of the hallway hindered him from attempting. He tried to reserve is energy for the times when he needed to step outside the comfort of his room.


The more he looked out the door the more courage he mustered up. Rising to his feet he made his was to the door, arms crossed and clenching his stomach. He slowly put one foot outside of the door frame and then the other. He suddenly started to feel clammy and could feel the anxiety coming over him. He turned and ran back into his room.
 
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"Okay well i do. But don't tell anyone ive got this." Emily ava said as she took a largr swig. "Emily Ava, by the way. Panic attacks, this stuff helps. What are you in here for?" She said quickly, sitting on the table tucking her flask into one of her jackets.
 
"Hm." She said giving a fake smile, "Kayla, anorexia, insomnia, panic attacks, tonitrophobia and somniphobia." Her tone was flat and went back to her book. She was never very good at socializing with people.
 
Quinn:


So fast he barely realizes what is happening, his mother is kissing his cheek and striding out the door. She looks like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders-- is Quinn that weight? Is Quinn what puts the worry lines in her forehead? His anomalies are that huge? He shuts his eyes tight. Breathes out. In. Out. In. When he's confident he won't burst into tears like a baby, he listens to a nurse for directions to his room and trudges to it with heavy footsteps. He tries to shut his door when he gets there, but as soon as he does, a nurse tugs it open with a disapproving frown. Another rule. Of course. He sighs out heavily and starts unpacking his books, stacking them under the bed when he runs out of space on the shelves. Eventually, he has to put them in neat piles on the floor.
 
A glistening black Mercedes pulls into the parking lot of the institute, the loud yelling and arguing of Aimee's parents is audible from outside of the car. Aimee slides out of the back seat and a cool breeze touches her arms, sending a shiver through her body. She attempts to shut out her parents yelling and arguing, as well as her own thoughts and battles. Ever since she stepped into the car, her thoughts have been raging and she hasn't been able to subdue them. 'What if everyone's crazy? What if I end up hurting someone? What if they think I'm crazy?' She tries to organize her thoughts or at least slow them down, but she knows it'll end up being a wasted effort. 'Maybe you are crazy. That's why you're here right?'


This time it wasn't her own thoughts that consumed her, it was the "voice". The schizophrenia. She automatically throws a mental wall in front of that information, recognizing her illness was not what she needed right now.


A wall is also automatically thrown over her face to make it appear that nothing is wrong. She walks towards the courtyard, not bothering to take the sidewalk or to wait for her bickering parents. Her steps leave little dents in the freshly manicured grass and someone would definitely notice her small rebellious action, 'but why take a the long way when the shorter way is just as fine?', she thinks to herself.
 
Xavier sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at the ground between his shoes and bearing a striking resemblance to a scolded puppy as a random nurse lectured him. She was an older plump woman, and had burst into his room about two seconds after he slammed the door. Apparently, doors were supposed to remain open most of the time, and most certainly not slammed. He was also getting yelled at for not checking in at the front or taking his medication. He scowled as the woman made him follow her down the hall, keeping his head down to avoid any unwanted attention. "But I don't want to take them," Xavier argued childishly for the millionth time. The nurse wouldn't give, unlike his grandma who would forget just as often as Xavier and not make him take it. Sighing in defeat at the glare thrown at him, he shuffled into the nurse's office.


A few minutes later Xavier walked down the hall, hazy from the medication but actually glad that his "friend" wouldn't be showing up. At least for a while. Turning the corner he found a common room and spotted two girls talking. 'Might as well make friends,' he told himself and smiled shyly at the pair. "Um, hi. Mind if I join you guys?"
 
Kayla heard a faint voice coming from the far side of the room, she looked up from her book again to see him standing in the door way. Letting out a huff, "Yeah sure, pop a squat." She said as she kicked out the chair closest to her. She wasn't particularly fond of other people, but for some reason she didn't mind being surrounded by the people her. Maybe it was because were just as messed up as her.
 
Xavier walked over and sat on the chair, pulling his legs up to sit criss-cross and mildly wondering where people used the phrase "pop a squat". He was careful with his attitude though, sensing the one girl's discomfort even though the fog of medication. "Thanks," he said and offered a half smile. "I'm Xavier by the way," he introduced himself but made no move to shake their hands, not really sure if they wanted physical contact.
 
"Kayla." She said giving him a fake smile. "What kind of crazy are you?" She said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.


Finally giving up on reading her book she shut in and placed it on the table. She slumped down in her chair and crossed her arms, letting out a sigh.
 
As Noah's father finished checking him in a smiling nurse bustled into the room. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm running a little late today. Hello, Noah." she received no reply, but she hadn't expected one in the first place. She turned to his father. "Thank you for bringing him. I'll take his bags and show him to his room."


"Alright. Goodbye, son...I'll visit you soon." he stated somewhat awkwardly as he handed over the luggage. Noah gave a quick nod and a short glance in response. Once his father was gone the nurse turned to Noah, her friendly expression never faltering.


"I'm sure you remember me, but just in case you forgot my name I'm Mrs. Nils. But of course you don't have to be so formal; just Nils or my first name, Margaret if you want. Now, let's go see your room." She led him out of the lobby and toward the rooms. Yes, he did remember her; she had visited his house a few times in the last month, probably just so he would have one somewhat familiar person in this new place. She was a middle aged woman that reminded him of a mother with her gentleness and consideration. Still, he was extremely reluctant to grow close to her, a recurring problem.


She walked into one of the rooms and set his belongings down. He raised his head enough to examine it. It was a small room, but thankfully only had one bed, since he knew there was simply no way he could handle a roommate in his state. The only thing that stood out in the mostly white room was a delicate flower on the windowsill.


"I know how much you enjoy gardening, and I thought that you might enjoy it." Mrs. Nils explained before turning around. "Why don't you stay in here for a little while to get acquainted with your room? Just remember to keep the door open."


"...th-thank you, Mrs. Nils." he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.


"Oh, you're welcome, dear." she said, her smile widening before she left. Noah glanced around one more time before sitting on the bed. Unfortunately nearly the entire room was visible through the doorway, making him feel rather vulnerable, but there was really nothing to do about it. He didn't want to start unpacking just yet either; he was too paranoid of someone walking in and scrutinizing his belongings. So instead he stood and walked over to the window where the plant sat, absentmindedly gazing at it as he tried to calm down and vainly trying to ignore the open doorway.
 
Quinn:


His panic grows as he realizes there's no way for all of his books to fit in the small room. No. They're reassurance, a comforting presence amidst all of the strangers. Quinn is alone, except for his numerous novels and paperbacks. Overwhelmed with anger and confusion and fear, he hurls a Harry Potter book against the wall. The Half-Blood Prince chips the paint from the wall and must have scared the person on the other side of the wall-- unless the person is too crazy to care. Quinn curls up on the cold clean floor, a shivering ball of pent-up tears that are finally being let loose.
 
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